


Coming to Terms

by L_Greene



Series: Coming to Terms [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, F/F, F/M, Gun Violence, Humanstuck, M/M, Minor Character Death, Pranking, Underage Drinking, and one loses an eye, and people kill pets, but then again this is a 'verse where buses flip over on small children, everyone's evil ex, it seems like a cute fluffy fanfiction until you read the tags, like wow could you really commit murder?, mentions of bipolar disorder, slow-build, so why not flat-out murder?, some depressive behavior, violence toward pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-16
Updated: 2013-10-31
Packaged: 2017-11-21 07:52:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 75
Words: 176,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Greene/pseuds/L_Greene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux Captor is perfectly happy with his small group of friends until one night, when his friend Karkat demands a computer repair. There, he meets Eridan Ampora, and suddenly, Sollux is seeing him everywhere. Humanstuck, M for language, sexual content, and violence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Act 1

Sollux frowned at his bathroom mirror and took off his glasses, setting them next to the sink. He rubbed his eyes before holding open his left one and plucking out the brown-tinted contact lens and placing it in the plastic case on the other side of the sink. His frown deepened as he put his glasses back on and opened up the medicine cabinet behind the mirror. He reached for a short, squat bottle and poured two of the little blue pills into his hand before putting the bottle back and taking the glass sitting next to the sink. He turned on the tap, put the glass under the stream, and filled it halfway. He popped the two pills into his mouth, downed the water in three long swallows, and replaced the glass on the counter. He slowly blinked at his reflection, his eyes now mismatched—one brown and one traitorously blue—and made a soft "hmm" of acceptance as he felt the pills already kicking in. His thoughts were slowing down and his eyelids grew heavy, and with a grim sort of nod, he stepped away from the mirror and out of the bathroom, flicking off the lights as he went.

He turned right and turned on his bedroom light. He went to his closet and pulled his plain blue shirt over his head, dropping it into the basket on the floor before toeing out of his shoes and socks, and starting on his black jeans. He closed his closet door, stripped down to one of his many sets of bee-print boxers, and flipped off his bedroom light. He went to his nightstand and fumbled for the charging cord for his cell phone, plugged it in, and quadruple-checked that he had no new text messages, missed calls, or emails. He pulled the blue-and-red-striped covers back from his bed, climbed in, took off his glasses, and snapped off the bedside lamp.

He was mercifully asleep in a matter of minutes, his dreams medicated and dark.

* * *

_Bzzt-bzzt-bzzt._

Something was intruding into his unconsciousness. He didn't know what that aggravating sound was but he was vaguely aware that it shouldn't have woken him up. His eyes blinked open and he smacked at the source of the buzzing, his hand colliding with the slick plastic of his phone. He grimaced and went to hit the "ignore" button, but somehow his finger dragged against "answer" instead, and all of a sudden, his phone was on speaker and an obnoxious voice was yelling, "SOLLUX, I NEED YOU TO GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL BOUNCE OVER THERE ON A BUBBLE MADE OF MY OWN FUCKING FURY AND DRAG YOU OVER HERE BY YOUR FUCKING HAIR!"

For a second, Sollux was speechless. He'd been on the receiving end of several of Karkat's rants and knew that he wasn't at full rage yet—in fact, he mostly just seemed irritated—but he had been blindsided by the barrage of cursing. "Okay, KK," he said finally. "What the fuck is wrong now?" His lisp was even more pronounced now when he was groggy, but it was one of the few things about himself that he'd made peace with.

"MY FUCKING COMPUTER CRASHED FOR THE FOURTH TIME TONIGHT AND YOU'RE THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON I KNOW WHO HAS THE MENTAL CAPACITY IN THEIR FUCKING THINK PAN TO FIX THIS SHIT!"

Sollux closed his eyes and tried not to groan. Of _course_ Karkat was having computer issues right now. He squinted at the time on his phone and rolled his eyes. Twelve-thirty. This was ridiculous. He needed to start turning off his phone before he went to bed. Karkat was lucky he didn't have class the next morning. "Alright, fine," he grumbled. "Just give me about twenty minutes. I was asleep," he added pointedly, but the line just went dead as Karkat hung up. Of course the little bastard would have no sympathy for him.

He finally let out a frustrated groan and turned on the lamp. After he put his glasses back on, he rolled out of bed and hunted for a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. He didn't bother with socks; he just shoved his feet into a pair of shoes and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he unplugged his phone. Fortunately, Karkat's apartment was close enough for him to ride his bicycle. The sleeping pills hadn't quite worn off yet and he didn't trust himself behind the wheel of a car. At least the night air would be bracing, and if he needed to, he could always pop another pill or two.

As an afterthought, he grabbed a hoodie out of his closet and tugged it over his head, knocking his glasses askew. He pocketed his phone and grabbed his apartment keys off of his dresser, forgoing the contact lens that hid his heterochromia. Karkat and Gamzee, Karkat's roommate, both knew about his eyes and it was late and he genuinely did not give a single fuck. His priorities lay with fixing Karkat's computer and going back to sleep as soon as humanly possible.

He was right about the cold air waking him up. By the time he hopped off his bike after the two-mile ride, he was wide awake and irritated about it. He was _definitely_ going to have to take another pill to get back to sleep or risk his insomnia robbing him of some much-needed REM. He locked up his bike on the rack outside of the door to the apartment building and buzzed Karkat's apartment.

"THAT YOU, MOTHERFUCKER?" Karkat practically screamed at him through the speaker. Sollux had no idea how his neighbors put up with his near-constant shouting. He tipped his head back and growled in frustration before hitting the intercom button. "Yes, numb-nuts, it's me."

The door buzzed open, and Sollux let himself inside and went to the elevator. He hit the button for the fourth floor and allowed himself to slump against the wall as the doors slid shut. He was mentally exhausted but physically alert. It was a strange feeling, one that had his eyes drifting shut so that he could almost sleep but then the elevator bumped to a stop and the doors opened and he lazily pushed himself off the wall and went into the hallway of the fourth floor.

He knocked on the door of apartment 413 and rubbed at his eyes and the bridge of his nose until Karkat answered. The shorter teen looked up at him with a relieved sort of glare and stepped back to allow Sollux entrance. "About fucking time," Karkat said, his voice thankfully not raised.

Sollux finally stepped inside and allowed himself only a half of a second to register that Gamzee was still wide awake playing some video game on their Xbox with another kid about their age he half-recognized. His mind began to whirl, scanning for a name to put to the face—and certainly that septum piercing was distinctive, he should remember that—before finally the name _Tavros_ floated to the surface. They'd met once or twice, probably at school, although Sollux didn't share a single class with Gamzee. This kid, Tavros, he definitely didn't know about Sollux's eye thing (God, he hated it, it made him so self-conscious), and for a second, he began to panic until he remembered that it was dark and Tavros was across the room and there was no way he could see Sollux's eyes, even if he'd acknowledged his presence, and that wasn't happening because he was so absorbed in the game with Gamzee. _Okay, not a threat_ , he told himself.

Sollux only knew Gamz because he was Karkat's roommate and pretty much his best friend, a title that used to belong to Sollux but they'd drifted apart a bit after high school and now… Well, they were still friends, or else Sollux wouldn't have dragged his ass over here at half past midnight, but the days of gaming together at the same physical location and ordering shitty pizza at ten-thirty in the evening and comparing notes on their (nonexistent) love lives were over.

No, now Karkat was spending his days with Gamzee and apparently this kid Tavros and Sollux had been re-designated as Computer Technician in Karkat's mental cast list and while he didn't mind—he had other friends, after all; Aradia and he had always been close, and they were almost as tight as he and Karkat had been—it was still a bit strange to recall that they had once spent every waking moment together.

"What seems to be the problem?" Sollux asked when Karkat gestured toward the computer, the command _Get on this shit_ unspoken but definitely implied. Karkat was very lucky Sollux didn't care about being bossed around like this.

"I downloaded this file and I tried to run it and then it just crashed. I booted it up a few more times and tried to run it again and it just kept crashing my computer."

Sollux plucked off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "Jesus fuck, KK. I told you like a hundred times not to download porn onto your laptop. If you _need_ to beat off—"

"It's not fucking _porn_ , four-eyes. It's for a project that's due on Monday and I got my lab buddy here to work on this so I kind of fucking need to get this shit _done_."

Sollux raised an eyebrow. Tavros was his lab partner? He seemed to be more than comfortable with letting Karkat do all the work himself, but he never expected that Karkat would just roll with it. It was an interesting development, but he decided not to comment on it.

He had Karkat log onto the computer and then he executed an obligatory system restart. Having the laptop fail a few times had surely not been good for it. After Karkat logged back in, Sollux gave him a pointed look. "Out," he said. "I can't have you hovering over my goddamn shoulder, okay? I'll call you if I need you."

Karkat shot him a glare and crossed his arms over his chest, but he left the bedroom anyway. Sollux didn't know how or why he'd gotten so obedient lately, but it was a nice change of pace. Or it would have been, if it hadn't been so freaky. He didn't quite know what to make of it, but it wasn't important right now. Right now, he had to get Karkat's laptop running again.

He installed a free antivirus program on the computer and ran a check. He rolled his eyes at the results—the file Karkat had downloaded wasn't infected with anything, but it _was_ corrupted. Fortunately, he knew how to fix it, and when he finally double-clicked on the icon and pulled the file up, he waited for a solid two minutes before determining that, yes, the corrupted file had been the problem.

Ten minutes of work. Easy day.

He pushed back from the desk and put his glasses back on. He cracked his neck and went into the living room to fetch Karkat. "Hey, KK, it's—" He froze.

There was Karkat in a beat-up armchair and there was Gamzee on the sofa, still playing _Little Big Planet_ with Tavros next to him, but on the other side of the couch, watching the screen with a bored expression, was another guy Sollux hadn't seen before. Panic rose in his chest along with something else he couldn't name but _fuck_ , that guy with the dark, wavy hair and the thick glasses that he probably didn't even need but wore to be ironic and the sour look had come from nowhere and now he'd turned his head to look at him, too and _oh, my God_ he had a penetrating stare and _what if he can see my eyes, fuck, leaving without putting in that contact was so fucking stupid_ and—

"It's fixed?" Karkat asked hopefully, snapping Sollux's focus back to the rest of his surroundings.

"Um, yeah," he said, carefully not saying "yes" to avoid the lisp thing. He didn't even know why it suddenly bothered him, but this other guy here, out of _nowhere_ , was throwing him off. Even when he wasn't looking in the guy's direction, he was acutely aware of him. The fight or flight reaction in his body was screaming for the _flight_ option, so he swallowed and said, "C'mere, KK," and backed into the bedroom, away from Suave Hair and his Gaze of Dissection.

"What's up?" Karkat asked, following him. He went right to the laptop to look it over and frowned at the new software running in the background. "The fuck is this?"

"Free anti-virus program," Sollux explained patiently. "You didn't have a virus, but you don't have protection on your computer and you _need_ something, so I got you this. I trust these guys and since it's free, it's no big deal. Right?" he added pointedly. Without waiting for a response, he went on, "But the file you downloaded was corrupted. I fixed it and it's fine now."

Karkat _hmm_ ed in acknowledgement.

"Um, KK, who's that guy out there?"

"You mean fuckin' Hipster Dude?"

"Yes."

"That's my lab buddy. Eridan Ampora. Forgot to mention that—he was in the bathroom when you got here."

"Oh." In the background of his internal processor, he wondered what the Hell Tavros was doing there if he wasn't Karkat's lab partner, but most of his computing power was focused on _fuck fuck fuck fuck why the fuck—?_

"Pretty lucky for me, actually. Guy's a fuckin' biology nerd. It's only gonna help my grade." He looked up at Sollux and, with an ease born of years of shared experiences, said, "Get the fuck out."

Sollux snorted with laughter and headed for the door, through the living room, and out of the apartment. And if he looked back at Eridan, sneaking a glance on the way out, it was only to verify that, yes, Eridan's eyes were still on him.

As soon as the front door closed behind him, he shook his head. "I really need to get back to sleep," he mumbled to himself.


	2. Act 2

Sollux's blissful nothing of a dream was cut into by the synthesized sound of "Tear You Apart" by She Wants Revenge. For three groggy seconds, he wondered why, in the name of all that was holy, he'd set that alarm on a Sunday anyway, but it came back to him as soon as he tumbled out of bed and wound up staring at his collection of Xbox and PS3 games.

Terezi was coming over. They were going to have a twelve-hour gaming marathon.

Sollux fumbled for his glasses and tugged on a pair of sweatpants. As soon as he'd made up his bed, he pulled a clean T-shirt out of his dresser and headed for the kitchen for a bit of breakfast.

He was halfway through his two pieces of toast and two scrambled eggs when he heard a rapidfire knock on the door to his apartment. It was Terezi—it could only be her—but she was early. It was only eight. He crammed the rest of his toast into his mouth and went to answer the door.

"Hey, Sol!" she said brightly, jumping up and flinging her arms around his neck the moment the door was open. Her bright red hair practically smacked him in the face.

He cautiously returned her hug, aware that her feet were dangling about six inches off the ground. She wasn't exactly short, but he was six-foot-two and that was enough to dwarf pretty much anyone. "Hey, TZ. You're early."

She let go of him and dropped to the floor. "Yeah, I know. I was bored. I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" she added mischievously, poking her head around the corner.

"Just breakfast. Hungry?"

"Nah, I already ate." She followed him back into the kitchen anyway and sat down, taking her red-tinted glasses off and rubbing her eyes. Sollux had always thought her eyes were weird, but in a good way. They were a strange shade of green, halfway between green and blue, and incredibly pale. What most people missed through the glasses, though, was that she was legally blind.

He'd asked once, a long time ago, what exactly that meant in her case. "I can still see a little bit," she'd said. "When my glasses are off, colors are all swirled together and I can sort of focus on whatever's right in front of me." With her glasses, her vision was slightly improved, but she definitely would never be able to drive a car.

Still, she could see well enough to trounce him at _HALO_ for seven or eight hours.

Around noon, there was another sharp rapping at the door, and Sollux nearly leaped off the sofa, hitting pause as he did so. His mood had been brightened by seeing Terezi and she'd been keeping up a pleasant torrent of wisecracking and trash-talking, so when he skidded to the door in his socks and nearly plowed into the wall, he was laughing the whole time. Readjusting his glasses, he pulled open the door.

"Hey, Sollux," Aradia said warmly, and Sollux felt his grin widen.

"AA! What are you doing here?"

"I heard there was a party." She peeked into the apartment around him. "Hey, Terezi!"

Terezi waved absently, looking up for only a moment from her phone.

"Kind of. We were playing _HALO_ , but—"

"I was getting bored of kicking his ass nonstop," Terezi called over. "I'm ready to bust out the _Rock Band II_ if you are."

Sollux turned back to Aradia. "Wanna play _Rock Band_?"

Terezi didn't feel like going back to her apartment and getting her drum controller (which was the only actual instrument she would play on _Rock Band_ ), so Sollux handed her the microphone. He picked up one of the guitars and Aradia grabbed the other, and the two of them switched off between bass and regular guitar, although Aradia tended to favor the bass. After a few more hours of gaming, Sollux finally dropped back onto the sofa and slid the strap of the guitar controller over his head. His fingers ached and he cracked his knuckles while Terezi perched on the coffee table and Aradia sank into an armchair.

"So how's your weekend been, Sol?" Terezi asked, turning off the microphone.

He yawned. "Hasn't been so bad." He resisted the urge to wince slightly. His lisp got worse when he was tired and he remembered, hours too late, that his eyes were visibly mismatched, but Aradia was his best friend now that Karkat had latched himself to Gamzee and Terezi couldn't see his eyes anyway. Even if she could, though, he felt like he wouldn't mind it. After all, she had her own freaky eye thing going on. "KK called me over to his apartment last night to fix his laptop. He was working on this project," he added, knowing full well neither of the girls probably cared all that much.

"Who's KK again?" Terezi asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Karkat Vantas. We've been friends since middle school or something, but…" He shrugged. "We're not as close anymore. But he still calls me at shitty hours to fix his computer." Gamzee Makara had been there, and Tavros Nitram.

His stomach jolted. That Eridan guy had been there, too. Eridan Ampora. He briefly contemplated mentioning him but decided against it at the last minute. He would talk to Aradia about him later—maybe. Not that he had any reason to do so or anything. He'd just seen the guy for about ten seconds before he practically ran out the door. It wasn't like they'd had a moment.

But it was the first time he'd thought about him since the night before and now that he was, he couldn't stop. They hadn't exchanged words, they'd barely looked at each other, but Eridan had his heart racing a mile a minute with just a glance. It wasn't something he'd feel comfortable discussing with Terezi, even though they were good friends. Aradia on the other hand…

But that was neither here nor there because _there was nothing to talk about_. Eridan was just some guy Karkat was working with. The odds of them seeing each other again, even at school, were incredibly low. Sollux took mostly technical classes and everything about Eridan screamed art major. Their classes weren't even on the same side of campus.

"But?" Terezi prompted, taking her glasses off again to narrow her eyes at him. She only did it for dramatic effect; she hadn't been born nearly blind and knew how striking her eyes looked.

Aradia snorted and began pulling her dark, curly hair back into a ponytail. "He and Karkat aren't as close anymore."

"Nah. After high school, we took maybe one class in common, got different friends." He shrugged again. "But we still see each other." He fidgeted slightly, anxious to get off this topic before it careened into something dangerous. Not that anything they'd talk about would be dangerous because, as far as he knew, neither Terezi nor Aradia knew Eridan, and even if they did, there was nothing important about him. But he still felt like ditching the subject as soon as possible. "Anyone hungry? I can order some pizza."

* * *

Aradia left right after dinner, saying she'd only planned on staying for an hour or two (even though it had turned into nearly four). She waved goodbye to Terezi, gave a huge hug to Sollux—who was only two inches taller than her—and headed right back to her apartment, where her friend Kanaya was probably waiting.

Aradia felt guilty for making Kanaya wait that long. She hadn't anticipated having so much fun just hanging out with Sollux and Terezi, although she probably should have. He was the closest thing she had to a best friend, after all. But Kanaya needed her for moral support. She and her on-again, off-again girlfriend Vriska were apparently off right now and Kanaya wasn't taking it so well.

When Aradia finally got back to her apartment, Kanaya was already there, huddled on the floor with her back against the door and her knees drawn up to her chest.

"Aw, Kanaya, I'm so sorry," she started, crouching down to meet her eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it," her friend murmured, bowing her head.

Aradia brushed a few stray strands of hair behind Kanaya's ear. "Alright, sweetie. We don't have to talk about it. But you should at least come inside."

Kanaya nodded slowly and Aradia helped her to her feet.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here," Aradia added, unlocking the door. She nudged it open and motioned for Kanaya to go inside first. She didn't quite believe that she wasn't about to bolt. "I kinda got caught up with Sollux.

Kanaya just nodded again like she wasn't really paying attention.

"Are you hungry? I ate not too long ago but if you want dinner, I can make some grilled cheese or something."

"I'm not hungry," Kanaya said. Even though her voice was laden with sadness, she spoke precisely and carefully. She always enunciated her words clearly. When she was happy—or at least not melancholy like she was now—her tone lent itself to an air of wisdom that seemed to follow her. It was one of the things Aradia liked best about her, and the reason she initially trusted her so much.

Now, though, she just seemed like a shell of her former self.

Kanaya and Vriska had been dating intermittently for about two and a half years. Aradia didn't like Vriska very much—she bounced back and forth between Kanaya, a boy named Tavros Nitram, and another boy named John Egbert pretty regularly, although more recently, it had just been Kanaya and John (Aradia seemed to recall someone mentioning that Tavros was dating someone else and had decided to stay away from Vriska Serket for good, of which Aradia wholeheartedly approved). Vriska had a tendency to use the people around her for their own ends and most often hurt them in the process. Kanaya was a prime example of that.

Aradia couldn't count the number of times in the past eighteen months they'd been friends that Kanaya had wound up at her apartment, crying about finding Vriska making out with someone else at school or at her house or something. Vriska didn't even have the decency of being apologetic, not until she wanted Kanaya back. She was blatant about the fact that she slept with other people, and while Aradia wouldn't condemn her for that, she couldn't help being angry that it was hurting Kanaya in the process. Kanaya would promise both herself and Aradia that she wouldn't go back to Vriska next time.

But every time Vriska apologized, her voice sultry and sweet and her eyes wide and swimming with tears, Kanaya melted and took her back, and two months later (sometimes even less), she was crying in Aradia's arms again and apologizing for dragging all her drama into Aradia's previously-quiet life.

But just like tonight, Aradia shushed her and let her curl up on the sofa, her head cradled on a pillow in Aradia's lap. She gently stroked her fingers through Kanaya's hair and the smaller girl's tears subsided into the kind of aching sadness that didn't cause sobbing, only forlorn sighs.

"She doesn't have the right to treat you this way," Aradia said for what was probably the thousandth time.

"I know. But you don't know her like I do. She can be really nice sometimes."

"Like how?"

"She…" Kanaya shrugged. "I can't explain. But she's not evil. She's nice."

"You're too good for her. You deserve someone who's going to make you a priority, not an afterthought."

Kanaya sighed and pulled a blanket over herself. "I hope you finished all your homework, because I'll be here for awhile."

Aradia smiled in spite of herself. "I always finish my homework right away. Don't worry about me." As soon as she was sure Kanaya was settled in, she turned on Netflix and they started watching _Doctor Who_.

Normally, she would pick up wherever they left their re-watching off (this time, it was about halfway through season five), but Nine was Kanaya's favorite Doctor, so Aradia started over from season one. It was sure to get her mind off this crap with Vriska, at least for a little while.

* * *

Terezi hugged Sollux goodbye and bounced out into the hallway. He closed the door and yawned loudly before turning off the TV and starting to put away his consoles and games. As soon as he'd quadruple-checked that all his games were in alphabetical order and his controllers were in their appropriate places, he began wrapping up each individual slice of pizza in tinfoil and putting them in the fridge on the second-from-the-bottom shelf (the one he'd designated for leftovers). He surveyed the rest of his apartment to make sure nothing was out of place; he didn't want to worry about it the next morning before school. Once he'd verified that everything was in order, he went to his bathroom, popped his two sleeping pills, and got ready for bed.

Right before he drifted off, he couldn't help wondering what Eridan Ampora was doing at that moment.


	3. Act 3

Eridan Ampora, as it turned out, was at that very moment half-asleep in the armchair of his douchebag older brother's living room. Cronus Ampora, three years Eridan's senior, was lighting up a cigarette and offering one to his younger brother, knowing full well that Eridan didn't smoke.

Sure enough, Eridan numbly shook his head and went back to drifting on a sea of near-unconsciousness, his fingertips lazily wearing down the cheap fabric of the grotesquely-patterned recliner he currently occupied.

Everything about Cronus's apartment was cheap and filthy (including, he liked to think, Cronus himself). The television in one corner was at least fifteen years old and had only the basic dish channels, and its box was covered in a thin layer of dust. The table that Cronus had his dirty sneakers kicked up on had scratches and dents and rings from coffee mugs, gouges from knives, paint from one of Eridan's own art projects gone awry, and a huge crack right in the middle from a hammer that one of Cronus's friends had swung in a fit of anger. The sofa had to be older than Eridan himself, with cushions that were permanently indented in the shape of his brother's ass and a few loose springs that dug into your back if you sat down in just the wrong way. There were cigarette burns and scoring from X-Acto knives on nearly every flat, solid surface in here, and every bit of fabric reeked of cigarettes, marijuana, and stale Cheez-Its.

If Eridan loved his brother a little less, he would never set foot here.

As it was, their parents had long since given up on their elder son, who had seemingly transported himself to the 1950s; he fancied himself a rockabilly greaser and always had his dark hair slicked back, matched with faded jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black leather jacket. He'd also acquired the habit of stowing cigarettes behind his ears and rolling whole packs into the sleeves of his shirt. He walked with a self-assured swagger and referred to guys as "daddy-o" and girls as "doll." Eridan really wanted to punch him in the face sometimes, even though he knew his own personal style was far from laudable. (He still liked to think it was superior, however.)

Still, he did love his brother and crashed at his place a few nights a week. Specifically, nights before he had school. He typically went home for the weekends, but this weekend had been an exception. That class project with Karkat Vantas had absorbed most of his free time, so he gave Cronus a heads-up that he'd be staying all weekend, and that was that.

In his pocket, his phone buzzed, and he roused himself long enough to answer Feferi's text message with a slow smile crossing his face.

"Who's that?" Cronus asked, a note of teasing in his voice. His eyes were also drifting closed, but he still somehow mustered the energy to mess with his brother. "Got a girlfriend?"

He hoped. Feferi was his best friend, but he hoped they could turn it into something more. He was so in love with her, it was stupid. He just hadn't worked up the courage to tell her yet. His main issue with telling her was the doubt of if she felt the same—although he secretly thought she did. Girls were just so damn hard to read—he couldn't quite discern her actual intentions half of the time. But they texted constantly, so that had to count for something, right? They'd kept up a nice flow of conversation the night before while that Sollux guy had—

 _Hmm._ He did remember that Sollux guy. Fairly cute, in a lanky, nerdy, awkward kind of way. Sollux had those deep eyes and those perfect-looking lips, which Eridan could see even from halfway across the room and in half-light. He could appreciate those features even though he didn't swing that way. Nothing wrong at all with admiring a sort-of attractive guy. It was the twenty-first century, after all. Men could appreciate other attractive men without it being gay or anything.

Eridan shook his head. "Not really. Not yet." He couldn't resist a small smile at his phone. _Maybe soon, though._

"Boyfriend, then?" Cronus asked with a deliberate waggle of his eyebrows.

The younger Ampora rolled his eyes. "I'm not gay."

"You don't got to be gay to have a boyfriend. I'm a surprisingly liberal cat."

"I'm not bi, either," Eridan said, deliberately ignoring Cronus's slang.

The wannabe greaser shrugged. "Just sayin', a cat doesn't look at his phone like that unless he likes the doll he's talkin' to."

"Fuck off." He _did_ like Fef—a lot, in fact. He just didn't want that fact thrown in his face, especially by his brother. It was sensitive, the fact that he hadn't told her.

Cronus just laughed, tilting his head back as he closed his eyes. He exhaled a stream of smoke toward the ceiling. "You need to cool it. You're bad news, daddy-o."

"Shut up." He was really starting to piss off Eridan, getting to the point where he was considering going to bed a few hours early. He normally racked out around midnight or twelve-thirty since his first class was at nine and it only took him about an hour to get ready and get to school. It was just a little after ten right now and he just wanted to be away from what passed for Cronus's sense of humor. After all, he'd eaten and done his homework. There was really nothing else for him to do tonight—any TV show he normally watched didn't air on Sunday night and his brother generally dominated the television anyway ("I pay the cable bill, so I get to watch all the TV Land I want"). The only thing really keeping him awake after his long weekend was his back-and-forth with Fef.

Finally, though, he grew weary of listening to his brother's ribbing, good-natured or not, and pushed himself out of the armchair, leaving Cronus in the living room with his cigarette still dangling from his lip.

As soon as his bedroom door closed behind him, Eridan let out a relieved sigh and sank onto his futon. If he could hardly stand to spend twenty minutes in the living room, his own bedroom was the opposite of that. True, it was a little smaller than the room he was used to, the one at his parents' house, but he'd made sure that it had most of the same comforts (he'd had to compromise on the sound system, but the one here wasn't bad and he didn't exactly trust Cronus with the higher-quality one anyway). The room was the only one in the apartment that didn't stink of old food—Eridan made sure there was always oil in the Glade Plug-In he left running every day. The walls were clean, and the only evidence of marks came from tape residue or thumbtacks from posters and projects he put up and took down with a frightening regularity. The sheets on his futon were laundered every other day he was home, the color still the royal purple he favored despite the frequent washings, and the futon itself was large enough to comfortably fit two (although he always slept alone). He was content to let his five-foot-eleven frame sprawl out as he slept, and he was used to waking up twisted up in the sheets.

There was a desk in the corner, a dark mahogany piece from Crate & Barrel, that held his desktop Mac and, when he was home, his 21-inch MacBook Pro. Pens and pencils and markers were neatly arranged in cups with a fastidious attention to order that Eridan ensured never touched any other area of the apartment. If he let himself, his neatnik tendencies could propel him to clear out the whole flat, throwing away a good two-thirds of his brother's belongings in the process. He had to constantly remind himself that Cronus was a big boy and could keep his apartment however he wanted; only his room would be his sanctuary.

His closet was smaller than he liked, too, but he remedied this by hauling in and assembling a standup wardrobe and a dresser that contained the rest of his clothing, what little he no longer kept at home with his parents. He had his shirts organized by color (mostly purple or black with some blues thrown in; he favored bruise colors for reasons he didn't care to fathom) and cut, his pants by color and fabric, and his shoes by brand (typically either Converse or Macbeth, but he had a few by Gucci as well as some other more high-end designers). The three or four suits he owned (and that were not at his parents' house) had been pushed all the way to the side; he seldom wore even one and he had no idea when he would.

Eridan stripped off his sweater and shirt, tossing them in the basket near the door, before stripping out of his jeans and giving them the same treatment. He pulled open the top-right drawer of his dresser and withdrew a pair of purple flannel sweatpants and a white A-line shirt, his bedtime wear, donning them quickly and knocking his thick glasses askew in the process. He squinted before replacing them on his nose—he was horribly nearsighted, and he knew his vision was only getting worse.

He withdrew his evening towel from his closet, rummaged in his desk drawer for his shampoo, conditioner, and body wash (again, not trusting that his brother wouldn't either sabotage them or just use them), and pulled a clean pair of boxers out of the appropriate dresser drawer before heading out to the bathroom.

The only time Eridan truly felt comfortable was when he was in the water—whether it be in the pool or the sea or the bathtub. That was about the only thing he had in common with Cronus, although you wouldn't know it from looking at the elder Ampora. Eridan loved showering and spent almost two hours a day in the shower. Part of it was out of necessity—he always had an exorbitant amount of product in his hair that required excessive scrubbing to remove—but most of it was because he enjoyed standing under the stream of water and just feeling clean. He just loved it.

After nearly an hour in the shower (Cronus was used to his abnormally long showers, and Eridan was just grateful that the water bill was a flat rate, independant of usage), he finally got out and toweled himself off, wrapping the towel around his waist after he finished. He quickly and carefully took his blowdryer to his hair (he absolutely refused to go to bed with wet hair), humming in satisfaction once it held no trace of water. He ran his fingers through his hair once to ensure it was completely dry, enjoying the feel of perfectly clean hair. He'd never go out without gel in his hair, but when he was home, he liked the freedom of not having to worry about it, even with his hair hanging in his face.

He put on his clean underwear and slipped back into his pajamas. Once he gathered up his various bottles from the shower, he slunk out of the bathroom, called out a hasty "good night" to his brother (who was still staring at the wall, but now with the distinct scent of marijuana wafting overhead), and closed his bedroom door tightly behind him again.

He tossed his towel and boxers into the clothes basket, put the shampoo, conditioner, and body wash back in the appropriate drawer, and slid his glasses off his face. Running one hand through his hair again (he'd have to dye his hair again; his roots were coming in and he made a mental note to pick up black and purple dye from the drugstore down the street), he crawled under his covers and sighed contentedly, feeling himself already nodding off. He sent a brief but smiley-filled good-night text message to Fef and plugged his phone in on his nightstand. He snapped his bedside light off and was asleep minutes later, his dreams filled with her and a certain pair of almost-feminine lips that his mind wouldn't allow him to recognize. When he woke up the next morning, he had no recollection of his dreams.


	4. Act 4

Sollux's alarm went off at six-thirty the next morning. He tapped the screen of his phone to snooze the alarm and buried his head under his pillow. He did this every morning he had school, but it never got easier.

He'd just settled back into a light doze when the same song pierced into his consciousness. He let out a groan and groped for his phone to silence the alarm, but his fingertips knocked the phone off his nightstand and the song kept right on playing. Sighing in resignation, he tumbled out of bed, turned off the alarm, and went to his closet.

Yellow shirt, gray jeans, black sneakers with the red and blue laces all went flying onto his bed before he grabbed a change of boxers and went to take a shower. If nothing else, water hitting him generally woke him up.

Ten minutes later, he toweled himself off, put in his contact lens, brushed his teeth, and started getting dressed, tossing his dirty clothes in the basket in his closet. Since he had leftover pizza, he unwrapped two slices, stuck them on a plate, and put them in the microwave to heat up.

He was out of his apartment by seven-fifteen, slinging his messenger bag across his chest and closing the door tightly behind him. He patted down his pockets to check for his phone, wallet, and keys, and, as he verified he had all his necessary belongings, the elevator doors slid open and he stepped inside.

There was only one other occupant of the elevator, a slightly-shorter young man with sunglasses and bleached-blond hair. He had a bag over his shoulder as well and his white shirt had a picture of a scratched record on it. Sollux was pretty sure he recognized him from school. What was his name? Dan? Dan Walker?

"Hey," Sollux mumbled, trying to figure out who the Hell this guy was.

"Sup," the blond answered, barely inclining his head in Sollux's direction.

He dismissed it, giving up on the boy's name. The apartments in this building (and, honestly, on the whole block) were popular residences for the student population—cheap and close to campus. He wasn't surprised he recognized other students.

The other boy had obviously had a long weekend, though. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed behind his sunglasses. The headphones hanging around his neck were issuing some song that Sollux couldn't quite make out, but it had a heavy bass beat. He'd probably gotten to sleep late, and Sollux rubbed his own eyes in sympathy. If he didn't get at least nine hours, he was utterly unable to function.

The ride down to the first floor was silent save the song from the other boy's headphones. The elevator didn't make another stop until it bumped and the doors slid open on the first floor. The blond practically dashed out of the elevator, absconding with such speed that Sollux was temporarily stunned. It almost seemed like he was being chased by invisible ninjas.

Recovering, he stepped out of the elevator and headed for the door that the other boy had just darted through.

* * *

Aradia was already at school, in the building that housed the cafeteria and the rooms where all the campus's clubs and organizations met. She was sitting in a corner, nursing a cup of coffee, and lazily carding her fingers through the hair of someone who had her head down on the table. Feeling his eyebrow quirk up in curiosity, he approached them and waved to Aradia. "Hey, AA."

"Good morning, Sollux."

"Who's this?" he asked, hyperaware of his lisp. He felt the bizarre compulsion to check his reflection in his phone to make sure he'd put in his contact lens even though he distinctly recalled putting it in this morning.

"This is my friend Kanaya."

The girl with her head down raised her hand in a wave but didn't look up. Her dark hair was cut short, a bob with the ends curled up, and it skimmed the table top.

"She's not having a good morning."

"I'm not having a pleasant _month_ ," Kanaya corrected, her voice slightly muffled by the table.

"Right. She's not having a good month."

As a few more people started trickling into the building—including the blond guy he'd seen on the elevator; he was accompanied by a boy he didn't recognize with dark hair and a good-natured grin, and he seemed to be talking the other boy's ear off-Sollux pulled out the chair next to Aradia and pushed the bag that currently occupied it onto the floor. Aradia shot him a dirty look and righted her bag. "Sorry about that," he said. He internally debated on whether or not to ask what was wrong with Kanaya—she seemed genuinely upset even though he couldn't see her face—but the lady in question let out a frustrated groan.

"I fail to comprehend how I so horribly misunderstand females, considering I am one myself," she said finally, lifting her head. She smoothed out her bangs and Sollux saw that her lipstick was black.

Funny. She wasn't dressed like a Goth. Sure, that red floor-length skirt was a little odd, but her shirt was white and she wasn't wearing three pounds of eye makeup. She was actually quite pretty in a classic way, with deep brown eyes and full lips.

"Her now-ex-girlfriend is..." Aradia mentally fumbled for an appropriate description. "Well, a bitch is the simplest explanation," she finished.

"Kindly refrain from being overly harsh. I do still regard her fondly," Kanaya grumbled.

"Kanaya, she treats you like crap with no regard for your feelings and she plays with you and at least one other person. It's not fair and you know it." Aradia's tone had taken on a gentleness, and Sollux got the feeling that they'd had this discussion before.

"I am aware," the other girl murmured. She sighed again and set her head back down, covering her face with her arms. "I simply wish that you would not speak of her so discourteously."

Aradia rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Alright. Just because you asked, I'll keep my opinion to myself."

"Thank you."

Sollux felt awkward there, but it was shortly after eight and his first class didn't start until nine. With no other choice, he quickly excused himself, went to the small meal line along the far wall, and started preparing a cup of tea. He grabbed a bag of Lipton Black Tea (he didn't typically favor something so simple, but the school didn't have a lot of variety) and stuck it in a Styrofoam cup. After adding the hot water from the cappuccino machine, he upended one of the bear-shaped bottles of honey and squeezed almost a tablespoon into the cup. He took a plastic spoon from a little further down the line and stirred it in before lifting the cup to his lips.

 _Perfect._ He could barely taste the bitterness of the tea underneath all the honey. Just the way he liked it.

He started to head back to Aradia and Kanaya's table when the door opened again and in sailed that Eridan Ampora guy from Saturday night.

Eridan had a girl next to him, but Sollux barely noticed her. For three interminable seconds, he found himself staring at the other boy, unable to look away.

He hadn't been able to really register Eridan's appearance while he'd been at Karkat's place, but now that he saw him in the light of day, he could easily see, even from this distance, that his eyes almost looked purple. _Maybe he's wearing contacts_ , Sollux thought, _or maybe it's the hair_. He had a purple streak in his hair, a four-inch-long stripe of color from his bangs back, standing out against the black of the rest of his hair. Even though it was easily sixty-five degrees outside, Eridan was wearing a blue scarf wound around his neck at least three times, a black shirt, and black-and-blue striped jeans. For Sollux, everything screeched to a halt when Eridan Ampora in his ridiculous getup and douchebag hipster hair and too-big glasses amplifying his too-intense stare walked into that room.

But then he snapped himself out of it and quickly turned on his heel, heading right back to Aradia and Kanaya.

"HEY! BEANPOLE!" an annoyingly familiar voice screeched across the cafeteria, and Sollux visibly winced.

"Fuck," he muttered, and turned right back around to level a bored stare at Karkat, who had managed to slip in unnoticed behind Eridan and the girl.

Ampora, the female standing next to him, and just about everyone else in the cafeteria looked from Karkat to Sollux—the only person in his general vicinity to warrant the nickname of "beanpole'—and back, and it was more than enough to have him wonder wildly how long it would take for him to sprint back to Aradia's table, snatch his backpack, and abscond from the scene. Probably too long, considering he wasn't a runner by any stretch of the imagination, and besides, everyone was looking. Karkat had already caught sight of him, and he'd already acknowledged the clarion call. It was too late. With a sigh of resignation—and one last glance at Eridan, who was still looking at him—he finally headed toward Karkat. "What do you want?" he asked, carefully not using words with sibilance.

"Hey, I owe you one for helping me out on Saturday," Karkat answered with uncharacteristic humility—and a decidedly lowered volume. "I know you didn't have anything for breakfast," he added, causing Sollux to roll his eyes, "so you should have some real food. Something besides tea. My treat."

Sollux took a moment to sip his tea, arching an incredulous eyebrow toward the food line. "You think _that_ could be called real food?"

Karkat shrugged, his typically-annoyed expression sliding back into place. "It's better than nothing at all, asshat. Accept the return of the fucking favor."

"Actually, KK, I did eat today. I had leftover pizza. I'm really not that hungry."

"Maybe lunch, then. We could all catch a bite. I wouldn't mind getting chummy with a few more of your friends," the girl beside Eridan said brightly. For the first time, Sollux really noticed her and got a good look. She was about six inches taller than Karkat, who made nearly anyone look like a giant in comparison. Her long brown hair was curly and looked like it was still a bit damp from that morning's shower, and he was pretty sure there was a bathing suit strap peeking out from underneath her magenta-colored shirt. He wondered if she was a swimmer. Then he caught sight of a set of sport goggles dangling from the side of her backpack, basically confirming his hypothesis. She was probably a great swimmer—and the bit of leg he glimpsed underneath her blue-and-green skirt seemed to support that as well. She had some really nice legs.

Karkat groaned and rolled his eyes. Eridan scoffed. "As fish puns go, that one was pretty fuckin' tame," Ampora said. Sollux realized it was the first time he'd heard the guy actually talk. His voice wasn't unpleasant—it was a bit deeper than he expected, and a little more drawling than he was used to. He had the air of one who was used to being the center of attention, enjoyed it, and expected it.

"Hush. Don't you make fun of my fish puns! I'm Feferi, by the way," she added with a wave.

"Um." There was no way he could get out of introducing himself now, unless—

"Right. This is Sollux Captor, high school best friend, and tech whiz extraordinaire," Karkat explained.

"Hi," Sollux mumbled. Feferi was still smiling at him and her bright green eyes were actually really pretty. She was a really nice-looking girl. A little rounder than most of the girls he liked, but it looked to be more muscle than anything else.

"So lunch then?" Karkat asked, returning his attention to Sollux.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I—that'll be fine. Why not?" He glanced again and Feferi and Eridan, and wondered if both of them would be present as well. He didn't know how long he could avoiding using words with an S. Maybe he could play off not speaking much as a total social ineptness.

"Awesome! My class before lunch ends at twelve-fifteen so I can meet you guys somewhere," Feferi said excitedly. _Bubbly_ was the word that floated up in Sollux's head, and he nearly laughed at the description.

"Well, our bio class ends at noon," Karkat started, but Eridan cut in smoothly.

"I can drive us somewhere. No sense in takin' the bus if we don't gotta."

A lot of students at school lived on their own or in apartments near campus. A lot fewer had their own cars. Sollux raised his eyebrow, wondering how rich Eridan was to be able to afford a car, and why he was going to a third-rate college like this one anyway.

"Where are we going then?" Sollux asked suspiciously. He thought this was going to be a cafeteria lunch, but it seemed like Feferi had inadvertently turned it into a big excursion.

"Oooh, how about that one vegan place a couple miles from here?" Feferi suggested.

Karkat groaned again. "Fef, I think you overestimate my budget."

"It's not that expensive!" she said with a pout.

 _Jesus. This is insane._ "Look, how about we go to Rubio's?" He realized, a beat too late, that Rubio's had an S. He waited for the inevitable snicker at his lisp.

It didn't come. Feferi didn't seem to notice, Karkat already knew about it, and Eridan subtly glanced at him, raising his eyebrows slightly, but said nothing aside from, "I'm okay with that if you are."

"Yeah, that's a fuck-ton better for my budget," Karkat said.

Feferi's pout grew more pronounced. "I don't know what you're angling for, but I guess that's okay."

Karkat smacked his forehead at the fish pun and Sollux quickly said goodbye, returning to Aradia's table with his tea all but cold in his cup. He was pretty sure he felt eyes on him as he left, but he didn't turn to see who was watching him.


	5. Act 5

"Hey, Karkat!" John called cheerfully, sliding into the seat next to the shorter boy. "How was your weekend?"

John had the kind of bubbly personality that usually drove Karkat into a frothing rage, a kind of effervescent brightness typically reserved for the uninhibited optimist. It did infuriate Karkat, but it was more of an affectionate irritation than anything else. Karkat had the sense that John was always happy because of his outlook on life, not on some ill-conceived notions of how the world worked.

On John's other side, a blond boy slouched, pulling his headphones over his ears to drown out the last few moments of chatter before the class actually started. This, Karkat knew, was how unashamed cool-kid Dave Strider operated. He would often keep his headphones and dark sunglasses on all during class and somehow come away with detailed notes on the entire lecture. Karkat had a begrudging admiration to give absolutely zero fucks about school and still manage to ace his classes.

"Ever-fucking bullshit. I got a virus on my computer—" (he knew that was a lie, but he also wasn't convinced that Sollux hadn't pulled some bullshit tech-whiz sorcery to fix whatever _was_ wrong with his laptop) "—and this was _after_ I had to start on my pan-humping bio project."

John made an appropriately sympathetic face. "Sorry. Did you get it fixed?"

"Yeah, my friend Sollux fixed it."

"And your project?"

"Finished. Mostly thanks to Ampora, I guess."

John furrowed his brow and pushed his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose. His glasses appeared perpetually in danger of falling off his face and his dark hair was always untidy, as if he couldn't be bothered to run a comb through it. At least Karkat attempted to tame his hair—the fact that he didn't typically succeed didn't particularly bother him, however. "Ampora? Eridan Ampora? That hipster guy with the scarf and the glasses?"

Karkat thought it was a bit ironic of John to point out Eridan's glasses—his biology partner's glasses were only a few millimeters thicker than John's; he didn't have a whole lot of room to talk. Still, he nodded. "He's a genius at that kind of crap," he acknowledged.

"Huh. I always heard he was kind of a dick."

"Being a genius and being a dick aren't mutually exclusive," Dave drawled from John's other side. Strider didn't talk much, so when he did, people—John included—paid attention. "In fact," he went on in a lazy Austin drawl that had no business in southern California, "most geniuses _are_ dicks."

"Yeah, just look at Strider over here," Karkat snarked. His ribbing was fairly good-natured, though. He typically reserved his most barbed comments for people he actively disliked.

"Aw, thanks, Vantas," Dave said. He flashed Karkat a quick, cheesy grin before facing forward again. "Nice to know other people appreciate my dope flow and sweet rhymes."

John cackled and a satisfied smirk tugged at the corner of Dave's mouth before his expression resolved into the neutral, cool one he always wore.

At that moment, an annoying chirping sound issued from somewhere around the vicinity of John's backpack, and he immediately dug around for his phone. He fished it out and checked it.

Karkat and Dave both happened to be looking at him and saw the way the laughter died almost immediately off John's face.

"Don't," Dave muttered. "Give me that."

"I—I have to... uh, I gotta get this," John stuttered.

"No." Dave reached over and plucked the phone out of John's hand. "Fuck her. We talked about this, remember? Just leave it."

"I... I can't. Dave. Give it back."

There was a few moments where John stared at Dave and Dave presumably stared back at John, but it was difficult to tell through his sunglasses. Karkat, meanwhile, watched the whole scene with a mix of concern and curiosity. He thought he knew John fairly well, but he couldn't figure out who the mystery caller could be. Who could affect eternally-chipper John Egbert so completely, wipe the prankster grin off his face so quickly and replace that smile with such an ashen expression?

"What—?" he started, but caught the way Dave shook his head, two quick jerks to one side and then the other, and he shut up.

"Please, Dave," John murmured. "Give me my phone back."

It was nearly impossible to see the look on Dave's face, but he finally relented and handed John's phone back to him. "You can't let her control you like this."

John didn't answer. He just snatched his phone and darted out the classroom door seconds before their professor walked in, shooting a puzzled look after him.

"Well, if Mr. Egbert won't be joining us... do we have any other absentees?"

 _WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?_ Karkat wrote out on a sheet of looseleaf. He folded it up and passed it to Dave as surreptitiously as possible.

_Hasn't John ever mentioned Vriska to you?_

Karkat thought hard. He thought the name sounded familiar, but he couldn't figure out how. _HE MIGHT HAVE. WHO IS SHE?_

_Vriska Serket, also known as the most sickening person on the planet. She's been stringing John along for months now. Him and some other boy and a girl, believe it or not._

_THREE PEOPLE? SOUNDS EXHAUSTING._

_Yeah, well, apparently this other boy isn't really seeing her anymore. He has someone else, from what I understand. But John and this girl, she's been fucking them both over._

_SOUNDS EVIL._

_Probably. But I haven't met her and I'm withholding judgement until I actually do, as hard as that's going been. John really likes her, but she just uses people._

_YOU'D THINK HE'D HAVE THE THINK SPAN TO REALIZE SHE'S NO GOOD._

_He does, but he doesn't want to let her go yet. She's got him on a real tight leash and, like it or not, he's gonna have to be the one to cut it. I can't do it for him._

Karkat shoved the note into his back pocket and looked from the clock on the wall to the door. Through the glass, he could see John standing across the hall with the hood of his blue sweatshirt pulled up over his hair. His shoulders were hunched, and Karkat couldn't help feeling some small stirrings of pity that he quickly pushed away.

He couldn't be John Egbert's keeper. He could barely look after himself.

* * *

The clacking of keyboards was a soothing sound for Sollux, who easily lost himself in lines and lines of code. Programming made him remember just how much he hated people. People, after all, were illogical and irrational and prone to holding grudges. They changed unpredictably. They could wake up one morning and decide they didn't like you anymore. Code and programs could be manipulated to your heart's content and if something didn't work right the first time, you could go back and fix it, and the program wouldn't hold it against you. Each command did something specific, and if it didn't, you entered the command wrong and it was easy to remedy. They were predictable.

Computers didn't laugh at your lisp, either. That was a huge point in their favor. He liked computers a lot better than he liked people.

Most people, anyway. Terezi was a bit of an exception.

He was never able to figure out what she took that programming class for anyway since she was a pre-law student, but he wasn't unhappy to see her most days. It was just odd when she appeared over his shoulder and sniffed. "Hey, Sollux!" she said with a toothy, mischievous grin. "I thought something smelled familiar!"

Sollux rolled his eyes. "Can you not?"

"Don't be so sour," she said, sticking out her tongue. "You mainline honey—aren't you supposed to be sweet?"

Sollux chuckled in spite of himself. "That's an urban legend," he murmured, shaking his head. "You can't get sweet from eating sugary food."

Terezi scoffed. "Sure, whatever. Speaking of which, what are we doing for lunch?"

"We—" Suddenly, he remembered he'd made lunch plans with Karkat and his friends. He smacked his forehead against the table his keyboard was on, drawing a brief, chastising glance from one of his other classmates. "Crap. I told KK I'd go to lunch with him."

"Who?"

Sollux raised his eyebrows. "Karkat Vantas? I know I mentioned him. I fixed his computer on Saturday, remember?"

"Oh! That guy! Yeah, I remember you talking about him. Why does he want to have lunch with you? I thought you guys weren't that close."

"Yeah, well, he wanted to thank me for fixing his computer, so he decided to take me out to lunch. His lab partner and _his_ girlfriend are coming along, too, I guess. The lab partner is giving us a ride."

"Sounds painful," Terezi said. Her smile didn't quite fit the statement, though.

"Yeah, well, the girlfriend seems pretty cool. Doesn't mean I want to hang out with all of them, though."

"Well, maybe you'll get some new friends out of the deal. God knows you can't hang out with just me and Aradia every day." She suddenly looked like she'd been hit by a bolt of inspiration. "Hey, why don't I go with you? I'd like to meet these elusive friends of yours anyway."

"They're not my friends. I mean, Karkat _was_ , but he's not really anymore, and Eridan—"

"Gah, I'm just joking! But I still want to come along," she added, bouncing in her seat a bit. "So, can I?"

"Um. I guess if Eridan has room in his car, probably. I can't imagine that KK will mind too much."

Her toothy grin widened. "Excellent! Where ya going?"

"Rubio's. Hope you like fish tacos."

Terezi waggled her eyebrows. "Never really had a taste for them, but there's a first time for everything."

Sollux sighed. "Are you planning on doing some actual programming exercises today, or were you just going to talk my ear off?"

"You're no fun, Sollux." Still, she turned in her seat and fished her blind-friendly keyboard out of her backpack to hook it up to her computer. Less than a minute later, she was typing away next to him.

A few minutes later, though, he'd pushed his keyboard away from him and turned to look at her. Terezi wasn't the greatest at relationship advice—he couldn't remember the last time she had a boyfriend—but she was smart. "AA's friend Kanaya. You know her?"

"Hmm." Terezi continued typing, but her expression grew pensive. For a moment, the rhythm of her keystrokes faltered. "I might have heard the name. Why?"

"Apparently Kanaya's hung up on her ex, and AA's taken it upon herself to comfort her."

"Okay, and?"

"And... I don't know. I was just wondering."

"Maybe it's best for Kanaya that she dumped her, though. She's probably better off without her anyway."

"Um. Okay. That was pretty much what AA was saying. But Kanaya isn't so sure."

"If you had just gotten dumped by someone you loved, would you be so easily convinced?"

Sollux pondered that for a minute. "I'd imagine not. However, I don't have any actual experience to know."

Terezi's face split into another grin. "Aw, don't worry, Sol. Some day, your princess—or prince—will come," she joked. "In fact, they could be coming right now."

He blinked. "Did you just—"

"Yep. Deal with it."

He rolled his eyes, but they lapsed into another comfortable silence. Sollux pulled his keyboard back toward him and resumed his coding, pausing for a few moments to send a text message to Karkat. _Hey KK my friiend TZ want2 two come wiith u2 two Rubiio'2 thiink ED wiill have enough room iin hii2 car?_ He slipped his phone back in his pocket and waited. Sure enough, a few moments later, he received a response.

_THIS IS WHY I HATE TALKING TO YOU. I CAN BARELY READ YOU OVER YOUR STUPID TYPING QUIRK. WHO THE FLIPPING FUCK IS TZ._

_TZ iis Terezii 2he'2 iin my codiing class._

_CODING CLASS. WHY IN THE NAME OF FUCK DO YOU NEED A CODING CLASS._

_Ea2y A can 2he come or not?_

_GREAT ANOTHER PAN HUMPING TECH WHIZ. SURE, FINE, WHY NOT. WE CAN MAKE IT AN ASSHOLE PARTY. BETWEEN YOU AND ERIDAN AND JOHN, I DON'T KNOW WHO'S GOING TO DRIVE ME TO MULTIPLE HOMICIDE FIRST._

* * *

Eridan leaned back in his seat and let his eyes drift across the classroom. He barely paid attention to his math teacher's lecture. After all, everything this guy could have possibly told him, he already knew. Not that his grades would show it, but he was a smart person.

Book-smart, anyway. It didn't usually do him a whole lot of good in real life. Like this thing with Feferi. And that Sollux guy—he'd caught the way he'd looked her over. He felt his hackles raise in anger. No one got to look at Fef like that, especially someone who didn't even know her.

He gritted his teeth and checked his phone. There was still a good thirty minutes left in class, and forty-five minutes before his biology class with Karkat. The sooner they got this lunch over with, the better. At least that way, he and Feferi could happily avoid ever having contact with Sollux Captor again.

And maybe soon he could finally work up the courage to tell Fef how he really felt about her.


	6. Act 6

Terezi hung onto Sollux's arm so tightly that he was sure it would take a week for all the feeling in his fingers to return. Her white cane was a blur as she twirled it at her side, grinning in an almost malicious way (he wasn't sure if she meant to look that creepy or if it came naturally) as he led her to where Karkat and Eridan were waiting in the cafeteria area. Neither of them looked particularly thrilled to see him, Eridan moreso than Karkat, and both of them looked puzzled at Terezi's presence.

She didn't seem to notice their reaction (her being blind and all) and introduced herself with all the showmanship she could muster. "Hey, boys! I'm Terezi!"

"Uh, Eridan."

"Karkat."

"Sollux said that Karkat said I could come," she added, flashing her teeth in the direction of Eridan's voice.

"I didn't fucking think he was serious!"

"Calm down, dick-shit. I'm not gonna be a bother," Terezi said, finally letting go of Sollux's arm. He wasn't sure if she was genuinely annoyed or not, but he was already regretting this decision.

"Who are you calling dick-shit, void-humper?" Karkat shot back.

"You, ass-wagon!"

"Fuck, will you two calm down?" Sollux said, moving to stand between the two. He looked at Karkat first. "Don't antagonize the blind girl, jerk. She has a cane and she will hit you." He turned to face Terezi. "Don't antagonize the jerk, blind girl. He has a short fuse and he will explode."

"Wait, you're blind? And who are you calling short?" Karkat demanded from Terezi and Sollux in turn, his voice raising even higher.

"Bluh, of course I'm blind. Check the cane, douche-nozzle," she said. She waved her cane around for emphasis.

Karkat fumed silently in response. Terezi giggled as Eridan rolled his eyes. "Stop flirtin', kids. It's gettin' annoyin'."

Sollux rubbed the bridge of his nose. It was going to be a long lunch.

Fortunately, Feferi didn't seem to mind having another girl to talk to. She and Terezi chatted comfortably from the time they piled into Eridan's gleaming purple car (Sollux sensed he had a purple fetish) all the way through lunch. Karkat, for his part, was mercifully quiet, as if the revelation of Terezi's blindness had genuinely stunned him.

Feferi had even opted to sit in the back next to Terezi, with Karkat on Terezi's other side, leaving Sollux in the front seat next to Eridan. Maybe he'd misinterpreted Eridan and Feferi's relationship. Not that he'd been in a relationship for a long time, but it seemed to him that if they were actually dating, they'd probably want to sit together.

"Is this it?" Eridan asked incredulously as he pulled into the parking lot. He peered up at the huge sign proclaiming the restaurant to be Rubio's as if it was somehow a lie.

"Yeah, we're here," Sollux said. He unbuckled his seatbelt and slid out of the car.

Feferi craned her neck to look from the sign to the actual restaurant. "Oh. Fish tacos?"

"This place has the best seafood tacos ever!" Terezi enthused.

Sollux caught the glance Feferi and Eridan exchanged and sighed. "They have vegan-friendly food, too," he said. He supposed he should have realized earlier that she was a vegan, considering she suggested a vegan place, but he hadn't been paying that much attention. "And regular Mexican food, if you're of a mind."

Feferi smiled again. "Oh. That's good, then! Now let's go—I'm starving!"

Sollux led the way to the door, pointlessly hoping that the sooner they ate, the sooner they could leave. He got in line as Eridan and Feferi came through with Karkat and Terezi bringing up the rear—even though she didn't exactly need the help finding her way to the door, he seemed to have taken up the task of guiding her, the two of them bickering the whole way. Sollex felt a little guilty for just leaving her with him, though. She didn't deserve that.

He'd just placed his orderand started to pull out his wallet when Karkat's harsh screech reached his ears. "Sollux Captor, you back your freakishly skinny, leet-hacker ass up from that pay station! I'm repaying you, remember?!"

Sollux closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose under his glasses, and took a quick step back—right into Eridan. The other boy seemed momentarily stunned by the impact but recovered quickly, shoving Sollux away from him with a curt, "Watch it, asshole."

It might have been his imagination, but he could have sworn he heard Eridan's voice trip on the W sound. He ignored it though, sidestepped Terezi (whom he'd narrowly missed when Eridan shoved him), and shot the other boy a murderous look. Eridan seemed constantly to be annoyed with something, and Sollux wasn't sure why, but it was starting to get on his nerves. If he never saw him after today, he would be just fine with it.

Terezi ordered next, having long since memorized the menu (which was fortunate, since she couldn't actually read it), and Karkat followed her. After Feferi and Eridan conferred quietly with each other, they ordered the same thing: a vegan burrito with the works. Sollux caught the way Eridan insisted on paying for both of them, as well as the annoyed way Feferi tossed her hair and insisted right back that he shouldn't pay for her food all the time.

 _Ah._ Now he could see it. They weren't dating, but he clearly wanted to be. She, on the other hand, was either unaware of Eridan's true affections or chose to ignore them. He wondered how badly he'd been shot down before this.

Still, she'd probably made the right call. The thought of anyone actually wanting to _date_ that asshole was both hysterical and horrifying.

They took a booth near the door, Eridan and Feferi on one side and Karkat, Terezi, and Sollux crammed onto the other bench (although in all fairness, the three of them were about equal to the other two). Sollux purposely avoided looking at anyone, choosing to stare down at his fingernails and his receipt until he heard his number called, while the other four started a meaningless conversation. It was a relief to leave them, honestly—Terezi and Karkat had started to squabble again, although it didn't sound as harsh as Karkat usually liked it.

He waited at the counter until the other four orders were up, mostly as an excuse to stay away from them. He'd begun to feel the stirrings of a mania attack (as he called the upswing of his bipolar disorder) coming on and wanted to calm down without causing an incident. He'd been off his bipolar medication for a few months now and he'd been doing okay up until this point, but this whole situation grated on his nerves like nothing else. He actually wished that it had been Aradia to come with him today instead of Terezi because she was the only one who knew he was off his meds (Karkat still thought he was on them) and was also the only one of his few friends who didn't actively try to irritate him. In fact, she took a great amount of pleasure in being able to calm him.

Eridan and Feferi's burritos were deposited on his tray along with their drinks, followed a few moments later by Terezi's taco plate and Karkat's quesadilla and their drinks. Resigning himself to rejoining the group, he picked up the laden tray and headed back to the table.

"Order up," he half-joked. Maybe he really should have considered taking his meds again if he was going to insist on making stupid cracks like that, but he didn't really like popping more pills than he had to.

Everyone grabbed their food off the tray and dug in, and for a few minutes, the only sound besides chewing was Feferi exclaiming over how good her burrito was.

"Yeah, it's reel good," Eridan agreed. Then he seemed to have realized what he said as Feferi let out a giggle. "I mean really, not reel."

"You know you love my fish puns."

"They're a part a' your sparklin' personality—a' course I do."

Sollux suddenly wasn't hungry.

"See? Told you this place was the bomb!" Terezi said, as if she had been the one to suggest Rubio's in the first place.

"I'll definitely be making Eridan bring me back here in the future," Feferi added. "Great idea, Sollux!"

The glare that Eridan suddenly leveled at him could only be described as murderous. He pretended he didn't notice it, though, and continued eating like nothing had happened. It was either that or strangle Eridan with that stupid fucking scarf that he wore (even in the winter, it didn't get cold enough to warrant a _scarf_ around here—what a pretentious twat) with that stupid fucking peacoat, and he didn't think he could get away with homicide in public with three (well, two and a half) credible witnesses.

Still, the rest of lunch wasn't half bad, once he made a habit of ignoring Eridan and Karkat. Feferi asked him about his classes while Eridan's scowl deepened and Sollux answered calmly. He was almost tempted to pull faces at him when the others weren't looking since he was sitting directly across from Eridan and forced to look at his stupid face, but he resisted—barely. He did wonder, however, what he did to deserve this kind of Hell. All he did was help Karkat fix his computer, and this ended up being more of a punishment than a repayment.

"...and then there's fucking Gamzee sitting there on the couch, stoned out of his mind, and all he says is, 'Want some motherfucking Faygo?'" Karkat was saying to Terezi, but Feferi was listening, too—much to Eridan's visible annoyance. Terezi let out a mad cackle, slapping the table in glee, and even Feferi laughed. Sollux wished he'd heard the first part of this story. "I don't even fucking know where he gets that swill—they only sell that shit in Michigan, I think."

Once the girls settled down, Terezi turned in her seat to look at Eridan. With a calculated coolness, she pushed her red-tinted glasses up the bridge of her nose. "So, tell me, Eridan. What kind of guy wears a scarf in September?"

On the table, Eridan's hands bunched into fists. Sollux hadn't noticed them before, but to his surprise (although he supposed it _shouldn't_ have been a surprise, since he knew Eridan was rich), he had rings on every one of his fingers. How the Hell could he function with that much jewelry?

"I thought you said you w-were blind," Eridan growled, and Sollux was pleased to hear that, yes, he actually did stutter on his Ws.

"Legally, I am. I can see a bit. Enough to know that your scarf is blue. And you have a purple streak in your hair," she added with a frankly evil grin. "You gay or something?"

A muscle in his jaw twitched. "No, as a matter a' fact. I'm completely straight."

Maybe it was because of how angry he sounded and because she just liked to rag on people, or maybe it was because she was genuinely curious, but she pressed the issue. "You sure? We're a very accepting group of individuals. Well, me and Sollux, anyway. Sol's bi, you know."

"Yeah, thank you, TZ," he mumbled sarcastically, feeling his cheeks heat up all the same. "Really needed to out me to a bunch of random people." His smug mood vanished just as quickly as it had arrived.

He was out to his friends, after all—Aradia knew, and Terezi and Karkat and Gamzee (as well as his brother, but that was a huge can of worms he didn't even like to think about most days)—but he didn't tell people he'd just met that he was bisexual, especially cunts like Eridan Ampora.

"Can't say _that_ info shocks an' astounds me," the cunt in question said snidely.

"Eridan!" Feferi said sharply, reproachfully, but something inside Sollux snapped because he took his half-full cup of Dr Pepper and emptied it over Eridan Ampora's head.

There was a stunned silence for a solid three seconds, as though no one could really believe what had just happened. _Sollux_ could barely believe it, and he'd actually done it. Eridan recovered quickly though. "You motherfucker!" he spluttered, struggling to get out of the booth. His rage rendered him uncoordinated, though, and he got stuck between the seat and the table. It was enough time for Sollux to slide smoothly out of his seat, grab his backpack, and swing it onto his shoulder.

Eridan cursed at his back, but Sollux didn't care. He didn't even mind walking all the way back to campus. Seeing the mortified, shocked look on Eridan's face was well worth it.


	7. Act 7

Dave Strider scanned the occupants of the cafeteria until his gaze landed on a familiar face. Without missing a beat, he headed right for Rose's table. She didn't appear to notice him until he dropped his bag next to his intended seat, and even then, she didn't look up.

This didn't deter him, though. "Hey, Rose, you busy?"

"Extremely," she said. Upon closer inspection, he realized she had all of her knitting paraphernalia with her.

"Cool. So, listen, John got a call from Vriska during class this morning."

Rose finally looked up from her knitting needles, her left eyebrow raised. "I see. And how did our friend Mr. Egbert respond?"

Dave groaned and leaned back in his seat, running his fingers through his hair. "About as well as you'd think. He looked like someone just ran over his metaphorical puppy."

"Did he accept the call?"

He nodded. "I think so, anyway. He ducked out of class and then I didn't see him after that. It was just me and Karkat, and that was weird."

The corner of Rose's mouth twitched up into a smile. "I see." She adjusted the foot or so of knitting in her lap and set her needles, yarn and all, on the table. "So you haven't seen Mr. Egbert since he absconded from class, correct?"

"Yeah."

"Have you attempted to locate him?"

"Meh. I figure if the little bastard wanted to be found, we'd find him."

"I'm not so certain. Have you even called him?"

"Not yet."

"Perhaps you should. You remember what happened the last time Miss Serket got into his head?"

A look of disgust crossed his face. "Good point." He dug his phone out of his pocket, looped his headphones around his neck, and called John's number. As it rang, he allowed his eyes to wander over the room again, unseen through his sunglasses.

For a Monday, it was surprisingly empty. There were a few people scattered around the room—those two girls he vaguely recognized from around the campus (he thought one of them was named Aria but he could have been wrong), another girl who seemed Hell-bent on braiding her boyfriend's hair, another boy chatting on his phone—but no one he really knew besides Rose.

"Hello." John's voice was quiet, distant. Dave was immediately on alert.

"John. Hey, man. What's up?"

"Nothing."

The blond waited for a moment for John to continue, but when he realized he wasn't going to say anything else, a cold dread settled into his stomach. "What did Vris want?" he asked softly, sneaking a quick peek at Rose.

She was glancing between Dave and the more unfamiliar of the two girls he thought he sort-of recognized. She didn't show concern often, but the slope of her eyebrows hinted at it.

People often mistook Dave Strider and Rose Lalonde for siblings when they hung out together. They weren't related, but their blond hair typically confused strangers—although Dave still found it laughable since Rose bleached her hair. He'd never met an Asian, or even a half-Asian, with naturally blond hair. With her mixed heritage and his all-German ancestry, they couldn't be related any closer than perhaps half-siblings, and that was stretching it.

"She... she's transferring schools."

Dave was silent for a minute. "To where?"

"Here."

He sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. "I see. Is that all she said?"

"Basically, yeah."

Dave rubbed his forehead. "Where are you right now?"

"In front of the pool."

"O-kay," Dave said slowly, standing up. He hoisted his shoulder strap over his head and held his headphones out of the way so they didn't get messed up. Rose shot him a curious look as he said, "I'm heading over there. Just don't do anything insane for the next like ten minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. I'll be right there." For a second he tilted his head back and clenched and unclenched his fist, trying desperately to think of something else to say. When he couldn't, he ended with, "See you in a few minutes."

"Okay."

Dave hung up and pocketed his phone. "John says he's in front of the pool."

"What happened?"

"Right." Sometimes he forgot that Rose couldn't actually read minds—there was a big difference between clairvoyants and psychics, one that she'd tried to explain and that he couldn't really be bothered to remember. "Well, apparently Vriska is going to be coming to our school now."

"Hmm." She looked down for a moment, as if studying her knitting. "He's not going to do something stupid, if that's what you're worried about. There's someone with him. But you should still go see him. He needs a friend right now."

"He needs to learn how to ask for help."

Rose shot him a withering look. "He has a way of asking for help. A subtle way, so subtle that not even he realizes it. He's one of those people who think they can handle everything that comes their way without help, not because they're overly confident in themselves, but because they don't want sympathy. He has a way. You should know that by now."

He knew that Rose was right, but he also wouldn't admit it out loud. He exhaled sharply and headed off toward the pool, wondering how right her prediction would be this time.

* * *

Around twelve-forty-five, Sollux saw Eridan's car zip past him on the way back to school. Ampora neither slowed down or otherwise acknowledged his presence, and part of him was relieved by it, but he also felt a little disappointed for reasons he didn't bother to fathom. Sure, Eridan was hot and all (in a hipster douche kind of way), but Sollux was definitely not attracted to him. That was just ridiculous.

The look on his face after Sollux had doused him with soda was priceless, though. He wondered how steep the dry-cleaning bill for _that_ incident was going to be, and if Karkat was saying anything to try to smooth things over. Probably not, though. If anything, he would really just compound the situation.

Still, he couldn't help but think that maybe he'd overreacted a bit. He probably wouldn't have lost his cool like that if he'd still been on his medication.

_I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF. AMPORA IS BEYOND THE REALM OF PISSED AND HAS STARTED PLOTTING YOUR EXECUTION. SHALL I ARRANGE FOR A CANDLELIGHT HATE DATE?_

Sollux rolled his eyes. _That a22hole 2tarted iit actually two be more 2pecific you and TZ 2tarted iit._

_HOW DID I HAVE A DICKLICKING THING TO DO WITH ANYTHING?_

_You iin2ii2ted on "repayiing" me that'2 how and then you brought ED two._

_HE WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD GET THERE. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, WHORE MYSELF OUT FOR A RIDE?_

_Poiint taken but ii 2tiill hold blame wiith TZ 2he diidn't have two 2ay what 2he 2aiid._

_I GUESS NOT._

_Diid you know ED wa2 a biiphobe or what_

_HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I HAVE KNOWN? I HAVE LITERALLY ONE CLASS WITH THE ASSHOLE. IT'S NOT LIKE WE COMPARE NOTES ON WHO'S METAPHORICAL PANTS WE WANT TO GET INTO. HE'S NOT A FRIEND._

Sollux rolled his eyes again. _What diid you mean by "candleliight hate date" anyway_

_I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE SMART. I WAS IMPLYING THAT THE TWO OF YOU SEEM TO LOATHE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THAT IT WOULD BE A MATCH MADE IN HELL._

He groaned and resisted the temptation to throw his phone at the ground. It would do unsurprisingly little to ease his frustration and, in the long run, not fix any of his problems to decimate his primary means of communication. Still, the urge is there. _Well riight now ii would be really okay wiith kiilliing hiim 2o iit would be a 2hort-liived relatiionshiip._

_FEFERI IS HAVING WORDS WITH HIM ABOUT HIS "PREJUDICES." I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT HE'S NOT ALWAYS THIS MUCH OF AN OBNOXIOUS ASSCLOWN._

_Oh riight that make2 everythiing all better then._

Karkat didn't have an answer for that, so Sollux put his phone away and pulled out his iPod. At least he could listen to some decent music, unlike the dubstep crap Eridan had insisted on playing on the way over.

* * *

Dave hurried to the pool as fast as he could, a bright purple BMW cruising past him as he darted to the door, but when he got there, he thought he was too late at first. He looked around the entire perimeter of the pool and saw no one, but upon closer inspection, he noted with some relief that there were no bodies floating in the pool, John-sized or otherwise. He pulled out his phone and hit the redial button on John's number.

From a point behind him, up and to his right, he heard a tinny rendition of a familiar haunting refrain. He turned, following the source of the sound, and there was John sitting high up in the bleachers with...

Well, he certainly didn't recognize her. She was probably a student, but he'd never seen her before. For one wild second, he thought that maybe this was Vriska—but no, it couldn't be her. John sat with her like one does with a comfortable stranger, not someone who'd broken his heart countless times. Besides, Dave had a mental image of Vriska, and this girl looked too sweet to be her.

John was pawing through his backpack to locate his phone, but Dave just hung up. "Hey, John!"

"Dave!" John called excitedly, sounding a good deal more chipper than the last time they'd spoken. He waved enthusiastically. "Come on up!" He turned to the girl. "This is Dave, the buddy of mine I was telling you about."

The girl smiled at him and, somehow, he couldn't help but smile back. It was a decidedly un-cool-kid thing to do, but he couldn't stop himself. She had a really nice smile.

Dave carefully picked his way up the steps and across the bleachers, settling himself on John's other side. He decided not to say anything until John did—he'd already fucked up his cool-kid persona once today, and he certainly wasn't about to do it again.

Fortunately, John had appeared to resume his chatty self. "Dave, this is Feferi. She just got here a few minutes ago."

Dave nodded coolly as Feferi smiled at him again. He was grateful, not for the first time and not for the last time, that his shades were impossible to see through. She looked like a queen and it was making him feel a little unsettled.

"Hey, John, since your friend is here now, I'm gonna go practice, okay?"

John nodded. "Sure, go ahead. We'll watch your stuff for you."

"Thanks!" Without a moment of hesitation, Feferi stood up and stripped off her shirt and skirt to reveal a black one-piece bathing suit. She unhooked a pair of goggles from her backpack, strapped them over her eyes, and darted down to the pool. As if she were some kind of mermaid, she dove right in and crossed to the other side in seconds.

"So," Dave started once he realized he'd been watching Feferi for a little longer than necessary. "How're you feeling with the whole Vriska situation?"

John chewed on his lip for a few moments before responding. "I'm not sure. Feferi was able to make me feel a little better about it, saying I probably won't be seeing her all that much, but... I don't know. Now that she's gonna actually be at school with us... she's not really gonna go away, is she?"

"Probably not, man. Maybe that's part of growing up—dealing with shit we'd rather not. Shit, we're gonna be twenty-one soon. Maybe it's time to start dealing."

John let out a groan and slumped back against the bleachers. "Growing up _sucks_."

"Preaching to the choir. I don't know how Rose handles it."

After dropping off Feferi at the pool and Karkat and Terezi in front of the cafeteria, Eridan parked and sat in his car, just seething. Where the fuck did Sollux Captor get off, humiliating him like that in front of _everyone_? What an over-dramatic little prick. He had half a mind to find him, wherever he was on the street, and give him a good old-fashioned beatdown.

But that was too blunt. A battle of wits had just begun, and if he was going to best Captor, he would have to be subtle about it.

A course of action forming itself in his head, he felt himself calming down. He'd come out on top. No one humiliated an Ampora and got away with it.

The first order of business was to go home and shower, though. His hair was getting sticky and he needed a different shirt at least.

Imagining the clarion calls of war were sounding, he pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to Cronus's apartment.


	8. Act 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a special place in Heaven for people who leave AO3 comments.

The one thing Eridan liked about being at Cronus's apartment during the day was Cronus not actually being home. Sure, the place still stank like him and his weed, and there was the other traces of Cronus's presence, but the man himself wasn't there, and that was always enough to make Eridan breathe a little easier.

His fingers itched to pull the trigger on a bottle of Febreeze he had stashed in his wardrobe but he had no doubt that his brother would come home and be pissed. Something about "messing with the vibe" or some other capricious bullshit that no doubt made sense to Cronus but no one else. Letting out a sigh of resignation, he went to his room and deposited his bag on his bed.

He gathered up his towel and a clean change of clothes (not even his jeans had escaped the fallout from the soda; his pant legs stuck to his thighs uncomfortably) and cast a considering glance around his room. The one window he had in his room had his desk wedged right underneath it. There was enough of a sill on the window to line up a number of books he'd read at least a dozen times, but there was still a solid three feet of space left. He'd been trying to decide for awhile what to do with that extra space but now, as he sat at the edge of his bed and just looked for a minute, he realized he wanted a fish tank there. He could probably keep about three or four fish in there comfortably, and they'd be safe by themselves for the weekends, providing Cronus didn't break into his room and try to poison them.

That thought gave him pause. His brother wasn't a malicious asshole, but sometimes he did things when he was stoned that he ended up regretting later on. Eridan chewed on his lip, but he'd already gotten his heart set on a couple of fish.

 _I can bring them home on weekends. Get my own tank there. That way he won't kill them._ During the day he wouldn't be so worried—Cronus had his own schedule and usually got home around a half an hour before him. That wasn't a huge window of time for him to get to a mind-altering state where he destroyed things. Besides, he really hadn't displayed a tendency to go into his room anyway. It would work.

After a far shorter shower than he would have liked (only twenty minutes instead of his typical hour, although not that much of him was sticky with soda, so he didn't need to scrub his whole body), he wrapped a towel around his waist and headed straight to the mirror. He frowned at his hair (every day it seemed like he saw more of his brown roots, and yeah, they weren't really noticeable to anyone but him except where the purple streak was, but that was the _point—_ he dyed his hair because he wanted to, not because anyone else thought it was cool) and dried it off as quickly as he could before haphazardly restyling it. He shimmied into his change of clothes and exited the bathroom, dropping his soda-messed apparel into his laundry basket. He considered fishing out another scarf from his wardrobe but decided against it. He didn't want to risk Captor trying to ruin another one.

He'd swapped out his black T-shirt for a purple-and-blue plaid patterned one (he didn't typically wear plaid _or_ flannel, but it was a button-down and he'd been in a rush to just style his hair and get dressed without fucking it up, so plaid button-down shirt it was) and his blue jeans for black ones, and it looked like this was as good as it was going to get. Besides, after a heart-stopping glance at his phone's clock, he realized he only had twenty minutes before his next class. It would take at least ten minutes to get to school and another five to find somewhere to park, so the odds of him being on time were slim to none.

He shoved his glasses back onto his face and headed out the door.

* * *

He was right about being late for class. Two minutes before class started, he was just pulling into a parking spot near the building his class was in—in this case, "near" being a word that meant "separated by five hundred yards of grass, two awkward rock sculptures, and one particularly garish gazebo." He knew he would never make that distance in two minutes unless he dashed, and he had his computer and his camera in his bag to worry about. Nope, no sense jostling the electronics in his mad dash to avoid futility.

The walk, however, afforded him ample time to plot his revenge on a certain bespectacled computer nerd. The first idea that came to mind was stealing Captor's laptop, but this seemed to be in poor taste considering the first act of war hadn't involved thievery and he didn't want this to escalate to nuclear proportions within hours. No, he'd save that for when he'd done something to _really_ piss him off, like slash his tires (although he doubted Sollux had the upper-body strength for that).

His second idea was finding some way to break his glasses, although, again, it seemed like trying to kill a fly with a crossbow. Besides, the retaliation for that might end up being the destruction of his _own_ glasses, and there was literally no way in Hell he could drive if he didn't have his glasses. That wouldn't do, either.

He wondered if Karkat would help him think of something, but he rejected the prospect almost immediately. Karkat was Sollux's friend, and besides, revenge wouldn't be as sweet if it had come from someone else's idea.

 _Sweet._ An idea began brewing at the back of his head. He'd seen Sollux empty nearly half of that bear full of honey into his tea... He'd have to monitor closely, but he was pretty sure he didn't see anyone near it besides him. That could afford an interesting possibility for retribution.

By the time he sidled through the door to his photography class, he had the beginnings of a well-laid plan mapped out in his head. He just needed another day or two to implement it.

He slunk into the classroom a solid eight minutes after the start of class. After an apologetic wave at his professor, he took a seat near the back and pulled out his computer. He glanced up briefly to see one of his classmates giving him a puzzled look. He mouthed, "What?" at her and waited as she scribbled something on a sheet of paper, folded it over several times, and passed it to the student behind her with a curt nod in Eridan's direction.

_You Appear To Have Had A Change In Wardrobe Since I Saw You Last._

He let out an exasperated scoff and hunched over the paper. _Someone thought it wwas—_ damn it, his hand shook so badly it doubled his Ws; it was bad enough he stuttered in real life, but he didn't need to do it in text, too— _funny to spill soda on me during lunch. I had to go home an change._ He folded the sheet up again and passed it back.

The response came a few minutes later, after their teacher finished collecting the projects they'd been assigned the previous Wednesday. _I Would Assume This Is The Reason For Your Tardiness?_

 _You assume right. But it's no big deal since I'm plottin my revvenge—_ fuck, he did it again!— _as I wwrite—_ he was really going to have to work on his penmanship; this was just ridiculous— _this. It'll be cold an just._

When the reply skittered onto his desk nearly ten minutes later, he was half-asleep and only pretending to be working on their next assignment. _Excellent. I Congratulate You And Applaud Your Cunning. I Wish You The Greatest Of Fortune In Your Endeavors._

He smirked, letting out a snort of laughter that, fortunately, he had the presence of mind to muffle into his collar and pass off as a sneeze. He shoved the note into his back pocket and tried to wake himself up, but it was proving more difficult than he'd hoped.

Eridan typically had mental crashes around this time, but he also normally was able to stop at Starbucks (or the campus coffee shop, if he was pressed for time) and pick up some caffeine, so it wasn't usually this big of a problem. The last time he'd had any coffee was this morning, though, and he was ready for either a nap or another shot of espresso. Hell, he was almost desperate enough to get a bottle of soda out of the vending machines even though it was his personal policy to avoid any drinks besides water or coffee-related ones. He didn't even drink tea—not enough of a jolt for him. There was a reason he brewed his coffee with twice the typical concentration (causing Cronus to either gag or water it down with about eight creamers). No matter how much sleep he got every night, he needed caffeine around two-thirty in the afternoon.

How the Hell was he expected to function right now when he could barely keep his eyes open?

He blinked slowly, the whiteboard at the front of the room drifting in and out of focus, when out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he saw a familiar yellow shirt. He was immediately alert, focusing his gaze in the direction he thought he saw Captor, but either he'd simply imagined the other boy, or Sollux had absconded surprisingly quickly. Eridan nearly groaned in frustration.

However, the imagined or actual presence of the guy who was quickly becoming his arch-rival (at least in his own head) had shaken him awake. Now, at least, he had an idea of how to keep himself conscious. As he plugged his camera into his laptop and started up Photoshop, he began simmering his plan for taking revenge. By the time class was dismissed at four, he had a fully-formed plan and an execution day of Wednesday.

Sollux Captor wouldn't know what hit him. At first.

* * *

After class, the first thing he did was head for the school coffee shop and get the largest, most caffeinated drink they had. Coffee in hand, he went back to his car and parked in front of the building that Feferi's last class of the day was in to wait for her. Normally, he had to wait a half an hour or so, but his trip across campus and subsequent wait shaved twenty-five minutes off his wait time. He'd only had a few swigs of coffee when the door popped open and she slid in, tossing her backpack into the backseat. "Hey, Eridan!" Then she got a good look at his clothes and the coffee and shot him a confused look. "What the glub happened to you?"

"I had to go home an' show-wer an' change my clothes. It made me late for class so I couldn't get my coffee."

She sighed. "It wasn't that much soda, fish," she said, "fish" being a nickname for him that she only used when she was trying to be gentle. "You would have been fin— _fine_ ," she corrected herself, shooting a small smile at him in apology.

"It w-was in my _hair_ ," he snapped. He immediately regretted his harsh tone when she glanced down at her lap. "Sorry," he murmured. "I'm just a li'l annoyed is all. I'm not mad at you."

"You had it coming," Feferi chided gently, affectionately ruffling his hair.

He didn't agree with her and he didn't like people touching his hair when it had product in it, but he closed his eyes and let himself enjoy it anyway. She didn't seem to hate him; they were still friends. He briefly considered bringing up the "I like you as more than friends" conversation he'd been meaning to have with her, but decided against it at the last minute. It wasn't the right time, and he still wasn't ready to lose her for good if she didn't feel the same way. It might actually kill him.

"I guess," he mumbled in a way meant to be placating, but she saw through it immediately.

"No," she said firmly.

"No, w-what?" He started his car and put it in drive, buckling up his seat belt to avoid looking at her.

"You better not be planning some kind of revenge trick on him!"

"Hadn't ev-ven crossed my mind," he said lightly.

She crossed her arms over her chest and settled back into her seat. "Alright, whale..." She giggled for a moment and then cleared her throat, her tone becoming serious. "You remember Vriska Serket?"

Automatically, his fingers tightened on the steering wheel. Did he _remember_ her? Of course he did. Hoping his face didn't betray his emotions, he nodded quickly.

"Whale, I found out from someone today that she's transferring here."

He didn't know how he managed to speak with the lump in his throat. "W-when?"

"Not sure. Soon, I think. Probably in the next bubble of weeks."

"Ah. How-w did you find out?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice neutral, but he was pretty sure his stutter was starting to betray him.

"One of her ex-boyfronds was very upset and he explained it to me."

"Not surprised. She's bad new-ws."

Fef nodded. "I think things are about to get very interesting around here."


	9. Act 9

As he usually did on Mondays and Wednesdays after his Creative Writing class, Sollux went to the library to work on what little homework he'd been assigned (his Coding instructor seldom left them with work he couldn't finish before he left class and Calculus was ridiculously easy, but Chemistry tended to be a bit of a pain in the ass) so he didn't have to worry about it when he got home. His Chemistry class was only on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so he usually waited until the day before to do that homework anyway. He typically hid in one of the far corners, near the photography books and away from his fellow students, although sometimes he'd see Gamzee working away in another corner.

That kid always confused the holy Hell out of him. Some days, he was convinced Gamzee was an idiot, and other days, he was sure he was a certified genius. Sollux didn't see him often, but when he did, he usually had a stack of books surrounding him and ICP blaring out of his headphones. He had no idea how Gamzee was able to work with that noise in his head, but Sollux needed quiet, which was the whole point of coming to the library in the first place.

Although, he had to admit, if he had Karkat Vantas as a roommate, anything would be a relief.

He chuckled to himself and then immediately felt guilty. Their falling-out, if it could be called that, hadn't just been Karkat's fault. It took two people to let a friendship die. Sometimes he grew wistful for their inseparable middle-school and high-school days. Sure, the other boy yelled a lot and generally acted like an asshole, but he was loyal to his friends. He'd never done or said anything to intentionally hurt him—not if it was what he needed to hear. And, yeah, he'd needed to hear a lot of stuff he didn't necessarily want to ("FUCK JESUS, SOLLUX, YOU CANNOT GO TO SENIOR PROM IN JEANS!"), and Karkat had been the only one to tell him.

And now Gamzee was the one on the receiving end of Karkat's tough love, something he probably needed. Sollux had seen Gamzee in their first few months here, and he had been astonished to see how skinny the other boy had been. He thought _he_ looked malnourished—compared to Gamzee, he looked chunky. He was only two inches taller than Gamzee, but at first, he probably had about twenty pounds on the guy. Now, at least, Gamzee looked to be at a healthy weight. Once, back when Sollux and Karkat had been on friendlier terms, he'd asked about Gamzee's home life. Karkat hadn't volunteered much. "He has a brother. I don't know his name." That was literally it.

Sollux wondered a little bit, though. Common sense would tell him that a guy who'd clearly had such a hard time growing up as Gamzee would be rude or antisocial (at least, more antisocial than him, who wouldn't have gone out to lunch with four other people unless he'd been forced) or something, but he always seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He took all of Karkat's verbal abuse (mostly in affection) with a smile on his face, and it was a bit unnerving.

Finally, though, he dismissed it and decided to get to his own homework instead of wondering about some guy he barely knew.

When he'd finished his homework, he pulled his glasses off his face and rubbed his eyes. He stretched back in his seat, glancing at his phone, and saw that he'd been working for almost two hours; it was nearly five-thirty. He covered a yawn with the back of his hand and blinked slowly.

Suddenly, he squinted. He couldn't see six feet past the bridge of his nose, but he was pretty sure he saw a flash of purple past one of the shelves—and not Gamzee's favored dark, nearly-blue purple. This looked like the purple in Eridan Ampora's hair or eyes—even though he _knew_ those were contacts, they had to be—but the flash of color was too big to be either. It looked almost like a shirt, and he scrambled to put his glasses back on to see.

By the time he did so, though, whoever it was had escaped from view.

 _It couldn't have been him_ , Sollux realized. Eridan had been wearing a black shirt when Sollux had doused him with soda. He remembered that clearly. Still, something about the situation nagged at him until he threw his Chemistry book back into his backpack and started to weave between the rows of shelves, hunting that flash of purple he'd caught. He wasn't sure _why_ he couldn't just let it go—he just knew he couldn't.

He left the back room of the library, scanned what little of it he could see through the doorway before dismissing the two other people in the room—Gamzee, who was in black, and some girl he didn't know in olive-green—and turning around to begin his foray in the main room.

He stopped almost immediately, though. Twenty feet in front of him, his profile to Sollux, was Eridan Ampora. He'd changed his clothes, because he wore black jeans now and a purple plaid shirt that, reticent as he was to admit it, fit him well. It looked incredibly soft and for a second, he wanted to reach out and feel it for himself. He caught himself, though. It was definitely the same shirt he'd seen in the back room out of the corner of his eye, but he still wasn't sure how he'd seen the color and automatically associated it with Ampora. That was madness to the twelfth degree.

Eridan, fortunately, hadn't noticed him yet. He seemed intent on his book, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his pointed nose. Everything about his face seemed angular, thin, sharp. Even his lips were on the thin side, but not unpleasantly so. Maybe because he wore it well, carrying himself like a prince even though he was just some rich hipster kid.

He felt half of him sneer inwardly in disgust. This asshole hated him, and even though he could definitely see himself licking the back of his neck and finding out what his moans sounded like, he knew it would never happen. Besides, he wasn't a slave to his hormones, even if it _had_ been an embarrassingly long time since he'd last gotten laid. Just because he found someone infuriatingly attractive didn't mean he'd lose sleep or his head over it or act like a complete moron.

Even though that was basically what he was doing now. Sollux realized he was still standing in the doorway between the two rooms and essentially creeping on Eridan. Resisting the near-overwhelming urge to smack his forehead, he shifted his backpack, put his head down, and hurried out of the library, past Ampora, before the other boy could catch sight of him.

Apparently not fast enough, though, because he could have sworn he heard Ampora call, "Hey!" in a tone that was neither friendly nor unfriendly. He didn't stop to find out. He just charged through the automatic doors and into the dry heat of the early evening.

Once he got to the bus stop, he remembered his ear buds and felt like an even bigger idiot. They would have given him the perfect excuse to ignore Eridan. _Oh, well._ He fished them out of his backpack, plugged them into his phone, and turned on his music as he waited for the bus. He looked up every so often out of slight suspicion and curiosity, half-paranoid that he'd see that purple BMW of Eridan's coming toward him—although why Ampora would search him out was beyond him. He pushed the idea out of his head; it wouldn't make sense and he didn't pay attention to things that didn't make sense. External things, anyway.

Five minutes before the bus arrived, the blond boy from this morning swung into view. His headphones were over his ears now, his glasses still completely obscuring his eyes. He seemed absorbed in his phone, although his stride was surefooted and confident.

 _Stride. Strider. Dave Strider. That_ was his name, Sollux was sure of it now. He was fairly certain he was a friend of Karkat's, but he didn't know how he knew it except that somehow, he knew this guy's name. He didn't think Aradia would necessarily be friends with him, although he supposed he could have been friends with Terezi. Either way, Dave only glanced at him to acknowledge his presence—at least, Sollux _thought_ Dave glanced at him; it was hard to tell with the sunglasses—and sat down on the opposite end of the bench.

Eridan Ampora's car never swung into sight. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or not.

* * *

Sollux was standing by the doors of the bus two stops before his own, waiting to jump off. He was paranoid about public transportation, sure that people were always watching him. It wasn't as bad when he was at school because at least then he was surrounded by college students who were wrapped up in their own little worlds, but off-campus, out in actual _public_ , he was convinced they could see through him, that they could tell without even hearing him speak that he had a lisp or that they knew he had mismatched eyes. The logical part of him told him there was nothing wrong with having heterochromia or a speech impediment (and God, he hated to even think of it like that because it made him sound retarded or something) or bipolar disorder or even all three together, but the irrational, louder part of him called him a freak and wouldn't let him forget it. He was surprised he even had any friends—somehow, it wasn't obvious on the outside just how much of a mess he was on the inside, but there had to be something to give it away, something that would warn the world away from even getting involved in the wreck that was Sollux Captor's precious little life.

Terezi liked to make fun of him, though—he knew it wasn't meant in earnest, but sometimes it cut him deeper than he admitted. Aradia was nice to _everyone—_ her friendship with him was nearly a given, although he wondered if they would have even gotten this close if he hadn't tutored her though French I their first semester. Karkat had ditched him for Gamzee—that had been his fault, too, but Karkat had made that final cut. Apart from them, he realized he didn't really have friends.

Maybe Eridan hated everything about him because he could sense he hated everything about himself.

Sollux visibly flinched, praying no one saw him—of course they saw him, he was standing right by the freaking door—but they were probably too preoccupied with their phones or something to notice him, his rational side reminded him quietly—but it was true. If anyone else talked to him like he talked to himself, he would hate them for eternity.

 _Maybe I do need to go back on my meds._ He felt the crushing weight of a depressive low coming on, still somehow less debilitating than his manic highs. He didn't want to go back on his medication, though. He'd been doing better the last few months. Besides, as long as all the negativity in his head stayed there and he didn't hurt himself again, what difference would it make? He could handle the quiet taunting of his inner demons.

As soon as the bus doors opened at his stop, he hopped off and headed down the street toward his apartment building. He sensed before he heard footsteps behind him, and he surreptitiously glanced over his shoulder. Dave was coming up behind him, along with another, slightly-taller blond boy who could have been his brother. Dave referred to him as "bro," anyway. Their voices carried across the short distance between where he stood by the door to the building and where they were walking.

Then again, it might not have meant anything at all. He had classmates who called their friends "bro" all the time. Still, they looked so much alike that he was willing to bet it was actually the case. They both even wore sunglasses, although the taller one's sunglasses were pointed. _Anime shades_ , his brain supplied helpfully.

In his apartment, he went to the fridge and unwrapped two slices of leftover pizza. His stomach rumbled, but in a way that almost seemed obligatory ( _yes, I'm hungry and you know I'm hungry, but let me just remind you_ ) as he stuck the pizza in the microwave and nuked them for forty-five seconds. It seemed like longer than six hours since he'd eaten last.

He ended up eating his pizza in front of his computer, playing _Portal_ for the hundredth time, and by the time he finished dinner, it was time for him to go to sleep if he wanted to be up in time for class (which started at eight-thirty tomorrow). He sighed, shut down his computer, and washed and put away his plate (as well as the one from breakfast, which he'd left in the sink) as fast as he could. After that, he took out his contact lens, popped his sleeping pills, and crawled into bed. He had a feeling tomorrow was going to be a long, annoying day. Then again, Tuesdays usually were.


	10. Act 10

Sollux woke slowly, a strange song penetrating his sleep. That definitely wasn't the alarm he set on his phone. Not his normal alarm, anyway. No, that Shinedown song was—

"Shit!" he yelped, sitting bolt upright. He scrambled out of bed to silence his "last chance" alarm—as in, his last chance to get to school on time. It was seven-fifty, and he had forty minutes until his first class—Web Design—began. In a flurry, he grabbed the first clean pair of jeans and shirt he could find, shoved his glasses on, struggled into his shoes and socks, grabbed his backpack, and flew out the door. He didn't bother waiting for the elevator. He simply charged down the three flights of stairs.

He dashed to the bus stop, making it just seconds before the bus pulled up to the curb. As soon as he was sitting, he allowed himself to breathe. The bus would make it to his campus stop in about twenty minutes if traffic was good, twenty-five if it sucked. It was seven-fifty-four right now, meaning he had anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes to make it to class from the bus stop. That was just barely time.

He didn't call it his "last chance" alarm for nothing. It was literally his last chance. He wouldn't even have time to see Aradia before class. Frowning, he pulled out his phone and sent her a text. _AA, ii woke up late thii2 morniing 2o iill 2ee you after cla22 iim on the bu2 riight now but ii thiink iill make iit._

The bus was ten minutes away from campus when her reply arrived. _thanks f0r letting me kn0w. i h0pe the rest 0f y0ur m0rning g0es m0re sm00thly._

* * *

Aradia didn't _hate_ text-messaging, but she preferred other methods of communication. Sollux, she knew, had hang-ups about talking on the phone, and so she didn't make a fuss when he insisted on texting her everything. Since he was on the bus right now, she understood his desire to text more so than otherwise. Public transportation was no place to have a phone conversation.

Still, Kanaya had already gone to her class and her own class didn't start until nine-thirty, so there was nothing for her to do except wait. Jade was nowhere to be found—she hadn't seen Jade since last week, although her absence wasn't exactly uncommon; the girl sometimes went right to the library in between classes and then straight home, and Aradia knew that if she wanted to be found, she would be—so Aradia decided to use her free time to make some decent headway into _A Game of Thrones_. She'd been meaning to re-read the books in their entirety (such as they were, considering there was still at least one more to be written) for awhile and even brought the first book with her, but she hadn't gotten a chance to re-read it. Not yet. But she could now.

She was so used to having at least one other person around her at all times—Damara at home, Kanaya or Sollux or both at school, sometimes Terezi when the mood struck her, or Jade when she could be dragged out of the library or from her grandfather's house—that being alone at her little table in the corner made her feel very small. That, too, was odd, considering she was six feet tall. _Small_ was not an adjective one applied to Aradia Megido. It was strange to not have someone chattering at her. True, Kanaya spoke eloquently, as did Sollux when he could be roused to talk, but she missed the sound of voices besides her own.

She kept glancing up every so often to look around the cafeteria, her restless brown eyes skimming the other students. There by the windows were two people, a boy and a girl, who he'd seen talking with Sollux yesterday. She didn't know either of them, but the girl wore a pink skirt and the boy had a streak of purple in his dark hair. Separated from them by several tables was another couple, but they weren't at a table themselves (rather, they seemed tucked into another corner by themselves). The tiny girl was perched, half on a ledge and half on the shoulders of the boy, who easily cleared six feet tall. Exposed by the sleeveless black shirt he wore, his massive biceps bulged like oversized softballs. He appeared not to notice the way the other girl played with his hair, gathering it from his bangs, combing it back with her fingers, and braiding it. Aradia blinked when she saw how long his dark hair really was. It seemed to fall halfway down his back.

The tiny girl scrunched up her face in concentration as she worked. She leaned back for a moment, putting her hand—or, rather, her sleeve—to her chin before pushing her sleeves up to almost her elbows and continuing to braid. Her sleeves, heedless of the unspoken command to stay, fell back down again almost immediately, but she ignored them.

The boy adjusted the sunglasses perched on his nose, obscuring his eyes, and murmured something to the girl. Her hands faltered as she began looking around. Aradia saw her lips form the word, "Where?" She couldn't tell how he responded, but as the girl began scanning the room with more purpose, Aradia looked down at her book. When she peeked up again about thirty seconds later, both the girl and the boy were looking at her. At least, she _thought_ he was looking at her—the sunglasses he wore made it exceedingly difficult to tell where had his gaze focused. She blushed—even with the sunglasses, he was quite classically handsome with noble-looking features and dark skin, and she had been caught staring at him and his girlfriend—but as she started to look back down again, the other girl waved excitedly, motioning for her to join them. The boy turned slightly and said something, causing the other girl to kick at his pectorals with her heels.

Aradia tossed her book into her backpack and slunk over to the pair, looking as sheepish as possible. She hoped she wasn't about to be branded a creeper. "Sorry," she said the moment she was within earshot. "I didn't—"

"Hi!" the girl said happily, ignoring her apology. She leaped off the boy's shoulders—now that she was on her own feet, Aradia could see that she really was quite short, only about four inches taller now than the boy was now, still sitting—and tugged Aradia closer. She wasn't quite sure where her hand had darted out from, since she could only see olive-green sleeve. The other girl motioned to a chair a few feet from the boy. "What's your name?" she asked, still smiling brightly.

"Um. Aradia. Look, I didn't mean—"

"Nonsense! I'm Nepeta!" she said, bounding back over to the boy and climbing onto his back again. Aradia had a feeling that just about everything she said had exclamation points. "This is Equius!" Nepeta added. The boy, heedless of her additional weight, again pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose. Now that Aradia was closer to them, she could see that his sunglasses appeared to be cracked in several places, and that they kept sliding down his face due to a light sheen of perspiration. Equius flexed his fingers at her in what she interpreted to be a wave. She blushed a bit and hoped it went unnoticed.

"Hi," she said shyly, looking from Nepeta to Equius.

Nepeta resumed braiding his hair but remained quiet. Equius sighed heavily. "I apologize for my companion. She tends to be... incorrigible," he said, and suddenly, Aradia had to fight the urge to smile. He had a deep, soothing voice and a surprisingly formal way of speaking, not unlike how Kanaya spoke. It was pleasant.

"It's fine," she said instead. "I really didn't mean to stare, though."

Nepeta scoffed in a good-natured way. "But we're _purr_ fectly interesting!" she said. Aradia realized that the blue hat jammed down over her untidy blond hair was actually in the likeness of a cat's face. Nepeta appeared to have a fondness for all things related to cats, considering the hat and the cat pun. "Besides, Equius doesn't have nearly enough _furr_ iends!"

"I'm sure you have plenty," Aradia started soothingly, but the boy shook his head ever so slightly so as not to unseat Nepeta.

"I fear Nepeta is correct. While she is my closest friend, I have few others. I believe... I put people off."

"That seems a little hard to believe." Aradia was well-aware that she was starting to _flirt_ with Equius, but considering he'd described Nepeta as a _friend_ and a _companion_ , and she'd said nothing to correct him, she felt herself relaxing a bit. _Maybe he's gay. Or maybe he wants to be more than friends with her and she doesn't realize it. Or she does and she's trying to shake his interest._ Still, she pushed those thoughts down. They were none of her business.

"They just don't understand," Nepeta sighed, but with a fond smile at the top of his head. "People think he's big and mean and scary, but he's really just a big kitten!" she added. Meanwhile, her hands never stopped moving, deft fingers twisting Equius's dark hair into one cohesive braid. She scooted back so that all of her weight was on the ledge before hopping off and standing, moving farther down his back. After a moment, she reappeared with a triumphant smile. "Done!"

Equius hadn't flinched once in the process that Aradia had seen. Whether it was a testament to Nepeta's gentleness or his pain threshold, she didn't know for sure. Either way, the braid suited him well. It brought out the edges of his face and Aradia found herself blushing again.

"So," Nepeta went on, oblivious to the silence. She hopped back onto the ledge—or, rather, climbed from Equius's arm to his shoulder before seating herself back on the ledge. Then the crossed her arms and propped them up on his head, using them to support herself. "What have you been doing today?"

"Well, I normally spend the mornings with Kanaya or Sollux—"

"Sollux Captor?" Equius asked abruptly.

"Yeah, do you know him?"

"He's in my coding class on Mondays and Wednesdays," he said.

"Who's he?!" Nepeta asked excitedly, leaning farther over Equius's head. "Your boy _furr_ iend?!"

"Nepeta," Equius said warningly, but she _shoosh_ ed him. She seemed genuinely interested, and not in a "I want to hook you up with my best friend" kind of way.

"No, I'm single. And nothing against him, but he's not exactly my type," she added. When Nepeta tilted her head to the side, she realized what that sounded like and waved her hands in embarrassment and frustration. "But I'm not a lesbian!" she added quickly. Nepeta tilted her head to the other side, the sphinx-like expression on her face never changing. "Not that there's anything wrong with that! My friend Kanaya is a lesbian," she said, wishing the floor would swallow her up. "You know, you can stop me from talking anytime now..."

Nepeta let out a shrill giggle. "But it's so a _mews_ ing to listen to you ramble!"

Aradia groaned and completely covered her face. "I'm just trying not to come off as a total creeper."

"You're not a creeper! I think you're sweet!"

"Well, what about you?" Aradia asked in an almost challenging tone. "Are either of you dating anyone?"

Equius merely shook his head, but Nepeta said, "Nope! I'm far more interested in my own shipping, anyway!"

"Shipping?" she asked, but Equius shook his head again, with more vigor now. She couldn't be sure, but she thought he saw his eyes widen.

Nepeta ignored it, though. "Yep! People who I think would be im _paws_ ibly adorable together! Like those two over there—" She motioned over Aradia's shoulder, to the two she'd seen talking to Sollux the day before. "They're friends, he likes her a lot, she's clueless! They'd be cute, but... I think they're too alike! They wouldn't be good for each other! Equius, on the other hand—"

"Nepeta," Equius said again. "Don't you have class soon?"

"Huh?" Nepeta shook back her sleeve to check her watch. "Oh, no! I gotta go!" She grabbed her backpack out of nowhere, hopped off Equius's shoulders, and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. "Bye, Aradia! See you later, Equius! And if you don't get her number, I'll put you in a headlock!" she added mischievously, already scampering away.

Equius seemed to blush for a second, but he hid it by pushing his glasses up. "Again, my sincerest apologies for her. I had hoped she would behave herself, but that appears to be against her nature."

"Oh, I don't mind. I wish my friends were half as chatty as her. Sometimes I get tired of my own voice."

"She certainly speaks enough for three," he admitted with a small smile.

"She cares about you a lot."

"She and I have been through much together," he said almost wistfully. "We..." Suddenly, he seemed to remember himself. "My apologies. I don't wish to bore you."

"I don't mind at all," she said, drawing her knees up to her chest and smiling at him.

He cleared his throat. "Very well. We've known each other since we were in first grade, you see. However, we didn't know each other very well until the third grade. We were on a class trip, and the bus... flipped on its side." He faltered for a minute, and Aradia nearly told him that he didn't have to continue, but he found his voice again. "She was seated next to me and I caught her before she hit the window, thereby preventing her from sustaining serious injury. Other classmates were not so fortunate... one girl lost an eye from the broken glass, and another boy required the use of a wheelchair for the next several years. Very fortunately, no one was killed. But from that day, we have been best friends. Her parents were grateful to me, and she was always very friendly, so my parents did not object. I can hardly remember a time when I did not know her, it seems now."

"That was really brave," Aradia said, unable to keep the awed tone out of her voice.

Equius just shook his head. "It was fortune. If it had been someone else sitting next to me, I might have ended up with a different best friend. For what it's worth, I'm glad it was her, though. I have been lucky to have her in my life."

"I'd say she's been pretty lucky to have you, too."

He appeared to think it over. "I suppose so."

"Look, I have to go to class, too, but..." She scrounged in her backpack for a scrap of paper and a pen and quickly scribbled her name and number on it. She handed it to him with a grin. "I don't want her to put you in a headlock. Have a good day, Equius," she said cheerfully, and quickly bounded out of the cafeteria.

As she left, she thought she saw the shadow of a smile on his face.


	11. Act 11

Eridan woke well before his alarm on Tuesday morning, so he allowed himself a few lazy minutes to close his eyes and not think about anything.

Naturally, the first thought that floated to the surface of his mind related to Sollux Captor, and he made a face. Now that he'd slept on it, though, the idea of revenge seemed less appealing. It was frankly childish, if he was going to admit it. Still, he almost felt honor-bound to do _something_ , especially after the incident in the library.

He'd dropped Feferi off at her apartment building, he backtracked to campus for a book he'd been meaning to check out of the library. His Photography instructor had recommended it a few weeks back, so he'd hoped the clamor for it would have died down and he wouldn't be fighting nineteen other people for the same book.

As it turned out, he'd made the smart decision. He located it quickly in the back room of the library and flipped it open, pleased to see that the book had been checked back in that very day. _Perfect._ Nose already buried between the pages, his feet somehow found their way out of the back room and to the main area of the library, and he scurried to the first table he could find.

It was only ten minutes later that he saw a flash of color at the peripherals of his vision—a mustard yellow, the exact color of the shirt Sollux Captor had been wearing that day—and he looked up. Sure enough, the taller boy was slinking past him, his slim frame hunched and his head bowed low as if to avoid attracting attention. Unbidden, he heard himself call, "Hey!" although what he would have said had Sollux actually acknowledged him, he didn't know. Maybe he just wanted another look at his sworn enemy's dark brown eyes—one seemed slightly darker than the other, but he couldn't tell if it was just his imagination or an actual thing. But it didn't matter, because Captor ignored him, gliding right out of the sliding doors as though purposefully avoiding him.

There was no way he didn't see _or_ hear him. Sollux's slight had been deliberate, and he felt a muscle in his jaw twitch at the memory. He wasn't sure _why_ Sollux Captor annoyed him so much—all he knew was that he _did_. It didn't matter, he supposed. Captor had insulted his honor. That deserved retribution.

The thought spurred Eridan out of bed, and he untangled himself from his sheets. The clock on his bedside table read 6:14. Half of him wanted to flop back into bed and sleep for another hour, but the other half of him knew if he did, he wouldn't be able to get back up. Reluctantly, he stripped his sheets and tossed them in his laundry basket, making a mental note to head to the apartment's laundry room as soon as he got home from school that day. He sure as Hell didn't trust Cronus to do his laundry—he wasn't even sure when his brother even _did_ laundry.

He grabbed his towel, shampoo, and conditioner, and headed to the bathroom for an extra-long shower. His hair didn't need scrubbing but he did it anyway—he'd probably be dyeing his hair come Friday anyway, so it didn't matter how much it faded over the next four days. He'd have to tell Fef, though. She always had to help him out with the purple streak. It was a commitment to have multicolored hair, one he could have easily discarded by dyeing over the purple with black (black covered everything, as he knew with relief from that one ill-fated attempt to dye the whole right half of his hair purple), but he liked the streak. He would feel strange without it.

As soon as he dried his hair, he got dressed in dark blue jeans (that hugged his ass rather nicely, if he said so himself), a purple T-shirt, and a black button-down shirt that he left half-unbuttoned, and went back to the bathroom to style it, noting that he still hadn't heard sounds from Cronus's room. That didn't exactly surprise him, since his brother was usually rolling out of bed as he was leaving for school, but it still unnerved him to _feel_ alone but not actually _be_ alone.

He made a face in the mirror as he set to work with the gel. _Alone._ He'd dreamed last night, but he couldn't remember of what. He had the feeling that _alone_ had some part of it, so he mentally picked at it until nearly seven-thirty, when he went to the kitchen for his coffee. He still couldn't remember his dream, but the scalding-hot coffee shoved all other thoughts out of his head as he threw it back. He drained the first cup easily and poured most of the rest into a purple Thermos that he would most likely finish on his way to school. He eyeballed an apple in consideration and then dismissed it. He wasn't hungry first thing in the morning, and whatever emptiness he had in his stomach was filled by coffee.

He packed up his backpack, snatched his keys from the coffee table in the living room, and waved a hasty goodbye to his brother, who'd just emerged from his room with a bleary look on his face and a cigarette already in his mouth.

As always, he picked up Feferi on the way to school. She took a swig of his coffee and almost gagged. _"Cod,_ Eridan! How can you _drink_ that stuff?"

"Easy. Watch," he said calmly, lifting the Thermos to his lips. Used to the taste and no longer burned by the heat, he swallowed a mouthful and grinned. "It's nectar a' the 'cods,'" he quipped, using her own puns against her.

She pulled a face and shook her head. "Sometimes I just don't _net_ you."

Eridan shook his head, too. "That was a bad one, Fef."

She giggled. "Yeah, it was, wasn't it?"

It was almost eight when they arrived at school, and over an hour until Eridan's first class started. Feferi's Sociology class began at eight-thirty, but she always kept him company in the cafeteria until she had to leave. This morning, however, he knew he wasn't very talkative.

He was distracted, making careful note of the brand of honey the school bought and keeping an eye out for Sollux Captor. The dark-skinned girl he'd been sitting with the day before was by herself today. He watched as she pulled out her phone to answer a text message and he wondered if it was from Sollux and where he was this morning. He'd always had the vague idea that he was here every morning, but today he was nowhere in sight.

"So, _water_ we doing this weekend?" Feferi asked, grinning as she shook him out of his reverie.

"Oh. Um." He'd been taken by surprise, and for a second, his thoughts scattered like minnows. He collected himself, remembering what he'd intended to tell her. "This mess," he said, gesturing to his hair, "needs fixin'. I got roots comin' in that won't quit. I figure that's a job for Friday night an' you can decide for Saturday."

" _Whale_ , we're going home this weekend, right? My parents missed me last weekend," she added plaintively.

Eridan nodded. "Yeah. We can leave after school on Friday."

"We should try to go to the beach on Saturday one last time, before it gets too cold," she said almost dreamily.

"I'll go with you, but I'm definitely _not_ swimmin'." To his mind, it was already too cold for that, but she had a higher tolerance for temperature variations in the water. She would probably go swimming in December if the air wasn't too cold when she got out of the water.

She stuck her tongue out at him and turned to her phone, answering a text that had just come in.

Eridan glanced back at the girl that had been with Sollux. She'd pulled out a book that he couldn't read the title of from here, but she kept peeking up over the top of it to look around the room. Within two minutes, she was putting her book away and crossing the room to join two people he hadn't noticed before.

Where the Hell was Sollux? Eridan wondered if he was avoiding the building purposefully, knowing he'd be around. _Smart move_ , he acknowledged, but it didn't help him. He wanted to actually _see_ that scum, but apparently, it wasn't to happen this morning. One by one, people got up from their tables and drifted out of the cafeteria as their classes were set to begin, including Feferi, Sollux's friend, and the girl she was talking to. Only the boy remained, a tall and well-muscled boy Eridan didn't recognize.

He groaned and leaned back in his seat. There was nothing else he could do right now. He pulled out his phone and started playing a game.

* * *

After his Calculus class was let out ten minutes before their scheduled ten-thirty dismissal time, Eridan headed back to the cafeteria. His Tuesday and Thursday classes had been scheduled so he only had one class in the morning, but his class after lunch started at noon. It was the price he paid for an easy morning. He was grateful to have an hour and a half off for lunch.

He was in the middle of sending a text message to Fef as he strode down the sidewalk when he felt someone shoulder-check him going the other way. He immediately whipped around to issue a scathing remark when he saw who it was and the words died in his throat.

 _Oh._ Even though they only locked eyes for a second or two, it was enough. It was Sollux Captor, but looking decidedly different from the day before in one crucial detail: his left eye, the one Eridan had thought to be a shade or two darker brown than the other, was _blue_. He must have been wearing a contact lens the day before to hide it, but now... He felt his gaze move from one eye to the other, confirming what was obvious a huge difference in color. Somehow, though, those mismatched eyes seemed to fit him. They looked natural somehow.

Sollux's eyes widened as he noted where Eridan was looking and he quickly turned away. "Fuck," he heard the taller boy mutter as he hurried away.

For a long time, Eridan stared after Sollux, watching him retreat. He couldn't say what compelled him to look long after what could have been considered normal, but he felt some tug that tried to lead him wherever Captor was heading.

 _The thirst for revenge_ , he told himself, and he headed back to the cafeteria for lunch. The sooner he struck back, the better. That way, Sollux would be able to plan his own retaliation, and then... what? He _expected_ that Sollux would respond in kind to Eridan's opening salvo. It was what he would do if their roles were reversed. But what if he didn't? What if Captor just let it go or ignored it?

That thought bothered him, too. He sincerely hoped he'd picked a worthy adversary in Sollux Captor. Judging by his little stunt from yesterday, he assumed he had the fortitude to continue their contest of wits, but... perhaps not. He knew he'd be disappointed if his retribution didn't earn a response of its own.

 _just ran into sol. dude's got one blue eye an one brown eye._ He realized as soon as he sent the text to Feferi that he'd assigned Captor a nickname from his collective. Feferi was "Fef," Cronus was "Cro," Karkat was "Kar," and now, apparently, Sollux was "Sol." He scoffed to himself. Hell, he might as well just start calling Terezi "Ter" while he was at it. That's where this slippery slope was headed if he maintained this behavior.

_And why do I care? I have a fishy feeling you're obsessed with him._

Eridan groaned. She didn't understand! Sollux had injured his pride! _all a your feelins are fishy. an i am not obsessed with him!_

_You sure? 38D_

_yes i am sure! cod why are you actin so weird?_ It wasn't like him to slip a fish pun in, but he didn't like where this conversation was heading and figured it was a good way to distract her. He was beginning to wish he hadn't even brought it up.

_I'm just joking, carp down. 38)_

He didn't like the way that smiley mocked him. It hinted that she thought he really _was_ obsessed with Sollux Captor, and that was just ridiculous.

Another text from Feferi came in. _But seriously, I do think you hurt his feelings with your comment. 38(_

Eridan gritted his teeth. _well even if i had a mind to apologize, which i don't, he probably wouldn't listen now_

_Maybe you should, though._

He was definitely not about to apologize. Amporas _never_ apologized. He didn't answer Fef, but she was used to his moods. It wouldn't faze her.

He was halfway done with his lunch when he noted with some disinterest that a girl with bleached-blond hair and black-painted lips was looking around the cafeteria, presumably for a place to sit. She looked around and located the emptiest table (besides his—he was sure to fix a glower on his face to warn off even the most friendly of people) that had one girl at it, one with bobbed black hair and a floor-length skirt.

He scowled at his pizza and continued to... well, not sulk, because Amporas didn't sulk, either. He glared at everyone and everything, though. He couldn't rest until his pride had been avenged. Captor would pay tomorrow morning.


	12. Act 12

He was an _idiot_. How could he have been in such a damned rush?

He knew the answer, though. If he was going to be honest, he had barely made it to the bus on time as it was. He needed to set his last-chance alarm two minutes earlier. Still, Sollux berated himself for hurrying like that. Why had he even _needed_ that alarm? Why hadn't he woken up earlier?

He remembered, however vaguely, waking up from a dream in the middle of the night. He never dreamed, a side effect of the sleeping pills, but he had last night for reasons he couldn't fathom. He tried to recall what it had been about, but falling asleep again and the intervening hours had driven the dream past remembrance. He just knew with a cold certainty that he _had_ dreamed, and he'd gone back to sleep, and he'd woken again, too late to realize what he was forgetting.

And now Eridan Ampora had seen his stupid blue eye.

Ampora's face had been... stunned. Neither of them had realized right away who they'd smacked into. It wasn't until they'd wheeled around, coming face-to-face, that Sollux even realized it was someone he knew. He'd seen the way Eridan had spun around, some barb on his lips, and just the same, he'd seen the words freeze in his throat and how his eyes moved from one side of his face to the other. For the briefest of moments, Sollux wondered what the Hell Ampora was looking at like that.

And then he remembered. It was painfully obvious from the expression on his face what he was looking at. _Awed_ wasn't the right word, but it was the first word that came to mind. Eridan had seen his freakishly mismatched his eyes were, and Sollux muttered, "Fuck," spinning back around and hurrying to his Political Science class. He half-expected Eridan to call after him, just like the evening before in the library, but Ampora never raised his voice to hail him. When Sollux looked back just before ducking into the building his class was in, Eridan was still standing there, looking at him. A shiver ran down Sollux's spine.

In class, suddenly painfully self-conscious of the colors of his eyes, he kept his head down and his mouth shut. He had half a mind to head home during lunch to retrieve the contact lens, but he only had an hour between Political Science and Chemistry and he didn't want to cut it too close. The buses only ran every fifteen minutes right now, leaving him ten extra minutes, if he was lucky, to make it to class on time. He was stuck.

It wasn't easy to hide his six-foot-two frame behind five-foot-ten Jake English in front of him, but he made it happen, slouching and propping his feet up on the wire basket beneath the other boy's desk. He hoped it would be enough to keep his teacher from picking him to answer a question, thereby keeping all eyes off him, but he knew his instructor also liked to call on random people, just minding their own business. It would be a cold game of Russian Roulette, but Sollux was pretty good at remaining unseen, even at his height.

As class dragged on, he half-paid attention, the other half focusing on shitty doodles he roughed out in the margins of his notebook. He wasn't really artistic, wasn't good at drawing or writing or anything—the only reason he had that Creative Writing class this semester was for a mandatory elective requirement—but it soothed him to draw, at least a little.

He sketched out a chessboard with nine tiles, and—he grinned to himself—two kings locked in an eternal stalemate. Next to it, he started drawing a boy with glasses and a hammer smacking the shit out of a bunch of little imps. By the time he started in on the finer details, class was ending and he had gone mercifully unnoticed.

Now all he had to do was avoid running into Ampora again. This time, he would watch where he was going. He tossed his notebook and textbook into his backpack and slunk out of the classroom, eyes lowered to his shoes.

He wished he had prescription sunglasses so he didn't have to worry about people seeing this stupid eye thing. He could forgo a contact lens and just toss the shades on whenever he felt like it. It would be a lot faster than contacts, too.

Sollux kept his head down but peered up as he walked, keeping his eyes moving across the sidewalk, scanning anxiously for Ampora or anyone else he didn't want seeing him like this. He irrationally felt that all eyes were on him, but as he looked more closely, he saw that hardly anyone spared him a glance. It was a relief, to be sure.

He was at the door of the cafeteria building when he saw Eridan heading out. _Shit! That asshole is everywhere!_ He spun around and searched for a place to hide. All he could see that was within sprinting distance in the time it would take Eridan to reach the door was the outside wall of the building. The doors were set about ten feet out from the rest of the building in their own enclave, leaving enough of a wall to hide him until he was well out of Eridan's peripherals. Seeing no other alternative, he dashed behind the building and pressed his back to the wall.

 _This is stupid_ , he realized as he stood there. He was twenty years hold and _hiding_ from _Eridan goddamn Ampora_ because of his eyes. He felt like a moron, but he wanted to avoid harassment. Apparently, this was the way to do it.

He wasn't stupid enough to think that Eridan wasn't angry at him. He knew the little hipster douche was pissed-off. Sollux just didn't know how pissed he was. He didn't doubt, though, that Ampora had the ability to make his life a living Hell.

Considering he was hiding from Eridan behind a fucking wall, he'd already started to make his life a living Hell, actually.

Once he was sure Eridan had passed without noticing him, he breathed a sigh of relief, hopped over the knee-high concrete barrier he'd vaulted over earlier, and headed inside. To his relief, Aradia was already there, but she was sitting with someone he didn't recognize and someone he did. Sollux wondered where he knew the guy from when Aradia caught sight of him, waved excitedly, and quickly got up and dashed over to him. He gave a half-hearted wave in return as the other boy and girl turned around, and he made a big show of brushing his bangs away from his left eye to hide the blue.

"Hey, Sollux! I missed you this morning!" she said brightly, giving him a tight hug. She stepped back as he lowered his hand and she inhaled sharply, covering her mouth with her hands, but he could see a smile on her face. "Sollux, your contact is gone!" she breathed, sounding pleasantly surprised.

"Yeah. It was an accident," he muttered, not caring about his lisp anymore. "I got up so late that I forgot all about it."

"Oh." She seemed disappointed. "So it wasn't intentional?"

He shook his head. "Of course not. I look like a freak, and Eridan Ampora saw it, too."

"Who?"

"Oh. Right. I forgot I didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

Sollux sighed and sat down on a bench near the stairs. Aradia glanced back at the two others she'd been sitting with (both of whom were looking confused), held up a finger as if to say _hold on a minute_ , and sat down next to him. "Remember how KK decided to take me to lunch yesterday?"

"Yes..." she said slowly.

"Well, his lab buddy Eridan Ampora came with us because he has a car. TZ and Eridan's friend Fef came with us, too."

"Terezi came?"

"Yeah. She pretty much invited herself, but KK didn't tell her no. So Eridan bitched the whole way pretty much and then he bitched some more when we got to the restaurant and he bitched the whole time we were eating, and then TZ opened her mouth and made some insinuation that he's gay and ED basically lost his shit insisting that he's _not_ , and TZ said that me and her are a 'very accepting' couple of people and added that _I'm_ bi, and ED made this crack that it didn't surprise him, and I... Well, I think I snapped 'cause I dumped my cup of Dr Pepper on his head and now I think he's out to get me."

By the time he finished his story, Aradia had buried her face in her hands and begun rocking back and forth in her seat. Sollux wasn't sure what to make of this, but suddenly, she let out a shrill giggle and her hands dropped, revealing the huge grin on her face. "I'm sorry, Sollux, that's hysterical. I never would have guessed you had it in you to—"

"Retaliate against a blatant insult?"

"Retaliate at all. I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself! The delivery could use a little work, but good overall message."

Sollux laughed in spite of himself and ran his fingers through his hair. "Well, I've made an enemy out of Eridan Ampora, so we'll see how well that ends."

"If he's going to insult your sexuality, he probably _is_ an idiot. And so far in the closet, even Dean Winchester's like, 'Damn!'"

He chuckled again. Aradia always knew what to say to make him feel better, at least for a few minutes. It was a relief to not worry about _something_. "So," he said, figuring it was past time to ask, "who are those two you're hanging out with in there? I think I know the guy, but I don't know from where."

"Oh." She blushed suddenly, hiding her face behind her hair until the dull flush receded. "Um. She's Nepeta, and he's Equius Zahhak. He says he's in your Coding class, actually."

He nodded. That did sound right. Most people in that class kept to themselves, though. It wasn't a really lecture-based course. "And?"

She blushed again. "And... um... he's really cute."

He knew that wasn't the whole story. " _And_?"

"What do you want me to say? I think he likes me, and I think I like him!"

"You never mentioned him before. How did you meet?" he asked patiently.

She ducked her head and mumbled something he couldn't quite make out.

"Huh?"

"I _said_ , Nepeta caught me staring at them."

"You were staring at them?" he asked incredulously.

"Yeah. It was this morning, right after you said you were running late, and I started reading _Game of Thrones_ but I kept looking around and I saw them and she was braiding his hair so I was watching and they saw me and... Well, Nepeta invited me over and we started talking and then _she_ left and it was just me and Equius and Nepeta had been hinting that Equius liked me or that we'd be good for each other or _something_ , I'm not really sure, it just all happened so fast and anyway I gave him my number and I'm pretty sure me and Equius like each other."

"Is he cool?" Sollux didn't know the guy, after all. Coding class offered very little time for socialization, Terezi be damned.

"Yeah, he's really nice and really strong and... you should come meet them!"

"Uh." Sollux pointed to his eye. "Not really feeling all that social right now, AA."

"They won't care, I promise. Nepeta is really sweet and Equius seems too polite to say anything mean anyway. Come on, I'm sure you'll like them!"

Sollux glanced at the tiny blond girl and the huge dark boy. A cold weight settled into his stomach. "Okay," he mumbled, standing and slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Let's go."

He followed her to where Equius and Nepeta were sitting. Equius looked a lot more intimidating from the front, considering he'd really only ever seen the boy's back in class. Nepeta looked like a cat, though—she had a tiny, pointed face and button nose, and she had an air of mischief about her. This was only amplified as she sprang gracefully from the table she'd been sitting on, next to Equius, and grabbed Aradia and Sollux by the wrists. "Hi, Sollux!" she said brightly. "I'm Nepeta! Did Aradia tell you about us?"

"Uh, yeah," he said, allowing himself to be steered toward the table with the other boy. Now that they were standing next to each other, he fully realized just how short she actually was. In fact, it was kind of funny because he, Aradia, and Equius were all at least six feet tall and she looked to barely clear five feet. Karkat would _love_ hanging out with her.

"Good afternoon," Equius said. Sollux realized he'd never heard his voice before.

"Hey."

Nepeta shoved him into a chair next to Aradia and she scampered to the other side, using Equius to climb onto the table where she settled in the middle, sitting cross-legged. The three of them resumed their conversation and he quickly excused himself to get lunch, leaving his backpack next to Aradia as an unspoken promise to return. Nepeta's hyperactivity was giving him heart palpitations.

He took extra time to pick out what he wanted for lunch to postpone going back to Aradia and, more specifically, her new friends. It wasn't that he didn't _like_ them—it was just that his blue eye, exposed to the world, was making him increasingly self-conscious and he didn't relish the thought of keeping his eyes down for the rest of the day. It was a pain in the ass.

Finally, though, once he had his burger and fries on his tray, he couldn't postpone it any longer. He slunk back to the table, just in time for a flash of fuchsia to overtake him.

"Sollux! Can I _glub_ at you for a second?" Feferi asked, rushing over to him from Lord knew where.

"Uh, yeah," he said, looking nervously down at his plate.

"Great!" He chanced half a glance up, and she was looking at his eyes. There was no surprise on her face, though. It was as if she was confirming what she already knew. "Look," she started, "I'm so sorry about what happened yesterday. Eridan was _wave_ out of line. He's my best _frond_ and I know how he can get some _tines_ , and I _codn't_ make any excuses for him, but I just wanted you to know that I think he might be planning some _fin_ to get back at you. I'm gonna _glub_ at him about it, too, but again, I am _reel_ ly sorry about every _fin_."

"I'm not mad at you or anything," Sollux started, and Feferi nodded like she already knew.

"I know, I know, but try not to be mad at him, either. He's not a bad guy, _reel_ ly! He just takes some... _netting_ used to."

Sollux felt a bit bowled over by the fish puns, but he nodded. "Yeah. I'll try. If he fucks with me, though, I'm going to hit back."

Feferi bit her lip. "Okay. I'll try to _glub_ some sense into him," she said, and then hurried away as quickly as she'd come.

Nepeta let out a high-pitched giggle, and Sollux turned his head to see that she had stuffed her sleeves into her mouth to muffle the sound. Her mischievous look had only deepened. "What?" he asked, shooting her what he hoped was a cold glare.

She just shook her head and giggled again.


	13. Intermission/Act 13

_**INTERMISSION**_

_**Several hours before (two hours and fifteen minutes, to be precise)** _

It wasn't uncommon to find the cafeteria filled with people, especially around lunchtime. Rose had long since accepted this fact and now only wanted to find a nice, empty table so she could sit down, eat a sandwich, and knit. She didn't think it was too much to ask, but apparently whatever powers held sway over the workings of the universe begged to differ. As she looked around, she noted with a minor wave of annoyance that not a single table remained unoccupied. There were quite a few that had one person only, but none of them looked very friendly—especially that boy in the corner with the thick hipster glasses and angry scowl. She wondered what he had stuck in his craw before she hazarded another look around the room.

There was one girl with her head down. Well, if anything, they didn't have to make conversation. She didn't look to be in a very chatty mood anyway, which suited Rose just fine. She wasn't someone who felt the need to fill every silence with meaningless polite chatter. As long as this girl was okay with the clacking of knitting needles, they would make for quite an amiable pair.

"S'cuse me," she said as politely as she could.

The girl lifted her head, her bobbed dark hair skimming the sides of her ears. Her lips had been painted jade green and her eyeliner, while not thick, was noticeable, lending her a Goth-equse appearance, but Rose somehow sensed that she would bristle at being labeled as such. When the girl locked eyes with her, a small, tentative smile crossed her face. "Good morning," she replied; her voice sounded almost impossibly sweet and her inflection hinted at a surprising intelligence.

"Mind if I sit here? There's no empty tables," Rose explained, not allowing herself to become unhinged by this other girl's pretty face.

"That would be agreeable."

Rose got the impression that this girl was no stranger to formality. "Thanks. I'm Rose."

"I'm Kanaya. It's a great pleasure to meet you, Rose."

Rose couldn't help smiling in return as she set down her backpack. It was a rather foreign feeling—the smiling, that is. She hadn't smiled honestly and sincerely in quite some time. Whenever she smiled, it tended to be mockingly or a half-smile. It wasn't so bad to genuinely smile again, though. "I'll be right back. I need to get some lunch."

"I'll be waiting," Kanaya almost sang as Rose headed toward the chow line.

As she gathered her food, she wondered why Kanaya had been sitting with her head down in the first place. Would Kanaya be agreeable to talking about it? Rose's inner psychologist couldn't help but be curious. Maybe this could be a very interesting lunch after all.

When Rose returned to Kanaya's table, she saw that the other girl had procured a cup of what looked like either coffee or tea—she couldn't tell which. Rose set her tray down and took her seat across from the dark-haired girl. "So, tell me, Kanaya. What sort of emotional upheavals have you experienced recently?"

_**END INTERMISSION.**_

* * *

_**ACT 13**_

_**Several hours later (two and a half, to be precise)** _

Eridan didn't really _like_ having a class that started at noon, honestly. More often than not, his classmates would bring in their lunches and eat in front of everyone, and while he wasn't hungry considering he'd eaten in the cafeteria, it was annoying when one of them gave an answer and they had food in their mouths. It was enough to make him contemplate jumping out the second-story window.

He resisted, just barely, by ignoring them all. He had other things on his plate right now, like his revenge stunt with Captor and this business with Vriska Serket's impending return to his life. Last night and this morning had driven the latter from his mind, but after he had his plan fully formed, he mentally set it aside and remembered that the huge spider-bitch was planning on coming to _his_ school. Even worse, he didn't know when that was actually going to happen. This, he supposed, was probably one of her psychological tactics.

Two and a half years. That was how long it had been since he'd seen her last. He'd barely even thought about her for the last eighteen months, but Fef had told him that one of Vriska's ex-boyfriends was traumatized by the revelation that she'd be coming here, so apparently she still wielded the same manipulative power she always had. He didn't like to think about the two months they'd dated (if that was what you'd call it—he wasn't sure that it did, since the only places they'd gone together were his bedroom or her basement). It had been a very dark time in his life. Not even Feferi, who'd been his best friend for seven years now, knew about whatever the sum of their relationship had been. Vriska had wanted it kept secret. "I want to keep you aaaaaaaall to myself," she'd said in that sing-song way she had, stretching her words and adding extra vowels.

She'd had him all to herself for this long, though. Nearly three years after that short time they'd been together, he still hadn't been able to break the dry spell she'd somehow left in his life. It was like she'd cursed him when she left. She had been his first, and to date, she'd been the only one. It was embarrassing—he hadn't even dated anyone else. It was embarrassing and unconscionable and it was something he'd take to the grave if he could help it. Feferi could never know.

And now Vriska was coming back into his life. He knew she had at least one other ex here, probably more, so what could her logic possibly be? Maybe the spider-bitch wanted to see if she could trap anyone else in her web of seduction. Eridan shuddered at the prospect. He would never go back to her, no matter how much he'd missed her at first. The whole thing had been a huge mistake.

He was startled out of his musings as around him, his classmates got to their feet and started shuffling out the door. He put away his laptop and hurried out as well. He only had a half an hour between this class and Art History, and he felt himself crashing. He needed coffee, or else he'd never survive the day.

The line at the school coffee shop was mercifully short, but he had to deal with Roxy behind the register today. Half the time, he would swear she was drunk. Her speech always seemed to be slurred, but somehow, the other baristas were able to interpret what she was saying accurately. It was impressive until she handed him back his credit card with a flirty, "Wonk-wonk," and an exaggerated wink. He took his card and slunk away, feeling vaguely creeped-out.

Behind the counter, Jane snorted with laughter.

Coffee in hand (courtesy of Jane, because Roxy was wisely never allowed to prepare orders), he headed off to his next class, hoping there would be something of interest to be discussed. He needed to keep his mind off Vriska Serket.

* * *

He got his wish: his Art History class was interesting enough to keep him focused on the work, and Jane had slipped an extra shot of espresso into his coffee to keep him awake. If she'd been there, he probably would have kissed her. It was _exactly_ what he needed.

The next time he went in there, he decided he was going to use cash so he could leave her a tip.

After class, he dropped Feferi off at her apartment building. He'd been forced to reassure her several times that he had no intention of retaliating against Sollux Captor before she would get out of the car, but once she did, he drove to the nearest grocery store to pick up the few things he would need for his harmless little prank. Items in hand, he went back home and set about preparing for the next day. If anything, it would be an awesome morning.

* * *

Sollux didn't run into Eridan for the rest of the day, much to his relief. He was pretty sure the other boy would make fun of him, and he didn't know if he would punch him out or have a mental collapse in the corner. Both options seemed appealing, but he fortunately didn't have to make that choice. It still didn't stop him from thinking about Eridan and all the shit he could potentially pull, but by three-thirty, he was on the bus back home.

Back in his apartment, he dropped his backpack off in his bedroom and went to his living room/dining room. He knew he had to get his mind off Eridan—worrying about him was going to give him a stress ulcer if he wasn't careful—so he tried to immerse himself in _Assassin's Creed_ until he finally gave up. It was pointless. He couldn't get Ampora out of his head.

He groaned and sent a text to Aradia. _AA what2 happeniing?_ Without waiting for an answer, he sent another text to Terezi, hoping at least one of them would answer. _hey TZ what2 up?_ He was still a little annoyed at her for what had happened yesterday, but she wasn't the only one at fault. Besides, she was one of the few friends he had left.

He only had to wait a minute or two. Aradia's response came in first. _n0t much. class has been uneventful but equius has been in c0ntact_

_that2 good new2 riight?_

Terezi's answer came next. _H3Y SOLLUX. 1V3 B33N DO1NG 4BSOLUT3LY NOTH1NG 3XC3PT T3XT1NG P3OPL3 4LL D4Y._

_liike who?_

Aradia's reply arrived while he was sending his text to Terezi. _yes it's a g00d thing. i think. it's been a bit strange, t0 be h0nest. i think there's s0mething he's n0t telling me_

_2omethiing bad?_

_MOSTLY T4VROS 4ND K4RK4T :]_

_are you actually gettiing along wiith hiim?_ This was not sufficient for a distraction. Now if Mituna were here... Sollux winced. He loved Mituna, he really did. Even though they were all but identical (the only difference between them being that both of Mituna's eyes were brown), no one would ever mistake one for the other. Sollux's twin was almost always grinning, carefree, and untroubled, something Sollux couldn't help but envy him. He'd gotten saddled with the debilitating disorders and social anxiety (and a deep-seated insecurity about his heterochromia) and Mituna had some sorcery-caused ability to make friends with damn near anyone. Social situations were his thing. He even had a girlfriend now, he said (not that Sollux had ever met her, but she was apparently "super rad, man!"). Still, the constant _friendliness_ was enough to put Sollux off. Mituna had gone to a college upstate on a science scholarship, so Sollux didn't have to see him all the time, but they each went home one weekend a month and it was, more often than not, almost more than he could stand.

At least he would be so preoccupied with Mituna that he wouldn't even have time to think about Eridan Ampora.

He could do anything right now, and here he was obsessing about some guy who hated him. His life had gotten pretty badly fucked if he was at this point. He would have even been grateful for the distraction of homework, but he was already caught up on that. Even his Chemistry assignment today had been easy enough to complete. It was _done_.

He rubbed his eyes. He hadn't bothered putting the brown contact lens back in once he got home; he wasn't planning on going out tonight, so it didn't make a difference. Half of him wanted to go out and do something, but he didn't have an actual idea, so he knew it would be a stupid endeavor. The other half of him wanted to talk to Aradia again about Eridan, but he knew it would make him feel like an idiot. He didn't need reminding that the hipster douche-wagon basically ran his life now. Even if Eridan _was_ kind of hot, in that annoying "better than you" hipster douche-wagon way. He'd never admit it out loud, but he was even a little attracted to him, no matter how stupid it was, considering Eridan was a bi- and homophobic bastard. (Feferi had insisted that he really wasn't like that, but Sollux wasn't sure.)

He switched over the auxiliary feeds to his television and started channel-surfing. Maybe there would be something good on.


	14. Act 14

Eridan woke up before his alarm again and took the fastest shower he'd ever had in his life. He only slowed down for coffee and to make absolutely sure he had everything he needed for this morning—the bottle of honey he'd modified was in his bag, along with his textbooks, laptop, and camera. On second thought, he stuck the bottle in a plastic bag to ensure it didn't ooze on any of his electronics. It would figure if karma saw fit to punish him early.

He texted Feferi and told her to be ready to go early, too. It was imperative that they arrive before Sollux. If they didn't, there was no way his plan would work and he'd have to postpone it until next Monday, and _that_ was unacceptable. He had to strike while the iron was still hot.

He knew better than to explain to her _why_ he wanted to be early. She'd already tried to tell him to let it go, that he and Sollux were even (he'd made his snide comment and Sollux had retaliated), but he still didn't like it. Captor had _humiliated_ him. He couldn't let it go, couldn't let it rest. He _wouldn't_ , either.

But he'd assured her that he'd behave. He felt a bit guilty about lying to her, but it wasn't hurting her and she'd be over it soon enough anyway. He hadn't been planning on telling her he liked her anytime in the immediate future, either—what was the big deal with waiting a few more months? It wasn't like she'd expressed a romantic interest in anyone else. He might worry then, but _until_ then, he would keep his silence until a more opportune time.

However, he realized that his biggest issue in implementing his master plan was actually separating himself from her. She would no doubt not let him leave the table if she suspected he was going to do something malicious, or tip off Sollux and ruin the whole thing. If she were to leave the room for some reason, though... His mind began running through scenarios of how he could distract her or get her to leave.

He needn't have worried, though. Almost immediately after sitting down at their table, Feferi stood right back up. "I'll be right back—I have to go to the little _gill's_ room."

"Um. Okay?" He raised an eyebrow but watched until she left. _That was bizarrely convenient._ He looked around and made absolutely sure Sollux wasn't there yet. Once he'd confirmed, he dug the bottle of honey out of his backpack, took it out of the plastic bag, and slunk over to the other bottle of honey. As surreptitiously as he was able, he switched the bottles and hurried back to his table, hoping no one saw him.

Eridan sat back down and cast a wary eye over the other occupants of the cafeteria. He didn't think anyone else had noticed—one of the girls he'd seen with Sollux, the one with the short dark hair, was completely distracted by another blond girl who was sitting with her. _Perfect._ Now it was a waiting game.

* * *

Fortunately, Sollux woke up with his regular alarm on Wednesday morning. Today was already better than the day before. He fumbled for his glasses and went to shower, making absolutely sure he'd put in his contact lens afterward. Already, he was feeling better about today.

After finishing off the leftover pizza in his fridge, he caught the bus to school and was sidling into the cafeteria, scoping out Aradia's table, by seven-fifty. She was sitting with Kanaya again, along with a blond girl Sollux didn't know. He didn't quite know what to make of that, but he set his backpack down and took a seat anyway.

"Hey, Sollux!" Aradia said. "This is Rose, one of Kanaya's friends."

The blond girl waved in greeting, and Sollux nodded. "Hey," he said. She was pretty, with hair that had probably been bleached that light-blond color, judging by her darker eyebrows and the fact that she looked like she wasn't completely Caucasian.

Kanaya looked like she was feeling better, too. Her whole demeanor seemed brightened and, best of all, she didn't have her head on the table anymore. She even had a cup of coffee on the table in front of her, reminding Sollux that he'd been meaning to have some tea. "I'll be right back," he said quickly, and got up.

He took a Styrofoam cup, stuck a teabag in it, and filled it with hot water. Once it had steeped, he threw away the bag, popped open the bear of honey, and emptied a generous amount into the cup.

He supposed he should have known something was wrong from the get-go, but he still hadn't quite woken up yet. His tea didn't smell quite right, but he ignored it and took a big gulp.

He nearly gagged, dropping the cup on the floor. _Jesus Christ, what the Hell?! It tasted like hot sauce or something!_ Someone ran up behind him and he straightened up. It was Aradia.

"Are you okay?" she asked anxiously.

"Yeah, I think..." Then he heard that laughter. It was definitely the "I'm laughing at _you_ " variety as opposed to the "that was a really funny joke" variety, and he turned his head to glare at whoever the fuck was laughing at him.

Eridan Ampora. Of course.

Feferi was getting up from the table, an irritated look on her face. " _Cod_ damn it, Eridan, grow up," she snapped, stomping out of the cafeteria, but Eridan kept right on laughing.

"I bet _he_ did that," Sollux grumbled.

"What happened?"

"I think he put hot sauce in my tea."

"You got it out of a tea bag, Sollux. I doubt it," she said in a way that was probably intended to be soothing, but he wasn't convinced. Then he saw the honey. _That_ was an open container. He snatched it off the line and tentatively sniffed the cap. Yep, definitely hot sauce. "Smell that."

She gave him a doubtful look but smelled anyway. Her expression changed almost instantly. "Oh, my God, that is nasty!"

"See?! I told you! And he's over there just laughing his head off, so you _know_ it's his fault!"

"Sollux," she started, but he turned around, grabbed his backpack from the table, and stormed out of the cafeteria. Eridan Ampora was going to pay for this.

Once the commotion in the cafeteria died down, Eridan picked up his camera and looked at the picture he'd caught at the exact second the look of shock, anger, and disgust had appeared on Sollux's face. It was almost hysterical, and he applauded himself on a plan smoothly executed. Aside from Feferi's huff (which he understood, but that wasn't the point), he'd gotten off pretty much scot-free, too. Judging by the glare Captor had shot at him before he left, he was probably off to do some plotting of his own, meaning he had his own nemesis now. He liked that prospect, assuming Sollux understood the unspoken rules of this arrangement: no vandalism, no killing flies with shotguns, and no civilian casualties. Harmless pranks warranted harmless pranks, not slashing tires.

If Sollux Captor slashed his tires, Eridan would make sure he paid for them. Still, that kind of measure was baseless and low. He was of the opinion that Captor would be smarter than that, maybe even his intellectual equal. He was actually rather excited to find out how Sollux planned to repay him. If he was right about Sollux, he might even be amused when the strike came.

* * *

"It was Eridan, that asshole with the hipster glasses and the camera on his table," Aradia explained.

Kanaya looked thoughtful. "What will Sollux do in response?"

"I have no idea. I think Feferi tried to warn him about this yesterday—although I really don't think she knew what he was planning—and he said he'd strike back if he was hit, so he's probably going to play a prank on him."

Kanaya nodded. Rose remained silent, ever the detached observer. Abruptly, Kanaya said, "His last name wouldn't be Ampora, would it?"

"Yeah, that's him."

"I see."

"Why?"

"Well, if memory serves me correctly, I believe he is another of Vriska's ex-boyfriends."

Rose raised an eyebrow. "How many exes does she _have_? It's like _Scott Pilgrim vs. The World_ , except _she's_ the evil one."

Kanaya cracked a smile. "I believe that would make me Roxy, then?"

"I count two exes that I know," Aradia said. "Kanaya and now him."

"I have a friend," Rose explained. "John Egbert. So that's three I've met in person."

"There's also Tavros Nitram. He attends this school as well," Kanaya said. "Although he's now seeing someone else, which is fortunate for him. I'm sure there are others scattered about the tri-state area."

"No doubt when she saunters in, a dozen people will dash out crying," Rose half-joked.

"I'm sure it will be an intriguing experience."

Aradia sighed. "No doubt." She chanced another glance at Eridan, who was playing with his phone now. "I wonder which evil one came first—Eridan or Vriska?"

"An interesting query. From what I know of Vriska—a fair bit, to be sure—I would assume that her nature rubbed off on him. However, I know next to nothing about Eridan, save his name, so I couldn't judge with any degree of certainty."

Rose pulled out her bag of knitting materials and fished out her latest project, a pink scarf for her sister. Knitting helped clear her mind, helped her think. "Aradia. You said you believe Sollux will attempt to retaliate against Eridan, correct?"

"Probably. I've hardly ever seen him so angry." Aradia raised an eyebrow. "Actually, now that I think about it, he doesn't really let his emotions show all that often. It's only where Eridan is concerned that he becomes a bit... _volatile,_ I guess is the word I'm looking."

"A curious sentiment."

"Eridan has a way of getting under his skin, I guess."

"Agreed," Rose said simply. "Although if Eridan harbors a grudge against him, enough of one to pull a prank on him—no doubt with the anticipation of a returning salvo—one might be inclined to suggest that the feeling is mutual."

"And what makes you think Eridan expects him Sollux to retaliate?"

"He made no secret that it was _him_ who pulled the prank. He _wanted_ Sollux to know. He would also know, based on the incident on Monday, that Sollux has the capacity to seek revenge. So why not? From what I've seen of Eridan, he only really has Feferi as a friend. Maybe this is his alternative to friends—enemies."

Aradia nodded slowly. "I think I see what you're getting at. You could very well be right, too."

"Well, the proverbial ball is in Sollux's court. It won't be long before we see how well Eridan's 'frenemy' courting plays out."

* * *

Sollux knew better than to retaliate when he was angry. It was best to wait. Ampora would be on his guard, expecting something today or tomorrow, maybe Friday. He'd definitely expect something before the end of next week, and as Sollux sat in the library, sipping on freshly-made tea with the honey mercifully not spiked with hot sauce, he allowed himself to ponder how paranoid Ampora would be if he just... _didn't_ seek revenge. No doubt Eridan assumed he would be repaid in kind, but what if he wasn't? What if a week, two weeks, a month or more passed and Sollux still hadn't gotten his revenge? It would either drive Eridan crazy (maybe causing him to pull another prank on him), or maybe he'd be lulled into a sense of false security. It would be great to strike back then, after Eridan thought the storm had blown over, but Sollux didn't have the patience for that.

He wouldn't get his revenge today, though. No, now he needed to think, to plan. He had no delusions—Eridan had had two days to contemplate his revenge, and Sollux figured he'd need at least that long to come up with something just as good.

Still, the inner promise that Eridan would receive his comeuppance was enough to calm him down, at least a little bit. The trick was finding something Eridan _loved_ and ruining it, however temporarily.

An idea began to form at the back of his head, and he smiled to himself. This whole "evil genius" thing could work out well. He drained his cup of tea, threw away the Styrofoam cup, and went to Coding class. He just needed a bit more time and he'd be ready to implement his master plan.

He was five minutes early to class and he slunk to his seat. To his surprise, Equius Zahhak appeared out of nowhere and loomed over him. "Are you alright?" the bigger boy asked, and Sollux nearly fell out of his chair.

"Yeah, fine. Why?"

"Aradia told me what happened in the cafeteria this morning."

"Ah."

"What will you do?"

Sollux sized up Equius. The other boy was nearly six and a half feet tall, and he could no doubt snap Sollux in half if he put his mind to it. He might be a useful accomplice. "Let me answer your question with another question," he said, no longer caring about his lisp. "Do you work on cars by any chance?"

"I do."

"Would you be interested in helping me pay back a little bitch?"


	15. Act 15

"I am surrounded by absolutely incompetent morons," Karkat groaned.

"What do you mean by that? You mean like, they're incompetent at being morons making them actually pretty smart, or—" John started, but Karkat interrupted.

"Shut the fuck up, Egbert, no one gives a shit!"

He couldn't tell for sure, but he thought Dave rolled his eyes. "What happened now, short stuff?"

If Dave had been sitting next to Karkat instead of on John's other side, he would have smacked the back of his head. "Fuck off, Strider."

Dave and John exchanged glances. "Well, jeez, Kar, I thought you _wanted_ us to ask," John said patiently.

"My lab partner for the whole fucking semester found it advisable to piss off my tech support for the foreseeable future! Between the two of these assholes fighting, I'm not going to get any work done!"

"Eridan?"

"What did that douche-magnet do?" Dave asked, interested in spite of himself.

"I don't fucking know, Terezi told me and she heard it from Aradia, but something went down this morning and now Sollux is out for Ampora's blood and I can guarantee they're going to put me right in the middle of their hate-flirting. I _cannot_ deal with this right now!"

"Ah, yes, life is _so_ hard for you right now, Vantas. The entire universe isn't bending to your every whim and now your days are fraught with struggle." Dave settled back in his seat and laced his fingers together behind his head. "Oh, _and_ you got the number of a hot, albeit blind, chick and she's actually into you for once."

Karkat went red. "You don't know that! She might not be!"

"True. In fact, I have no idea why she would be. You're a horrible person." A teasing smile twitched at the corner of Dave's mouth and John let out a giggle.

"No, you're not!" he protested, still grinning. "I'm sure she likes you."

Karkat's blush deepened. "I am _so_ not even worried about that right now!" he lied. "With Captor and Ampora fighting and my computer's hold on functionality tenuous at best, something's liable to explode and it's probably going to be $700 worth of electronics!"

"Well, then, I guess you have two options," John said soothingly. "You can get them to stop fighting by giving them a common enemy..."

"Or?" Karkat asked, not sure he actually wanted to know what was going on in Egbert's head.

"Or you can add fuel to the fire and join their prank wars!"

Dave smacked his forehead, damn near knocking his glasses off his face. "No, John. That sounds like a terrible idea. Not everything can be solved with practical jokes."

Karkat rolled his eyes. "Fuck, Egbert, sometimes _Gamzee_ makes more sense than you!"

"Hey, speaking of the Juggalo, I haven't seen him in awhile. Does he still even go here?" John asked.

"Yeah. I have no idea what classes he takes, though. He won't tell me. I'm pretty sure he skips them anyway. Tavros would know for sure, though." Karkat glanced at the front of the room. Their teacher was a short, amiable man who couldn't hear past the fourth row unless you shouted and could hardly see past the sixth. The trio always sat right in the back of Professor Deuce's class, so they could talk unnoticed—even the people around them didn't care, since most of them were asleep anyway. Still, Karkat rather liked Deuce. He hardly ever gave homework and he made Karkat look like a normal-sized person.

"He's probably taking classes he can skate off easily," Dave drawled. "That's what I'd do, anyway. No offense, but he doesn't seem like the brightest guy."

Karkat shrugged. Considering Gamzee was his best friend and he was Gamzee's best friend, he didn't know all that much about him. Surprising, considering the guy was also his roommate. In fact, the only thing Karkat could say about him with any degree of certainty was that he smoked a lot of weed. That didn't surprise him, though.

Maybe next semester he'd take a slew of easy classes with him. After this semester, his brain could use a vacation.

* * *

_Splash!_

Feferi was two hours early for swimming practice, but that was fine with her. The pool was empty aside from her, allowing her extra time and space to just float. She'd dived in and slipped right to the bottom, and now she was floating there, inches above the pool floor, looking up and holding her breath. She'd been swimming for almost eighteen years—she had quite an impressive lung capacity at this point. She wouldn't have been surprised if she randomly sprouted gills.

Whenever she was stressed, she swam. One of the many things she and Eridan had in common was their love of the water, but there was a difference there. Eridan loved being in the water, wading in it, but not necessarily being _one_ with it. Feferi, on the other hand, would have gladly never come out of the pool or the lake or the ocean if she had the choice. She felt like she was truly one with the water, and she loved to swim. She wasn't the fastest swimmer—she preferred going at her own pace as opposed to competition swimming—but being on the swim team gave her an excuse to use the school pool, so she took it. It was where she went to clear her head, her way of staying sane. And right now, Eridan was driving her crazy.

She'd _told_ him to let it go, that messing with Sollux was a mistake, that they were even. She'd made him promise he wouldn't play a prank or get his stupid revenge on him, and then he turned right around and did it anyway. He was such a child sometimes.

Anger bubbled up in side of her but she forced herself to stay calm. She knew if she got pissed off, she'd try to inhale, and even though she hadn't come close to drowning once, it was always a lingering concern. But that was another reason she went into the water to calm herself—it forced her to think about her breathing (or lack thereof).

After four minutes, she shot to the surface and sucked in a lungful of sweet air. That first breath after being submerged was always the best, and she smiled. No matter how much Eridan pissed her off sometimes, she couldn't stay angry at him forever.

She kicked her feet up and straightened out her body, allowing herself to float on the surface. Now, of course, it was Sollux's turn. He had told her only yesterday that if Eridan pulled anything, he would strike back, and she didn't doubt the truth to his words. The way she saw it, Eridan had whatever was coming to him. She'd failed to explain it to him earlier, but maybe after whatever Sollux did for his revenge... Well, she didn't begrudge him that. She wished _one_ of them would let it go and had the feeling that Sollux would be easier to reason with than Eridan, but she felt like getting through to either of them would be a pain in the ass.

No matter how smart Eridan thought he was, Sollux was smarter—she could tell. It was her job to keep Eridan out of trouble, even if she supposed he deserved it. She had no doubt that Sollux could destroy Eridan if he put his mind to it, but she also knew he wasn't malicious enough to actually do it. She sighed.

She really needed to punch Eridan in the face once in awhile. While he wasn't wearing his glasses, so she didn't break them. Or she could punch him in the back of the head. Lord knew he deserved it.

Her watch beeped at her, informing her that it was ten o'clock. Only forty-five minutes until swim practice started. In fifteen minutes, her teammates would start trickling in. She'd had quite enough of being by herself by now, so she was looking forward to some company. Jade was usually good for a laugh, and Kankri had a tendency to belly-flop into the pool first thing. Even though he was usually fairly reserved, the water seemed to bring him out of his shell, at least a little.

Feferi hauled herself out of the pool, laid her towel on a bench, sat down, and put her hair up in a sloppy bun. She probably should have done so before she got her hair wet, but she was beyond caring. She was ready for some hardcore swimming practice.

* * *

Sollux was quiet all through lunch. He was plotting, although he already had a good idea for how he was going to get revenge against Eridan. He didn't feel like discussing it around Aradia, though.

Equius didn't ask him about it, either. He'd agreed to help Sollux and Sollux had explained his idea. The taller boy found the plan ingenious, but Sollux had also sworn him to secrecy. Equius was good at keeping promises, he figured. The guy had an honorable streak a mile wide. If he promised something, you could rely on him to keep it.

Aradia wouldn't approve, though—neither of his plan or his using her sort-of almost-boyfriend as an accomplice. She shot curious glances at Sollux, as if she wanted to ask but wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer. But when Nepeta asked a question, Aradia blinked. "Sorry?"

Nepeta giggled. "I _said_ , that _furr_ iend of yours, Kanaya? That's her over there, right?" She pointed over Aradia's shoulder to a table across the room, to where Kanaya and Rose were having lunch.

"Yeah. That's her—the dark-haired one."

Nepeta leaned forward, inadvertently dragging her sleeves across Equius's face. He brushed them out of the way but otherwise ignored them, barely seeming to notice the way she was sitting on him. "Who's the blond with her? They look cute together!"

"That's Rose," Aradia said slowly. "She's Kanaya's friend, but I don't think she's... well, I guess I don't really _know_ , but I'm _pretty_ sure she's straight." She glanced at Sollux, as if for confirmation, and he shrugged.

"I got no idea," he said.

"No, but look! Rose is actually listening to what she's saying! You can tell _furr_ om all the way over here! It's so cute!"

"You ship everyone with someone," Equius said, but Nepeta gave him a playful swat on the top of his head.

"Of course I don't! Not _everyone_!"

Aradia laughed. "Okay, then, who _don't_ you ship with someone?"

Nepeta looked skyward for a moment, putting her hand to her chin. "Me," she said after a moment. "But that's okay, because I haven't found the right _purr_ son for me yet!"

"That doesn't count," Equius said. "Try again."

"People I haven't met!"

Aradia shook her head, smiling. "They don't count, either."

"Teachers!"

"Okay, I guess that's legit. But _still_. You ship a lot of people."

"I look at it like this: I see two people who I think should be together. Sometimes I'm wrong, but mostly, I'm not. I don't actually do anything to push them together—mostly," she added with a grin when Aradia raised her eyebrows, as if to say, "Oh, really?" "I just sit back and think about how adorable they are! I'm not actually interfering in anyone's life! See?"

"I suppose you could be worse," Aradia acknowledged.

"Yep! But I know that I've been wrong be _furr_ , so I don't get involved! Everyone's happy!"

"It's still a bit strange," Equius said. Nepeta swatted at him again.

"So who do you ship with Sollux?" Aradia asked with a mischievous grin at him. He looked up, wishing he could shoot lasers out of his eyes.

"You don't want to know who I ship _you_ with?"

"I already know who you ship me with," Aradia laughed, and Equius seemed to blush.

Nepeta grinned. "I'm not saying. I think he'll hit me."

"Sollux doesn't hit people."

"I don't know about that—I came pretty close to hitting Eridan today," he said. "But yeah, I don't want to know."

"Good, 'cause I'm not telling!"

Aradia laughed and Sollux looked back down at his notebook. He had more important things to worry about anyway. For example, the sketch he was currently working on.

He'd thought long and hard about the sunglasses idea yesterday and decided he liked it. After giving up on TV, he'd scoured the internet to see if he could find prescription sunglasses in the style he wanted, but to no avail. He'd have to think of something else. In the meantime, he was content to draw them out several times.

Equius saw the drawings, too. "Interesting design," he said.

"Uh. Thanks."

"Do you actually own them?"

"Nah. I tried to find some online. Nothing, at least not that I can get a prescription for." He looked up and Equius was smiling again. "What?"

"I can make them."

"You—what?"

"My brother and I are both rather handy. He has glass cutting and shaping equipment at home. I'm fond of metalworking, myself."

Sollux looked down and back up. "You can actually make these?"

Equius nodded.

"How long would it take?"

"The weekend. Maybe longer, depending on your prescription strength."

"My eyes aren't too bad."

Equius shrugged.

"How much are we talking?"

"Horuss finds glassworking to be a hobby. He would probably do it for free."

"And the frames?"

"The material would be inexpensive. Would $20 sound fair?"

Sollux dug into his wallet and pulled out two ten-dollar bills. "Done." He'd only known the guy for two days and already Equius was proving himself to be a valuable friend. If they were able to pull off this prank, it would make his whole month.


	16. Act 16

Eridan generally woke up later on Fridays than he did throughout the rest of the week. This was generally because he stayed up later on Thursday nights, cranking Florence and the Machine on his sound system to drown out Cronus's Elvis records and playing with Photoshop until his eyes ached. This was also because his first class on Friday started at ten and ran until eleven-thirty, and his only other class that day started at one and ended at two-thirty. Getting to sleep at a reasonable hour became less important.

He yawned and stretched before he practically tumbled out of bed, groping for his glasses. It was eight-forty-five, and he could hear Cronus already moving around in the apartment. The acrid, burning stench of cigarettes hit his nostrils and he pulled a face. First thing in the morning, he did not want to smell that. Ignoring the growl in his stomach, he made up his bed and went to take his shower.

Feferi hadn't spoken to him much since the incident on Wednesday. He was a little annoyed with that, but he also understood why she was so upset. He'd basically lied to her about his intentions, and maybe it _was_ a little immature, but his honor had been insulted. She should have known that he would try to avenge himself. He knew better than to say it to her, though. He wasn't _that_ stupid.

Still, they were going home tonight, something that was more than enough to brighten his mood. All he had to do was make it through two bullshit classes, wait for Fef to get out of swim practice, and they'd be heading back for a weekend with their families, such as they were. Feferi's older sister Meenah had deigned to live at home for as long as humanly possible, but whether that was because she was simply lazy or wanted to provide moral support for their mother remained to be seen. Feferi's father had been in and out of their lives for the past twenty years, and considering this bout of "out" had lasted for almost a year now, it looked to be staying that way. (Feferi had secretly confided that she preferred it that way; her mother was financially stable on her own and her dad was, as she put it, "a bit of a tool," but Eridan saw the sad look in her eyes when she talked about him sometimes.) To Eridan's relief, Cronus had _never_ come home for the weekend. He'd said several times that he didn't mind their parents and actually kind of liked having his little brother around, but he'd never really felt like part of the family and preferred to keep a hundred miles between them at all times. Their parents agreed.

Cronus was munching happily on four slices of bacon when Eridan finished his morning routine. He poured himself a cup of coffee and hopped up on the counter, eyeing his older brother. Naturally, Cronus barely noticed until his food was gone. Then he let out a loud belch, plucked the cigarette that had been perched behind his ear, and lit it. "You stayin' here this weekend, daddy-o?" he mumbled around the cancer stick.

Eridan closed his eyes and pretended the sound of his voice didn't grate on his nerves. "Nah. Fef an' me are headin' home."

The elder Ampora nodded. "Back on Sunday?"

"That's the plan."

"Drive safe, daddy-o." Cronus stood up, ashed his cigarette out in one of the many ash trays that littered the apartment, and slouched out of the kitchen, leaving Eridan feeling a bit confused.

Genuine brotherly affection was a rare thing between them. The "drive safe" bit had never happened before, and Eridan wondered if his brother was dying and not telling him. He thought about asking but decided he was probably being paranoid and let it go. As soon as he finished off his coffee, he put his cup in the dishwasher, filled up his Thermos with more coffee, and headed out the door, snagging his backpack and duffel bag from what passed as their living room.

* * *

He was able to park right in front of the cafeteria building when he got to school. Other people had already trickled out of the parking lot, the lucky ones whose first (and most likely only) class started at seven-thirty or eight. "See you after swim practice," he called to Fef as they parted ways. She waved but otherwise didn't acknowledge him. She was still feeling a bit snippy toward him.

He drained the last of his coffee out of his Thermos on his way to class and stuck it in the side pocket of his backpack as he walked. Even though it would warm up in the afternoon, it was in the fifties right now and Eridan zipped up his hoodie all the way to the top, shoving his hands in his pockets. He wasn't built for the cold—he was made for eternal summer and the ocean and sunlight. Right now it was gray and cool, and he shivered slightly.

It was warmer in the classroom, though, so he unzipped his hoodie but left it on after he sat down. He felt like paying attention to the lecture, but it was Friday and his interest was fleeting at best. Despite the coffee coursing through his system, he felt his eyes drooping, so he propped his book up in front of him, put his head down, and napped. No one would care. It was Friday.

* * *

Sollux was at a table by the window when he saw Eridan's purple BMW park. He was almost completely certain it was his (he hadn't seen another car that color at school) but it was confirmed when he and Feferi climbed out and headed off to their respective classes. He caught Equius's eye. "Got everything?"

Equius nodded solemnly. They picked up their backpacks and headed out, Nepeta cheering behind them, "Go get 'em!"

Sollux ducked out of the front sliding doors and watched until Eridan disappeared into one of the buildings a thousand yards away. He motioned for Equius to follow him and the two of them traipsed out to the parking lot.

Eridan, the douchebag that he was, had taken care to park in a space without a car on either side, which really just made Sollux's job that much easier. Equius set down his backpack and pulled out a dolly, a piece of wood with wheels made for rolling under cars. Eridan's car didn't sit very far off the ground ("It would have been ideal if he owned an SUV or we had a lift," Equius had told him), so there was no way in Hell Equius would be able to fit under it, but the plan was for it to be Sollux anyway. However, he realized after he lay flat on the dolly that he was wrong—the car was too low for pretty much _anyone_ to fit with the dolly. "Looks like we're throwing," he sighed, standing back up.

Equius set the dolly on the grass in front of the parking space as Sollux produced two rolls of plastic wrap from his own backpack. He opened the first one, dropped the box on the ground, and unraveled about ten feet. He tied the end to the front passenger door handle and flung the rest of the roll to Equius, who stretched it taut and tossed it under the car back to Sollux. Around and around the plastic wrap went, the two of them being as careful as possible so as not to set off the alarm.

The first roll ran out a little way past the joint between the front doors and the rear doors, as Sollux suspected it would. He unrolled the second one, joined it to where the first one ended, and continued the process until they were winding the plastic wrap across the rear windshield. He _wanted_ to wrap the car from nose to tail, lengthwise down the car, but when he looked at his watch, he saw that it had been nearly an hour and Equius was sweating profusely, so this would have to do. They doubled back around on the wrap until the second roll ran out and Sollux stuffed all the trash underneath the car. He then withdrew an economy-sized bottle of dish soap and emptied the whole thing across the windows, on the handles, down the sides, smearing it into the plastic wrap. He stuck the empty bottle under the car, too. As a final touch, he pulled out a dry-erase marker and wrote across the windshield, _EA—HAVE FUN WITH_ _THIS_ _MESS! —SC_

He capped the marker, put it back in his backpack as Equius went to put the dolly back in his own car and grab a towel, and then the two of them sat on the hood until the car alarm finally went off. Laughing like a madman, Sollux followed Equius in a frenzied dash back to the cafeteria building. This was _definitely_ worth skipping his Mythology of Comic Books class.

* * *

He woke up to the faint, distant honk of a car alarm going off. He managed not to jump in his seat as he woke, slowly taking stock of his surroundings.

Class was still ongoing—apparently with another half-hour of class scheduled. That suited him just fine, since his nap had revived him. That car alarm was pretty annoying too, just loud enough to remind him it was there. He hoped whatever asshole wasn't silencing the alarm would crash their car. It was getting really old, really fast.

The alarm was still blaring when class let out, and he realized it was coming from the parking lot in front of the cafeteria. Curiosity getting the better of him, he followed the sound until the parking lot swung into view and he stared.

That was definitely _his_ car with the lights flashing and the alarm blaring. He couldn't tell from here what they—whoever _they_ were, but he had a pretty good idea who—did to the outside, but even from this distance, he could see something written on his windshield. He tore across campus, heedless of the computer and camera in his backpack, and darted past four lanes of traffic (the speed limit on campus was 15, but _still_ ). As he got closer, he slowed down until he finally stopped in front of his car.

_EA—HAVE FUN WITH THIS MESS! —SC_

Numbly, he set down his backpack, clicked his key fob to silence the alarm, and circled his car. Gingerly, he touched the plastic wrap. His fingertips came away soaked in what smelled like dish soap. He made another circuit around the car, looking more closely until he confirmed to himself that there were no other surprises waiting for him. He inspected the scrawl on his windshield—somehow, it just _looked_ like it would belong to Sollux Captor; none of the letters were even and everything was spiky, as if he could stab Eridan with his words—and touched a soap-coated finger to the period of the exclamation mark. The mark wiped away easily but left remnants on his skin like dry-erase markers. That thought relieved him.

He dropped to his knees and saw what remained of the tools of this trick. Two cardboard boxes and rolls from plastic wrap and an empty bottle of dish soap had been left under his car. The trash bugged him, but not too badly.

 _So. No lasting damage._ Well, it certainly wasn't the most original of pranks, but a good way to ensure he wasted fifteen minutes trying to cut his car free from the wrapping. Sollux had stuck to the rules: inconvenience, but no truly malicious intent. _Still_ , he thought as he dug out an X-Acto knife from his backpack and set to work carefully cutting away the plastic, _I expected more originality._

He worked for close to twenty minutes, taking extra care to ensure he didn't accidentally scrape any paint. Once he had six hundred square yards of soap-covered plastic wrap littering the concrete around his car, he straightened up and turned toward the cafeteria building.

If it was _him_ , he would have been watching to see Sollux's reaction—actually, that's exactly what he'd done on Wednesday. He scanned the windows and, sure enough, saw a familiar figure at a table near one of the windows. _Thought so_ , he said to himself, smirking.

He unlocked his car door, took a few napkins out of his glove compartment, and wiped Sollux's scribble from the windshield. He put his backpack in his car, taking a second to ensure he hadn't damaged his electronics in his scramble (he hadn't), and gathered up the trash the other boy had left behind. He made sure all the soap was facing in so it didn't smear on his clothing and he took it to the dumpster at the far end of the parking lot, not giving anywhere near enough of a damn to separate the cardboard and other recyclables today. Then he started the walk back to the cafeteria building.

* * *

Sollux hadn't been able to help his laughter when he got a good look at Eridan's face as he realized what had happened. It was too priceless, although he also expected Ampora to flip his shit. To his surprise, though, Eridan circled the car once before clearly pronouncing the car to be unharmed and calmly cleaning up the mess. He turned to look through the windows of the cafeteria, but Sollux quickly pretended to be engrossed by his textbook and didn't dare look up until about thirty seconds later. By then, Eridan was hauling the trash to the dumpster and heading back. Sollux looked back down. Now it was time to see how Ampora retaliated (which Sollux had no doubt he'd do).

He heard the footsteps approach but he didn't bother looking until the person was a foot from him. Eridan leaned down, got right in his face, and said with a smirk, "You can do better than that."

That two seconds of personal space invasion was enough for Sollux to register three things: there was no faint line around Eridan's irises, meaning they were literally purple naturally; the scent clinging to him, whether it was cologne or hair product or soap, was incredibly intoxicating; and it sounded like Eridan was issuing a challenge. And then he walked away.

As for the first two, he wasn't quite sure how he felt except his heart was racing and he had to fight the urge to watch him go and his head was spinning and _good God_ , those jeans made his ass look fantastic. He closed his eyes and mentally punched himself in the face. _Get a grip._ But the third realization made him smile. If it was a war Eridan wanted, he had one.

_Let the games begin._


	17. Act 17

Feferi towel-dried her hair as best she could after she got out of the school showers. She had rather enjoyed practice today, more so than usual, possibly because Assistant Coach Diamonds was running practice. He was less of an asshole than Coach Slick and generally let them get away with more fooling around. It was that way every Friday, though—Coach Slick would hand over control of the practice to Diamonds and sit in his back office and sleep, and Diamonds would run practice for an hour and a half and then let them do what they wanted for the last half-hour. It was a pretty sweet deal, but they were a good team, so they could afford to slack a little.

She draped her towel around her neck, shouldered her backpack, and started toward the main campus parking lot, where Eridan had parked, when she paused. Someone was leaning against the wall about thirty feet away, his head down. Someone who looked suspiciously like...

"Sollux?" she called, and the boy looked up. Definitely him. Apparently he'd been waiting for her, too, because he made a beeline right for her.

"Hey, FF."

"What's going on? It's Eridan, isn't it?" she asked.

His whole face twisted in uncertainty for a moment. "Kinda. I pranked him today. Wrapped his car in plastic wrap and covered it in dish soap."

She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to them underneath her glasses. "Oh, my _cod_ ," she murmured, "I'm never gonna hear the end of this. Okay, and?"

He sighed. "And he told me I could do better than that."

She opened her eyes, curiosity evident on her face. "What else did he say?"

Sollux shook his head. "That's it. I watched him take all the wrapping off his car, all calm and cool, and he just threw away all the trash, then he came inside and told me I could do better than that and walked away."

"Huh. That's... weird."

"So... what should I do?"

"You have the Pesterchum app, right?"

"Yeah..." The question in his voice was obvious.

"Alright, _whale,_ add me. I'm 'cuttlefishCuller.' I'll _glub_ to Eridan about it—discreetly," she added with a laugh at his suddenly-panicked face. "I won't let him know you're wondering. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. Okay?"

"Yeah, sure." He was already on his phone. "I'm 'twinArmageddons.' So, you know, you don't see some random person messaging you and freak out."

She grinned. "Okay. And... y'know, just in case you may need it later, Eridan's handle is 'caligulasAquarium.'"

He looked up as she shrugged.

"You never know. Pesterchum could be a halfway decent prank outlet," she said innocently. "Not that I'm condoning this absurd prank war or anything, but I guess if you _have_ to..."

Sollux smiled. "Thanks. I'll get him good next time."

"I have no doubt in my mind about _that_."

He waved as he walked away, and she continued on her trek to Eridan's car. When she caught sight of it, she peered at it to see if there was any evidence of Sollux's prank, but apparently Eridan really had cleaned it all up. His car looked the same as it had this morning, and Eridan was calmly sitting in the grass in front of it, pounding down a venti-sized something from Starbucks, and playing a game on his phone. "Hey, Eridan!" she said brightly, as though she hadn't just spoken to the guy who was his mortal enemy five minutes before.

He gave her a suspicious look and she almost smacked herself. This morning, she'd been ice-cold, barely saying a word to him in the car. He'd know something was up. "Hey," he said slowly, standing up and pocketing his phone. "Ready to go?"

"Yep. More than ready! I wanna go _sea_ my mom!"

He rolled his eyes. "That was a 'sea' with an 'a' in it, wasn't it?"

She gave him an exaggerated shrug. "Nautical puns. You knew what you were getting into."

Eridan snorted with laughter, unlocking the doors. "I really didn't, though."

She tossed her backpack and towel in the trunk of his car and went back around to the front. Eridan was already buckled in, so as soon as she buckled her seatbelt, he pulled out of the parking lot. For about ten minutes, they didn't exchange a word.

The quiet apparently grew too tense for Eridan to stand after that because he asked, "Anything excitin' happen today?"

She chewed on her lip. "Not _reel_ ly. Swim practice was pretty good, I guess. What about you?"

Eridan sneaked a quick glance at her. "Sol pranked me."

"Really?" She hoped she sounded sufficiently surprised and not like she hadn't already heard this before. "What did he do?"

"Wrapped the car in Glad Wrap and Palmolive. Left me a nasty little note on the windshield. Nothin' too terrible. I was a li'l disappointed, to be honest."

"Disappointed?"

"I expected more... _more_ from him."

"More more?" she asked, realizing she sounded like a broken record or a parrot.

"A li'l more style, I guess. More originality. The execution was flawless, but the overall prank was mediocre."

"So what happened?"

He shifted in his seat, whether out of physical or mental discomfort she couldn't say. "I told him to try again. I know he's smarter than all that. He's up to the challenge."

Feferi sat back, eyeballing him and trying to figure out what he hoped to accomplish with this. Sometimes he could be a little screwy.

"What?"

"Just trying to get a feel for what exactly is going on with you two."

He raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

" _Whale_... you claim to hate the guy, but—"

"I don't seem to recall me sayin' I hate him, Fef."

"You _act_ like it. You were all pissed-off on Monday until Wednesday. Sure seems like you don't actually like him."

"Not likin' someone ain't the same as hatin' someone."

"Fair point. Let me clarify. It seems like you two aren't about to be _fronds_ in the near future—or at all—but you're cool with him playing pranks on you to the point where you're grading his performance. Doesn't that seem a little weird?"

"I'm not gonna have a shitty nemesis, Fef."

" _Nemesis_? Are you _serious_? You're doing this to have a freaking _enemy_?!"

They were at a red light, so he was able to take his hands off the wheel to give her an exaggerated shrug. _"Yeah,_ so?"

"Whatever." Mostly to gauge his reaction, she added, "I don't know—if I didn't know any better, I'd say you have a crush on the guy."

A muscle in Eridan's jaw twitched. "I'm _straight_ ," he grumbled. "I don't have a fuckin' _crush_ on Sollux Captor. Besides, even if I _was_ gay, I think I'd have better taste than him."

"He seems to be a decent enough rival," she said innocently.

"Yeah, well, I don't wanna fuck my rival," he spat.

Feferi fell asleep twenty minutes later, but drifted awake every now and again, just long enough to send a Pesterchum message to twinArmageddons.

_CC: )(ey Sollux! W)(at's up?_

_TA: nothiing much headiing home for the weekend. you?_

_CC: Same )(ere! Do you go )(ome every weekend?_

_TA: ii go home every day_

_TA: waiit you mean back two my parent2' hou2e?_

_TA: ?_

_TA: 2tiill there?_

_CC: SORRY! I K-E-EP FALLING ASL-E-EP!_

_CC: Yea)(, not w)(erever you live w)(ile you're at sc)(ool! Unless t)(at IS w)(ere you live!_

_CC: W)(ic)( I'm assuming it's not_

_TA: yeah no ii generally 2tay at my apartment ii go home 2ometiime2 but mo2tly ii avoiid iit_

_CC: W)(y?_

_TA: …_

_TA: long 2tory ii don't liike talkiing about iit_

_CC: Fair enoug)(. W)(ale, I talked to Eridan and )(e said a lot of stupid stuff t)(at I didn't really understand but_

_TA: liike what_

_CC: Like I guess )(e sees you as )(is rival or some carp like t)(at._

_TA: the dude clearly ha2 ii22ue2_

_TA: …_

_TA: fall a2leep agaiin?_

_CC: SORRY SORRY SORRY! Swim practice kicked my gills today!_

_CC: 38D but I won't deny )(e )(as issues!_

_CC: But )(e is also my best frond and it's my job to keep )(im out of trouble!_

_TA: what el2e diid he 2ay_

_TA: anythiing_

_TA: liike what the fuck diid he mean by 'you can do better than that' cuz that'2 what'2 really throwiing me off_

_CC: W)(ale, based on t)(e t)(ings )(e's told me, )(e expects you to try again!_

_CC: I guess )(e's giving you a c)(ance to play a better prank on )(im_

_CC: I don't get it but w)(atever!_

_TA: huh weiird. got any iidea2 cuz ii'm ba2iically fre2h out_

_CC: Not off t)(e top of my )(ead but if I t)(ink of somet)(ing, I'll let you know!_

_TA: cool thank2_

_TA: hey by the way_

_CC: Y-ES? 38D_

_TA: what'2 up wiith the parenthe2e2 tho2e are really triippiing me up_

_CC: O)( w)(ale t)(ey look like t)(e Pisces symbol!_

_CC: W)(ic)( is relevant because I am a Pisces!_

_CC: T)(at's )(ow Eridan picked )(is )(andle, too!_

_TA: he'2 a pii2ce2 two_

_CC: O)( no sorry )(e's an Aquarius. )(ence t)(e "aquarium" part of )(is )(andle._

_TA: what about the caliigula thiing_

_CC: )(e never really explained t)(at to me_

_CC: W)(at about YOUR little quirk? Doubling your Is and replacing your Ss wit)( 2s?_

_TA: and ii replace every 'to' or 'too' wiith 'two' but yeah. ii never really thought about iit iit ju2t 2eemed two feel riight. whiich ii2 kiinda weiird now that ii thiink about iit 2iince ii'm a gemiinii a2 iit happen2_

_CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e w)(ale it can be a bit )(ard to read too so don't knock my quirk!_

_TA: yeah ii get that a lot KK complaiin2 about iit all the tiime_

_CC: KK?_

_TA: karkat vanta2 2ometiime2 ii forget not everyone know2 who ii know_

_CC: Vantas?_

_CC: Does )(e )(ave a younger brother named Kankri, about 18?_

_TA: yeah_

_CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB )(-E'S ON T)(-E SWIM T-EAM WIT)( M-E! T)(AT IS SO COOL!_

_CC: GLUB GLUB GLUB!_

_TA: the la2t tiime ii 2aw hiim he wa2 liike 16 he'2 a 2quiirelly liittle guy_

_CC: Yep, I guess )(e's a little odd!_

_CC: But )(e's pretty nice, too!_

_TA: alriight 2o_

_TA: devii2e another prank two pull on ampora_

_TA: thii2 ii2 my goal for the weekend_

_CC: Good luck!_

* * *

After Feferi shook herself awake for the final time, they pulled into her driveway and got out. She yawned, stretched, and went to the back seat to get her overnight bag out of Eridan's car as he did the same. It was only after she'd slung her back over her shoulder that she realized that the driveway was devoid of cars aside from her mother's, Eridan's, and her own.

"Meenah's not home," she observed, and Eridan cast his gaze to the street to confirm that it was the case.

"She's _always_ home," he objected, as if her absence was a personal affront.

"She's probably out getting something for my mom." She led the way to the front door and knocked, sparing a second to glance out to where the sun was starting to disappear over the dense copse of trees that surrounded her house on three sides. Actually, _house_ was a bit of an understatement. It was more of a mansion, something that most of her childhood friends found a bit intimidating (and then, later, the perfect party house, despite the fact that she'd only held one wild high school party here). Eridan was the only exception, though, since his parents were almost as wealthy as her mother.

"Feferi!" her mother said cheerfully, opening the door and wrapping her younger daughter in a warm embrace. "I missed you last weekend! And Eridan, I missed you too!" she added, stepping outside to hug him as well. "Did you have a good drive?"

"Long an' borin'," he joked. "Fef was no company—she kept falling asleep."

"I have no idea _how_ , since you kept starting and stopping so fast it gave me whiplash," she shot back.

"Come on in, guys. Are you hungry? I can make some pizza! I still have that soy cheese from the last time you were home."

Feferi pulled a face. "Ew, Mom, that stuff's like two months old! You need to get rid of it!"

"Oh, I'm sure we can find something else for you."

Eridan followed them into the house for a moment. "I'm just gonna use the shower real quick—we're fixin' my hair tonight an' I need to get the gel out."

"Alright!" Ms. Peixes said, giving him a wave. "I'm sure we'll still be deciding what to have by the time you finish."

Eridan chuckled to himself. He had no doubt that she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY BRAIN FELL ASLEEP WHILE WRITING THE PESTERLOG AND I COMPLETELY BOTCHED BOTH SOLLUX AND FEFERI'S QUIRKS GAHHH I FEEL LIKE SUCH A MORON RIGHT NOW PLEASE FORGIVE ME AND IF I DIDN'T CATCH EVERY MISTAKE, LET ME KNOW SO I CAN FIX IT!


	18. Act 18

It was a huge pain in the ass to scrub the gel from his hair without using shampoo (which, followed so quickly by a dyeing, a bleaching, and another dyeing was a sure way to kill his hair), but he'd mastered it after nearly two years of the same thing. Eridan could have just as easily (if not more easily) foregone the product this morning, but the thought of going out with unstyled hair had been "fuckin' unconscionable," as he put it to Feferi, so here he was eight hours later, scrubbing his hair clean with only water. It took him forty-five minutes, after which he had to comb out his hair to ensure all the gel was gone and blow-dry it, but within an hour, he was traipsing back down the stairs of Feferi's house with his duffel bag over his shoulder again.

When he got to the kitchen, she and her mother were elbow-deep in what looked like the beginnings of a vegan lasagna. It was Fef's favorite home-cooked meal, something that was sure to put her in a good mood. This would only make her less likely to smear dye on his face (he loved purple, but he didn't relish the idea of walking around all weekend with purple skin), and for that, he was grateful.

"Want some help?" he asked, hopping up on the counter a few feet from where they were working. Feferi flung a dish towel at him.

"No, fish, we're almost done. Besides, you can't cook anyway." She was calling him "fish" again. Normally, he'd be annoyed, but this at least meant he was returning to her good graces.

"Everyone can cook," Ms. Peixes said in a way that was probably meant to be chastising but came out more playful than anything. "It all depends on direction, and _I_ happen to be an excellent director. If you guys come over for dinner tomorrow, I can show you."

Maybe if he picked up a bit of cooking skill, he could actually get Cronus to eat some real food as opposed to takeout every night. He was sure his parents would appreciate that. They still cared about Cronus, even if they weren't entirely assured of his sanity (nor was Eridan, for that matter). "That sounds like a good idea."

"Could you set the table, Eridan?" Ms. Peixes added, pointing toward the drawer where the cutlery was stored.

"Sure." He hopped off the counter and went to the drawer. "Four, right?"

"No, just three. Meenah's not here."

Feferi slammed the oven door and whirled around in a blur of dark hair and tyrian purple. "Where is she?" she demanded.

"She went to go see her boyfriend."

"Since when does Meenah have a boyfriend?" She was serious—she hadn't taken the opportunity to replace "boyfriend" with "boy _frond_." Eridan went on setting the table, watching carefully.

Ms. Peixes shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "A month or so. I don't think it's too serious yet."

"Okay, well, is he nice?" Feferi asked, leaning against the counter. It seemed as though her legs were about to give out with the way she held herself up.

"I don't know. I haven't met him," her mother said mildly. She reached above Eridan's head, brought down three plates, and handed them to him as Fef let out a tiny shocked sound.

"You—you _haven't met him_?!"

"Feferi, calm down," she said with a laugh. "Your sister is twenty-four years old. She can have a boyfriend without her old mom judging her every move. It could be good for her—Lord knows she didn't leave the house much for awhile there. At least she's doing _something_ besides fretting."

"Well, what's his name?"

"She hasn't told me."

Feferi closed her eyes and gave an annoyed whimper. After a moment, she sucked in a deep breath through her nose, exhaled, opened her eyes, and crossed her arms over her chest. "So if she wasn't leaving the house, how did she meet him?"

Eridan almost laughed at the serious expression on her face but quickly turned his head to keep her from seeing. He wasn't quite sure why she was freaking out, but it was funny to witness.

"She said they went to high school together. They reconnected through Facebook. Why are you so worried about your sister's well-being, anyway? She can take care of herself."

"I know, but... she's supposed to be here for you," Feferi said, practically whining.

"Be—Feferi, honey. I don't need my daughters to take care of me. I know you love me and you worry about me, but I am _also_ an adult. I'm going to be okay." She crossed the kitchen to the oven and set the timer, something Feferi had neglected to do. As soon as she had, she took Feferi's face in her hands and lightly kissed her forehead. "I don't want to keep you girls from having your own lives, okay? You deserve to be happy, just like your old mom, and I won't have _either_ of you clucking after me like a pair of hens. That's _my_ job, okay?"

Feferi sighed. "Okay. I just... a _month_? I had no idea."

"Well, you would if you came home more often," she said playfully. "She's been home the last two weeks—you could have asked her then."

"Well, last weekend, this butt over here had a class project to do," Feferi said with mock sharpness, gesturing to Eridan. "And the weekend before that, I was pretty sick. I did not want to leave for _anything_."

And the weekend before _that_ , she'd had her own class project, but that hadn't stopped Eridan from going home. It had been awhile since they were home at the same time.

"I was just kidding, honey. But seriously, your sister will be fine. She's a big girl."

* * *

After they ate dinner, he and Feferi headed up to the bathroom with both boxes of hair dye in hand. Eridan stripped off his shirt and glasses and perched on the edge of the bathtub while Feferi donned the plastic gloves that came with the black dye and mixed the solution. Before she covered his hair with it, though, she smeared a generous amount of Vaseline across his hairline to keep his skin from staining. She had to keep pushing his bangs back to get at it because without gel, they always fell into his eyes. It was one of the reasons he always had product in his hair, besides his general dislike of haircuts. He knew he'd have to get one soon, though—it was getting a bit long by now.

"Hold still," she said, and began applying the dye to his roots.

He closed his eyes and tried to remain motionless, focusing on the soothing sensation of having his scalp rubbed. It was pretty nice, all things considered. He was very nearly lulled into a doze when it stopped and Feferi inspected nearly every strand of hair at the root. "Okay, you're all set for right now. Ten minutes and we can do the rest."

Once the ten minutes had passed, she put the rest of the dye on the already-black hair so the color would match. He waited another fifteen minutes, rinsed, put in the conditioner that came with the dye, and then perched once more on the edge of the bathtub. Now came the hard part.

Feferi switched her gloves, mixed up the bleach, and knelt in front of him. "Hold still," she instructed him again, as if he didn't already know by now. They'd done this almost two dozen times.

The bleach stung at his scalp as she applied it to the roots beneath the purple streak. He closed his eyes and held as still as possible, but his eyes still watered from the chemicals. He'd be much happier once this was all over.

The bleach had to set for thirty minutes before he could rinse it, but after that, it was easier. Feferi brushed in the purple, trying to keep it just to the area that she'd bleached, but she didn't have to be as careful as she did with the actual bleach—the purple wouldn't show up against the black. That had to stay on for another twenty-five minutes, and after he rinsed the last of the color out of his hair and rubbed more post-color conditioner through his hair, waited two minutes, and rinsed _that_ out, it was finally over. He toweled off his hair but didn't bother to blow-dry it again. He wasn't sure his hair could take much more abuse in one night. Still, when he got to look at his hair, he was happy with how it turned out. It was a decided improvement over a half-inch of roots showing.

He yawned. "What time did you wanna go to the beach tomorrow?"

She was sitting on the floor, her legs drawn up to her chest with her arms around them. "I want to leave by ten I think. We can pack some sandwiches and have lunch there."

"So leave my house at five, got it," he joked.

She playfully kicked at his leg. "Nah, we can just leave." She rested her head against her knees. "It'll be nice to actually be able to go to the beach again."

"We got beaches near school, you know."

"Yeah, but I can never get to them. The buses don't go out there so I have to ask you for a ride and you're almost always busy." She sighed. "It's not really an ideal situation."

"Hopefully it'll be warm enough."

"It will. I know it will."

* * *

He put his shirt and glasses back on and said goodnight to Feferi and her mom before he went back to his own house for the night. His parents were used to him coming home only after he'd exhausted his welcome at the Peixeses', and he didn't doubt that they'd see his car in the driveway tomorrow morning and know to make him breakfast. They always went to bed fairly early now though (his mother was well into her fifties and his dad was sixty-one; he'd been what his brother called a "happy accident"), so he didn't plan on seeing them tonight. It was just as well—he wouldn't be great company. He was tired from the drive and the whole day in general, and he had a lot on his mind anyway.

Sure enough, the house was dark when he pulled up. He parked and grabbed his duffel bag and backpack, went to the front door, and fitted his house key into the lock. The door opened smoothly and from across the hallway, he heard the beeping of the security system. He set his bags down, punched in the code ("ACCEPTED" flashed across the screen), and looked around the hall. Everything was just as he remembered it.

He tore a sheet of paper out of one of his notebooks and scrawled a note across it for his parents. _Mom and Dad, Got home safe. Went to bed. Didn't want to wake you. Wake me up at eight—Feferi wants to go to the beach tomorrow. —Eridan_

He picked up his bags again and ascended the stairs, creeping past his parents room and sliding his note under their door. No doubt his dad would find it in about four hours when he got up to visit the bathroom. He just hoped his dad wouldn't inadvertently wake him.

Cronus's old bedroom and adjoining bathroom separated his room from the master suite, but even if it hadn't, the Amporas had a penchant for soundproofing things. Soundproofing didn't do a whole lot when your older brother played his shitty records at their highest, most ear-splitting decibel, but it saved them both from a lot of childhood trauma where their parents were concerned. Cronus was of the opinion that they probably had about ten more brothers and sisters hiding somewhere, but Eridan sincerely hoped not. The two of them had been a handful as it was.

He changed into his pajamas and crawled into bed, exhaustion tugging at his body, but sleep wouldn't come. It had been a strange week, that was for sure. Monday and Wednesday and then today had been a lot to handle, and not the least of his thoughts revolved around Sollux. A good, genuine nemesis was pretty hard to find—most people were so damn concerned with being polite and well-liked that a real enemy was almost unheard-of. But everything about Sollux pissed him off from the first moment he got a good look at him. It was satisfying that the feeling seemed to be mutual—he'd pretty much proved that when he emptied that cup of soda over his head.

He laughed to himself at that. He supposed he would have to thank Terezi for making that comment about Sollux in the first place, the one about him being bisexual. It left him pretty much the perfect opening for his witty response.

Sol hadn't denied it, either. He'd actually confirmed it when he told Terezi he didn't want to be outed to strangers. That was... well, he didn't know what exactly it was, but he wondered. Sol was his age, after all. Eridan couldn't help wondering what his sexual experiences had been like. Had he needed to have sex with a guy to confirm it to himself, or had he just always known? What about with a girl? He had a pretty innate sense for picking virgins out of a crowd and Sollux didn't strike him as one, but he'd been wrong before. Still, he could see some pretty girl or boy groping at him in the dark one night while his parents slept on, completely oblivious. Or maybe it was the other way around, with Sol taking control because he already knew what he liked.

Unconsciously, Eridan licked his lips. Sollux was a skinny little bastard, but from what he'd seen of him, Eridan had no doubt that he was capable of dominating someone. The thought sent a thrill down his spine, but by the time he realized he was half-hard, he was already idly stroking himself. _What the Hell am I doing?!_

As if the thought couldn't stand being ignored, it forced its way back to the front of his mind and there was Sollux again, rutting against some faceless boy, and Eridan didn't care anymore. He could practically hear their moans ringing in his ears and see how badly Sol wanted to fuck him. A tiny whimper escaped his throat and he kept masturbating, not caring that he was thing about Sollux Captor and some guy, not caring about anything at all except those lush lips Sol had and those gorgeously mismatched eyes that would probably haunt him to his grave. "Oh, _fuck_..." he murmured, biting his lip as he came, a bit sooner than he expected.

The orgasm sent a wave of endorphins through him, but the moment was killed when he remembered that he was sticky with his own come and he'd just jerked off thinking about a guy. _There has to be something wrong with me_ , he thought bitterly.

He cleaned himself up as best he could, decided he was going to take another shower in the morning (which he had been contemplating anyway), and rolled over. Even so, it was still another hour of tossing and turning before he finally fell asleep.


	19. Act 19

Sollux wanted desperately to ignore the knock on his door, but that would have been a terrible idea so he got up from his laptop to answer. He hovered by the door and paused; he couldn't help feeling like he was forgetting something. The knocking was persistent, though, so he finally gave up and opened the door.

Aradia bounded in, gave him a hug, and stepped back abruptly, looking him over. "Well, my motto is 'People who wear pants at home can't be trusted.' Glad to see I can trust you."

He looked down. _Fuck!_ He _had_ forgotten to put on pants. "In my defense, I wasn't expecting company," he grumbled, but she just ruffled his hair affectionately.

"It's fine, I'm just messing with you. But we didn't really get to hang out this week, so I figured I'd drop by. I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" she added with a grin.

"What could you conceivably be interrupting?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"I don't know—you could have some hot girl that I don't know about squirreled away here."

He snorted with laughter. "I think you overestimate what constitutes my charm."

"Not at all!"

"Don't you have your own boyfriend to hang out with?"

She'd been heading to the sofa, but she whirled around. "He's not my boyfriend! Not yet, anyway," she said, blushing. "But we talk a lot... He's on Pesterchum."

"So's FF. She..." His voice trailed off. He wasn't quite sure how to tell her about what happened.

"Yes?" she cajoled. "She what?"

"Well, I talked to her after her swim practice yesterday. She told me she'd figure out what's up with ED, and she did."

Aradia blinked. "What the Hell did I miss?"

"I pranked him yesterday. With EQ's help."

"Okay, and what did you do?" She perched on the arm of the sofa, her eyes never leaving him as he leaned against the wall with a sigh.

"Wrapped his car in plastic and dish soap."

She laughed, doubling over and holding her sides. She managed to choke out, "Oh, my God!... How pissed-off was he?"

"Um. Not at all."

That shut her up. "What do you mean?"

"Like, he just really calmly took all the plastic off and threw it away. And here's the weirdest part. After he cleaned up the mess, he found where I was sitting and came over and leaned in real close and said, 'You can do better than that.' And then he just walked away."

Aradia looked intrigued. She gave him a mischievous smirk. "So how close _was_ he?"

"Like... sit."

She flopped backwards onto the cushion and turned to sit properly. "Okay?"

He leaned in so their faces were inches apart. "This close."

"Oh, wow, that is _really_ close," she laughed.

"Yeah."

Her grin went from mischievous to flat-out evil. "So, was it an instant full boner or were you just half-masting it?"

He opened and closed his mouth several times before he finally found words. "I can't believe you would ask me that."

"You're right, I'm sorry. It was a raging erection, of course."

He smacked his forehead so hard he nearly gave himself a concussion.

"I'm just kidding, Sollux, relax. But you can't honestly tell me you weren't at least a _little_ turned on, right? Like I bet he said it all quietly so you'd pretty much have to lean in closer to hear him, right?"

He hoped he wasn't blushing. "Yeah, pretty much." He shrugged. "It was a little hot, I guess." There was no way he could tell her he'd practically been drooling over Eridan's ass, though. He'd never hear the end of it.

She just laughed like she could tell what he was thinking and hopped off the sofa. "So you talked to Feferi?"

"Yeah. And she said that ED sees me as his rival or some shit like that and he wants me to prank him again."

"I see. He wants you to prove you're worthy to be his nemesis."

Sollux sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

"So do you want to?"

"Want to what?"

"Be his nemesis?"

He shrugged. "Hadn't really thought about it. It's a bit of a strange relationship, but the idea of being able to pull shit on someone who wants me to fuck with him is kind of cool."

"So you're basically okay with him being your hate-boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend with _any_ modifier."

"Not yet. But if he wants you to prank him again, it almost seems like he's hate-courting you."

Sollux closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. "Okay, I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. I need to put on pants if we're going to continue this conversation—which I hope we won't."

"Like you've never had a boner around me before," she laughed.

"That wasn't my fault!" he called, heading to his bedroom.

Even with his sleeping medication, it had taken him hours to fall asleep the night before. Something had dug into the back of his brain and sunk its claws in, leaving him tossing and turning until almost midnight. He'd given up around eleven and played _The Sims 3_ until an hour later, when sleep had finally kicked in. His room was still in disarray, but he was able to find a clean pair of pants. After putting them on, he looked around his room and made a mental promise to clean it up later—he just didn't care right now.

He rubbed his left eye, half-convinced he could still feel the contact lens digging into his eyeball, but it was probably just a reaction to not wearing it like he usually did. He couldn't wait to get out of the habit of wearing it—if the glasses Equius and his brother were making for him were made correctly, he could wear them and not have anyone tell that he had mismatched eyes. It would be nice to not have to worry about that every day.

Aradia had turned the TV on when he returned to the living room. He mentally sighed with relief and sat down, grateful for the distraction. At least they wouldn't be returning to their conversation.

"So he wants you to prank him again. Any ideas?"

 _Fuck._ "Not really. I have no idea where the one I had even came from. FF said if she thought of something, she'd let me know, though."

"Can she be trusted?"

"I think so. I mean, she didn't really want ED to prank me in the first place. I think she's counting on me thrashing his immature ass."

"Well, then, we have to think of a really good prank. We may not be able to do it on Monday, though."

"When were you thinking?"

"Late this week or early next week, probably. But first we actually have to _think_ of something."

"Yeah, good luck with that."

* * *

Eridan woke up to a sharp rapping on his door. He mumbled something incoherently from under his blanket.

"Want me to let you sleep?" his father called from the other side.

Eridan rolled over and fumbled for his phone. Eight o'clock, right on time. "No. Be down in a bit."

"Alright. I'm making French toast for breakfast if you're interested."

"Yeah. Sounds good."

He heard his father's footsteps retreating down the hallway and then down the stairs, and for a minute, he wondered why he felt so strange. There was a lingering sense of internalized disgust that he couldn't quite place until he remembered what he'd done the night before.

He let out a groan and buried his face in the pillow. _Fuck._ He wished he could scrub that particular memory from his mind.

Feeling more in need of a shower than he had moments ago, he threw off his blankets, rolled out of bed, put on his glasses, and stripped his sheets. At Cronus's apartment, he had to do his own laundry, but at home, his parents had a maid service that did all their laundry and most of their cleaning. The only staff his dad refused to get was a cook; he did all the cooking himself. Much like Feferi's mother, it was one of his talents.

He tossed his sheets into the laundry basket and went to the bathroom to shower. After a more abbreviated shower than he would have liked, he got dressed and headed downstairs.

Cinnamon seemed to fill the kitchen, but it was a welcome scent. It smelled like home. Not like Cronus's apartment with the stench of marijuana and cigarettes sunk into every surface. Home smelled clean, safe. He felt himself smiling slightly as he sat down across from his mother.

After a moment, she peered over the top of her newspaper, glasses flashing in the overhead light. "Which one of our sons is this?" she asked Mr. Ampora, but her tone was teasing and Eridan knew she was smiling.

"Offspring Unit 2.0," his father answered, flipping over three slices of French toast at once.

"The only one who _ever_ comes to see you," Eridan joked.

"Oh, _that_ one. Well, Offspring Unit 2.0, how is 1.0?"

That was always the first question she directed at him. They always asked about Cronus, as if inquiring after him would negate his absence. "He's fine. Same as usual."

"Still has a job?"

"As far as I know."

"Is he seeing anyone?"

"Not as far as I know."

"Has he contracted any life-threatening illnesses?"

"I don't think so."

"Gotten anyone pregnant?"

"Fuck, I hope not."

She swatted at him with her newspaper; he'd forgotten she had a thing about swearing. "Any other assorted financial, emotional, or physical issues not listed here that we might need to be aware of?"

"He's fine," Eridan repeated.

"Hear that?" she asked his dad. "Cronus is fine."

None of his answers had changed in the year and a half he'd been living with Cronus. Everything had stayed the same except for how long it had been since Cronus had been home. It was almost sad—he didn't even think they'd spoken since he left home. Eridan supposed he'd be in therapy for it later, but right now, it was just funny. Besides, he'd be able to afford the counseling in ten or fifteen years. "I'm tryin' to get him to eat better instead a' gettin' takeout every night. An' I'm tryin' to get him to quit smokin', but that's just 'cause I can't stand the smell," he added with a shrug.

"Well, hopefully he listens." His mother set down her newspaper and lifted a mug of coffee to her lips. She took a sip and said, "There's more in the coffeepot if you want some. You look like you need it."

He let out another yawn in spite of himself and nodded. "Yeah, definitely." He got up from the table and rummaged for a mug until his dad said slyly, "Since you're up, why don't you set the table?"

He nearly thunked his head on the counter. _Smooth, Mom. Very smooth._ The impulse to let out the worst obscenity he could think of was almost overwhelming, but all that he said was, "Curses!" Then he sucked in a deep breath, brought down a mug and three plates, and poured himself a cup of coffee. "Yeah, give me a second." He took a long drink from his mug, heedless of the heat, and set it back down on the counter before picking up the plates and setting the table. He went back for the silverware and another drink after that, and followed that with grabbing the butter and syrup. Once the table was all set, he sat back down, mug in hand.

"How's school going?" his mother asked when he was seated again.

"Fine. Just got an A last week on a Bio project I had." Which got him thinking about Karkat, which led right to Sollux. He wanted to hop off this train of thought as soon as possible.

"That's great! What about your photography class?"

"Aced everythin' so far. It's cake."

"Good. And Feferi's doing okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine."

Eridan's dad cut in, sliding two pieces of French toast on each plate before setting the pan down on a cool burner. "Isn't it going to be a little cold for the beach today?"

Eridan shrugged. "I probably won't be swimmin', but Fef could go out there in December and not care. I'll bring an extra hoodie for her, but I won't count on her wearin' it." He took a bite of the French toast and grinned. "This is the most amazin' thing I've eaten in two weeks. Apart from the lasagna last night," he added.

"Thanks, kiddo," his dad said. He reached out and affectionately ruffled Eridan's hair.

Eridan brushed his hair behind his ears and continued eating.


	20. Act 20

When Eridan pulled up into Feferi's driveway, she was sitting on her front steps with a beach bag beside her and her goggles around her head as some kind of bizarre headband/crown combination. As soon as he started slowing, she grabbed her bag and bounded off the steps, yelling over her shoulder, "Bye, Mom! Be back later!" Eridan could see Ms. Peixes waving from a window while Feferi popped open the passenger door and climbed in. "Hey! How was your morning?"

"Pretty good."

"Your mom do the whole third degree thing about your brother?"

"Like always."

Fef giggled and dug around for something in her bag. "Nice to see _someone_ hasn't changed!" She pulled out a fuchsia-colored beach towel and unbuckled her seatbelt. She twisted around and draped the towel lengthwise over her seat, sat back on it, and grabbed a bottle of sunblock. "It's supposed to be really sunny today," she said by way of explanation.

"Well, thanks for puttin' down the towel." He didn't relish the thought of sunblock being smeared on his leather seats.

"Yep! I got your best interests at heart!"

He scoffed at that but didn't answer. Sometimes he wondered. He chanced a peek at her as she rubbed sunblock on her arms and neck, trying to decide if now might be a good time to tell her. It would be easy— _"Fef, I like you as more than friends, an' I was hopin' you felt the same."_ But the words stuck in his throat.

"Quit being a creeper," she said mildly.

 _Maybe she knows already._ But if she did know, he couldn't tell how she felt about it. That by itself was enough to keep him silent; if he told her and she didn't like him back, she might not want to be friends with him anymore, and at this point, he would much rather stay quiet and stay her friend than lose her forever. Maybe it was better this way.

The beach was a good half an hour away, but considering it was halfway through October, there weren't that many other cars heading their way, and when they actually got to the beach, the parking lot was maybe a quarter full. In the summer, it would always be packed and they'd have to fight to get their surfboards past the throngs of people in the sand, but the waves right now sucked and all Feferi wanted to do was swim anyway. When they got out of the car, the air had a slight bite to it and a shiver spread across Eridan's skin, but Feferi didn't seem to notice the cold. She hoisted her beach bag over her shoulder, draped her towel around her neck, and awkwardly charged to the waterline, her mad dash impeded somewhat by the fuchsia-colored flip-flops she wore.

Eridan had chosen sneakers without socks. He knew there was no way he was making it through today without sand covering every inch of him, but that wouldn't be so bad if he stayed dry. If he got wet, though, the sand would stick to him and make his car a mess, and he wanted to avoid that if possible. He'd probably have to hose Fef off before he let her back into the car. Still, he flung his own towel around his neck like a scarf and followed her out into the sandy beyond, where she seemed determined to scope out the best place to set her belongings down.

She took one look at him and nearly collapsed with laughter. "You look like a tool! Take that off—it's embarrassing!"

"Embarrassin' you or me?" he asked, flinging the trailing end around his neck for emphasis. "I feel no embarrassment whatsoever." He stood up straight and put his hands on his hips, and the sight had her doubling over again.

"Oh, my _cod_ , Eridan, please stop," she laughed, tears streaming down her face. She reached out to tug at his makeshift scarf, perhaps to unwind it from his neck, but he took a step back quickly and she lost her balance. Before he could even think to react, she'd pitched forward, and, with a shriek, faceplanted right into the sand.

For half a second, he wondered if she'd be mad for laughing, but he didn't have time to wonder for long because he almost fell over himself, crying with laughter. Feferi lay there for a few moments and from under the sand, he heard her groan before she finally lifted her head. His laughter had nearly died away by then and he struggled to contain himself. She was glaring at him with her face covered in sand apart from where her glasses had been (now stuck in the sand where she'd fallen) and sand stuck in her hair, and he lost it all over again. His legs simply gave out and he sat down hard in front of her, chest aching from laughter. She spat out a mouthful of sand at him and _that_ was finally enough to curb his giggles.

" _Glub_ off," she grumbled, rolling over and brushing off her knee-length skirt. That was how he knew she wasn't really angry—she'd used a fish pun instead of telling him to fuck off.

Eridan sucked in two deep breaths before unwinding the scarf from around his neck and using it to brush the sand from her hair. "That _was_ kind a' funny, you have to admit."

"I guess," she said grudgingly. She reached behind her for her glasses to inspect the damage. Fortunately, the glass wasn't cracked—the frames were a little bent, but that was easy to fix. She set them in her bag, laid out her beach towel, and shimmied out of her skirt and shirt. "There's an easier way to get the sand off," she pointed out, adjusting her goggles over her eyes. "I'll be back in a bit." She stood up and ran to the waterline, going under as soon as the water was deep enough.

He laid out his own towel and peeled off his shirt to use as a pillow. It was still cold, but now there were trees in between the sand and the parking lot to block the wind and he was right in the sun, so he didn't shiver. He took off his glasses and closed his eyes, but now that Feferi wasn't here anymore, there was nothing to distract him.

He didn't even want to think about Sollux, but his head was apparently in no mood to listen because he was the only thing Eridan could think about. _It didn't actually happen_ , he told himself. _I dreamed it. It doesn't mean anything. And even if it did, he's a dick. I have_ way _better taste than Sol Captor._

He sighed without meaning to. No matter what he told himself, doubt lingered at the back of his mind. _It'll go away, though. Just ignore it and it'll go away. Besides, there's Fef._ But there wasn't. Not until he found the words to tell her what was really in his heart, but that might never happen. But there had to be _some_ reason neither of them had dated anyone else (his fling with Vriska had been a mistake, and Feferi didn't know about that, so as far as she was concerned, they'd both been single for the extent of their friendship). Was she waiting for him to make the first move or was she hoping he wouldn't? It was all so needlessly complicated, and he wished he didn't like her so much. If he cared a little less, it would be so much easier for him to tell her, and if she didn't return his feelings, he could walk away like it never mattered at all. But it did matter and he was afraid of what that meant.

He wished he could talk about it with his best friend, but she was the whole problem. It wasn't fair. He wasn't great at making friends, either, so it wasn't like he could randomly go up to someone else and spill his guts. When all was said and done, the only thing he could do was wait for a better time, for better words.

* * *

"Come on, when was the last time we actually _did_ something?" Aradia whined, tugging on Sollux's arm.

"Last Sunday."

"With _other people_ ," she continued in the same tone.

"Last Sunday," he repeated. "With TZ. You invited yourself over, remember?"

"Come on, it was her birthday on Thursday! You have to come! Everyone will be there!"

Sollux raised an eyebrow. "Who's 'everyone'?"

"Well, Terezi, for one. I think she invited your friend Karkat, and he's bringing a couple of people, and I asked Nepeta if she and Equius would come and I think she bullied him into saying yes. I invited Kanaya, too, so you have someone to keep you company in your misery! Come on, you're one of Terezi's best friends! You have to come along!"

Sollux closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll do it, but I won't like it."

"Trust me, neither will anyone else."

That was how Sollux found himself squished in the backseat of Equius's Suburban with Nepeta (who must have weighed all of about a hundred and twenty pounds) on his lap and Karkat squished (although not quietly) between him and John Egbert. Aradia and Rose Lalonde were next to Equius in the front seat, and Terezi was on her way to the same club as them with her sister and her sister's boyfriend. Dave Strider, Kanaya, and Tavros Nitram were also on their way in Gamzee Makara's tiny Focus (he was one of the other rich kids who was able to afford his own car). It promised to be a fun-filled night, and Sollux prayed it was over quickly.

It only got worse when Equius parked between Gamzee's purple car (not the same blinding purple shade as Eridan's BMW, but definitely a custom job) and the Jeep Rubicon that Terezi was climbing out of. She waved, grinning wickedly, and called, "Hey, guys!" She pointed to the two people who were also hopping out and added, "That's my sister Latula and her boyfriend Mituna!"

 _No. Fuck, no._ FUCK _, no!_ He tried to tell himself that Terezi had _not_ just said "Mituna," but there he was, his mirror image waving at him like a loon and several people did a double take. "Can someone please take me home?" he grumbled, slouching in his seat so those gathered outside the cars couldn't see him.

Nepeta practically pounced on him. "He looks just like you!" she said excitedly.

"He should. He's my fucking twin."

Aradia had a hand over her mouth and she looked to be trying not to laugh. "I'm so sorry—I had no idea who Latula's boyfriend was!"

The rest of them piled out of the car and into the night air while Sollux stretched out on the backseat and flung his arm over his eyes. He didn't care if they left him in here all night—there was just too many people and one of them was his twin brother who he loved, he really did, but he didn't really _like_ the guy. It was not funny in the slightest.

The door at his head opened up and a pair of strong hands grabbed him by the shoulders and started dragging. "Come on, fucktruck," Karkat snapped, "if I have to put up with the fucking impending jackassery, then so do you!"

"Fuck my life," he grumbled. "I don't know what you're all pissed about anyway—it's your fucking girlfriend's birthday party."

"She's not my girlfriend and I don't like your brother any more than you do. Jesus, you're both assholes, but at least you're not as much of an asswagon as he is."

Sollux groaned and allowed himself to be marched into the club, where the rest of the party was already assembled.

After they paid the cover charge, he had literally two seconds to breathe before he heard a war cry and, a moment later, someone threw themselves at him in a bone-breaking hug. "Sollux!" his twin cheered. "Good to see you again!"

"Hey." He reluctantly returned the hug as best he could, considering Mituna had his arms pinned to his sides, and wondered why everyone felt the need to attack-hug him. He glanced over his brother's shoulder to note the few people looking at them quizzically and disentangled himself from Mituna's hug. Once he caught his breath, he explained sullenly, "Mituna Captor, my brother."

" _Twin_ purrother!" Nepeta interjected happily.

 _Oh, my God. That was terrible._ "Right. Naturally." Desperate for any way to get the attention off himself, he opened his arms in Terezi's direction and said, "Hey, happy birthday!"

 _Success._ Almost immediately, she was mobbed by well-wishers, and Sollux was able to slink away.

Ten minutes later found him lingering on a couch next to the dance floor but well out of sight of anyone who might feel the need to accost him. He hoped everyone would be distracted by everyone else and not notice him—Mituna had his girlfriend and Terezi and Karkat would probably pretend not to be flirting all night and Tavros pretty much always had his arms around Gamzee and Aradia and Equius would most likely end up snuggled up in some corner before the night was over, so the odds of anyone noticing he was lurking far away seemed pretty slim.

Well, Nepeta might notice his absence, but he wasn't too worried about her. Her shipper heart was probably fluttering a mile a minute with all the couples and potential couples floating around.

In the meantime, he had to think of another new prank to pull on Eridan, preferably before the end of the weekend. Ampora's challenge would not go unmet—he refused to let the bastard win. The problem was, the good pranks he could play involved him having access to where he lived. He had no idea where Ampora parked that stupid BMW of his at night, much less have a key. He didn't want to fuck with the car again—repeating himself would be in bad form. It was also a fine line between clever and cruel when it came to tricks, and he didn't want to cross that line. He was in quite a bit of a quandary, so he let his mind wander, hoping something would come to him.

The club started filling up and he saw Aradia start dancing, oblivious to the fact that she was the only person on the dance floor. Equius watched her, visibly uncomfortable, but Sollux could tell he wanted to join her. Soon, Rose was tugging Kanaya to the dance floor as well, followed by a few people he didn't know and then Terezi and Karkat.

Someone sat down on the sofa next to him and he turned to look. Dave Strider was sitting there, his left ankle resting on his right knee, his sunglasses still on despite the dark of the club, and his phone out, reflecting in the sunglasses. Sollux wondered if he should say something, but decided against it. If Strider wanted a conversation, he'd start one. Still, he expected to see John Egbert trailing behind him—aside from at their apartment building, the two appeared to be inseparable.

"My brother's a bit of a dick, too," Dave said abruptly.

Sollux blinked. "Mituna's not bad."

"Neither is Dirk." Dave shrugged. "There's a personality clash there, though."

He nodded and settled back. "Not too far off." He looked at his hands for a moment. "Where's John?"

Dave let out a snort of laughter. "Creeping on that Nepeta chick, probably. I decided to leave him to it. She's got that huge fucking horse of a friend to watch her back, so if John does something stupid, he'll have whatever's coming to him."

Sollux grinned in spite of himself and glanced to where Equius had been standing, watching Aradia. He was gone now. He moved his gaze to the dance floor and ice flooded his veins.

He stood up, watching as Aradia smoothly extracted herself from the grip of some strange guy only to have him follow her. Kanaya left Rose to put herself between the stranger and Aradia and looked to be telling him to back off, but the guy grabbed her arm and yanked her to the side, out of his way.

Time seemed to slow down for Sollux. Without conscious direction, his feet took him to where the guy was getting closer to Aradia, and he must have been crazy because he grabbed him by the shirt, spun the guy to face him, and sank his fist right into his jaw.

He had a good five inches on this guy but maybe about ten pounds. Still, he'd put every ounce of strength behind the swing, and even if it didn't do any serious damage, it was enough to send a drunk scurrying into the corner, obviously thinking Aradia to be more trouble than she was worth.

A hand appeared on his arm and he turned and there was Aradia, looking shaken but otherwise unharmed. All of a sudden, time sped back up and he was hit by a wave of nausea. He left the dance floor, speeding up as he went, until he was running full-tilt out of the club, past Gamzee and Tavros and John and Nepeta and his fucking brother and Equius was following him and he was pretty sure Aradia was behind him too but now he was out of the door, turning right and sprinting down the sidewalk until he got to the side of the building. He braced his hand against the brick wall, legs trembling before finally giving out, and the next thing he knew, he was puking his guts out in a patch of grass next to the club.

 _This is so fucking humiliating._ At least the night air was a welcome relief from the stifling club. Then Aradia was crouching in front of him, carefully avoiding the vomit, cupping his face in her hands. "Sollux. Sollux, look at me."

His eyes met hers.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

He nodded slowly. "I don't think I ever hit someone before in my life."

She chuckled softly. "You did fine. I'm glad he didn't try to hit you back. If he'd broken your nose, your pretty face would be ruined and then what would you be good for?"

A smile tugged at his mouth.

"I apologize," Equius's deep voice said from behind them. "I should have been watching for you."

"That's not your job." She turned back to Sollux. "Can you stand?" When he nodded, she helped him to his feet. "What I want to know is where the fucking bouncers were. They're the ones who are supposed to watch out for shit like that."

"Can we go home now? _Please_?" Sollux asked, well-aware that he was whining but not caring. His fist was throbbing and he wasn't convinced he hadn't broken his knuckles. His delicate hands were made for typing, not punching.

Aradia laughed softly. "Yeah, we can go. We should say goodbye first. Call a cab. I'll pay," she added. She kissed his cheek gently and let go of him. "I'd wait by the door if I were you."

While she was inside, he did as she bid and called a cab. It arrived fifteen minutes later, about ten seconds after Aradia said goodbye to everyone and kissed Equius full on the mouth. She hurried outside and herded Sollux into the cab, and it wasn't until the door closed next to her that he felt truly able to breathe again.


	21. Intermission II/Act 21

_****_

_**INTERMISSION II**_

There were worse ways to wake up, Rose supposed, than with a pretty girl's head between your legs. She couldn't think of any off the top of her head (actually, she couldn't really think of anything right now), but that was because Kanaya's tongue seemed to be magic, and Rose wasn't about to complain.

Waking up in Kanaya's bed would have been a complete surprise to her the day before, too. When they left on their excursion to that ridiculous club Terezi wanted so much to go to, she hadn't anticipated actually wanting to dance with Kanaya, much less actively pulling her out to the dance floor. The other girl hadn't minded, though. It had allowed her to keep an eye on Aradia for all the good it ended up doing her. When that guy had forcibly shoved Kanaya away to get at Aradia, Rose nearly marched up to him and knocked his block off. Before she could, though, Sollux had appeared and did exactly what she'd planned on doing. The guy slunk off to a corner to lick his wounds, and suddenly Sollux was out of there like ninjas were after him, and Aradia was right behind him.

But Kanaya was ashen, so Rose led her to the side to make sure she was okay, away from the dance floor and toward the couch where Dave was sitting. He scooted over to make room for them.

"Are you okay?" Rose asked as softly as she could while still being heard over the pounding bass beat. She sat Kanaya down and brushed the other girl's short dark hair behind her ears.

After a moment of consideration, Kanaya nodded. "I am unharmed."

"There's a difference between 'okay' and 'unharmed.'"

Something akin to surprise flitted across Kanaya's face before she lowered her eyes to her knees. Restlessly, her hands smoothed out her skirt and she said, "I know."

Rose tilted her face back up, crouching down so their gazes were level. "Talk to me, Kan. What's wrong?"

"I thought he intended to hurt her," Kanaya said carefully. "I feared for her, and..."

"He _did_ intend to hurt her. You did fine. I thought he was about to hurt both of you."

"Sollux should not have had to—"

"No, and neither should you. Sollux is lucky that guy didn't hit him back. A more belligerent drunk would have beat him down. I think the guy was just an idiot, but it doesn't excuse him."

"I suppose harm could have come to my person as well, but it was Aradia I was most concerned for. She—oh." Kanaya stood up quickly, and Rose turned to look and there was Aradia herself, standing there looking sheepish.

"Sollux wants to go home, so I'm taking him back. I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone."

"Is he okay?" Rose asked.

"He's..." She gave a nervous chuckle. "He lost his dinner outside, for what it's worth. Apparently, he's never hit anyone before. But he'll recover. I think his nerves are a little frayed right now." She turned to Kanaya and pulled her into a tight hug. "You okay?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. I have Rose with me, after all," she said with the ghost of a smile on her face, and for some reason, Kanaya's words filled her with an unwarranted sense of pleasure.

"Good." She let go of Kanaya and gave Rose a quick hug as well. "Keep the creepers away from her, will you?"

"I can oblige," she said, smiling.

Aradia spared an awkward hug for Dave as well before hurrying back to the front of the club, and Kanaya sat back down. Rose squished in between her and Dave, who grumbled at them but ruffled Rose's hair. They'd been friends for far too long to truly care about a bit of a personal space violation.

After that, the whole mood seemed to deflate, even after Terezi and the other remaining party-goers found out where the three of them were lurking. Terezi dragged Karkat back out to the dance floor but they were both terrible (Rose had no idea what Karkat's excuse was, but Terezi's blindness was a good one for her), and Nepeta danced exuberantly by herself for a good ten minutes before John went out to join her, and later Equius. Rose lost track of most of the others, occasionally seeing them swirling around the dance floor amid the throngs of strangers, but Dave didn't get up once and Kanaya's desire to dance had left her. Rose was unwilling to leave her, so she stayed there, wedged between her and Dave.

After nearly a half an hour, she realized that she'd somehow shifted and was half-sitting in Kanaya's lap (a ridiculous sight, considering she was at least four inches taller than Kanaya) and the other girl had her arm wrapped loosely around her waist. It was comforting, though, in a way that didn't make sense because Kanaya was the one who'd needed the soothing, not her. But she felt a light flush of happiness at it either way.

If Dave noticed when Rose slid full into Kanaya's lap, he didn't say anything. He kept his sunglasses on, which she expected and understood even if she didn't like it, and she couldn't see his eyes (which was the point, after all), but his thumb kept moving along the screen of his iPhone as he texted and surfed the internet. There was a mystery there; Dave Strider was an enigma that, even after seven years of friendship, she hadn't been able to solve yet.

He got up from the couch, pressing his phone to his ear and yelling, " _WHAT?!"_ to be heard over the cacophony, right around the time both of Kanaya's arms ended up around her, and Rose found that she was minding the physical contact less and less, not that she had minded it much in the first place.

It moved faster after that, with light kisses being trailed down the back of her neck and fingertips caressing her arms until Rose turned around and kissed her properly. Even though she felt herself trembling slightly, she was smiling—they both were—and Rose wound her arms around Kanaya.

When asked, Rose had always said that based solely on her history, she was straight, but she'd never dismissed the possibility that she could be bisexual. She'd simply never found a girl she was attracted to, not until Kanaya. The really strange thing was that they hadn't even met a week ago and Kanaya got her heart racing like a lovestruck fourteen-year-old. It was a good feeling, though, and nice considering she'd never been that lovestruck fourteen-year-old.

Later, when Tavros told them he and Gamzee were leaving, Rose suggested they go along since neither of them appeared to be heading back out to dance, and Gamzee came by to offer Dave a ride home, too. Dave grumbled something about his brother needing the apartment to himself and Gamzee just went right along with, "No problem, man! Karkat won't mind if you crash at our place!"

Dave seemed okay with the offer, so the five of them piled into Gamzee's Focus while Kanaya ground her teeth. Rose wasn't sure why, but she didn't like Gamzee all that much. "I don't have a reason," she'd said earlier. "Just... fuck that guy." Gamzee seemed nice enough to her, if a little too cheerful for her liking and with a shitty taste in music, but Rose let it go because she didn't honestly care too much, especially not when she and Kanaya huddled into the back seat next to Dave (he, Tavros, and Gamzee seemed to be pointedly ignoring them) and kept their hands all over each other for the entirety of the ride to Kanaya's apartment building. Rose knew they were being obnoxious, but that was one more thing she really couldn't have cared less about.

By the time they ended up falling asleep, naked and wrapped in blankets and each other's arms, Rose was pretty sure she'd stopped caring about anything but the feel of Kanaya pressed against her, and for the first time in recent memory, she felt well and truly happy.

_****_

_**END INTERMISSION II.**_

* * *

_****_

_**ACT 21**_

Aradia left his apartment around two-thirty, leaving him with a sore right hand and a mug of tea drowned in honey. He held his computer mouse gingerly, cradling his mug in his left hand, and glanced every so often at his red, slightly-swollen knuckles. They probably weren't broken, but they'd be bruised in the morning, and he flexed his fingers to test them. The pain wasn't terrible—if he focused on something else, it went away completely—but he'd iced them for a few hours before Aradia went home.

He'd offered to let her stay the night (it wouldn't have been the first time she slept over), but she said goodbye and left all the same. He wondered if Equius was waiting for her but didn't ask. She'd done more for him than any of his other friends, so she deserved the time she earned away from him.

He scoured the internet for useful pranks to play on annoying hipster douche-wagons (that had actually been his search entry on Google: "pranks to play on annoying hipster douche-wagons") and, aside from remotely erasing music off iPhones (which Eridan didn't have—he apparently found a Blackberry to be more appropriate), had seen nothing useful. Sollux would apparently have to rely on his own wits, such as they were, to devise an original prank. It promised to be a pain, though, considering he'd never used his powers for evil, only good (his own good, anyway). Finally, he gave up for the night, closed the lid of his laptop, and got ready for bed.

Adrenaline (and what little caffeine was in his tea), however, had other plans for him. He lay awake in the dark, trying to ignore the dull pounding in his knuckles. The jitters he'd had after punching that guy had subsided by now, and in place of that shaky feeling was a small sense of pride. He didn't know if that counted as a "first fight," but it emboldened him. He might not stand up for himself very often, but he could sure as Hell stand up for his friends when he needed to.

He'd think of something. He had to.

He was nearly asleep when his phone buzzed loudly on the nightstand. Something told him to ignore it, but he ignored _that_ idea and checked it anyway, and then immediately wished he hadn't. It was Mituna texting him.

_H3Y 8R00 WH475 G01NG G0N?!_

"Oh, Jesus," Sollux muttered. Karkat thought _his_ typing quirk was bad, but he'd never seen Mituna's. He could barely decode the haphazardly cobbled-together internet substitutions and he'd been reading it for six years. It was even worse when he was half-asleep as it was.

 _ju2t about two fall a2leep actually_ , he answered. He hoped that would be the end of it, that Mituna would take the hint and leave him alone for another two months, but it was a futile hope.

_0H M44N 50RR13 8R0 8U7 DUUD33 15 YUR H4ND 0KY 44R44D14 W45 54YNG H0W U0U PUNCH43D 50M3 GUY 1N 7H3 F4C3._

Sollux groaned and rubbed his eyes. He was pretty sure what he'd said was "Oh man sorry bro but dude is your hand okay Aradia was saying how you punched some guy in the face" which, aside from being more run-on sentence than he could handle (and apart from being grammatically incorrect, which never bothered him before but just pissed him off when it was Mituna), was just ridiculous. If he really cared, he could have disentangled himself from his girlfriend ( _Latula_ , he reminded himself, Terezi's older sister) long enough to ask him to his face. Although that might have ended with Sollux actually breaking his knuckles against his brother's nose, so maybe it was all for the best.

_iim fiine iill talk two you later_

_Y34H 5UR3 H7H1NG 8R00 H4H4H4 G00DD N1GH7 M4N._

Thank God that was over with. He never nearly threw his phone against the wall in frustration, but he knew he'd only regret it in the morning. Instead, he turned it on silent, flipped it over, and turned away from it. Maybe _now_ he could finally get some sleep.

* * *

The ride back from the club was a good deal less crowded than the ride _to_ the club. Nepeta sat up front next to Equius, but for all the actually sitting she did there (almost none), she might as well have been in the back seat. The whole time, she perched on her knees facing backwards with her arms wrapped around the head rest and her chin on top. John sat behind her and Karkat was behind Equius, but almost all of Nepeta's attention had been focused on John.

"I had a _purr_ fectly wonderful time tonight! What about you?" she asked cheerily. If she had a tail, it would have been swishing back and forth. Of course, if she had a tail, Equius probably would have yanked her back into her seat properly, so maybe it was better if she didn't.

"Uh, yeah, it was great!" John said with a grin.

Karkat rolled his eyes and slouched in his seat. He'd shared a class with Nepeta once, their first semester of what counted as their freshman year at this stupid community college (a year ago now) and he'd liked her well enough until she started calling him "Karkitty" and being generally weird. Apparently, though, John thought the cat pun thing was adorable and it didn't bother him at all. Then again, maybe he should have expected as much from John Egbert. The guy was a bit of a spaz, especially if Vriska had stomped on his heart the way Strider said she did. But Nepeta seemed genuinely nice, cat puns aside, and maybe John was at a point where he could appreciate that.

He just wasn't sure she knew just what she was getting into.

"Nepeta, please return to your seat," Equius said firmly, tugging on the olive-green jacket she wore.

"Shoosh!" She batted his hand away and kept facing backwards. "What classes are you taking, Mr. Eg _purr_ t?"

Karkat looked at his window and wondered if he could roll it down and jump out before Equius realized what he was doing. Probably not, he decided. The guy seemed pretty observant. Plus there was no guarantee he'd survive a tumble from a Suburban at fifty miles an hour. Not that he'd be completely opposed to that prospect at this point. He watched the landscape whizzing by and sat back, deciding the mess wouldn't be worth it.

"Well, I'm taking a Government class with Mr. Vantas here and our mutual friend Dave Strider—he was at the shindig tonight, the blond guy? And I'm also in Organic Chemistry and Economics... oh! And this one class Dave showed me, it's ridiculous, he made me take it but it's awesome. It's called 'The Textual Appeal of Tupac Shakur.'"

The whole SUV went completely silent. Even Karkat was a bit stunned with that response. Somehow, neither John nor Dave had _ever_ mentioned taking this class, much less that it even existed.

A choked laugh sounded loud in the car and Karkat realized it was Equius fighting not to lose control of the steering wheel. After a few seconds of strangled laughter, he seemed to regain control of himself. "I had no idea the school offered such a course," he said once he'd regained the ability to speak.

"Yep!" John said. "Dave wanted to take it just to see what it was about. He thought it would basically be a joke, and he told me to take it with him since I needed another three credits this semester anyway. It's actually pretty deep, though! It's one of those weird Friday classes but yeah, they take it really seriously, and the teacher is a diehard Tupac fan! It's really cool!"

Nepeta had practically buried her face in the leather of the head rest, leaving only her eyes peeking out along with the blue cat-face hat still jammed over her hair. She pushed up her sleeves to keep them from covering her hands but they just fell back to her fingertips. Karkat remembered that she'd been wearing the same jacket a year ago. Why was she still wearing such an ill-fitting garment? It was long all over, not just at her sleeves; the back of it hung almost to her knees. It seemed a little excessive, but then again, Karkat didn't really have room to talk. His wardrobe consisted almost entirely of jeans and gray and black long-sleeved T-shirts. He didn't really do color.

"So is it hard?" Nepeta asked, moving her mouth so she could be heard.

"A little, but it's more fun than hard. Like it doesn't even seem like class work! There's a lot of group discussion, too, but Dave just sits to the side and doesn't say anything."

"I bet if he found the right _purr_ son, he would open up!"

"Nepeta," Equius said again with more of a warning in his voice than before.

"Shoosh!" she said again, swatting at his head now.

Karkat very nearly asked, but decided he was probably better off not knowing. Knowing her, it could all very well mean something crazy, and he didn't have the fortitude to handle that right now.

When at last Equius finally dropped him and John off in front of his apartment building, Nepeta darted out of the car so fast Karkat wasn't what sure what happened until the door was open. She was nice as she said good night to him, but she gave John a big hug before dashing right back into Equius's monster of a vehicle and waving at them. Equius waited until they were in the building before he pulled away from the curb.

"She seemed nice," John said with a grin.

"Yeah, if you like batshit insane," Karkat grumbled.

"Don't be such a sourpuss!"

Karkat blinked at him for a second. "Oh, my _God_ , Egbert, do you even listen to yourself half the fucking time or do you just say whatever the fuck pops into that shrunken little ketchup cup you call a brain?!"

One thing he could say for John, the one thing he and Gamzee had in common, was that they could take verbal abuse with a smile. Gamzee was _always_ like that, but John had to be in a good mood (which he usually was, especially right now). He just laughed and gave Karkat an affectionate noogie, which displeased him to no end. He was shorter than everyone else he knew except Nepeta and Tavros—he didn't need that fact rubbed in his face.

When they got up to Karkat's apartment, John yawning and rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses (he'd invited himself over for the weekend and was apparently ready to crash for the night), he was surprised to see Dave there as well, sprawled out on the sofa with his headphones firmly over his ears. The reason for that came a moment later as he registered the rhythmic thumping and faint moans coming from Gamzee's room. Karkat visibly flinched.

Dave waved idly, his phone screen still reflected in his glasses, and lifted one headphone away from his ear. "Are they still—? Never mind. I can hear them."

Karkat closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Jesus fucking Christ on a fish. Come on." He unlocked his own bedroom door, mercifully across the living room from Gamzee's, and pointed Egbert and Strider inside before slamming the door behind him. It didn't do much to block out the noises, but when John put on _Face/Off_ , the sounds of Nicolas Cage and John Travolta's combined shitty dialogue was enough to drown out the sounds still coming from Gamzee's room.

_****_

_**END ACT 21.**_


	22. Act 22

Eridan was able to fall asleep almost immediately when he got home. Feferi had convinced him to swim finally and, just like her, he'd always felt at home in the water. It was nearly six before they finally splashed out, gathered up their belongings, and went to the public showers to rinse the sand off themselves. They stopped for veggie burgers at one of the funky niche cafés near the boardwalk and lingered so long the sun set by the time they left. They were both yawning when Eridan dropped her off, but he came inside to say good night to her and Ms. Peixes before heading home himself. Just like the night before, his parents were asleep when he finally got home, but he left another note for them, requesting to be woken up at eight-thirty. He and Fef would probably start the trip back to school around eleven or twelve, but that left them plenty of time—it was only a three-hour trip depending on traffic.

His dad knocked on the door at exactly eight-thirty, and he took a glorious half an hour for his shower. When he got out, there was a text message on his phone from Feferi. _)(-EY -ERIDAN! Look, I'm taking my own car back to sc)(ool so it'll be easier for me to get around, so you don't need to worry about driving me back today! I'll see you at sc)(ool tomorrow!_

And all of a sudden, his cheerful mood vanished. It felt like he'd taken a baseball bat to the ribs. He sat down hard on the edge of his bed, his towel still wrapped around his waist, and wondered what to say in reply. It seemed like such a casual dismissal, but she'd never mentioned being bothered by always relying on him for a ride, and he'd never complained about it, either. They were friends. That's what friends were for.

Maybe she hadn't quite forgiven him for the petty war he was waging with Sollux. Sure, she'd seemed not to mind yesterday or the day before, but that didn't mean all was forgotten. _Or maybe she just really wants to have her own car with her, since she's paying insurance on it still. Might as well drive it, after all_ , the logical part of him said coolly. She had that right, of course—it was her car, and if she wanted to drive it, he wasn't going to stop her. Still, he couldn't stop the question _Did I do something wrong?_ from running around in his head.

He forced himself to type out _OK drivve safe_ and set his phone aside. He still had to get dressed and fix his hair and eat and... Well, after he packed, he'd be ready to go. He didn't need to wait for Fef or anything. He would be back at Cronus's apartment by one. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Eridan was quiet during breakfast, answering questions when his parents asked him anything but not volunteering any information. He was only able to choke down half a pancake (not because of the taste, because they were delicious—his dad was an amazing cook) but because his stomach was in knots and he struggled to get any food past the lump that had somehow formed in his throat. His father gave him a quizzical look but didn't ask, for which he was grateful. He was being childish, he knew—it probably had nothing to do with him, after all; Feferi just wanted her freedom—but he couldn't help feeling like he was being slowly but surely cast aside. But for _who_? Generally, if someone was planning on getting rid of something (a car, a phone, a best friend), they had a replacement in mind. The idea that she was planning on exchanging him for someone else made him feel like a fish being gutted. She was his only friend. If she left him, he wouldn't have anyone left.

He said a hasty goodbye to his parents, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder already, and went to his car. He hesitated a moment before setting his bag on the seat next to him. It was strange to remember that Feferi wouldn't be riding with him. She always had before, and again, he found himself wondering what the true cause was. Did she really just want her own car, or was it something else?

He would have agonized over it on the ride back but he chose to ignore it instead, turning up Skrillex as loud as his speakers would allow. Skrillex was one of his guilty pleasures, mindless music to just forget everything, but he would privately admit that the man was a genius. He just wouldn't say it to anyone else.

* * *

"Hey, daddy-o!" Cronus said the moment Eridan opened the door. He waved from the couch, a stoned smile on his face and the scent of weed distinctly in the air. Eridan would have to douse his clothes in Febreeze so he didn't arrive at school tomorrow reeking like a drug dealer.

"Hey," he mumbled back.

"You're back early," his brother observed.

"Yeah, well, Fef took her own car back," he explained. "I didn't have to drop her off."

"Hey, if it works."

Eridan closed his eyes and silently cursed his brother to the depths of greaser Hell. He pretended Cronus hadn't said anything (he was probably so high he'd forget about it in a few minutes, anyway) and went to his room, taking care to slam the door behind him.

He dropped his bag on his floor and flopped onto his bed. He stared at the spot near the window where his fish tank would go, wondering if it would be a wise idea to bring other living beings into this sorry excuse of a household. For a moment, he considered asking Cronus if he could be trusted around pets as low-maintenance as fish but decided against it. If Cronus never knew the fish were here, he could never go out of his way to kill them.

Not that he expected he would, but he'd been known to inadvertently do stupid things.

Maybe he could go later this week and get some fish. Fish would be soothing. They wouldn't be able to take Fef's place—nothing and no one could possibly hope to do that—but they would distract him, and staring at fish swimming around seemed like a good way to calm him down.

His stomach gave a loud growl and he gave it a glare before he dug his phone out of his pocket. He had Alberto's Pizza on speed dial and he had his order memorized by now—a medium veggie pizza with extra cheese. He was only a vegan around Feferi—when she wasn't around, he was just a vegetarian, and right now, he felt like indulging in some cheese.

He was told his pizza would arrive in thirty minutes, so he sat back to wait.

* * *

A high-pitched beep sounded from the intercom next to Sollux's door, but for a second, he wasn't sure he'd actually heard the thing. No one had ever used it before (except Aradia the one time she'd left her key at his place), so he had no idea who could be using it now. Unsure, he set his laptop on the couch next to him, got up, and stared at the intercom until it beeped again. He sprinted over to hit the talk button. "Hello?" he panted.

"Sollux?" That voice sounded familiar but he couldn't place it.

"Who's that?" he asked cautiously.

"Equius. Zahhak," he added, as if Sollux might know another Equius.

"Yeah. Okay. Naturally." He let go of the talk button for a minute until the obvious question came to mind. "How did you know where I live?"

The line was silent for a moment until Equius sheepishly admitted, "Aradia told me."

"You sleep with her yet?" He smirked and waited for the answer. He could very easily imagine the other boy spluttering as he tried to think of a response. Whether yes or no, Equius was probably flustered.

"No," he said finally, the embarrassment evident in his voice. "We have not had car—"

"Okay, yeah, that's good, whatever," Sollux said, cutting him off quickly. The last thing he wanted to hear was Equius finishing that sentence. "Thanks for the honesty. And if you're lying, AA's pretty bad at keeping secrets like that."

There was another terse silence before Sollux decided he'd let Equius suffer long enough. He didn't always fuck with people, but when he did, he was as deadpan as possible. "What do you need?"

"I brought your glasses."

He blinked. "Oh. Alright, I'll buzz you in." He held down the unlock button for a solid five seconds, which he assumed would be ample time for Equius to get to the door. For a few minutes, he stood there awkwardly, wondering what he should do and if it would be worth it to go back to his computer in the interim, but before he could decide, there was a knock on his door. He peered through the hole in his door even though it could only be Equius and ended up with an eyeful of the other boy's pectorals for his troubles. Until Sollux had met him, he hadn't known anyone taller than him. The only ones who came close were Gamzee and Aradia, both of whom were an even six feet tall. Equius towered over them all though. It was refreshing for Sollux, though.

He opened the door and looked up to meet the lenses of Equius's sunglasses. They were pretty badly scratched, but Sollux didn't think he'd ever seen him _not_ wearing them. He wondered if he, like Dave, was hiding something. Then again, considering the glasses Equius was wordlessly handing over to him, he didn't have much room to talk.

He'd left the brown contact lens out today since it was Sunday and he planned on staying in all day, and now he was glad he had. He hooked his glasses on his shirt and slid the new ones over his eyes. A blue tint on the left lens and red on the right mixed his field of vision into a strangely purple hue. The prescription strength seemed about right, if a tiny bit strong—Equius had asked him on Friday for the specifics—and they fit well, considering they'd been made by amateurs. He turned around to stare at the far wall and nodded. He could clearly make out the lone picture on the wall. He'd get used to the strength and the color. He turned back to Equius. "So. Can you tell my eyes are two different colors?"

Equius leaned in for a moment before he seemed to go pale. "I... one moment." His fingers shook slightly as he slid his glasses down the bridge of his nose, just a fraction of an inch, but it was enough for Sollux to see why he hid his own eyes.

The whites of his eyes were slightly yellow, a symptom of jaundice that he'd seen in other people, but more than that, probably the real reason for the sunglasses, was that despite having skin almost as dark as his hair, his irises were almost iridescently blue. Equius probably didn't like people staring, although there was plenty for them to stare at even without factoring in his eyes. It was something Sollux completely understood.

"No," Equius said finally, pushing his glasses back up to hide his eyes again. "The colors make it impossible to see the difference."

"Which is the point." Sollux smiled. "You and your brother did a great job on these."

Equius straightened up to his full height, and there may have even been a momentary flicker of pride across his face. "Thank you. It was an enjoyable project." He paused for a moment. "They suit you well."

"Yeah?" He wished he had a mirror so he could check, but the closest one was in his bathroom.

"Yes." Equius subtly turned his head toward the elevator. He seemed to be deciding whether or not to ask a question, so Sollux shoved him into it.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I... I merely wondered... If I were to pursue a relationship with Aradia... that is, if she would be receptive to the suggestion... would..." He seemed to be fighting for words, and Sollux considered letting him flounder, but he knew where Equius was going and it didn't seem fair to watch him flail.

"Would I be okay with it?" he asked.

"Y-yes."

Sollux shrugged. "It's her life, EQ. As long as she's happy, that's what matters. She doesn't need my permission to date someone if she wants to. And for what it's worth, you seem like a halfway decent guy."

Equius appeared visibly relieved. "Thank you. I... I will see you at school tomorrow, I'm certain."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow."

The other boy strode down the hallway, his footsteps pounding even with the thick carpet and his long legs taking him to the elevator in record time. Sollux closed the door and readjusted his glasses before curiosity got the better of him and he nearly sprinted to the bathroom mirror to check them out.

Everything was awash in a sea of purple, but he found that he liked it. Even though he was looking at his eyes through what was essentially two layers of lenses, he found that Equius hadn't been lying—the two different-colored tints disguised his mismatched eyes well.

He grinned. Tomorrow might be more interesting than he thought.


	23. Act 23

When Sollux's alarm went off the next morning, he couldn't figure out why he felt a strange and unsettling contentedness. He'd never actively dreaded going to school, but he also hadn't really looked forward to it. He fumbled for his glasses, and then he remembered. A smile broke across his face.

"Well, hello there," he said with a stupid grin, sliding on his red-and-blue glasses.

He showered and shaved quickly and dressed in black jeans, a shirt that was blue on the left ride and red on the right, his mismatched shoes, and a yellow zip-up hoodie. His anticipation toward getting to school had actually left room in his stomach for breakfast, so, having finished up the leftover pizza over the weekend, he wolfed down a bowl of Lucky Charms and headed out the door. He hit the button for the elevator and put his ear buds in. The doors slid open as he scrolled through his iPod, trying to decide what to listen to, and he heard someone say, "Whoa."

Sollux looked up from the screen. "Hey, Dave."

"Nice glasses," Dave Strider said with what almost passed for a smile on his face. His own headphones were looped around his neck and something that sounded like Skrillex was pumping out of them.

"Thanks." Sollux opted for Alkaline Trio as the doors closed in front of him.

He didn't think Dave continued talking to him, probably taking the hint that headphones on meant world off. Even though Dave seemed to be Karkat's friend too, he didn't have his annoying habit of talking to someone who clearly wasn't paying attention. It was a nice change of pace.

* * *

– – _alkalineTwisted began pestering caligulasAquarium– –_

_AT: Good morning!_

_CA: uh_

_CA: do i knoww you_

_AT: Umm I hope so! We had a class together last semester!_

_AT: This is Eridan, right?_

_CA: uh_

_CA: yeah_

_CA: wwho are you_

_CA: wwhat class did we havve together_

_AT: Political science. I know it was ridiculously boring :D_

_AT: I'm Jane. I got your pesterchum handle from Feferi_

_CA: jane? jane crocker_

_AT: No not her XC I guess you don't remember me_

_CA: no not really_

_CA: uh_

_CA: so wwhat did you wwant_

_CA: cause gettin my handle from fef is all kinds a creepy_

_AT: Yeah, I know, sorry!_

_AT: I wanted to talk but since you don't remember me, that's kind of pointless so I'll just let you go_

_CA: wwell_

_CA: it just came out a the blue an all_

_CA: some wweird things havve been goin on lately_

_AT: Such as?_

_AT: I mean, if you don't mind me asking_

_CA: long story_

_CA: no offense but im not convvinced this isnt some elaborate prank_

_AT: Oh okay_

_AT: Alright well at least I know_

_AT: Have a good day_

– – _alkalineTwisted ceased pestering caligulasAquarium– –_

_CA: wwait_

_CA: wwhat_

* * *

Eridan looked over the pesterlog and frowned. Something about it didn't seem right but this Jane had given up really easily instead of trying to convince him of her authenticity. If it was a prank, he figured the culprit (he suspected Sollux) would keep trying to talk to him, but that hadn't happened. _Hmm._ Well, he knew he had to get right to the bottom of this, so he sent Feferi a text. _hey fef does sol havve a pesterchum account_

_Yep! W)(y, planning on stalking )(im? *wink wink* I can't do a winking face wit)( my smiley so t)(at will )(ave to do_

_no not evven. wwhats his handle_

_TwinArmageddons_

Eridan bit his lip. _TA._ "Jane"'s had been AT. He didn't like the similarity. It was too suspicious, and besides, he didn't think Sollux would have been stupid enough to use his own actual handle for a prank like this. But now he knew Sollux's handle.

* * *

– – _caligulasAquarium began pestering twinArmageddons– –_

_CA: hey fuck you asshole_

_TA: who'2 thii2?_

_CA: like you dont knoww_

_TA: no ii don't 2o you can fuck off_

– – _twinArmageddons blocked caligulasAquarium– –_

_CA: wwait_

_CA: wwhat_

* * *

He furrowed his brow in confusion. If "Jane" really was Sollux, he was going all-out for this prank. If he wasn't... _hey fef did you givve my handle to some chick named jane_

_Yea)(, s)(e was in our Political Science class last semester! I can't remember )(er last name but s)(e was really nice. W)(y, did s)(e pester you?_

_yeah just out a the blue all random an shit. you could a warned me_

_SORRY! It just slipped my mind!_

He rolled his eyes and lifted his Thermos to his mouth. The coffee was still hot, but he finished it anyway. _one last question. if sol wwas prankin me an you kneww, wwould you tell me?_

_Of course I would! I've never lied to you before, )(ave I?_

No, she hadn't, but he'd lied to her before, so he figured he was about due for some like treatment. He left his Thermos in the car, reached across the seat for his bag, and headed inside the cafeteria building.

* * *

"How's your hand?" Aradia asked, tugging Sollux's phone out of his hand and grabbing him by the wrists.

"I'm fine," Sollux said, but didn't pull his hand back.

"Knuckles still look a little swollen."

"I'm _fine_ ," he repeated. "Where's KN?"

"Kanaya? I'm not sure." Aradia glanced at the other seats around their table; they were all empty save the ones she and Sollux occupied. "If they start hurting, go to the clinic."

"Fuck me sideways, AA, I'm _fine_."

She let go of his hand as his phone buzzed on the table. He picked it up. "Pesterchum again."

"Who is it?"

"caligulasAquarium." A small smirk crossed his face. "That would be ED."

"Eridan's pestering you? What the Hell happened?"

"He probably got my handle from FF, same as how I got his."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I think he thinks I'm pranking him again."

"Are you?"

Sollux raised an eyebrow and smiled mischievously. "Not yet. But..." He sent a response to Eridan's verbal harassment and blocked him. "Always good to lay some groundwork."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not yet." He looked over his shoulder, enjoying the fresh tint his glasses lent to everything. Something he hadn't realized the day before, something he found amazing, was that reflective surfaces seemed to take on an incredibly three-dimensional appearance, more than they did without the glasses. He'd get used to it, but for now, the whole world looked better behind these glasses.

He started playing Tetris and Aradia picked up _A Clash of Kings_ to continue reading, but looked up after a few minutes to the sound of rapid footsteps. "Uh-oh, incoming," she breathed. "Danger, Will Robinson!"

Before Sollux had a chance to turn around and see what had Aradia so on-edge, a presence came over his shoulder and a familiar voice hissed, "I really expected better from you, Captor."

He recognized that voice. He recognized that scent. He recognized that annoying (and stupidly hot) habit of invading his personal space. It was definitely Eridan, come to harass him some more.

Sollux stood up and turned around, grateful suddenly for the three inches he had on Ampora. It allowed him to look down as he snapped, "Back the fuck up and get out of my face." When he tried really hard, he could overcome his lisp, and he did so now. Eridan was going to take him seriously, whether he knew it or not, and he didn't want him to be able to use a mispronounced word as fodder.

Automatically, Eridan took a step back, his eyes flicking back and forth from one lens to the other. Sollux could almost see the thoughts running through his head— _red and blue mix to purple, purple is his favorite color, God damn it, what the fuck was I thinking?—_ just as well as he could see someone approaching out of the corner of his eye.

And then she said, "Eridan? Is that _you_?" and Eridan's face drained of color. His purple eyes went wide, terror evident in them, but he sucked in a deep breath and turned around.

* * *

 _Shit!_ He'd completely forgotten about _her._ Bad enough that she'd appeared out of nowhere—worse that she'd done it when he was caught practically ogling his rival. He'd gotten new glasses over the weekend with red and blue lenses and if he didn't know better, he wouldn't have had any idea that Sollux's eyes were two different colors and _wow_ , those glasses looked really good and had he always been that tall?

And then _she_ showed up and shattered everything with four little words and he had to scramble to get himself under control and he turned around and there she was, all long dark hair and a playful smirk with her arms crossed over her chest. Even with the patch over her left eye, a result of some childhood accident she'd never elaborated on, she'd always been gorgeous.

And apparently, she'd been busy, too, because her shirt was sleeveless black with a blue hoodie tied around her waist and her left arm from shoulder to elbow was a straight-up homage, a tattooed masterpiece of spiders, scorpions, and other arachnids.

"Hey, V-vris," he said, struggling to sounds cool and failing miserably.

Vriska's gaze flicked momentarily over his shoulder to Sollux before settling back on him. "Sorry, am I interrupting anything?" she asked, still smirking. Her lipstick was blue and it brought out the brown in her eye and her skin. "I mean, it seems like you and your boyfriend are in the middle of a fight."

"He's not my boyfriend," Eridan replied weakly.

"Oh, _right_ ," she said as if she'd just remembered that he was straight. She looked back at Sollux. "Vriska Serket. Nice to meet you. I like your glasses," she added.

"Vriska? I think I owe _you_ a punch in the face, too," Sollux said.

Vriska looked shocked and hurt, but Eridan had seen that face before. It was an act. "For what?"

"For KN—Kanaya."

" _Oh_ , I see. Be sure to hit my good eye," she said silkily. She peered around Sollux. "Hey, Aradia! Where _is_ Kanaya, anyway? I miss her."

"Back off, spider-bitch," Aradia snapped, standing up. "You think I'd really tell you where she is?"

Vriska's eye widened. "I'm hurt. I've always considered her one of my friends!"

"You've got a really fucked-up way of treating your friends."

She shrugged and abruptly grabbed Eridan, turned him around, and slung her arm over his shoulder. "I won't deny it. Just ask this cutie!"

Eridan closed his eyes. His expression spoke of severe physical pain. Before he could stop himself, he said, "I can't believe I slept with you."

"Yeah, me neither!" she said cheerily. "I had such awful taste, didn't I? Well, that was three years ago—what can you do?" She gave an exaggerated sigh, completely ignoring Eridan's mortified expression, and let go of him. "Alright, well, I'm off to catch up with some old friends of mine. See you around, losers!" And with that, she sailed off, leaving the other three staring at the back of her Spiderman backpack.

There was a dead silence for a few moments until Eridan meekly slunk off to a table at the far end of the room.

"Wow. Is she always such a bitch?" Sollux asked, watching Eridan leave.

"As far as I've known her, yeah. She was awful to Kanaya, and I'm afraid she plans on ruining her life again. Looks like she's already started on Eridan."

"Yeah." Eridan set his elbows on the table and stared at the surface, completely oblivious to everything. Sollux felt a wave of pity for him. Sure, Eridan was an asshole, but Vriska seemed worse—not clueless to the kind of havoc she wrecked, but she _reveled_ in it, found it amusing, went out of her way to hurt other people. At least when Eridan fucked with him, he expected to get as good as he gave. "Is it completely fucked-up to feel bad for him?" He turned around to meet Aradia's gaze.

She shook her head. "Not where Vriska is concerned. From what I've heard, all she does is hurt people. If she really was in a relationship with him—which I assume she was—then I don't doubt it ended badly for him."

Sollux looked back at Eridan. He was still motionless at the table, but almost caving in on himself. Even his hair seemed to be drooping. "God damn it," Sollux muttered. "Watch my backpack."


	24. Act 24

Twice, Sollux stopped to wonder what the Hell he was doing. He felt bad for Eridan, he really did, but he wasn't quite convinced he was the right person to be providing emotional comfort for a situation like this. If anyone, it should really be Feferi here to console him—she was Eridan's best friend after all. But he looked around and realized Feferi was nowhere to be found, but Eridan had basically claimed him as his rival so Sollux felt strangely compelled to care about Eridan's emotional well-being. That didn't seem like a logical response for a sworn nemesis to have, but he figured that if anyone was going to make Ampora feel like shit, it should have been him.

He stood awkwardly by Eridan's table, trying to come up with something to say. The other boy didn't seem to notice him, though. He merely sat there, head in his hands, staring at the table.

"Um," Sollux said finally, "you okay?"

"Yeah," Eridan rasped, still not looking up.

It was obviously a lie, but what could he do? He wasn't equipped to handle this kind of thing. He briefly considered going back to his own table, but he knew he couldn't. He would hate himself if he just abandoned Eridan to wallow in self-pity.

"Look, you're clearly not. Talk to me."

"W-why the fuck do you care?"

 _Because she's a bitch and shouldn't treat anyone the way she does._ "I don't know. But I do."

"It doesn't matter. She just enjoys fuckin' with people's lives."

Sollux chewed on his lip for a moment before sitting down, too. "She shouldn't get away with crap like that. Maybe you could talk to FF about it."

Eridan scoffed. "An' tell her what? 'Hey, Fef, funny story, but Vris is back an' she made me feel like a stupid grub in like thirty seconds by bringin' up that time I slept with her in high school. Oh, by the way, I slept with her in high school'? Yeah, _that'll_ go over _reel_ well."

 _Looks like he's not immune to the fish puns, either._ "She... she didn't know? I thought you and her were best friends. Don't you tell each other everything?" Hell, Aradia was _his_ best friend and he told her all the weird, embarrassing shit he couldn't tell anyone else. He thought that Eridan and Feferi were at least that close, too.

"Why the Hell would I tell her about that? It was a huge mistake—see Exhibit A, five minutes ago—an' Fef hates Vris anyway. That sounds like a really good way to make her hate her more."

"Okay, I'm pretty sure FF is incapable of hating _anyone_ ," Sollux said. "But if you want to, like, be with her or something, presenting this idealized version of yourself that's never done something stupid is a really good way to disappoint her later." He felt more and more awkward by the second, especially after Eridan finally looked up at him with something in his eyes that Sollux couldn't quite read.

"Why the fuck _wouldn't_ I present a' _idealized version_ a' myself? The real me sucks," Eridan said softly, but Sollux could hear the self-loathing in his voice. It was trippy—it was like talking to a version of him that looked nothing like him.

"If she really likes you, the real you will be fine for her."

Something behind Eridan's eyes hardened. "So, what you're sayin' is, she doesn't want to be with me an' she hates me."

Sollux groaned and thunked his forehead against the table. Eridan was deliberately twisting his words—at least he wasn't drowning in despair anymore; he was better suited to a little malice—and half of Sollux wanted to just give up and leave him alone (that would be the logical response, right?), but he stayed in the seat. "No, that's _not_ what I'm saying. I'm _saying_ that there's nothing wrong with the real you. FF probably doesn't even know you like her."

"Everyone else seems to see it but her."

"People miss good things even if they're right in front of their faces. What would you lose by telling her?"

"Her. I'd rather be her friend than nothin' to her."

"Well, then, you've got more honor than a lot of other people."

For half a second, there was a twitch at the corner of Eridan's mouth that could almost have been a smile. "You think so?"

"Yeah. It's one of the few things in your favor."

This time, he actually did smile, even if it was only for a second. "Well, I guess I can handle that." He leaned back in his chair and a confused look crossed his face. "Aren't you supposed to hate me or somethin'?"

"Doesn't a rival have certain responsibilities? I'm the only one who's supposed to make you feel like shit," Sollux joked, standing up.

If Eridan answered, he didn't hear. He just walked back to Aradia's table and fished his Nintendo DS out of his backpack.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well, what?"

"How did it go?"

Sollux shrugged. "Okay, I think. Apparently FF doesn't know he slept with her."

"That's weird. I thought they were friends."

"He said something about wanting to present an idealized version of himself to her in the interest of gaining her romantic affections."

Aradia snorted with laughter. "Did he really say that?"

"Not in as many words, but I can read between the lines. He's got it bad for her." There was a tightness in his chest that he couldn't explain as he said it but he pretended he didn't notice it.

"Weird."

"Yeah."

* * *

The whole interaction confused the almighty fuck out of Eridan. He would have expected Sollux to either not care at all about how Vriska treated him or somehow try to make it worse. What he _didn't_ expect was Sollux trying to make him feel better. It was weird and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

For a few minutes, he was able to forget that he hadn't known Sollux for more than a week. They were able to talk without insulting each other, and the other boy somehow seemed to understand where he was coming from. It wasn't awkward. It felt normal, and besides Feferi and his family, he didn't find that often.

 _Why?_ It didn't make any sense. Sollux was his nemesis, and Eridan didn't believe the bullshit excuse Sollux had given him about "no one besides me is allowed to make you feel like crap." No, Sollux cared in his own twisted way. As little as it made sense, it was almost a relief to realize maybe Fef wasn't his only friend.

He contemplated skipping his World History class, but he had nearly an hour until it started and he didn't to make a plan like that with so much time between now and then. Instead, he pulled out his phone and texted Feferi again.

_vvris showwed up this mornin_

He set his phone down and drummed his fingers on the table. He absently twisted one of his rings around his finger. He looked around without really seeing anything. His eyes fell on the back of Sollux's head and he quickly looked away.

_U)( o)( t)(at doesn't sound good_

_no it wwasnt an before you hear it from someone else i slept wwith her in high school_

He didn't know what compelled him to tell her. Maybe deep down, he knew Sollux was right—if he was eventually going to tell her how he felt about her, he had to be completely honest with her. She had to find out at some point.

But the wait between telling her and her response was agonizing. He suddenly wondered if he'd made a huge mistake.

_W)(ale, t)(at came out of now)(ere_

_like i said you might hear it from someone else. like vvris herself or someone idk. so yeah idk i dont wwant you to think im deliberately wwithholdin information_

_W)(at am I supposed to say, Eridan?_

_idk i wwas just bein honest i guess. are you mad at me or somethin noww_

He felt like an idiot. After three years, it really didn't matter anymore, so what possessed him to bring it up? He wanted to bang his head on the table in hopes of lapsing into a coma. _Fuckin' Sol,_ that's _what happened._ He groaned. If he hadn't listened to Sol's stupid advice, he wouldn't be in this situation where Fef presumably hated him now.

_Of course not! Let me guess, s)(e said somet)(ing really rude about it w)(en you saw )(er, rig)(t?_

_basically yeah_

_You wouldn't be t)(e first. S)(e's )(urt a lot of people, remember?_

_yeah_

_Is s)(e still t)(ere?_

_no she left like fifteen minutes ago_

_Alrig)(t, no worries. Just avoid )(er, and you s)(ould be okay._

Attempting to avoid Vriska seemed to be useless advice, but if he stayed out of sight, it would end better for him. She was right about that. The problem was, he didn't know what classes she had. He crossed his fingers and hoped she wouldn't drop in unexpectedly.

* * *

– – _apocalypseArisen began pestering grimAuxiliatrix– –_

_AA: watch y0ur back. vriska has arrived and is 0n the warpath_

_GA: Is This Information You Have Gleaned From Hearsay Or From An Actual Witnessing Of Events?_

_AA: i saw her. me and s0llux b0th. she laid a verbal smackd0wn 0n eridan amp0ra_

_AA: he was nearly in tears. s0llux had t0 g0 0ver and d0 damage c0ntr0l_

_GA: Shoutpole_

_GA: I Was Ignorant To Vriska And Eridan's Acquaintance. They Are Acquainted, Correct?_

_AA: theyre acquainted_

_AA: intimately_

_GA: …_

_GA: Your Meaning Being?_

_AA: they b0th said they slept together. she added that it was three years ag0_

_GA: I Am Both Surprised And Unsurprised Upon Learning This Information._

_AA: she menti0ned wanting t0 see y0u. i didnt kn0w where y0u are but even if i did i w0uldnt have t0ld her_

_GA: Understood. I Will Attempt To Maintain A Low Profile._

_AA: g00d luck_

– – _apocalypseArisen ceased pestering grimAuxiliatrix– –_

* * *

Kanaya was biting her lip as she put away her phone. Rose was immediately curious. "What happened?"

She weighed her words before speaking. "Do you recall when I explained the situation regarding Vriska?"

"The huge spiderbitch? Of course I do."

"And do you recall when I told you that I surmised she would arrive in a fortnight, or possibly a month?"

"Yes."

"She arrived this morning."

Rose sat back in her chair at the table she and Kanaya were sharing in the library. She'd skipped her Psychology class this morning since it would only be a lecture on material she'd reviewed and comprehended last week. She could afford to skip one class. Besides, Snowman (as her professor was nicknamed, not because she was round and white—in fact, she was quite the opposite—but because of her chilly demeanor) was pretty cool, but she could be long-winded sometimes.

Of course, now that she'd heard Kanaya's news, she was glad she'd decided to skive off her class. She wasn't sure how Kanaya was taking the revelation.

"I see. What now?"

Kanaya ran the knuckle of her thumb over her lip. "I don't know. I guess I follow Aradia's recommendation and avoid an encounter with Vriska for as long as possible."

"And what about when the inevitable encounter happens?"

"I don't believe it's inevitable."

"Okay, you may be right. But for argument's sake, let's assume that you will run into her at some point. What then?"

Kanaya remained silent for a few more moments. "I punch her in the face."

Rose laughed. "I was hoping for a response less along the lines of 'expel me.'"

The shorter girl smiled. "I don't know. I haven't seen her in a month or so."

"She may not even try to get into your head this time."

"I struggle to accept that."

"Why?"

"According to Aradia, Vriska 'laid a verbal smackdown' on another former paramour of hers."

"Sounds juicy."

"I don't know many details."

"Well, if she shows up and you need me for moral support, let me know."

Kanaya smiled again. "Thank you, Rose. But I'll be fine. Any battle I have with her, I want to win in my own right. No one needs to fight for me."

"And that's a perfectly healthy response." Rose ran her fingers through her hair, grinning. "I think you'll be just fine." Her face fell. "John might not be, though. I suppose I'll have to make sure he's not a gibbering idiot during lunch. He may not even know she's here right now."

Kanaya nodded. "True. But perhaps you could call him in a few minutes. I have my Sociology class to go to."

"Want me to walk with you?"

She smiled and stood up. "I would like that very much."


	25. Act 25

It was one of those quintessential southern California mornings, the kind that starts off gray and overcast and burns off into bright and sunny around nine-thirty or ten. Overhead, a few seagulls wheeled through the air, hunting through the parking lots and lawns for stray food. John watched them for a few minutes, wishing he could join them. Flying had always seemed really cool to him, and he wondered what it would be like to fly. He couldn't even imagine the sheer freedom to go wherever you wanted, whenever you wanted, being able to control your own flight, banking left or right, looping under bridges or around street signs, narrowly avoiding being splattered on the pavement, but he wished he could.

He reluctantly pulled himself away from his birdwatching and headed to class. Dave and Karkat would be there already. He was probably late already, but Deuce wouldn't care. He was too nice to publicly humiliate someone.

John sprinted full-tilt through the hallway until he got to his classroom door. He quickly shook his hair back (attempting to actually tame it would only lead to disappointment) and pretended that he hadn't dashed the whole way. He shifted his backpack higher and slunk through the door as quietly as possible.

"Hi, Mr. Egbert," Deuce called in his high, squeaky voice. John flinched and gave an embarrassed, half-hearted wave, and Deuce went right on with his lecture. John made it to the rest of his seat without incident, scooting past Dave (his headphones around his neck, his head tilted back, his eyes closed, and his mouth open; he was quite obviously fake-snoring) and settling between him and Karkat (his head tipped slightly to the right, his eyes unfocused, and his hand frozen over his notebook without a single word written on the page). Apparently he wasn't the only one having an off morning.

Both Dave and Karkat snapped back to reality as John sat down. Both of them looked surprised to see him. "What? What's with the looks?"

Karkat glanced at Dave over John's shoulder. John could only assume that Dave was looking back. They seemed unwilling to explain, hoping the other would jump in.

Karkat broke first. "You were late, so we thought... maybe you ran into someone on the way here."

"Someone? Like who?"

"Like... someone you may not want to fucking talk to."

"I don't—"

"Vriska," Dave cut in.

John blinked, his eyes widening. "Vriska? How could I run into her here?" It didn't make any sense—yeah, she'd called him last week and told her she was going to be coming here soon, but it couldn't be already. It was too soon—only a week!

Dave and Karkat exchanged another glance. John immediately didn't like it. "What?"

Karkat groaned softly and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Ah. Right. Well—" He stopped speaking, his eyes landing over John's shoulder, and John turned around just in time to see Dave stop shaking his head.

"Tell me. Is she here now? She can't be—she told me it would be a few weeks or something."

"Spider-bitch lied," Dave said. "There was a Vriska sighting this morning, and she's already reduced one guy to tears and is on her way to wreck another."

"You're probably on her list, too," Karkat added.

John looked from one of them to the other. "How—"

"Sollux told me. He and Aradia saw her. She started harassing my lab partner. Trust me, she's here."

"Just... be cool, okay? Don't... don't freak out or anything." Dave cast a cursory glance around the classroom. "Look, she's not here right now, so just relax. You gotta deal with her at some point, but... not right now, okay?"

John nodded slowly, his eyes dropping to his desk. Suddenly, it didn't matter that he'd been late for class. He felt caged, trapped, and all he wanted to do was abscond from the classroom, from the building, from the school, from his life. He felt the impending press of his doom closing in on him and he wished he could just fly away, at least for a little while.

Like until Vriska graduated, since expecting her too leave would require too much hope.

But apparently his panic showed on his face since the next thing he knew, Karkat grabbed him by one arm and Dave grabbed him by the other and they held him in his seat, pinning his arms to the desktop, so he sat there and tried to focus on something, anything that wasn't the prospect of seeing Vriska or the hands gripping his arms.

Dave slid the band of his headphones over his head and adjusted them so only the left one covered his ear. John heard quiet murmuring coming from the right one, pressed against Dave's neck, and instead he strained his ears to figure out what the voice was saying. He gave up after he heard what sounded vaguely like "semantic," "beautiful," and "jellyfish," and just closed his eyes. He sensed Karkat shifting slightly in his seat but didn't bother opening his eyes.

Class would be over soon, and then he could go home and hide.

* * *

"I thought I might find you here."

Equius blinked in confusion. Whoever was speaking was definitely talking to him—she'd lightly kicked his leg, either oblivious or deliberately ignorant of the waterfall of perspiration on his skin. He would have expected it to be either Nepeta or Aradia, but he knew the sounds of their voices and it wasn't either of them. Still, he couldn't help but think that she sounded familiar somehow, like a voice he hadn't heard in years.

He rolled out from under the truck he was working on and blinked again. "Vriska? Is that _you_?"

She laughed and leaned against the truck. "Who else would it be?" She looked around the campus hobby shop. "I have a feeling I'm the only female who's been here in a few decades, at least."

"No, Nepeta has spent time here," Equius said, getting to his feet and wiping his gloves off on a towel slung around his neck.

"Are you still hanging out with her? _Really_? I thought that was only some stupid first-grade thing."

"It was third grade," he murmured. "And she is my best friend."

She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "What _ever_. I've got way too many irons in the fire to preoccupy myself with bullshit that's eleven years old."

"Vriska—" he started sharply, but she cut him off.

"Irons. Fire. _All_ of the irons."

"I see. What do you want from me?"

She turned to face him, tilting her head to one side as if sizing him up. "Well, for starters, it turns out that a few people I've been... _involved_ with, shall we say, actually go to this school. A fact that I was unaware of when I decided to transfer here, but..." Vriska grinned at him in such a way that he _knew_ she'd known. "Well, what can you do?"

He remained silent, wiping his forehead with the back of his wrist.

"Right. You never were verbose, were you? Always the strong, silent type. Somehow, I'm not surprised you haven't changed. No one else has—Eridan is still a whiny little bitch, can't do anything without running off crying to Feferi, and Kanaya's grand solution to everything is hiding. I'm surprised I haven't seen Tavros around, either. He was so hard to miss for awhile. John's been MIA all morning—he's probably avoiding me, too."

"Can you blame them? I haven't heard the most charitable things about you from any of them."

"Oh, you know them all, huh?"

"Not Eridan," Equius confessed. "Except by reputation. He and Sollux have started a rivalry."

"Sollux? Who's that? Wait—is he that tall guy with the lisp and the weird glasses?"

Equius straightened up. "My brother and I made those for him."

"Wow, _rivals_? Huh, I guess Eridan _has_ changed. He used to be so obsessed with getting people to like him. I guess he wants people to hate him now, huh? But from what I saw, it's not going quite the way he planned."

" _What do you want from me?_ " Equius repeated.

Vriska flipped her hair in annoyance and crossed her arms over her chest. "Information. There's this girl, a friend of Kanaya's. Her name is Aradia. She—"

"I know her."

"Oh, good—"

"She's my girlfriend," he added.

"Are you _serious_ right now? _Her_?"

"Not... not exactly. Not yet. But—"

"Oh, my God, Equius—"

"I will thank you not to use profanity around me."

"' _Oh, my God_ ' is not profanity. ' _Shut your fucking mouth_ ' _is_ profanity, and I'll thank _you_ to learn the goddamn difference."

Equius closed his eyes and took a deep breath, doing his best to rein in his temper. He didn't lose it very often, but some people had an inherent ability to anger him. Vriska was one of those people.

" _Anyway_ ," she went on, "since you're so close to Miss Megido, find out from her where Kanaya spends her time and clue me in. Add me on Pesterchum, too—my handle is arachnidsGrip."

"No."

"No, what?" She narrowed her eye in a sharp glare.

"I will not spy on people for you."

For a second, it looked like she was about to hit him. She wouldn't have done much more damage than a particularly small and non-lethal spider trying to harm a stallion, but it would have annoyed him either way. She thought better of it at the last minute, though, and simply dropped her arms. "Fine," she snapped. "I'll figure it out _without_ your help. I have a Photography class to get to anyway." Shooting him one last withering glare, she turned and stalked out of the hobby shop.

Equius felt bad for the next person to run into her.

* * *

Eridan was able to suffer through World History and then Biology without incident. He deliberately ignored the way Karkat hinted he knew what happened this morning—apparently, everyone had noticed Vriska and, while she was charismatic and distinctly attractive, somehow knew she wasn't someone to be trifled with.

He managed to locate Fef after she finished swim practice and dragged her off campus for lunch—all the better to avoid Vris—while wishing, for some reason, that Sol was there as well to offer his own brand of emotional support, such as it was. After lunch, he made it to his next class without incident and dropped into his seat, feeling relief and some small measure of pride for having stayed away from Vris since she'd left this morning.

He didn't have much time to enjoy it, though. Moments after Kanaya sat down two seats in front of him and two seconds before their professor started checking attendance, the door flew open and Vriska sailed in.

The bile rose in his throat and he wondered if it was too late to leap out the window, but Vris had already caught sight of him and Kanaya both— _That's right, Sol and Ara both said they had a thing—_ and grinned. He didn't like the predatory look or the way she kept glancing between the two of them.

"And you are...?" their instructor asked.

"Serket. Vriska Serket. I'm new," she added with a deliberately flirty toss of her hair.

Eridan let out an involuntary groan and smacked his forehead on his desk. In front of him, Kanaya started fumbling with her books. A few moments later, a folded-up sheet of paper slid under his arm.

Vriska was just sitting down two rows away from them but a roughly equal distance from both of them. Kanaya, on the other hand, had straightened up and was half-turned in her seat, shooting him a surreptitious glance.

_I Am Of The Belief That Now Is An Appropriate Time To Hasten Our Exit._

_are we runnin from the huge spiderbitch_

_We Are Not Retreating. This Is A Tactical Re-appropriation Of Emotional Defenses._

_im not one for cuttin classes but yeah thats probably a good idea_

_We Should Stagger Our Departures. Two Minutes Should Be A Sufficient Lapse._

_you goin first or me_

_You._

Eridan hadn't even unpacked his bag. He seldom did. So if he timed this just right...

But Vris could follow them, and out of the safety of a structured learning environment, away from the watchful eye of a professional educator, they might not be able to avoid an altercation.

 _Fuck it._ As soon as his teacher turned around, Eridan slipped the strap of his bag over his shoulder, got up, skirted the edge of the classroom, and slipped out the door. He pressed his back to the wall a few feet from the door, counted to one hundred and twenty, and prayed the next person out the door wasn't Vriska.

It was Kanaya. "Let's go," she said, grabbing him by the sleeve and leading him through the hallway.

"Where're we goin'?"

"Away from here."

Considering "away from here" was a good deal better than "the same classroom as Vriska Serket," he allowed himself to be dragged out of the building.


	26. Act 26

Eridan didn't know where Kanaya was leading him until he saw a small knot of people sitting in the grass underneath one of the few trees on campus that wasn't a palm tree. It was actually a massive pine tree that several students had tried (and failed) to scale before. Currently, a boy with dark hair and a blue shirt was hanging from one of the lowest branches by his knees, his shirt falling down around his face, and a blond kid with sunglasses was swatting at him.

Sollux was there, too. Eridan found himself unconsciously searching for him for reasons he couldn't quite fathom (except for the fact that he recognized Aradia and assumed he would be there too) and there he was, sitting up against the trunk with one knee pulled up to his chest and his arms looped around it.

"Um. Are we goin' over there?" he asked hesitantly.

"Of course. They're waiting for us."

"Um. I only recognize Sol an' Ara." And Karkat... and there was Gamzee and Tavros, even though he'd only seen the two of them that one weekend.

"They are present for moral support."

"An' what kind a' moral support is that?"

"We have a common enemy with others."

"Other people Vris have destroyed?"

She flashed him a wry smile. "Certainly you didn't think we were an isolated entity." She continued walking and Aradia stood up and practically sprinted to meet her, flinging her arms around Kanaya. Almost involuntarily, Eridan looked past them to Sollux. For a second, he was sure the other boy was looking at him, too, but he blinked and Sollux was looking down at his shoe. Eridan looked too. The left one was was white and the right one was black, but aside from that, they appeared to be identical. He wondered if Sollux had actually bought two separate but similar pairs of shoes just for the purpose of mismatching them, and then he wondered if his socks were mismatched, too. He couldn't see them from here but he wanted to know.

Aradia led them to the group. She sat back down next to Sollux and Kanaya gracefully slid to the ground next to her. There was a space open in between Karkat and a huge guy with sunglasses who also looked familiar somehow. He knew several of the people in the group, but he felt separate from them, detached. None of them were really his friends. They were all friends with other people—Kanaya had Aradia and Sollux, the blond kid with the sunglasses and his dark-haired friend and Karkat, Tavros had Gamzee, the big guy next to him and the tiny girl with the cat hat... Eridan wondered which one of them had been wronged by Vriska. His money was on the guy—the girl looked too happy.

Eridan drew his own knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them as Aradia stood up. She positioned herself in the middle of the awkward circle and pushed at the head of the dark-haired boy still hanging from the tree limb. He stuck out his tongue and scrambled up, righting himself and balancing carefully on the branch.

"You're gonna get a concussion," the blond kid said. The sunglasses made it impossible to tell where he was looking and he had a pair of headphones hanging around his neck.

The other boy shook his head. "I'll be okay!" His voice had an unnaturally bright quality to it, and if Eridan closed his eyes, he'd think he was being cheerful, but his expression didn't match his tone. For a second, it looked like he'd be okay with falling.

"As long as he pays attention, he can stay up there," Aradia said, looking pointedly up at him.

He waved in acknowledgment.

"So. I think we all know why we're here right now."

No one said a word.

"Right. Kanaya, what time does that Photography class end?"

"Four."

"That gives us nearly two hours to come up with a solution to this issue. Oh, sorry about asking you all to skip your classes, but I figured you'd welcome any excuse."

A faint chuckle went around the group. Sollux laughed, too, dropping his head and laughing at his knee. Eridan half-smiled.

"So. What are we going to do about Vriska?"

No one had an answer.

"Nothing? Surely one of you has an idea."

"W-well," Eridan stuttered, fighting to keep his voice level, "I think that hurtin' her like she hurt us is a good start."

"Okay, great. How do we do that?"

As to that, Eridan didn't have an idea. He didn't want to talk about this—it was a part of his life he wanted to forget. He didn't want to talk about how she'd hurt him. She'd been using him for his money and as an easy lay, and he'd been sucked into it, made to think it meant something to her. He'd never been in love with her—he'd had no delusions about his true feelings for her—but it still meant something to _him_. He imagined his (hypothetical) sexual partners would have some meaning to him, not just someone manipulating him. Maybe that was why he'd focused so sharply on Feferi after Vriska crushed him. Fef wouldn't hurt him—not intentionally, not like Vris had.

He couldn't even imagine what it would take to make Vriska feel like she couldn't trust people like that.

Instead, he pulled out his phone and texted Fef. _so vvris wwas in my photo class an kan an me left an noww wwere at this thing ara planned for people that vvris hurt an i guess wwere plannin some wway a gettin back at her or somethin_

"I find infidelity a difficult illusion to maintain," Kanaya said carefully. "It would take considerable planning as well as recruiting others to our cause to implement the plan. I don't see that working."

_Sounds arduous. W)(at's )(appening?_

_nothin yet. no one has any good ideas. please come okay i dont knoww half these people an they all got friends a their owwn_

Up in the tree, the boy with the dark hair nodded and sighed. "She sucks."

Karkat groaned and smacked his forehead. "Of course she does, John. Now would you get your windy blue ass down here?! You're making me nervous."

A ripple of laughter went up at the description of John's ass as windy and blue. Even Eridan laughed and pretended not to notice when Sollux looked at him even though he was secretly pleased.

_W)(o else is t)(ere besides Aradia and Kanaya?_

_sol an kar and gamz and tavv an some guy named john an a couple other people i dont knoww_

John let out a frustrated groan, tilted his head back to look at the upper branches, and then finally, reluctantly, dropped down. Aradia stepped out of the way just in time and John landed feet first, tucked his body, and rolled in between Karkat and the blond boy. Neither of them looked all that amused, but the tiny girl with the cat hat giggled and clapped her hands. John sat up properly, face red.

_Alrig)(t, let me swim off from class reel quick._

Eridan rolled his eyes but put away his phone, relieved that she would come. He felt strange here, considering the only person he was really friendly with was his _rival_. Who'd offered his own strange brand of comfort earlier today and had even made him laugh when he hadn't felt like it at all.

"Right, okay. Now that _that's_ been resolved..." Aradia rolled her eyes. "Do you guys even want to do this?"

"I think she's evil," Tavros said suddenly, his voice raising at the end as if he were asking a question or as though he hadn't finished his sentence. Still, he stopped talking, although his hand gripped Gamzee's arm tightly. The taller boy had his legs splayed with Tavros right in between, his arms wrapped protectively around him. Before this, Tavros had been running his fingers over Gamzee's arms, but a second or two before he spoke, he abruptly dug his nails into his arm.

Gamzee hadn't appeared to notice or be bothered by it, though. He simply moved his free arm to the back of Tavros's neck and rubbed.

The girl with the cat hat tore her eyes away from John long enough to say, "I agree, but... is it _fur_ —I mean fair, sorry!—to, like, gang up on her like this? This kinda seems like bullying."

"She approached me early and asked me to spy," the big guy next to her said quietly, before Aradia could say anything.

"She... she what?" she asked.

The big guy nodded. "Specifically, she wanted me to ask _you_ about Miss Maryam's whereabouts."

_Miss Maryam...? Oh, Kan._

"Why you?"

Suddenly, the big guy looked highly uncomfortable. "I knew her in elementary school. She was the girl I told you about, the one who lost her eye in the crash."

 _That's how...?_ He hadn't known that. Apparently, neither had Kanaya or Tavros, since their eyes widened in surprise.

"That was a long time ago," Aradia said. "Why now?"

"We... we used to be friendly."

"They used to be best friends," the girl with the cat hat explained.

"Nepeta," the big guy said warningly.

"Shoosh!" She swatted at him, although he didn't even flinch. "It was twelve years ago, though! And she left school right after the accident!"

"We lost contact after that," the big guy added.

Aradia pinched the bridge of her nose. "Crap, this is a mess. Alright, Equius, at least you told her no. That's what counts."

Eridan's glance strayed toward Sollux again. It was hard _not_ to look at him—he was right across from him. Sollux was rubbing the back of his neck, brows furrowed and full lips pursed. Eridan would have given half his fortune to know what he was thinking.

He didn't have long to wonder, though. "Look," Sollux said slowly, starting to look up, "I have an idea, and you can feel free to reject it if you want.

"From what I've seen, she thrives on attention. She loves making people feel awful. So the idea is to just... ignore her. It sounds simple, but it'll kill her. Now, it's probable that she'll move on to tormenting other people, but if that ends up happening, we could have more people on board with ignoring her. If the people she wants to hurt just pretend she doesn't exist, she could stop completely."

No one spoke for several long moments. Eridan had to admit, it sounded like a pretty good idea. Simple—that was true—but the simplicity made it beautiful. Vriska's love of manipulating people was a weakness as well as a strength. If they could cut their reactions, pretend she didn't exist, it would strip her of her power. It was a good idea.

"I like it," he said before he could stop himself. The group looked at him in surprise, not the least of which was the pleasantly stunned look on Sollux's face. He almost looked to be fighting a grin, and Eridan didn't like the way his heart rate picked up at that smile.

"It has merit," Kanaya seconded. "Simple and elegant seems the way to go."

Aradia nodded slowly. "John, Tavros? What about you two?"

Tavros nodded, too. "I think it's a good idea." His voice still rose at the end, but he smiled as Gamzee kissed the back of his head.

"John? You on board?" the blond kid asked, nudging him.

For a second or two, it didn't look like John had heard him. But then, after an interminable wait, he nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Let's do it."

"Good," Aradia said. "But we all need to do this—it can't just be them. _All_ of us have to ignore her. Tell your friends, too. Make sure they know not to acknowledge anything she says or does. And we should meet again sometime soon to check in on each other. Agreed?"

There was a murmur of assent and a chorus of nodding heads, and Aradia grinned.

"Good," she said again. "And with forty-five minutes until the end of Vriska's class."

Gamzee almost jumped a foot in the air. "Motherfucker! I'm late!" He grabbed his backpack, planted a quick kiss on Tavros's cheek, and said, "Motherfuckin' World History, motherfuckers!" Without further ado, he dashed off to the second-closest building, and Tavros actually laughed.

After that, everyone started getting up and picking up their belongings, wandering off in twos and threes. Feferi hadn't shown up—Eridan figured she hadn't been able to skip like she'd said—so he slung his bag over his shoulder, shot one last glance at Sollux—he was looking back and the moment their eyes locked, he immediately looked away—and headed off toward the campus coffee shop. He needed a caffeine pick-me-up.


	27. Act 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's left comments on this story! You all make me so happy! (And like maybe, after I write an original story, it just might get a small but rabid fanbase!)

Sollux pretended that he hadn't just caught Eridan looking at him. He was just concerned for whatever reason about him—he hadn't seen him so visibly uncomfortable before this morning, before Vriska. She'd hurt him badly. Sollux could tell. It wasn't necessarily illogical to want to do what he could to cheer him up.

She'd hurt Kanaya and Tavros and John, too, he told himself, and he didn't find himself flying to comfort any of _them_. He did his best to ignore that thought, too.

"That was a really good idea," Aradia said as they headed back to the cafeteria. She slung one arm across his shoulders and the other around Kanaya's.

He shrugged. "Thanks." He couldn't resist looking back over his shoulder at the other departing figures. Nepeta and Equius were striding off towards a far parking lot, the nearly foot and a half height difference between them almost comical. She had to take three steps to match every one of his. Karkat was helping Tavros to his feet, and the two of them along with John and Dave headed to a building about a hundred yards away labeled with a four-foot-tall _C_. Eridan, though, had stopped walking and abruptly sat back down, and Sollux suddenly wondered where Feferi was. He hadn't seen her all day, and now that he was thinking about it, he would have expected her to be there. Where _was_ she? Eridan was just sitting there by himself, all alone...

A sick feeling twisted in Sollux's gut. "You guys go on ahead, okay?" He pulled away from Aradia's arm and started back toward Eridan.

"Want us to save you a seat?" she asked.

"Uh. Yeah, sure." He didn't know if he'd actually be back, but he figured it was better to be on the safe side. For all he knew, Eridan could snap at him and tell him to leave. _I really don't know all that much about him._

Still, for the second time that day, he found himself approaching Eridan with no idea how it would turn out.

"Hey. Uh, you okay?"

Eridan looked up, his purple eyes looking even bigger than normal, and slowly, he shook his head. "This whole situation is fucked-up," he said.

 _Well, it's an improvement._ Sollux sat down across from Eridan. Again, he wondered what the Hell possessed him to talk to a guy who hated him. Although it seemed like maybe Eridan was hating him a less and less. He hadn't said anything really mean to him, not since last week, and yeah, that prank he pulled had been a dick move, but it wasn't like Sollux had been completely defenseless. He'd also gotten his retaliation even though he harbored no actual hatred for him. It felt more like a friendly rivalry than anything else.

So were they friends?

Vriska had seemed to think they were _dating_. That might have just been a joke, but still... They weren't exactly enemies, so did that make them friends?

"Well, _yeah_ ," he said, "but she's a fucked-up person."

"Yeah, I guess."

There was a few moments of silence, wherein Sollux glanced occasionally at Eridan and tried to figure out what was going on. Friendship—if that's what this was—was a complicated emotion.

The silence was broken, however, when Feferi appeared out of nowhere, charging across the grass and practically flinging herself to the ground where they were sitting. "So _glubbing_ sorry! What did I miss?" She looked apologetically from Eridan to Sollux, but when she saw him, her expression shifted to one of amused curiosity. "Hmm. What _did_ I miss?"

"Right—see you later," Sollux said quickly. He stood up, grabbed his backpack, and chased after Aradia and Kanaya.

"What was that all about?" Feferi asked, watching Sollux's retreat.

"I don't know. He... Everyone left already, but he came up with a pretty good idea for gettin' back at Vris."

"Hmm. I _sea_. What's the plan?"

"Ignore her. Sol said she likes attention an' if she doesn't have a' audience, she'll stop. Theoretically."

" _Whale_ , he's right about her wanting an audience. She probably won't like being ignored much. But that doesn't answer my question. What was he doing here, with _you_?" She grinned.

"I don't know," he repeated. He really didn't, either—Sol just seemed to know when he was feeling down and alone and came by to talk to him. He was being nice to him, but Eridan couldn't figure out why. "But he... um, when Vris left this mornin', he came over an' talked to me."

"What did he say?"

"I don't remember," he lied. He remembered every word.

" _Whale_ , was he rude?"

Eridan shook his head. "No. I mean... no. He's been nice." He'd been nice to Eridan all day, aside from first thing this morning, but he could admit that was his own fault. If he hadn't started harassing Sol, he probably wouldn't have been snarky with him at all.

Then again, if he hadn't started harassing Sol, he would have been by himself when Vris saw him and Sol might not have even noticed and he would have been by himself the whole time and she might have stuck around even longer because he wouldn't have had the shield of Sol and Ara, neither of whom were taking any of her shit. He might be even worse off than he was now.

" _Nice_? Nice how?"

"He... fuck, Fef, he just came over an' made me feel better. I don't know."

" _Whale_ , that's good. I'm sorry I couldn't be here earlier."

"It's okay."

She sighed, leaning toward him and giving him an awkward sideways hug. "I don't feel like going back to class anymore. Wanna get out of here?"

"Yeah. I just need to get some coffee first."

"Okay." She climbed to her feet, helped him up, and they picked up their backpacks and started off toward the campus coffee shop.

* * *

"So, how was Mr. Ampora?"Aradia teased as Sollux sat down at their table.

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah. FF showed up, so I left."

Kanaya nodded solemnly. "I understand how awkward that must have been. It must be difficult to be the boyfriend when the girlfriend is around."

Sollux nearly slammed his forehead against the table. "I'm not his boyfriend, and she's not his girlfriend."

"Right. You may not be his boyfriend, but you'd _like_ to be his boyfriend," Aradia said.

"No, I don't!"

"Oh, come on. That's _twice_ in one day you've gone rushing to his side, waiting to assist in the destruction of his evil ex. It's like Scott Pilgrim in reverse. Admit it—you like him."

Aradia was right—he _had_ talked to Eridan out of nowhere twice today. The fact that Eridan had been alone at his lowest had been too much for him to stand. He had to do something about it. Irrationally, he did like Eridan. Somehow, the asshole pulled himself out of his own self-loathing shell like no one else could.

She must have realized what the look on his face meant, because when she spoke next, her tone was less teasing and more full of realization. "Oh, my God. You actually _do_ like him. You've got a big gay crush on him!"

"Shut up, please," he muttered, putting his head down on the table and covering his head with his arms. He was pretty sure his face was burning red.

"Oh, my God. I am legitimately in shock right now."

"Yeah, you and me both."

Eridan Ampora was an _asshole_. Sollux liking him didn't make any sense. He was rude and obnoxious and... Well, he was devoted, if his long-time crush on Feferi was any indication. And he had the ability to laugh at himself in most cases. And he hadn't been angry when Sollux played that prank on him—he'd wanted him to do _better_. And he was hot, too. Like _really_ hot. He bit his lip. He hated to admit, even to himself, how genuinely attracted to Eridan he was. Even with the tendency to be an asshole—which seemed to be diminishing the more he got to know him—Sollux did really like him. _Fuck._ It figured that the first time in nearly two years he'd liked anyone, it would be some guy who didn't even _like_ guys.

"Wow." Aradia let out a giggle and ruffled his hair. "That bad, huh?"

"Can we please never speak of this again?" Sollux asked, tilting his head so she could distinguish his words. "I'm trying to forget all about this."

"Well, at least you're not crushing on Vriska Serket," she pointed out.

"No, I'm just crushing on her sloppy seconds." Then he flinched and looked up at Kanaya. "I am so sorry."

A muscle in her jaw twitched, but she nodded. "You spoke without thinking. I understand."

He grimaced. "I am really sorry. I didn't mean it like that." He felt like an asshole now. He really hadn't meant it the way it came out, but the damage had been done.

"I know."

There was an awkward silence until Aradia asked, "So, are you still going to play another prank on him?"

Sollux groaned. "Can we talk about anything except ED? At this point, I really don't care what the fuck it is."

Aradia giggled. "If you insist. Like what?"

He lifted his head. "How about EQ? What about that big reveal that he used to be VS's friend?"

Her face fell. "He was eight. He couldn't have known what an evil bitch she'd turn out to be. I'm not happy about it, but he didn't know her that well. And he never hurt anyone."

"You still like him?"

"Of course I do."

"I'm going to find Rose," Kanaya said abruptly, standing up. Without waiting for an answer, she glided out of the cafeteria, and Sollux groaned.

"Did I completely fuck that up?"

"Not completely, but you _did_ piss her off."

"I didn't mean to."

"I know you didn't, and _she_ knows you didn't, but she's still upset."

He started to stand. "Maybe I should—"

"No." She grabbed his arm and tugged him back to his seat. "Just leave her. Let her be angry for a little while. She'll forgive you, but she's had a very rough couple of weeks and I don't think she's been properly angry in a long time. It might be good for her. Just stay put."

* * *

Eridan made it through the rest of the day without running into Vriska again, something he was extremely grateful. His paranoia over possibly seeing her again had him on-edge and looking over his shoulder constantly, even after Fef looked around and told him Vriska was nowhere in sight. Even then, he couldn't relax until he was safely ensconced in his car and heading back to Cronus's apartment.

When he got home, Cronus was gone. Still at work, presumably. It was another of the pitifully few things Eridan genuinely liked about his brother—Cronus had scheduled work hours and he adhered to them. He actually even liked his job, which was weird since he just worked at a gas station. He'd taken the first job to hire him, and since he still got money from their parents every month (not to mention the inheritance he had coming to him), he was quite happy to bide his time. He'd talked about going back to college, but Eridan could tell it was just meaningless chatter, intended to make their parents happy.

Honestly, if Eridan had less motivation than he did, he would probably be in the same boat as Cronus.

He set his bag down on the floor of his bedroom and stared at the empty space where his hypothetical fish tank would go. He still felt tense and wished he'd already gotten his fish tank—it would relax him.

 _Fuck it._ He stood back up, patted down his pockets for his keys, wallet, and phone, and left again. It was time to get a damn fish tank.


	28. Act 28

Four hours later, Eridan was dumping water into his new aquarium, two washed-out gallon containers of milk at a time. Cronus walked back into the apartment halfway through and watched him with amusement, crossing his arms over his chest and kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. "Whatcha doin' there, daddy-o?" he asked.

"Shut up," Eridan grunted, hefting two more gallons of water into his room.

When he came back out, Cronus was still sitting on the sofa with a grin on his face.

Four more trips passed before Eridan finished filling up the tank. He poured two milliliters of dechlorinator solution into the water and set the bottle down on the desk. Then he attached the oxygenator to the side of the tank, poured in enough purple gravel to line the bottom of the tank with about two inches of rock, and stuck the lighted hood on top of the tank. He stared at it all for a moment, the water gurgling and running through the eighteen thousand filters, and flipped on the light. The whole mess—the quiet hum of the oxygenator, the gentle bubbling, the purple rocks—already had him calming down. Even without the fish swimming around (he'd found out at the PetCo that he'd have to wait at least a week before adding any fish to allow the water to become habitable, which disappointed him, but the clerk named Rufioh had set aside three bright yellow fish for him to pick up next Wednesday), it was already worth it. He was already thinking of all the other little accessories he could put in there—seaweed, a castle, maybe a few plastic treasure chests. He wanted his fish to be happy.

He set the remainder of the gravel in his closet and sat down on the edge of his bed. He wondered if a seahorse or two would be happy in there. Maybe that would make the tank too crowded. He'd have to talk to Rufioh again next week.

There was a knock on the door, but before Eridan could yell at Cronus to stay out, the door opened and his brother stuck his head in. "Oh, tuff, daddy-o! You got an aquarium!"

"No shit, Sherlock," Eridan grumbled. _Note to self: burn his copy of_ The Outsiders _._ "Don't fuck with it."

"Cool it, I'm not gonna mess with anythin'." Without even looking at him, Cronus crossed the room and peered into the aquarium. "No fish?"

"Not yet," Eridan said. In spite of the disdain he held for his brother, he did want to talk about this. "The guy at the PetCo said I can't add any yet. That's tap water in there. The fish'll die since the water ain't habitable yet."

Cronus nodded, and Eridan got the impression he was only half-listening until he said, "What kind a' fish you gettin'?"

"Uh. Yellow ones?"

His brother laughed and straightened up. "Terribly specific. I hear the yellow ones are boss."

"Yeah."

Cronus lurked there for a few more moments, staring into the fish tank. The reflections from the water played across his face, turning the blue-purple shade of his eyes into a pure blue. Then, just as abruptly as he'd entered Eridan's bedroom, he straightened up, stuck the cigarette that had been tucked behind his ear into his mouth, and mumbled around it, "You hungry, daddy-o?"

"A little," Eridan admitted. "You shouldn't smoke," he added. He'd told his parents over the weekend that he was trying to get Cronus to quit, but that had been a lie. This was the first he'd ever mentioned to his brother that his smoking bothered him.

The elder Ampora looked briefly surprised. "I know," he said after a moment. He shrugged. "You probably shouldn't drink so much joe."

Eridan rolled his eyes. There was a difference between coffee and cigarettes in terms of health damage.

"My Sophie's been tryin' a' make me quit, too," Cronus murmured.

"Your _what_?"

Cronus rolled his eyes. "My girlfriend. Get with it, square."

Eridan groaned and rubbed his temples. "Newsflash, bro: it's 2013, not 1956. _You_ 'get with it'. I didn't even know you _had_ a girlfriend."

"Surprise, surprise. Dolls don't completely hate me." The cigarette was still poised, unlit, in Cronus's mouth. "I was gonna order a pizza. You like pepperoni, right?"

He couldn't believe it. For a second, he wanted to believe that he and Cronus were about to have a brother bonding moment, and he'd somehow completely ignored the fact that Eridan was at least a vegetarian. "Uh, bro? I don't fuckin' eat meat."

"You're a vegetarian?" Cronus seemed genuinely confused. "Since when?"

"Since like the tenth fuckin' grade, moron! Come on—it's been four, five years by now!" He scoffed and hopped off his bed. "Forget it. I'm goin' out to eat," he snapped. He snatched up his keys and headed to the door but froze with his hand on the doorknob when Cronus said softly, "Wait."

Eridan turned around and crossed his arms over his chest. "What?" He couldn't believe he'd once looked up to this guy. Cronus was three years older than him. Until the age of fourteen, he'd been Eridan's idol. Then Cronus started slipping deeper into his obsession with the greaser heydays and speaking practically a brand-new language. Even their parents were confused, but they were used to it—they'd been teenagers in the late fifties and early sixties. But for Eridan, it had been like he'd lost his best friend, and even before Cronus had moved out, they lost contact. But this one little fact, something Cronus probably should have realized since Eridan had been living at his apartment for a year and a half now, had completely escaped his brother's notice. How could someone live with another person for that long and not realize?

"Look, I'm sorry. I guess that _was_ stupid of me," Cronus admitted. "So, okay. No pizza. We can get somethin' else. What're you hungry for?"

"Um." Eridan wasn't quite sure what to say. "Uh, there's an Italian place, Big Rico's—they got some pretty good eggplant Parmesan," he suggested. He set his keys down.

Cronus smiled. "Sounds good. They deliver?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'll order somethin'. Stick around." Even though he was only an inch taller than Eridan, he ruffled his younger brother's hair (as well as he could, considering Eridan's hair was, as usual, coated in product to defy gravity) as he pulled out his phone and left his brother's bedroom.

Eridan watched until the door closed and he sat back down on his bed again. _Weird._ He went back to staring at the fish tank.

* * *

Sollux reluctantly gathered up the few articles of clothing that littered his bedroom floor, tossed them in his laundry basket, and eyed the plastic container disdainfully. He absolutely _hated_ braving the apartment complex's laundry facility. No matter what time of day (or night) he went down there, there was always someone there. He just wanted to be left in peace as he did his laundry, but inevitably, whoever was down there would try to make conversation. Sollux considered writing "FUCK OFF" on his forehead in marker but deemed that too subtle for some of the people in this building. Most of them were college students as well, and under normal circumstances, they might leave him alone, but for some reason, doing laundry brought out the chattiness in people. Dave Strider would probably keep his mouth shut if he saw Sollux, but Sollux had never had the fortune to do laundry with Strider.

His utter distaste for doing laundry here caused him to only do laundry once every two or three weeks. He had enough clothes to last that long, but it didn't help much because every excursion to the laundry room was enough to make him want to climb into his basket of clean clothes and hide and never come out. He suppressed the instinct, though, hefted his laundry basket onto his hip, and headed downstairs.

He peered around the laundry room. Aside from a couple in the corner, the room was deserted, and Sollux very nearly breathed a sigh of relief. He knew better than to actually express his relief, though—that was a sure way to jinx himself and cause the building's chattiest resident to appear with four loads of laundry and nothing to do but talk to him. It wasn't that he necessarily didn't like talking to people, because he did. It was just strangers that bothered him, and people he saw randomly at school halfway across campus still counted as strangers.

He chose a washing machine as far away from the couple as possible and started tossing clothing into the drum. He paid two dollars and fifty cents for a packet of soap, emptied that into his washer, and started it up. For a few moments, he watched the colors swirl together before growing bored and taking his Nintendo DS out of his back pocket. This was usually a better indicator of "I don't want to talk to you" than texting (or pretending to text) someone. _Everyone_ had their phones, and somehow the implication had become "I can multitask by talking to you and texting at the same time, so talk to me!" Generally, actual video games were better at getting people to leave him alone.

One half of the couple in the corner let out a giggle, and Sollux cringed and tried to make himself smaller. He slid off the bench he'd been sitting on and sank to the floor in the corner, wedged between the wall and his washer. There was pretty much no way anyone would get through to steal his clothes without attracting his attention (he'd learned the hard way his first week not to leave laundry unattended. It was a lesson he only needed to learn once—his Gemini shirt had been among the items that had been swiped, and he hadn't found another one like it).

He was halfway through a replay of a previously-beaten world in _Super Mario 4_ when the buzzer on the washing machine went off. Sollux stashed his Nintendo and switched his sopping wet clothing over to the nearest dryer, holding it awkwardly away from his body so his shirt didn't get wet as well. After paying another dollar and fifty cents for a small package of dryer sheets (he only ever used one but somehow the package managed to vanish in the two or three weeks between loads, and he had to buy another pack), he started up the dryer and huddled next to it, staying out of the sight line of the couple. The one was still giggling, but they were making out now, too, and Sollux desperately wished he wasn't there. There was no way they didn't know he was in the room with them, but they clearly didn't care.

He was forcibly reminded of Eridan as the couple came up for air and both of them laughed. He wasn't sure _why_ Eridan suddenly came to mind—he wasn't even sure he'd ever heard the guy actually laugh. But the idea that somewhere, Eridan could be doing his own laundry and avoiding exactly the same kind of social interaction as him made him want to crawl into a dryer and spin until he had a concussion and didn't have to think anymore. He knew his face was burning and, not for the first time, he silently cursed himself for having the worst judgment in the world—both for crushing on a guy who didn't even like other guys, and for crushing on that particular ass-wagon.

The next half an hour dragged by agonizingly slow, but the couple left about ten minutes before Sollux's laundry finished tumbling and five minutes after one of the few elderly women in the building shuffled into the laundry room. He kept himself as hidden as possible, hoping to avoid detection until his clothing was dry. Once the dryer buzzed, he yanked open the door, scooped out his clothing, and nearly sprinted to the elevator in record time.

Now, though, he wasn't sure which was worse: the prospect of being corralled into a conversation with a total stranger, or the knowledge that tomorrow, he'd somehow have to face Eridan Ampora and pretend that nothing had changed.


	29. Act 29

The next two days went by better than Eridan expected. True, Sol seemed to be avoiding so much as looking at him, let alone talking to him or being anywhere near him, but he tried not to let that bother him too much. Besides, just as suddenly as Vris appeared in his life, she seemed as content to fade out of it. He thankfully only had that lone Photography class with her, but since he skipped that on Wednesday in favor of hanging out with the group he'd somehow assimilated into, he counted that as a win.

However much she left him alone, though, she had turned the full wrath of her presence on John and Kanaya. He figured this had something to do with the fact that Gamzee Makara genuinely scared the shit out of her (Hell, the guy freaked _him_ out sometimes, but he didn't doubt that Tavros would make it through the ordeal while only suffering a minimum of Vriska's presence) which explained why she seemed content not to bother Tavros, but he couldn't fathom why he'd been left out of the warpath. The only logical assumption he could come up with was that she found him boring. This wouldn't have surprised him, though—it was one of the reasons she'd been able to leave him so easily in the first place.

On Tuesday night, he ended up sketching the aquarium after turning off all the lights in his room save the light on the aquarium itself. He also took a few pictures of the way the light through the water reflected off his bedroom walls. He didn't think they'd be any good, but he needed the practice (in both photography and sketching) and he liked it anyway, so that was what counted. The water was a good muse for him, and it still calmed him down.

The meeting on Wednesday went much the same as the one they'd had on Monday. They gathered beneath the same tree and arranged themselves—whether consciously or unconsciously—in the same circle and in the same order, Eridan sitting between Karkat and Equius (as he'd learned was the name of the huge guy who had once been Vriska's friend). He was only slightly more comfortable with the group today than he was on Monday, but he chalked that up to nerves and the fact that Sollux's eyes stayed almost exclusively on the ground. Once or twice he glanced up toward Aradia, but he never looked at Eridan once.

Kanaya helpfully informed the group that ignoring Vriska had taken some of the proverbial wind out of her sails, and John concurred. He told them how Vriska had begun teasing him on the sidewalk in front of the Science building, and he and Dave had kept right on talking as if she wasn't there. He confessed it was one of the hardest things he'd done—Dave hid a snicker behind his hand at the double entendre, which John missed—but he managed it and, within two or three minutes, she let out a frustrated groan and walked away. It was certainly good news on that front, but Eridan couldn't help but wonder how long it would work. Vris was smart—she'd come up with some other way of getting under their skin soon enough.

After the group split up, Eridan hung back to talk to Aradia. She'd mentioned again gathering the group for a meet-up this weekend if everyone was able to come together and plan something, and it had given Eridan an idea. He needed to get his parents on board, but they were usually pretty easy-going...

"I had a' idea for somethin' we could do. Like, as a group," he said.

Aradia raised her eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"Well," he started carefully, suspecting but not quite sure that maybe Sollux was finally looking at him (he couldn't check without being obvious about it, since the other boy was behind him), "I can talk to my parents an' they'll probably be cool with it, but I w-was thinkin' a' havin' like a party or somethin' at my house. Not, like, a' _actual_ party, but somethin' w-where w-we could all hang out an' or maybe Saturday night. Like the only problem I could see is gettin' a few more people to driv-ve since my house is up near LA, but Fef would probably be okay with driv-vin' an' I can take a few-w people, so w-we got like eight people taken care a' for that." He was well-aware that he was starting to babble and when he babbled, he started to trip over his _V_ s and _W_ s, but he hoped that by talking faster, she (and Sollux) wouldn't notice it.

She appeared thoughtful for a moment or two, and he was sure she was going to say no, but then she started nodding slowly. "That sounds like a good idea, actually. What do you think, Sollux?" she added, grinning at the other boy over Eridan's shoulder. He turned.

"Yeah," Sollux muttered. His eyes stayed fixed on the ground and he twisted and untwisted his fingers through one of the straps on his backpack. "Great."

Trying not to feel disappointed by Sollux's lack of enthusiasm, Eridan looked back at Aradia. "'Kay. All I need to do is clear it with my parents but they should be okay with it," he said. "Uh, an' when I find out, I'll let you know."

"Alright, sounds good! I'm sure everyone else will be thrilled with the idea of getting out of here for awhile."

Eridan took that as an excuse to leave, so he quickly said goodbye to both Aradia and Sollux and headed off in search of caffeine.

* * *

"'Yeah, great,'" Aradia taunted lightly, putting her arm around Sollux's shoulders and steering him back toward the cafeteria. "It's a wonder he didn't swoon when you said that."

"I'm not trying to get him to _swoon_ ," Sollux grumbled. "I just... fuck, I don't know."

"Oh, come on, you know I'm just teasing. You're shy, I get it. It's hard work admitting you like someone."

"Especially _that_ raging asshat," he added.

"He's a raging asshat that you like anyway."

"And the less anyone says about that, the better."

"Alright, well, let me ask you this: not being polite, but being honest, how do you _really_ feel about going to this party at Eridan's place? I'm sure he'd understand if you didn't show up."

Sollux sighed. "Watching him moon over FF all night isn't my idea of a fun time."

"He probably won't, though. He'll probably moon over her half the time," she joked.

"I don't want to be in a fucking car with him. Or FF, either. So who else would we get to drive?"

"Well, there should be twelve of us with Feferi. So they can take ten people including themselves, and we can ask either Gamzee or Equius to drive. And if Equius drives, we can cut down on the congestion in the other two cars. I think that would be okay, huh? You, me, and Nepeta can ride with Equius and everyone else can figure out who to go with on their own."

"I haven't even decided if I want to go."

"Well, decide fast. Friday is two days away."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome, Major Sarcasm."

* * *

"You said _what_?" Fef demanded.

Eridan huddled against the cushioned booth, staring at the table and taking an anxious sip of his coffee. "I said that there would be a party an'—"

"Okay, I know what you said," she corrected, flipping her hair back, "but _why_?"

"It felt like the right thin' to do. Besides, it's been awhile since... I don't know..."

"You hung out with someone besides me?" she guessed.

"Kinda."

"Good. You need more friends."

"Yeah, but now I gotta talk to my parents an' see if they'll be cool with us takin' over the house for the weekend."

" _Whale_ , it's not like either of us threw any wild parties in high school. They should trust us."

"So you think."

"Just ask them. And if they say no, I'm sure my mom will be fine with a bunch of twenty-year-olds filling up her house for the night."

"Yeah, let's hope." He'd told Aradia that his parents would probably not mind him having a party, but now that he was away from her, he became less sure. Even so, he knew that there was no way around it besides actually asking, so he reluctantly pulled out his phone and tapped his mom's number.

He took another drink as she answered, so he swallowed it quickly (burning his throat on the way down) and said, "Hey, Mom. How're you?"

"Just fine, dear. I can't say I expected your call today," she added with a laugh. In the background, he heard a sliding door open and then, faintly, the sound of waves on a beach. The door closed and after a moment, the sound gradually grew louder.

"Uh, where are you?" It didn't sound like home.

"The Bahamas."

 _Of course._ "Why?"

She snorted with laughter. "Have you checked your calendar?"

"October twenty-third?"

"Yes. And what happens on October thirtieth?"

He tried to remember. Vriska's birthday was Halloween, but his mom's birthday was in July and his dad's was in May, so it wasn't either of those... "I got nothin'."

She laughed again. "Well, at least your dad didn't forget. Our wedding anniversary."

Eridan smacked his forehead. "Right, yeah. Sorry, I forgot. What, thirty-one years now, right?"

"Thirty-four."

"Crap. I'll remember it next year. Well, congratulations, then. Please tell me you're not on a nude beach."

"Technically, it's a private beach."

"I don't like the use a' the word 'technically.'"

"And I don't care," she said lightly. "Well, if your call is not because of the occasion, why _did_ you call?"

"Can't I just call to check up on you?"

"Sure you can. You never do, though."

Damn, she had him pinned. "Alright, well, I was wonderin' if I could have some friends over at the house this weekend. I thought you were still home," he added unnecessarily.

"Clearly. Let me go ask Dad." She set the phone down somewhere and Eridan groaned.

"What?" Fef asked.

"She put me on hold."

"Ah. Where are they?"

"The Bahamas. Their anniversary's next week."

"Oooh, when are they gonna be back?"

"I don't know. I'll ask when she gets back to the damn phone."

"Eridan Rachel Ampora, you know your mother doesn't like to hear swearing," Feferi said with mock sternness, but the effect was ruined by the obviously phony middle name.

"Alright, Eridan?" his mom said, returning to the phone a few minutes later.

"Yes, Mother?"

"Your father and I agreed that you can have your friends over at the house on a few conditions."

"Name 'em."

"If anyone makes a mess, it will be cleaned up before we get home. That'll be November third, by the way. Next, you can have alcohol, as long as _absolutely no one_ drives after drinking. Finally, lock up our bedroom and the study. Everywhere else is fine."

"Deal."

"Have fun, then, and try not to get too crazy, alright?"

"No promises."

"Promise anyway."

"'Kay. No messes, no drinkin' an' drivin', an' they'll all stay outta your rooms."

"Thank you."

"Yeah. Have fun on your trip." Eridan hung up and looked at Feferi. "She said yes."

"So the next step is alcohol?"

"Yeah." He sighed. "Do we know anyone over twenty-one?"

"Meenah, but that won't work for obvious reasons, unless we want to go over to my house before the party."

"Yeah, no. Let's not do that."

"So what else can we do?"

Eridan sighed again. "The only thing we can do. Looks like I gotta ask Cro."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed this story! I love you all!


	30. Act 30

– – _caligulasAquarium began pestering apocalypseArisen– –_

_CA: so i talked to my parents an theyre fine wwith us havvin a party at their place this wweekend_

_AA: g00d i will relay this inf0rmati0n t0 the gr0up. stand by_

– – _apocalypseArisen ceased pestering caligulasAquarium– –_

– – _apocalypseArisen has invited caligulasAquarium to join the thread vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _caligulasAquarium has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _ectoBiologist has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _carcinoGeneticist has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _grimAuxiliatrix has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _cuttlefishCuller has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _turntechGodhead has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _twinArmageddons has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _tentacleTherapist has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

– – _centaursTesticle has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

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– – _terminallyCapricious has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

_AA: did i miss any0ne_

_CG: UH YEAH YOU DID. WHERE THE FUCK IS TEREZI?_

_AA: my mistake_

– – _gallowsCalibrator has joined the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

_GC: H3Y, K4RK4T, WH4TS 4 GUY L1K3 YOU DO1NG 1N 4 PL4C3 L1K3 TH1S?_

_CG: PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF._

_TG: no wait_

_TG: dont control yourself_

_CG: DON'T GIVE HER IDEAS._

_TG: this is going to be great_

_GC: 1 L1K3 D4V3'S 1D34._

_TA: can you not. were 2uppo2ed two be dii2cu22iing 2omethiing_

_TA: im a22umiing_

_AA: quite right. eridan just t0ld me that he received the g0-ahead fr0m his parents t0 have a party at their h0use_

_CA: yeah on friday night an my brothers 23 so he can buy booze just lemme knoww wwhat you wwant_

_CC: We just need anot)(er diver_

_CC: I mean driver, sorry_

_CC: PUNS! 38D_

_CC: We need anot)(er driver because Eridan and I can only fit four ot)(er people eac)( in our cars and t)(ere's fourteen people coming. Equius, Gamzee, you )(ave ve)(icles, correct?_

_CT: D -- > Yes._

_TC: YeAh BuT i DoN't ReAlLy FeEl LiKe GoInG. i GoT sOmE hElLs Of MoThErFuCkInG sTuDyInG tO dO._

_CG: WHEN THE FUCK DO YOU ACTUALLY STUDY?_

_TC: I'm In ThE lIbRaRy AlMoSt EvErY nIgHt. JuSt AsK sOlLuX. hE's SeEn Me In ThErE pLeNtY oF tImEs, MoThErFuCkEr._

_TA: ii can confiirm that not that ii know iif he2 actually studyiing but ii do 2ee hiim there_

_AA: 0kay well if gamzee and tavr0s arent c0ming then that brings 0ur t0tal d0wn t0 twelve but we still need s0me0ne else t0 drive if eridan and feferi can 0nly take ten pe0ple between them_

_AT: wAIT,,,_

_AT: wHO SAID i'M NOT GOING?_

_AA: i_

_AA: are y0u?_

_AT: wELL YEAH, i WANT TO GO,_

_AT: dID YOU ASSUME THAT,_

_AT: jUST BECAUSE gAMZ WASN'T GOING,_

_AT: tHAT i WOULDN'T WANT TO GO?_

_GC: (d4mn, c4ll3d out!)_

_AT: i DON'T NEED HIM TO HOLD MY HAND ALL THE TIME,_

_AT: oR SOMETHING,_

_TC: :o)_

_AC: :33 <*ac appurroves of this*_

_CT: D _\-- >_ I am willing to volunteer my car as transportation. And I do not often partake of soporific f100ids, but when I do_

_AC: :33 <*ac winces at impending joke*_

_CT: D _\-- >_ I prefer Dos Equis._

_TG: stay thirsty, my friends_

_AC: :33 <*ac paws at dave and growls, "Don't encourage him!"*_

_TG: ill drink basically anything but i like jaeger. i can give you a twenty for a handle tomorrow_

_CA: davve wwants jaeger, eq wwants dos equis, wwhat about the rest a you_

_CA: fef i already knoww wwhat you wwant_

_CA: oh just so you knoww my parents made me promise that thered be no drinkin an drivvin so once you start drinkin youre stuck_

_GA: I Will Drink Anything If It Has Vodka In It._

_EB: i don't drink much so i'll be happy with beer or whatever_

_TT: Wine. My only stipulation is that it's red wine. Aside from that, my apathy knows no limits._

_AA: tequila. i als0 d0nt have a preference_

_AT: i'LL GO HALFSIES WITH YOUR TEQUILA,_

_AT: iF YOU DON'T MIND, THAT IS,,,_

_AA: thats fine with me_

_CA: kar, ter, nep, sol, wwhat do you guys wwant_

_CG: I DON'T DRINK. BAD JUJU._

_GC: DO YOU R34LLY W4NT TO S33 TH3 BL1ND G1RL F4LL OV3R DRUNK? 1TLL B3 3MB4RR4SSING FOR 3V3RYON3._

_AC: :33 <*ac pawnders for a moment and says, "I will purrobably bring my own from home, if that's okay?" and nudges Eridan expectantly.*_

_CA: uh_

_CA: sure_

_CA: okay_

_CA: sol wwhat about you_

_TA: mead_

_CA: an wwhere the fuck am i supposed to get mead?_

_CA: 11th century scandinavvia?_

_TA: they 2ell iit at regular liiquor 2tore2 a22wagon do your re2earch_

_GC: 1 LOV3 TH3 SOUND OF H4T3FL1RT1NG 1N TH3 3V3N1NG_

– – _twinArmageddons has left the group vriskansAnonymous– –_

_CA: wwell then_

_CA: uh_

_CA: wwell i got evveryones orders so ill go ahead an talk to my brother about gettin it. i can spot you until the wweekend if anyones strapped for cash_

_CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD, ERIDAN, WE GET IT, YOU'RE RICH._

– – _caligulasAquarium has left the group vriskansAnonymous – –_

_AA: that may have been a tad uncalled-f0r, karkat. but i believe we were all finished here unless s0me0ne has s0mething t0 add?_

_GA: I Think We're All Taken Care Of._

_AA: g0ing 0nce_

_AA: g0ing twice_

_AA: beans and rice_

_AA: fuck it_

– – _apocalypseArisen has closed the group vriskansAnonymous – –_

* * *

Sollux wanted to punch his computer screen in the face. Better yet, he wanted to punch _Eridan_ in the face. He didn't know how he could hate and crush on someone so intensely at the same time, but he managed it. Maybe it was _because_ he liked Eridan so much that the guy drove him crazy. That, and he was an aggravating little fuck.

And then with Terezi's comment on top of everything, he hadn't been able to stand that group for another minute.

– – _apocalypseArisen began pestering twinArmageddons– –_

_AA: are y0u d0ing 0kay_

_AA: i mean terezis c0mment was unnecessary but_

_AA: karkat said s0mething 0bn0xi0us t0 eridan after y0u left_

_TA: good he2 a douchey liittle twat_

_AA: n0w im c0nfused_

_AA: i th0ught y0u had a massive crush 0n the guy_

_TA: ii do_

_TA: iit2 ju2t_

_TA: compliicated_

_AA: explain?_

_TA: he2 iinfuriiatiing and aggravatiing and he driive2 me completely nut2 2ometiime2 and ii know hell never return my feeliing2 2o that ju2t make2 iit wor2e becau2e 2omehow ii do liike hiim a lot_

_TA: ii hate hiim and ii liike hiim and two be hone2t iit 2uck2_

_TA: wwhat diid kk 2ay_

_AA: um_

_TA: *what_

_TA: fuck_

_TA: fuck my entiire liife_

_TA: fuck liiterally everythiing_

_TA: ju2t_

_TA: FUCK_

_AA: 0kay_

_TA: what diid kk 2ay two hiim_

_AA: well_

_TA: you knowwhat_

_TA: *know what_

_AA: what_

_TA: ii liiterally DO NOT CARE anymore_

_TA: ii 2hould ju2t be focu2iing on not thiinkiing about hiim anymore_

_TA: 2o maybe ii can put thii2 2tupiid cru2h behiind me_

_TA: 2tartiing now_

_AA: i see_

_TA: but liike ii dont want two come off a2 rude or 2omethiing do you thiink ii 2hould stiill go twwo ed2 party_

_TA: *TWO WHAT THE FUCK_

_AA: l00k maybe i sh0uld let y0u g0. y0u seem t0 be busy_

_TA: bu2y? wiith what?_

_AA: expl0ring. i hear egypt is nice this time 0f year_

_TA: egypt?_

_AA: well yes im assuming thats where y0ure at since y0u seem t0 be getting s0 well acquainted with a particular egyptian river_

_TA: what_

_TA: OH HA-HA-HA, VERY FUCKIING FUNNY_

_AA: y0ur excessive caps c0ncern me_

_AA: the last time y0u displayed this trait y0u were 0n a very seri0us manic high_

_AA: maybe y0u sh0uld see ab0ut getting y0ur d0sage adjusted_

_AA: as 0ne friend t0 an0ther_

_TA: um_

_TA: about that_

_TA: iim actually off my med2_

_AA: i_

_AA: f0r h0w l0ng?_

_TA: 2iince the 2ummer_

_AA: why didnt y0u tell me?_

_TA: ii_

_TA: ii wanted two 2ee iif ii could hack iit wiithout people knowiing_

_TA: liike when you go on mood alteriing med2 people treat you diifferent_

_TA: and iit2 the 2ame when you go off them_

_TA: ii ju2t diidnt want anyone two treat me diifferently than they do now_

_AA: i understand s0llux i really d0 but_

_AA: c0me 0n, its me_

_AA: y0u really th0ught i w0uld treat y0u differently?_

_TA: hell my own brother diid_

_TA: kk wa2 my be2t friiend when ii went on them iin the fiir2t place and he acted 2o weiird around me for a long tiime after_

_TA: liike ii was doped up or would 2nap at any 2econd_

_TA: he 2tiill acted liike my friiend but everythiing changed_

_TA: ii diidnt want that two happen wiith u2_

_AA: i think i see y0ur p0int_

_AA: just kn0w that i w0uldnt treat y0u any differently. y0ure my best friend and n0 matter what happens, n0thing will change that_

_TA: thank2_

_TA: ii wonder iif ed realiize2 how jacked up hii2 2uppo2ed riival ii2_

_AA: i th0ught y0u were trying n0t t0 think ab0ut him anym0re_

_TA: FUCK_

_TA: look ii 2hould probably ju2t go two 2leep iit2 gonna be a long week_

_AA: call me if y0u need t0 vent 0r anything. im here f0r y0u. i kn0w its t0ugh but i l0ve y0u and i want t0 help y0u any way i can_

_TA: thank2_

_TA: and ii love you two okay?_

_AA: g00d night s0llux_

_TA: niight aa_

– – _twinArmageddons ceased pestering apocalypseArisen– –_

* * *

_What a fucking douche-wagon_ , Eridan thought angrily, glaring at the chat log from the group. He didn't know what Karkat's fucking problem was, but he would have probably punched him in the face if the kid had been there. He white-knuckled the armrests of his computer chair, gulping down deep breaths to calm himself down before getting up and heading out to where Cronus was sitting in the living room, his feet kicked up on the coffee table and a lit joint smoking between his first two fingers.

"Hey, bro," he said, kicking at Cronus's feet, "I need a favor."

"What kinda favor are we talkin'?" Cronus drawled.

"Mom an' Dad said I could throw a party at their place Friday an' we—"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up," his brother said, holding up his free hand. "I already dig where this is goin'. You need me to buy booze."

"Basically, yeah."

"No fuckin' way."

Eridan was floored for a second. He'd never actually expected that Cronus would say _no_. "But— _why_?"

"'Cause you're not a' legal age yet, that's why. An' lemme guess—none a' your friends are, either."

"Eq will be legal... in like December," he added quietly. "But Mom an' Dad already said alcohol was fine! We just aren't allowed to drink an' drive, which, hello, I already figured!"

"That's fine an' fuckin' dandy but they probably assumed at least one a' your friends would be legal an' providin' the alcohol. I sure as shit ain't doin' it."

Eridan eyed his brother, trying to figure out how best to attack this problem. Bribery, his usual tactic, wouldn't work this time—his brother was just as well-off as him, and neither of them were hurting for cash. As far as he knew, Cronus had everything materially he wanted—he hadn't seen his brother drooling over some new gadget or something. There had to be something he had that Cronus wanted, though. And then an idea came to him. "Look, if you don't, I'll have to cancel the party an' then I'll be home all weekend."

Cronus narrowed his eyes slightly and tilted his head to the side. "Where are you goin' with this?"

"Well," he said with exaggerated nonchalance, "I figure if you have a girlfriend, you probably wanna spend the weekend with her without your lame little brother hangin' around an' listening."

The elder Ampora leaned his head back and stared at Eridan for a few moments before smirking. "I guess we _are_ related." The fact that the two of them had nearly identical faces apparently wasn't enough proof for Cronus, but _this_ was. "Alright, little man. I'll buy your booze. But I got a few conditions a' my own."

Eridan's head fell back and he groaned to the ceiling. "What _now_?"

Cronus held up one finger. "First, no one fucks in my bed. Absolutely no one. That is strictly my domain." He put up a second finger. "Second, no one fucks in Mom an' Dad's room."

"They told me to lock their room an' the study anyway."

"Good. Third, no drunken hookups at all. That's just askin' for trouble, an' you don't want that. Plus, it'll get _me_ in trouble, too, an' I _definitely_ don't want that."

"Got it. Anythin' else?"

"Yeah, actually."

Eridan groaned again.

"Fourth, if any bad shit _does_ happen at this party an' alcohol is involved, I will deny supplyin' it."

"Fine."

"An' fifth, I'm assumin' this doll you like is gonna be there."

Eridan nodded, wondering why his mind jumped to Sol before remembering Fef.

"If you finish this weekend without tellin' her you like her, I will kick your ass."

He ground his teeth and nodded once, a curt shake of his head. "Fine. Done."

Cronus's smirk widened. "Alright, little monster. Just give me cash an' a list an' I'll have it all for you by the time you leave on Friday."

Eridan fished a hundred and fifty dollars out of his wallet and went back to his room to make a list. The booze would be procured, and one way or the other, by Monday morning, Fef would know he liked her.


	31. Intermission III/Act 31

_**INTERMISSION III** _

"Jaspers, knock it off," Rose said good-naturedly, gently pushing her cat out of her lap and setting her computer aside. "Go pester Mom or Roxy."

Jaspers meowed in disdain for her suggestion, jumped back up on Rose's bed, and nestled in next to Kanaya, who giggled and began petting him. A moment later, he was purring loudly and seeming to shoot Rose a glare that said, _See? Someone likes giving me attention._

"Passive-aggressive cat," Rose muttered. At first, she hadn't really been thrilled with the idea of Kanaya coming to her house, meeting her mother and sister, somehow assimilating into her family. All things considered, Jaspers was the most normal member of the Lalonde household. Rose herself was a distant second, with both Roxy and their mother tied for an even more distant third. But somehow, Kanaya found them all interesting, and didn't seemed very perturbed by Ms. Lalonde's daytime drinking, nor Roxy's naturally-slurred speech (a trait that was only exacerbated by the heavy drinking _she_ did, but after five p.m.). Rose thought it was a wonder Kanaya didn't ask her about _her_ drinking.

Such as it was, it wasn't much. Rose knew rampant alcoholism ran in her family (well, more like went from zero to sixty in under three seconds), but somehow the addictive trait was absent from her personality. She didn't drink often, and when she did, it wasn't a lot—nowhere near what her mother and sister put away, anyway. Rose rather wondered how either she or Roxy managed to develop properly while swimming in an amniotic sac full of gin.

Still, she knew this party suggestion of Eridan and Aradia's would have copious amounts of booze, and she tried not to think of how many people's hair she'd have to hold back while they puked into one of Ampora's designer toilets.

Rose sighed and flopped back against her pillows. The Lalondes weren't exactly broke, but they were certainly nowhere near as rich as the Amporas. She didn't envy him or anything—she had enough money, and jealousy wouldn't make her any wealthier even if she wanted it. She had what she needed: a roof over her head, healthy food for every meal (save whatever she bought at school for lunch), a comfortable bed, a fairly impressive wardrobe, and a rather nice laptop with the speediest internet connection money could buy.

After a few moments, Kanaya looked up, still running her fingers over Jaspers's fur. "Your mother seems..."

"Plastered, I believe is the word you're looking for."

"I meant, aside from the obvious," the other girl said with a small smile. "She actually seems rather pleasant."

Rose stifled her laughter by pressing her pillow over her face. Once she'd regained her composure, she lifted the pillow and ask, "I fail to understand how you came to this conclusion. For the first eighteen years of my life, we were viciously ensnared in a mutual game of mother-daughter one-upmanship."

"How so?"

Rose sighed. "Well, the most vivid example I can remember is back when I was thirteen. We had these letter magnets on the fridge, and I thought it was clever to arrange them to spell out _shrew_ , but we didn't have any Ws, only Vs, so I put two Vs together. I mean, she knew it was intended for her and it was from me—it couldn't have been from Roxy since she can barely spell even when she's sober, and it wouldn't be to her since she'd never been involved in our petty games. So Mom went out and bought a pack of twelve fridge magnets, all Ws, and attached them to the fridge. I took one out and put twelve cents into the plastic wrap, which I had calculated to be the approximate value of the magnet. I found out later its value was closer to twenty cents, but twelve was all I had on me at the time. Then I wrote her a note thanking her for the purchase of the pack of W magnets and attached it with _another_ magnet, but it was close to the bottom of the fridge so the bottom trailed on the floor. When I came back later, there was a pillow underneath the letter, cushioning it from the floor, so I took it and stitched a poem about motherly goodness onto it and replaced it."

By this time, Kanaya was fighting giggles. "You actually did this?"

"It was during summer vacation. I had a lot of free time on my hands."

"It doesn't sound so bad. It actually seems like an intriguing method of familial bonding."

Rose just laughed and shook her head. "I don't know—maybe. That could have been what began the whole thing, but I never really thought about it. It just seemed like a fact of life for the longest time. Roxy never had to put up with it, but..." She shrugged. "I certainly don't hate my mother or anything."

"Does she... know about me?" Kanaya asked, staring down at the bedspread determinedly and continuing to stroke Jaspers's fur while the cat in question nearly purred his head off.

Rose immediately understood what she was asking. "As a rule, I don't tell her about most of the people in my life. Even when she _is_ around to tell."

"I see."

"Why? Would you like me to tell her?"

Kanaya chewed on her lip for a moment. "I suppose I would just like to know what kind of relationship we have." She peeked up at Rose from under her bangs, wondering how the other girl would respond. It wasn't too long ago that Rose had told her she was straight, but last weekend (and, indeed, the last few days), she'd acted anything but. It certainly didn't _feel_ like she saw this as just a fling, but maybe she was completely misreading the situation.

"I like you a lot. I hope you know that by now."

"I thought so."

"And I'm not fully ready right now to call us girlfriends, but I can acknowledge right now that I'm not straight and probably sometime soon I'll want to consider you my girlfriend."

The way Kanaya's smile lit up her face made Rose that much more certain that she did like her—a whole heck of a lot.

_**END INTERMISSION III.** _

* * *

_**ACT 31** _

– – _cuttlefishCuller began pestering caligulasAquarium– –_

_CC: So. )(ow are you, fis)(?_

_CA: just fine_

_CC: Are you sure? Karkat's comment reelly seemed to bot)(er you._

_CA: yeah im fine_

_CC: Okay, good._

_CA: do i come off as some kind a asshole or somefin_

_CC: W)(at do you mean?_

_CA: like_

_CA: i dont knoww_

_CA: kar acted like a jackass out a nowwhere_

_CA: an sol practically bit my head off ovver a stupid question_

_CA: i used to think maybe people just didnt get me but noww im thinkin_

_CA: maybe i just havve a abrasivve personality or somefin_

_CA: you think maybe i really wwas rude to sol that day he doused me wwiith soda_

_CA: *wwith_

_CC: I've told you before. Yes, w)(at you said to )(im was really rude. Sometimes, being your best friend is )(ard work._

_CC: Frankly, it can get ex)(austing sometimes._

_CC: But I know you. You say t)(ings wit)(out t)(inking, not out of any kind of malicious intent._

_CC: I don't t)(ink you're a rude person, but you do come off t)(at way sometimes. Understand?_

_CA: yeah i do thanks_

_CC: But I also t)(oug)(t your offer was a nice one. Karkat is probably just )(aving a bad day._

_CA: i hope thats his excuse_

_CA: or that he at least apologizes or somefin cause that shit really did offend me_

_CC: I sea. Did you ever apologize to Sol for w)(at you said to )(im?_

_CA: no but he dumped his soda on me remember?_

_CA: that made us evven_

_CA: an then i pranked him wwiith the honey_

_CA: *wwith FUCK_

_CA: an then he wwrapped my car in plastic so wwere evven again_

_CA: i think he might a started another prank on me but i havvent seen any sign a it in the last feww days_

_CC: But you told )(im to try again, didn't you?_

_CA: yeah i did_

_CC: Look, I t)(ink maybe if you tell )(im you're sorry, you just mig)(t gain a friend._

_CA: i_

_CA: maybe_

_CA: its complicated_

_CC: W)(at is?_

_CA: just_

_CA: evverythiing_

_CA: FUCK *evverything_

_CA: actually you know what just fuck evverything_

_CA: i already told cro wwhat to get us an he says hell havve it all by the time wwe leavve on friday so thats what counts right noww_

_CA: im goin to bed_

_CC: Take it easy, Eridan. It's not t)(at big of a deal._

_CA: im not evven sure he wwants to go okay_

_CC: W)(o? W)(at? Are you glubbing about Cronus?_

_CA: no sorry i wwas glubbin about sol_

_CA: like im not evven convvinced he really wwants to come to this party_

_CC: I t)(oug)(t you said you were going to bed._

_CA: i am_

_CA: sorry_

_CA: i just got distracted thats all_

_CA: gniight_

_CA: *gnight_

_CA: you knoww wwhat fuck absolutely evverything_

_CC: )(e)(e)(e take it easy, Eridan! Don't stress! Everyone )(as days filled wit)( typos!_

_CA: wwhatevver_

– – _caligulasAquarium has ceased pestering cuttlefishCuller– –_

Eridan glared at his computer screen for a few moments, silently seething with rage. It was bad enough he was actually starting to give a shit about Sol's feelings—now he'd subconsciously started to adopt his stupid typing quirk. People were going to start thinking he was an even bigger asshat than they probably thought he was right now. That was the _last_ thing he needed.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose before simply taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. His entire room faded to a hazy blur around him and he wondered again if he should invest in contact lenses. But no, his whole face looked strange without his glasses, and anyway, he might get lazy and just leave in his contacts at night. He had been told that was bad, but Cronus went through periods where he would wear the same pair of contacts nonstop for three or four months.

He yawned, replaced his glasses, and eyed his bed longingly, but he had to shower first and get all the product out of his hair. For once, all he wanted to do was climb into bed, but he shuddered internally at the thought and reluctantly extracted himself from his chair and set about gathering all his shower essentials.

After easily the shortest shower he'd taken in months, he gratefully snuggled under his covers, cast one look at his bubbling, humming fish tank, and closed his eyes.

* * *

Hours later, Sollux was still wide-awake, staring at the ceiling when he wasn't on his side or his stomach. He was reluctant to take another sleeping pill at this point—if it hit him, it would strike hard and he might not wake up until ten the next morning, well past the time he could make it to his first class of the day. Then again, he might avoid running into Eridan completely, and that prospect was enough to make him consider it for a moment. But he couldn't, and he knew it. He had his own personal reputation to maintain—he might have skipped classes, but he never skipped a full day of school, and if he got up too late for his first class, the temptation to miss all of them would be too great.

He rolled onto his left side and stared at the wall. He gave it a few minutes before rolling to his other side. _Nope._ He couldn't get comfortable, and he couldn't figure out why. Normally two pills was enough to put him out like a match, but tonight...

 _I could call AA_ , he thought to himself, but frowned at his phone when he saw what time it was. She was probably fast asleep by now, and he didn't want to bother her. She had enough on her plate without his problems, and he certainly hadn't appreciated being woken up in the middle of the night by Karkat—had that only been two weeks ago? It seemed like a lifetime, those last few minutes before the first time he saw Eridan Ampora.

He gave up and climbed out of bed. It was no use. He did know why he couldn't sleep. His brain was racing a hundred miles an hour, and for whatever reason, he couldn't get Eridan out of his head. Even the first time he'd seen him, he couldn't help appreciating the sharp angles of his face, the subtle regality of his bearing, how deep his gaze had cut into him. He really did remind Sollux of a prince, and he felt even more lame for thinking it. He'd been attracted to Eridan from the moment he saw him, but his personality the next time they'd met had quickly fucked that all up. But that icy, douchey mask of hipster detachment had slipped somehow, allowing Sollux to glimpse what was underneath, and he hated himself for realizing again just how attracted to Eridan he was. The stupid, irrational part of him wanted to hug Eridan to his chest and sleep next to him—not even necessarily have sex with him, just fall asleep with both of them in the same bed—but he knew it was stupid. Before he'd made that comment at Rubio's, Sollux thought there might have been a chance, but after, well... Eridan was never going to return his feelings, and he'd just have to accept that and try to forget about it.

Hell, he'd _already_ tried, but his mind kept wheeling back to that hipster douche with a vengeance. He went to the window and rested his forehead against it with a thunk. In the glass, he could see his mismatched eyes reflected back at him, and he glared at them, remembering that stunned look on Eridan's face when he'd first seen them. Eridan probably thought he was a freak—he had a lisp and two different-colored eyes and he was prone to mood swings (although he tried his hardest to keep those in check). No wonder the guy was happy keeping him at arm's length.

But at the same time, he'd seemed genuinely happy to have Sollux's company when Vriska had harassed him and left. He seemed to appreciate whatever kind of comfort he could give him.

Sollux sighed. _Give it up. If he even likes you at all, it's just as a friend. This is what you get for having a crush on a straight guy. Nothing but trouble._ He turned back to his bed, rubbed his temples, and crawled back under his covers. This time, he resolved to keep his eyes firmly closed until he fell asleep.

Even then, it was almost another hour before sleep stole over him.


	32. Act 32

Four-thirty the next morning saw Eridan rewatching _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_ for the eightieth time. He'd only been able to sleep a few hours before he woke up again, and no amount of tossing, turning, or staring at his empty fish tank could lull him back to sleep, so he put _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ into his desktop computer and watched it with his headphones on so as not to wake Cronus. He was nothing if not a respectful brother.

As soon as _Chamber of Secrets_ finished around three-fifteen, he slunk to the kitchen, made himself some coffee, and slunk back to his bedroom to queue up _Prisoner of Azkaban_. By four-thirty, he'd downed four cups of coffee and his hands were trembling, but there was no way in Hell he was going back to sleep at this point. He was too jittery to keep watching the movie (even though it was his favorite of the bunch), but he didn't know what he wanted to do. He contemplated drawing, but his hand was shaking too badly, and he didn't feel like smearing his hand in pencil this early in the morning anyway. He could have tried editing some photos, but the only ones he felt like looking at were of—no, he definitely wasn't going there right now. It was too early to even think about any of that shit.

Next, he thought about actually taking some pictures—leaning out the window and snapping some photos of the pre-dawn city; with this lighting, it would make for some interesting exposures—but it seemed like too much effort right now to dig out his camera and open his window and perch on the ledge.

He opened up Pesterchum and eyed all of his contacts. All of them were either idle or offline—or invisible, but it looked the same as offline, so it didn't matter. He sighed and hovered over cuttlefishCuller. _Offline for 4 hours, 13 minutes._ Of course. It _was_ before even the sun woke up—he didn't know why he expected anyone but him to be awake.

crypticAngelfish came online, and Eridan rolled his eyes. Every time he saw Cronus's handle, he wanted to gag. The elder Ampora was many things, but "angelfish" wasn't one of them.

He went back to the kitchen to make himself a proper breakfast. Maybe having some food in his stomach would make the jitters subside.

He made himself a vegetarian breakfast sandwich with egg, cheese, and tofu bacon and went back to his bedroom before the smell attracted his brother. First thing in the morning, Cronus behaved more like a wild animal than a person, and more than once, Eridan had found himself pinned to a wall with a hot plate of food in his hand and Cronus eyeing it hungrily. At that point, Eridan usually had two options: give Cronus his food, or make him another plate.

He really wanted to avoid something like that this morning.

 _Too late._ Cronus, up for whatever reason far earlier than normal (just like Eridan himself—maybe it was a weird night for Amporas in general), emerged from his bedroom, yawning and scratching his stomach. "Hey, Er," he said, and then his sharp nose twitched and he sniffed, and suddenly he looked much more awake.

"Mine!" Eridan yelled, charging into his own room. Before Cronus could take two steps, Eridan had slammed the door closed and locked it. He called through the door, "If you're so hungry, make your own damn food like a normal person!"

"But I can't cook, daddy-o!" Cronus whined.

"Throw somethin' in the microwave, then! I'm not lettin' you abscond with my food again!"

"Aw, come on! I'm doin' you this huge, highly illegal favor—"

Eridan groaned behind his closed bedroom door and stuffed a bite of his sandwich into his mouth. Cronus _did_ have a point, and Eridan didn't want to play the whole "if I can't have this party I'll be here listening to you and your girlfriend fucking" card because by now, Cronus was desperate enough to not care who was listening in. Besides, departing for the weekend was a small return for the favor. "Fine," he sighed after he'd finished chewing. "Gimme like five minutes to eat my own fuckin' food."

"Thanks, Er, you're the best!"

"Then why don't you ever fuckin' act like it?"

"I'm your big brother. I'm supposed to give you shit."

Eridan sighed and flopped down into his computer chair, still munching on his sandwich. He glanced up at his screen and noted with some surprise that, at four-forty-eight, twinArmageddons had come online. He ignored the stupid, uninvited surge of happiness at that (it wasn't like Fef was online—it was just Sol; what the Hell was wrong with him?) and he hovered his mouse over the "pester" option, but it wouldn't do any good. Sol had blocked him on Monday morning and, as far as Eridan knew, hadn't unblocked him since. He stared at the screen, chewing slowly, wondering when— _if—_ Feferi would come online this morning.

It took longer than five minutes for him to eat his sandwich but Cronus didn't seem to notice the delay when Eridan finally emerged. He was still in his pajamas—a black A-line shirt and soft purple sweatpants—but he wasn't going to change his clothes until after his shower. He threw together the quickest sandwich he could and presented it wordlessly to Cronus, who grinned and immediately dug into it, making sounds that would have been better suited to the bedroom and that Eridan _really_ didn't want to hear from his own brother, so as soon as Cronus was completely engrossed in his food, he went to shower.

He made a second pot of coffee, having successfully killed the first one, and filled his Thermos before he left for school. Maybe it was a mistake to drink so much coffee but he knew by the time two o'clock rolled around, he'd be grateful he did—and would probably still be craving another caffeine pick-me-up. Maybe even more so than usual.

* * *

"You look exhausted," Aradia commented, peering at Sollux over her book. She was over halfway through _A Storm of Swords_ by now.

"Yeah. I am." Sollux sank down into his chair and lifted a bottle of Mountain Dew Code Red to his lips. He'd been so tired this morning that he'd skipped his usual tea drowned in honey for something with a ton more caffeine. He didn't know how he was going to make it through today like this. _I should just go home and sleep._

"Didn't sleep?"

Sollux shook his head. "Not for hours. And I woke up really early today, too."

"How much sleep did you get?"

"Two, three hours. Tops."

"Aw, I'm sorry." Aradia marked her place and closed her book. She glanced over Sollux's shoulder before leaning in. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Eridan stuff?"

Sollux groaned and fisted his hair in frustration before dropping his hands back to the table. "Yeah. Something like that."

"I know, it's tough," she said soothingly, putting her hand over Sollux's. "I know you're trying not to think about him, but crushes have a way of getting into your head and not getting out, huh?"

"That's putting it mildly."

"It takes awhile for things like this to run their course, okay? You can't expect to get over him in a night. You just barely realized that you liked him like two, three days ago. It'll happen. Just give it time."

Sollux sighed, running his free hand through his hair again. He didn't know how to tell her that he'd been unable to sleep even _after_ two sleeping pills. He didn't even know how to tell her that he was on sleeping pills in the first place. He felt like confessing it would make it too real, that his whole life was a mess. He couldn't even fall asleep without help.

Friday night promised to be so much fun. He'd have to leave his pills at home if he was going to drink, though. Even he knew not to mix alcohol and sleep aids.

Added to the mix were his stupid feelings for Eridan in the first place, the reason he couldn't fall asleep the night before. And then waking up just after four-thirty and groaning, he rolled over and silently pleaded for two or three more hours of sleep, but his body refused to cooperate, and ten minutes later he'd logged onto Pesterchum and stared at his contact list.

caligulasAquarium was online. _Why is ED awake so early?_ He hovered over his status bar and blinked when he saw that Eridan had been online for only about twenty minutes. _What the Hell is he doing?_ He went back and forth in his head, arguing with himself about whether or not to message Eridan—it would be stupid, Eridan wouldn't want to talk to him, but maybe he'd be nicer first thing in the morning, but not if his prank last week was anything to go by, but it could be different this time, you never knew; but Eridan had been a raging asshat the night before, so why should he expect things to be any different this morning? He finally sighed and unblocked Eridan but didn't bother messaging him. He left Pesterchum opened while he went to make breakfast, just in case Eridan decided to message him. He left that window open on the off chance Eridan would take it and try to talk to him.

When he got back to his desk with his toast in hand though, there was no new message from anyone, let alone Ampora. He tried not to let himself feel disappointed, but he munched his toast despondently. Expecting anything to change was a futile hope.

* * *

Sollux looked exhausted this morning—even through the bicolored glasses, Eridan could tell his eyes were tired. He tried to look away, but he found himself staring as Sollux went to a vending machine near the door and bought a Mountain Dew Code Red. He cracked it open and took a long drink, making a face as he headed to a table—presumably, Eridan saw, the one Aradia was sitting at. For a short time, the two of them sat their in silence, Sollux drinking his soda and Aradia reading her book, until she peered over the top of it and said something Eridan couldn't quite make out.

Sollux slouched lower in his seat and took another swig of his drink. Aradia said something else and Sol shook his head. She said something else, he answered, and she answered back before closing her book.

Then Ara put her hand on his, and when Sol didn't immediately pull his hand away, Eridan felt his face getting hot. She was dating Equius—what the Hell was she doing? And Sol was just _letting_ her! Didn't he care?

They continued talking for a few moments longer, and Aradia squeezed his hand, but it felt as if a massive hand was squeezing his chest. He hated the feeling almost as much as he hated realizing that Sol was having a really tough morning from the look of it and that his first instinct was to go to him and try to offer him some comfort but God damn it, Aradia was still there, still holding his hand and Eridan tried not to vomit. It was probably a mix of all the coffee (he'd had eight cups, after all), the tofu bacon, and seeing _this_ , but _this_ felt like the biggest cause of all.

He wasn't _jealous_ of her or anything. He just wanted to be there to comfort Sol, although saying what, he had no idea. He didn't even know _why_ Sol was having a tough time of it this morning, but if his early appearance on Pesterchum and the bottle of soda next to him was anything to go by, he probably hadn't slept much, either.

"Hey, fish, where's your head?" Fef asked beside him, startling him out of his reverie.

"Uh. Nothin'. Nowhere. I'm fine."

"Oh-kay. You sure? You looked like you were ready to snap someone's neck."

"Yeah—no—no, I'm fine."

She didn't look entirely convinced. "Alright, well, I have to get to class, but if you want to _glub_ at me, just text me, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

She stood up, ruffled his hair (not that it did much—with the amount of product in his hair today, it could withstand a tornado), and headed off to her class. Eridan half-watched her go, his attention more focused on Sol and Ara's table and the fact that she'd _finally_ removed her hand from his and had gone back to her book.

Maybe Fef was right. Maybe he _should_ apologize to Sol. For everything.


	33. Act 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BIG THANKS TO YURITOM FOR THE AWESOME FANART! *screams and flies into the sun*

"Okay, little monster, here's the last of it." Cronus hefted a twenty-four-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon into the back of Eridan's Beemer while Eridan looked on in confusion.

"I didn't ask for this."

"No, I know," his brother said cheerfully. "It's a gift from me to you."

"Um. Why?"

"I thought that's what cool-kid hipsters drank—shitty beer."

Fef let out a giggle and quickly hid her face in her hands. Eridan closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Alright, that's it, leave now."

Still laughing at his own wit, Cronus turned and headed back toward the building. As soon as he was out of earshot, Eridan went back through the booze in the truck of his car. _My Redd's, Ara and Tav's 1800, Fef's Jim Beam, Eq's Dos Equis, Rose's wine, Kan's Skyy, Dave's Jager, John can drink the PBR, and Sol's mead._ He was a bit surprised his brother had actually managed to find it, but it didn't look too bad.

All at once, Nepeta bounded up and set a short bottle in the back before skipping away. Eridan picked it up, curious, and whirled around. " _Everclear_?" he asked incredulously, staring at her. He looked back at the bottle, and almost dropped it when he saw that it was the 190-proof stuff, not the 151-proof variety.

"Yep! It's my _furr_ vorite!"

He blinked at her. Somehow, he was both surprised and unsurprised. "Um. Alright. So, seating assignments. Do we have everyone?"

Everyone looked around and Eridan did a quick head count. Fef was standing next to him, Dave, John, Karkat, Terezi, Sol, Aradia, Equius, Nepeta, Tavros, Kan, Rose...

"Yeah, I think so," Fef said, looking around as well.

Nepeta would probably be going with Equius—they were best friends, after all. Aradia would probably ride with them too... and Sol would want to be with her, so that was four. Those were the only ones he could figure out with any degree of certainty. Karkat, John, and Dave could ride with him, and Tavros, too. Rose, Kan, and Terezi could go with Fef. That was everyone. He was about to make his suggestion when he saw Karkat, John, and Dave heading to Fef's car. He was right about Nepeta, Aradia, and Sol, though—they went to Equius's truck without missing a beat. _Oh. Okay, then._ He slammed his trunk closed and watched everyone hefting their backpacks and sleeping bags into the back of Equius's truck or into Fef's fuchsia Fiesta. That had been the plan—Eridan would take the booze just in case one of them got pulled over since it'd been his idea in the first place (not that he was planning on getting any of them pulled over anyway), and everyone's assorted other crap would go in the other two vehicles since Eridan didn't have any more room in his car. He still didn't have a real idea for how the evening would go aside from copious amounts of booze and probably pizza or other takeout. Aside from that... Well, the house had a sound system wired through it from top to bottom, so they could probably drop some sick beats (he cringed internally even as he thought the phrase "sick beats") or something... Food, booze, music, what more did a party need?

Someone was probably going to end up playing Battle Shots by night's end.

After Kan, Rose, and Tavros put their bags in Equius's truck (Terezi sneaking into Fef's car as well), the three of them went to Eridan's car and he unlocked the rest of the doors. To his utter lack of surprise, Rose and Kan went to the backseat to cuddle back there, leaving Tavros to sit in the front next to him. He was okay with that—he didn't mind Tavros, but the only time they'd ever hung out was the one night he spent at Karkat's place for their project—but he hoped Kan and Rose would keep it PG-13 back there. He didn't feel like cleaning out his backseat.

Fortunately, though, both of them seemed to have had a long day, because within ten minutes, they were passed out, Kanaya draped over Rose and the blonde with her arms around Kanaya like their lives depended on it, and by the time they hit the I-5 heading north, Tavros had fallen asleep as well.

With no one to talk to, Eridan put on Blaqk Audio on a low volume and sang along softly.

* * *

Aradia had tried to convince Nepeta that it was okay, she'd sit in the back, she didn't have to sit next to Equius, they weren't even officially dating anyway, but Nepeta was having none of it. She practically shoved Aradia into the front passenger's seat next to Equius, giggling in a strange way that almost sounded like a purr as she noted the light blush but pleased smile on his face. He also began to perspire slightly, which Sollux pretended not to notice, but Nepeta must have been used to it because she pulled a towel out of the pocket behind his seat and draped it over his shoulders.

Equius waited for Eridan and Feferi to lead the way out of the apartment complex parking lot. It was still light out even though the sun had been setting earlier and earlier in the day, but Sollux felt himself nodding off almost immediately. Aradia and Nepeta were chatting quite happily, though—about what, he couldn't really figure out. He wondered in that half-asleep way people wonder things when they're drifting off what was going on in Eridan's car, if Rose and Kanaya were behaving themselves, what on Earth he and Tavros were going to talk about. He'd contemplated, however briefly, actually riding with Eridan, but in the end, he'd chickened out. Eridan hadn't acted any differently around him—no overtly rude comments, but not unduly friendly, either. It was like Sollux had faded into the background for him. He wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but it would have been weird if, out of nowhere, he'd randomly hopped in Eridan's car, leaving his own best friend to ride with someone else.

The truth was, he would have been much more comfortable in his car if Aradia had been with him, but she'd wanted to ride in Equius's truck, so he followed her. It only made sense for them all to ride together.

The closer they got to Eridan's house, the more he regretted not backing out while he had the chance. He should have—there was no sense in torturing himself like this. Normally, he would have been all for spending time with someone he had a crush on to slowly realize they weren't as great as they seemed, but somehow, hanging out with Eridan had had the opposite effect already—Hell, they'd started off basically hating each other, and now he had a crush on the guy. If he spent much more time with him, he might end up doing something stupid, like actually telling Eridan he liked him. He wanted to avoid that.

"I still can't believe you brought Everclear," Aradia laughed. Somehow, that penetrated through his consciousness, and he opened up one eye.

Nepeta was sitting buckled up in the backseat next to him, but her knees were drawn up to her chest and she was grinning at Aradia. She'd tugged off her blue cat hat and set it on the seat next to her, leaving her bright blond hair hopelessly disheveled. "I know! Most people can't, either! I love it, though!"

"Really? What about you, Equius?"

He shook his head, smiling sheepishly. "No, I fear not. I find it a bit... strong for me."

Sollux chuckled internally.

"Too strong? For _you_? I thought you were _all about_ the strong things!"

"There is a difference between strong alcohol and rocket fuel," Equius said. Sollux laughed in his head—he'd initially thought Equius had no sense of humor, but he'd agreed to help him with his prank the week before, and he'd made that Dos Equis joke a few days ago, and now he was making another joke. Apparently he was just a master of deadpan.

Sollux wondered if Aradia had seen how bright blue his eyes were.

"Have you ever _smelled_ Everclear?" Nepeta asked. "It has the same stench as paint thinner!"

"So why do you like it so much?" Aradia asked.

Nepeta's grin turned mischievous. "Nothing fucks you up like Everclear!"

"Nepeta, your uncouth language—" Equius started warningly, but she cut him off.

"Shoosh!" She batted at his head before going on. "Except maybe absinthe, but I've never tried that!"

"You're not gonna make us do shots of Everclear, are you?" Aradia half-joked, but there was a real note of worry in her voice.

"Oh, no, of course not! I'm not going to make anyone do anything! But it's always an option if someone else wants to," she added with another grin.

"Oh, my God," Aradia laughed. "I'm not sure I could handle that. I mean, I like tequila and everything, but Everclear is on a whole different level."

"Then you don't have to!" Nepeta insisted. Sollux could see, even half-asleep, that she was all about not forcing people to do anything they didn't want to do. It was kind of nice, actually. "It'll only be _fur_ people who want some! Like me," she said with a grin.

Sollux half-smiled to himself and leaned to his right to rest his head against the door frame. He crossed his arms, closed his eye, and let himself drift back off.

* * *

Feferi's car was a _party_.

She'd cranked _I Am the Dance Commander: I Command You to Dance_ by Ke$ha as loud as it would go on her sound system and Dave had surprised everyone by knowing the lyrics to every song. Feferi and Terezi thought it was hysterical, John grinned and sang along with Dave when he knew the words (which wasn't too often, but he knew all the singles), and Karkat stared at all of them as if he thought they were crazy. This only made Dave sing even louder, and while he wasn't a bad singer, it was very interesting to hear him sing with a full-throated Southern accent. As John once said, "His accent is so thick, I can hear the Civil War in it!"

Once Dave grew bored with just singing, he added ridiculous gestures, causing Karkat to groan and slink down further in the backseat and Feferi to be overtaken with such a debilitating case of the giggles that she had to pull over for a minute.

 _you okay back there?_ Eridan's text came through as his brake lights flashed and he pulled over a hundred yards in front of him. Equius raced past them before pulling over himself.

_Yea)(, I'm fine, sorry! Just give me a minute and I'll be ready to keep going!_

Once she recovered, she waved at Eridan, who pulled back out onto the highway. Equius followed her once she got back onto the road as well.

"Sorry," Dave said with an apologetic smile. "I guess no more choreography."

"Not while I'm driving," Feferi confirmed, smiling.

"Hey," he added, turning to look at John—presumably, since he was still wearing his sunglasses and it was impossible to tell where his eyes were focused. "We should do a karaoke thing and sing and dance!"

"I swear to fucking Christ, Strider, if you perform, I will claw my own fucking eyes out!" Karkat snapped. Then he remembered that Terezi was sitting next to him and flinched. "Uh, I mean—"

"Great, then you can give them to me!" she joked without missing a beat.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

Terezi said something to him so quietly that Feferi couldn't hear it and kissed his cheek.

Meanwhile, John was completely ignoring the two of them and said excitedly to Dave, "That would be awesome! Are we just gonna do one song or more?"

"Probably one will be good for the moment. You're not that familiar with most of her songs anyway."

"Hey, I like _Animal_!"

"That's great, but that was just the springboard for her career. Still... 'Your Love is My Drug.' What do you think?"

John thought it was a great idea, so Feferi agreed to play it on repeat until he had the lyrics memorized. Once he had the words down, he and Dave started discussing dance moves, Feferi changed the song and hummed along, and Karkat and Terezi continued their conversation, oblivious to everything and everyone else.


	34. Act 34

"I... believe we're here," Equius said slowly, blinking up at the mammoth structure before them. He followed Feferi up the massive circular driveway, still trying to take in the sight of Eridan's house. Actually, it was more of a mansion, and Nepeta and Aradia had also been stunned into silence.

The blonde nudged Sollux with one Vans-clad foot to jostle him awake, and Sollux reluctantly opened his eyes. It had been a nice nap, one he wasn't quite willing to relinquish, but then he saw the house. "Holy shit," he murmured. He readjusted his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He'd known Eridan was rich, but this was on a completely unexpected level.

They climbed out of the Suburban while everyone else but Feferi and Eridan seemed a bit stunned with this turn of events.

"This is... impressive," Rose said slowly.

"This is nothin'," Eridan said. "You haven't seen Fef's place."

Heads turned in her direction, and Feferi shrugged. "My mom's a scientist. I can't help it!"

"Right. Um." Karkat leaned back against Feferi's car, looking from her Fiesta to Eridan's BMW. Suddenly a few more pieces clicked into place. _Wow._

Eridan fidgeted and popped the trunk of his car. "Alright, let's get this inside. Not much a' a party if we're outside all night."

This seemed to jar everyone out of their stunned staring, and Equius began slinging duffel bags and backpacks over his arms. The ones he couldn't grab, Aradia picked up as Feferi, Dave, and John picked up the rest of the bags from _her_ trunk, and everyone else started grabbed the alcohol from Eridan's car.

To Sollux, it felt like they'd been walking for ten minutes before they stopped, but it was probably closer to only a minute before they were following Eridan down a flight of stairs and into a cavernous basement filled floor to ceiling with _stuff_. There was a foosball table in one corner, a pool table in another, a huge flat-screen TV hanging on the far wall hooked up to a Blu-Ray player, a DVD player, and, to Sollux's surprise, a VHS player. The entire wall on either side of the TV was dominated by shelving filled with VHS tapes, DVDs, Blu-Ray discs, and CDs. In the back corner was a bar area (all the booze was locked up, and that was one key he didn't have access to) with a popcorn maker, and in front of the TV, arranged in a neat semicircle, was a gigantic, plush-looking sofa and two recliners.

"We're gonna have to push that crap back," Eridan said nonchalantly, setting the twenty-four-pack of PBR down on the bar and gesturing toward the couch and recliners.

Equius unceremoniously dumped the bags he was carrying on the floor and looked around. He seemed quite impressed.

"Was that everythin'?" Eridan watched as Sollux, Nepeta, Tavros, and Kanaya set down the alcohol in their hands. "Yeah, looks like everythin'. I'll be right back." With a surprising speed, he crossed the room and went back up the stairs as Feferi grinned at them all.

"Eridan's right—let's start moving this stuff. It'll give us a lot more room!"

 _Room for_ what _?_ Sollux wondered, but followed Equius and her to the middle of the room.

"Where did you want to move these?" Equius asked, standing in front of the sofa.

"Um..." Feferi looked around and pointed to the stretch of wall between the pool table and the foosball table. "Right there!"

Equius looked, nodded, and started pushing from the middle. Sollux and Kanaya went to either side and helped, pushing the ends, and the three of them managed to get the couch against the wall in short order. Karkat and Dave followed with the recliners, leaving them in front of the couch. Feferi looked satisfied and said, "Okay, what first?"

Suddenly, Eridan reappeared in the basement. "Looks good. Um. Is anyone hungry? We can order pizzas."

* * *

It was another forty minutes before they were able to pull up Figaro's Pizza's menu and yell out what they wanted—Eridan and Feferi would be splitting a medium vegan pizza with the works; Dave, John, and Karkat wanted a large meat-lovers' pizza; Sollux and Aradia ordered a medium ham-and-pineapple pizza (Kanaya made a face—she hated pineapple); Nepeta and Equius got a large cheese-only (he insisted that she would probably be eating most of it); Rose and Kanaya ordered a medium veggie pizza; and Terezi and Tavros were the only ones who wanted a plain cheese-and-pepperoni, so they agreed to split a medium. The person taking the order from Eridan seemed a bit stunned by the sheer volume of pizzas they'd be consuming and the total ended up being close to a hundred dollars, but the price didn't faze Eridan at all. Once they gave him an estimated delivery time of an hour from then, they asked for his name and address.

"Eridan Ampora," he said smoothly, rattling off his address.

"Ampora? Right, thirty minutes."

Eridan smirked and hung up.

"What just happened?" Terezi asked. "Didn't he just say—"

"I'm a regular customer. They know that the sooner they deliver, the better tip they get. An' on a' order like _that_ , it'll be a pretty big tip."

 _What a douche_ , Sollux thought reflexively, but his heart wasn't in it. It was actually pretty nice when rich assholes tipped well.

They decided to watch a movie while they waited and took it to a vote. Sollux figured it would be pretty hard to get thirteen different people to agree on one movie to watch, but after Aradia suggested _The Great Gatsby_ and Eridan confirmed that _of course_ they had _The Great Gatsby_ , the decision was almost unanimous. To celebrate, Nepeta unscrewed the cap on her bottle of Everclear and took a shot right from the bottle.

She burped and grinned.

"Are you sure that's Everclear? Looks like water to me," John said.

Nepeta smirked and held the open bottle under his nose. He recoiled sharply.

"Holy crap! That smells like floor cleaner!"

"It's ninety-five _purr_ cent alcohol," she said simply, shrugging. "Anyone wanna try?"

There was a stunned silence before Aradia sighed and raised her hand. "Okay, I will."

"Excellent!" Nepeta bounded behind the counter of the bar and located a shot glass before Eridan could even open his mouth to protest. She poured a half a shot into the glass. "I'll start you off with something small. It packs a wallop, though! Oh, and you'll want a chaser... Here!" She grabbed a can of Coke from the bar fridge, cracked it open, and passed it to her as well.

Aradia took the proffered glass and can and gave the Everclear a wary look. "Oh, God," she murmured and looked at the rest of her friends. "See you on the other side," she half-joked, and without further ado, knocked back the shot and a long swig of Coke in quick succession, well-aware that every eye was on her. She nearly drained the can before she set it down and belched loudly. "Oh, my God," she laughed, tears stinging her eyes. "Wow!"

"Puts hair on your chest!" Nepeta joked.

"Holy shit." Aradia exhaled sharply through her mouth. "I feel like I can breathe fire!"

"That would kill you," Equius pointed out, and Aradia gave him a condescending look.

"Fire cannot kill a dragon," she said with all the seriousness she could muster.

"Oh, God, she's trashed already," Sollux said with a grin.

"Shoosh! No, I'm not!" Aradia set the shot glass down and finished off the can. "Well, for smelling like paint thinner, it actually went down really smooth."

"Yep!" Nepeta agreed, hopping up onto the counter. "It's really off-putting at _fur_ st glance, but it goes down easy and fucks you up!"

"Nepeta," Equius said, but she waved her sleeve at him.

"Shoosh! That's why I love it!" She tilted the bottle in what was probably intended to be an inviting manner but came off more sinister than anything else. "Anyone else wanna breathe some fire?"

"I think I'll stick to wine," Rose said, digging out her own bottle and locating a wine glass.

Karkat, under Eridan's not-exactly careful supervision, got the movie set up while the rest of the alcohol was broken into. Once everyone had a drink in their hand (Aradia had deigned to take a shot of tequila before she decided she was all set for the moment), Karkat hit play and everyone settled on the floor and watched.

They had just gotten to the part where Nick Carroway was seeing Daisy and Tom's house for the first time when there was a knock on the door, followed by a ring.

"Hang on, keep watchin'," Eridan said, finishing off his bottle of Redd's and hurrying up the stairs. When he returned laden with pizzas, the movie paused just long enough for everyone to divvy up the pizzas and get situated, and then they resumed the movie.

Rose and Kanaya were snuggled up off to the side, carefully staying out everyone's view but somehow not. Equius seemed to have become a makeshift chair for both Aradia and Nepeta, the latter sitting full on his lap and the former leaning against his side. Sollux sat next to her with Terezi and Karkat stretched out next to him. John and Tavros lay on their stomachs in the front, looking up with their heads propped up, and Dave was in between Karkat and Feferi with Eridan on Feferi's other side. Sollux drank his mead and pretended he wasn't looking at Eridan but he couldn't help remembering that the last time they'd been in a darkened room was the night they'd met, even though they hadn't exchanged a word. He couldn't help sneaking glances at Eridan but felt like an idiot anyway. It was stupid for him to admire the way the light from the movie illuminated his profile, but he did it anyway, drinking more mead to appear nonchalant.

Aradia nudged him and whispered, "You're being extremely subtle."

Sollux quickly fixed his gaze to the plush white carpet, his cheeks heating up. _Busted._ At least it had been Aradia to catch him and not someone else.

* * *

Eridan wondered as he reached for another slice of pizza (the box of which had been placed between him and Fef) if he should put his arm around her. Something told him no, but a stronger part of him said he didn't even _want_ to. It was strange—a few weeks before, he would have probably jumped at this opportunity (he'd promised Cronus he'd tell her, after all, and this would be a good way to lead into it), but everyone was there, and while he didn't think people were completely oblivious to how he'd acted around her, he didn't want them to think he liked her. Even though he did. He just had the feeling that it would start all kinds of drama tonight and that was the last thing he wanted. There had been too much drama over the last week or two anyway without him needing to contribute any more. Besides, the movie was good and he didn't want to mess up the moment.

He glanced over Fef's head and somehow his gaze landed on Sol. He was white-knuckling his bottle of mead, the now-empty box of pizza between him and Aradia empty, and looking from the floor to the movie, although he mostly stared at the floor. Eridan couldn't tell if it was just the lighting, but his face seemed to be reddening. _Maybe he's drunker than he looks._ Sol lifted the mead to his lips and finished off the bottle, and Eridan's thoughts strayed to what those lips would look like wrapped around other things.

He shifted uncomfortably, crossing his legs. That was dangerous territory and he wasn't entirely opposed to it. Something was very wrong with him—Sol affected him in a way no one else had. Not even Vriska had affected him like this, distracting him so effortlessly or so completely unaware of what he was doing, but he did. Sol had no idea what he did to Eridan, and half of him wanted to hit him, but the other half of him strongly disagreed.

Hell, maybe _he_ was drunker than he thought because right now, the idea of kissing Sol seemed pretty appealing.

He bit his lip and shoved away the temptation—Sol was nowhere near him, and wanting to kiss him was stupid anyway, and his breath smelled like vegan pizza. To distract himself, he took another bite of his pizza and tried to pay attention to the movie.

The more he drank, the more difficult it was for him not to look at Sol, though, and he hated himself for it.


	35. Act 35

After _The Great Gatsby_ finished (John and Aradia sniffling over Gatsby's death), the party transitioned smoothly with the assistance of alcohol to an impromptu dance party. Feferi hooked her iPod up to the auxiliary port and started blasting Ke$ha, which made Eridan cringe at first, but by the time he finished off his third Redd's Apple Ale, he was singing along with just about everyone else. Most everyone with the addition of alcohol seemed to loosen up—Equius was smiling, for example, which was a rare occurrence, and Kanaya danced more exuberantly than Dave. The only one who grew more withdrawn was Sollux, who took to standing near the wall and downing bottle after bottle of mead. Eridan wondered how much mead one could buy for forty dollars.

Dave and John cleared out a space in front of the TV and Dave announced that the two of them had somehow managed to choreograph a dance to "Your Love is My Drug." Eridan had noticed that the two of them had vanished for awhile, but hadn't bothered to wonder why. Now, it seemed the unasked question had been answered.

Feferi giggled and obligingly put on the song, and as the music began, Dave and John got into position in the middle of the space they'd cleared. This promised to be interesting.

" _Maybe I need some rehab, or maybe just need some sleep. I got a sick obsession—I'm seein' it in my dreams..."_ Ke$ha started to sing, and John and Dave did a complicated-looking stepping movement in mirror images of each other. As the song went on, Nepeta pulled out her phone and started taping the shenanigans, only encouraging the boys to overly-exaggerate their choreography. This ended up being a mistake, though, because toward the end of the first chorus, John flung his arms a little wider than they'd rehearsed and ended up smacking Dave in the side of the face. His sunglasses flew off and hit the wall about ten feet away, but Dave barely noticed—he'd put his hand to the side of his face and doubled over.

"Shit! Fuck! God damn it, John!" He hissed and rubbed his temple, keeping his eyes closed. "Can someone get me my fucking glasses?"

John started for them, but Eridan said, "Maybe if you opened up your fuckin' eyes an' looked, you'd see 'em right there."

A flash of anger crossed Dave's face and he straightened up, lowered his hand, and opened his eyes.

 _Well, shit._ Apparently Sollux wasn't the only one with a freaky eye thing going on—Dave's irises were a deep, blood red. No wonder he wore those sunglasses. He probably received a lot of stares as a kid. Eridan's eyes were unusual, too, but he could at least acknowledge that purple was a really cool color of eyes to have, whereas red, especially that shade, was almost terrifying.

"Sorry," Eridan murmured as John handed Dave his sunglasses back.

"No, it's fine," Dave muttered. He slid his sunglasses back on and stopped the song, which had gone on playing in the interim. "It was stupid anyway."

Eridan really did feel like an asshole. It wasn't the first time he'd said something only to regret it later.

John was apologizing profusely as he and Dave melted back into their small crowd and things had become quiet and awkward until Feferi switched the music over to Macklemore, and by the time "Thrift Shop" finished, the party was back in full swing. Even Dave had managed to forgive Eridan's douchebaggery and join in.

Around ten-thirty, the party degenerated into half the group playing drinking games (including John and Nepeta playing beer pong against Dave and Karkat with the PBR and Terezi acting as judge—no one apparently realizing how flawed that idea was except Karkat, who seemed to realize that she would rule in his favor every time) and everyone else in a circle on the floor (Eridan's back against the sofa with the rest of them lounging there as well) playing Truth or Dare with Aradia's favorite band Abney Park now playing on the sound system. He had to admit, as he lifted a can of PBR to his mouth (which he'd broken into since he only had two bottles of Redd's left and he wanted to make them last), that they were pretty catchy and really unique. His inner and outer hipsters were both pleased. He'd had a feeling that this was how the night would end up, though. No lame barely-not teenage party was complete without an immature game like Truth or Dare.

They decided that Tavros would be first up. He looked around nervously. "Uh, Feferi?"

Fef grinned. "Yes, Tavros?"

"Uh, truth or dare?"

She looked up at the ceiling with an expression of such exaggerated innocence that Eridan knew it was faked. "Dare."

"Uh... I dare you to... uh... take a shot of Everclear."

Her eyes widened and Nepeta, thanks to her supersonic hearing, spun around. "Did someone say 'Everclear'?!"

"I'll do it." She stood up and Nepeta excitedly called a time-out for the game of beer pong while she scampered away to set up a shot of Everclear for Feferi.

She took the shot glass and a can of Coke in hand, knocked back the shot, and chased it with a long swallow of Coke. After about ten seconds, she slammed both the glass and the can onto the counter. "What the _glub_ was _that_?" she asked, but she was laughing. "Holy shit, Aradia, I have no idea how you did that!"

"Very carefully," Aradia joked.

Feferi laughed and skipped back to where she had sitting next to Eridan. He took a swig of beer as she grinned at them all mischievously. "Alright, my turn! Hmm..." She made a big show of looking around before her gaze settled on Eridan.

"W-wha'?" he asked, telling himself he did _not_ slur as much as he thought he did.

"Eridan. Truth or dare?" She continued grinning, prodding at him with her foot.

"Um. Truth."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Uh, okay. Have you ever kissed a guy before?"

Reflexively, his eyes flicked momentarily to Sollux, who had his third bottle of mead to his lips and wasn't looking at him. "Nope."

"Do you want to?"

"I dunno. Maybe," he said before he could think over his response or realize she'd asked him two questions now. Everyone else seemed too drunk to notice except for Kanaya, who opened her mouth to say something. Rose elbowed her hard in the ribs and shook her head.

"I dare you to make out with... Sollux," Feferi said, smirking.

The sound of his name immediately attracted his attention. "Wait, he said truth!" Sollux protested suddenly, pointedly not looking at the other boy. His face was turning red again. Next to him, Aradia giggled at his lisp, which had grown more pronounced with the addition of alcohol. "You can't do that!"

Eridan looked at him again, trying not to feel a little hurt. He hadn't really expected Sollux to want to kiss him or anything, but the way he had immediately flown to argue the dare made it pretty clear that he _really_ didn't want to kiss him. That stung a bit.

Plus, Sollux's lips looked impossibly full and sweet, just begging to be kissed. And, really, he wasn't gay, but it was really difficult _not_ to want to press your mouth against his. A guy didn't have to be gay to want to kiss another guy, right? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. It wasn't like he wanted to make out with Short And Yelling or Clown Makeup or Bull Nose or Too Strong For Anyone's Good. Sollux was different. He was clever and cute and really fucking distracting right now.

"Alright, fine," Fef said, pouting. "It's your turn, Eridan. Make it _reel_ good!"

Eridan half-grinned, wondering what to do. He really did want Sollux to kiss him, but he wasn't drunk enough to challenge him to Truth or Dare right now. "Um. Kan. Truth or dare?"

Kanaya leaned back against Rose. A look of steely determination appeared on her face and she raised her chin. "Dare."

"I dare ya to..." He had to think it over so he ended up saying the first thing that popped into his head. "Jump in the pool."

"You have a pool?" John asked from the beer pong table.

Dave scoffed. "Have you seen the size of this place? Of _course_ he has a pool."

"Naked or clothed?" Kanaya asked demurely.

"Uh, I don't care. W-whatever."

She nodded once and, without further ado, stripped off her shirt.

"Oh, my God," Aradia said, hiding her face.

"What? My only change of clothes is pajamas and I don't wish to ruin these with chlorine anyway." She stood up and shimmied out of her skirt, shoes, and socks.

"Uh." Eridan quickly averted his eyes.

"How do I get to the pool from here?" Kanaya asked pleasantly, as if she wasn't standing in the middle of someone else's basement in her underwear with twelve people in the same room.

"Uh. Up the stairs, turn left, tow-ward the back a' the house, an' outside the slidin' doors."

"Thank you," she said, and sailed toward the stairs. Rose scrambled to her feet and chased after her.

"I really thought she was gonna get completely naked," Aradia laughed.

"Perhaps we should have a towel ready for when she comes back?" Equius suggested.

"Shit. Yeah, you're right," Eridan said, climbing to his feet. He hurried to the bathroom and grabbed a thick, fluffy towel from the rack. He followed the path to the pool he'd memorized at two years old and heard a loud splash, followed by giggling and a second splash.

When he finally caught sight of the pool, both Kanaya and Rose had jumped in. Rose had left her own clothes next to the pool—all of them, by the looks of it. Eridan immediately closed his eyes again. "Uh," he said, covering his eyes with one hand and holding out the towel. "I brought you a tow-wel but I guess Rose needs one too, now-w."

"Not really," Rose said cheerfully. "We can share a towel!"

Kanaya laughed and pushed down on Rose's shoulders until her head went under the water. A few moments later, she reappeared a few feet away, laughing and spitting out a mouthful of water.

"Right. Okay. W-we'll be dow-wnstairs w-when you're ready," he stuttered, heading back inside.

"What happened?" Feferi asked as he took his seat again.

"Rose jumped in, too."

"Looks like we have to wait until they get back then, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Or," Feferi said, "you can pass your turn to someone else!"

"But it's Kan's turn, not mine."

"Fine. We wait ten minutes, and if they're not back, someone else takes her turn."

Eridan reluctantly agreed and they settled in to wait. Fortunately, Kanaya and Rose dashed in, dripping wet and giggling, with seconds to go before the five-minute limit ran out. Still, it took them another few minutes for Kanaya to towel herself off thoroughly, and while Rose had put her clothes back on, Kanaya deigned to stay in her underwear, sitting on the damp towel.

"It's your turn, Kanaya!" Feferi said, determined to keep the game going.

Kanaya nodded slowly, and she and Rose put their heads together to whisper conspiratorially.

"What are you _gills_ doing?"

"Coming up with a plan of attack," Kanaya said smoothly. "There is to be method to this madness."

Eridan had to admit that it was pretty impressive that Kanaya, five mixed drinks through her vodka, was still able to enunciate and actually still sound wise and serene. She went right back to conferring with Rose, and everyone else waited impatiently until Kanaya sat up straight. "Aradia. Truth or dare?"

Aradia bit her lip, grinning. "Truth," she said finally.

Kanaya and Rose exchanged three words between them before Kanaya asked, "Have you slept with Equius yet?"

This attracted Nepeta's attention in the middle of her ball toss. She turned as the ping-pong ball went flying and completely ignored Karkat's frustrated groan as it sank neatly into the red Solo cup in front of him and Dave. "What was that?"

"I asked Aradia if she's slept with Equius yet," Kanaya explained.

"I—" Equius started, but Nepeta pounced on his shoulders and covered his mouth. "Shoosh!"

Aradia blushed but grinned. "No, not yet. But soon."

An awed, " _Ohh!_ " went up from the group and even Terezi cackled.

"Okay, my turn!" She didn't even miss a beat. "Sollux, truth or dare?"

"Fuck," he muttered, taking another swig of his mead. "See, I know what you're gonna have me do if I pick dare and I know what you're gonna ask if I pick truth and I don't like either of them and you _suck_."

Aradia just grinned mischievously. "So pick the lesser of the two evils."

Sollux groaned, setting down his mead to hide his face in his hands. "Fine. Um." He sighed. "Dare."

"Excellent!" Aradia took a moment to dance in place and Sollux wondered just how drunk she was right now. "Alright, Sollux Captor. I dare you..." She let it hang in the air, letting the anticipation build and her grin widen until it practically fell off her face. "To make out with Eridan."

The only sound in the stunned silence was Sollux groaning, " _Fuck._ "


	36. Act 36

Eridan's heart thudded and he wondered if Aradia had completely lost her mind. Sol had gone ashen at the dare, but if _that_ was the lesser of two evils, what would she have asked for truth?

"Hang on," Sol muttered, grabbing his bottle. "I need to be more drunk for this."

Aradia smacked the back of his head. "No, you don't."

Sol gave him an anxious look, and Eridan took one last quick swig of beer. "Let's get this ov-ver w-with," he said, trying to sound more sober than he was.

Sol nodded nervously, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but there at that moment. "Yeah. Okay."

Eridan had to scoot closer to draw level with him. Before he could talk himself out of it, he caught Sol's face in his hands, paused only a split second longer to admire the elegant curve of the other boy's lips, and kissed him.

Sol let out a small gasp of surprise, and for a second, Eridan was sure he was about to push him away even though it didn't make any sense, it was the dare, and he hadn't flat-out said he didn't _want_ to kiss him, right? He sensed Sol's hands coming up to his shoulders and he mentally prepared for the letdown— _He really doesn't want this_ , he thought sadly—but then those hands of his didn't push him back. One hand bunched up the shoulder of his shirt, pulling him closer, and his other hand went to the back of Eridan's neck. Sol was definitely not letting go. Once he realized this was actually happening, that he was kissing Sol and Sol was kissing back, he let himself melt into it.

The first thing that registered was the sweetness—the literal sweetness—of the taller boy's lips. The taste was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place it. The hand Sol had at the back of his neck slid up, into the roots of his hair, and a pleasant shiver ran through him. He let his thumbs brush across Sol's cheeks, willing the two of them closer together, and smiled internally when he felt a sharp exhale against his cheek. He wanted so badly to run his fingers through Sol's hair, but this—holding his face, feeling the pounding of his pulse with his pinkies—was amazing, too.

He moved his hand back, accidentally knocking Sol's glasses askew, and Sol let go of his shirt long enough to pull them completely off, set them aside, and tug off Eridan's glasses, too. Then he moved his hand up to Eridan's cheek, sending a thrill along his nerves and causing him to shiver in undeniable pleasure.

He imagined he was in total control of himself, but he was the one who parted his lips first. Sol let out a quiet gasp and tightened his fists, opening his mouth and teasing his tongue against Eridan's teeth. He slumped back against the couch, allowing Sol to move over him, straddle his hips, and from somewhere far away, he thought he heard someone say, "Whoa, you guys can stop now," and someone else _shoosh_ ed them.

Sol's tongue probed deeper into his mouth, sliding against his, and as a faint moan escaped his throat ( _Jesus_ , this felt way too good to be real), he finally realized the taste clinging to every surface of Sol's mouth was honey from the mead he'd been drinking. It should have been obvious in retrospect, but it came all at once and he just knew that nothing had never tasted quite this sweet before. He also knew, immediately and irrevocably, that he'd never be able to taste honey again without thinking of Sol.

Far from freaking him out like he once thought it would, having a guy pressing him down—having _Sol_ pressing him down—thrilled him. A dull aching filled his gut and his head was spinning and he just wanted to feel more of Sol against him, to touch him and be touched by him, he wanted Sol's hand in his jeans, wanted to shove his own hand down _Sol's_ jeans—God, he was so hard now and he knew Sol could tell but he didn't shy away and he moaned again, another tiny, pleasured sound.

His heart raced—Sol was _great_ at this; no one had ever affected him like this before—and they'd just set up a brain-melting rhythm when an unpleasantly familiar voice wormed its way past the dizzying haze in his head. "Well, _this_ is unexpected," Cronus said.

The moment was ruined as the kiss ended abruptly and Sol twisted around, still in Eridan's lap. Eridan groaned in frustration, fumbling for his glasses and sliding them on his face. "God damn it, Cro, w-what the _fuck_ are you doin' here?"

"Girlfriend wanted to come home this weekend," Cronus said with a smirk that hinted no one would like where this was going.

"Hi, Feferi!" Meenah Peixes said, poking her head out from the staircase.

"Uh." Fef looked floored for a minute until it clicked. "Wait, are you dating _him_?" She pointed at Cronus.

"Ding-ding-ding! What has she won, Cronus?"

"An all-expenses paid trip to a chaperoned house party!"

Eridan buried his face in his hands. "Fuck my life."

"Speakin' a' fuckin', who's that on your lap?" Cronus added.

Sollux suddenly turned bright red and peeled himself away from Eridan. "No one," he muttered, reaching for his half-empty bottle of mead.

"No, seriously, w-what the _fuck_?" Eridan demanded, climbing unsteadily to his feet. "W-why are you ev-ven here? Did Mom an' Dad—?"

"They might a' had somethin' to do with it," Cronus said, shrugging. "Then again, they might not a'. Maybe I just wanted to check in on my li'l brother."

"God _damn_ it, I'm a fuckin' adult an' they said I could do this!"

"Looks like we were too late anyway," Meenah said, eyeing the beer pong table and the various empty and half-empty bottles and cans of alcohol strewn across the room. Her gaze fell on Kanaya, sitting next to Rose in her underwear. "It's already degenerated into a den of depravity. Who's been drinking the Everclear?"

"That would be me!" Nepeta said brightly, waving. "And _she_ took a shot—" She pointed at Aradia "—and _she_ took a shot, too!" She pointed at Feferi.

"Look at that, Cronus. The _gills_ have bigger balls than the _buoys_!" Eridan hadn't hung around Meenah much in his life, but apparently Feferi's penchant for fish puns hadn't been an isolated incident.

"More like everyone else prefers to get drunk gradually, like normal people," Karkat snapped, knocking back the Solo cup of beer that John had just sank his ping-pong ball into.

Cronus snorted with laughter. "Alright, daddy-o. We'll be upstairs if you need us." He pulled the two cigarettes that had been perched one behind each ear, stuck one in his mouth, and handed the other to Meenah, and the two of them mercifully ascended the stairs and left them alone again.

The whole mood had been quite effectively killed, though, and as Nepeta headed back to the beer pong table, the game of Truth or Dare fizzled out. Tavros suggested another movie, and since no one had any better ideas (except Rose and Kanaya, who took two pizza boxes, a Sharpie, and two dozen half-filled shot glasses between them to play Battle Shots), they popped in _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_ and took it from there.

* * *

"You didn't have to pick Dare, you know," Aradia said softly, brushing a few strands of hair back behind Sollux's ear. "You could have picked Truth."

"Yeah, and have you ask me who I have a crush on? No, thanks."

"You could have lied."

"And you would have known it and called me out on it."

She sighed. "So why did you pick Dare instead? You could have... I don't know, absconded or something."

He shook his head. "People would have talked. Besides... it kind of gave me an excuse to kiss him," he added with a half-smile.

"See? I knew you weren't completely opposed to the idea."

"No, only mostly. Now it _really_ sucks 'cause I know what I'm missing now."

She clucked sympathetically. "That good?"

"Either he's a really good kisser, or I'm too drunk to know the difference."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too. But at least this way I can still deny it meant anything. No one reads that much into a kiss, you know? People kiss people they don't really like all the time. I get to keep my dignity."

"I don't know," Aradia said slowly. "You seemed pretty into-it to me."

He groaned softly and buried his fingers in his hair. "You're really not helping, AA."

"So what are you gonna do?"

He shrugged and unconsciously licked his lips. He imagined he could still taste Eridan on them, and the wanting to kiss him again filled him with such an ache that he nearly doubled over. "Forget it ever happened, I guess. Or at least try, anyway." One kiss couldn't change everything. That only happened in chick-flicks and cheesy romance novels, and only to pretty, perfect people, not fucked-up basket cases like Sollux Captor.

One kiss wouldn't change _anything_.

* * *

Eridan was staring at the TV screen, but he wasn't watching the movie. His mind wandered with no hope of being reigned back in. He kept going back to that kiss, thinking about how it had felt to kiss Sol.

How could one little (okay, maybe not so little—he'd lost track of time but they'd been kissing for at least a minute, he was sure of that at the very least) kiss change everything? Suddenly, everything Eridan thought he knew had been shattered. He was too drunk to try to think this through by himself and he really wanted to pull Fef aside and confer with her, but there was no way to do that without attracting attention and he wanted to do with as surreptitiously as possible because considering the massive event that had just happened, it would be quite obvious what Eridan was talking to his best friend about.

He chanced a quick peek out of the corner of his eye. Sol and Aradia had crammed themselves onto one of the recliners, metaphorically laughing in the faces of physics and both of their six-foot-plus frames, although neither of them was laughing literally. In fact, Sol looked upset, and Eridan suddenly had the horrible feeling that maybe he really wasn't happy with how the night turned out.

 _It's obvious he doesn't like you_ , he told himself, forcing his eyes back to the screen and taking another swig of his beer. Disappointment flooded through him even as he loudly insisted to himself that he liked Feferi anyway, so Sol's opinion of him didn't really matter, now did it? He and Sol were barely civil to each other on their best days, and on normal days, they practically hated each other. Who cared if Sol didn't actually like him or want to kiss him?

But it had been a really nice kiss. His mind was still reeling from it, and a very big part of him wanted to go over to that stupid recliner, pull Sol out of it, and kiss him again. There was something magnetic drawing them together, and Sol apparently couldn't feel it, but Eridan could. He wished he couldn't.

One kiss changed everything.

* * *

"They're kind of stupid, aren't they?" Rose asked quietly, knocking back a shot glass filled with wine. She and Kanaya had decided not to use hard liquor for their game since neither of them relished the idea of liver failure and they were already pretty drunk.

"Their ignorance astounds me," Kanaya replied primly, still clad only in her underwear and perched on the now-dry towel.

"How do they keep missing each other?" They'd agreed shortly after _The Great Gatsby_ began that she would watch Eridan and Kanaya would watch Sollux and they'd count how many times they looked at each other. In two and a half hours, the count hovered in the low hundreds for both boys. That number had skyrocketed after the dare-induced kiss, though.

"Boys are dumb."

"Tell me about it. A-9."

"Miss. J-4."

"Miss. E-4."

"Shot." Kanaya tipped the shot glass of wine back. "I have a feeling we will be witnessing quite a bit more dumbassery on their parts before the farce is played."

Rose snorted with laughter. "E-3."

"Shot."

"It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. E-2."

"Sunk."


	37. Act 37

By the time the movie ended, people were dragging sleeping bags, pillows, and blankets out of their bags and setting up camp on the basement floor. John, Karkat, and Terezi used each other as pillows and passed out quite easily. Equius dragged the couch away from the wall enough for Tavros to curl up behind it (he said he was used to not having a whole lot of space between the wall and Gamzee and was even comforted by it because he did kind of miss his boyfriend right now) while Equius actually stretched out on the couch and fell asleep, oblivious to Nepeta napping on top of him. Aradia fell asleep on the floor next to him, her fingers intertwined with his, and Sol lay down with his back to hers, his glasses on the floor next to him, folded up neatly next to his plugged-in, albeit fully-charged phone. Dave passed out in a recliner, his head tilted back, his own glasses still on, and his graceless limbs flung across the back and dangling over arm rests. Snuggled up in the other recliner were Kanaya and Rose, huddled together under a blanket. Eridan and Feferi were the last two awake, the only ones to finish watching _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_. Once it was over, she let out a yawn and nearly fell backwards.

"It was a pretty good night," she said finally, stretching her arms over her head.

"Yeah. Um. I need to talk to you."

"About?"

At that moment, Equius gave a sleepy grunt, shifted his massive, ungainly frame, and unconsciously put his arm around Nepeta. He appeared to be fast asleep, but he could wake up at any moment and, besides, he wasn't quite convinced everyone was fully asleep yet. He didn't want anyone else to hear this. "Follow me."

He climbed to his feet and helped her up, and he led her down the basement hallway to the bathroom, flipped on the light, and half-closed the door.

"Alright, Eridan, what is it?" Feferi crossed her arms over her chest but her expression was far from stony. She looked equal parts concerned, curious, and tipsy. Eridan was none of those save the last, and he told himself there would never be a better time for this. Everyone was happy. It was perfect.

But the words stuck in his throat and he struggled to say them. "Look, Fef, I... I like you, okay?" he said, figuring the simplest explanation was easiest.

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously. We've been _fronds_ for years."

"That's not what I meant."

He saw her swallow and look down.

"You know what I meant," he murmured, realization dawning.

"Yeah. I guess I'm just... a little confused. You... you kissed Sollux. You seemed to like it. A lot."

His stomach lurched in a way that wasn't entirely unpleasant to remember that. "Yeah, so?"

"So why would you enjoy it if you like me so much?"

The question gave him pause. Admittedly, Sol _had_ been dared to kiss him, but he'd kissed him with such a visible enthusiasm that went beyond a mere dare that he knew what she meant. He'd wanted to kiss Sol—he wouldn't deny that even though merely admitting it was to admit that he'd been fighting against it this whole time. But Fef... She'd been with him through everything. She was everything to him. He'd had a crush on his sweet Fef for years now... hadn't he? "I don't know."

She sighed. "So what do you want from me?"

Uncertainty wracked him. Six months ago, he would have easily been able to say, "To be with you" or something to that effect, but kissing Sol had altered everything he ever thought he knew—about himself, about Sol, about Fef, about everyone. But it had been a long time since he'd kissed anyone before Sol. Maybe he'd just fallen out of the habit of how it felt. Vriska had affected him similarly to Sol, but her kisses had more of a savage bent than his. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, so softly that for a second, he wasn't sure she'd heard him.

But she had, and she nodded after a moment, biting on her lip.

He took a step closer to her, and then another, until they were practically nose-to-nose. He didn't think he'd ever been this close to her before; her eyes were so big that once he thought he could drown in them. Could it still happen? Gently, he tilted her chin and pressed his mouth to hers.

It was different. He felt it immediately. The most overwhelming feeling was awkwardness because the moment their lips met, he realized how wrong it felt and, unbidden, Sol's face floated up in his head. He suddenly wished it was the taller boy here with him, a realization that set his heart pounding. But it was all the answer he needed—whether he'd once really wanted to be with her or it was something he told himself, the illusion was shattered. He saw no point in dragging this out longer than necessary. He pulled back and Feferi's eyes fluttered open again.

" _Whale_?" she asked.

"It wasn't horrible," he admitted with a bare smile. Technically speaking, it was a nice kiss. But there was nothing behind it—no passion. Both of them felt how weird it was. Everything made sense, though. He'd never been able to find the right time to tell her he liked her because somewhere deep inside, he hadn't _wanted_ to.

"But?"

"Nothin'," Eridan murmured. "I thought that... never mind."

But somehow, Fef knew what he'd been about to say. "You thought it'd feel like it did with him?"

"Uh. Yeah." He sighed.

"So I guess you like Sollux, then."

There was fear in his eyes, but his voice was calm. "I dunno. I... maybe."

"You want to kiss him again?"

"Yeah."

"You wanna do more than that with him?"

He was afraid to acknowledge it. _I'm not gay_ , some part of him protested feebly, his heart rate ticking up, his breathing heavy in his chest, his whole head roaring—but slowly, he nodded. He did. He wanted to kiss him again, and more, but the whole world had flipped itself over. He'd spent basically twenty-one years telling himself he was straight but all he wanted to do was shove Sol down on his bed and cover him with kisses. There was no way in Hell he was straight, not if Sol made him feel like this.

"You wanna watch _Harry Potter_ movies with him?" she asked with a faint grin. From somewhere far away, he heard a rapid beeping, but he ignored it.

He cracked a smile himself at that question. "Fef, the list a' people I _wouldn't_ watch _Harry Potter_ with is a very short one."

Her grin widened. "I _mean_ , you wanna watch _Harry Potter_ with him without actually watching the movie?"

"Yeah."

"Look, Eridan, I know I can't _reel_ ly _sea_ what's in your head right now, but it _sea_ ms to me that you're at least attracted to him."

He nodded, sighing. "Yeah, not that it matters. He doesn't like _me_."

She scoffed, crossing her arms back over her chest. "Oh, please. Were you even _there_ when you two were kissing? I wasn't sure he was going to let you go. He likes you. A lot."

"Then why did he seem so against the idea a' me kissin' him in the first place?" he challenged.

"Use your brain," she said, rapping on his forehead with her knuckles. "I know you got one in that think pan of yours. I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that being a guy with a crush on _another_ guy who protests his heterosexuality at every conceivable op _perch_ - _tuna_ ty is a bit depressing. He probably doesn't want to give himself false hope. Although... if there _is_ hope, it might behoove you to tell him."

"But I... I never..."

"Dated a _buoy_? It's not that different from dating a _gill_ , and as I recall, you haven't done much of that anyway."

"Ouch."

She grinned.

"I meant the sex thing, though."

"You don't _have_ to sleep with him, you know—not if you don't want to. And he should respect it if you don't want to, or else he's an asshole. But I'm sure he'd be more than willing to take it slow if you at least _glub_ with him, okay? And one day, you might just want to. What could it hurt to maybe _sea_ where it goes? He likes you and you clearly like him." She shrugged. "But what do I know, right? I'm only your _frond_ , giving you a bit of guidance."

She was right, of course. She was always right. He nodded again.

"Come on." She grabbed him by the wrist and tugged him to the door, flipping off the light. "You buoys can _glub_ about it now or you can _glub_ about it later but right now, I need some sleep." She put a hand to her forehead. "I think everyone's all asleep right now anyway." She led him back out to the basement. He suddenly realized how tired he was and thought, deliriously, that everyone looked like grubs all wrapped up in blankets and sleeping bags like that. He picked his way over people and located his own sleeping bag, climbed into it, and yawned. Fef let out a yawn of her own and burrowed right to the bottom of her sleeping bag. He rolled over to his side, opening his eyes for one long moment to just look at Sol...

He was gone. The mustard-yellow sleeping bag he'd brought was empty, the glasses he'd set on the floor next to him were gone, and his phone had disappeared as well.

Eridan sat up and fumbled for his own phone. He unzipped his sleeping bag again and got up, dialing Sol's number and hurrying out of the basement as quickly and quietly as possible.

"Where you going?" Fef asked sleepily as he left, but he didn't bother to answer.

It rang for half a second until it went right to voicemail. _"Captor here. I can't come to the phone right now. Talk to the beep."_

"Fuck," Eridan muttered, waiting for the beep. "Hey, Sol, it's Eridan. Uh, look, you're not... You seem to hav-ve v-vanished," he stuttered, wishing he could sound more confident. He hadn't stuttered or slurred like this when talking to Fef, after all. "Just w-wonderin' w-where you are. Um, I'm gonna look around the house an' see if I can find you. I'll giv-ve you a call back if I can't. Yeah, um, bye." He hung up, feeling awkward, and began his top-to-bottom search for Sol.

He didn't even know why it bothered him so much. Sol was probably in one of the upstairs bathrooms, taking a piss (or trying to find one of the upstairs bathrooms, since he hadn't bothered to give any of them the grand tour. He figured they'd be staying in the basement the whole time, so what was the point unless he wanted Karkat to think he was flaunting his wealth. Maybe he had thought about it, but he wasn't _that_ much of a dick). Still, something about it didn't seem right. Would Sol have taken his glasses and his phone with him?

Maybe. If Sol was as near-sighted as him, he would definitely need his glasses, and people almost always had their phones on them. If he was in the bathroom, it would make sense if he didn't answer. In fact, it would have been weird if he _had_ answered.

He resumed his search through the house, poking his head into every room and letting out a quick, whispered, "Sol? You in here?" No answer anywhere. The longer he looked, the more he felt his worry mounting until he glanced into an empty bathroom on the third floor.

 _Shit._ Suddenly, he remembered the beeping he'd heard while he and Fef were in the bathroom. Now that he thought about it, it had sounded a lot like the security system going off, announcing someone opening an outside door. He scrambled back downstairs and checked the system to confirm that, yes, the front door had been opened twenty-two minutes ago.

It could have only been Sol leaving. Everyone else was accounted for—even Cronus and Meenah were asleep in Cronus's room.

Anxious, he dialed Sol's number, waited for the beep, and left another message. "Hey, Sol, it's Eridan. Looks like you took off. Security system shows someone leav-vin' about tw-wenty minutes ago an' I'm guessin' that w-was you. Um..." He struggled to keep the worry out of his voice and failed miserably. "Look, I dunno w-why you left but I'm comin' to get you. It's fuckin' cold out there right now-w. Stick tight, I'll be there soon. An' call me back as soon as you can, okay? Okay, bye." He hung up, hovered for a moment in the hallway, and finally headed back downstairs for his car keys.


	38. Act 38

He was halfway out the door with his keys in his hand when he stumbled and realized he was still pretty drunk. The temptation to just say "fuck it" and take the car anyway was powerful, but a long look at the gleaming lines of his BMW was long enough for him to imagine his precious car wrapped around a tree and he shook his head. He needed to wake Cronus up for this.

Fortunately, as he hovered outside his brother's bedroom door, he didn't hear anything that sounded like him and his girlfriend going at it, so he knocked loudly.

There was a stirring from within and then his brother's tired, irritated voice floated out into the hallway. "Who the fuck is _that_?"

"Cro, it's me!"

"Do you have _any fucking idea_ what time it is?"

"One-forty-seven. It's important!"

Cronus sighed, there came the sounds of rustling sheets and a soft murmuring, and then the door opened up a crack, just far enough for the elder Ampora to glare at him and for Eridan to see that he wore a pair of boxer shorts and that was it. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Sol's gone."

" _Who_?" The look on Cronus's face said he was having exactly none of Eridan's shit right now.

"Sol. Sollux. He's gone."

"Who the fuck is Sollux?"

"The, uh..." He suddenly realized he had no idea how to describe Sol short of "that one guy who was makin' out with me when you interrupted," and he really didn't want to go there right now—or at all, for that matter. Somehow, though, Cronus realized who he was talking about.

"That tall cat? 'No one'?"

Eridan wasn't exactly short, and Equius was the tallest guy there, but the only one to refer to himself as no one, especially in Cronus's presence. "Yeah, him."

"Gone?"

"Yeah. He's not in the house. I'm pretty sure he left—the security system shows someone headin' out the front door like a half-hour ago. I would a' gone to find him myself, but... I'm a bit too drunk for that."

"He drive?"

"Rode. With Equius."

"So he's on foot."

"Yeah," he muttered, suddenly disappointed. Cronus was going to tell him he could walk, but he didn't even know which direction Sol had gone off in. It would take him forever to find him.

"Alright, gimme a minute. Lemme put on some pants."

Surprised, Eridan looked up at him. "You're helpin'?"

"'Course I am. It's gettin' cold out there an' I don't want you gettin' some dumb idea about drivin' into your head anyway."

"Thanks."

Cronus closed the door and reappeared a few minutes later in a white T-shirt, a dark leather jacket, and ripped, faded jeans with a cigarette stuck behind his ear; he swung his keys in his hand. "Let's go find your boyfriend."

Eridan didn't bother to correct him. He simply hurried down the stairs as quick as he could, nearly tripping and falling face-first on the second-to-last step. He was only saved from an unfortunate face-plant and possible broken nose by Cronus grabbing him by the back of the shirt. "Easy, little monster. Maybe you should stay here. You're a little... plastered."

Eridan shook his head vehemently. "Nuh-uh. I gotta go. You can't make me stay."

"Alright, fine," Cronus said with a sigh. "Just slow down. Go too fast and you'll hurt yourself."

Eridan nodded obediently and followed his brother out the front door to his 1955 Mustang. One other thing besides their love of water that they shared was their affinity for the color purple. Cronus's car had been custom-painted a deep violet and the interior was done up in black leather with purple leather trim. Eridan hopped into the passenger's seat and buckled up, waiting impatiently for his brother to start the car.

"Alright, where do you think this cat went?"

"I... got nothin'."

"Drive around 'til we find him, aye," Cronus joked, putting the car in gear and pulling away from the house.

When they didn't find him in the first five minutes, Eridan began to really worry. He kept calling Sol's cell phone, chewing on a fingernail as he did so, but the calls kept going right to voice mail. _I hope he's okay._

* * *

Sollux sat on bench in this park he'd found, hugging himself with his knees drawn up to his chest while he tried not to cry.

Some stupid part of him, even after telling himself that one kiss couldn't change a single thing, had started to believe that maybe it would. Maybe Eridan _would_ realize he liked him. Some small spark of hope had ignited in him, and he carried it like a torch.

He woke from a light doze at the sound of Eridan and FF's footsteps heading away from the mass of bodies, realized he had to pee anyway, and followed them at a discreet distance. He only intended to wait outside the door, but then he realized they were both in there together, and...

And then that small spark of hope was snuffed out like a match in a glass of ice water when he saw Eridan and FF kissing. He could only watch for a second before he recoiled as if he'd been struck. Hell, it _felt_ like a physical blow. He backed away from the bathroom door, nature's call forgotten. His hand over his mouth, trying not to let out the pained whimper that threatened to escape him, he was unable to do anything but scramble away as fast as he could.

He went for his sleeping bag, snatched up his phone, and fled. Faster than he thought possible, he was up the stairs, retracing his steps through the house to the front door, and sprinting into the cooling, calming air outside. He ran.

He ran until his lungs burned and his eyes stung, and only then did he slow, wheezing from what wasn't entirely physical exertion. _Don't cry. He's an asshole. Don't fucking cry over him. Eridan Ampora is a creep. Don't you dare fucking cry over that prick._

He wandered up and down the neighborhood's streets for what felt like hours, trying not to think about what he'd just seen but somehow unable to keep his mind off it. After all this, Ampora still liked her, and apparently, she liked him. He supposed it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise considering _he_ liked Ampora, too, but he always suspected she had better taste.

He pulled off his glasses and set them on the bench next to him so he could rub his eyes. According to his phone, it was two-oh-four and he hugged himself tighter. It was cold and he hadn't thought to bring a jacket—he'd just been focused so entirely on fleeing that he'd just run out the door. He was freezing, the wind going right through him, and he wondered if he'd made a mistake, leaving Ampora's place in the middle of the night. He was sobering up now and he realized he had no idea how to get back. His feet had brought him here while his mind tortured him, and he was lost. He should have just stayed in the damn backyard or at least on the property somewhere, but he had wanted so desperately to not be anywhere near Ampora. He didn't know the house address, or else he would have used Google Maps to get back to the house, and he thought about calling Aradia, but what could she do? Wake up Ampora to ask for the address? That would be admitting defeat, that he'd fucked-up, and he was feeling too stubborn and too crushed to do that. He had no idea where he was aside from a rich Los Angeles suburb and no way of getting anywhere anymore.

He was just lost.

Ampora probably didn't even realize he was gone. He was so wrapped up in Feferi that no one would notice his absence until the morning—certainly no one had called him. At least it was October, though. It wouldn't get much colder than it was right now—although short sleeves in forty-degree weather with a strong breeze at night wasn't exactly comfortable. He wasn't built to withstand the cold.

Once or twice, a car passed by, and he found himself hoping it was one of his friends come to pick him up, that someone had found him, but the car never slowed. No one stopped.

His stomach growled suddenly. The pizza had been, what, six hours ago? But he'd only had two slices—Aradia had eaten the rest. He'd already filled up on mead and hadn't wanted to throw up. Now he was hungry again, and he gave an involuntary shiver. He was cold, he was hungry, and he was tired, and the first two made sleep impossible. He tugged his arms into his sleeves and hugged himself tighter. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

He wasn't sure how much later it was. He'd just slipped into a light doze when a third set of headlights swept over him from behind. He woke almost instantly, expecting the car to keep moving.

It didn't, though. It stopped.

* * *

It was nearly three in the morning when Cronus shot Eridan a sad look. "It's your call, little monster. We've been out here for like a' hour. Wanna keep lookin'?"

"Hang on. Pull over."

Cronus did as Eridan said and the younger Ampora pulled out his phone.

Fef answered the second before it went to voicemail. "'Lo?"

"Fef, it's Eridan. Look, I need you to—"

"Wait, what? Eridan? What's going on?"

"I'm tryin' to tell you. Is Sol there? In the basement, I mean."

"Sollux? Hang on." She set the phone down and he heard the faint sound of her calling Sol's name, a whisper in the darkness. "No, he's not here. Why? What happened?"

"Me an' Cro are lookin' for him. I was just wonderin' if he came back in the hour we've been gone."

"Oh. No—is he okay?"

"Dunno." He tried not to sound worried, but he couldn't help wondering if Sol really was okay. "Still lookin' for him. Lemme know if he shows up, okay?"

"Yeah, _shore_. Good luck."

"Thanks." He hung up. "He's not at the house yet."

"So what do you wanna do, daddy-o?"

"Maybe the park? I can't think a' anywhere else he might be."

Cronus gave a sad nod and set off for the park.

Eridan kept his eyes glued to the side window, scanning the sidewalks for any sign that Sol had come this way. He didn't know what he was looking for, but he knew he'd know it if he saw it. It was too fucking cold out there for anyone to sleep comfortably, even if they had a jacket—and what if Sol _didn't_ have a jacket?

"Hey. Look. That bench there," Cro whispered, as if afraid he might startle whoever it was (as if the car wouldn't have already done that).

Eridan jerked his head toward the front so hard he nearly gave himself whiplash. He quickly picked out the bench his brother was talking about, the one the headlights were fixed on. There was definitely someone there, and it looked like...

"Sol. That's gotta be him." Eridan threw off his seat belt and scrambled out of the car as fast as he could. "Sol?!" he called, as loud as he could to bridge the fifty or so yards.

He turned his head, sliding on a pair of glasses with one lens each tinted blue and red. It was definitely him, and relief washed over Eridan in an awesome wave. He started running toward him as Sol stared and slowly stood up, and as Eridan finally drew level with him, he flung his arms around the taller boy.

"Jegus fuck, Sol, you're freezin'! Come on, the car's warm," he said, starting to tug Sol toward Cronus's car, but Sol jerked his arm out of Eridan's grip.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?" he spat.

Eridan turned, stunned at the venom in his tone. "I... I came to find you. W-we've been lookin' for you for like a' hour. W-what happened?"

"Like you don't fucking know," Sollux muttered, taking a step back and leaning against the back of the bench. He crossed his arms in more of an effort to warm himself than to look annoyed, but Ampora could probably see the goose bumps raising on his skin. He'd been warm and he'd struggled to tear himself away from him. But he had to. He couldn't let himself slip any further into the rabbit hole than he already had.

"No, I don't, actually. I go an' talk w-with Fef an' you're there, I come back an' you're..." His voice trailed off. "You saw."

"Fuckin' right, I saw," Sollux said. He knew he was being petulant, but he wanted to make Ampora feel just as awful as he did. It wasn't his fault he felt like this, but in a way, it also was.

"Sol, look—"

"Don't fucking call me that," Sollux snapped. "It's 'Sollux,' not 'Sol.'" He made an extra effort not to lisp, although the effort was wasted because he wasn't fully sober yet and his tongue didn't want to cooperate.

"Alright. Sollux. I'm guessin' you only saw the first like thirty seconds or somethin' 'cause if you stuck around, you would a' heard. I... Okay, yeah, I kissed her, but only 'cause I liked her for years now an' I thought maybe I still did." Ampora crossed his arms and shivered slightly, the cold biting through his own thin shirt. He didn't wear a jacket or hoodie, either. "But I didn't. I _don't_. It took kissin' her to realize that, okay? Both of us—Fef an' me—we both realized it... it didn't feel right. Anythin' I thought I felt... if I ever really did, it's gone now."

Sollux had dropped his arms and the anger and hurt had melted off his face. Still, he kept his mouth shut, as if waiting for Eridan to go on.

"I... well, I meant to talk to you about this tomorrow. I don't..." He gave a pained sigh. "Look, can we talk about it tomorrow? It's fuckin' freezin' out here an' I think my hangover's kickin' in. I can't articulate right now."

Sollux waited a beat before nodding. "Yeah. Okay."

"Let's just go home."

This time, Sol allowed himself to be led to the royal-purple muscle car. Eridan opened the backseat door for him, but instead of closing it and getting into the front passenger's seat, he slid in next to Sol. "Blast the heat," he instructed Cronus. "Poor kid's freezin' back here."

Cronus shrugged out of his leather jacket and tossed it at Sol. "Bundle up, little monster."

Shaking from the sudden warmth, Sol tugged the sleeves of Cronus's jacket over his arms. It smelled of cigarette smoke and Cronus's cologne, but it was warm and while it was loose in the shoulder—Cronus was shorter than him by about two inches, but wider through the shoulders—it fit just fine everywhere else.

The elder Ampora put the car in gear and backed out of the parking lot, and Sollux realized he was unconsciously leaning into Eridan. He nearly pulled away but Eridan's arm snaked around him and he let himself melt into him, knowing it was stupid but needing to hang on to some scrap of him. For now, he could pretend everything would be alright, and even if he woke up later aching from heartbreak, he could think back to this and somehow remember feeling the anticipation of something good on the horizon.

Sol put his feet up on the seat—Eridan would have caught Hell from Cronus if he did that, but his brother seemed unwilling to yell at the guy since he'd spent the last hour and a half freezing his ass off—and curled up, putting his head in Eridan's lap. Eridan automatically moved his hand from Sol's shoulder to his waist and, with his other hand, started running his fingers through Sol's hair. Almost immediately, Sol's eyes drifted closed and a faint smile crossed his face, and Eridan half-expected Sol to start purring. It made him smile, though, and he finally had an excuse to stroke his hair, wispy over his ears and constantly falling into his eyes.

Every so often, Eridan would catch his brother's eye in the rearview mirror, although he couldn't tell what Cronus was thinking. He hadn't uttered a word of complaint since the mess started, something that surprised him. He wondered if he could tell that Eridan's heart beat a little faster with Sol so close to him, what he would think.

They finally pulled back in front of the house ten minutes later and Eridan gently shook Sol's shoulder. "Hey. Sol. Time to go inside an' get some real sleep."

Sol mumbled something unintelligible.

"Sorry. Sollux."

"You can call me 'Sol,'" he answered, finally straightening up. He followed Eridan out of the car, to the front door, into the hallway (Eridan pulling off Cronus's jacket and handing it back to his older brother; "Go the fuck to sleep now," Cronus said, shooting them a glare so poisonous they knew it was feigned and stalking up the stairs to his room), down the stairs, into the basement, and across the room.

Sol fell asleep almost instantly after his head hit the pillow, but Eridan lay awake a few minutes longer, looking at him and wondering what he was going to say to him in the morning. Finally, he rolled over and fell asleep as well.


	39. Act 39

When Sollux woke up the next morning, the first thing he did was check his phone. He was surprised to see fifteen missed calls and two new voicemails, but even more surprised to discover that every single one of those calls had been from Eridan, and they'd all arrived in the hour and a half or so he'd been prowling around the neighborhood the night before. For some reason, none of the notifications had arrived until now.

He listened to the first message. _"_ _Hey, Sol, it's Eridan. Uh, look, you're not... You seem to hav-ve v-vanished. Just w-wonderin' w-where you are. Um, I'm gonna look around the house an' see if I can find you. I'll giv-ve you a call back if I can't. Yeah, um, bye."_ The worry in Eridan's voice was almost tangible. _What the Hell?_ He deleted the message and went to the next one.

" _Hey, Sol, it's Eridan. Looks like you took off. Security system shows someone leav-vin' about tw-wenty minutes ago an' I'm guessin' that w-was you. Um... Look, I dunno w-why you left but I'm comin' to get you. It's fuckin' cold out there right now-w. Stick tight, I'll be there soon. An' call me back as soon as you can, okay? Okay, bye."_ Sol chewed on his lip. He had a feeling that Eridan's worry had been tempered with not wanting to be seen as clingy or overbearing. He couldn't even imagine what he would have sounded like if he hadn't cared about that perception. It was kind of sweet, though. _Well, he cares a little bit, at least._ He felt kind of bad for running out the night before, but there was nothing he could do about it now.

He looked around to see that just about everyone else had already woken up. Only Nepeta and Eridan remained asleep, she in a ball on the sofa with Equius's blanket still over her, and he with his limbs splayed out on the floor and snoring softly. He almost looked like a hipster starfish.

Sollux amused himself with imagining what kind of antics a hipster starfish might get up to before crawling out of his sleeping bag and hunting for a bathroom. He felt funky and in desperate need of a shower.

When he finished, he felt a lot better. He sat down on his sleeping back and looked from Eridan to Nepeta and back. Both of them were still sleeping soundly, and he didn't really want to wake Eridan up, no matter how much he wondered what he was going to say. But maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he would pretend there wasn't anything to say. He pushed that thought out of his head, though—it was too early for emotional crises, no matter what time his phone said.

He contemplated going back to sleep—he could have definitely used a few more hours—but he'd smelled food cooking while he was in the shower and his stomach demanded audience with whatever sustenance he could find, so he followed the scent to the source.

In the conjoined kitchen and dining room, everyone save Eridan and Nepeta was either eating or getting ready to eat. Cronus was hovering over a pan of what smelled like frying bacon, poking at it mournfully while Equius glared at a griddle of pancakes that weren't quite ready to be flipped over yet. Cronus looked up at Sollux's approach, and his face broke into a wide grin. "Hey, little monster," he said. "You feelin' better?"

Sollux didn't quite know what to make of the question, so he nodded. Aradia shot him a puzzled look; he would talk to her later and tell her what had happened the night before, but for right now, he was just really hungry.

"Bacon?" the elder Ampora offered. "Eq here's makin' more pancakes since we just ran out."

"We will need all we can get. Once Nepeta awakens, I'm certain she will be starving. She usually eats a lot of pancakes."

"Yeah, I'll eat them," Sollux said. "Bacon, too." As Cronus pulled a plate out of a cupboard, Sollux hoped he wasn't about to start talking about the night before. He'd been sober enough to know he'd embarrassed himself pretty thoroughly with the drama bomb he'd dropped. He didn't want to relive it.

Fortunately, Cronus didn't say a word about it, and handed Sollux the plate piled with three massive chocolate-chip pancakes and about five strips of crispy bacon. He drenched his pancakes in honey he'd located in another cupboard, sat down next to Aradia, and started eating while the conversation around them slowly resumed.

"So what happened?" she asked conspiratorially. "You throw up?"

Sollux shook his head. "Later. I'll tell you later."

* * *

Eridan finally stumbled into the kitchen a half an hour later. Sollux and Aradia were still at the table, Aradia waiting for Sollux to finish working through his pancakes, along with Equius, John, Dave, and Kanaya. Everyone else had wandered away, doing what, Sollux could only guess.

Eridan rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Thought you said you couldn't cook," he said to Cronus. He went over to the stove, running his fingers through his hair—which, Sollux was surprised to see, had absolutely zero product in it. One chunk hung in his eye, and the rest was tucked back behind his ears. Sollux had never seen Eridan's hair in any way other than anti-gravitational.

"I'm bein' taught," Cronus answered. "Bacon? I'm just kiddin', little monster," he added with a grin. He tousled Eridan's hair. "You want a couple a' pancakes?"

"Sure."

Sollux hurriedly went back to his food, pretending he hadn't just been eyeballing Eridan. He certainly didn't want to come off as creepy.

But Eridan took his plate, hopped up into the counter, and continued talking to his brother. Sollux glanced up occasionally, unable to keep himself from admiring the way Eridan's neck looked in that purple V-neck shirt he wore. It was actually quite distracting.

"When are you cats headin' back home?"

Eridan shrugged, yawned, stretched. "Probably tomorrow, unless someone wants to go back tonight. I don't really care."

"Better have the basement cleaned up before then. Don't leave it for Mya."

"I'm not that much a' a' asshole, Cro. It's not that bad, anyway. Five minutes a' work, tops."

"Furniture's gotta be moved back, too."

"We got Eq," Eridan said with a grin. "No problem. So when are _you_ goin' back?"

"Tonight, most likely. I got work in the mornin'."

Sollux couldn't hear the rest of the conversation since John picked that moment to start recounting how thoroughly he and Nepeta had trounced Dave and Karkat at beer pong the night before (it actually was a pretty impressive feat, but Sollux had seen most of it and wasn't interested).

* * *

Morning melted into the afternoon and when Nepeta finally woke up around one-thirty, she killed the rest of the pancakes so summarily that their wives and children didn't even have time to mourn before they, too, were destroyed. Everyone else had migrated back into the basement and begun watching _The Boondock Saints_ , a particular favorite of Tavros's, and while Sollux was consumed with curiosity with what Eridan wanted to talk to him about, he didn't look ready to say anything, so Sollux wasn't about to push him. Instead, he and Aradia hid on the floor behind the bar and he told her what had happened the night before.

"It's a long story."

"We have until the end of the movie."

Sollux nodded, peered out from behind the bar to make sure no one was listening, and started talking. "So I woke up and I really had to piss so I went to the bathroom. But ED and FF were already in there."

"Together?" She sounded scandalized.

He nodded. "Yeah. And... well, I saw them kissing, so I just kind of... left. I grabbed my phone and ran out of the house. And then I got lost."

"And you called him and he found you?"

Sol grimaced. "Uh, not exactly. More like, I wandered the neighborhood like a creeper until I found a park and then I stayed there. I didn't get any calls, which is weird since I woke up to fifteen missed calls and two voicemails from him but I guess I wasn't in a good service area or something. But I guess he realized pretty quick that I was gone 'cause he... well, he said he searched the house for me and I was gone and so he woke up Cronus and they ended up finding me just after three." He bit his lip.

"And?"

"And... well, I didn't really want to go with him at first 'cause I was pissed off at him. But he told me that... that when he kissed her, he realized he didn't actually have feelings for her anymore."

"Then what?"

He shrugged. "Then he said we'd talk tomorrow—today. An' I got in the car and we came back."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

"'Pretty much' is not everything."

Sol turned a little pink. "I... may have fallen asleep in his lap."

She grabbed his upper arms and leaned in. " _What._ " It was probably meant to be a question, but it sounded like more of a statement.

"Yeah. ED had his arm around me and I kind of... leaned into him an' the next thing I knew, we were back at the house and I guess I fell asleep with my head in his lap. He was playing with my hair, though."

Aradia's grip on his arms tightened and her eyes widened. "Sollux. He is so gay for you. Do you realize this?"

"I..." Eridan hadn't said anything about anything yet. Sol didn't want to get his hopes up for something that might be completely wrong. "I'm not sure." He'd certainly _hinted_ that maybe he really did like him, but until he said it with actual words, Sol was going to keep his hope locked down.

"I am. I am absolutely positive. When he kissed you last night, he almost looked relieved. Like he'd been fighting it for awhile and now he had an excuse to."

His heart beat a little faster at that. He felt that she was right—it made sense, after all—but he couldn't rule out the possibility that they were completely misconstruing everything. "Maybe. But I'll wait to believe it until he tells me. We still need to talk, so... hopefully it'll be something I want to hear. But I can't let myself expect it, okay?"

She sighed and nodded. "I'll believe it enough for the both of us." She kissed his forehead and they crept out from behind the bar to rejoin the cluster watching the movie.

* * *

Equius jumped into the pool after the movie (he had been prepared for the eventuality of a pool) and Nepeta quickly joined him. That led to John, Karkat, Terezi, Aradia, Sollux, and Tavros jumping in as well. Kanaya said she'd had enough of the pool the night before and Rose rolled up her jeans to dangle her feet in the water. Dave lounged on one of the deck chairs, listening to his iPod and coolly observing them all, and Eridan nearly charged out the back door to cannonball into the deep end until Feferi grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back.

"Ow! Fef, what the Hell?"

"Have you _glubbed_ with him yet?" she asked innocently, still hanging onto his arm to keep him in the house.

"Who?"

She gave a sharp yank. "You know who."

Eridan shot a glance through the glass door. Aradia was shoving Sollux's head under the water and he was far more preoccupied with knocking her off than what was happening inside. "Uh. Not yet."

"Eridan. You need to. What happened, anyway? Where was he?"

"The park. He saw us kissin' an' he freaked out, I guess. He... I think he was a little jealous," he added with a small smile.

"No— _not_ cute. Bad. What did you tell him?"

"The truth."

"You want him?"

"Not _that_. That there's nothin' between us."

Fef finally let him go, sighing. "You have to _glub_ with him soon. You told me you would."

"An' I will! I just need to... figure out what I'm gonna say."

"'I like you.' Hey, look at that! Easy!"

"Not that easy."

"Only because you're _mackrel_ ing it not that easy."

Eridan winced. "That was a _reel_ bad one."

She giggled. "I know. And they're only going to get worse." She fluffed her hair and slid her goggles over her eyes. "I'm going to send him in here, and you're going to _glub_ with him."

"Fef—"

"The longer you wait, the worse it'll be. Besides, this is a perfect distraction. Everyone else is busy in the pool. No one'll notice... except maybe Aradia, but she's his best _frond_. _Shell_ definitely notice. You'll never get a better chance."

"An' I did tell him I'd talk to him today," Eridan said slowly.

" _Sea_? Perfect!"

He sighed. "Alright, fine. I'll talk to him now."

She grinned. "Ex _shell_ ent!"

"That was horrible."

Feferi charged out of the house and plunged into the pool, splashing everyone who was already in as well as Rose who quickly scooted away and into a deck chair. When she resurfaced at the other end, she took advantage of the cover of Equius and Nepeta's splash war to sidle up to Sollux and whisper, "Eridan wants to _glub_ with you."

Sollux swallowed, nodded, and got out of the pool. He took a moment to towel himself off, wrap it around his waist, and grab his phone before heading back to the house. _This is it._ In a few minutes, everything could change, or nothing could change, and he just hoped he wouldn't be devastated by the results.


	40. Act 40

Sollux straightened his glasses, took them off, wiped them clean on a dry corner of the towel wrapped around his waist, and put them back on. He'd set his phone on the coffee table in the living room when he'd walked in, feeling incredibly nervous as Eridan got up from the sofa and looked everywhere but at him. Sollux scratched his arm nervously and part of him felt like running and hiding, but his feet were rooted firmly in place; he couldn't move even if he tried.

But Eridan looked just as nervous as he felt, if not more. He hadn't put any product in his hair yet and it kept falling into his eyes, making them look even more purple than they were. Whether it was his hair getting into his face, his nerves over the conversation they were about to have, or some combination of the two, he kept running his fingers through his hair, trying to brush it out of his eyes and failing miserably. He momentarily glanced up anxiously at Sollux but didn't make a move to say anything.

 _We have to get this out of the way. I guess it's up to me._ Sollux cleared his throat. "Um... FF told me you wanted to talk."

Eridan swallowed. "Uh... yeah." He exhaled slowly and finally looked up to meet his gaze. "I guess, first, I'm sorry. About ev-verything."

The cold weight of dread settled in Sollux's chest and he found himself struggling to breathe past it. He should have known better than to expect anything else but the icy burn of rejection. Why would Eridan want _anything_ from him, let alone a legitimate relationship? He hadn't acknowledged it, even to himself, but the thought that there _could_ have been something between them had implanted itself in his subconscious. It felt like last night all over again—Eridan was straight, and just because he didn't have feelings for FF didn't mean _that_ had changed. This time, though, he promised himself that he would check his reaction. He wouldn't let Eridan know how much pain he was in, how much this was hurting him. He could at least pretend to be okay for his sake and AA and FF and everyone else.

He just wished he wasn't affected so totally, so severely, so irrevocably by someone he'd only met two weeks before, but Eridan had gotten into his head that first night with the same laser-focused look he wore now and Sollux hoped it wasn't obvious from his expression that he just wanted to scream, anything to relieve the pressure in his chest. "Okay," he said.

"Like... w-what I said that first day... that w-was a dick move. An' puttin' that hot sauce in your honey," he added. A smile tugged at the corner of Eridan's mouth and Sollux found himself smiling a bit in response, too. It _had_ been pretty funny, now that he thought about it. "An' I guess in general just bein' a dick to you. So... sorry. It's still your turn to prank me, though. Fuckin' w-with my car w-was pretty lame."

Sollux's smile widened a bit. The cold ache in his chest was still present, but it had eased a little. Faking it might not be as hard as he thought. "Actually, I started one but you didn't really bite," he admitted. "Not the most well-thought-out plan, but it got down to the wire and I needed something."

Eridan looked confused. "W-what are you talkin' about?"

"Um. Does the Pesterchum handle 'alkalineTwisted' ring a bell?"

"No... w-wait. Girl by the name a' Jane but not Jane Crocker?"

Sollux chuckled nervously. "Yeah."

"That w-was _you_?"

"Yeah. Like I said, not the most ingenious idea.

Eridan grinned. "Definitely not. I _thought_ that w-was you! I asked you about it an' you said you didn't know-w w-what I w-was talkin' about."

"Actually, I believe I pretended not to know who you were and blocked you," Sollux corrected. "But did you really expect me to admit, 'Yeah, that was me'?"

"Nah, I guess not," Eridan said, laughing softly. Then, more seriously, he asked, "Am I still blocked?"

Eridan had no idea how he was looking at Sollux, did he? His expression was so full of concern and hope that it very nearly broke his heart again. He wanted to tell Eridan to fuck off, that this wasn't how you let someone down easy—because he'd realized that's what this was. Eridan was trying to soften the blow as much as possible, to make him believe it was Eridan's own fault, not Sollux's, but he knew this was all on him. It was his own damn fault he was in this mess, his own fault he'd fallen for a straight guy who'd never return his feelings in the first place.

He shook his head and admitted quietly, "No. I unblocked you awhile ago."

And then Eridan smiled, wide and relieved, and Sollux wanted to scream at him, "Don't fucking look at me like that!" but he couldn't. Eridan was looking at him like that was all he wanted in the world and his wish had been granted and it was only killing Sollux. "Good," the shorter boy said, still smiling at him in that way that made Sollux want to hit him, kiss him, and die all at the same time.

But then his smile slipped and Sollux braced himself. _Here it comes._ "But anyway," Eridan said, twisting his fingers together although he never looked away from Sollux, "there's somethin' else I w-wanted to talk to you about."

Sollux nodded, not trusting himself to speak. This must have been what it felt like moments before you let someone push you out of an airplane with no parachute.

"Do... you remember that thing I said? About... not likin' guys?"

He nodded again, wishing he could just hit the ground already. _Just say it. Make it quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Get it over with. Say it—you still don't like guys, the kiss meant nothing, but you still want to be friends with me or whatever bullshit you want. Just kill me and be done with it._

"W-well, I might a' been a bit hasty w-with sayin' that," Eridan said, so quickly that Sollux wasn't sure if he'd heard him correctly. Without waiting for a response, Eridan went on. "An' I don't know-w if it's just you or w-what, but I do know-w that I like you a lot an' I w-was hopin' you felt the same."

Sollux was struggling to breathe again, but for a completely different reason. _He... he likes me. He likes me? He_ likes _me. How...?_ He couldn't quite process this revelation but it must have sunken in somewhere because a huge grin had broken across his face and he didn't care if this was some offshoot timeline or alternate reality because it was actually happening to him, to them, right now and _Eridan liked him!_

Without thinking, Sollux reached out, grabbed him, pulled him close, kissed him. That was when his brain kicked in, just as Eridan let out a stunned little gasp against his lips. _Fuck!_ he thought. He'd jumped the gun, hadn't he? But before he could let Eridan go, the other boy's nails were digging into the skin of his bare shoulders and dragging them closer together.

His heart pounded just like it had the night before when the two of them had first kissed and Sollux had given it everything he had, as if it would be the last chance he'd ever have to do it—and at the time, he thought that was the case. But they were kissing again, Eridan's hands trembling in expectation even as he dug his nails harder into Sollux's skin. He was grateful for the pain, though—it rooted him to the moment, and it was Eridan touching him, kissing him, Eridan's chest, his whole warm body pressed against his, the taste of Eridan in his mouth, getting under his skin again.

One of his hands disappeared into Eridan's hair and he was pleased to discover that without a vat of hair gel in it, it was actually quite soft. He gave a tiny, pleasured whine as Sollux's fingers slid through the strands and it only encouraged Sollux. He fisted his fingers and pulled, tugging Eridan's head back by his hair, and slid his mouth down until his lips found Eridan's neck and brushed against the skin. He couldn't help it—his skin looked so smooth and tempting, how could he resist? Eridan's mouth suddenly freed, he moaned and keened nearly nonstop until Sollux was sure he could drown in those sounds.

"You like that?" he murmured, his lips still against Eridan's neck. He punctuated his question with a light, quick bite.

Eridan gasped. "Oh, _cod_ ," he whimpered softly. "Yeah, yeah, I— _oh, fuck_ ," he whined. Sol had bitten him again, but instead of a quick nibble, he'd locked his whole mouth down, sucking on his skin and licking. He ran his fingers encouragingly through Sol's still-damp hair—it had been so long since he'd made out with anyone that he'd forgotten just how much he liked having his neck kissed, licked, bitten—and subconsciously ground his hips against Sol's. He knew Sol was bound to leave a hickey, but he could not summon one single fuck to give. _Let them see._ It was what he wanted right now—proof that this was happening.

Admitting it, saying the words, flat-out telling Sol, "I like you," had been the hardest thing he'd done, especially when all he could think was that maybe Sol didn't think of him as anything special—but he'd run from the house after seeing him and Fef kissing, and he wouldn't have pegged that as the reaction of someone who was anything except jealous. But if it was a drunken jealousy... _No._ He'd shoved that thought away just as quickly as it popped up. It couldn't be. But it just drove home how little he and Sol actually knew about each other.

He wanted to know more, though.

Every word had been easier than the last, although talking fast helped. Sol had looked so nervous after he apologized that he just knew he'd been expecting the worst. He could almost see the thought running through his head: _Brace for shock. Boom! Hit alpha!_ But all Eridan wanted was for Sol to smile, and he _had_. That relieved, "I can't believe exactly what I want is actually happening" smile had been contagious, especially after how certain he'd seemed to be that Eridan was about break his heart.

The last few minutes already seemed like a dream, Sol's mouth on his neck and his hand in his hair and their bodies pressed together so hard it felt like their was only one heartbeat between them, but it would have been the best dream he'd ever had. He didn't want this moment to end, wanted to cling to Sol forever and revel in how _right_ it felt, how sweet Sol's mouth felt against his skin—

"Damn it! _Again_?"

 _Shit._ Eridan was brought back to reality with an unpleasant bump and he quickly turned to glare at Cronus, who was standing in the doorway with headphones over his ears and his hand over his eyes. "Oh, come on!" Eridan snapped. "You gotta be shittin' me with this!"

"Look, daddy-o, I'm givin' you an' your boyfriend thirty seconds to fix yourselves an' get the fuck out a' here. Meenah an' me are gonna watch a movie in here."

"Go watch in the basement!" Eridan protested, taking a reluctant half a step back from Sol, just far enough to readjust his swim trunks and take a breath that didn't taste or smell like Sol. Meanwhile, the other boy in question was doing the same, turning bright red as he did so.

Cronus shook his head. "Nuh-uh. All you cats are out there in the pool. We're makin' sure no one drowns."

"Are you _serious_? We're all fuckin' adults, and Fef's a registered lifeguard!"

"Out!" Cronus barked, pointing toward the pool with his eyes still covered.

Eridan groaned and led Sol back out to the pool by the wrist. "Sorry."

"Not your fault," Sol said. He still looked embarrassed at having been caught making out with Eridan by his older brother for the second time.

Eridan let go of his arm a few seconds before anyone noticed them, let out a war cry, and jumped into the pool. While he was underwater, Fef caught his eye and gave him a thumbs-up with one hand and a thumbs-down with the other.

He smiled and gave her a thumbs-up in response.


	41. Intermission IV/Act 41

_**INTERMISSION IV** _

Your name is Vriska Serket.

Today is Friday, November 9, 2001, a day you are sure will hereafter be known as the greatest day of your eight-year-old life. It's also known as the day the third-grade classes will be going to Legoland.

You wake your parents and sister up extra early, but only after feeding your pet tarantula, Marquise Spinneret Mindfang. The Marquise seems most grateful for sustenance this morning, and you think you see a flicker of gratitude in at least one of her many eyes.

You wolf down your breakfast at lightning speed in your Spiderman pajamas before hurrying to get dressed. A special occasion like this calls for your favorite outfit: your favorite pair of jeans, your white T-shirt with a blue scorpion emblazoned on the front, and your favorite red sneakers. Your mom makes you wear a jacket because it's November, but you refuse to zip it up. You love scorpions and spiders and all manner of eight-legged wonders.

Your father sometimes laments the fact that both you and your older sister Aranea like arachnids. You like them more than she does, but unlike your best friend Nepeta, Aranea isn't afraid to close the door and let Marquise Spinneret Mindfang out of her tank and play with her. You both know better than to let the Marquise loose in the house, though—your parents aren't necessarily afraid of spiders, but your dad avoids your bedroom as much as possible, and you're pretty sure the Marquise is the reason.

You wish Aranea could come with you on the field trip today, but it's for third-graders only and Aranea is a grown-up, mature sixth-grader. You feel sad to leave her behind to a normal, boring school day, but at least you'll have Nepeta with you. She _is_ your best friend, after all, but you've begun to wonder if you can have a _best_ friend if you only have one friend in the first place.

You can't help being slightly envious of Nepeta, either. She's tiny and pale with long blond hair and she has a knack for making friends. You're one of the tallest girls in your class and everything about you is brown and boring. You wonder if your sister is ever jealous of her friends. She, at least, has more than one friend. A few are even _boys_ , although you think boys are weird.

Well, _most_ boys. There's one boy who you can't help but like. He's very shy and he sits at the front of the class because he's short and he has a wide nose but you think it's cute. You just don't know what to say to him most of the time, so you throw things at him at recess and hopes he notices you and doesn't think that brown is boring.

You don't really know what to say to anyone, really. It's a miracle Nepeta is even friends with you, you think, and it's only because she approached you. She's tried to introduce you to people in hopes of you making new friends, but she doesn't seem to realize that the only reason they hang out with you is because she's there.

You just hope there never comes a day when the two of you aren't friends.

* * *

Your name is still Vriska Serket.

Today is Saturday, November 10, 2001, a day you are sure will hereafter be known as the worst day of your life. It's also known as the day after your school bus was struck by a truck and the day you lost your left eye.

The IV in your arm keeps you from feeling pain, but it doesn't keep you from feeling horrible. There is a piece of you missing, a literal piece missing, and you wish with all your heart you could go back to the morning before and pretend to be sick. You'd give anything to go back and not be on that bus.

You weren't the only injury, you're told—the doctors say that Tavros Nitram, the boy you like, had both legs broken. They didn't say "the boy you like part," but he is. But somehow, you can't summon any pity for him. His legs are broken—big deal. He'll be able to walk again. He'll get out of his wheelchair eventually and no one will know he was in an accident.

But your eye is gone. They're already fitting your for a glass eye, but you'll never be able to see with it. You're not even sure you _want_ the glass eye. Maybe other people won't know it's fake, but you will. Maybe you want to wear an eye patch, like a pirate. Pirates are cool. Glass eyes are _not_ cool.

Tavros rolls in sitting in his wheelchair to visit you. If you weren't in such a foul mood, you would have welcomed his company and enjoyed the shy smile he finally aims at you and the way he says, "Hello, Vriska," the way he always talks where his voice raises at the end as if he's asking a question. But you don't want to see _anyone_ , let alone another reminder of the bus accident, so you scream at him, "Go away!"

He looks so hurt that tears start welling up in his eyes and you immediately feel bad, but before you can say anything else, the nurse who brought him in wheels him right back out and another nurse puts more medication in your IV. You start to say, "Tell Tavros I'm sorry," but everything slows down and before you can finish Tavros's name, you're asleep.

He never comes back to visit you.

You tell your parents after you wake up that you don't want a glass eye, you want an eye patch, and your mom says, "Okay, sweetie, if you want an eye patch, you'll get an eye patch."

Your dad says, "Why would we get her an eye patch? She'll look like a pirate!"

You say, "That's the _point—_ I don't want a glass eye! I want to look like a pirate!"

Your mom says, "She wants an eye patch. Let her have this. She's just been in an accident—it's what she wants."

Your dad says, "We give her everything she wants! She wanted to go on that field trip so badly, and look where it's gotten her!"

Your mom says, "Don't you dare blame her for that accident! It wasn't her fault!"

Your dad says, "I'm not _blaming_ her, I'm just saying that catering to her every whim isn't a good thing! She and Aranea both—"

The nurse asks them to please stop arguing or leave the room, so they get up and leave the room. Once they start arguing, they don't stop for hours.

* * *

Your name is still Vriska Serket because your mom doesn't want to make you go by her maiden name. "You're a Serket on all your legal documents," she says. She goes back to her maiden name, though.

Today is Tuesday, May 14, 2002, a day you will remember as the second-worst day of your life. It's also known as the day your parents' divorced was finalized.

Your dad moves out. He says a teary goodbye to you and your sister and looks for a long moment at your mom but doesn't say anything to her.

Your mom says he has joint custody of the two of you and you'll see him on the weekends.

Aranea grabs your hand and hugs you when you start to cry. It always stings where your left eye used to be when you cry, so you try not to cry very often, but you can't help it right now. Your dad is leaving, and the weekend is too far away.

You wish you could call Nepeta and tell her what's happened, but after the accident, you stopped talking to her. You stopped talking to anyone, really. Now she has a new friend, a boy from the other class named Equius Zahhak, the boy she'd been partners with on the bus. She says he saved her from being hurt by cushioning her, and you want to punch both of them in the face. You didn't have a partner like that. You were stuck with Erik Foster and since you sat by the window, he ended up using _you_ as a cushion. You lost your eye and he made it through with a few bruises and scratches.

Your mom says it's okay to be angry, though. She says you went through a trauma. She says maybe what you need is to start fresh. She says next school year, you'll go to a new school, both you and Aranea because this summer, you'll be moving a little further upstate.

Aranea screams and cries at this. She'll be in the seventh grade next school year—she's already started junior high. She doesn't want to leave behind her friends, not Meenah, please don't make her leave Meenah, she'll miss Meenah.

But your mom says she already bought a house and you're moving in July.

Aranea screams, "I hate you both!" Aranea turns and runs into your shared bedroom, slamming the door and locking it behind her.

"Why do you hate _me_?" you ask through the door, trying not to cry again.

"Because of your stupid accident! You're the reason we're moving! You made Mom and Dad get a divorce!"

"That isn't her fault," your mom snaps. "Get out here and apologize to your sister!"

"No!" Aranea screams.

You burst into tears and run into the backyard.

You sit with your back to your favorite tree, the tire swing still hanging from a strong branch. You lift your eye patch and wipe your eyes and cry and cry for everything you've lost already, for everything you're about to lose. You hate your father for leaving, you hate your mother for making you move, you hate your sister for hating you, you hate Nepeta for finding a new friend, you hate Tavros for getting better. The only person you don't hate right now is Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, and she's not even a person.

When your sister finally unlocks the bedroom door and comes out, she apologizes and starts crying. You tell her it's okay and you forgive her. All you want to do is take the Marquise out of her tank and let her crawl on your arm for awhile.

You head to her tank and look at her. She must be asleep, because she isn't moving. You tap on the glass to wake her up—the first day you had her, you learned not to startle a sleeping tarantula. She doesn't move, so you tap harder, more insistently.

"Vriska?" Aranea asks softly.

"Leave me alone, please," you say. "I just want to play with Marquise Spinneret Mindfang."

"That's the thing," Aranea starts, but you ignore her.

"She won't wake up."

"Vriska... I think she's dead."

"No. She's not dead. She can't be." _Not today. Please, not today._ Abandoning your better judgment, you put your hand in the tank to poke her. She doesn't move. "Please," you cry. "Please wake up."

But she doesn't, and you cry yourself to sleep every night for the next month.

* * *

Your name is still Vriska Serket.

Today is Thursday, October 31, 2002. It is also known as your ninth birthday, and the end of the year that should have been the greatest of your life but ended up being the worst. You are not sad to see it go.

You've made a new friend at your school named Terezi. You like her a lot, mostly because she's practically blind, but she also has a wicked sense of humor. You invite her to your house to have dinner with your mother and sister, and she accepts.

You wish your father would set aside his disdain for your mother to join you, but you haven't seen him in months and he hasn't called you today. There was a present in the mail from him last week, a new tarantula you named Marquise Spinneret Mindfang II after your beloved first pet, but there was no note. You wouldn't have even known she was from him if it hadn't been for the return address with his name.

You bring Terezi to your new room—you don't have to share with Aranea anymore; your mom says she's almost a teenager now and needs her own space—and ask her if she's afraid of spiders. She boldly says that she isn't and you tell her to hold out her hand. She does and you reach into Marquise Spinneret Mindfang II's tank and gently pull her out. It's the same tank that the original Marquise scurried around in—you could never bring yourself to throw it away—but it has a few new toys to keep the new Marquise happy. You tell Terezi not to panic and gently deposit the Marquise into her hand.

Terezi's expression shifts from cool and collected to a little nervous. "Uh, did you just put a spider in my hand?"

"She's a tarantula. That is the Marquise Spinneret Mindfang II," you say proudly.

Terezi still looks nervous. "Uh, what happened to the first?"

You bite your lip. "She died. A few months ago. The day my parents got divorced."

"Oh." She looks sad now. "Can you take her? I... I thought you meant like a regular-sized spider, like a Daddy Longlegs, not a tarantula," she says.

"Sorry," you say quietly, and gingerly pluck Mindfang II from Terezi's outstretched hand. You run a gentle forefinger down her abdomen and she settles into your hand before you place her back into the glass tank and she slowly walks off. You set the lid of her tank back on and turn back to Terezi. "My mom should be almost done with dinner. Come on!"

* * *

Your name is still Vriska Serket.

Today is Friday, June 8, 2007, a terrific day in your life. It's the day you graduate from middle school—the same middle school Aranea graduated from three years ago—and next year, you'll be a freshman at the same school where she'll be a senior. You can't wait to see her in the halls again. Your current school is a kindergarten through eighth grade school but the junior high kids were always kept separated from the fifth-graders and younger. Once you reached sixth grade, Aranea had moved on to high school.

She's so mature now, you can't believe she ever felt as awkward as you do now. You try to imagine having a sixth-grade sister right now and you can't. You're lucky to have her as your sister. She's taught you a lot.

Family are the only ones who can be trusted—Dad doesn't count. Aside from phone calls on Christmas and birthdays, you never hear from him. Aranea says, "Dad is an asshole. If he loved us, he would call more." You have to agree.

She also says that you can't trust your friends, either. If Nepeta cared, she says, she wouldn't have abandoned you after the accident. If Terezi cared, she wouldn't have killed your LARP character (who you also named Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, as well as drawing copious amounts of designs for her) with hers (who she named Redglare) and then refused to speak to you for a week afterward, pretending you were dead. You wanted to hit her for a long time, but instead, you just ignored her, too, and after Terezi began speaking to you again, you pretended you couldn't see or hear her. That effectively ended your friendship with her, bringing your total of friends down to zero again.

She says you don't really need friends, either. Not when you can manipulate people to get what you want. She shows you how to do your makeup to look extra pretty (over the last few years, you've been surprised to realize that you've been becoming rather attractive) and all summer teaches you how to flirt to get what you want. By the time school starts in the fall, you're ready to break hearts and take names.

* * *

Your name is still Vriska Serket.

Today is Thursday, May 13, 2010, and you have just broken your very first heart.

Not your own, fortunately—that pathetic little rich kid Eridan Ampora. He speaks with a stutter, tripping over his Vs and Ws (listening to him say your name is painful) and you taunt him relentlessly about it, but you turn right around and flirt with him just like Aranea taught you. Apparently Eridan's older brother Cronus had the same stuttering problem and she manipulated him just like you manipulated Eridan. She crushed Cronus, but you've improved her technique and obliterated Eridan. After sleeping with him, secretly pretend-dating him for three months, and making him feel both worthless and powerful by turns, you've kept him stuck to you and almost ripped him away from that stupid friend of his, Feferi.

Then he asked you to the prom. You laughed in his face and told him to get lost. You didn't want to go to prom with him—your relationship was effectively over.

He looked stunned and asked if you were serious. You said yes and he turned and almost dashed away, laughing as he ran.

But a part of you still feels sad. You actually kind of liked him, no matter what you said to him. You wouldn't have lost your virginity to him if you didn't like him, and he hadn't been bad. He'd been a virgin, too. All things considered, it was rather impressive for a mutual first time.

But Aranea had told you so many times, like a mantra, that no one could be trusted but your mother and your sister. You believe her, of course. She's been right about everything. About life, about friends, about dad, about the death of the first Marquise.

She was right about you, too. You're the cause of all the bad that happened to the family, and you're lucky you still have them.

* * *

Your name is still Vriska Serket.

It's Saturday, October 26, 2013.

You're so good at using people that you've forgotten how to connect with them.

Seeing Eridan back at college, seeing how he still has that stupid stutter and he is still still hung-up about what happened makes you smile. You liked him, but you smile.

You avoid Tavros. You found him the summer after you graduated high school and found that your childhood crush on him lingered. You toyed with him for a year before, during one off-again phase in your relationship, he cut the tie for good and found someone else. You try not to feel devastated over the one that got away.

You smirk and say pretty, taunting things to Kanaya. You really liked dating her, finding out that girls were just as vulnerable to manipulation as boys. You had no real reason to toy with her—it was just fun, and she's wicked pretty anyway.

You text lines from Nicholas Cage movies to John—you both had a passion for them, as lame as they are. He's fairly rich, just like Eridan was, but not quite to the obscene Ampora wealth. Mostly, being with him had been easy, uncomplicated.

Every time you felt yourself getting too close to one of them, you would bounce to the next one. Tavros, Kanaya, John—they were your constants. After Tavros never came back, it was just Kanaya and John, but it was enough. You'd dropped them both for awhile but sent them flirty texts to keep the spark alive for when you finally enrolled in their school.

Kanaya, you fear, is gone for good as well. You can't believe a second one slipped away. You struggle to tighten your arachnid's grip on John, but the more you clench, the farther away he slides. You think you're losing your touch.

It's five days before your twentieth birthday. You haven't spoken to your mother or Aranea in a month. Your father hasn't called you on your birthday since you turned seventeen.

You won't admit it to anyone except the third Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, but you've never felt more lonely.

_**END INTERMISSION IV.** _

* * *

_**ACT 41**_

Cronus and Meenah took off from the house around six that evening. It was a mad scramble for everyone to shower when only three people could shower at once (unless someone doubled up, but surprisingly, that didn't happen). Everyone finished around seven-thirty and Feferi ordered food from the vegan-friendly Chinese place down the street.

They gathered in the basement to watch HBO reruns of _Game of Thrones_ (a few of them still hadn't seen it, so Aradia insisted they watch it) and wait for their food. Once it arrived, it took another ten minutes to get all the orders sorted out and then Nepeta busted out the Everclear again. This time, everyone except Terezi, Karkat, and Tavros took a shot—even Equius did, although he grimaced afterward and coughed loudly.

He and Aradia ended up making out on the floor in front of the couch. One of Sollux's legs dangled between them but he brought it up to the cushion and kept it there, eating his food and staring at the screen, acutely aware of Eridan sitting right next to him and doing the same thing. Feferi was on Eridan's other side with Dave squished in beside her. Nepeta sat on the floor right in front of the TV, whispering things to John, who snorted with laughter and hid his face. Rose and Kanaya had piled into one of the recliners to watch the show with a blanket pulled over themselves. There didn't look to be any movement going on beneath the blanket, but it was dark and difficult to say for sure. Tavros had claimed the other recliner, and Terezi and Karkat had settled in front of that one.

Sollux didn't want the weekend to end. It had certainly been a confusing twenty-four-hour period so far, but it had been good. He'd never felt closer to so many people in his life—and Eridan liked him. It was probably the least lonely he'd ever been.

_**END ACT 41.** _


	42. Act 42

In all the chaos that Saturday afternoon brought, no one noticed the hickey Sol had left on Eridan's neck except the two of them and Fef. It helped that almost immediately after showering, Eridan put on a collared shirt that half-hid the bruise.

Well, Cronus noticed it, too, but since he knew exactly how Eridan had come by it, he didn't comment on it. He had other questions for Eridan before he and Meenah took off that afternoon.

"So, uh, that girl you like," he said with a grin. "You tell her?"

"Shut up."

"No, seriously, I wanna know."

"It—fuck, I didn't like her all that much."

"But Sollux...?"

Eridan sighed. "Sol is a different story. I don't really... it's complicated, I guess."

"We've all been there," Cronus said reassuringly, affectionately mussing Eridan's hair—or trying to, anyway. Eridan had put his hair up again.

"Shut up."

Cronus shrugged. "So was this whole shindig worth it?"

"Yeah, it went pretty well."

"What was the occasion?"

"Occasion?" _You mean besides a huge spider-bitch who happens to be the mutual ex-girlfriend of four people here returning suddenly to our lives to torture us all, causing us to band together for moral support? Nothing, no occasion at all._

"Yeah. For the party."

"Uh. W-well... So there's this girl Vriska—"

"Serket?" Cronus asked suddenly, his expression growing extremely serious extremely quickly.

"Yeah—you know her?"

"She have a sister named Aranea?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Cronus leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossed his arms over his chest, and scowled. "I know Aranea. She was in my class in high school, not that she was there half the time."

"Neither were you," Eridan pointed out, who had been a freshman when Cronus was a senior.

"Yeah, for good fuckin' reason. I was with her."

Eridan blinked. "What?"

"Yeah, I know. Well, I guess you didn't know Aranea, but that gal was crazy. Manipulative little bitch—sharp as a tack, but she could hurt you worse. Anyway... few weeks before the end a' school, she broke up with me, said she never wanted to see me again, I was the worst thing to ever happen to her. It took me..." He sighed. "Shit, must a' been two years to recover. Lemme guess, Vriska did the same to a few a' these cats?"

Eridan nodded slowly. "John, Tav, Kan... me," he added quietly.

"She—what? When?"

"Senior year a' high school. We'd been datin' for a few months but never told anyone about it—she didn't want me to. Said her mom would kill her or somethin'. I asked her to prom an' she just laughed in my face... Like, I kind a' expected it since she was always a massive bitch to me, but it still hurt. I never even told Fef," he added quietly. "She didn't know about me an' Vris until like last week. Shit, I never told anyone about that, but she... she just transferred to our college out a' nowhere an' she like came up to me on Monday an' started harassin' me an' she brought it up like it was no big deal. So now I guess everyone knows."

"Sollux know?"

"Yeah. He was there when she showed up. He heard everythin' but... I don't know, he was just pissed at her."

"So I'm guessin' she did the same thing to the others. Hurtin' them an' makin' them feel like crap."

"Yeah, basically. So this thing was just a few people with a mutual ex gettin' together with some friends to commiserate."

"It's like Scott Pilgrim in reverse. Unless you're plannin' on formin' a league a' evil exes," Cronus half-joked.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure Vris wronged us all more than we did her."

"Pretty sure that's what Gideon Graves thought, too," Cronus pointed out. "You'd make a pretty good Gideon, actually."

"Fuck off. None of us actually want her back anymore, least a' all me."

"Yeah, you got Sollux now."

Eridan rolled his eyes, although a small smile threatened to light up his face.

"Well, anyway, Vriska probably did you a favor by cuttin' you loose. She sounds like a real piece a' work, just like her sister."

Eridan nodded. "Yeah, maybe, but it fuckin' destroyed me at the time."

"That, I don't doubt. I think Vriska probably took lessons from Aranea. It wouldn't shock me at all."

"She probably did."

Cronus nodded, glanced out the window to the front yard, and then looked back at Eridan. "Alright, little monster, Meenah wanted to leave here pretty soon, so we're takin' off. Behave yourselves tonight. Make sure you all get back for school tomorrow—an' clean up the damn basement before you leave."

"Yes, _Dad_ ," Eridan said sarcastically.

* * *

But his conversation with Cronus had left him with a feeling of unease. After he and Meenah left, he lingered in the kitchen, chewing absently on his lip.

Vriska hadn't talked about her sister all that much—only that she had one and that her name was Aranea. Cronus had never mentioned her either in all the time he said they dated. Eridan would have only known her for one year, but he'd never even thought about her since he'd barely known Vriska at the time.

Vriska definitely hadn't mentioned that her older sister and his older brother had a thing, but he strongly suspected she knew.

He swallowed, wishing he had something else to focus on. Had it been intentional, the way they'd targeted him and Cronus? It would have been an elaborate plan, and he didn't doubt that Vriska possessed the malice for something like that (and, by extension, Aranea), but he did doubt that Vriska had the patience. She'd waited three months to destroy him emotionally, but he really didn't think she had the capacity to wait three years.

Unless it was under Aranea's instruction. He didn't know anything about _her_ besides whatever Cronus told him. He wouldn't be too terribly surprised to find out that she'd instructed her sister to mess with her ex-boyfriend's younger brother, but he had no idea _why_. What would either of them gain by hurting them? It didn't make any sense.

"You awake?"

Eridan jerked around so fast, he nearly gave himself whiplash. "Y-yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, just a little distracted," he told Fef, rubbing the back of his neck.

Which immediately drew her eyes to the hickey on the front of his neck.

"Holy _glubbing_ Hell, Eridan, what the—is that—?" She charged forward, arms outstretched, and before he could say anything, she was tugging down his collar to get an eyeful of the mark Sol had left. "Oh, my _cod_ , did he really—?" She looked up at him, grinning her face off.

"Um." He grinned, slightly embarrassed but more pleased than anything. "Yeah. He did."

"Ooooooh, someone's got a boy _frond_!"

"W-well, not exactly."

Confusion replaced the giddy grin on her face. "What do you mean?"

"I mean... w-well, I like him an' I told him an', w-well, based on this—" here, he pointed to the hickey "—I'm assumin' he likes me too, but w-we hav-ven't really discussed much else in terms a' our actual relationship," he admitted. "It's probably gonna take me awhile to get used to likin' a guy, let alone datin' one. I never really contemplated it before, is all."

"I'm sure he'll be patient. You _are_ going to _glub_ with him about this, right?" she asked sternly.

"Yeah, a' course. We just didn't really get the chance to earlier."

"Why not?"

"Well, I told him I liked him an' then he kissed me an' then Cronus walked in, _again_ , an' shooed us out. That was when we came back to the pool."

"Oh." She thought it over for a moment. "I can probably come up with a _reel_ good distraction for everyone, allowing you two to casually sneak away—"

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't keep askin' you to act as a runner or a distraction. I should just be able to talk to him, right?"

"It's just beginning, though! It's okay to be nervous!"

Eridan bit his lip again. "I guess so. But I just wanna wait right now. Like... I'll talk to him tomorrow. Baby steps."

Feferi nodded. "Yeah. Baby steps are good."

* * *

Eridan blasted dubstep through the house shortly after Cronus and Meenah departed for good, leading Aradia to refer to him as "Gatsby" for the rest of the night. A few in their party danced raver-style for awhile, but they all grew hungry soon enough and they ordered food and put on HBO. After Nepeta passed around her bottle of Everclear, the plight of the Starks seemed a lot funnier, and they started playing a _Game of Thrones_ drinking game—"they" being Feferi, Dave, Nepeta, and John. Aradia and Equius were otherwise occupied and Rose and Kanaya were sharing a glass of wine.

Eridan kept biting his lip and glancing over at Sol, wondering if he should talk to him now. But then again, maybe that was a bad idea—it wasn't always about whatever was going on with them, after all. He felt like lately, it was all he thought about, and while there was a significant reason for that (that reason being the acceptance that he probably wasn't as straight as he thought he was), it couldn't really take up all of his conscious thought, could it?

Sol ended up falling asleep halfway through Season One anyway, slumping across the arm of the sofa. By that time, it was after eleven, and though he'd woken up fairly late that day, he'd also been awake late. Eridan didn't blame him at all for falling asleep and, in fact, reached over to rub his back. No one noticed that, either, except for Fef, who nudged him half-playfully, half-drunkenly, and gave him an overly-dramatic wink.

"Yeah, you get it," she joked, causing Dave to let out a manly giggle and stifle his laughter into a pillow.

"Shut up," Eridan replied, but he couldn't even pretend to be upset when Sol murmured something and switched from leaning against the arm of the couch to leaning against him.

* * *

When Sollux woke up next, it was all dark and everyone was asleep. He stretched and wondered why he'd woken up before realizing he had to pee, so he carefully disentangled himself from Eridan (he didn't know why he'd ended up drooling on Eridan's shirt, but the shorter boy was out cold) and picked his way over the sleeping forms of Aradia and Equius and Nepeta and John all snuggled together, passed Feferi and Dave at the other end of the couch, and crept by Rose and Kanaya in the recliner to get to the basement bathroom.

For the second night in a row, he paused by the door. There were noises from the bathroom, but not typical bathroom noises like a sink or a toilet flushing. It took him a few tired, sleepy seconds for him to realize those were sex noises he was hearing, and he straightened up, suddenly awake. _Who the fuck...?_ He took a mental head count from the TV room in the basement and was pretty sure he'd seen everyone, but apparently not.

He glanced back toward the bathroom door and groaned internally. He would solve the mystery of who was fucking in the basement bathroom later—he really needed to find one of the upstairs bathrooms and pee. Fortunately, he remembered where one on the main floor was and headed off to it instead.

When he came back to the basement, he counted who was there—eleven, including him. Two people were still missing, which made sense, considering when he drew close to the bathroom door again, he could still hear the sounds of sex from inside. He went back to the couch, waited a beat, and then snuggled up next to Eridan again, taking one last look around his cluster of friends to figure out who wasn't asleep right now.

Just before he drifted back off, he heard the bathroom door open and he managed to keep his eyes open long enough to see Terezi and Karkat reappear with half-embarrassed, half-satisfied grins on their faces, and she was fighting giggles. Both of them looked distinctly disheveled.


	43. Act 43

Sollux yawned and stretched his arms over his head, very nearly smacking Eridan in the face. Slowly, he disentangled himself from the other boy, who fell over onto the sofa and continued snoring. Apparently, he was a pretty heavy sleeper.

Sollux rubbed the bridge of his nose and groped for his glasses. Sometime last night, someone had probably woken up and taken off the glasses of everyone who wore them—him, Eridan, Terezi, Dave, Equius, John—and set them on the coffee table. That was nice, he supposed, especially considering he really didn't want to end up with broken glasses a week after Equius and his brother had made them, but it made him feel weird, too. It wasn't that he'd been touched—it was that he didn't know who had touched him.

Still, he'd slept surprisingly well last night. There was a deep satisfaction to waking up that morning that he rarely felt at home, and he wondered why.

Then his gaze fell on Terezi and Karkat sleeping under her teal blanket and, again, he wondered _why_. He knew they liked each other and everything, but he thought they were only friends. Apparently they were more than that, though, if they'd actually fucked in Eridan's bathroom.

 _Classy_ , he thought, as if he hadn't done worse with Karkat.

He picked his way around the bodies strewn on the floor, grabbed his duffel bag, and picked out a T-shirt he hadn't worn in the last two days, a black one with the Gemini symbol on it in yellow. It had come in a bunch of colors, but the black on yellow had spoken to him at the time, plus it reminded him of bees. It had been good enough for him.

Aradia had picked up a similar shirt, except with the Aries symbol in a dark red. She seldom wore it, though. She said she had nothing that went with it, which made Sollux roll his eyes and think, _Jeans!_ very loudly in his head.

Today, he was the first one awake, so he slunk to the kitchen to see what kind of food he could eat that didn't involve dirtying up two hundred dishes or something crazy like yesterday morning. He knew he had to find some tea, first—he was pretty sure he hadn't had anything the morning before and he had a headache just thinking about it. He had gotten halfway through searching through the cupboards when Nepeta, blinking sleepily with her short hair tousled and her pajama pants—they looked _massive_ on her, had they been Equius's at some point?—nearly falling off her butt, wandered into the kitchen and yawned. Sollux wondered if she practiced at looking that catlike or if it just came naturally. She appeared to have unusually sharp teeth.

"Morning," she said, scratching her side. "Did you sleep good?"

"Pretty good," Sollux said. He closed one cupboard and opened another, locating a mug to use for tea. "Kinda weirded out when I heard KK and TZ going at it, but—"

"Going at what?" Nepeta asked suddenly, looking immediately more awake.

"At... um..." He set down the mug in his hand, made a circle with his thumb and index finger, and put his other index finger through the circle.

Her eyes went wide, and for a second, he was worried she was about to attack him.

She didn't, but she _did_ pounce on him, bunching her fists in his shirt and dragging him down to look right into her eyes. She was over a foot shorter than him, so it was awkward. She was surprisingly strong, though. "They did _not_ ," she said, and he _still_ couldn't tell how she felt about it. Her eyes were still wide and her voice was a frantic whisper.

Unable to suppress the feeling that he was taking his own life in his hands, he nodded. "Unless their idea of a good time is making sex noises in a bathroom while everyone else is asleep..." He let his voice trail off, and she let go of his shirt.

Suddenly, she was jumping in a circle. "That is too _purr_ fect! I can't believe it! Are you sure it was them?"

"They were the only two awake at the time except me," Sollux confirmed.

She giggled and began to spin around him excitedly.

He quickly became dizzy watching her, so he closed his eyes before taking an abrupt step to the side. "So. You're wide-awake now, I'm guessing."

"Yep!" She hopped up onto a chair and perched there. "I had a pretty good night of sleep, too, but uninterrupted by the canoodling of our _fur_ iends," she joked.

"That's good," Sollux said, feeling awkward. He located a tin of gourmet tea and nearly dropped his forehead to the counter. These rich people couldn't have tea in bags like normal people, could they?

"Speaking of canoodling," Nepeta said suddenly, innocently, and he had a feeling he knew where this was going, "Mr. Am _purr_ a has a very interesting mark on his neck. _You_ wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

This time, he actually _did_ drop his head to the counter, with a loud _thump_ that was more sound than fury but still hurt his noggin. "Um." He turned to face her, feeling his face heating up. "Maybe."

She stuffed the sleeves of her hoodie into her mouth to stifle her giggles. Once she stopped laughing, she withdrew her sleeves and straightened up. "Well, good! I'm glad! I mean, making out be _claws_ of a dare is one thing, but actually, legitimately kissing is about a hundred times better!"

He rubbed the back of his neck, grinning in spite of himself. "Uh. Yeah, it is." He shelved the box of tea but remembered where it came from. He'd ask Eridan or Feferi, whichever one of them woke up first, what exactly to do with loose tea leaves. He had a feeling that he wouldn't like it, though—somehow, he imagined that smothering gourmet tea in honey would be seen as a sacrilege.

His stomach growled, but he hadn't seen anything simple like cereal in the kitchen throughout his searching. It was pretty apparent that the Ampora kids probably didn't spend too much time here anymore. He recognized the signs of an "empty nest"—neither he nor Mituna lived at home anymore, after all. All the teenager-friendly food like snacks and cereal and Hot Pockets and microwave meals vanished from the kitchen, the senior pictures on the walls only resembled their subjects in an abstract, passive way—apparently, Eridan had started dyeing that streak in his hair purple only after high school, because it was white-blond in his senior picture—all the recorded TV was shows like _Law & Order_ and _Wheel of Fortune_ , and everywhere, signs that parents were trying to find new hobbies now that they didn't have children to look after.

Long story short: unless he wanted to bust out the frying pan and test his next-to-nonexistent cooking skills, he would have to wait until someone who actually _could_ cook woke up. He'd offer to do the dishes, of course—he didn't want to, but if someone was cooking for him, he'd clean up afterward.

But first, someone actually had to get up here and _cook_. He could do basic food like grilled cheese, and he supposed French toast wasn't completely out of the question (that would be easy and he could still smother it in honey, strange looks from Dave be damned), but he was also very lazy when it came to food. He preferred to expend his energies on other things, like school and adamantly denying he had problems.

Nepeta had rested her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "So..." she said in a way that was meant to be deliberately leading.

"Yeah?" he asked, only half-paying attention. He'd opened the fridge and begun to scan the contents thereof.

"This is probably a dumb question, but how much stock do you put in astrology?"

"Not much." He crouched down and opened the bottom drawer. There was fruit there, but the day he willingly ate an orange was the day the world ended.

"Didn't think so. I don't really, not much, but there _are_ some things that are a bit eerily uncanny."

"Like?"

"Even before I saw your shirt, I could tell you were a Gemini. You have the attitude."

"Great."

"And Karkat's a Cancer—he's tough on the outside, but soft and squishy inside. He really cares about John and Dave, for example."

"What about AA?"

"Pretty sure she's an Aries."

Sollux nodded. "She is. Born April sixteenth."

Nepeta grinned. "And Eridan is a _claw_ sic Aquarius."

"Okay, and?" He straightened up and pushed aside a neatly-stacked column of Tupperware containers with perfectly-portioned leftovers inside them. He felt incredibly awkward suddenly, realizing he was going through a stranger's fridge.

"And... well, like I said, I don't swear by astrology or anything, but those who do, say that Gemini and Aquarius are made _fur_ each other."

Sollux blushed again and closed the refrigerator door. "Ah. So is this your way of saying ED and I are meant to be or something? Because no one can tell something like that from one kiss or one day even. Besides, I don't believe in that soulmate crap anyway." It would have been nice to believe that he could have that kind of connection with someone, but he knew the world didn't work that way. He'd be lucky if he could find someone who could tolerate him and who he could tolerate in return for six months, let alone for the rest of his life.

In a romantic way, anyway. He already knew that Aradia would be his best friend for a good long time. He knew that kind of bond was possible. But true love was crap.

"Well, he seems to like you a lot," Nepeta said, her tone gently chiding.

"That's not true love, that's hormones."

"I can tell the dif _fur_ ence."

"Apparently not," Sollux snapped before he could stop himself.

Nepeta gave him a condescending look, but to his surprise, she didn't storm off. "Look, I can tell you've probably been fucked over a lot, right? People you thought were going to be there left. People you cared about, people you loved as more than friends. But that doesn't mean everyone will do the same. Some people can be devoted to the right person." She straightened up. "He's been hurt too, you know. That's why we're all here, remember? He remembers what that feels like—I can see it on his face. He wouldn't willingly do the same to you."

"That, I don't doubt. But unwillingly? Maybe. Up until Friday, he insisted he was straight, and then yesterday he admitted that he's basically gay for me. I don't know." His voice softened. "I'd like to see where it goes, but I don't want to expect too much from it right now. He even admitted already that he doesn't know for sure. So I can't imagine that everything will be perfect right from the beginning when any day he could turn around and tell me he was wrong and he doesn't actually like me like he thought he did."

"Anyone could do that, though. Equius could do that to Aradia, or vice versa. Gamzee and Tavros. Rose and Kanaya."

"There's a difference between 'I don't like you because of you' and 'I don't like you because you're a guy and I'm not into that.' The latter hurts a lot more, trust me."

"Personal experience?"

"Yeah. And I'm getting myself into the same mess again. Except this time, I like him more, so it'll hurt worse. "

"But you do like him."

"Yeah." Sollux sighed. "I do."

There was a few moments of silence before Nepeta got up from her seat and gave him a hug. "That's good. He probably likes you just as much, but he doesn't know what to do about it. Just let him have time—you've had awhile to accept your sexuality. He's two days in to admitting that he's not as straight as he thought he was. I think if you let him figure this out, it'll go really well, okay?"

He nodded slowly. He really did like Eridan. The stupid, hopeful part of him wanted this to work, but he knew he couldn't allow himself to hope too much—not right now.

But he definitely needed to talk to Eridan, and soon.


	44. Act 44

Most of Sunday was spent in a flurry of cleaning up, throwing clothing haphazardly in duffel bags, and shoving the furniture back where it belonged. Eridan's parents must have called the housekeeper and told her not to come in while they were there, because he didn't see a sign of her at all, but that was probably for the best. It wasn't like he didn't know how to do laundry, after all—he washed his clothes before packing them up and told everyone else they could do the same if they wanted. Most of them had swim suits they'd washed the day before anyway.

Around noon, after he woke up, he got the feeling that Sol wanted to talk to him since just about every time he looked at him, Sol was looking right back. Sol would look away quickly, and it confused and irritated Eridan; they weren't in high school—if he had something to say, he could say it.

Then again, he was feeling pretty apprehensive himself, if he had to admit it. He wasn't sure what Sol wanted to say to him, but his reluctance was making Eridan nervous.

Before he left, he went up to his room to look around and check to see if there was anything else in his room he wanted to bring back with him. At first glance, there was nothing, but he looked closer and spotted his iPod on the windowsill and crossed the room to pocket it. As he did so, he heard footsteps behind him and turned around, and a surge of nerves coursed through him. There was Sol standing in the doorway, looking as anxious as he felt and looking around the room, anywhere but at Eridan. Still Eridan chanced a small smile. "Hey, Sol. W-what's up?"

Sol didn't answer his question directly. He simply looked around for a few more moments and nodded slightly, as if in answer to another question that hadn't been asked. "So this is your room?"

"Heh. Yeah. It didn't look like this w-when I w-was still liv-vin' here, though. It used to be a lot messier, but I got better at that."

Sol took a few steps inside to better take in the décor, and Eridan suddenly realized how stupid all the posters and high-school-era photography still tacked to his walls must have looked. He really was the pathetic hipster agenda personified, wasn't he? He certainly hadn't set out to become the quintessential hipster kid, but a glance in the mirror—dyed hair with an artful streak, thick glasses that he needed but nevertheless only added to the persona, three days' worth of scruff on his face, button-down purple plaid flannel shirt, dark jeans that hugged his legs through the knees and only gave a bit of extra room below, obscure-label vegan shoes, a nearly-perpetual condescending expression—confirmed that he'd definitely achieved it. That was before he took into account the four different vintage cameras he owned (and took care of well, something that was possible when you were rich enough), the MacBook Pro and Mac desktop, and his coffee addiction. At least the majority of the music on his iPod wasn't obscure hipster singer-songwriter groups and Death Cab For Cutie. Still, it was enough to make him horribly self-conscious.

Sol didn't look incredibly bothered or repelled by it, though. He surveyed the walls and bookcase with a simple curiosity one would expect from being in the bedroom of someone they were romantically interested in. That thought—that Sol was possibly, probably romantically interested in him—made him want to bury his face in his hands and curl up into a giddy ball on his bed, but he restrained himself. He definitely had a bit of a crush on Sol, and it wasn't even close to being funny.

"Witchcraft?" Sol asked abruptly, leaning down to scan the titles of the books on Eridan's shelves.

"Uh. Heh. Yeah. W-well, more like W-Wicca."

"There's a difference?" Sol looked at him, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah. Wicca is more of an amalgamation of several different faiths—it has some elements of traditional witchcraft, some Eastern philosophies, some Greek and Roman stuff, an' it's relatively modern. It's really always changin' with people addin' more ideas as it progresses. It's also really ritual-oriented an' stuff, makin' sure you're doin' things like spells an' stuff with the right tools an' on the right day an' stuff like that. Witchcraft is generally a lot simpler than all that, a lot more to do with respectin' gods an' stuff an' more into nature." Eridan cleared his throat, looking sheepish. He'd been asked that question a lot and he was surprised to realize he still had the spiel still pretty much memorized.

Sol blinked at him. "Okay. I didn't follow any of that."

Eridan sighed, but it came out as a laugh. "Just... trust me. There's a difference."

"And your parents were cool with you just... studying witch—Wicca?"

He nodded. "My parents are kind a'... well, their philosophy is that if you tell a kid he can't do somethin', he's gonna want to do it that much more, especially a teenager. So they let me study it. They said that as long as I wasn't sacrificin' chickens or messin' around with Ouija boards an' the Necronomicon, they were fine with it."

Sol half-grinned. "So you never sacrificed a chicken?"

"Nah. I could never seem to locate a live one."

He actually flat-out laughed at that, and Eridan couldn't help but smile at the fact that Sol was laughing and he'd _made_ him laugh. It was a nice feeling, one that flooded him with warmth. Once Sol finished laughing, he asked, "So do you still practice Wicca?"

"Nah. No time anymore. Never found a coven around here, either—shocking, I know. No Wicca practitioners near Los Angeles, go figure. At least, none that wanted some eighteen-year-old poser involved with them." Eridan gave a self-deprecating smile. "Not that I blame them now. I was kind of a little shit."

" _Was_?" Sol asked with a grin and a quirked eyebrow.

"Hey, fuck you. That was uncalled-for." Eridan spared a second to grin. "So I don't really have a religion anymore. My mom's Jewish an' my dad's Protestant, but they kinda left the whole religious thing up to me an' Cro. They're big on the whole not forcing their beliefs on people thing."

"Wow. That's really cool, actually. My mom is agnostic, but my dad..." Sol seemed to freeze for a second before shaking his head. "Never mind."

"No, what about your dad?" Eridan asked, genuinely curious, but Sol just shook his head again, harder.

"I don't want to talk about him right now," he murmured, staring at the carpeting.

Eridan bit his and nodded, letting it go. He really wanted to know what Sol had been about to say, though.

"Right. Well. Um, anyway." Sollux rubbed his arm nervously. "Look. I get that the whole liking a guy thing is probably weird for you, and that's fine. I... um, if you need time or whatever, that's fine. I don't want you feel like I'm gonna make you do anything you don't want to do or, like, do anything you're not ready for. And anyway, it's been a couple years since I had any semblance of a relationship at all and _that_ ended horribly so this is actually a little weird for me, too. Like, I don't even know how relationships are supposed to work or whatever—not that this is, like, an actual relationship or something; I don't even know what you'd call it but anyway, I just... well, anyway, this has been sufficiently awkward so I'll just leave now." He turned to go, feeling like a total idiot and not even daring to look up at Eridan as he'd spoken. He just felt awkward all over.

Then a hand settled on his arm, keeping him from leaving, and when he looked up, Eridan was gazing at him unblinkingly. "Wait," he said, "just wait. You're not even gonna let me answer?"

"Sorry," Sollux muttered. "I... I don't know. I guess I thought maybe you wouldn't want to say anything."

"Well, I do. So just hang on a second, okay?" Eridan gave him a small smile and dropped his hand, although Sollux wished he hadn't. It was nice to have even that small amount of physical contact between them. He wasn't generally a very touchy person—Aradia hugged him from time to time, as did Terezi, but for the most part, he preferred to not be touched—but for some reason, Eridan was the exception.

"Okay."

"Okay." Eridan nodded. "Well, you're right about the first part—liking a guy _is_ pretty fuckin' weird for me, but I've dealt with weird an' weirder before. It's a different kind a' weird, I guess. It changed basically everythin', you know? An', like, I don't really know how I'd label _this_ , you know? It doesn't really feel like anythin' yet. Like, what have we done? Mack on each other a couple a' times an' get caught by my brother both times."

"Good thing he's not here anymore," Sollux said without thinking, and then nearly smacked his forehead. Eridan grinned.

"Why, Sol, are you thinkin' a' mackin' on me again?"

Sollux flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. True, the thought wasn't often far from his mind, but he hadn't realized how close to the surface it had been. "Not at all."

"You're a' awful liar."

"Only when I'm not trying."

Eridan's grin stayed firmly in place. "I'll keep that in mind. Anyway." His smile slipped, replaced by a more serious expression. "In regards to your other concern, the one about not wantin' me to feel like I gotta do somethin' I don't wanna... That's not gonna happen. I don't do anythin' I don't wanna do. Just... well, fuck, Sol, I'm a bit nervous about the whole thin', okay? So, yeah, I guess I'm gonna need some time to get used to this. But as weird as it sounds, I do actually like you. So I guess we'll just have to see where this goes, huh?"

Sollux gave him a small, nervous smile. "Yeah."

"You should come over tomorrow after school."

Sollux very nearly protested on the grounds of Cronus's nearly assured presence (his track record so far was two for two, and Sollux didn't like those odds), but then remembered that Eridan still wanted to continue their stupid prank war. With access to Eridan's home, there would be ample opportunity to lay nefarious traps for the little douche that he hadn't had before. So as he started wondering where he could buy a ridiculous amount of toothpaste, he nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Sounds good."

Eridan grinned again, and without missing a beat, he pulled Sollux against his chest and kissed him. It was different from the other times, with less of an edge; it was gentler, easier, as though Eridan wasn't trying to push this too far right now, but it was still enough to drive every thought that _wasn't_ Eridan out of Sollux's mind, including the toothpaste question.

He balled his hands into fists at his sides, unsure if it was okay for him to touch Eridan. He wanted to, wanted to run his hands up Eridan's sides, wanted to cup his cheeks and kiss back, harder and more intensely, but as he heard a thump from downstairs, he became acutely aware that the bedroom door was wide open and anyone could run up the stairs and get a good look at the two of them making out. He didn't know if Eridan was fine with that or if he didn't realize the door was still open.

And then Eridan deepened the kiss, one hand going to the back of Sollux's neck and the other arm wrapping around his waist, and Sollux stopped caring. Their glasses clacking together, his fingers traced along the roots of Eridan's hair, stiff with gel but still somehow soft, down his neck, over the line of his jaw (here, Eridan let out a faint moan and seemed to tremble slightly), down to his collarbone. Sollux only tore his mouth away from Eridan's to kiss and finally suck on the hollow of his throat and run his tongue over Eridan's clavicle, pushing the collar of his shirt aside, and the shorter boy ran his fingers through Sollux's hair, his head tipping back to allow Sollux better access. "Fuck, Sol," he murmured, definitely trembling now, "you're really fuckin' good at that."

Sollux wanted to back him up to the bed, shove him down, strip them both, spread him open, and fuck him as hard as he could. Eridan would make the most delicious sounds in bed, he probably wouldn't let go of Sollux, and hearing his name on Eridan's lips might drive him crazy. Sollux unconsciously bit down on Eridan's collarbone, and Eridan murmured an obscenity and dug his fingers into Sollux's scalp. The taller boy had to remind himself that they were trying to leave soon, the bedroom door was wide open, _and_ Eridan probably didn't have any lube and there was no way he was doing this without lubricant, especially not for Eridan's first time, but it took almost thirty seconds for him to rein in his impulses and slow down, gently pulling himself back.

"We should probably get back down there," he murmured, straightening his bicolored classes.

Eridan nodded slowly, numbly, his large purple eyes seemingly larger than normal behind his own glasses and his pupils so dilated, there was only a thin ring of color around them. Sollux suddenly felt like Eridan could see everything he'd ever done or ever would do.

As he led Eridan out of his room and down the stairs, though, he realized it was the first time they hadn't been interrupted while making out, and he felt himself smiling.


	45. Act 45

Everyone kept the same transportation configurations that they'd had on the way up to Eridan's place. After the remainder of the booze (all of the PBR had been consumed, along with the entirety of Rose's bottle of wine, most of Kanaya's vodka, a good portion of Aradia and Tavros's tequila, every bottle of Equius's Dos Equis and Sollux's mead, a little less than half of Feferi's whiskey, and about three shots of Dave's Jagermeister) had been put in the back of Eridan's BMW, everyone else loaded up the cars and set out. The mood was considerably lighter on the way back home since, surprisingly, everyone had had a good time. Eridan hadn't exactly expected the party weekend to be a failure, but he'd expected considerably more drama.

Admittedly, Sol running out on Friday night (Saturday morning? Whatever it was) had been fairly dramatic, but they'd managed to keep it contained. As far as he knew, only the two of them, Cronus, Meenah, Fef, and Aradia knew. All in all, with fifteen people involved, the fact that only five were aware of what had transpired was pretty impressive.

Still, he was pleased overall with how everything had turned out. He was still a bit confused about where exactly things stood between him and Sol, but that wasn't Sol's fault—it was his own. He knew Sol liked him and he knew he liked Sol, and he also knew he was definitely hesitant to apply the term "boyfriends" to their relationship (they hadn't been on any actual dates; they weren't even close to dating. All they'd done was make out a few times and established that, yes, Eridan actually did like kissing Sol and definitely wouldn't be averse to making out with him again, and when he was kissing Sol, he knew without a sliver of a doubt that he wanted it to go further. He wasn't sure how much further—there was some unfathomable dark end game he couldn't quite see but he'd know it when it happened—but he knew that just kissing Sol like this and being constantly interrupted by other people was horribly unsatisfying. He could also tell that no matter how many bruises Sol left on his skin, how much he seemed to be letting himself go, he was always really holding himself back, waiting for Eridan to tell him to stop.

The crazy thing was, when Sol's lips were on him, he didn't _want_ him to stop. Eridan had a partially scientific (but mostly sexual) interest in seeing where things would go. He had no qualms about slamming the brakes on things if he didn't like the way they were heading (three months dating Vriska and three subsequent years alone had cured him of that), but he wasn't entirely convinced that he _wouldn't_ like where things were heading. Strangely, after he'd broken that one barrier with Sol, it seemed like what followed wouldn't be half bad. He didn't know exactly what it had been to make him refuse to even entertain the notion of his possibility of his own bisexuality, but it was gone now, and... well, he definitely liked Sol. It really seemed like there was something between them, something he wanted to explore, and he was pretty sure Sol felt the same.

It was all so confusing, though, and it was giving him a headache. At this point, he was just grateful that Sol was willing to not force the issue, because he was right—it was going to take him some time to really accept it. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what had caused Sol's unexpected coolness in not forcing him into anything—or, really, who had caused it. Even if Sol didn't say it, Eridan could tell that someone had hurt _him_ before, too.

* * *

Sollux had decided that Nepeta was unusually freaky.

Somehow, the catlike girl had figured out that something had gone down between him and Eridan. He didn't know _how_ she knew, but she did, because the moment they settled into the back of Equius's truck (Nepeta again insisted that Aradia sit up front, and this time, Aradia didn't argue at all; Sollux saw her and Equius holding hands on the middle seat), she whipped off her blue cat hat and grinned at him.

"What?" he asked, feeling like a cornered mouse.

"What did you do with him?" she demanded eagerly, leaning forward.

Aradia whipped around in her seat. "Who did what with who now?"

Sollux groaned. "Um. So ED and I talked a bit."

"Where? I didn't see you guys for like twenty minutes," Aradia observed.

"Um. His room."

Aradia and Nepeta's eyes both went wide and even Equius seemed to be peering at him in the rearview mirror. Nepeta nearly flat-out pounced on him. " _What did you guys do?_ " she asked, shoving her face right into his.

"Nepeta," Equius started warningly, but she cut him off.

"Shoosh! Tell me," she demanded of Sollux.

"We just talked! Mostly," he couldn't resist adding, a small smile playing across his face.

"Mostly? _Mostly?!_ " Nepeta squeaked.

"I may have... macked on him a bit."

He was pretty sure Nepeta's eyes were about to boggle out of her head. " _What—?!_ " She couldn't get out any more than that since Equius reached into the back seat, lifted her off Sollux by her jacket, and twisted around just far enough to deposit her on the actual seat. Miraculously, the Suburban never swerved for a second.

"Um. Sollux. Is there something you want to tell us?" Aradia asked, sounding calm and cool but looking like she was trying not to freak out.

"It—it was fine," Sollux said. "We just talked about, like, boundaries and stuff and we're basically on the same page with that. So that's cool."

"Good, very good. Talking is good. Boundaries are good."

"Can you stop?"

"Yes, stopping is good. I'll stop now. Good." Aradia grinned at him.

"And then you macked on him?" Nepeta asked eagerly.

"A little bit. Um, it was no big deal." _That_ was a straight-up lie and he had a feeling Nepeta saw right through it. He was just grateful that no one had caught sight of the new hickey he'd left on Eridan, although he'd purposely left it where a shirt could easily hide it. He'd forgotten to ask about his opinion on hickey placement, although it was pretty obvious that Eridan wasn't opposed to receiving them. Still, that was probably something important that should have come up by now but halfway through what were intended to be serious conversations, they both ended up getting distracted.

They should have probably had a talk about that, too.

But they'd talked enough for Sollux to see that Eridan really wasn't freaking out about this as much as Sollux had expected him to be. He actually seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, all things considered. It was reassuring—the imminent concern that Eridan was about to do a majestic pirouette off the handle was gone for the moment. Sollux still wasn't convinced that things would have a fairy-tale ending (in fact, he was sure that with their volatile personalities, there was a distinct possibility that everything would blow up in their faces), but he hoped that, if things between them fizzled out and Eridan realized he didn't like Sollux as much as he thought he did, they could at least stay friends. Maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if they kept talking, if Eridan didn't shun him like...

Sollux mentally shook himself. That had been two years ago. It was time to let it go. They'd moved on, after all—as much as was possible, anyway. Honestly, he hadn't thought about it much, but with Eridan dragging up such a similar situation, it was all coming back to him. He hated being the one bi-curious guys messed with to determine if they actually liked guys or not, but somehow, this was the second time he'd ended up doing it, and now, all he could do was hope this didn't end as badly as last time.

* * *

"So. Vriska tomorrow," Rose said softly, cradling Kanaya in her arms in the back seat of Eridan's car. "You going to be ready for her?"

Kanaya contemplated the question before nodding. "I believe this weekend has been emotionally fortifying, for all of us. It was a very good idea, Eridan."

Eridan looked at her in the rearview mirror. "Thanks. It didn't end up as fail-tastic as I thought it would," he joked.

"You anticipated the failure of your own soiree?" Kanaya asked incredulously.

"Well... not the failure, exactly. Just... a lot more negative shit goin' down. People freakin' out an' cryin' or throwin' hissy fits or passin' out drunk, I guess. I'm actually really surprised none a' that happened." Except what happened with Sollux, but again, that could have been handled a lot worse.

"Yes, I expected far more inebriated shenanigans," Rose admitted. She gently combed her fingers through Kanaya's hair, and the shorter girl's eyes languidly drifted closed as she snuggled into Rose's chest.

She enjoyed this, being held by someone who wouldn't just abandon her in two weeks for someone just as emotionally vulnerable as herself. Vriska had made her forget what a good relationship was supposed to be like, but somehow, Rose was able to help her forget about Vriska. Looking back now, it didn't seem so bad. First and foremost, Rose had been able to help her realize that what Vriska had done to her hadn't been her fault. Kanaya had known that Vriska was emotionally manipulative, but it had taken Rose to help her truly understand it. There was a difference between knowing and understanding, and that difference had Kanaya feeling happier than she'd been in months.

Even better, the weekend had driven home for her that she actually had friends. Aradia had been her friend for awhile, but now she'd bonded with Terezi and Sollux and even found new friends in Karkat and John and Nepeta and Tavros. She saw now how wide her support network really was, and it made it easier for her to breathe.

One little fact that she'd kept to herself, kept even from Aradia, was how out-of-control she felt whenever Vriska bounced away from her and on to John or, previously, Tavros. Sometimes, she'd felt so alone, so out of control of her own life, that she'd contemplated suicide. She never mentioned it to anyone, knowing that breathing a word of it would land her in a psychiatrist's office or a hospital, and she hadn't wanted that to happen since she always felt afraid of taking that final step; she knew she wouldn't do it, but she'd thought about that, and she'd kept that shoved down because she didn't want anyone to know just how badly Vriska hurt her, just how fucked-up it was that the girl had her nearly suicidal and she still took her back when Vriska got tired of John.

Maybe one day, she'd tell Aradia or someone else how terrified she'd been that one day, she wouldn't be afraid of dying anymore, that the fear of dying would finally be outweighed by the fear of hurting, that she'd snap and want more than anything for Vriska to truly understand just how much she hurt people. That day wasn't today, though. It was still too new, this feeling that she was getting better, and even though she promised herself that she'd never let Vriska back in again and this time she meant it, she still needed to accept that it was truly over.

But that's what she had friends for. Aradia would help her. Rose would help her. Sollux would help her. She was too smart to think that she'd never be that depressed again, but she hoped that, at least next time, she'd be strong enough to say something more than, "I'm hurt and you know why so I won't talk about it."

Rose continued stroking her hair and Kanaya smiled sleepily to herself. Now that she thought about it, she'd never felt this comfortable with Vriska. Aside from the very first time they'd started dating, she didn't feel like she could truly let her guard down around her. Rose understood her just as intrinsically as Vriska did, but Rose never used it to hurt her—only to help her.

Kanaya was grateful for that. She grabbed Rose's free hand and squeezed it, and she heard the blonde giggle softly before continuing to talk to Eridan, but Kanaya was far too entranced to bother trying to hear what they were saying, and as she drifted off to the steady rocking of the car and Rose's ceaseless fingers threading through her hair, she hoped that she could at least look forward to feeling this happy in ten years.


	46. Act 46

Sollux was the first person in Equius's truck to be dropped off. Aradia hopped out long enough to give him a hug, and then she scampered right back in. His backpack slung over his shoulder, he waved as the Suburban pulled away from the curb in front of his apartment building. Once it was out of sight, he turned to look up at the building before he walked inside.

The lobby was deserted, so he adjusted his backpack and fished his iPod out of his back pocket. He paused for a moment to put on his headphones and hit play before he pushed the button for the elevator and waited. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone walking toward him and he turned his head ever so slightly to see who it was. For a second, he thought it was Dave, until he realized that this guy was dressed differently than Dave had been when they left, and he really didn't think Feferi would have stopped just for Dave to execute a wardrobe change. Plus, this guy was wearing different sunglasses. This was probably Dave's brother (Sollux remembered Dave mentioning him at some point), but if Dave had ever mentioned his name, Sollux didn't remember it.

Dave's brother stood next to him, waiting for the elevator, and Sollux wondered if Dave had already made it back, and what about everyone else? He'd had a fun weekend, albeit a draining one, and he wasn't exactly in a hurry to see anyone just yet, but he did wonder.

Sollux was relieved to discover that Dave's brother seemed pretty similar to Dave in that he didn't try to force awkward elevator conversation, especially when Sollux was clearly listening to music and had no fucks to give.

The elevator bumped to a stop on his floor and he went down the hall to his apartment, fit the key into the lock, and went inside. He flipped on the light, set down his backpack, and looked around.

Nothing looked different than how he'd left it, but it all felt different somehow. Maybe it was because of how fundamentally one weekend had changed everything. On Friday about this time, he'd been regretting the decision to agree to go to Eridan's stupid house party—who knew that forty-eight hours later, he'd actually be glad he went?

Then he remembered that Eridan had actually invited him over to his place after school the next day, and he couldn't help grinning. Eridan was actually trying to involve Sollux in his life. Already, it was more promising than last time, plus if it continued, he'd be able to plan bigger and better pranks. That reminded him that he still had a metric ton of toothpaste to pick up, so he emptied out his backpack on his bed (mentally vowing to sort out the mess later, but right now he didn't have time), slung it back over his shoulders, and headed out to bike to the nearest Rite-Aid to stock up on as much Colgate as he could carry.

* * *

After dropping off Tavros in front of Karkat and Gamzee's apartment building, Eridan finally headed back home. He had no idea what he was going to do with the rest of the booze in his trunk, but he had a solid three months before he turned twenty-one and he wasn't sure that a lot of this would survive until then. Worst-case scenario, he supposed, he could have Cronus bring it back up to the apartment and they could drink it. Ideally, he should have had everyone take their booze with them (Nepeta had taken her Everclear, but that was because it was actually hers that she'd brought from home), but he hadn't thought about it until after he'd dropped Rose and Kanaya off at the Lalondes' house.

It was just him now. He pulled into the second of two parking spaces for Cronus's apartment (Cro's boatlike car was parked in the other one), hopped out, and grabbed his bag out of the trunk. He paused for a few moments, staring at the alcohol back there before sending a text. _hey kan its eridan do you wwant the rest a this vvodka an if not can i havve it_

Vodka, he figured, would be better than tequila or Feferi's whiskey. The one time he'd had Jagermeister, it made him throw up—it was too sweet and he hated the taste of licorice anyway, and that's exactly what it tasted like: black licorice. Vodka was his best option.

Kanaya and Rose must not have been doing anything too serious, because Kanaya's response came within a few minutes. _Go Ahead. I Have No Immediate Need Of Alcohol. The Lalondes' Home Is Well-Stocked On That Front._

Eridan raised an eyebrow, put the quarter-full bottle of vodka in his bag, and slammed the trunk of his car closed.

To his utter lack of surprise, Cronus had the TV on when he walked in. The elder Ampora had his feet up on the coffee table and he was buzzing through a box of Cheez-Its. Eridan couldn't tell what show his brother was watching, but it was in black-and-white and there was the TV Land logo in the corner. He stood there in the doorway for a moment, just looking in and wondering if Cronus had turned off his brain—he couldn't smell any weed, but he was pretty sure the smell of Cheez-Its would overpower marijuana—when, still watching the television, Cronus asked, "You gonna stand there all day or are you gonna close the damn door?"

Eridan closed the door and slunk across the room, crossing in front of the TV momentarily. He was nearly to his room when Cronus said, "You have a good weekend?"

"You were there for most a' it," Eridan said. "You would know."

Cronus finally looked away from the television, and Eridan couldn't quite read the look on his face. "Yeah, I was there. An' thank God I was, or you might still be out there lookin' for your boyfriend."

"Sol's comin' over tomorrow. Don't be a dick to him."

"I'm nothin' if not angelic to all a' your friends." Cronus grinned. "Speakin' a' which, you need me to get you condoms?"

"Jesus fuck, Cro! I'm not _fuckin'_ him!" Face turning red, Eridan darted into his room and slammed the door behind him. Cronus's muffled laughter floated into his room from the living room, and Eridan dropped his bag and sank to the floor, his back against the door. Across the room, the empty fish tank bubbled merrily, sending waves of light across the darkened walls and making Eridan feel like he was completely underwater. This time tomorrow, Sol would be here, in this room with him. Eridan had no idea what they were going to do besides make out (presumably), but he knew that with Cronus in the next room, that would probably be about all they did. They could watch a movie on Eridan's computer or something, unless one of them had a bunch of homework to do. He hoped that wouldn't be the case, though.

Dinner. They'd have to get dinner. They could eat dinner while they watched a movie and hope Cronus didn't decide it would be fun to interrupt them. Eridan would have to lock the door. He was actually surprised that Cronus hadn't found some way to appear in his bedroom and bother them before they left the house that afternoon. Now that he was actually here, though, Eridan was pretty sure that Cronus would be making at least one intrusion the next evening.

He glanced at his nightstand. He was pretty sure things wouldn't progress past sloppy makeouts tomorrow, but what if they did? The idea of actually sleeping with Sol made him nervous. It wasn't that he didn't necessarily want to—it was just that sleeping with another guy was something he'd never done before. It was like skydiving or going to college: he'd heard mixed reviews and he didn't know how he was going to feel when it was all over.

He bit his lip and stared up at the fish tank again. It would either happen or it wouldn't, and all he could do right now was wait.

* * *

Sollux should have felt really bad about spending a hundred dollars on toothpaste when a grand total of none of it would actually be used to clean teeth, but he couldn't summon the energy to care. It would be used for a better cause: pranking the hipster douche who, for some reason, liked making out with him. He had to smile at that.

He shoveled the twenty-five or so tubes of toothpaste into his backpack and sailed out of the drugstore, feeling a smug sense of satisfaction. Eridan wouldn't know what hit him.

He pedaled back to his apartment as fast as he could, locked his bike up, and headed inside. It had been warm most of the weekend, but it was starting to turn a bit cool with the impending arrival of Halloween in a few days. He zipped up his hoodie as he went inside, shoving his hands in his pockets and wiggling his shoulders to readjust his backpack. The boxes that the tubes of toothpaste were in poked awkwardly into his back, and he wondered how he was going to get it all from his place to school to Eridan's place all in one piece tomorrow while his books jostled around in there as well. Since he planned to take all the tubes out of the package before tomorrow, the tubes ran the risk of bursting in his backpack, so he was going to have to put them in bags and find some way to muffle the sound, lest Eridan's suspicions be aroused. Cotton balls in two gallon-sized Ziploc bags would probably work (he hoped, otherwise he would have a toothpaste-covered cotton ball mess to deal with, but at least the mess would be in plastic bags and not on his books), but his backpack would still probably bulge awkwardly. He was going to have to think of some way to keep Eridan from noticing.

_hey aa are you bu2y_

As soon as he sent the text to Aradia, he got to work putting away the clothes he'd worn this weekend. He'd washed them before he left Eridan's house, so all he had to do was put them in the dresser. When he'd finished ten minutes later, Aradia still hadn't responded. Sollux frowned. Apparently Aradia _was_ busy, which was a first. Unless she was asleep—and it was too early for that—she was really good about getting back to his test messages right away. He decided to try Kanaya and sent her the same message.

Another fifteen minutes passed by with no word from either of them, so as a last-ditch effort, he tried Feferi.

_Nope, not at all! W)(y? W)(at's up? Need some kelp? 38D_

Sollux furrowed his brows at the really bad pun. _um 2o ii may or may not be playiing a prank on ed twomorrow and ii need to know iif you thiink hed notiice iif my backpack bulged awkwardly_

_O)(, wow, Sole, I )(ave no idea. Probably not, since you and I bot)( min-now )(e's a bit clueless. W)(en are you planning on playing t)(is prank? I can make sure )(e's t)(ere!_

Well, this was interesting. Feferi didn't seem to know that Eridan had invited Sollux over. _ii would be 2urprii2ed iif he wa2nt there 2iince iits goiing two be after 2chool twomorrow at hii2 apartment he iinviited me two come over there twomorrow whiile we were talkiing earliier twoday_

_)(-E INVIT-ED YOU OV-ER?! 38O_

_um ye2_

_O)( MY COD JUST B-E G-ENTL-E WIT)( )(IM PL-EAS-E! 38D_

_ii wa2nt planniing on phy2iically hurtiing hiim or anythiing the prank wiill be mo2tly harmle22_

_I M-EANT AFT-ER T)(-E PRANK YOU D-ENS-E DOOFIS)(!_

_um ff ii really dont thiink iit2 goiing two get two that... level_

_JUST YOU WAIT! 38D_

Feeling a bit unsettled, Sollux pocketed his phone and got to work removing every tube of toothpaste from its box and tossing them on his bed. No matter what Feferi hinted at, he would be incredibly surprised if anything besides sloppy makeouts happened tomorrow.


	47. Act 47

The next morning, Eridan took one step outside before grumbling, "Dicks," and turning right back around. It was nearly November, so it shouldn't have surprised him that it was starting to get cold out, but it was still an unpleasant shock, considering he'd been splashing around in his pool two days before. He went back inside, grabbed a scarf and his pea coat, and exited again before Cronus could say anything to him. He refilled his Thermos on the way out, too, since he figured the coffee would help warm him up.

He ended up having to park out in the boonies when he arrived at school, and the long walk made him grateful he'd grabbed his scarf and coat—the wind was blowing right through him, and he couldn't suppress a shiver. He was a good half-hour later than he normally was, and by the time he walked into the cafeteria building, he just caught sight of Sollux leaving. He was a bit disappointed by that, although what he would have said to him in person that he couldn't have just texted him was beyond him. Still, Fef lingered at her table with a girl with long dark hair and round glasses that he didn't know, so he sat down with them, slipping the strap of his backpack from his shoulder.

"Hey, Eridan," Fef said cheerfully, with a mischievous smirk that hinted she knew something he didn't. "What's up?"

"Um. Nothin'. You?"

"Nothing at all, except _glubbing_ with Jade here. By the way, Jade, this is my douchebag best friend Eridan Ampora, and Eridan, this is Jade Harley. She's on the swim team with me."

Jade waved. "Hi, Eridan!"

Fef propped her elbows up on the table. "So, Eridan, are you _sure_ there's nothing going on? Nothing at all that you maybe want to tell your best friend about?"

"Like what?"

"Like, oh, I don't know, a life-changing event of some sort, like a haircut or a new job or, you know, maybe a date?" she said innocently.

_Shit._ He knew there was something he'd forgotten to tell her. "Well, I guess you know already."

"Oooh, a date with who?" Jade asked.

Eridan had to fight the urge to either wrap the scarf around his face and suffocate himself or wrap it tighter around his neck and hang himself. He was so paralyzed with indecision that he didn't do either.

"Sollux Captor," Fef said. "They were all over each other all weekend."

"We were not!" he protested. "We just... made out a little."

Fef just laughed. "I'm just messing around, doo _fish_. I like teasing you. It's in my job description, remember?"

"I think we need to rework those terms," he grumbled.

"Shoosh."

"How did you find out about that, anyway?"

Fef made a tiny squeaking sound and covered her mouth, her eyes wide. Jade giggled.

"Fef."

"Sollux... may have... told me?"

Eridan heaved a dramatic sigh. "I can't even begin to imagine how _that_ conversation went."

"Oh, I have to go," Jade said abruptly. She stood up, snatching her backpack from beside her seat. "Class break is just about over and my new partner needs a bit of extra help." She waved at them as she retreated.

"See you at swim practice!" Fef called after her. She turned back to Eridan. " _Reel_ ly, it wasn't that bad. No big deal at all."

"What I _really_ wanna know is how the two a' you ended up talkin' in the first place."

"What, like I can't carry on a conversation with my best _frond_ 's future boy _frond_?"

"He's not my 'future boy _fro—_ friend'," he corrected himself.

" _Reel_ ly? Then he's your actual boy _frond_?"

"No! Fuck—no, not..." He groaned. "I don't know, okay? It all depends on how it goes, I guess. I really don't know, okay?"

Fef made a sympathetic noise at the back of her throat and squeezed his shoulder, "Aw, I'm sorry. I didn't _manta_ upset you. I'll _clam_ up if you want."

"It's not that. I'm just nervous 'cause I know I like him, I just don't know how much."

"Everything will be alright, fish," Fef said soothingly, rubbing his back. "Gay, straight, bi, or whatever else, I love you just the way you are."

Eridan very nearly responded with a cutting remark, but instead, he found himself thinking about it, suddenly relieved that he had such an understanding best friend as Feferi. He didn't know many people who would put up with half of his crap half as well as she did. "Thanks."

"No problem." She kissed his cheek. "Now what the _halibut_ is up with that scarf?"

* * *

Jade slid into her seat next to her new Psychology partner about five seconds before her teacher closed the door, signaling the end of the class intermission. She'd been partnered with Rose earlier, but she'd felt bad for the new girl and Rose was a Psychology whiz anyway, so she volunteered to be the new girl's partner. Vriska—that was her name, Vriska Serket—actually seemed surprised that someone volunteered and didn't have to be forced.

Rose didn't like Vriska, but whenever Jade asked, Rose refused to say why. She would say something about wanting Jade to form her own opinion of her, which Jade partially appreciated but she was mostly annoyed. Either way, though, there didn't seem to be anything immediately wrong with Vriska—she was a bit quiet and had the tendency to be waspish at times, but Jade's grandfather was moody and eccentric as well, so it didn't bother her.

"Do anything exciting on break?" Jade asked cheerfully.

Vriska shot her a look that tried to seem haughty but came off as more sad than anything. "No, not at all. What is there even to do?"

"Well, I went and talked to a few friends in K Building," Jade said, referring to the cafeteria building. "I just had a minute. It was nice to catch up, though!"

Vriska stared down at her desk, nibbling on her lip. "Fun," she finally muttered.

Jade waited for her to say something, anything, before asking, "What other classes do you have?"

"Spanish, Photography, Statistics, Government, and Film Production." Vriska never looked up.

"Film Production sounds exciting! Are you making any new friends?"

"I don't have friends," Vriska said bitterly.

"Sure, you do! You've got me, after all," Jade said.

Vriska finally looked up, giving Jade a look so searching that she nearly squirmed. She stared resolutely back, though, until Vriska said, "You're my friend?"

"Well, sure. If you want to be."

Vriska was silent for several long moments. "I don't do too well with friends," she said. "I have a lot of irons in the fire."

"So what's one more iron?"

"You're serious."

"Of course I am."

"Why would you want to be my friend?"

"Because everyone needs a friend. You can't just live your life cut off from people, you know?"

"What if I told you my sister was the only friend I needed?"

"Needed or had?"

"Is there a difference?"

"A big one."

Vriska looked back down at her desk, rubbing the tattoos on her left arm. "I'm not sure I remember how to be a friend, anyway. It's been..." She sighed. "Years. It's been years since I had one."

"How many years?"

Vriska muttered something unintelligible.

"Hmm?"

"Eight," she said, louder. "It's been eight years since I had anyone outside of my family to call a friend."

"That's too long," Jade declared. "Here." She tore a scrap of paper from the bottom of her notebook and scribbled her name and phone number across it in a script so cramped as to be nearly illegible. "Can you read that? Sorry, my handwriting is really sloppy. Call me after your next class gets out and we'll go to lunch if you want, okay?"

For a moment, Vriska looked at the paper as if it were going to bite her. Then she took it and slid it into her back pocket. "Okay," she said quietly, and Jade was pretty sure she saw the ghost of a smile on her face.

* * *

"Sorry I missed your text!" Aradia gushed apologetically. "What happened?"

Sollux glanced over his shoulder and adjusted the strap of his backpack. "I just wanted your advice on this prank I'm about to play on Eridan."

"What's the prank?"

"It..." He looked around again to verify that Ampora was not within earshot. "I can't go into detail, but it involves copious amounts of toothpaste." He unzipped his backpack about a quarter of the way to show her all the tubes of toothpaste.

"Oh, my God." Aradia covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. "You have to get video of this!"

"I may not get a chance." he said, zipping his backpack back up. "He might not discover the prank until after I've left."

"Oh, you're assuming you're going home tonight—that's cute."

"I—why wouldn't I be going home tonight? Where would I be?"

"Oh, you really _are_ clueless—oh, my God. Okay, honey, since the date is going to be at his place, you might be sleeping over there."

Sollux let out a startled squeak. "I, um, I really don't see that happening."

"It might! Even if nothing else happens, Eridan might be too tired to drive you back to your apartment, so he could just suggest that you spend the night at _his_ place... sleeping in _his_ bed... next to _him_... and then you go to school together in the morning. And you could possibly be wearing _his_ clothes, unless you decide to wear the exact same clothes as today, because I'm guessing you did not foresee _any_ of this and don't have a change of clothes. That toothpaste looks like it takes up a lot of room."

Sollux opened and closed his mouth several times. "He didn't say anything about sleeping over."

"Yeah, stuff like that isn't usually planned. Like last night—oops." Aradia covered her mouth again, her eyes widening.

"What? What happened last night?"

"Um..." She bit her lip, trying to hold back a grin and failing miserably. "Well, I spent the night at Equius's house."

Sollux blinked before a frankly evil grin spread across his face and he asked, "Truth or dare?"

She groaned. "I wanted to tell you later, but I guess now will do."

"Why did you want to wait?"

"Because—I don't know, it's still kind of new, and I'm still getting used to it myself. But, um, yeah, Equius is now officially my boyfriend."

"This is good news."

"It's _very_ good news!" Aradia agreed. "I just haven't had a boyfriend in awhile."

"Join the club."

She nudged him excitedly. "But that could change!"

"I guess so. But maybe not for awhile." He shouldered his backpack. "So I'm guessing you slept with him."

"Shoosh! Not yet!" She blushed but grinned.

"Okay, and now the real question is, does NP know?"

"Um..." She glanced over her shoulder, as if expecting Nepeta to come bounding over to them out of nowhere. "I don't think she does. When we picked her up this morning, Equius just told her he was giving me a lift to school, too."

"Smooth."

"Can you imagine the _cat-nip_ tion she'll have when she finds out?" Aradia joked.

Sollux was stunned into a disbelieving silence for a few moments. "You didn't."

She grinned. "It was too perfect. I saw the chance and I took it."

"You're not gonna start using cat puns all the time, are you?"

"No, just the one. I couldn't resist."

"I swear to God, I will start using some of FF's fish puns if you don't _cuttlefish_ it—okay, never mind, I can't do this."

Aradia hid her face in her hands and made a choking noise. "Oh, my God. That was so bad, Sollux. Please never do that again."

"I'm sure I could come up with a _betta_ one under the right circumstances," he joked.

She covered his mouth. "No. Shoosh." She glanced over his shoulder and took a step back. "Actually, it appears to be time for me to bow out. Your boyfriend's coming this way—maybe fish-boy will appreciate your shitty puns more than I do." She waved and quickly absconded as Sollux turned around to see that Aradia was right—Eridan was approaching, fidgeting with the strap of his messenger bag and wearing a ridiculous scarf ( _seriously?_ It wasn't _that_ cold).

"Uh, so, you ready to go?" he asked.

Sollux nodded nervously and readjusted his backpack.

"Um, okay. My car is like elev-ven miles aw-way so w-we got a bit a' a w-walk ahead a' us."

"That's fine." Sollux wanted to ask right now if he'd be sleeping at Eridan's place or heading back home to sleep but the words stuck in his throat. He simply followed Eridan out of the building and to his car, hoping that the night at the very least wouldn't suck.


	48. Act 48

Sollux was pretty sure dates were not supposed to be this awkward.

Neither he nor Eridan had said much of anything on the way to Eridan's apartment. It was a really awkward silence and Sollux wished he could crawl into his backpack and not come out. He might have had to clear out some of the toothpaste for that, but it was a risk he was willing to take.

He'd just started to contemplate the dimensions of his backpack and how many pieces he'd have to slice himself into in order to fit when Eridan awkwardly announced, "W-we're here," throwing his car in park.

Sollux had been here, outside the building, on Friday night, but he hadn't gone in, so he didn't know what to expect as he followed Eridan into the building, across the lobby (okay, _here_ he had expected something a little swankier than the sparsely-furnished lobby with a plant on a pedestal in one corner and a mirror hanging on the wall), and to the elevator. Eridan smacked the up button and the two of them waited in another awkward silence until the elevator _ding_ ed and the doors slid open. Eridan pressed the button for the eleventh floor and they rose steadily until he broke the awkward silence by asking, "So... how-w w-was school?"

Sollux rubbed the back of his neck. "Pretty good. Boring. The usual."

"Homework?"

"Calculus, but I finished it during lunch. You?"

"Couple a' bio worksheets. Maybe twenty minutes a' work. An' a Photography assignment, but it's not due for a couple a' weeks." Eridan shrugged as the elevator slowed, stopped, and opened up. He stepped off the elevator and turned left, leading Sollux down the hallway and stopping in front of 1174. He made a little surprised noise at the back of his throat and dug through his pockets until he found his key and unlocked the door.

Again, what Sollux saw was not what he expected. The whole apartment seemed drab and dingy, even by the standards of Sollux's apartment (he at least vacuumed once in awhile). He wasn't quite sure what to make of it—it wasn't necessarily messy, but the walls were dirty and everything about it just seemed cheap. Plus he could smell cigarette smoke and something else that he suspected was marijuana lingering in the air. There didn't look to be any sign of Cronus in the apartment living room, although what "a sign" of him would be, Sollux didn't know. Either way, Eridan quickly crossed the room and went to a door on the right-hand side of the adjoining hallway, so Sollux followed him. Eridan opened the door and disappeared inside, and as Sollux followed him in, Eridan set down his bag on the bed.

"Wow. This is..."

"Small?"

"Different."

"Yeah." Eridan looked around, as if seeing the room for the first time. "Well, you probably noticed the mess out there an' it drives me crazy so I pretty much just stay in here an' hate life," he half-joked. "I got really neat when I started livin' here."

Sollux caught sight of the fish tank and wandered over, still with his backpack slung over his shoulder. "No fish?" he asked, turning around.

"Not yet. I just got that tank... last Monday, I think it was. Rufioh at PetCo's got a few on hold for me, though."

"Why couldn't you get the fish then?"

"The water needs to get to the right pH level. You can't just put in regular tap water an' expect fish to live. You gotta dechlorinate it an' run it through about fifty filters before it's habitable to fish. It usually takes about a week so it should be good now, but Rufioh wanted to wait a few extra days to be sure." He shrugged. "Either way, I still like lookin' at it."

Sollux nodded slowly. "I didn't realize it worked that way."

"Yeah, me neither," Eridan said, grinning. "I went in last week thinkin' I was gonna come home with a bunch a' fish, an' that didn't happen. But I'm gettin' them on Wednesday, so no big deal." He cleared his throat, suddenly looking awkward again. "Um, lemme just do my bio homework really quick. It should only take a few minutes. Um..." He looked around, as if trying to come up with some way for Sollux to keep himself entertained.

Fortunately, Sollux had come prepared. "No problem. I have to go to the bathroom anyway. Where is it?"

"Right next door," Eridan said, looking relieved.

"Alright. Be right back." Still clutching his backpack as discreetly as he could, he slunk out the door and to the bathroom.

The first step was to lock the door to make sure no one accidentally barged in. Then he turned on the faucet to cover up the other noises he was bound to make. He set down his backpack and scanned the edge of the tub, but there was nothing he was looking for there. Then he checked the closet and pulled out two bottles of matching shampoo and conditioner. _Score._ He popped the tops, preparing for victory, but something about them didn't seem right. To check, he sniffed one, and then the other. _Fuck!_ Neither of them smelled like Eridan's hair. He remembered that smell vividly, and nothing in here smelled familiar. Eridan probably kept his shampoo in his room, making his job that much harder.

Sollux scowled and replaced the bottles in the closet. He would have to ransack Eridan's room... _or_ he could take a shower later and casually ask if he could borrow Eridan's shampoo. That would work, and in addition to laying down a masterful prank, he would end up smelling like Eridan.

Even as he thought that, he knew it was creepy.

He sat on the edge of the tub for a few more minutes until he figured a suitable amount of time had elapsed and turned the water off. He picked up his backpack and went back to Eridan's room.

Eridan was perched cross-legged on the chair in front of his desk, scribbling something on a few sheets of paper. Sollux wondered if it was safe for him to open his backpack and get out his laptop and then decided against it. The toothpaste would no doubt make noise and attract Eridan's attention. He silently cursed himself for not having the foresight to pack his phone charger (especially if Aradia was right and he did end up spending the night) and played Tetris until Eridan set his pen down, spun his chair, and asked, "You hungry?"

"A little," Sollux admitted.

"Pizza okay?"

"Pizza is fine."

* * *

They ended up watching _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_ on Eridan's Mac desktop while they ate pizza from Big Rico's and lounging on Eridan's bed. Sollux was acutely aware of the proximity of their bodies, in contact from their shoulders to the knees, and wondered if Eridan's heart was beating as fast as his.

Then again, Eridan seemed pretty absorbed in the movie, so maybe it was just him.

He didn't know how he managed to keep himself from making out with Eridan, but he managed. It probably helped that every time he thought about it, he stuffed his face with pizza, but when the pizza ran out, that became another problem.

"Hang on," Eridan said. He hopped off the bed, paused the movie, and picked up the pizza box. "Lemme just throw this out. I'll be right back." He hurried out of the room, and for a second, Sollux wondered if he should follow.

Actually, he realized this would be a great time for him to hunt for Eridan's shampoo and conditioner—even if he didn't end up implementing his prank right now, it would certainly help to know where it was. He slid off the bed and, telling himself he was _not_ being creepy, looked around at the shelves lining the walls and the wardrobe in the corner. His first instinct was to check the nightstand, but he was afraid he'd open it up and see lubricant or condoms, and frankly, either one of them would have sent him hyperventilating. He hovered with indecision in the middle of Eridan's floor, and then the door opened again, and Sollux's chance to locate the pranking items was gone.

"Still can't seem to find Cro," Eridan said. "I told him to behave last night, so I guess he thought that meant 'clear off.'" He shrugged and un-paused the movie. Then he finally looked at Sollux. "Hey. You okay there?"

"Uh, yeah."

"You look like you're—"

What he looked like, he never found out, because he closed the two-pace gap between them and pressed his lips to Eridan's. Eridan let out a tiny, surprised sound, but wrapped his arms around Sollux's waist, and the two of them just kissed until Sollux was pretty sure his knees were about to give out. Then he slowly backed Eridan up until his back was to the wall.

He couldn't stop kissing Eridan. It was the one constant that buzzed at the back of his head, the only thing he knew with absolute certainty. If he stopped kissing Eridan, he would die. Oxygen wasn't even a necessity for him anymore, not when he could suck the air out of Eridan's lungs.

His fingers tangled into Eridan's hair, stiff and slick with product, and yanked, tilting the shorter boy's head back until it smacked against the wall. He let out a grunt of pain and Sollux mumbled a hasty, "Sorry," against his lips but Eridan, rubbing his head where it had connected, mumbled right back, "Stop talkin'."

There were far too many layers of clothing between them and it was driving him crazy. Even with the slick slide of tongues against teeth and the breathless moans that they both let out and the way hands grabbed at asses and the pure, unadulterated taste of Eridan that would never leave his mouth again—fuck, Ampora had completely ruined him and they hadn't even slept together, they probably wouldn't, and Sollux would never forget how it would feel to have Eridan's hipster-slim frame between his and the wall or his artful stubble scraping his face—he wanted to feel more. He wanted to strip them both down to raw flesh and just feel his solid, soothing heat against his skin. He knew he had to stop, he had to regain control, this was rapidly slipping into something intimate—all they'd done was make out and already Sollux was off the deep end, sinking into this ocean of nightmares where everything was Eridan—Eridan Ampora _was_ the fucking ocean and he just wanted to swim in him until he drowned—and he'd never made any indication of wanting to take this any farther than sloppy makeouts; Sollux wanted him way too much for this to be a good idea. It was a huge mistake.

He had to slow this down. It was rapidly approaching the territory of Too Hot To Handle and he didn't want to be caught pawing at Eridan's jeans like some horny teenager even though he was a horny twenty-year-old. Reluctantly, he dialed down the heat on this kettle of ill-advised tonsil hockey before it boiled over and scalded him, and pulled back to gently nibbling on Eridan's lower lip. The shorter boy's fingers laced together behind Sollux's neck and he just started to think he was really cooling down when Eridan let out this needy little sigh with just the right end note of desperation and Sollux, who had seconds before climbed out of the Sea of Ampora, cannonballed right back in, cradling Eridan's face in a graceless mashing of lips and scraping of teeth that, nevertheless, had Eridan tugging him closer.

He could feel Eridan's heart racing in his chest, feel his pulse beneath his fingertips, and he wanted to leave more marks on Eridan's neck for him to cover up with a stupid fucking scarf. He wanted to do something more than this, but he'd promised Eridan and promised himself that he wouldn't force anything, he'd let Eridan set a pace he was comfortable with, but this was agonizing. He wanted to touch him somewhere, and he settled for sliding a hand under Eridan's shirt and just resting it there on his side, a few inches above the waistband of his jeans.

Eridan groaned, pushed Sollux back a couple of inches, and pulled his shirt over his head in about five seconds, knocking his glasses clean off his face. Instead of picking them up and putting them on the desk, he left them where they fell and drew Sollux back to him, bringing their mouths back together. Then Eridan was tugging on the hem of Sollux's shirt, and through the hormone-fueled haze in his head, he managed to get his shit together enough to help Eridan rid him of his shirt as well.

He was brought back to Saturday and making out in Eridan's living room, leaving hickeys on his neck, and Sollux was internally pleased to see that the marks hadn't quite faded. He slid his mouth from Eridan's and trailed down his neck, biting and sucking his way to Eridan's collarbone, removing his own glasses and dropping them onto the pile of shirts. The shorter boy hissed and buried his fingers in Sollux's hair, leaning into him and tilting his head to the right to allow Sollux better access.

"There somewhere you don't want me to leave a mark?" Sollux murmured into Eridan's skin.

Eridan shook his head and let out a faint moan. "Wherever you want's fine," he gasped.

"You sure?"

Eridan nodded and, before he could stop himself, the words flew out of his mouth. "I'm yours."

Sollux froze for a moment. He looked up to meet Eridan's gaze, and for a second, neither of them moved or even breathed. Then, Sollux tentatively straightened up and kissed him again.

He felt like he was burning, even with his shirt off and the cool wall against his back. All he knew was that the moment he'd told Sol, "I'm yours," he hadn't been mistaken. He wanted Sol to keep kissing him, he wanted to be able to see those gorgeously mismatched eyes every day, he wanted to hold his hand and kiss his neck and run his fingers through his hair and smell his skin. But right now, above all, what he wanted the most was for something more than _this_. His jeans felt about eleven sizes too small and he was impossibly hard from just a few kisses and when he accidentally-on-purpose ground his hips against Sol's, drawing tiny groans from both of them, he was relieved to discover he wasn't the only one. He just knew he had to get out of his fucking pants.

He pushed Sol backward, keeping their bodies as close together as possible, and walked them toward the bed until Sol's knees hit the mattress and he sat down, hard. Eridan moved over him, keeping their mouths connected as he straddled Sol, pushing him flat on the bed.

"Mmmm, hang on," Sol murmured between kisses. "You sure you're ready for this?"

"Um..." Eridan pulled back for a minute to think. "Ready for what?"

"Um. Sex. It's... um, a bit ill-advised without lube."

"Oh. Uh, yeah, I don't have any." Eridan scratched the side of his head, feeling awkward—made all the worse by the fact that he was still straddling Sol and both of them were still ready to go.

"Yeah, me neither," Sol admitted. "I didn't think it was gonna get this far, actually."

"Ah." Eridan leaned down and kissed Sol's lips again. "Well, we can probably think a' somethin' else to do." He carefully balanced himself on one elbow and reached down between them, unbuttoning Sol's jeans before the taller boy took over and unbuttoned and unzipped Eridan's jeans. Eridan let out a faint groan as the pressure in his jeans was released, and then a louder one when Sol's hand dragged over his boxers.

"You like that?" Sol asked, his lips quirked up in a mischievous smile, and Eridan nodded despite the trembling in his elbows, his arms threatening to give out. "Hang on," he added, and deftly rolled them over so Eridan was on his back. "Better?" he asked, and Eridan nodded again. "Good. Let me know if you want me to stop." He placed a light kiss on Eridan's mouth and started running his hands over Eridan's still-covered cock.

Eridan's eyes slid closed and he moaned, feeling himself rutting into Sol's hand and half-hating himself for loving it, but he needed more. "Please," he breathed, the word escaping him without his conscious control. "Fuckin' _touch me_ , Sol, please...!"

Sol only waited a few agonizing seconds longer before his fingers slipped past the waistband of his boxers and wrapped around him. Eridan let out a loud groan and he prayed Cronus either wasn't home or had his headphones on because there was no way he was staying quiet, not with Sol stroking him like that, and he shimmied his jeans down further to make it easier for Sol and he thrust mindlessly into Sol's hand, remembering that the last time he'd masturbated, he'd been thinking about this very boy and now he was here, in his bed, with him—Sol's fingers wrapped around his dick and Sol leaning over and panting in his ear and he could still feel how hard Sol was against his leg and Sol was hard because of _him_ , Sol wanted him, too, Sol probably wanted to fuck him until he screamed—

That thought combined with Sol's skilled hand working him had him gritting his teeth and gasping out, "Jesus fuck, Sol, _yes—_!" and before he had time to mentally prepare himself, he was coming, all over Sol's hand and his own jeans, and beneath the subsiding hormones, there was a deeper undercurrent of satisfaction that had less to do with the physical release and more to do with the look on Sol's face. He laughed giddily and pulled Sol down to kiss him. " _That_ felt good."

Sol smiled. "Good."

Eridan kissed his lips, his cheek, his jaw, his neck before drawing back, remembering that Sol still hadn't gotten off. "Uh, you want me to...?"

"You don't have to," Sol murmured.

"But I want to," Eridan said, surprising himself by how true it was. "Is that okay?"

Sol nodded, his mismatched eyes widening almost imperceptibly, and Eridan scraped his teeth over Sol's neck as he was finally able to use both hands to finish undoing Sol's jeans. His fingers trembled slightly as he pushed down his pants and pulled out Sol's cock—he was still incredibly hard and it felt weird to hold an erection that wasn't his own, but definitely not unpleasant. Without further ado, he started pumping Sol's cock, and almost immediately, Sol was slumping against him, panting in his ear and cradling the back of his head and giving small thrusts into Eridan's hand and murmuring, "Oh, God, faster, faster—yeah, _oh, God_ , Eridan, _fuck_...!" Sooner than Eridan expected, Sol's nails dug into the back of his scalp, and sure, _that_ hurt, but he couldn't believe the sounds Sol made as he came, filling his ears and causing Eridan to close his eyes. It was nearly enough to get him hard again, and while he wouldn't have minded it too much (not with Sol here), he was exhausted and the movie was still playing on his computer and he desperately needed a shower.

For a few long moments, the two of them sat there, arms around each other, and just breathed, listening to each other's heartbeats. Finally, Sol murmured, "Are you gonna get into the shower or can I?"

"You can go first. I'm gonna take awhile," Eridan said. As Sol slid off his lap (somehow, during their escapades, they'd twisted together like that), Eridan reached across his bed, opened up his nightstand, and tossed his shampoo and conditioner at him. "Here. You can use mine. Cro's is kinda cheap. Towels in the closet."

Sol nodded, picked up the bottles and his backpack, grabbed his shirt and located his glasses, and murmured, "Be back in a few."

Eridan waved in acknowledgment, but the moment the door closed behind Sol, he buried his face in his hands and fought back a very undignified giggle. The night had definitely gone better than he'd expected.


	49. Act 49

Sollux slipped out of Eridan's room and into the bathroom, glancing down the hallway in case Cronus happened to be creeping around—which he was. He was just about to duck into the bathroom when he saw that another door at the end of the hall was open a few inches, and Cronus's smirking face peeked out at him. He stuck out his hand and flashed Sollux a thumbs-up sign (oh, yeah, he'd _definitely_ heard them), and Sollux turned bright red and slammed the door behind him as quickly as he could. Cronus's laughter and the sound of his door closing drifted into the bathroom, and Sollux glared at the door and dropped everything in his arms.

He lingered in the shower for almost twenty minutes before he stepped out, entirely clean. He eyed his clothes in a pile on the floor—he was definitely _not_ putting those back on—and instead wrapped the towel around his waist. He sat on the edge of the tub and unscrewed the tops on the bottles of shampoo and conditioner, set them aside, and gathered all the toothpaste from his backpack. One by one, he emptied each tube into one bottle, and then the other, until both bottles had been filled to the top third with toothpaste. He grinned, replaced the caps, and tossed the empty tubes into his backpack. He decided to leave the bottles on the edge of the tub—it would make more sense anyway, but he also didn't want to give Eridan the extra chance to realize, _Hey, this seems more full than it did earlier_ and have him discover the prank before it was actually implemented.

Although, based on the look he'd had on his face when Sollux left, he probably wouldn't have noticed a freight train running through his room.

Eridan continued watching the movie without really seeing it. He just wanted to fall asleep, although he definitely wasn't going to since he was still sticky, and that wasn't even taking into consideration the product in his hair. That needed to get scrubbed out, too. But for the moment, he was content with lounging on his bed and waiting for Sol to finish in the shower.

* * *

After cleaning himself up as best he could, he dropped his clothes in the laundry basket and dug out his least-lame set of pajamas (holy crap, how did he own so much purple? He was so _weird_ ). He flopped back onto his bed and waited, nearly falling asleep by the time the bedroom door swung open and Sol walked in with his backpack in his hand and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

It certainly wasn't like he hadn't seen Sol in less before—his swim suit had left less to the imagination than the towel—but knowing that one quick yank would leave Sol standing there completely naked was more than enough to keep Eridan's eyes on him.

"So I definitely need to do laundry before I leave for the night," Sol said, either not noticing or choosing to ignore the way Eridan was practically drooling over him.

"Wait, you're leavin'?"

"Well... I don't have to. I wasn't sure how this was gonna work out." Sol half-smiled sheepishly. "I don't have a problem staying if you don't."

"No, a' course not." Eridan rolled off his bed. "Um. I guess I should probably try to find you a change a' clothes. I don't know if anythin' will fit you, though."

"Well, I don't really need a shirt," Sol started, but Eridan shook his head.

"No, you definitely do."

Sollux blinked as Eridan began rifling through his drawers, looking for clothes. He looked down and then back up, a wide smirk spreading across his face. "Why, ED, are you _distracted_ by this?"

"No," Eridan said after a long moment and in a tone so petulant, Sollux _knew_ he was lying. He thought about sneaking up behind Eridan and teasing him more, but he decided against it—he'd just gotten out of the shower and he didn't feel like getting messy again, and he didn't have enough confidence in his flirting abilities anyway. His strengths lay in academic ventures, not physical. He settled for, "Yeah, right," and sat on the edge of Eridan's bed, catching the pair of sweatpants and the T-shirt that came flying out at him.

"Alright, I'm gonna go shower. Try to behave yourself," Eridan said, grabbing a towel and heading to the bathroom.

"Cronus is lurking out there!" Sollux called back at him, a half a second before the door slammed. He waited for an answer, but there was none, and a moment later, there was the sound of another door closing.

Sollux shrugged, dropped his towel, and got dressed.

* * *

Eridan set his glasses on the bathroom counter, noted with satisfaction that Sol had left his shampoo and conditioner right there (good, at least he didn't have to hunt for them), got undressed, and hopped in the shower. He spent a solid fifteen minutes standing under the water and nearly dozed off standing up. Everything was perfect right now.

Then he reached for the shampoo.

* * *

It had been nearly twenty minutes and there was nothing but the sound of water running from the bathroom. Sol began to wonder if Eridan had even noticed his prank and instead just gone along and washed his hair with toothpaste, and then all of a sudden, Eridan screamed, _"CAPTOR!"_

Sol covered his mouth with his hands, tried not to giggle, and dashed to the bathroom.

* * *

Even through his headphones, he could hear Eridan shouting in the bathroom. It sounded vaguely like _captor_ , although who or what the captor was, Cronus had no idea. He threw off his headphones and ran out of his room to meet Sollux outside the bathroom door. He realized Sollux was wearing Eridan's clothes and grinned—Eridan could deny it all he wanted, but he'd basically assumed this guy into his life as his boyfriend. "What the fuck's he on about?" he asked Sollux quietly.

Sollux grinned at him. "I put toothpaste in his shampoo and conditioner."

Cronus blinked for a minute before doubling over with laughter.

* * *

Eridan stared, dumbfounded, at what was quite clearly a dollop of toothpaste in his hand. It looked like toothpaste, it smelled like toothpaste, and it probably tasted like toothpaste, but Eridan wasn't about to lick it and find out. It had been in a bottle with shampoo, after all.

He shook off the not-shampoo and checked the conditioner to discover the same thing. _"CAPTOR!"_ he yelled, furious because he _knew_ it was Sol, he'd been the one to use it last and he hadn't come back reeking of toothpaste and his backpack had looked suspiciously less empty when he came back to the bedroom although it hadn't really registered in Eridan's mind and he'd come back in a towel because he obviously hadn't had clothes in the bag and _oh, my God,_ he'd been completely stupid and before he knew it, he was sitting on the edge of the tub, laughing. As loathe as he was to admit it, that had been a much better prank than wrapping his car in plastic wrap and smearing it in dish soap—and at least it hadn't been Nair in his shampoo, because if he'd gone bald, he would have flipped holy Hell.

Someone knocked on the door, and he stepped out of the shower and left the water running, wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbed one of the bottles, and opened the door. Both Sol and Cronus were there, looking at him. He tossed the bottle at Sol's face, saying, "Fuck off. Get me the new bottles in the drawer."

Sol cracked up and walked away, and Eridan turned to Cronus. "You fuck off, too."

"I would, but I think Sollux already took care of that," Cronus joked quietly as Sol disappeared into Eridan's room. Eridan went red and swatted at his brother's head.

"Please believe me, I tried to ignore it," Cronus added.

"This is not happenin'."

"This is your life, an' it's endin' one minute at a time."

Sol reappeared with Eridan's new bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Eridan snatched them up, shot another glare at Cronus, and slammed the door closed.

This time, the rest of his shower went by without incident.

* * *

"I bet you think you're so fuckin' clever," Eridan said as he closed the door to his room behind him. Sol had gone back to relaxing on his bed, playing on his phone, and not watching the movie.

"I thought it was pretty smart, yeah," Sol joked. "And you walked right into it."

Eridan shook his head with a faint grin, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Well, I guess I gotta hand that one to you. Better than your last prank, anyway."

Sol shrugged. "I was in a time crunch. I had literally no other ideas. I also had EQ's help."

"Hey, you can't ask people to help you! That's not fair!"

"Oh, right, 'cause we established _rules_ at the beginning of this." Sol rolled his eyes.

Eridan crossed his arms. "Alright, so I guess not, but _still_."

"Quit whining, you little shit," Sol joked, throwing his arm around Eridan and dragging him to sit next to him. "It's your turn—think of something good."

Eridan snickered and curled up next to Sol. "Trust me, it'll be about a thousand times better than any a' yours."

Sol snorted. "Hmm. Doubt that."

"You underestimatin' my massive intellect?"

"Oh, is _that_ what you call it? Normal people call that 'douchebaggery.'"

If it was anyone but Sol (or Fef), he would have gotten upset. He knew that immediately. He waited for annoyance to set in, but it never did. Maybe it was because he could just tell Sol was teasing him, he didn't actually mean it. It was actually kind of nice, and laying there in front of Sol with the taller boy running his fingers through his now-dry hair was impossibly relaxing.

He felt his eyes drifting closed, and this time, he didn't fight it.

* * *

– – _twinArmageddons began pestering apocalypseArisen– –_

_TA: hey you bu2y_

_AA: n0t at the m0ment, n0. why?_

_TA: why do you thiink iim at eds place and iit2 tiime for a 2tatu2 update_

_AA: 000h exciting. s0 whats g0ing 0n?_

_TA: iit appear2 ii wiill be 2tayiing here for the niight 2iince iim weariing hii2 clothe2_

_AA: HA CALLED IT_

_AA: what else have y0u tw0 been d0ing_

_TA: watchiing harry potter and eatiing piizza what do you thiink_

_AA: w0w 0kay y0u d0nt have t0 tell me but theres n0 need t0 be rude_

_TA: huh no that wa2 pretty much a legiit descriiptiion of event2 here_

_AA: 0h_

_TA: and then ii put toothpa2te iin hii2 2hampoo and condiitiioner a2 a prank_

_AA: 0H SHIT S0N what happened?_

_TA: he wa2 kiind of pii22ed off at fiir2t but then he 2tarted laughiing 2o he2 not really mad at me ii gue22_

_AA: wait s0 he sh0wered while y0u were there_

_TA: yeah but 2o diid ii ii2 that a biig deal or 2omethiing_

_AA: t0gether_

_TA: what_

_AA: DID Y0U SH0WER T0GETHER_

_TA: no we diidnt need two_

_AA: !!!_

_TA: ii mean_

_TA: um_

_AA: THERE IS S0METHING Y0URE N0T TELLING ME_

_AA: WHAT DID Y0U D0 WITH HIM_

_AA: DID Y0U SLEEP WITH HIM_

_AA: TELL ME N0W AND TELL IT TRUE 0R I WILL CASTRATE Y0U_

_TA: no oh my god ii diidnt 2leep wiith hiim_

_TA: neiither of u2 had any lube_

_AA: jfc_

_TA: um_

_TA: iit came pretty clo2e though_

_AA: h0w cl0se is cl0se_

_TA: liike_

_TA: actually no iim not haviing thii2 conver2atiion riight now iill probably tell you twomorrow_

_AA: GAHHHHH fine_

_AA: y0u better tell me when y0u actually d0 sleep with him th0ugh_

_AA: im assuming y0u b0th enj0yed whatever happened and will c0ntinue dating 0r whatever the fuck eridan calls it_

_TA: yeah actually ii thiink everythiing went well and ii wiill 2ee you twomorrow_

_AA: g00d cause if y0u just stay there and fuck all day i will be very disapp0inted in y0u_

_TA: agaiin, no lube_

_AA: Y0U KN0W WHAT I MEAN_

_TA: hey youre gettiing pretty 2houty your2elf ii2 everythiing okay_

_AA: everything is fine cant i just be happy f0r y0u g0d_

_TA: haha okay 2ee you twomorrow_

_AA: d0nt have t00 much fun n0w_

– – _twinArmageddons ceased pestering apocalypseArisen – –_

* * *

They crawled under the covers before the movie finished and almost immediately, Eridan burrowed into Sollux's side, throwing an arm across him. Sollux smiled sleepily to himself and kissed the side of his neck.

As he drifted off, he realized it had been five days since he'd fallen asleep with the aid of sleeping pills.


	50. Act 50

Eridan had never spent the night with another person in his bed before. It was an interesting change.

He was usually able to sprawl out on his bed however he liked, but now, he couldn't. Sol was there, taking up half the bed, and he was unconsciously concerned about smacking him in the face. Eridan ended up right next to Sol, an arm thrown around him possessively, and he felt Sol shift next to him to kiss his neck and send shivers of pleasure across his skin. He really wanted to see if Sol would be agreeable to a repeat performance, but Sol's hair had just barely dried from his shower, and they'd no doubt have to take another afterward, so Eridan restrained himself. Still, with Sol's fingers lazily playing through his hair, he was caught between wanting to shove his hand down Sol's pants again and wanting to fall asleep. The latter won out, though, and with the sound of Sol's heartbeat in his ear, he drifted off.

He half-woke up around midnight as the bed shifted again and Sol climbed out. He heard the bedroom door open and close, followed by the bathroom door, and a few minutes later, Sol returned. He climbed back into bed, scooted close to Eridan, and wrapped his arms around him, and Eridan smiled to himself.

* * *

Waking up for the morning brought up an entirely different set of problems. For one thing, neither of them had actually had the presence of mind to start up the laundry and wash Sollux's dirty clothes, which Sollux only realized after his alarm went off at six-thirty and he discovered he had nothing to wear except whatever clothes Eridan had that might fit him. For another thing, Sollux's alarm went off at six-thirty, and Eridan, groggy and grumpy from sleep, asked, "What the fuck is goin' on?"

"My alarm," Sollux answered, dismissing the alarm and stretching. "My first class is in two hours."

Eridan groaned. "So sleep another hour or somethin'. I'm drivin' you to school, so it's not like you gotta catch the bus or anythin'."

"Yeah, but my clothes never got washed."

Eridan groaned again and flung his arm over his eyes. "An' they won't. The washers an' dryers here are notoriously slow."

"Fuck."

Eridan reluctantly sat up. "Alright, fine, I'm up. I can probably find somethin' else for you to wear."

"I'm not wearing your underwear."

"Then your only other option is goin' commando."

"Like I haven't done that before. Wipe that smirk off your face," Sollux added. Eridan had turned his head to level a salacious look at him.

"What? I didn't do anythin'!"

"Stop using your imagination."

"I don't need to." Eridan grinned.

Sollux snapped his fingers. "Focus."

"Alright, fine. You know how to make coffee?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Go start some up. I'll try to find socially-acceptable clothes for you to wear to school, an' then I'm gettin' in the shower."

"Uh. You just showered last night."

Eridan stared at him. "Your point?"

"Um... are you a germaphobe or something?"

"No, I just... like water, I guess."

Sollux narrowed his eyes, as if sizing him up. "Hmm. Weird."

"Just go make coffee. The stronger, the better."

Sollux reached for his glasses, scratched at his scalp, and nodded, standing up and heading to the kitchen.

Eridan sighed and flopped back onto his bed for a few long moments. He really didn't want to be awake right now—his alarm went off at seven-thirty, so this was ridiculous—but he needed to find clothes for Sol to wear and besides, once he had coffee running through his system, he'd actually be a functional human being again. He wished he'd told Sol that more coffee was always better than less coffee, but then again, the guy drank tea like it was going out of style, so if he was lucky, it would be obvious.

He finally dragged himself out of bed and flipped through his closet. He had a few shirts that were a little long in the sleeve, so he tended to roll those up to his elbows to disguise it—he tossed a black button-up onto his bed and began hunting for pants. By the time Sol came back with a mug of coffee in his hand, Eridan had a whole outfit picked out for Sol. He snatched the mug out of Sol's hand and sailed into the bathroom with his towel over his shoulder.

Sollux looked at the clothes Eridan had laid on the bed and sighed. He felt over-dressed for school already, and he wasn't even dressed. Still, he couldn't very well show up in sweatpants that were in danger of falling off his ass, so he pulled on the clothes that Eridan had picked, feeling very much like he was getting ready for a family dinner. He had to roll the sleeves of the shirt up since the cuffs skimmed his knuckles, but the jeans fit pretty well, considering they were Eridan's. After he finished dressing, he sat awkwardly on the bed until he realized that Eridan taking long-ass showers was the norm. Then he got up and went back to the kitchen to see if they had any tea. If he got desperate, he supposed he could settle for coffee, but that would be a last resort.

The first few cupboards rendered nothing but disappointment and condiments, and he began hunting through the cupboard that he'd found the coffee in when he heard a smug voice drawl, "Mornin'."

Sollux looked over his shoulder at Cronus, who was giving him the same shit-eating grin he'd been wearing the night before. "Um. Hi."

"Who made coffee?"

"Me."

Cronus nodded, still grinning, and fished a mug out of another cupboard. "Those threads look familiar," he commented. He filled the cup with coffee and dumped about a cup of sugar into it.

Sollux felt himself turning red. "Do you have tea here?"

"Sorry," Cronus said, not looking sorry at all. "Fresh out."

"Oh. Can you hand me a cup?"

"Sure." Cronus reached for another mug and handed it over. "My little brother should be out a' the shower soon. He always takes forever."

"Yeah, I gathered that." Sollux felt more awkward by the second. It wasn't that he didn't like Cronus—he honestly knew nothing about him except that he was Eridan's brother and apparently had a thing for the nineteen-fifties. It kind of drove home how little he actually knew about Eridan himself, aside from his favorite color being purple and his favorite movie being basically any of the _Harry Potter_ series and he was twenty and came from obscene money and Feferi was his best friend and he liked fucking with people and he liked water and fish and he had a penchant for shitty hipster traits and apparently he had a caffeine addiction. Which, now that he thought about it, was a fairly good summary of his personality.

"So what are you majorin' in?" Cronus asked, as if there was no awkwardness at all. He sat down at the table, nursing his mug of coffee, allowing Sollux to pour himself a small cup.

"Uh. Well, I'm going for my Bachelor of Science, and then I'm going to try to get a Master's in Computer Programming." He only put about a half a cup of sugar into his coffee and drowned the rest in creamer from the fridge. He eyeballed the coffee left in the coffeepot and decided he might as well make more—Eridan would probably want more.

"Well, at least you know what you wanna do with your life. Shit, I _still_ don't know. It's why I'm workin' at a gas station until I figure it out."

 _Must be nice to be that rich_ , Sollux thought, but he said, "Why do you work there? Why not... _not_ work?"

Cronus sighed. "I get bored way too easily. It keeps me occupied, I don't have to rely on my folks for everythin'—trust me, the temptation to do that is pretty strong—an' I get a discount on snacks an' gas. It's a win all around."

"Any idea on what you want to do yet?"

"Not really," Cronus said, so evasively that Sollux knew he was lying, but he wasn't about to push it.

Eridan suddenly appeared in the doorway and looked from Cronus to Sollux and back. "So. What's goin' on?"

Cronus suddenly grinned and leaned back in his chair. "Just gettin' to know your boyfriend, no big deal."

_Wait, did he just—?_

Eridan groaned, grabbed Sollux by the arm, and dragged him out of the kitchen. "Leave him alone!" he called back at Cronus. "He doesn't need to answer any a' your fucked-up questions!" To Sollux, he mumbled, "Sorry. He's a nosy little shit. He's like a cat—if you give him attention, he'll just sit there makin' noise and bein' annoyin'. If you ignore him, he goes away."

"He—" Sollux pointed over his shoulder. "He just called me your boyfriend."

Eridan pushed open his bedroom door. "Yeah, he does that. He's been doin' that since Saturday, actually."

"Ah." He wondered if he should say anything else about it—he was burning to ask, but he was afraid of the answer.

"Huh. Those clothes look good on you," Eridan said, looking him over.

"I feel like I'm going to church," Sollux muttered.

Eridan snorted with laughter. "Nothin' wrong with a dress shirt an' jeans. It's nerdy chic—I figured you'd like it."

Sollux tilted his head and glanced in the mirror. He supposed Eridan had a point—the jeans Eridan had loaned him were tighter than he was used to, but they made his butt look good, and the shirt was pretty cool, too. "I don't know—if it was nerdy chic, I'd be wearing a sweater vest," he joked.

"I can probably find one for you—don't mock me."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Sollux's mouth. Finally, he decided that he might as well ask—no matter what the answer was, he told himself he could handle it. "So. _Am_ I your boyfriend?"

Eridan paused in the middle of shoving things into his backpack. He turned around, pressed his knuckles to his lips, and looked at Sollux for several long moments.

Sollux suddenly wished he hadn't asked—he couldn't read the expression on Eridan's face but it didn't matter. He was already bracing himself for the letdown. He shouldn't have asked. It was too early in the morning for this, too early in whatever relationship this even _was_ , and he wished he could just walk away or run away and not have to hear the answer, but the last time he'd done that—Sunday, had it really only been two days?—Eridan had gotten upset that Sollux was just going to leave, so this time he stayed and waited.

"And I'm not asking because of last night or anything—I just want to know," he added quietly.

"Do you wanna be?" Eridan finally asked.

Sollux didn't trust himself to speak, so he just nodded, two quick jerks of his head.

Eridan dropped his hand from his mouth, crossed the room to where Sollux stood, and took his hands. "Sol, will you be my boyfriend?"

Sollux exhaled sharply, the sound nearly a laugh, and dropped his head to Eridan's shoulder. He was caught between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry, and in the end, the former won out. He managed to nod and say, "Yeah, okay."

"Wow, real enthusiastic there," Eridan teased.

Sollux chuckled and wrapped his arms around Eridan's waist, nuzzling his head into the crook of Eridan's neck. He bit down lightly just over the collar of his T-shirt and Eridan hissed faintly but brought his hand up to the back of Sollux's head. Sollux moved his lips a bit further up and bit again, just as his stomach gave a loud rumble, and Eridan started laughing.

"Hope you're not tryin' to eat me there."

"Haven't resorted to cannibalism yet," Sollux joked, straightening up but keeping his arms around Eridan.

"Get your stuff. We have a little bit a' time—we can get some breakfast. Plus we won't have Cro breathin' down our necks."

Sollux wanted to protest, but his stomach growled again, so he nodded, let Eridan go, and grabbed his backpack. As soon as Eridan finished putting his things for the day in his own bag, they were heading out the door.


	51. Intermission V/Act 51

_**INTERMISSION V** _

_**Several hours before (nineteen hours and eight minutes, to be precise)** _

Vriska had crumpled and uncrumpled the scrap of paper with Jade's number on it at least a dozen times. Indecision had paralyzed her, and now she was frozen on the gazebo bench, trying to decide if she should call Jade and go to lunch with her or simply ignore the girl's offer. She'd brushed aside people's proverbial extensions of friendship before, after all.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her hoodie, and she fished it out and checked the message. It was from her sister Aranea.

_Mom says you gotta come home right after school. Family dinner tonight._

They had family dinners _every_ night—just the three of them. Her, her mother, her sister. She loved her family, of course, but when it came down to it, she hadn't even been _allowed_ to have other friends. She was pretty sure her mother would have been okay with it, but Aranea... No, her sister would have ridiculed her and insisted that whoever it was couldn't be trusted until the one day when they inevitably did something small like not return a text message promptly or cancel plans, and then Aranea would pick at it and pick at it and blow it up into something far bigger than it was and Vriska would just stop hanging out with that friend and that was that. Ever since the Terezi incident of middle school, Aranea had seemed opposed to Vriska having any friends at all.

Vriska ran her fingers through her hair. She'd seen Terezi around at school, too. She still had yet to go up and try to talk to her. Part of her missed her old middle-school friend, but it was probably too late to apologize, and besides, no one would take her seriously. Terezi was seen hanging around Aradia and that Sollux guy, and they hung out with Eridan and Equius and Nepeta, so they no doubt were already prejudiced against her.

 _Fuck it._ She deserved to have someone besides Aranea as a friend, didn't she?

She deigned not to reply to Aranea's text message and instead dialed Jade's number.

"Jade Harley," Jade chirped cheerfully.

"Uh, hey, Jade, it's Vriska."

"Oh, hi, Vriska! How are you?" Jade sounded genuinely happy to hear from her. Vriska didn't know what to make of it.

"Um, I'm okay. So my class is finished..."

"Alright, awesome! Swim practice is just finishing up here—did you want to go to lunch?"

A few pinpricks of guilt stabbed at her. _Jade's right—Aranea can't be my only friend_ , she told herself. "Yeah, actually. That sounds great."

"Cool! Where are you at? I can meet you there."

"I'm in the gazebo by..." Vriska twisted around on the bench until she located the nearest building. "By C building."

"Okay, I'll be there soon! Just give me like ten minutes!"

"Yeah. See you later then." She hung up, stuck her phone back in her pocket, and settled in to wait.

After nearly twenty minutes with no sign of of Jade, Vriska sighed and picked up her backpack. Apparently Aranea was right—even trying to have friends only set you up for a world of disappointment. _I can't believe it. I thought she actually wanted to hang out with me._ That was what she got for getting her hopes up. Only family could be trusted—everyone else just let you down. She stepped out of the gazebo and onto the grass, trying to remember which way was K building and wondering what she would say to Eridan or Kanaya when she inevitably saw one of them there.

"Hey! Hey, Vriska! Wait up!"

Vriska spun around. There was Jade Harley, her round glasses flashing as she sprinted across the quad. Her skirt billowed out dramatically behind her, but she was waving excitedly. "Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Jade gushed, finally drawing level with Vriska and stopping. She barely seemed winded from the dash. "Coach kept us a little later than I expected—I barely had time to shower. But I'm here now—sorry I made you wait! So where did you want to go to lunch?"

"Wherever you want. I'm not too picky," Vriska said, offering a small smile.

"Oooh, I've got a great idea! You like Korean food?"

"Never had it."

"Well, there's a really good Korean place pretty close by—wanna go?"

Jade looked so excited for it that it was next to impossible for Vriska to deny her. "Sure, I'll try it out."

Jade made recommendations and Vriska took them. She had no idea what she was eating half the time, but it was really good. Meanwhile, Jade regaled her with stories of her crazy grandfather and how, when she was a kid, he would refuse to let her leave the house without her air rifle—and she'd been homeschooled until high school, so air rifles at school had never been a problem.

Vriska kept most of her family-related stories to herself because, as she thought back of them, all the really significant ones were depressing. The only ones that came to mind were the ones about her first spider dying the day her dad left or Aranea giving her shitty advice when it came to dealing with friends. She didn't have any good stories from high school, either, except the ones about seeing _Spiderman I_ and _Spiderman II_. She wished she had Peter Parker's abilities—maybe that was why she kept so many pet spiders.

She did tell Jade about Marquise Spinneret Mindfang III, though, and for the first time, the reaction she got was unadulterated delight.

"You have a pet tarantula? That is so cool! I always wanted one, but Grandpa said it was a bad idea. Becquerel, my dog—well, he's more of a Hell-beast than a dog—would probably try to eat it."

Vriska laughed. "I highly doubt that. Tarantulas have a lot of self-defense mechanisms. They can protect themselves really well."

"Well, Bec is kind of... huge. He's eaten birds before. He's twelve years old but he still has the energy of a puppy and he's _huge_. Like a hundred and forty pounds. So the itchy hair things might not affect him right away."

"He sounds like a monstrosity."

"He is," Jade replied, sounding for all the world like someone talking about how adorable their new puppy was.

Vriska bit her lip and stared down at her nearly-empty plate. Aranea wouldn't be home for hours... "Wanna see the Marquise?"

"Sure!"

  
_**END INTERMISSION V.** _

* * *

_**ACT 51** _

_**Several hours later (seventeen hours and forty-three minutes, to be precise)** _

Breakfast with Eridan had to be cut short in order for Sollux to make it to his class on time (which he was adamant he do—not that he really needed to, considering all the other classes he'd skipped before, but he didn't want it said that his grades were slipping just because of a guy), so Eridan dropped him off and went to K building to try to find Fef. He remembered as soon as he walked in that her class on Tuesdays and Thursdays started at the same time as Sol's and that he would not be seeing her until after his Calculus class. He was bursting to talk to anyone, really, but everyone he knew was class right now.

He settled for sending her a message on Pesterchum and hoping she would answer.

– – _caligulasAquarium began pestering cuttlefishCuller– –_

_CA: hey fef you there_

_CA: fef_

_CA: i knoww your class isnt that interestin_

_CA: feeeeeeeeeeeeef_

_CA: pssssst_

_CA: come on answer i gotta talk to you_

_CA: its reel important_

_CA: hahahaha fish puns come on_

_CC: O)( MY COD -ERIDAN CLAM YOUR TITS_

_CA: sorry :(_

_CC: Okay, w)(at is it?_

_CC: )(ow did your date go?_

_CA: thats wwhat i wwanted to talk to you about_

_CC: U)( o)( that doesn't sound good_

_CA: actually_

_CA: it wwent pretty wwell to be honest_

_CA: um_

_CC: O)( R-E-ELY? W) (appened? 38D_

_CA: dinner movie just like i said_

_CA: then he pranked me_

_CC: W)(AT DID )(-E DO?_

_CA: put toothpaste in my shampoo_

_CC: O)( my cod t)(at is too funny_

_CC: T)(en w) (appened?_

_CA: idk then wwe wwent to bed an wwoke up idk_

_CC: You went to bed_

_CA: yes_

_CA: wwait_

_CA: not like that_

_CC: So no fun times? 38C disappointing_

_CA: wwell not after i showwered_

_CA: but there wwas a bit before_

_CC: Do tell!_

_CA: um wwell i didnt havve sex wwith him but_

_CC: BUT_

_CA: but it came pretty close_

_CC: W)(ale w)(ale w)(ale_

_CA: wwhat_

_CC: Looks like someone isn't as t)(oug)(t as )(e straig)(t )(e was!_

_CA: no okay i guess im not_

_CA: haha evveryone wwas right an i wwas wwrong_

_CA: or maybe its just him an i like him a lot but wwho really knowws at this point right_

_CC: Sorry 38( I didn't mean to be rude!_

_CA: its okay_

_CC: So w) (appens next? Anot)(er date?_

_CA: that wwould make sense seeing as howw_

_CA: oh yeah_

_CA: um so this morning he wwas talkin to cro an you knoww howw cro gets_

_CC: You mean obnoxious?_

_CA: yeah_

_CA: an like hes been doin for the last feww days_

_CA: he referred to sol as my boyfriend an sol wwas like wwait wwhat_

_CA: so wwhen i finally got him awway from cro sol wwas kinda freakin out about it a little_

_CA: that sounds bad_

_CA: he wwasnt freakin out but he wwas definitely ovverthinkin the significance of evverythin cro said_

_CA: an hes like am i your boyfriend an_

_CA: long story short_

_CA: hes my boyfriend_

_CA: fef you there_

_CA: hello_

_CA: big earth shatterin newws bomb drops on your head an you fuckin disappear wwhat the hell is goin on_

_CC: SORRY_

_CC: I )(AD TO RUN TO T)(-E BAT)(ROOM TO )(ID-E MY -EXCIT-ED SQU-EALING_

_CC: AND INFORM N-EP-ETA SO SH-E CAN UPDAT-E )(-ER S)(IPPING WALL_

_CC: O)( MY COD BOYFRONDS B-EST_

_CA: calm dowwn_

_CA: her wwhat wwall_

_CC: Dave told me t)(at Jo)(n said t)(at Nepeta )(as a s)(ipping wall w)(ere she keeps track of w)(o's dating w)(o_

_CC: And apparently even s)(e saw t)(e sexual tension between you and Sollux because s)(e's been anticipating somet)(ing like t)(is for aw)(ile_

_CA: okay no_

_CA: there hasnt been any sexual tension between me an sol at all_

_CA: thats just bullshit an_

_CA: evven as im typin it i knoww its a lie wwhat the hell_

_CA: wwait_

_CA: you said davve told you_

_CC: Yes_

_CA: since wwhen do you talk to davve_

_CC: Since_

_CC: Idk, t)(e trip up to your )(ouse? We talked in t)(e car a lot. )(e's really cool and really funny_

_CA: oh okay_

_CA: so that wwas my big newws i guess_

_CA: also sols wwalkin around in my clothes today_

_CC: W)(y?_

_CA: wwe wwere both too distracted to do laundry_

_CA: so yeah_

_CC: So w)(at you're saying is_

_CC: )(e's in your pants_

_CA: yeah hes in my pants_

_CA: an also my shirt_

_CA: but nothin else since he opted to go commando today_

_CC: Okay I be-reef t)(at was a bit more info than I needed..._

_CA: sorry_

_CA: wwhen does your class end again_

_CA: im wwaist deep in calculus an fuck this shit_

_CC: It ends at ten. Almost done. Lunc)( after, right?_

_CA: yeah thats wwhat i wwas thinkin_

_CA: wwhere do you wwanna go_

_CC: T)(at depends. Is your boyfrond coming along?_

_CA: i dont havve a_

_CA: wwait_

_CA: i forgot i actually do O.o_

_CA: this is trippy_

_CA: an no his next class starts at ten thirty so i probably wwont be able to see him til after school_

_CA: holy carp_

_CC: W)(at_

_CA: i havve a boyfriend :D_

_CC: Quit bragging 38D (pretend t)(at's a winking face)_

_CA: so seriously noww wwhere are wwe goin for lunch_

_CC: Seriously_

_CA: seriously_

_CC: Seriously_

_CA: siriusly_

_CC: 38D )(ow about Subway? I'm down for a sandwitch_

_CA: boooooooo_

_CC: Are you booing my suggestion or my lame pun?_

_CA: take a wwild guess_

_CC: I'm supportive of )(ow you c)(oose to live your life. T)(-E L-EAST YOU COULD DO IS -EXT-END M-E T)(-E SAM-E COURT-ESY!_

_CA: fef there is a big difference between horrible fish puns an two guys mackin on each other_

_CA: the eighth commandment is thou shalt not use really bad puns in evveryday convversations or somethin_

_CC: 38P no but seriously let's go to Subway, okay?_

_CA: siriusly_

_CC: Sirius Lee_

– – _caligulasAquarium ceased pestering cuttlefishCuller– –_

**_END ACT 51._ **


	52. Act 52

Nepeta let out a squeak and covered her mouth with her hand, staring at her phone. Aradia couldn't tell if it was horror or excitement on her face, but even Equius paused in the middle of typing something on his laptop to peer at her over the screen.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Nepeta flung her phone out at arm's length and pointed to the screen.

"That's probably a 'no'," Aradia said. "Nepeta, calm down. What's the problem?"

Nepeta opened and closed her mouth several times but seemed otherwise incapable of communication.

"Um. Do you mind?" Aradia asked, gesturing to Nepeta's phone. After she got no response, she reached over and gently tugged at it, and Nepeta released it. "Oh-kay, then..." The screen had gone dark by then, so she had to hit the power button to wake it up again. As soon as the screen lit up again, the text message Nepeta had been reading popped up.

_From: Feferi P._

_O)(H MY COD N-EP-ETA, -ERIDAN JUST TOLD M-E. )(E AND SOLLUX AR-E OFFICIALLY BOYFRONDS!_

Aradia let out a squeak and covered her mouth with her hand, staring at Nepeta's phone. After a second, she managed to tear her eyes away and lock gazes with Nepeta, who nodded at her furiously, eyes still wide.

"What? What happened?" Equius asked, looking from Nepeta to Aradia and back.

Aradia finally slid Nepeta's phone back across the table and pulled out her own phone. "So _apparently_ , my so-called best friend deigned _not_ to tell me that he suddenly has a boyfriend and I had to find out through _third-hand_ information—dear Lord." She sent a caps-lock-filled message to Sollux. _S0, TELL ME, ANYTHING EXCITING HAPPEN THAT I NEED T0 KN0W AB0UT?_

"Sollux has a boyfriend?"

"This is brand-new information!" Nepeta screeched. "I need to update my shipping wall!"

"Who is he dating now?"

Aradia and Nepeta exchanged half-frustrated, half-amused glances. "Remember who he was macking on basically all weekend?" Aradia asked.

"Eridan? I thought he was straight."

Nepeta gave him a sympathetic look, covering her mouth for a second. "Oh, hon. No," she said, shaking her head.

"Okay. Well, that's good then, right? Why the... freaking out?" Equius asked, as if grappling for a better term.

"Be _claws_! Be _claws_... Aradia, help me out here."

"Be _claws—_ I mean, because Nepeta needs to update her shipping wall?" she guessed helplessly.

"Be _claws_ this is a big step for Eridan—he _thought_ he was straight for a long time! And now he has a boy _fur_ iend! This is very good!"

"Right, that too. Although why Sollux didn't see fit to tell me..."

"Maybe he wants to keep it downplayed right now?" Nepeta suggested. "He isn't sure how okay Eridan is with all of it. He doesn't want to make a big thing of it if Eridan is going to drop him in a week or something."

"Do you think that's going to happen, though?"

Nepeta thought about it and shook her head. "He told Feferi about it. He's serious enough about it to tell her at least. If he's having second thoughts, they're probably very minor."

"Well, I hope so," Aradia murmured. She looked at her phone, as if she could magically see Sollux on the screen. She was happy for them, but she hoped Eridan didn't end up breaking Sollux's heart. She'd already seen it once, and witnessing it again would be even worse.

* * *

_S0, TELL ME, ANYTHING EXCITING HAPPEN THAT I NEED T0 KN0W AB0UT?_

Sollux sighed at the text message and put his phone away. He had no idea _how_ , but Aradia had found out—most likely. The message had been purposefully vague. Whether Aradia actually knew or not remained to be seen.

But either way, he wanted to tell her in person. This was big news—just a few weeks ago, Sollux had basically hated Eridan's guts, and now he was _dating_ the guy. If that wasn't a wild flip, he didn't know what was.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, trying to pay attention, but his thoughts kept wandering. For one thing, his classmates kept looking at him as if they'd never seen him before—sure, he typically just wore loose jeans and game-related T-shirts, but you'd think with a button-down shirt, he'd suddenly been transformed into a completely different person. He wasn't sure how he felt about all the attention. Surely other people had better things to do with their time than ogle him, right? Like listening to the lecture, for one. But apparently his appearance was so distracting that barely a minute went by without at least one classmate visibly turning to look at him.

He desperately craved a distraction, so he pulled out his phone and tried to figure out who to text. Aradia was out—he would talk to her later. Dave was a possibility—if all else failed, he might shoot him a text. Eridan? As much as Sollux wanted to talk to him, he also didn't want to seem clingy. Equius... the guy wasn't bad, but aside from the prank he'd helped Sollux pull, they didn't have much to talk about. Feferi was another possibility if he wanted to get bombarded with fish puns. Gamzee—oh, _Hell_ no. John? Probably not. Kanaya—maybe. He'd see. Karkat wasn't even in the running, not right now. Mituna would be a huge mistake, too, plus the very thought of trying to decipher his garbled leet-speak gave him a headache. Nepeta would probably cat-pun him to death or beat him for information—he had no doubt that she somehow knew that he and Eridan had a date. Tavros—again, not a bad guy, but Sollux didn't have much (if anything) in common with him. Terezi... yeah, he had a whole conversation planned out for her, but it was another one he'd have to have in person—probably tomorrow during their computer class.

Well, Dave it was.

_apparently a wardrobe change ii2 enough two render otherwii2e-2en2iible people 2tupiid_

His phone buzzed thirty seconds after he sent the message. Dave had already replied?

_what are you talking about_

_ii may be dre22ed 2liightly diifferent from normal_

_different how_

Sollux made a face and subtly snapped a picture. _that2 how_

_i didnt even know you owned a shirt like that_

_ii dont iit2 ed2_

_excuse me_

_2orry iit2 eriidan2 2hiirt not miine_

_why are you wearing his shirt_

_ii may have 2pent the niight at hii2 place la2t niight_

_oh cool. well i can kind of understand but it sounds like people are just being overly dramatic losers_

_probably_

Sollux didn't get a text back from Dave, which he expected, so he just put his head down and ignored the looks. Still, even as he felt himself recoiling from the attentions of his classmates, he couldn't help but smile as he remembered the long once-over Eridan had given him that morning or the sheer hotness of just wearing Eridan's clothes.

He ran his fingers through his hair. Like it or not, he had it bad for Eridan.

* * *

Rose shook out the scarf she was knitting. Admittedly, it didn't really get cold enough in southern California to warrant scarves, but her mother had a flair for the dramatic. Besides, her and her mother's petty game of mother-daughter one-upmanship hadn't quite died out.

The scarf was pink with a red heart knitted at either end. In the middle, she'd managed to work her knitting magic so the word _MOM_ was spelled out in purple. It was easily seven feet long, and she figured that was good enough.

"You know, if I didn't know this was a pathetic gesture to infuriate your mother, I would say you actually cared about her," Kanaya observed, joking lightly.

She and Rose were at the campus coffee shop. Kanaya had drained her double-chocolate-chip frappucino ("I dislike the taste of coffee," she said upon seeing the look Rose gave her after she ordered), but Rose's venti caramel-flavored coffee had long since grown cold.

"I know. It's a very clever ruse, isn't it?" Rose set the scarf in her bag and went to the counter. She needed a new coffee. Fortunately, Roxy was behind the register today, looking (or at least acting) halfway sober for once.

"Hey, sis," Roxy said happily. "What'll it be?"

"The same thing I got last time."

Roxy squinted like Rose was telling a joke. "Which was what?"

_Not that sober, then._ Actually, Rose wasn't quite sure what Roxy was even like fully-sober. "Venti caramel Columbian."

"Big-ass cocaine! Shotta speed!" Roxy called to Jane, who waved in acknowledgment and set about preparing the coffee.

"I didn't ask for an espresso shot."

"Nah, but you need one. I can tell. Big sister is always watching," Roxy added, widening her eyes and tilting her head to the side.

Rose sighed. "Yes, you're probably right."

"What about your girlfriend? She want anything else?"

Rose turned and called to Kanaya, "Hey, you want another?"

Kanaya regarded her empty cup for a moment. "If you purchase it, I will consume it."

"Okay. Another one of those. Venti bouble-chocolate-chip frappucino," she added before Roxy could ask.

"Sure thing." Roxy looked over her shoulder again. "Chocolate overload with whip! Big as you got 'em! Ten-twelve," she added to Rose.

Rose handed her the cash and walked back to her seat. "I'm surprised my sister was cognizant enough to get our orders correct."

"She functions at a higher state than most people."

Rose almost choked on nothing. " _Her_? She's drunk eighty percent of the time."

"I'm aware. But if she wasn't, she'd be very brilliant."

"Are we talking about the same person?"

"Your sister, Roxy. You're the psychologist-in-training. What do you deduce about her alcoholic tendencies?"

Rose sighed. "I try not to, but okay. She followed our mother's example by beginning to drink shortly after the start of high school. It was never a problem because my mother always employed chauffeurs for us and my sister kept her drinking to after school hours. However, in the consequence-free environment that is our home, her alcohol addiction flourished and now she's here, working at the coffee shop of a college she once attended."

Kanaya nodded thoughtfully. "An astute observation, to be certain, but I believe that's a callous assessment. I do not doubt your version of your events, but I dispute the reasoning. Your sister to me seems like a brilliant person. Your mother as well."

"My mother was an astrophysicist until she retired."

"My point exactly. No doubt you and your sister have always been aware of your mother's intelligence."

"Of course."

"Orders for Rose and Kanaya!" Jane called. Kanaya and Rose both got up to retrieve their drinks.

"Listen to me," Kanaya said as they sat back down. You and your sister are both highly intelligent as well. Your sister is the older child, and so she desired to emulate your mother. She began drinking to follow your mother's example, this is true, but let me ask you this: before she began drinking, how were her grades and her social life?"

"Straight A's, few friends to my knowledge."

"And now?"

"College dropout with... well, actually, quite a few friends."

"Exactly. Her drinking in high school, while adversely affecting her grades, positively affected her popularity. After what was eight years of being the perfect child, she wanted something different—plus, I suspect, her intelligence is so high that she felt she was intimidating her new-found friends and drank to bring her down to their level. I'm not condoning her actions at all, but I believe them to be founded in something other than pure alcoholism.

"You, on the other hand, as the younger child, saw the way drinking affected both your mother and your sister, and decided _not_ to follow their example."

"I didn't drink for the longest time, and now the only thing I drink is wine."

"Exactly. You've begun to realize yourself that alcohol isn't inherently bad. So. Does any of this make sense?"

Rose sipped from her coffee and thought it over. "It does, actually. A little. So what are you saying?"

"Understanding the root of the problem will help address it."

"But is it my place to intervene in my family's drinking problems?"

"That's for you to decide. Maybe try to find Roxy when she's sober—or as sober as she gets. Talk to her then. Maybe, right now, the addiction is all physical and not mental at all. It will make the helping easier—not much, but a little."

Rose looked over at Roxy, who was giggling at something Jane said. She had been worried about her sister for a long time...

"Yeah, I think I should. And maybe try to talk to my mom, too."

"That might also be a good start," Kanaya said, nodding.


	53. Act 53

When Sollux next saw Aradia, he knew she'd be understandably frantic. Well, _frantic_ wasn't the right word, but it was the first one that came to mind. She'd be eager to talk to him, anyway.

So he waited until after his last class of the day to go and see her. He figured waiting would be better since she'd no doubt want to pick apart every little detail of the night before, and since he _had_ promised her those, the longer he had, the better.

"Sollux Elaine Captor!" she screamed the moment she caught sight of him.

"Um, excuse you." He set his backpack down next to the only unoccupied seat, stuck in between Aradia and Nepeta, across from Equius, and slouched down in the seat. "That's not my middle name."

"Then what _is_?"

"Angela, _duh_." Aradia and Nepeta cracked up, and even Equius smiled at the joke. "No, but seriously, that needs to stop."

"What? Shouting fake middle names in public?"

"Exactly."

"Maybe I _wouldn't_ if you didn't piss me off so much."

"How did I piss you off?" Sollux asked, knowing full well what she was talking about.

"It's called a text message, and you should answer yours."

"I figured it was a conversation best had in person." He glanced at Nepeta and Equius. With them here, he certainly wasn't about to delve into the more intimate details of his date with Eridan. Hell, he wasn't even sure he wanted to tell Aradia everything that had happened. Right now, he kind of wanted to keep it to himself, as if by admitting aloud what had happened, it would dispel the dream.

Besides, he didn't know what Eridan had told Feferi, and he didn't want to give away anything Eridan might not be comfortable with.

"You look nice," Nepeta said slyly, breaking into the conversation.

_Wha—oh._ Sollux was forcibly reminded that he was, in fact, wearing Eridan's clothes. He'd actually forgotten. "Um. Thanks."

"Are these _Eridan's_?" Aradia asked, plucking at the shirt.

"Yeah. My clothes didn't..." _Whoops._ That was getting into the realm of no return.

"Didn't what?" Nepeta asked, appearing innocent, but he recognized that tone of voice as anything _but_ innocent.

"Didn't get washed," Sollux finished.

"Sollux. Why would you need to wash your clothes?"

"I took a shower."

"Why would you need to take a shower?"

"Because I hadn't showered all day?"

"Hush, Neps, I know all about what happened with him and Eridan. I'm more interested in why he didn't tell me that he and Eridan are now boyfriends."

Sollux set his forehead on the table. "Again, a conversation better had in person. Besides, it just happened this morning." It was still fragile. He was afraid that if he grabbed on too tightly, it would shatter in his hands. He just wanted to preserve it in case it was gone tomorrow.

Aradia let out a delighted squeak and gave him an awkward side-hug. "I'm so happy for you! But you should have told me!"

"I didn't know he was going to tell FF and that she was going to tell NP and you were going to find out before _I_ could tell _you_." It still seemed surreal. He was wearing Eridan's clothes and he'd spent the night before in Eridan's bed, but all of it hadn't quite sunken in yet. He did know that he wished Eridan was there with him, and even admitting it to himself made him want to hide for a week.

Aradia pouted, having to content herself with a logical answer she didn't like, and said, "Well, Halloween is on Thursday. We need to figure out what we're going to do. All the good costumes will probably be gone already."

Sollux finally straightened up. "I can just be what I am every other day of the year," he said.

"A condescending killjoy?" Aradia half-joked.

"Yeah, that."

"No. You need a costume. It's Halloween," she insisted. "Neps, what are you—? Wait. Nope, I bet I can guess. You're going to be a cat."

"Close! I'm going to be a lion!" Nepeta announced proudly. "With a big mane and everything!"

"I'm certain you'll be the _mane_ event," Equius deadpanned, taking Sollux by surprise. He'd almost forgotten Equius was there, and the pun had come out of seemingly nowhere.

"You're going with her, right?" Aradia asked Equius.

Equius nodded solemnly.

"And you're going to be in costume, too?"

"Most certainly."

"And what will you be this year?"

"The same thing I am every year. A humanoid horse."

Nepeta choked on a giggle and Sollux said, "So, basically, you're _not_ wearing a costume."

Equius definitely grinned at that. "I suppose the only difference will be the addition of a tail."

Aradia closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "Right. So the point is, you have to come trick-or-treating with us. You can bring your boyfriend and fish-girl along with us, too. I'm sure they'll get a kick out of it."

"I'm inviting John!" Nepeta added cheerily.

"Right, so it'll be basically a redux of last weekend, but better since we'll all be in costume," Aradia said. "So you _have_ to think of something."

"Fuck. What was I last year?"

"A bee. And the year before that. And I think _every_ year since you were two."

"Right. I'll just do that again."

Aradia heaved a sigh and looked at her watch. "Well, I suppose it's too close to crunch time to argue with you about it, but _next year_. Next year, we are starting to plan this extravaganza in fucking September, and you will _not_ be a bee again."

"No, you're right about that. Next year, I'll be a drunk bee."

"That's not what I meant."

"I think we should all be drunk next year."

"We can be drunk this year," Nepeta suggested.

"Nepeta," Equius said warningly, but she batted at his face with her sleeve.

"Shoosh!"

"Public intoxication, especially while underage," he started again, but he was cut off again when she took her hat off and jammed it over his face.

"Hush, _Meow_ ster Buzzkill!"

"He has a point," Aradia said. "Getting drunk before we go out is probably not a smart idea, but after we get back to someone's house or apartment or whatever, I think that would be just fine."

"This seems to be a suitable compromise," Equius agreed.

Nepeta _hmmf_ ed in annoyance but saw the logic in what they said, so she nodded. "Alright, _fine_. We'll do it your way."

That still left Sollux with having to somehow locate his bee costume in the bottomless pit that was his closet.

When his phone buzzed a few minutes later, he checked it as surreptitiously as he could.

_hey sol im doin laundry tonight so you got twwo options you can come ovver an get your clothes yourself or i can bring em to school tomorroww its up to you_

He bit his lip and glanced up at the other three before answering. _ii cant beliieve that2 a legiitiimate que2tiion ii wiill take any excu2e two baiil on the2e p2ycho2_

_wwho are you wwith_

_AA, NP, and EQ and the conver2atiion now revolve2 around halloween plan2_

_oh shit that is comin up isnt it fuck_

_yeah btw AA 2aiid you and FF could come wiith u2_

_come wwith you wwhere exactly_

_uh we may or may not be goiing triick or treatiing_

_are you serious_

_yeah ii mean ii diidnt even want to go 2iince the only co2tume ii have ii2 the 2ame bee co2tume iive worn for the la2t liike two year2 but 2he talked me iinto it_

_bee costume_

_yeah_

_youre tellin me youre gonna be dressin up like a little bumblebee for hallowween_

_uh yeah ii gue22 2o_

_okay yeah i definitely havve to see this. count me in_

_ii hope youre not ju2t comiing to laugh at me_

_nah ill wwear a costume too just not a bumblebee costume_

_ii can ea2iily change iit to a wa2p all ii need two do ii2 make a 2tiinger and then youre all fucked_

_you couldnt intimidate anyone wwhether you had a stinger or not_

_that2 iit you are the fiir2t per2on iim goiing two 2tiing_

_i wwould lovve to see you try_

_um diid that ju2t get awkward or wa2 iit ju2t me_

_no that wwas a little awwkwward_

_okay moviing on thiink FF wiill want to joiin iin_

_most likely since shes alwways goin on about howw wwe need to get out an do shit_

_alriight well NP ii2 iinviitiing john two come wiith us 2o iim a22umiing iit2 an open iinviitatiion two briing other people two_

_im sure thatll thrill her. my art history class ends in about fivve minutes so unless you had any reason you wwanted to hang back wwe can head ovver to my place right after a wword from our sponsors_

_what_

_sorry lame attempt at humor_

_oh okay yeah um iill ju2t leave the2e people now then what buiildiing are you iin_

_c buildin_

_k brt_

Sollux stuffed his phone back in his pocket, grabbed the strap of his backpack, and stood up.

"Whoa, where are you going?" Aradia asked.

"Um, ED's about to get out of class and he's bringing me back to his apartment so I can get my clothes."

She smirked suddenly. "I see. Will you be heading home afterward or spending another fun-filled evening at Mr. Boyfriend Ampora's place?"

Sollux sucked in a deep breath through his nose, said, "Okay, goodbye," and turned around.

"You can't leave me in the dark forever!" she called after him.

"I'm not leaving you in the dark! I'm choosing to enlighten you at a later point in time!" But now that she'd asked, he was wondering, too. _Would_ he be spending the night at Eridan's again? Maybe, but it was too early to know for sure. Maybe he would just be picking up his clothes and heading home.

But if Eridan invited him to stay, he wouldn't say no. He could definitely handle spending another night eating takeout and watching movies and making out and maybe fooling around some more with Eridan.

He lurked outside of C Building and waited for Eridan to emerge, unable to suppress the feeling that he was being a bit creepy even though Eridan knew he was waiting for him and it was perfectly okay. Only a few minutes had gone by when the door opened and he turned, fully expecting to see Eridan.

Instead, there was Vriska Serket and some girl Sollux didn't know with long, dark hair, round glasses, and a nice smile despite the buckteeth she hadn't quite grown out of. He reacted without conscious control, leaping behind a short row of bushes and hiding.

Vriska was laughing at something the other girl had said, and then Vriska actually put her arm around her. Sollux blinked—something about this was messed-up. This girl needed to be warned what an evil spider-bitch Vriska was.

_Unless she's as evil as Vriska is_ , he realized. Maybe this girl _knew_ and that was why they'd become such fast friends—and they clearly were friends. Unless Vriska was an exceptionally good faker (which he supposed was plausible), she genuinely seemed to like the other girl.

_This is not good._ If there was another evil bitch running around campus, all of Vriska's exes needed to be warned before this other girl started something. Sollux certainly hadn't seen her before, and it was entirely possible that no one else was familiar with her, too.

Vriska and the other girl had barely disappeared from sight when the doors opened again and Eridan strode out amid a crush of others, presumably classmates of his. Eridan looked around, appearing perplexed, before pulling out his phone.

Sollux stood up and picked his way out from behind the shrubs. "Hey," he said casually, as if he didn't have foliage stuck in his hair (and he was sure he actually did).

Eridan looked from Sollux to the bushes and back. "Dude, what the fuck were you doin' back there?"

"Uh. Hiding."

"From... me?"

"No, from Vriska."


	54. Act 54

Eridan blinked, as if unsure of what to make of Sollux's information. "Vris?" he asked finally. "Where was she?"

Sollux gestured vaguely to the building. "Um. She came out of there. And she had someone with her—another girl. They looked pretty friendly."

Eridan looked at Sollux's shoes for a moment, chewing on a knuckle. "Well," he said slowly, "she hasn't come up to talk to me since last week so maybe she's focusin' on someone else."

"That 'someone else' needs to know what she's getting into," Sollux said gently.

"You know who she was?"

Sollux shook his head.

"Well, keep your eyes open an' see if you notice her around campus, I guess. Aside from that, what can you do?"

Sollux looked off in the direction that Vriska and the other girl had gone. They'd completely disappeared from view, and Eridan was right—he had no idea who the other girl was. He'd have to content himself with Eridan's suggestion and hope he encountered the other girl, whoever she was, by herself sometime soon. "Alright, well, ready to go?"

Eridan downed the last of his coffee and tossed the cup in the trash can next to the building entrance. "Yeah, you?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Sollux hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder and followed a half a step behind Eridan to his car even though he knew where it was, since it was exactly where he'd parked it that morning. Eridan seemed to be caving in on himself, hunching over as they walked, and Sollux had a crazy impulse to grab his hand, but he resisted. That was probably stupid, and for all he knew, it might make Eridan feel worse. He shoved his hands in his pockets and didn't say anything.

* * *

The fact that Vriska had been that close to him without his knowledge had stunned him, for sure. A cold chill coursed through him as Sol told him what had happened, but he tried to hide it. He probably didn't do too good of a job, but he tried. It wasn't that he still liked her—in fact, it was quite the opposite. He wanted nothing to do with her. But she'd hurt him, and something like that was hard to forget. Time had eased it, deadened the pain, but her reemergence and the fact that he could theoretically run into her almost anywhere had reawakened the hurt.

Sol didn't make him feel like that, though. Being with him was so much easier than being with her—even from the beginning, Vriska had seemed to be holding something back, like she didn't even see him as a person, but he'd been a stupid eighteen-year-old who'd been more preoccupied with his still-intact virginity than with people who actually cared about him, and he'd paid the price for it. But now, although Sol also seemed a bit withdrawn, it wasn't the same as she'd been. Eridan was pretty sure Sol was still a bit skittish, afraid to push anything too far. He didn't want to get too far into something that could end just as quickly and abruptly as it had begun, and Eridan sympathized with that. Of course, he could have been completely wrong about that—it was entirely possible that Sol was genuinely standoffish and didn't really like him, but he tried not to entertain that notion. Mostly, he just wished he could grab Sol's hand, but he'd already put his hands in his pockets and effectively killed that prospect.

All he knew was that he didn't feel so bad when Sol was around, and he wanted to be around Sol as much as possible. It was easier. Sol made him laugh. He drove Eridan nuts sometimes, but he found something to laugh at, too.

"So," he said once they were back in his car, "are you really gonna be a bee for Halloween?"

"Yes," Sol said stubbornly.

"How do you not have any other costumes besides a bee costume?" Then he realized what he was asking. "How do you even _have_ a bee costume?"

Sol rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses. "I should probably be a drunk bee _this_ year."

"I've never seen a drunk bee."

"There's videos on YouTube. They're actually pretty funny."

"I return to my previous questions. How do you have a bee costume an' no other costumes?"

Sol shrugged. "I think I've been a bee every year since I knew what Halloween was. I never wanted to be anything else. They fly around, they sting people who annoy them, they build really cool hives, and they make honey. What's not to like?"

"The buzzin'?"

"It's calming."

"Maybe for you," Eridan laughed. "Mostly I just find it annoyin'. An' the stingin' kinda sucks if you're on the receivin' end a' it."

"That's why you don't piss off bees. Seems pretty obvious to me."

"Or they could just not buzz around my damn face," Eridan grumbled.

"Bad bee experience?"

"It stung right below my fuckin' eye," he said, rubbing reflexively at the spot.

Sol covered his laugh. "And what were you doing to incur the wrath of this bee?"

Eridan sulked for a minute. "I don't know, I was six. Probably bein' a dumbshit six-year-old."

"That seems to be a theme."

"Shut up," Eridan said, but he was smiling.

"So if _your_ costume is so superior, what are you going to be?"

"Maybe I'll show you. Maybe you'll have to wait until Halloween to find out," he said mischievously.

"Oh, I see, you're going to be a huge dick for Halloween."

Eridan let out a snicker.

"Oh, come on, that's not what I meant."

"I didn't say anything—I can't help where your mind went," Eridan said innocently.

Sol rolled his eyes but grinned.

* * *

This time, when they got to Eridan's apartment, Cronus was sitting on the sofa, watching TV with his feet kicked up on the coffee table. He took one look at the two of them before his face split into a wide grin. "Hey, look, the boyfriend's back!"

"Shut up," Eridan grumbled, grabbing Sol's hand and dragging him through the living room and away from his older brother, but he was pretty sure Sol was smiling a little.

"No funny business now!" Cronus called after them as Eridan's bedroom door slammed behind them.

"He's jokin'," Eridan said, reluctantly letting go of Sol's hand and setting his backpack on his bed. "I hope," he added quietly.

Sol let his backpack drop to the floor. "Laundry?"

"Yeah, we should probably get on that." Eridan glanced at the bed—that _definitely_ needed to be washed, too. "Can you help me strip the sheets?"

They pointedly ignored the looks Cronus shot them as they dragged the laundry basket full of bedding and clothes through the living room and out the door. Once the door closed behind them, Eridan felt a little less awkward—his neighbors didn't know him very well and wouldn't immediately guess why he happened to be washing his sheets—but he couldn't imagine how Sol was feeling. "Sorry this is such a shitty second date," he said as they hefted the basket into the laundry room.

"Compared to the first, it does leave something to be desired," Sol joked. He paused in front of one of the washing machines and opened the lid.

Eridan glanced up at him, and sure enough, Sol was looking at him with a shy almost-smile. Once Eridan caught his eye, he quickly looked down and started tossing clothes into the washing machine.

Eridan lobbed a balled-up T-shirt into the washer before pulling out his sheets and loading them into the washer next to it. He went to the laundry detergent vending machine (he normally used his own detergent, but he'd forgotten it in his room and he really didn't feel like going back up to get it), picked two Tides, and put one into the washer along with his sheets. He started up the washer and went back to helping Sol load up the other one, and once they were finished with that, he dropped the other container of Tide into the washer and started it up. The whole time, he kept looking up at Sol and meeting his eyes through those ridiculous bicolored glasses of his and Sol kept looking down and then back up and Eridan could just tell that they were both thinking the same thing: they really needed to start kissing, and soon. The tension between them was mounting and all Eridan really wanted to do was back Sol up against the closest wall or maybe sit him on one of the washing machines and kiss him, but he forced himself to behave anyway. There wasn't anyone in the laundry room besides them, but he supposed anyone could have just walked in and, while he didn't mind if his neighbors gossiped, he didn't want any of them to complain to building management about the two gay boys who'd been nearly fucking in the laundry room.

"Well, that'll be like a' hour," Eridan said. "Might as well wait upstairs an' get some food in the meantime."

"This was all just a carefully-constructed ruse to get me back here, wasn't it?" Sol joked.

"Like I need one a' those to get the pleasure a' your company."

Sol laughed and Eridan looked at him and realized that any time now would be the perfect time to kiss him. Witty bantering was being exchanged, they were alone, he was pretty sure Sol wanted to—he was leaning closer to him than normal and his head was hardly ever more than a foot from Eridan's—but he didn't. He could tell Sol wasn't about to make that move himself; he was waiting for Eridan to initiate it, which he appreciated, but right now, if Sol were to swoop in and instigate another round of sloppy makeouts, Eridan definitely wouldn't push him away.

Last night had been different—he felt it. Last night, there hadn't been this label of "boyfriends" to complicate things. He wasn't sure why, but somehow, that label had brought along with it the expectation of something to happen, and now, both of them wanted the other to start that something. It was strange.

He hit the up button for the elevator, and the two of them waited in a comfortable silence for the elevator doors to open and Eridan to hit the button for his floor and the doors to close, and then Eridan decided in a split second that he needed to not be worried about what whatever it was he was worried about, and he grabbed Sol by the collar and kissed him hard. Almost immediately, his hand went to the back of Eridan's head to keep their mouths together and Eridan's heartbeat was rising by the second, rising with the elevator, and when had he ended up with his back to the wall? He slid his fingers beneath the collar of Sol's shirt—well, _his_ shirt, since Sol was just wearing it, but damn, he made it look _good_ , far better than he'd ever done—and Sol exhaled sharply into Eridan's mouth (when had he parted his lips? Was it right around the time Sol had run his tongue across them? Was that really all it took to get him to respond like this?) and pressed his whole upper body against Eridan's but he needed something more, he needed Sol to touch him, but before he could voice it, the elevator slowed and stopped and the doors slid open and they disentangled themselves and went down the hall to the apartment.

"Hey, you plannin' on orderin' dinner?" Eridan asked Cronus the moment they walked in, as if thirty seconds before, Sol's tongue hadn't been shoved down his throat. He wondered if he was as flushed as he felt.

"Thought about gettin' burritos," Cronus said. If he suspected something, he didn't say it. "They make vegetarian burritos, right?"

"Depends on where you get 'em from," Eridan said.

"Ah."

"Okay, well, whenever you plan on orderin' somethin', let us know, okay?"

Cronus grinned. "Is Boyfriend stayin' for dinner again?"

Eridan groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Yes, Boyfriend is stayin' for dinner again. Come on, Boyfriend," he added, taking Sol by the hand again and leading him (although by now, that was probably unnecessary) to his bedroom.

Sol was definitely grinning this time.


	55. Act 55

As soon as the door closed behind them, Sol was chuckling nervously. "He's—" he started, probably about to comment on Cronus's behavior, but Eridan was pretty anxious to resume their elevator shenanigans because he cut Sol off by capturing his mouth again, sinking his fingers into Sol's hair. Sol let out a faint gasp of surprise (Eridan didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing that sound) before cupping Eridan's face, knocking both of their glasses off-kilter, and returning the kiss just as eagerly as he received it. Finally, it felt like he could breathe again. His lungs didn't seem to want to work properly unless they were fighting with Sol's over the same air. Sol's lips felt soft and warm against his, and their bodies so close together made Eridan feel somehow both safe and out-of-control. He just wanted to hang onto him and kiss him until their lips bled.

He slid his fingers under the collar of the shirt Sol wore, wondering how the skin of his neck and shoulders would feel between his teeth, his hands itching to undo all those buttons, and he suddenly cursed himself for picking this shirt for him in the first place—true, he wore it well, but those buttons were going to end up being a hassle later, he could just tell. He was already so distracted that he couldn't concentrate on anything but getting Sol that much closer to him, but Sol's hands stayed firmly above his shoulders no matter where Eridan's hands strayed—and stray they did. He ran one hand down Sol's side and back up under his shirt, lightly scratching his nails along his side and enjoying the shudder that ran through Sol's body. At first, Eridan thought Sol was just focusing on his neck, but even through the hormone-riddled haze in his head, it slowly became apparent that Sol didn't want to lower his hands, and for reasons he couldn't fathom, it bothered Eridan. Was Sol actually afraid to touch him too much? _Now?_

He grabbed Sol's hands and moved them to his waist, running his tongue across Sol's as he did so. "It's okay," he murmured, pulling back a half an inch for just a moment. "I'm not gonna freak out or anythin'."

"I just don't want to push you into something—"

"Sol. Listen to me. If I didn't wanna kiss you, I wouldn't be. If I didn't want your hands on me, you better believe they wouldn't be. I don't know why you think I'm not, but I'm actually okay with all this. I like you, okay? I'm not gonna push you away, so why don't you let me worry about when it's goin' too far, okay?"

Sol swallowed hard and nodded, and Eridan realized suddenly just how douchey that sounded.

"Sorry, that's not..." He sighed. "Look, Sol, I don't want you to think I'm doin' this just 'cause I feel like I have to. I like you an' I want you to... to touch me, okay? I mean, I've basically already kinda accepted the fact that, whoo-hoo, looks like I actually do like guys. You don't have to be afraid..." His voice trailed off, and that's when it clicked. It wasn't that Sol didn't want to touch him or something—he wanted to, but he was afraid to. "What happened?"

Sol sighed, let go of Eridan, and gently dropped to the edge of the sheetless bed. Eridan was strongly tempted to sit next to him, but Sol had distanced himself for a purpose, so he settled cross-legged onto the floor. "So this isn't the first time a guy used me as his gay experiment."

"Hang on, that's not—" Eridan protested, but Sol cut him off.

"Oh, yes, it was. Just because it's made it to this point, with us actually dating, doesn't change how it started. You didn't realize you liked guys until you kissed me."

_I didn't realize I liked guys until I_ met _you. It didn't take kissing you to figure that out_ , Eridan wanted to say, but he kept his mouth shut. He knew what Sol was trying to say, and loathe as he was to admit it, he was right. It made him feel like an even bigger douche than normal. There had been hints before they even kissed—his eyes on Sol longer than strictly necessary and looking forward to his stupid pranks since he so desperately craved attention and knowing that somewhere, there was someone who spent a lot of time thinking about him.

"But the first time didn't end like this," Sol went on. "It ended... pretty badly, actually. He flat-out said to me that being with me made him realize how straight he really was. And that was after two months of fucking around, so it was a pretty big slap in the face. And it was even worse since I wasn't even sure I was bi until... we started doing whatever the fuck it was that we were doing. And being with him made me realize that I _did_ like boys, so I just felt like a worthless piece of shit for the next..." His voice caught and he swallowed again. "The next year and a half. So I'm just not that anxious to rush into that kind of relationship again."

Eridan wanted to tackle Sol to the bed and cuddle him until it didn't hurt anymore. He couldn't believe someone could actually hurt Sol like that—it didn't seem possible. How could anyone willingly hurt him like that? "So who was he?"

The way Sol avoided his gaze tipped him off. "You don't want to know."

"I know him, don't I?"

"Yeah. And like I said, you don't want to know."

"I actually do."

"I don't want you to kick his ass or something. I'm over it."

"That's not why I wanna know."

"Then why? Planning on judging me for my shitty taste?"

"Jesus fuck, Sol, what the _fuck?_ Why would I do somethin' that messed-up? I mean, I'm a _little_ bit of a douche, but not on that fuckin' level. No, God, I... I just wanna make sure I treat you better than he did."

Something behind Sol's eyes softened and for a second, Eridan was pretty sure he was about to cry, but then he didn't. He just nodded. "It... it was KK."

Eridan felt like he'd been hit by a truck. "KK? Karkat? Karkat Vantas? Short and shouty?"

"Nubs McShouty, yeah," Sol confirmed with a small smile at Karkat's nickname. "We're kind of getting back on track to being friends again but it took a long time to even get here."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea."

"That was kind of the point."

Again, Eridan was swept by the urge to hug Sol, and this time, he actually did. He got up, sat down next to Sol, and put his arms around him, and after a moment of awkward maneuvering, Sol managed to wrap his arms around Eridan. He rested his head on Sol's shoulder and the two of them sat there for several long minutes, and Sollux felt immensely grateful for their proximity. Eridan had assuaged all his doubts about their physical contact and now he was just happy to enjoy the feeling of Eridan's arms around him and his arms around Eridan. It was soothing.

He became dimly aware that Eridan was nuzzling into his neck and he was pretty sure he felt lips pressing into the curve where his neck met his shoulder but he just closed his eyes and let it happen. It felt nice, and besides, he wanted to see just how far he would take it with his brother in the living room. He didn't think it would go all that far until Eridan actually bit his neck and suddenly Sollux's fingernails dug into Eridan's shoulders and he let out a tiny sound that could have been a whimper. Eridan nibbled gently on the skin of his neck and Sollux's head involuntarily tipped back, inviting further exploration. The shorter boy moved across him until he was straddling Sollux's lap, and then he began moving his teeth and lips up Sollux's neck to his jaw, his chin, his lips, and they were kissing again, open-mouthed and suddenly needy. Sollux licked every possible surface of Eridan's mouth, desperate to memorize the taste of him, and his hands found their way beneath Eridan's shirt and over his chest. He couldn't stop touching him, running his fingers over every inch of skin he could, and he felt a spark of self-satisfaction when, with one hand pressed over Eridan's heart, Sollux sucked Eridan's lower lip into his mouth and nibbled, and Eridan's heart actually skipped a beat.

Eridan started fumbling with the buttons on Sollux's shirt ( _It's still his shirt_ , he reminded himself), his already-apparent arousal clearly offsetting his coordination, and Sollux started working from the bottom up so they met in the middle. The moment the last button had been undone, Eridan shoved it open and pushed it over his shoulders, down his arms, and finally off to fling it to the side. Before Sollux could even think about removing Eridan's shirt or either of their glasses, Eridan was kissing back down Sollux's chest and he couldn't help but lean back until he was completely lying down and Eridan was scraping his teeth along Sollux's ribs.

Sollux knew he was breathing more heavily than normal and his heart was thumping hard in his chest and Eridan just kept going lower and lower and he tried not to torture himself with the thought that he was getting extremely close to his jeans and he'd gone commando that day and Eridan might be about to—

And then Eridan was unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, and _God_ , Sollux felt so much better the moment his cock was free and an involuntary moan escaped his lips when he realized that Eridan was already stroking him and all it was doing was making him harder. He closed his eyes and just let himself lose himself in Eridan until he felt a wet heat on his dick and his eyes flew open.

"Eridan," he whimpered, the other boy's name a plea. Eridan's wide purple eyes looked up, but Sollux couldn't tear his gaze away from the sight of his dick half in Eridan's mouth.

"Is this okay?" Eridan asked, completely removing Sollux's cock from between his lips before he spoke.

Sollux struggled to find the words he wanted to say. He really, _really_ wanted Eridan to suck him off, but not if Eridan wasn't fully okay with it. "You don't have to," he breathed.

"I want to," Eridan insisted. "I wanna try. Okay?"

Sollux nodded quickly and he moaned again when his cock almost completely disappeared back into Eridan's mouth. He worried for two seconds about Cronus barging in on them, catching them like this, but then Eridan's tongue began a slow, dreamy revolution around the head of his dick and he stopped caring about anything at all except how fucking _good_ it felt like this. The only thing he could focus on was Eridan, and, true, his technique was frankly shitty at times, but considering this was the first time he'd gone down on another guy, he wasn't doing too badly at all.

Still, he felt Eridan's teeth more often than he was strictly comfortable with. Sollux tried to keep his thoughts together in order to form coherent sentences, but he could only manage to gasp out, "Teeth." Somehow, though, Eridan understood what he was trying to say and his jaw dropped, hollowing his already-narrow cheeks, and his tongue ran up the underside of Sollux's dick. He groaned, the power of speech abandoning him, and all he could utter was a formless string of vowels that he hoped sounded like praise or encouragement.

Eridan's head started bobbing faster up and down Sollux's shaft and he balled his hands into fists, struggling to grab sheets before remembering that they were in the washing machine downstairs, and he felt a telltale heat pooling in his belly and he knew he had to warn Eridan— _Hey, ED, I'm about to jizz, so you might want to change your method if you don't want to get a mouth full of it—_ but his brain was already half-melted and all he could manage was, "Oh, God, ED, gonna... I'm gonna... oh, _yeah_..." before he came, reduced to just sounds and so far beyond caring if Cronus caught them that he almost hoped he would. _Yep, your little brother just sucked my cock. What are_ you _going to do about it?_

His vision returned gradually, but when he could finally take in his surroundings, there was Eridan—Sollux hadn't noticed until now, but he'd sunk to his knees on the floor between Sollux's spread legs—still on the floor with a huge grin on his face. He playfully wiped at the corner of his mouth and asked, "So I did good?"

Sollux very nearly laughed. "Yeah. You did great."

"Great." Eridan crawled over him, lightly biting at Sollux's shoulder and neck but carefully avoiding kissing him. He seemed to sense that he needed to brush his teeth now that his mouth tasted like Sollux's come. For a few moments, they lay there, and Sollux was just starting to contemplate returning the favor when there came a loud knock and Cronus was calling through the door, "Hey, you guys ready to eat?"

_Well,_ that's _not going to happen anytime soon._

"Uh, yeah," Eridan said, trying to adopt a casual air. "If you open that door, I will kill you. Just give us like five minutes an' we'll be right out."

Cronus sounded highly amused, as if he could tell what they'd just been doing. "No rush. No rush at all."

"Oh, my God," Eridan muttered. "I cannot believe his shitty timing."

"It could have been worse," Sollux pointed out. "He could have interrupted us in the middle of something."

"We _were_ in the middle of something."

"We were at a stopping point." Sollux quickly nipped at Eridan's neck. "But don't worry," he added quietly, right into his ear. "We're definitely going to pick up where we left off later."

Eridan grinned, a thrill of anticipation running down his spine. "I can't wait."


	56. Act 56

Eridan took thirty seconds to rinse with mouthwash—he didn't want to risk brushing his teeth lest he arouse his brother's suspicion. He didn't doubt that Cronus at least suspected what they might have been up to, but he didn't want to confirm anything.

Part of him was still reeling—he'd just given his first blowjob. It certainly hadn't been something he'd anticipated doing. He hadn't woken up that morning and said to himself, "Hmm, I think I'll suck off my boyfriend today," mostly because he hadn't even _had_ a boyfriend when he woke up that morning. The impulse to go down on Sol had come out of nowhere, taking him completely by surprise—but the look on the other boy's face when he realized what Eridan was doing had convinced him to keep going. He'd almost said, "Sorry if I'm not good at this," but Sol knew it was his first time. He wouldn't judge too harshly—although, based on Sol's reactions, he hadn't done too badly for a first time.

Even more surprising to him, though, was the face that he'd actually enjoyed it. He hadn't expected to hate it or anything, but between the feel of Sol's dick in his mouth, against his tongue, and the sound of Sol's moaning in his ears, Eridan had almost shoved his own hand down his jeans to jerk himself off. Even thinking about it now was enough to get him fully hard again, and for a second, he thought about beating off right there in the bathroom, but Sol had promised to take care of him later. He could wait.

When he emerged from the bathroom, Sol and Cronus were sitting on the couch. Sol looked slightly uncomfortable about being left alone next to the elder Ampora, but Cronus grinned like he knew _everything_. As it turned out, though, he didn't know everything, but he knew _something_. "So I hear you guys are goin' out trick-or-treatin' on Halloween."

"Sorry," Sol mumbled, slouching down.

"No, we are not too old, an' no, you can't come."

"I wasn't gonna say anythin'," Cronus said, holding his hands up defensively, but he was still grinning. "Besides, I gotta work on Thursday anyway, so you little monsters have fun.

"You guys ready to eat?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Sol?"

Sol's stomach growled at that instant and Cronus almost split his sides laughing. "I'll take that as a yes. Okay." He fished a twenty-dollar bill out of his wallet and handed it to Eridan, who gave it a puzzled look. "It's money. You buy stuff with it. We have tons a' it, remember?"

"I know what it _is_ , jackass. I'm tryin' to figure out what you expect me to _do_ with it."

"Go pick up burritos. It's right down the street but it turns out they don't deliver. That should be enough for all a' us unless one a' you gets somethin' completely crazy or just a lot." He playfully elbowed Sol. "You look like you don't eat much."

"It's a clever disguise," Eridan said. "What do you want?"

"California burrito, extra fries, with a Coke. Be gone, monsters."

Eridan rolled his eyes, grabbed Sol's hand, and tugged him off the sofa. Flipping Cronus off as he went, he and Sol left the apartment.

"He kind of wormed it out of me," Sol started apologetically as soon as the door closed behind them.

"He does that. He was bound to find out anyway." Eridan sighed. "Oh, well, at least he's workin' on Halloween. He won't be able to bother us then."

"Yeah, well, maybe next time, we should just go to my apartment."

"An' have Ara breathin' down our necks? That could be worse."

Sol blinked and raised an eyebrow. "Why would she be there?"

"She lives with you... doesn't she?"

"Hell, no. She lives like three blocks away from me. I don't have a roommate."

Eridan grinned. "Well. That's information I could a' done with knowin' a long fuckin' time ago."

Sol threw up his hands. "I thought you already knew."

"Well, then, tomorrow—ah, fuck."

"What?"

"I was gonna say, tomorrow we could hang out at your apartment, but I'm supposed to pick up my fish tomorrow an' I still gotta bond with them. The first twenty-four hours are the most crucial," he added with a grin.

"I sense a fucking lie."

Eridan laughed and the elevator doors opened, and the two of them crossed through the lobby. "Maybe a little bit. But I do gotta feed them an' I wanna make sure they don't try to kill each other."

"Right. So maybe Thursday then. Which is fine—I'm going to need a night to just decompress and I'll probably get a lot of homework tomorrow."

"You're not comin' over tomorrow?"

Sollux almost laughed. "I was here last night and I'm probably going to be here tonight. There's probably leftovers in my fridge that have started their own ecosystem in the two days I've been gone. Those ecosystems must be destroyed, and I'm the only one who can do battle with them." He actually did like the idea of spending the night at Eridan's apartment and in his bed every night, but he did have an apartment of his own and besides, practically moving in would definitely be moving too fast. The last thing he wanted to do was rush this, not after the progress they'd already made after less than a day of officially dating.

"Alright, alright, I get your point." Eridan scratched the back of his neck. "Still, I wish Cro had gone out to get food instead a' sendin' us."

This time, Sollux actually did laugh. "You just want me to suck your dick without the threat of him walking in, don't you?" He totally ignored the two or three people who stared at him.

"The thought had crossed my mind."

"Thought so. I hope you know where this place is, 'cause I have no idea."

"Yeah, it's..." Eridan looked left, right, and across the street. "That way."

"Your confidence is an inspiration."

"I know exactly where I'm goin'," he shot back, marching across the crosswalk with the flashing orange hand.

Fortunately, Eridan turned out to be right—he _did_ know where they were going—and within five minutes, they entered the burrito place and went straight to the counter. Eridan ordered Cronus's food and a tofu burrito with the works for himself, and Sollux opted for two carne asada burritos (Eridan hadn't been kidding—he did tend to eat quite a bit). The total came to eighteen dollars and change, and Eridan pocketed the rest.

By the time they got back to Eridan's apartment, Cronus had nearly fallen asleep. "Fuck, guys, what took you so long?"

"We walked," Eridan said, tossing Cronus's burrito to him.

"Hmm. Fair enough. Coke?"

"Here." He handed it over and made to disappear into his room with Sollux right behind him when Cronus called after him.

"Hey, why don't you guys eat out here?"

Eridan shot Sollux an "I really don't want to do this right now, do you?" look. "Um, we're cool in my room."

"Come on, I hardly ever see you anymore," Cronus wheedled. "Besides, I need to make sure this boyfriend a' yours is good enough for you."

"Jesus." Eridan turned around. "I never got to talk to Meenah an' make sure she's good enough for you—although to be honest, she's probably too good."

Cronus blew a raspberry. "She's Feferi's sister—you met her before. The first time I met _you—_ " here, he addressed Sollux "—you were sittin' in his lap at a house party."

"Oh, my God, please stop talkin'," Eridan groaned, flushing red with embarrassment. "This is not happenin' right now."

"I actually don't mind," Sollux said, shrugging.

Eridan looked pained. "Alright, fine," he said to Cronus, "but I reserve the right to duct tape your mouth shut if you start gettin' out a' hand."

"Me? Never."

* * *

It actually wasn't so bad, just hanging out in the living room and watching TV. Cronus didn't ask any really embarrassing or deliberately prying questions—he just asked a little about Sollux's parents (divorced since he was two, raised by his mom) and siblings (one brother), and Sollux kept his answers as short as possible. He loved his mother but his family in general was a sensitive topic, one that he didn't like to think about too often. He supposed it would come up eventually, but for right now, he was content to pretend everything was fine.

Eridan, meanwhile, kept shooting glares at Cronus every time he asked a question. Sollux really didn't see what the big issue was—it wasn't like he was being intentionally rude or anything—but maybe he and Eridan didn't get along so well. But Cronus seemed nice enough, if a little eccentric. Eridan was probably overreacting.

By the time they finished eating, Sollux was hiding his yawns behind his hand, not that he actually managed to hide them from anyone.

"I'm gonna go switch over that laundry," Eridan said, checking the time on his phone. "I think it was ready like twenty minutes ago." He nudged Sollux with his foot. "You can go nap in my room if you want."

Sollux shook his head and lobbed his burrito wrappers into the trash. "Nah, I'll go with you. I'm not that tired."

Eridan shrugged nonchalantly but grinned anyway. "Alright, your choice. We'll be back in a few minutes," he called over his shoulder to Cronus as they left the apartment again.

"Yeah, behave yourselves," Cronus said. "I don't want neighbors callin' to complain about you guys."

"Yeah, trust me, the only one they'll wanna complain about is you," Eridan shot back, slamming the door closed to emphasize his point.

"So, he seems..."

"Obnoxious, yeah, I know."

"Eh, he's not that bad. He asks a lot of questions but I don't think he's trying to be rude or anything."

"Maybe."

Sollux debated pressing Eridan to elaborate but decided against it. Now probably wasn't the time.

"I didn't know you had a brother," Eridan said abruptly.

"Yeah. Older. You'll probably meet him at some point."

"Is he like Cronus?"

"Worse." Sollux felt a headache coming on just thinking about Mituna. Hopefully he wouldn't have to see him for awhile.

They switched over the laundry in relative silence, which suited Sollux just fine. When he got tired—which he was now, although nowhere near ready to sleep—he was less inclined to talk and more inclined to just glare at people.

Eridan seemed pretty okay with it, too—after they'd started up the dryers, he planted a quick, closed-mouth kiss on Sollux and the taller boy instinctively wrapped his arms around him.

"You, uh, brushed your teeth, right?" Sollux asked.

"Mouthwash."

"Hmm. Good enough," he said, figuring that the burritos they'd eaten would hide any other tastes anyway. He smiled faintly and kissed Eridan, leaving one arm around his waist while bringing his other hand up to cup his face.

It was definitely a slower-paced kiss than their previous makeouts. Sollux was grateful for that. This wasn't the time to rush or get too far into things. For one thing, they were still in the laundry room and Sollux was leaning up against the dryer. For another, he'd just missed the feeling of kissing Eridan and having their bodies pressed close together in the forty-five minutes or so it had been since the last time they were really alone. Eridan seemed to be okay with their light, unhurried kissing as well—he gave no hint that he wanted to push this faster.

Eridan slid his hands under Sollux's untucked shirt, keeping them against his back, and Sollux let out an involuntary giggle. "Ticklish?" Eridan asked, a playful smile on his face.

"Shut up," Sollux said, but Eridan read that as an invitation because a second later, he was tickling Sollux's back and sides, maneuvering to keep up with the taller boy's squirming. "Stop it, douche," Sollux laughed, but he didn't shove Eridan away.

"I didn't know you were so ticklish," Eridan said, finally letting up. "I would a' used that earlier if I'd known."

"Yeah, and I probably would have punched you in the face if you had," Sollux said, wrapping his arms back around Eridan.

"What about now?"

"Just as long as you don't abuse it."

Eridan grinned. "Wouldn't dream a' it."


	57. Act 57

Cronus had mysteriously vanished by the time the two of them returned to the apartment, leaving Eridan standing in the living room and looking very confused. "Uh, Cro?" he called, heading down the hallway to Cronus's bedroom. He waited for a response, received none, and then knocked on the door. "Hey, Cro? You still here?"

Still nothing. He turned to exchange a puzzled glance with Sol before checking the bathroom and the kitchen to verify that they, too, were empty. "Huh. Where would he a' gone?"

"Meenah's?" Sol suggested.

Eridan shook his head. "She lives up in Los Angeles. He wouldn't just leave to go up there."

"Where does FF live?"

"Couple a' blocks away, why?"

Sol shrugged. "Maybe Meenah's staying with her."

"Maybe, but I doubt it. Fef's got the same relationship with Meenah as I got with Cro—mutual tolerance with apparent one-sided disdain."

"You live with Cronus," Sol said with a small grin.

"Not the point," Eridan protested, waving his arms.

Sol just shook his head and looked around the living room for any clue as to where Cronus might have gone, but there was none. "Maybe he just went into his room and won't answer you."

Eridan eyeballed the door. He was half-tempted to sneak a peak—he'd never even glanced into Cronus's room. He didn't want to know what was in there. But now that Sol had mentioned it, he couldn't help his curiosity. "I don't think so. He's usually pretty good about answerin' me."

"Okay, so he's gone. So what?"

"I don't know. I just... wish he woulda told me he was leavin'. It woulda been nice to have a little warnin' or somethin'."

Sol rubbed the bridge of his nose, as if trying to comprehend it. "Oh, well, looks like he's gone."

All at once, that information finally sank in. "Dude. He's _gone_." Eridan's face split into a wide grin.

The taller boy smacked his forehead. "Wow, it's not like I just said that or anything," he said sarcastically, but Eridan completely ignored the tone, grabbed him by the collar, backed him up to the wall, and kissed him hard.

"Mmm. Going along with that," Sol murmured between kisses, "we don't know when he's coming back. He might have just—mmm—gone out to get smokes."

"Good point. Looks like we'll have to be quick then." Eridan began fumbling with the zipper on Sol's jeans, but Sol caught his hands.

"Not out here."

Eridan groaned. "Fine. _Fine._ " He pushed open his bedroom door and slammed it behind him.

* * *

Cronus had noticed about thirty seconds after Eridan and Sollux left that he was out of Coke and there was no way he was about to tolerate _that_ , so he left and caught the next elevator down. As he left the building, he glanced to his right and saw the two of them loading two separate loads of laundry into the dryer before the door closed behind him and he turned left. He headed down the street to the closest convenience store.

After picking up a twenty-ounce bottle of Coke and a twelve-pack of cans (and eyeing the packs of Newports with a sigh but pretending in the end that he didn't see them), he went back down the street. It was getting cooler out again, and he wished he'd grabbed his leather jacket before leaving, but he couldn't do anything about it now. After all, he was on his way back anyway.

He nudged open the main door of the apartment building, glanced into the laundry room again—Eridan and Sollux weren't in there, so he could only presume they had gone back upstairs. He hit the button for the elevators with his elbow and waited, rocking back and forth on his heels, until the elevator on the right opened up.

As soon as it dropped him off on his floor, he hurried down the hallway. He regarded the door of a minute before setting down the twelve-pack and unlocking the door. He'd just pushed it open and lightly kicked the pack of Coke through the doorway when he heard the faint but unmistakeable sound of Eridan moaning (and _God_ , he wished he didn't know what that sounded like).

"Well, then," he muttered. He was happy for Eridan, he really was—it had been a long time since he'd dated anyone and Cronus did want Eridan to be happy, and besides, Sollux seemed like a great guy—but the whole fucking like rabbits thing was getting old on the second day. Not that Cronus was actually sure it had progressed to actual sex yet. Eridan had, just weeks before, insisted he was straight, so he was probably still coming to terms with his sexuality. But Eridan seemed pretty into Sollux (even Cronus could admit that he was pretty adorable, in a nerdy, gangly sort of way), and judging by the sounds that came from Eridan's room both last night and tonight (which Cronus pointedly pretended he couldn't hear while wishing he had brain bleach), the feeling was mutual. Yesterday, it had been cute, especially the flushed look on Sollux's face when he went to take a shower.

But yeah, he couldn't take another night of this. He was either going to need to find another place to crash when Sollux came over or convince Eridan to soundproof his room (or ask them to keep it down, although he didn't think there was much chance of _that_ ).

He kicked the door closed behind him, and the moaning behind Eridan's door stopped immediately. Cronus couldn't help but grin as he picked up the cans and went to the kitchen to put them in the fridge. Then he made a big production out of jingling his keys as he passed Eridan's room and went to his own, closing his door with an exaggerated _bang_. At least with two sets of walls between them (and his music going, which he turned on the second he walked in), he could pretend nothing was happening.

* * *

"Well, I guess Cro's home," Eridan breathed, glancing to the wall as though he could somehow see his brother through it.

"Told you we didn't know when he was coming back," Sol pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah," Eridan muttered. He strained his ears to listen for the sounds his brother made as he moved around the apartment, and a few moments later, he could hear the jangling of keys passing by his room and heading down the hall to Cronus's room. The door closed, music started playing, and Eridan sighed with relief.

"I think he heard you," Sol said unnecessarily.

"No shit, he heard me." Eridan closed his eyes tightly and smacked his forehead. "Fuck."

"It's not like we were exactly keeping it down before."

"Yeah, but—" He cut himself off a second later, his head falling back to the bare pillow and his words melting into a moan. "Jesus, you're makin' it really hard to think right now," he panted.

Sol paused from licking a path all the way up Eridan's dick. "You ever think that maybe that's the point?"

"Maybe." Eridan's hand found its way into Sollux's hair. "But I can't think right now, so you tell me."

"Definitely the point," Sol murmured before picking up right where he left off.

* * *

Eridan really didn't want to drag himself off the mattress, but it was getting late—it was nearly ten—and they needed to get their laundry from the laundry room. He sighed and rolled off the bed, nearly on top of Sol, who'd sat on the floor with his back against the bed, his laptop open so he could play some first-person-shooter game (although there didn't look to be anyone shooting back or anyone else on the screen at all). "Come on. Let's get the sheets."

Sol paused his game, set his laptop aside, and stood up. "Ready when you are."

Eridan shot a petulant glare at him from the floor. He _really_ didn't feel like moving.

Sol managed to poke him to his feet and they finally headed down to the laundry room for the third and final time, Sol carrying the laundry basket under one arm. Eridan slumped against the walls of the hallway and the elevator as they made their way down, forcing Sol to drag him by the arm. "You getting tired?"

Eridan gave him a condescending look. "I had a' exhaustin' day. Do you blame me?"

"I've been doing the exact same things as you. Besides, you can't sleep until you've taken your eighteenth shower of the day," Sol joked.

"You think you're so fuckin' witty," Eridan grumbled.

They gathered up the laundry and tossed it in the basket without (much) further complaining. Eridan was still struggling to keep his eyes open, even though he knew Sol was right—there was no way he was going to bed with gel in his hair. He'd woken up once or twice last night to discover that Sol had a thing for petting his hair in his sleep, and Eridan had a feeling that wouldn't be as pleasant if it was still stiff with product. Besides, it would be that much more difficult to scrub out in the morning if he let it sit overnight.

Fortunately, Sol seemed much more alert, so he led the re-making of Eridan's bed once they got back to the apartment. Once they'd tucked in the last sheet, Eridan set to work folding the small load of laundry they had left. "You can go shower if you want," he said. "I'm gonna be awhile."

Sollux nodded and grabbed the pair of sweatpants and the shirt he'd worn the night before from out of the laundry basket. He'd have to dig out his underwear later—with his luck, it was buried at the bottom of the basket.

He took a ten-minute shower, not exactly trusting that Eridan wouldn't find some way to prank him while he was distracted. He actually was pretty intrigued to see what Eridan would come up with, but unless his apparent exhaustion was just a ruse, he wasn't sure that the prank was going to be any good—and if the douche was going to prank him, Sollux wanted it to be a good one. They both had reputations to uphold.

Nothing appeared to be out of order when Sollux returned from the bathroom, but that didn't mean anything. Eridan was sprawled out on the sheets, his eyes opened but unfocused (he almost looked stoned, but it might have just been a testament to his exhaustion), and he had his towel wrapped around his arm. "You finished?" Eridan asked, his eyes focusing on Sollux.

"No, I just took an intermission during my shower," he deadpanned. He dropped the towel he'd been using into the now-empty laundry basket.

Eridan blinked and slowly realized that Sollux was joking. "Okay. I'm gonna go shower. If I don't come out in twenty minutes, assume I drowned."

"I really hope that doesn't happen."

"Yeah, me, too." Eridan rolled limply off the bed, gathered up his pajamas, and wandered off to the bathroom. He bumped into the door frame, and Sollux wondered if maybe they should put padding on all the corners and sharp edges of the apartment.

Deciding this would be an overreaction, he sat back down on his floor, picked up his computer, and resumed playing _Portal_. The idea that Eridan would take a shorter shower was laughable based on what he knew of him so far.

He glanced up at the fish tank, still bubbling merrily on Eridan's desk. Sollux wondered what the new fish were going to look like. He could kind of see what Eridan meant when he said the fish tank by itself was soothing, though—it seemed to have a calming effect on him, not that he wasn't already calm in the first place. But it wasn't just a surface calm. He could feel it sinking into his pores, permeating every fiber, settling into his bones the longer he looked. Whether it was just being in Eridan's room or actually the fish tank affecting him, he couldn't tell, but whatever it was, he liked it.

He fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Eridan and the refractions from the light in the fish tank washing over them both, and for the second night in a row, he slept more soundly than he had in ages.


	58. Act 58

"Well, I must say, I'm surprised to see you in your own clothes again," Aradia said slyly to Sollux the next morning.

"Why?" he asked innocently. "We washed my clothes last night."

"I figured your boyfriend would want to dress you again."

Sollux snorted derisively. "Believe me, he tried." He had, too. Eridan had nearly insisted on at least forcing him into something besides the T-shirt he'd worn on Monday ("I'll let you keep the jeans—they're not so bad—but come on, let me find a different shirt for you"), but Sollux had to put his foot down. Eridan had sulked for a few minutes, but after Sollux made him coffee, his mood brightened.

"Oh, well. So what did you guys do last night?" Aradia sounded innocent enough, but there was a devilish look in her eyes that hinted she wanted juicy details.

She wasn't about to get them. "Movie, burritos. No big deal."

"Liar."

There was no way he was going to tell her that Eridan had sucked him off. She would probably explode—in fact, the only way her reaction would get any more excited was if he told her that they'd had sex. He was half-tempted to tell her just to see what would happen, but he knew he'd regret it after he told her he was lying. "Delving into further details seems like the ungentlemanly thing to do. I don't ask you what you do with EQ, but that—"

Aradia cut in smoothly. "He fingered me."

All activity in Sollux's brain shut down as his mind desperately tried to purge that information from his memory. He was dimly aware that his face was probably frozen in an expression of stunned horror but he couldn't do a thing about it—he was still reeling.

"Sollux? You okay?" she asked, nearly laughing at his face.

For a few more seconds, he struggled to even form words, but he finally managed to say, "I... I _did not_. Need. To _know_ that. There's a _reason_ I don't ask you about that kind of stuff—I don't _want_ to know!"

She finally started laughing, leaning back in her chair and laughing until she was nearly crying. "Oh, my God, Sollux, you're too funny. I was joking!" She wiped a tear from her eye. "Or was I?"

"I don't need that mental image—I really don't. And ever since he said he was going to be a horse for Halloween, all I've been able to associate with it is 'horse cock,' and that is _really_ not what I want to be thinking about."

Aradia's laughter redoubled and she almost fell out of her chair. "Oh, my God," she practically sobbed, clinging to the edge of the table for support, "Nepeta is going to lose her fucking mind when I tell her you were thinking about my boyfriend's horse cock!"

Sollux put his elbows on the table and cradled his face in his hands. "Why do you laugh at my pain?"

She tugged at his arm and managed to pull one of his hands away from his face. "No, I'm sorry—it was just too funny! I'm not laughing at you to be mean or anything!"

"Yeah, I know." He ran his fingers through his hair. "God, just don't tell NP I even mentioned him in conjunction with the phrase 'horse cock,' okay? It's just so fucking embarrassing."

"Okay, fine, I promise," she sighed.

"Thanks." Sollux looked up at the ceiling and decided to give her one single detail from last night, although he got the distinct feeling he was going to regret divulging this particular piece of information. "So ED gave me a blowjob last night."

"You're joking. This is your petty revenge for what may or may not have been a joke on my part, and it's not funny."

"I'm not joking. I probably still have the teeth marks to prove it," he added with a grimace.

"Teeth? Oooh, that doesn't sound good at all."

"Once he stopped using them, it was fine."

"'Fine'? Honey, if you can describe a blowjob as 'fine,' it clearly wasn't that good."

"It was his first time. I can forgive a botched technique. And, okay, it wasn't _fine_ , it was..." Sollux considered it. "Pretty awesome, actually."

"Better," Aradia said with a grin. "Definitely better."

"Also information you are not allowed to tell NP."

"Shit! I can't tell her anything!"

"Nope, because you'll probably end up telling her way too much."

Aradia stuck her tongue out at him. He ignored her and headed off to his programing class.

When he arrived in the doorway to his classroom, he looked around, attempting to scope out Terezi. It was the first time in several months that he'd actively sought her out—usually, she randomly appeared over his shoulder or they just happened to be hanging around the same people and started talking to each other—but he'd meant to talk to her on Monday, and that hadn't ended up happening. He was determined to fix that today, though.

But the moment he caught sight of her near the back, he started wondering if he should. Maybe he should just let it go—after all, it wasn't his business anymore (and hadn't been in a long time) who Karkat slept with, but he still wondered what had happened. He'd been able to tell almost immediately that, for some reason, Karkat seemed to have a soft spot for her, but how had that turned into illicit fucking in the bathroom during a weekend-long house party? It didn't make sense to him, although whether it really didn't make sense or if he just didn't want to understand it remained to be seen. What about Karkat had so endeared him to her that she slept with him? He hadn't realized they were that close already.

He could still avoid that conversation. He desperately wanted to know, but he could also anticipate the drama that would inevitably go along with it. Terezi's eyesight was shit, after all, and he could easily just go to his seat and pretend that nothing was happening. She wouldn't know he'd been hovering there, caught in indecision.

Sollux sighed and headed to the back to sit next to Terezi. As he slunk closer to her row he saw her ears perk up slightly and her fingers paused over her keys momentarily, but her head never turned in his direction and he wasn't sure she knew he was there until, a second before he sat down, she said, "Hey, Sollux. What's going on?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"I think the more important question is, why do you smell like Eridan Ampora's shampoo?"

"I think an even _more_ important question is, how the Hell do you know what his shampoo smells like?"

"I know what everyone's shampoo smells like. And I know that you don't smell like yours right now. But you're the only person who talks to me in this class, so I figured it was you." That was true—Terezi sat by herself in the back of the room. Sollux would sometimes join her, but no one else strayed even close.

"Huh. I guess that makes sense."

"So why _do_ you smell like Eridan Ampora's shampoo?"

"Because I showered at his apartment."

"And since when do you shower at Eridan Ampora's apartment? I thought you two were in the middle of a hatred-fueled prank war." She grinned as though she already knew the answer, but Sollux was confused.

"Um, do you not remember what happened at the party this weekend?"

Terezi finally stopped typing to turn her head and look at him, condescension written all over her face. "Sollux. I'm _blind_ , remember? If something happened this weekend, I didn't see it, and I didn't hear it since no one told me."

That made sense—and Terezi had been involved with the game of beer pong while the rest of them were playing Truth or Dare as well. _Whoops._ "Oh. Well... the short version is, we're dating now."

She looked stunned for a moment. "Gonna need a little more information than that."

"Okay, well, I was dared to kiss him during Truth or Dare at the party and I did and I guess he's gay for me now or something."

Terezi gritted her teeth. "Somehow, your story has raised far more questions than it answered."

"I don't know what else to tell you. That was pretty much how it happened. We made out and then we made out more on Saturday and..." But that hadn't been it, had it? No, Sollux had seen Eridan kissing Feferi and he'd run, and Eridan had chased after him. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten about that—but he'd been drunk, so maybe it followed. "I don't know. I like him, he likes me. I spent Monday night and last night at his place."

She finally grinned that typical predatory grin of hers, and Sollux was reminded of a shark—or a dragon. "I like it a lot. So are you just dating, or are you two officially boyfriends now?"

"Uh, yeah, he's my boyfriend now." That was still weird to think about—he had a boyfriend. He hadn't dated anyone since he was a sophomore in high school, and for a bisexual, the only two people he'd slept with (or come close to it, in Eridan's case) were both boys. It was weird for him.

"Awesome. Does Mituna know?"

"Fuck, no—and if you know what's good for you, you won't tell your sister, because I'm almost a hundred percent sure she'll tell him."

"Why don't you want Mituna to know? I thought twins were supposed to be close or some shit."

Sollux rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was _not_ how the conversation was supposed to go. "We were, but he pulled a dick move on me a couple of summers ago and I never quite forgave him."

"Oooh, what happened? Think he'll do it to Latula?"

"I highly doubt that. It..." He gave an exasperated sigh. "Look, I don't _hate_ him exactly. He's not a bad guy or anything, and I'm sure he'll treat your sister right. Just... he used to be a bit of a tool."

"How so?"

"Well, the summer between high school and college, he happened to catch me and Ka—uh, the guy I was messing around with. And for some reason, I don't know if he was just trying to fuck with me or if he was legitimately upset or something, but he found our mom and said, 'Sol's making out with some boy in his room!'

"I really don't know how he expected her to respond, but she brushed it off like it was nothing and even invited the guy to stay for dinner, but he'd gotten really freaked out by the whole thing so he left, and then later he basically told me he was straight and we needed to end the sex part of our relationship and I guess that's not Mituna's fault, but I did kind of blame him for it, at least a little. He apologized for it later, but... fuck, it's hard to let go of something like that."

For the first time, Terezi looked genuinely sympathetic. "God, I'm sorry. I had no idea. I didn't realize he was that much of a dick."

"Used to be. I don't know if he is anymore. I don't hang around him all that much. I think what bothered me most was that I hadn't come out to my family at that point, since up until I got involved with... the guy, I wasn't even sure I _was_ bi, but I was convinced after then. I was just waiting for the right time to tell them, and Mituna went ahead and outed me before I was ready. I'm just glad my mom was so cool with it. She says she doesn't care—she just wants us to be happy and she doesn't care who we end up with, so that's good."

"Yeah. Jesus, that's horrible."

Sollux sighed and sat back in his chair. "I'm pretty much over it."

She stared down at her keys for a few moments, and then a strange look crossed her face. "Hey, Sollux, how long have you known Karkat?"

"Since middle school. Why?"

"I see. Well, call me crazy, but I could have sworn you almost used Karkat's name in your story." She gave him a suspicious look. "Did you?"

This was definitely not how the conversation was supposed to go, but it was getting back around to where he wanted it to be. "Uh. Yeah."

"So... what you're telling me is, you fooled around with him."

"Yeah."

"Did you have sex with him?"

"Um. Once..."

"Oh," she said. The concern melted off her face.

"A day."

"Excuse me?"

"For about two months," he finished quietly.

"Okay, um, _wow_. He didn't mention that."

"He wouldn't. I think he'd like to pretend it never happened."

She rubbed her temples and sighed, setting her elbows on the desk in front of her. "Oh, my God. _Fuck_."

"What? You slept with him, too."

She whirled to face him again. "How the fuck did you find out about that?" she demanded in a whisper. She glanced anxiously toward the front to see if anyone else was looking, but they were ignored.

"I happened to need to piss on Saturday night and I got up and... well, you and KK were in there."

"Fuck," she groaned. "Did you tell anyone else?"

"I may have mentioned it to NP. I didn't tell anyone besides her, but as for who she told..." He shrugged.

" _Great._ What did she say?"

"I don't remember exactly, but she was excited."

"Oh. Well, that's good, I guess."

"Yeah. Look, I just have to know—why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why'd you sleep with him?"

"Because I _like_ him? Seems pretty obvious, right?"

"Well, yeah, but _why_? I mean, he's shouty and annoying and—"

"Outspoken and caring and funny and, the best of all, he doesn't make me feel like 'the blind girl,'" she finished for him.

"Like— _what_?"

"You heard me. Somehow, everyone has made me feel like I'm my disability. I'm the blind girl who needs help with everything. I can't see—I can't do anything. Except Karkat doesn't treat me like that. Sure, he helps me get around sometimes, but only when I ask him to. He doesn't automatically assume I need help with everything. I can navigate stairs and walk without tripping and see well enough to know he cares about me. So, _yeah_ , I slept with him, because I wanted to and he wanted to and I like him and he likes me." She crossed her arms over her chest and sat back in her chair, glaring at him, silently daring him to question her, but that was the last thing on his mind.

"Sorry," he murmured. He hadn't realized that she was actually concerned with how she was perceived. He'd always thought of her as this cool, aloof, don't-give-a-fuck tough girl who happened to be blind. He couldn't believe he'd been so far off.

Her face softened a bit at his apology. "It's okay," she sighed. "I get that he hurt you, and I'm really sorry about that. But he's good to me and I got the impression that you were pretty much over him, right?"

"Yeah." He was about as over Karkat as he was about to get—and it helped that Eridan wasn't following Karkat's pattern of behavior.

"So can you be happy for me?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Good." She reached over and messed up his hair. "And I'm happy for you. Now go do your fucking work."


	59. Act 59

Tavros was starting to get a little concerned about Gamzee. It seemed like he was starting to spend a lot more time asleep, which wouldn't have bothered him, not really, except it was starting to approach twelve hours a day. He was worried—Gamzee always slept at least eight hours a night unless finals were approaching, but now he would wake up, skip breakfast, go right to school, stay until five-thirty or six, grab dinner from a fast food place on the way home, eat, and go to sleep around seven. He wouldn't even play video games with Tavros anymore. He was withdrawing from everything, and Tavros couldn't figure out why.

He'd tried to bring it up once on the way to school after Gamzee dropped Karkat off at his first class. "Hey, are you okay? You've been sleeping a lot lately. I'm getting worried," he'd said, hoping he could spark an actual conversation with him. They hadn't really spoken much since he'd gotten back from Eridan's place last weekend.

But Gamzee had just smiled mysteriously and kissed the back of his hand. "Don't you worry about me, motherfucker. I'm just fine." He'd refused to say anything else, so Tavros let it go but resolved to mention it to Karkat. After all, they'd known each other before he and Gamzee had started dating—maybe he would have a better idea of what was going on with him.

Not that Tavros blamed him for being exhausted—he was taking some stupidly difficult classes with students who were working on their Masters degrees, and his schedule was packed with eight classes while most students had five or six. He didn't understand how Gamzee was able to handle all of it—Physics and German III and World History and Psychology and Advanced Calculus and whatever other classes he had (Tavros couldn't keep them straight in his head). With his schedule, it was no surprise that he spent every free moment asleep, but it hadn't been like this a month ago. It was a fairly recent development, and Tavros couldn't pinpoint what might have triggered it, but after a year and a half of being with him, Tavros couldn't help his concern.

He didn't get to talk to Karkat until the one half-hour at lunchtime when neither of them had class. That was his fault for only leaving a half-hour for himself, but on the plus side, he got out of his after-lunch class at two, leaving plenty of time for him to finish his other homework before Gamzee drove them all home. Despite that, Gamzee liked to stay late at the library since it was the only place Karkat wouldn't yell and, therefore, the only place he could study in peace.

"Hey, Karkat?"

"What's going on?" Karkat didn't sound very interested, but he was trying to decide what to order from the grill, so Tavros didn't blame him. He, meanwhile, grabbed the same double-decker peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he always did—the woman at the sandwich counter always made it special for him.

"Um... I was just wondering... Have you noticed him acting weird? Gamzee, I mean." He cast a sideways glance at Karkat, who had paused with a strange look on his face.

"Weird how?"

"Um, like... Well, haven't you noticed him sleeping a lot more? And he doesn't talk much anymore. Not even to me. And I don't think he's been, uh, eating very well, either."

Karkat scratched the back of his head. "I don't know—I mean, it _kind_ of sounds right, but really, I only noticed the talking thing. He hasn't played his Xbox in awhile, either, has he?"

Tavros shook his head. "No, um, not that I've seen."

He shrugged. "I don't know, I figured it was just one of his weird quirks or something. Leave him alone for awhile. He'll get over it."

Tavros didn't like that answer, either, but he supposed he had no choice but to do what Karkat said. Besides, it wasn't like Gamzee was mean to him or anything—he just wasn't talking much to _anyone_ , and Tavros still had no doubt that, if Vriska were to harass him for any reason, Gamzee would still somehow be able to materialize out of nowhere and hover menacingly behind him until she scampered off. That thought, at least, was enough to put a smile on his face.

* * *

Kanaya's phone trilled cheerfully, but she didn't want to expend the energy required to pull it out of her pocket. She was in the middle of a lovely afternoon nap at Rose's house and her limbs were leaden. Besides, her phone was in her left pocket and her left arm was pinned beneath Rose, and she didn't feel like jostling the other girl or reaching across her body to retrieve it. Then Rose yawned and shifted, freeing Kanaya's arm, so she finally dug out her phone and checked the text message.

"It would appear we've been invited to partake in Halloween festivities tomorrow night."

"Huh. Who invited us?"

"Aradia. Apparently, several people are going. Equius and Nepeta and Sollux and Eridan... probably others as well. Since Eridan is going, it wouldn't surprise me to discover that Feferi was coming along."

"Mmm." Rose rolled over and burrowed into Kanaya's side. "Is it a costume thing?" she asked sleepily.

"I believe so. I hadn't planned for such an eventuality—I fear I may not have an appropriate costume."

"It's Halloween. There's no such thing as an inappropriate costume."

Kanaya laughed softly. "I have to disagree with you there. However, I may be able to come up with something last-minute. Do you have a costume prepared?"

"I think I have something from a few years ago that'll work. It's from a video game I used to play when I was younger—my character's title was Seer of Light, and I made an outfit based on what it looked like in the game."

"That sounds lovely. I do hope you wear it, then."

Rose chuckled once. "Maybe. I might find something else. I think all the other good costumes are gone already, so it may have to be something from odds and ends."

"You could wear your sister's barista uniform," Kanaya teased gently.

Rose just shook her head. "I'm not wearing anything that gin-soaked wench wears every day," she joked.

"Hush. Your sister seems lovely."

Rose nodded. "She is. It's just hard to see her ruin her life the way my mom did."

"Have you talked to either of them yet?"

"No, not yet," she sighed. "I don't know how to bring it up."

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

* * *

Jade really did not see what the big deal with Vriska was. She seemed perfectly nice—sure, she could be snarky sometimes, but she was trying to pretend that she wasn't as lonely as she actually was. Rose had definitely overreacted or something. There was no way Vriska was as bad as she claimed.

Also, her tarantula was really cool. She climbed slowly up Jade's arm in a way that made her giggle, but as she crossed behind her neck, she was suddenly reminded that tarantulas were dangerous and she needed to be careful. Vriska was monitoring closely, but Jade didn't relax until she felt the Marquise's legs start to work their way down her other arm.

"She likes you," Vriska proclaimed, scooping up Marquise Mindfang as soon as she crawled off Jade's hand and onto the floor.

"How can you tell?" Yeah, the Marquise was cool and all, but Jade had a hard time believing Vriska could sense her moods.

"Well, for one thing, she didn't try to attack you or anything. Plus, she took a really long time to climb on you. She only does that with me and Aranea. Most people, she just kind of goes halfway up their arm and then she stops or she turns and goes back down." Vriska grinned widely. "Yeah, she definitely likes you."

"Good," Jade said, reaching out to trail her forefinger down the Marquise's body. "I would certainly hate to see her if she didn't like me."

At Jade's touch, the tarantula settled into Vriska's palm as if greatly enjoying the sensation. Jade half-expected her to start purring, although she supposed that would have been weird if she did.

" _See?_ " Vriska crowed, drawing out the word as though it had eight vowels. "She doesn't do that with just anyone."

The fact that an ordinarily-aloof spider liked her was a strange ego boost, and it emboldened Jade to actually cradle the Marquise in her hands. For a few moments after Vriska deposited her in Jade's hands, the Marquise stood up as if trying to figure out what was going on, but then, slowly, she settled into her palms, just as she'd done with Vriska.

After they'd put the Marquise back in her tank, Jade had started to gather up her things when Vriska asked, "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

Jade turned to face her, about to ask if it would be okay with her mom, when Vriska went on quickly.

"Or you could come over for dinner tomorrow, too, if you want. My mom won't care. We're having pizza and wings."

"Halloween tradition?" Jade asked with a smile.

"Sort of. We have it every Halloween, anyway."

"I'd love to, actually. Are we going trick-or-treating afterward?"

Vriska nodded enthusiastically. "Probably. And hopefully Aranea doesn't..." Her voice trailed off and she bit her lip. She seemed to be debating whether or not to continue. "Never mind. Um, you can wear your costume here or change later—I don't really care which. I'm thinking about wearing mind to school tomorrow, actually," she added with a grin.

"What are you dressing up as?"

Vriska's grin widened. "Spiderwoman, of course! What else would I be?"

Jade had to laugh. The costume definitely fit her. "I can't even imagine."

"And you better be ready to go harder than the paint, because in this neighborhood, people give out sick amounts of candy. None of that fun-sized shit—here, everyone goes for the regular sizes or king-sized. It's _awesome_!"

Jade had never been unenthusiastic about Halloween _or_ acquiring candy, but somehow, Vriska's excitement was contagious and she felt herself getting even more excited about the next day. It would definitely be a lot of fun, and she'd probably be able to convince her grandpa to let her go out. She hadn't gone trick-or-treating since she was seventeen, but the pang of childhood nostalgia was sharp, and she knew she had to go tomorrow.

Plus, she liked to cosplay as various characters from _The Wizard of Oz_ , so the fact that she hadn't necessarily planned for Halloween was pretty much moot. She could totally throw together something.

She said goodbye to Vriska and headed for the nearest bus stop to take her home, feeling quite content. She had a really good feeling about the next day.

* * *

Tavros played _Little Big Planet_ until about eight-thirty, but it wasn't the same without Gamzee playing next to him. The apartment seemed quiet with Gamzee already in bed—even Karkat sensed it, and for once, he didn't yell or pound on the door or try to get him to eat something more than just Burger King. Tavros wished he could tell what was going on with his boyfriend. It was just so out-of-character for Gamzee to pull in on himself like this.

He finally grew exhausted with pretending to be interested in the game when all he wanted to do was curl up next to Gamzee and hold him close, so he turned off his PS3, bade Karkat goodnight, and disappeared into his and Gamzee's room.

He kept the light off and changed out of his jeans into a comfortable pair of sweatpants that served as his pajamas along with whatever T-shirt he'd worn during the day. He didn't want to wake Gamzee, but this turned out to be a useless concern when he heard his voice floating through the dark.

"Hey," Gamzee said.

"Sorry," Tavros murmured. "Was I being loud?"

"No way, motherfucker. I wasn't sleeping."

"Oh." He slid into bed next to Gamzee. To his surprise, almost as soon as he got comfortable, he felt Gamzee's arms sliding around him. Automatically and with a smile coming to his face, he snuggled in next to his boyfriend and draped an arm over him, too.

"I've just been having a couple of weird motherfucking weeks. Don't worry about me, though. I motherfucking love you."

In the dark, Tavros's smile widened. "Alright. I motherfucking love you, too."

It was a lot easier to sleep tonight than it had been for almost a week before this, and as he pressed his ear to Gamzee's chest, he could feel that the two of them would be okay.


	60. Act 60

It felt weird to leave school by himself. He'd already gotten used to having Sol in the car with him—now it just felt empty without him. Still, he was about to get his fish. That was enough to improve his mood, at least a little bit.

He parked in front of the PetCo he'd visited the Monday before and climbed out of the car. It had been nearly freezing this morning, but now, he could comfortably unbutton his pea coat without shivering. He went into the store and scanned the registers to see if Rufioh was up there, but he wasn't. Eridan supposed he could have been in the aisles, too, since that's where he'd been when Rufioh found him, so he began prowling around the store in search of him.

He'd just made it past bird food when he heard Rufioh's voice. "Hey, fish boy!"

Eridan turned around.

"Thought that was you," Rufioh said cheerfully, hurrying over to him. "Here to pick up your fish, I'm guessing?"

"Yeah." His initial response had been to be offended by being referred to as "fish boy," but it was pretty obvious that Rufioh hadn't intended to be offensive, so he let it slide. Besides, he worked at a high-traffic pet store. He probably had a hard time keeping track of people's names and just remembered them by defining characteristics—in this case, Eridan's pursuit of a fish tank and fish.

"Alright, come with me!" Rufioh had a tendency to walk really fast, which Eridan found hilariously at-odds with how short he was (he was probably only about five feet tall), but he was able to keep pace with Rufioh fairly easily.

It was hard _not_ to like Rufioh, actually. He had dark-brown hair with dyed-red streaks in it, a septum piercing, and another stud through the middle of his lower lip. Although he wore the red shirt of a PetCo employee, his jeans reminded Eridan of something one of the Lost Boys from _Peter Pan_ might wear if they somehow grew up and worked at a pet store.

"Wait here," Rufioh said as they drew up to a door marked _EMPLOYEE'S ONLY_. Eridan cringed at the apostrophe abuse, which Rufioh noticed. He grinned. "Yeah, I know. Me, too. I've been trying to get them to change that for months now. Hang on." He disappeared through the mislabeled door, so Eridan waited outside of it, quickly growing bored and looking around.

The whole store was filled with the sounds of barking puppies and meowing kittens and the squawking of birds, and in cages and pens, rabbits and hamsters and guinea pigs ran on their wheels and shuffled through shredded newspaper. It stank really badly, and Eridan imagined he'd have to take an extra-long shower after he got home if he worked here, but there was a charm to it with all the animals. He'd probably end up working solely in the fish section, if that was possible—they were quiet, and as long as you took care of them properly, they didn't smell—but he could understand how an animal lover would be comfortable working here. Rufioh seemed to have a way with the animals, too—he was somehow able to calm down any animals that were freaking out for whatever reason.

"Here you go," Rufioh said from behind him, startling him. He turned around to see three separate plastic bags—labeled with the numbers one through three—in a bigger plastic bag. Each of the smaller bags contained a single yellow fish swimming around.

"Awesome," Eridan said, grinning suddenly. Even at first glance, he could see that the one in the bag labeled with a two was bigger than the others, and the one in bag number one had a spot of black on his back. It would be easy to tell them apart—and, better, to name them and actually know which one he was talking about.

"You paid for them last week, so you're all good to go from here." He almost sprinted to the front of the store and, as Eridan followed him at a walk, Rufioh called to someone Eridan couldn't see, "The guy with the fish is all paid up, guys!"

Eridan heard answering calls, and when he finally got to the front of the store, Rufioh disappearing down another aisle to help another customer, several of the cashiers waved to him to acknowledge that, yes, he was fish boy, and he was going to be allowed to leave without being harassed, thank you very much.

He set the big bag on the floor in front of the passenger's seat of his car. He already had an idea on what to name them—the one with the black spot would be Daisy (he did not give one solitary fuck if it turned out to be a boy fish—it would be a boy fish named Daisy) and the big one would be Sunshine, leaving the smaller, not-spotted one to be Butter Mellow. His inner fanboy was pleased.

When he got home, he was relieved to see that Cronus was not. Good. He would have time to enjoy his fish without his brother being obnoxious over his shoulder. He closed his door tightly behind him anyway and locked it before tossing his backpack onto his bed and setting the big bag of fish on the desk. He eyed the water level in the fish tank and tried to decide how to work this—he couldn't really dump the contents of the smaller bags, fish, water, and all, into the tank without the tank overflowing. He remembered after a few moments of contemplation that he'd bought a little net just for this purpose and felt like an idiot for forgetting.

Eridan removed the top to the tank and set it on the floor. He untied the top of Daisy's bag, reached for the net, scooped out the fish, and dropped it in the tank after barely a second out of water. _Good._ He tied the top of it up again to dispose of the water in the tub or down the sink, and repeated the process with Sunshine and Butter Mellow. Once all the fish were swimming around in the tank (Sunshine seemed to like skimming the rocks at the bottom of the tank), Eridan shook some fish flakes into the tank, replaced the top, and sat down to watch. He put his hands on the desk and rested his chin on his hands, wiggling his seat back so he was more comfortable.

At first, none of the fish appeared all that interested in the food, but slowly, Butter Mellow realized it was there and swam toward it. Then Daisy and Sunshine realized Butter Mellow had found food, and they followed it to the flakes, and within minutes, they were all gone. Eridan grinned. Once he was sure the three of them were going to get along, he would have to see about getting a couple of seahorses, and maybe a starfish.

His stomach growled, reminding him that it was his feeding time, too. He finally looked away from the fish tank and hunted for the car keys he'd somehow managed to misplace in the twenty minutes he'd been home. He searched for a few minutes before giving up for the moment and picking up the now-empty bags of water. He took them to the bathroom and emptied them into the bathtub. Once they were completely empty, he dropped the bags into the trash can and went back to his bedroom.

He finally found his keys in his backpack (he'd forgotten he put them in there), shed his pea coat onto his bed, and headed back out the door. At this point, his long-sleeved shirt was more than sufficient covering for his arms.

Now the only question was what to get to eat.

He returned about a half an hour later with four slices of Big Rico's garden-style pizza. He couldn't eat a whole one—he probably could have put away a whole one with Sol's help or Cro's, but he didn't feel like buying food for Cronus and Sol probably wouldn't coming over tonight anyway—but four slices would be good. Even if it seemed to be a bit much, he could probably put away three slices while doing his homework and nibble on the last one until it disappeared, too.

Still, he decided to text Sol anyway.

_hey i just got my fish you should come ovver an see them_

He sat down and waited for Sol's response, starting on one of his slices of pizza and pulling up the photos he'd taken during lunch so he could start editing them. As an afterthought, he put on some VNV Nation to help him while he worked but turned it low so as not to startle the fish.

_or or OR you could ju2t 2end me a piicture_

Eridan rolled his eyes. _but then i dont get to see you_

_lqtm you ju2t 2aw me a few hour2 ago_

_wwtf is lqtm_

_a more hone2t ver2iion of lol meaniing laughiing quiietly two my2elf_

_youre no fun_

_dont you have homework you 2hould be doiing anyway_

_im wworkin on it!_

_apparently not that hard iif youre textiing me_

_actually_

_DO NOT RE2POND TO THAT_

_hehehehe okay fine picture incomin_

He leaned back in his seat and snapped a picture of the three fish swimming around and sent it to Sol. _the big one is sunshine an the one wwith the black spot on its back is daisy an the other one is butter melloww_

_that ii2 a reference two 2omethiing iim 2ure of iit but ii have no iidea what iit ii2_

_wwhat the hell howw long havve wwe been datin_

_two day2 a2 of thii2 morniing and ii am 2tiill confu2ed_

_harry potter it is a reference to harry potter you uneducated fucktruck it is the spell ron cast on scabbers in a failed attempt to turn him yelloww_

_? al2o,_ Along with the message came a photo of Sol flipping him off.

Eridan couldn't help but grin at that. Since he didn't have any pictures of them together— _yet—_ he decided to save this one as his contact photo for Sol. _the spell is "sunshine daisies butter melloww turn this stupid fat rat yelloww" but it didnt wwork either because its not actually a real spell or because scabbers is an animagus an not actually a rat_

_he2 a what_

_WWHAT_

_2orry douchewagon ii never got iinto the harry potter thiing what the fuck ii2 an aniimagu2_

_its a wwizard that can turn into an animal GOD wwhat the hell_

_well excu2e me for not knowiing liike ii 2aiid ii never got iinto the fandom_

_yeah but you saww the movvies this weekend an wwith me_

_how could ii po22iibly ab2orb every siingle detaiil iin one 2iittiing and you hone2tly thiink ii wa2 payiing attentiion two the moviie2 come on_

_wwhat the hell else could you havve been payin attention to_

_other thiing2_

_jfc like wwhat_

_you for one_

At that point, Eridan completely stopped focusing on anything that wasn't his phone. He grinned and buried his face in his arms. He supposed he could accept that answer as a reasonable excuse for not watching the movies. _okay this is vvalid i suppose but it just means ill havve to lock you in a room alone so you can wwatch the movvies although i strongly suggest you read the books too_

_jegu2 chrii2t ii knew thii2 wa2 goiing two be a chore but ii diidnt a2k for thii2_

_you kneww wwhat wwas goin to be a chore_

_beiing wiith you_

_ouch_

_iim ju2t kiiddiing but 2eriiou2ly harry potter ii2 ju2t not that iintere2tiing two me_

_oh_

_i wwish you said somethin earlier then i wwouldnt havve made you wwatch it if i kneww_

_ED ju2t calm down okay that2 not what ii meant_

_wwhat did you mean then_

_ii meant that no ii wiill not watch harry potter on my own but ii wiill watch iit wiith you 2iince you liike it 2o much and ii dont fiind iit iintolerable iim ju2t 2ort of ambiivalent toward2 iit okay_

Well, that wasn't as bad as outright hating it, and Sol was able to put aside the fact that he wasn't a fan of the franchise just because _he_ liked it. That was actually pretty nice of him. _oh okay wwell ill still tone it dowwn a bit on the harry potter flipouts. after tomorroww anywway_

_youre goiing two be a wiizard ii fuckiing knew iit_

_...maybe_

_omfg go back two your homework weiirdo_

Eridan sent back a picture of himself flipping off the camera before setting his phone aside. Sol was right, though—he did have to finish up this homework. Fortunately, he actually enjoyed doing his Photography homework, so as he buzzed through all four slices of pizza and cast sidelong glances at his new fish and skipped past the live VNV Nation tracks, he did his homework with a smile on his face until he heard Cro come home around ten. Then, he finally set aside his homework for the night (he was almost done, but he had until Monday morning technically to get it all finished), showered, and went to bed. Even though he didn't have Sol next to him tonight, he still felt content. He had his fish, and like it or not, Sol was probably thinking about him. That was enough to send him off to good dreams.


	61. Intermission VI/Act 61

_**INTERMISSION VI** _

_**Twenty hours later.** _

Eridan had left without saying goodbye to him, but he had a habit of doing that. He had more important things on his mind, like hanging out with his boyfriend and his friends on Halloween. Cronus didn't begrudge him that.

He slid his work shirt over his head, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. He had to start work in a twenty minutes, but that was plenty of time to get to the gas station, even if he walked (which he usually did). He wasn't in any rush to get there, either—on Halloween, small convenience stores and gas stations and grocery stores were filled with idiots in costumes reminding him that he wasn't dressing up or going trick-or-treating this year, and yeah, he was twenty-three and probably too old for things like that, but Eridan was twenty and going to have a blast with his friends tonight. He was a little jealous of him for being able to do something like that.

The worst part was, he'd volunteered for this shift so Damara wouldn't have to work tonight. He could have told her no, but he'd agreed to switch with her so she could hang out with her sister. _It's okay_ , he told himself. _Just seven hours of this and it'll be over._ By one-forty-five, he would be passed out at home in his own bed. He just had to keep himself awake in the meantime.

Fortunately, he had access to a nigh-unlimited supply of caffeine and 5 Hour Energy shots. That would be enough to prevent him from falling asleep. Maybe his brain would fall asleep, but he'd be physically wide-awake.

He arrived at the gas station, downed a grape-flavored energy shot, and took over for Mick behind the counter. Mick gave him a wave and left, leaving Cronus utterly alone in the store save Laurie, who was working in the back and would take over behind the register only for his breaks.

He settled back against the wall, staring out at the inventory. He wouldn't have to start restocking anything until ten or ten-thirty, and that was hours away. He couldn't listen to his iPod even though there was no one here, he couldn't check his phone even though there was no one here, and he couldn't even write on a couple sheets of notebook paper.

It was so stupid, he hadn't even been able to tell Sollux when the kid had asked him, but he wanted to be a novelist. He tended to scribble bits and pieces of stories on scraps of paper throughout his day, but nothing cohesive, and he couldn't write at work unless he was on his break. It was embarrassing, but it was his true passion.

So he waited for some customer to walk in and interrupt the monotony that was undoubtedly the rest of his work day, all the while waiting for his 5 Hour Energy shot to kick in and trying not to fall asleep behind the counter.

It didn't make sense for him to be this tired right now—it was only a little after six right now—but he was. Maybe it was because he hadn't gotten to sleep until almost four in the morning, and even then, he only slept until nine. He'd been utterly unable to fall asleep after that, too, no matter how he tried. For some reason, his body just wasn't having it.

He needed to switch back to the day shift before he lost his fucking mind.

Someone came in about twenty minutes later and bought forty dollars' worth of gas. He stuck that in his register, rang up the guy on pump six, and went back to his regularly-scheduled boredom. About a half an hour later, a small group of teens wandered in and browsed the racks for a solid ten minutes before the oldest-looking of the bunch attempted to buy a pack of cigarettes. He barely looked fifteen, though, so Cronus asked to see his ID.

"Uh, I left it in my car," the kid said after patting down his pockets.

"I can wait," Cronus said pleasantly, idly tapping the cigarettes against the counter.

The kids all exchanged nervous glances.

"Or," Cronus went on, just as pleasantly, "you can leave an' I can pretend you were never here. _Technically,_ I never saw your ID, so I don't have proof you're under eighteen, so I can't _actually_ call the cops an' tell 'em minors attempted to purchase tobacco products. How's that sound?"

It must have sounded pretty damn good because they beat it out of there in a hurry, leaving Cronus alone again.

He put the cigarettes back on the shelf, stared at them for a few moments, and sighed. With both Meenah and Eridan harping on him about quitting smoking, he'd finally decided to do it, but it was tough going when you worked at a gas station and could actually have a steady supply of nicotine to you every day. He supposed he could have used a nicotine patch or even one of those electronic cigarettes, but he was more of the "quit cold turkey" kind of guy. His stupid pride wouldn't allow him any kind of assistance, so he'd taken to staring at the shelves like they were a supermodel and hoping he wasn't drooling.

It was worse right now since he was bored out of his mind and all he could think about was that smoking would give him something to focus on beyond his own boredom. He needed to be able to do something at work—this no-customers, no-distractions thing was getting kind of old.

He wondered what Eridan was doing right now, if he was having fun with his friends, if he'd gotten any candy yet, but mostly he wondered who would be getting home first: Eridan or him. Either seemed likely—Cronus supposed his brother could very well opt to sleep at Sollux's place tonight. It would certainly be a welcome relief from Monday and Tuesday nights. All he knew was, if he got home tonight and he heard moaning from Eridan's room, he _would_ throw the unholiest and unmanliest of bitch-fits.

The bell over the door jingled, drawing Cronus out of himself, and he scanned the store to see two guys roaming the aisles with long jackets and masks on, one a monkey head, and the other a wolf head. _Jesus fucking Christ._ Herein lay the reason he _didn't_ like Halloween—people in masks coming into stores and forgetting they had masks on. "Hey, cats, Halloween's cool an' all, but I need you to take off your masks while you're in the store."

The one in the monkey mask drew up to the counter without removing his disguise. Cronus opened his mouth to warn him again, but then the guy pulled a handgun out of his jacket and leveled it at Cronus's head. "Shut the fuck up," the guy spat as his partner went around to the side and withdrew a sawed-off shotgun. He also aimed right at Cronus's head, and for a few seconds, all Cronus could do was wonder what his brains would look like splattered against the wall behind him. For some reason, the sudden thought that he might actually die tonight was hysterical, and he fought not to laugh. He was sure it would come out sounding insane, especially considering the circumstances. No one but him would laugh with two guns to his head.

He hoped Laurie would have sense enough to stay in the back room and call the police.

"Empty out the fucking register! Slowly!" the guy in the wolf mask barked.

"Don't even fucking _think_ about hitting that button for the cops, either!" Monkey Man added.

"There's not—" he started, but Monkey Man cut him off.

"Shut the fuck up! Listen to the man—empty the fucking register!" He flung a burlap bag at Cronus and he caught it easily, realizing too late that he could have missed it, let it fall to the floor, and surreptitiously called for the police on his way up. Too late now, though.

Just as Wolf Man instructed, Cronus slowly entered his employee ID number to pop open the register. The instructions for an event like this was to just give the robbers what they wanted as quickly as possible, only calling for the cops after the robbers left unless you could call them earlier without endangering yourself or anyone else in the store. The point was that monetary loss could be handled, but the loss of life was to be prevented at all costs. He supposed that was a noble endeavor, but right now, the only one in any immediate danger was him.

"What the fuck are you doing? Faster!" Wolf Man ordered.

"You said—"

"Shut the fuck up and do what he says! Do you wanna fucking die tonight?"

He knew it was a rhetorical question, but his inner smartass would not be contained. "My dead grandmother did invite me over for tea, actually," he joked, earning himself a smack in the side of the head with the butt of Monkey Man's handgun. He knew he needed to tone down the sarcasm—he'd always suspected that it might one day get him killed—but he was too busy trying not to laugh. He'd just gotten pistol-whipped. That wasn't something just anyone could say. Even as he felt the blood trickling from his left temple, he couldn't help but think that, if he did manage to survive this, it would make one Hell of a story. _Mom and Dad are gonna flip the fuck out, though._

Why couldn't he summon any fear? Wasn't he supposed to be terrified at the prospect of dying? Why did that thought fill him not with fear but with acceptance? _If I die, I die, and there's nothing I can do about it. It was gonna happen eventually, so why fight it?_ Part of him would probably wish he'd gotten to say goodbye to his parents and to Eridan, to tell Sollux to take care of his idiot little brother, to tell Meenah that he loved her one last time, but there would be nothing he could do to change his fate if either of these assholes decided to pull the trigger.

He moved a little faster to pop open the till. It opened with a _ding_ and he started digging out the seventy-some dollars and God knew how much change. He tossed it in the burlap bag they'd given him and pushed the till closed, handing the bag back to Monkey Man over the counter.

"What the fuck, that's _it_?"

"I tried to tell you," Cronus said. "There's not a lot in there."

"Throw in your fucking wallet, too," Wolf Man said suddenly.

He always had at least two hundred dollars on him at all times. It wasn't for any particular reason—most people carried twenties in case of emergencies, but he had two hundred. Right now, since he was planning on picking something up for Meenah tomorrow, he had over five hundred dollars on him, and there was no way in Hell these assclowns were getting their hands on his money.

"What? Looks like there's a lot in there," Wolf Man said by way of explanation. Monkey Man had cocked his head to the side as if in confusion.

"You lookin' at my ass, buddy? Sorry to disappoint you, but I already got a girl, an' I'm one of those 'one at a time' kinda guys."

Monkey Man struck him again, and a fresh cut opened up on the side of his head. It felt like a mere half an inch below the other one.

An idea hit him at the same time as Monkey Man's gun, and he crumpled to the floor. He let out an exaggerated groan and groped for the counter, using it to pull himself to his feet. As he did so, he subtly pushed the police call button with his thumb. "Owwie. Jesus, cat, that hurt," he said, rubbing at his temple with his free hand.

"He hit the button," Wolf Man observed. At his angle to Cronus, he knew the guy would be able to see it, but he was beyond caring. He'd been pistol-whipped twice in five minutes and they wanted to not only rob the store, but rob him. He was exhausted and hysterical and he'd reached the end of his rope.

"Shit!" Monkey Man said. Already, there was the faint sound of sirens approaching, and Cronus prayed they were actually coming for the store and not somewhere else. "They're gonna be here soon!"

"Then take the fucking cash and let's go!"

Monkey Man decided this was the right course of action to take because he snatched up the bag with seventy whole dollars in it and started to follow Wolf Man out of the store.

"Hope it was worth it!" Cronus called after him.

He ended up regretting it, though, because on his way out, Monkey Man paused, aimed, and fired, and everything went dark.

  
_**END INTERMISSION VI.** _

* * *

_**ACT 61** _

_Twelve hours earlier._

Eridan sprinkled more fish flakes into the fish tank before he headed to the kitchen for his usual morning pot of coffee. There were no sounds coming from his brother's room, so he figured Cro had been working late (which made sense, considering he hadn't come home until ten) and was now sleeping peacefully. He certainly didn't want to disturb that, so he left him alone, finished off his coffee, made another half a pot, dumped it into his Thermos and left. He had his costume in a garment bag along with his backpack, and when he got to his car, he lay his garment bag in his trunk. He'd probably change into it after school unless he was feeling really nerdy and decided to put it on during lunch. That would be a sure way to embarrass Sol—then again, the kid was going as a fucking bee for Halloween, so he probably had a thick skin, at least when it came to stuff like that.

When he got to the cafeteria building to relax for a few minutes before his class (and also to restock on the coffee he'd drunk on the way over), he caught sight of the table Aradia, Nepeta, and Equius were sitting at. It was actually pretty obvious it was them too, since every single one of them was already wearing their costume. Nepeta was dressed as a lion, with a huge, fairly-impressive mane. She seemed to have taken her costume to heart, too, since she'd curled up basically on the table and fallen asleep. Equius had on a horse costume, although his was less impressive than Nepeta's lion costume. When Eridan looked at him, he was forcibly reminded of the phrase "horse cock," and he almost shuddered. That really wasn't what he wanted to think about at eight-thirty in the morning.

Aradia, for some unfathomable reason, was dressed like a ram. His only indication that she _was_ a ram were the huge, spiraling horns on her head, coming out from her hair and wrapping around toward the back, and the fact that she was attempting to headbutt Equius in the shoulder. He either didn't notice or chose to ignore her, although the small smile on his face seemed to indicate the latter.

Eridan shook his head, smiling to himself, and went to the coffee. He'd been hoping he could make it there with enough time to talk to Fef before her first class, but it had started at eight-thirty, so he'd missed her. He was actually fairly upset about this, because he hadn't really had the chance to talk to her yesterday, either. There would probably be time during lunch, though. Speaking of which...

_Might as well get it sorted out now._ Once he'd filled up his Thermos again, he sent a text message to Fef. _hey wwanna havve lunch today? missed you yesterday_

Her response came sooner than he expected. _S)(ore! Sorry about yesterday, too, I was splashing around wit)( Dave._

Well, _that_ was unexpected. _somefin goin on wwith you twwo?_

_Maybe, we'll sea!_

Considering that just one week before, he'd been convinced he had a crush on her, he was surprisingly okay with this turn of events. Of course, the realization that he didn't actually like her like that probably helped, too.

He waved at Aradia and Equius as he left the cafeteria area and headed off to his first class.

* * *

Jade was a little nervous about meeting Vriska's family, especially Aranea, mostly because she seemed so hesitant to talk about them. Still, when she showed up to Vriska's house that evening dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West but with the Wicked Witch of the East's tights and ruby-red shoes, she had a smile on her face.

Vriska hadn't been at school at all that day, but Jade had texted her throughout most of the morning, so she knew they were still on for dinner and trick-or-treating. She showed up around three-thirty, well before even the youngest of trick-or-treaters, so she knew she wouldn't be mistaken for one when she rang the bell. Besides, Vriska answered, clad in her Spiderwoman costume except without a mask. "Hey!" she said excitedly, tugging Jade through the door.

Jade looked around. The front room had already changed since the last time she'd been here—it was now filled with Halloween decorations, although a few of the decorations in the back corner seemed to deviate from the black-and-orange theme with white and blue and yellow. She didn't have a chance to inspect further because Vriska still had a firm grip on her arm and was pulling her toward the kitchen.

"Hey, Mom?" Vriska asked, peering around the corner. "My friend Jade is here."

Jade was finally able to look in the kitchen as Vriska let go of her. Pulling a tray of chicken wings out from the oven was a tall woman with dark hair who was clearly Vriska's mother. Mrs. Serket gave her a warm smile.

"Hi, Jade, you can just call me Kali, okay?"

Jade nodded. "It's nice to meet you. Thanks for having me over."

"No problem at all! Vriska hardly ever brings any friends of hers home," she added with a meaningful look at her daughter.

"There's a reason for that," Vriska sing-songed as she walked away, and Jade quickly followed her. "And her name is Aranea," she added under her breath.

"Sorry?" Jade asked.

"The reason I don't bring friends over. It's Aranea," she said, keeping her voice low with a nervous glance to the kitchen.

"What, your mom doesn't know about that?"

"If you mean she has no idea what a total cunt my sister can be, no, she doesn't. I don't feel like being the one to clue her in, though."

As if on cue, Aranea emerged from a room down the hall and looked out at them. "Who's this?" she asked, looking over Jade as if trying to dissect her.

"This is Jade. Be nice."

"Friend of yours?" she asked suspiciously.

"So what if she is?"

Aranea shot Jade a glare, and Jade got the distinct feeling that if she could have dropped the house on her, she would have. "Whatever. It's your life." Aranea retreated back into her room and the door slammed behind her.

"Wow. That was..."

"I know," Vriska said apologetically. "She... I don't know, she doesn't like people all that much."

"Oh." Jade felt awkward for a moment until she heard Vriska's mom call, "Dinner's ready!"

Aranea reemerged from her room and the four of them sat down to delicious pizza and wings. Jade flat-out expected Aranea to glare at her all evening and make snide remarks to her, but as if she were a completely different person, she was nothing but sweet as Halloween candy.

_Don't 8e fooled 8y Aranea's fake niceness. It's all an act,_ came Vriska's text message.

_Why is she so mean, though?_

_I don't really know. She just really doesn't like people, I guess._

Jade actually kind of felt bad for Aranea now. What had happened to her to make her this cold?

"I know you girls probably want to get on with trick-or-treating, but will you at least stay for cake and ice cream?" Vriska's mom asked.

"Cake and ice cream?" Jade asked. "Another Halloween tradition?"

Across the table, Aranea rolled her eyes. Vriska's mom didn't see her and just laughed. "No, no, for Vriska's birthday!"

Jade whirled to face Vriska. "You never told me it was your birthday!" That must have been what the strangely-colored decorations were in the corner—birthday decorations. She felt like an idiot.

"I know," she said, looking apologetic. "I didn't want you to think you had to get me a present or something."

That wasn't the point. You were supposed to tell your friends stuff like that. "You still could have told me."

Apparently, this was the wrong thing to say, because Vriska murmured, "Sorry," and looked as though Jade had just told her she was a horrible person.

"It's okay," Jade said quickly, instinctively throwing her arms around Vriska in an awkward side hug. After a moment, Vriska returned her hug.

"Okay," she said, sounding less upset than moments before. "Um, yeah, we're staying for cake and ice cream," she added to her mom.

After the obligatory singing of "Happy Birthday to You" and cake and ice cream (Vriska later informed her that they opened birthday presents at breakfast anyway, since they'd waited all year for their birthdays and it didn't make sense to wait until dinner and dessert), Vriska put on her Spiderwoman mask and she and Jade grabbed two pillowcases and dashed out of the house.

"Keep your phones on you!" Vriska's mom called after them as they left, and Vriska waved in acknowledgment.

"Holy crap, I'm glad that's over with," Vriska laughed.

"Why? I mean, yeah, Aranea seems like kind of a bitch, but..."

"Yeah, and that's exactly why. This way," she added, looking left and right and finally opting to go right. "She, um... I don't think she likes me having friends?"

"But that doesn't make any sense."

"It does if you think about it. She... it's a long story," Vriska sighed. "I'll tell you later."

So for the next four hours, the two of them wandered up and down the streets of Vriska's neighborhood, collecting huge candy bars from the neighbors before finally settling on one of the medians running between the two sides of the street. Jade's stomach was starting to hurt from all the food she'd already eaten, but that 3 Musketeers bar looked really good...

"Hey, are you gonna eat those Nerds?" Vriska asked. "I'll trade you the Whoppers for them."

Jade fished out as many boxes of Nerds as she could find. "I'll give you the Nerds for your peanut M&Ms."

"Done." Vriska buried her head in her bag of candy and pulled out a half a dozen regular-sized bags of peanut M&Ms. "Here, I got an idea. Any candy you don't want, put in front of you, and I'll do the same, and then we can trade that way."

That was a pretty good suggestion, so Jade rifled through her candy until she'd separated all her Laffy Taffy, Dum-Dum suckers, and plain Hershey's Chocolate and set them in front of her.

"Oh, man, you don't want these?" Vriska said excitedly, picking up the chocolate bars.

"Nah, I can't do pure chocolate. It makes me a little nauseous. I'll trade you for those bags of chips." Some sodium would probably settle her stomach a little, although the additional grease that came with it might negate the effects.

"You're completely insane, but I like it," Vriska laughed, tossing the snack bags of Lay's Chips at her.

"What about those Milky Ways? I'll take those."

"What else you got in that bag you want to part with? It better be good."

"100 Grand?"

"Done." Vriska already had one of the Hershey bars shoved in her mouth. Jade had no idea how she could eat it after they'd had all that cake and ice cream, but more power to her for being able to manage it. In the meantime, she tore open one of the bags of barbecue chips that Vriska had just tossed at her and settled back against the tree they were sitting in front of.

"This was a lot of fun."

Vriska nodded, starting to load her pillowcase back up. "It needs to be Halloween every day," she agreed.

"So it can be your birthday every day?" Jade teased.

"It wouldn't hurt," Vriska laughed. "But I had fun, too. Something about Halloween is just awesome."

"Plus, there's the candy."

" _All_ the candy. All of it."

They dissolved into fits of sugar-induced giggles and, again, Jade wondered how anyone could possibly hate Vriska Serket.

**_END ACT 61._ **


	62. Act 62

Sollux didn't end up seeing Eridan until after lunch, but the moment he did, he almost peed himself laughing.

He supposed it shouldn't have surprised him—Eridan _said_ he was going to be a wizard for Halloween—but he hadn't expected _this_. This was on a level far beyond what he imagined even Eridan to be capable of (and considering Eridan was a rich kid, he expected he was capable of a lot).

For one thing, Eridan's pointed hat stuck about two feet in the air and somehow hadn't made friends with his hair—it was perched awkwardly on his head, heedless of the usual metric ton of product he'd put into it that morning. For another, the billowing cape fastened around his neck had a rigid, foot-high collar and it probably skimmed the floor at the bottom (since he was sitting, though, it dragged on the floor for at least six inches). Beneath the cape, his robes had been adorned with stars (they may have been constellations, but Sollux couldn't tell) and crescent moons, and they brushed the tops of his pointed boots. He couldn't figure out where Eridan had stashed his wand, but he _knew_ there had to be one somewhere. The most hilarious part of all was that every part of the costume was the exact same shade of deep purple.

"What?" Eridan demanded, crossing his arms over his chest. His ridiculous sleeves flared as if in anger and it was all Sollux could do not to start laughing again.

"Um..." He finally stopped giggling and straightened up. Eridan was sitting at the table with Aradia, Feferi (who seemed to be dressed as a mermaid, but it was hard to tell since she was sitting and there was the table in the way), Nepeta, and Equius, and all of them looked pretty interested in what was going on, including Equius, which frankly surprised Sollux since he usually seemed more absorbed in his homework or whatever the Hell it was he did on his computer all day. "You said you wore that before?"

Eridan looked down and then back up. "Yeah. Last year an' the year before. Why?"

"Um." Sollux covered his mouth and tried to figure out how to ask his question without sounding like a jackass, but there really wasn't a way. Maybe it was better he didn't ask, either. After all, Eridan hadn't really said he was bisexual. Still, he wondered— _How the Hell was it not obvious he likes guys?_ "Nothing. Just... that costume is very..." He deliberated and finally said it. "Gay."

His boyfriend looked shocked as the rest of the table cracked up. Eridan immediately turned to Feferi and demanded, "Why didn't you tell me?"

She managed to suppress her giggles long enough to say, "I thought that was what you were going for!"

Eridan pulled his hat down over his eyes, turning red. "Really? Does it really look _that_ gay?"

"Just a little," Sollux said, trying not to laugh.

He sighed. "Alright, fine, well, I've already started to embrace my inner homo, so I might as well continue the trend."

Sollux felt like a bit of an asshole now—it seemed like he'd actually managed to hurt Eridan's feelings and that definitely hadn't been his intention. Eridan had sort of seemed to laugh it off, but it could have just been a cover, so he decided to apologize the second they were alone. He didn't want to make a big deal of it right now.

He sat down in the only unoccupied seat, the one between Eridan and Aradia, feeling a bit awkward. He was the only one not wearing at least some of his costume at the table—Nepeta had her full outfit on, as did Aradia, and Equius had horse ears and probably a tail but Sollux couldn't see it from this angle. He wished he'd thought to bring his bee antennae from home, but he figured it was a miracle he'd even been able to find the costume in the first place.

Around him, the conversation turned back toward the plan for the evening. As far as he gathered, they were meeting at Aradia's apartment and starting the party there, and her sister Damara would be joining them. They'd be trick-or-treating in her building and then move on to someone else's apartment complex, probably Feferi's, and then it would be on to Nepeta and Equius's neighborhood (they were renting a small two-bedroom townhouse in a neighborhood otherwise filled with sailors and their families). If they had time after that, they would go to Eridan's apartment building and then finish at Sollux's apartment. They had less than four hours to start the party, too, since it was two-thirty and they wanted to start collecting candy before six.

"Alright, team, grab anyone else you want to come with us and meet at my place by five-thirty," Aradia announced with the air of a football coach. "Ready? Break!"

_Oh, Jesus._ Sollux resisted the urge to smash his head against the table as their group started getting up and meandering away. He had to figure out when the next bus would be arriving at his bus stop and how to time his travels so he could show up at Aradia's place without feeling like a total idiot for wandering around to various bus stops dressed as a bee. Maybe it _would_ be easier to be drunk for this.

"Hey, Sol, you comin'?" Eridan asked.

"Huh?"

"Um, I'm drivin' you to your apartment I thought. It's gotta be faster than takin' the bus, anyway."

"Oh." Sollux looked around—everyone else had vanished from sight. "Um, yeah, I guess. Are you mad at me?"

Eridan bit his lip. "Not _mad_. Just a little..."

"Yeah, I know, that was a shitty thing to say. I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to upset you."

He gave Sollux a small smile. "It's okay. I'll be over it in a couple hours. So, yeah, we leavin' or what?"

* * *

Sol made him wait in the living room while he unearthed his costume from somewhere in his closet, but Eridan was okay with that. He'd never been to Sol's apartment before, so it gave him a chance to look around.

It was somehow smaller than he'd expected—he'd known Sol couldn't afford a really nice place or something, but he'd still expected more than this. He felt like he had barely any room to sit down even though the sofa probably seated three. There was a small TV on a stand, and the stand itself had sliding glass doors that displayed the two gaming systems and dozens of games for each console. The rest of the room seemed organized and clean, certainly not like his living room at Cronus's apartment. That was kind of a relief, even with the lingering scent of honey in the air.

_What the Hell, does the guy have a honey-scented air freshener?_ Even as he thought it, he realized it was probably the case.

After a few minutes of idle looking, he quickly grew bored and wondered what was taking him so long. Sol had told him that he knew where the costume was—there was no reason for this drawn-out wait. He pulled his wand out of a pocket he'd sewn into the inside of his robes and waved it at Sol's door as if he could somehow hurry him up.

Sol didn't emerge from the bedroom, but there came a knock at the front door and he called through the bedroom door, "Can you get that?"

Eridan rolled his eyes. "Alright." He stashed his wand again, went to the front door, and opened it up.

_What fresh Hell is this?_

Standing in the doorway was... Sol? Those weren't his glasses, and both of his eyes were brown again, and Eridan was _sure_ that was not how he was dressed earlier, but that was unmistakably him.

"Um, what the fuck is goin' on?"

Sol was grinning. "Hey, man, what's happening?" He spoke without a lisp now, which was also weird as Hell.

"I am extremely confused right now, that's all."

"Ah, _shit_ ," a voice from behind Eridan said. He turned and there was Sol again, half-dressed in his bee costume and staring at the Sol double in the doorway.

"I swear to God I have no idea what happened," Eridan started babbling by way of apology, feeling panic start to rise in his chest. "I didn't even know what I was doin', I just waved my wand an' now there's two of you an' I don't know how it happened but this might be kinda cool but I seriously don't—"

Sol—the one in the bee costume—put his hand over Eridan's mouth. "Yeah, okay, I have no idea what you're talking about right now."

The other Sol started laughing. "Jesus, Sollux, you never told him?"

Eridan wrenched Original Sol's hand away from his mouth. "Told me what?"

Original Sol sighed. "This is Mituna, my twin."

Eridan suddenly felt like an idiot. Of _course_ he couldn't use magic—he'd already accepted that he was a hopeless Muggle. If he had any magic in him, it would have manifested itself already. "Oh."

"Oh, God, this kid's _hysterical—_ who is he?" Mituna asked.

"Eridan, boyfriend. Mituna, leaving." Sol strode past him to stand between him and Mituna.

"But I just got here!"

"And what are you _doing_ here? You didn't tell me you were coming."

"What? We hung out on Halloween last year," Mituna protested.

"Yeah, and I already have plans this year."

Eridan got the distinct feeling he was missing something important, but he couldn't tell what.

"Like what?"

"Hanging out with _friends_."

"Oooh, that's cold," Mituna said, but he was grinning again. "Well, alright, suit yourself, little bro, but if you get bored, just text me and me and Latula will come get you, okay?"

"Yeah, no," Sol grumbled.

"Ha-ha!" Mituna pulled Sol into a tight hug, let him go before it got too awkward, and sailed down the hallway toward the elevators. Sol slammed the door as hard as he could.

"Wow. An' I thought things with me an' Cro were weird."

Sol rubbed his temples, slumping back against the door. "So, yeah, that's _my_ brother. Seems nice enough but I can't stand him."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later, okay? Just trust me when I say he's a jerk."

Eridan couldn't help but be slightly amused, but he wrapped his arms around Sol and said, "Aw, it's okay, I'll make you feel better."

Sol laughed in spite of his mood and slung his arms around Eridan's waist. "Alright, fine.

"Were you about to suggest a threesome with him? Because I'm pretty sure he doesn't swing that way," he added.

"What, me? Not at all. I have a pure mind."

"Pure as a septic tank."

Eridan swatted at his shoulder and found himself staring at Sol's lips. He had the sudden urge to kiss him, and since it had been, what, at least a day since the last time they'd kissed anyway, he did just that, pressing his mouth to Sol's and completely ignoring the way their glasses smashed awkwardly together.

"Sorry your brother is an ass," he murmured, pulling back for a moment.

"Meh. I'm used to him. I don't have to see him that often, so..." Sol shrugged. "Although he _was_ at the club the night of TZ's birthday. Oh, yeah, another funny thing, Latula, his girlfriend, is TZ's sister."

"Weird."

"Yeah, we didn't know it until we all got there and he just appeared out of nowhere."

"No, I meant the part about you goin' to a club," he joked.

Sol glared at him for a second. "I'll have you know I punched a guy in the face while I was there."

Eridan snorted with laughter. "Yeah, right."

"I did," he insisted. "I threw up right after, too. You can ask AA or EQ or NP—they all saw."

"What happened?"

"Just... some creepy guy wouldn't leave AA alone, so 'subtle' and 'not-so-subtle' weren't quite working. I just punched him in the face and he got the message. Then I sprinted outside and did the Technicolor yawn."

" _Wow_. You really know how to tell a story, Sol." He made a face. "That was a disgustin' description."

Sollux snorted with laughter. "Yeah, I know. It was great." He gave Eridan a light kiss. "Now I have to finished getting dressed."

"But we got hours before we gotta be at Ara's place," Eridan practically whined.

"I am _not_ inviting my brother back for a three-way," Sol joked, finally unwinding his arms from around Eridan. "I'll be back out in a few minutes."

So Eridan went and sat back on the couch, waiting for his boyfriend to finish getting ready to they could finally start having fun.


	63. Act 63

When they finally arrived at Aradia's place, nearly everyone had already assembled there—her sister Damara, Equius, Nepeta, and John ( _that_ was a surprise—Eridan hadn't realized he would be coming) were there, but Feferi hadn't shown up yet. It was still only five-fifteen, though, and by five-thirty, Feferi had arrived with a ninja who was probably Dave behind her.

Aradia made them wait for a few extra minutes since Kanaya and Rose were supposed to be joining them, but they hadn't shown up by six, so they started trick-or-treating without them.

Aradia had completed her ram costume with a very fuzzy zip-up hoodie and leggings with what looked to be gray-colored cotton balls sewn on. Sol remarked that she looked more like a sheep than a ram, so she headbutted him. Damara was dressed in a typical Ghostface from _Scream_ costume that, nonetheless, was slightly ruined with the addition of a scythe. She said she knew Ghostface didn't have a scythe but she'd had it from a few years ago and wanted to use it just for the Hell of it. Equius had changed into brown pants and a brown shirt that matched his skin tone almost perfectly, and someone—Nepeta, Eridan suspected—had brushed his hair out into a very long ponytail to serve as a mane. As for John, well, Eridan couldn't tell what he was supposed to be. He was wearing all blue—hoodie, jeans, and shoes—and the design on his hoodie looked like it might have been wind, but Eridan really had no clue.

For the first few doors, they all tried to look as young as possible, but after it became clear that there weren't a whole lot of kids and teenagers in the building to begin with and that just about everyone trick-or-treating looked to be about their age or older, they started fooling around. Dave had a tendency to hide halfway down the hallway, sprint toward the door they were at, ninja-roll, and snag candy on his way. Aradia thought it was hysterical and, even though she was woefully out-of-character for a ninja-roll, began following his example.

Nepeta soon grew bored of walking and climbed up onto Equius's back. She had to duck down so her lion's ears didn't hit the ceiling, but she said it was much preferable to walking with the rest of the peasants, and Equius didn't really seem to notice anyway (and he was dressed as a horse, so he must have expected Nepeta would pull a stunt like that).

Everywhere they went, Damara followed five feet behind them. She'd somehow mastered the ability to walk without making it look like she was walking—she seemed to glide along behind them, silent as a specter. Sometimes Aradia would give her sister a concerned look, but for the most part, Damara seemed cool, so Eridan mostly ignored her.

She ended up having to leave right around the time they were nearly finished at Feferi's apartment building, though. Her phone rang and she flipped her mask up to check it. "It's my boss," she mumbled, staring at the screen in irritation.

"Just ignore it!" Aradia said. "We're having so much fun!"

"Yeah, but he wouldn't be calling unless it was an emergency. Hang on. Hello?" She waited for a few moments before the annoyance on her face grew more pronounced. " _Why_? I switched with—" Suddenly, her expression shifted completely to one of stunned horror. "Oh, no, when? Okay, well... yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can. Yeah, give me like a half an hour, okay? I'm out with my sister and her friends, that's why, unless you want me showing up dressed like that _Scream_ guy. Okay, twenty minutes. I'll hurry."

"What happened?" Aradia demanded. "He's not making you come in, is he?"

"I have to. There was a shooting at work. The guy who switched with me got shot, and... I just gotta go, okay? You guys have fun." With that, Damara practically sprinted away, tearing her mask completely off.

No matter what she said, though, the mood was ruined. "A shooting?" Aradia asked softly. "That's awful."

"Halloween brings out the nutters," Eridan said. "Probably a robbery or somethin'. But, hey, good thing it wasn't your sister there, or she might a' gotten shot."

"Yeah, I guess, but _still_. I'd rather no one got shot at all."

They tried to get back into the swing of trick-or-treating, and they actually succeeded for awhile as they moved along to Equius and Nepeta's neighborhood. Eridan really wanted to hold Sol's hand on the drive over to the next destination, but he was face-first in his bag of candy, already rifling through the booty and sorting out what he wanted and what he didn't.

His complete bee outfit was kind of cute and kind of sad. There were antennae made of bouncy springs with yellow balls of fluff at the ends and the rest of the costume was black leggings and a puffy shell of a thorax in alternating stripes of black and yellow that covered him from shoulders to halfway down his thighs with a set of floppy limbs that Eridan realized were supposed to give him six legs total. For once, Sol's shoes matched—they were both black. He also hadn't followed through on his threat to make himself a stinger.

He parked his car behind Equius's Suburban. He and Sol climbed out just as his phone rang and he groaned.

"Alright, that's it, everyone turns off their phones!" Aradia said.

"That's probably a bad idea. Emergencies happen," Sol pointed out.

"Alright, fine, put them on vibrate or something—they ruin the mood."

Eridan didn't recognize the number, but it had a local area code so he answered it anyway. "Hello?"

"Good evening, is this Eridan Ampora?"

"Uh, yeah, who's this?"

"My name is Phil, and I'm calling from Scripps' Mercy Hospital. We need you to come in immediately."

He felt a cold weight settle in his chest. "Why?"

"We have your brother Cronus here."

He very nearly dropped his phone. "Is he... okay?"

"I can't give any details over the phone, sir. I just need you to come in immediately."

"Yeah, okay, I'll... I'll be right there. Thanks." He hung up, feeling ready to fall over. He was acutely aware of everyone staring at him, but he focused his attention on Aradia. "Hey. Where did you say your sister worked?"

The pieces fell into place. "Circle K at Twelfth and Imperial. Why?"

_It might not have been him. It could have been anyone else. They never said he was shot._ "That's where my brother works. An'... he was workin' tonight."

"Oh, my God. So he...?"

"They didn't say. He's just in the hospital." He tried to breathe past the pressure in his chest but he couldn't, it was too hard, Cronus was shot, he could be _dead_ , and he couldn't even remember the last thing he said to him. This couldn't be happening.

He headed back to his car and started sliding in the driver's seat before he noticed Sol was getting back in, too. "What are you doin'?"

Sol gave him a genuinely confused look. "Going with you. Unless you don't want me to, I guess. I mean, I can stay if you'd rather do this alone."

Actually, doing this alone sounded like the worst possible idea ever. He did not want to do this alone _at all_ , and even though it might not do any actual good to have Sol with him, at least he wouldn't be by himself if the worst-case scenario was actually happening. He shook his head. "No, you're fine. You can come with me."

* * *

Eridan _really_ didn't know what to expect when the nurse led him and Sol to the bed with the curtains drawn all the way around it in a far corner of the emergency room, but when the nurse pulled the curtain back to admit them, there was Cronus with his head bandaged and his eyes closed.

"Jesus," Eridan murmured, feeling like he was about to fall over. He dropped into a chair and just stared at his brother for a few moments until the nurse walked away.

Abruptly, Cronus opened one eye and then the other with a grin crossing his face. "Hey, little monster," he said weakly.

_You asshole!_ Eridan wanted to scream at him, but he never got the chance because he jumped up and threw his arms around Cronus. "You suck," he said instead.

Cronus chuckled, hugging Eridan tightly. "Yeah, I know."

"What happened? Damara said—"

"You talked to Damara?"

"We were hangin' out with her sister an' her, an' a couple hours ago, Damara got a call sayin' there was a shootin' or somethin'."

"That's wild—I had no idea you guys knew her."

"Her sister Aradia is my best friend," Sol said.

"Even weirder."

"But what the fuck happened?" Eridan asked again, finally letting go of his brother.

Cronus let out a sigh as Eridan settled onto the edge of the bed. "These two cats came in an' wandered around the store for a minute without takin' off their masks, so I told them to take 'em off all calm-like, an' the next thing I know, I got two guns pointed at my head, right? They came in for money, obviously, since they gave me this bag an' told me to empty the register, not that there was a whole lot in it to begin with. So I dump all seventy dollars or whatever into the bag, but you know me, I can't keep my fuckin' mouth shut an' I keep makin' all these smart-ass comments an' the one guy—" Cronus let out a hysterical giggle. "The one guy pistol-whips me right upside the head, right?" He indicated his left temple, where the bandage wrapped around. "Twice, actually, but two separate times for two different comments. But like the other guy saw there wasn't a whole lot of money in there so he told me to put my wallet in there, too, an' I'm like, 'Fuck, no, asshole,' except that's not really what I said but it was the basic idea, which is what led to me gettin' pistol-whipped the second time, but that time I had a' idea an' I went down to the floor like he really fuckin' hurt me, an' I got back up an' hit the police call button all subtle-like but the other guy saw it so they got the fuck outta there in a hurry, except..." He sighed. "Man, I _had_ to open my big fuckin' mouth. I was like, 'Hope it was worth it,' all obnoxious-like, an' the guy that was doin' all the pistol-whippin' just shoots at me. I guess he was kinda a bad shot since he was like five feet away an' he only clipped the side of my head or somethin'." He rubbed the right side of his head, biting at his lip for a second. "That or he really just didn't get a good shot lined up. Like he barely stopped movin' as he shot which was good for me, I guess, except I really thought it was lights-out 'cause I passed the fuck out. Next thing I know, I'm layin' here with a nurse stitchin' up the new holes in my head. I hear I'm gonna have a couple a' wicked scars, though," he added, wiggling his eyebrows, or at least seeming to. There appeared to be some movement underneath the bandage in the general area of his forehead.

"Can you feel anythin'?"

"Nah, they got me doped up pretty good." Eridan _had_ noticed that Cronus seemed to be slurring a bit more than normal.

"What about the cops? They _are_ gonna investigate this, right?"

"Oh, yeah, the cops already came an' went. That's why they called you in, little monster," he added, attempting to ruffle Eridan's hair, but with the hat on his head and the gel in his hair, the attempt was an abject failure. "I guess they don't need anythin' else from me an' I should be good to go to take this monstrosity off my fuckin' face tomorrow mornin', so yeah, drive me home, chauffeur. An' if Bumblebee Boyfriend is stayin' the night tonight, I'm playin' the 'just got shot at' card an' demandin' you two keep it in your pants. A cat needs his sleep."

"A cat's high as tits," Eridan mumbled. "Have you told Mom an' Dad?"

Cronus looked a little nervous. "No, an' I might not."

"Cro, they're gonna find out. Shit like this is probably all over the news right now. They know where you work an' they're gonna call, all worried an' shit, an' I'll have to be like, 'Yeah, guys, that's where Cro works, an' funny story but he was the one that got shot' an' let me tell you, they are _not_ gonna like that. You should probably tell them pretty quick."

"I can't call 'em now, I'm high as tits!" he protested.

"Jesus, just send them a text an' tell them you're fine an' you'll call them tomorrow. An' then actually call them tomorrow."

"You can't boss me around—I just got shot."

Eridan pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at Sol. He just got a glimpse of Sol's huge grin before it vanished behind his hand. "Jesus. Okay, Sol, come on, help me get this stoner to the car."

Cronus mercifully fell asleep in the back seat on the way back to the apartment.


	64. Act 64

"Can you help me out with him?" Eridan asked, pulling open the back door of his car.

"Uh, yeah, sure." Sollux had long since taken off his antennae, so maneuvering Cronus so his arm was around his neck was a fairly straightforward process. Eridan sighed and flung his hat into the back seat as soon as Cronus was out of the car.

The elder Ampora was still out cold, but he was on pretty heavy-dose painkillers. It didn't surprise Sollux all that much, although he seemed to come around for a few moments at a time as the three of them, Cronus in the middle propped up by him and Eridan on either side, made their way up to the apartment.

They drew a few stares in the lobby, and someone asked obnoxiously, "Too much to drink?" but Eridan was not having any of his shit because he snapped, "He got shot, asshole!" and slammed his palm against the button for the elevator. Sollux slid his arm from the middle of Cronus's back to Eridan's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"It's okay," he murmured.

"Fuckin' _jackass_ ," Eridan spat, jaw clenched.

Sollux didn't know what else to do—he didn't know if there was even anything he _could_ do. He couldn't imagine what kind of emotional roller coaster Eridan was on right now. After all, finding out your brother had gotten shot and then finding out he was actually alive and relatively unharmed considering how bad it _could_ have been and then snarky comments from idiots who didn't know any better all in one night was more than enough to set someone on-edge. He had to believe that, as much as Mituna annoyed him, he would probably react similarly if he found out he'd gotten shot at while at work.

They finally got Cronus into his bed and threw a blanket over him, but he barely noticed it. He was dead to the world, which made sense, all things considered. Eridan pulled out the bottle of painkillers that Cronus had been prescribed and set them on his nightstand.

"Okay." He looked around for a moment or two as though he'd never seen the room before. "Well, he didn't call my parents, so I guess I gotta. Give me a few, okay?"

Sollux nodded. "Just let me know when you're ready," he said, and quickly ducked out.

As soon as the door closed, Eridan sighed and sat down on the edge of Cronus's bed. He really didn't want to make this call—it should have been Cronus—but their parents would worry if he didn't.

His dad answered on the second ring. "Eridan, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Not... not really. Have you seen the news, by any chance?"

"A few minutes ago, but there wasn't anything important, not really."

"Nothing about a shootin' at a Circle K?"

His father was silent for a few moments. "Now that you mention it, I do seem to remember something about that, but I didn't pay much attention. It was a robbery or something, I think." His voice sharpened. "You weren't involved with that, were you? Are you okay?"

"I—I'm fine, Dad. But... Cronus got shot."

There was a stunned silence on his father's end of the line before he heard him call over his shoulder, "Cronus got shot!" Following that was the faint sound of his mother's gasp of horror and then the ambiance changed. Eridan guessed they put him on speaker.

"What the Hell happened?" his mother demanded.

"He's fine," Eridan said, opting to answer the question neither of them asked. He knew it was serious when his mother actually swore. "Apparently the bullet like grazed the side of his head or somethin'. The way he tells it, a couple a' guys came in to rob the store an' he kept makin' smart-ass remarks an' he got pistol-whipped a couple a' times an' he managed to call the cops but then he had to get one last comment in as the two guys left so the one shot at him but didn't really hit him. Anyway, he's back home now an' sleepin' off the painkillers they gave him—hey, look, they gave him heavy-dose Vicodin—an' his noodle's all bandaged up but he'll be okay. I told him to call you but he fell asleep before he could so I'm gonna make sure he calls you guys tomorrow."

"What about the assholes who shot him?" she asked now, the worry in her voice now replaced by fury. Eridan would have smiled if the situation wasn't so grim—it wasn't often his mother showed her teeth.

"Cro said the cops already talked to him. I don't know if that means they took a statement or they just talked an' they're gonna take a statement later but I don't know what good it'll do. Apparently both these nutters were wearin' masks so unless they find the masks with the guys still in them, the cops won't be able to do much. It doesn't sound like the video footage has much, either, if they were in masks. Then again, they may have some police-force sorcery they could work."

"The important thing is that he's alive," his father said, sounding as though he was trying to reassure his wife more than himself. "And he's already out of the hospital, so they obviously don't think he's in any danger."

"Exactly." Eridan rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, um, I'm gonna call Meenah an' see if she'll stay with him tomorrow—"

"Who's Meenah again?"

"That's Feferi Peixes's sister, remember?" his mother reminded her husband.

"Yeah, an' apparently she's also Cro's girlfriend. I did not know about that the last time I saw you guys."

"Oh. Well, that's good for him, then."

"Yeah, anyway, I'll make sure he calls you tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright, kiddo. Stay safe."

"I will." He hesitated a beat. "I love you."

"We love you, too, Eridan."

"Yeah. Bye." He hung up feeling really awkward, but not as awkward as he thought he'd be under the circumstances. Now the question remained as to how he was supposed to get Meenah's number.

He had two options: he could try to dig out Cronus's phone from his pocket (sure to be odd if Cronus happened to wake up), or he could call Feferi to get it. He really wanted to go for the latter choice, but it was nearing midnight by now and he figured she'd probably be in a sugar-induced coma right about now, so he reluctantly went about patting down his brother's pockets.

Mercifully, he found his brother's phone fairly quickly and he'd seen Cronus put in the password pattern about a thousand times so he was able to pull up his contact list and scroll down to Meenah's name. He figured she'd be more likely to check out a text from Cronus as opposed to a random number, so he sent her a message right from his phone.

_hey meenah its eridan. look cronus got shot at tonight at wwork an hes fine but do you think you could like come ovver an wwatch him tomorroww just in case_

He set the phone aside, looked over his brother's snoring form one last time, and decided he couldn't do anything else tonight. He stood up as carefully as he could even though he didn't think a chainsaw could have woken him up at this point and finally left Cronus's room.

Sol wasn't in the living room when Eridan closed his brother's door behind him, but his own bedroom door was slightly ajar, so he went to investigate and found Sol sitting in front of his fish tank, watching the fish swim around.

Which reminded Eridan that they hadn't been fed since this morning. "Fuck," he muttered, hurrying to the desk and startling Sol in the process.

"I didn't—" Sol started, misinterpreting his expletive as one against him instead of one against himself.

"That's not it." He found the fish flakes, removed the cover, and sprinkled a solid tablespoon into the water. Almost immediately, Sunshine, Daisy, and Butter Mellow all bobbed up and began eating. "I just haven't fed them since before I left this mornin'," he explained quietly.

"Oh." Sol looked from Eridan to the fish and back. "So which one's which?"

He was grateful for any distraction. "That one right there, the big one, that's Sunshine. That one with the black spot on its back is Daisy. That small one is Butter Mellow."

Sol tilted his head to the side. "Oh, yeah. Now I can see it."

Eridan looked over his fish for a few moments. He felt something inside him melting, as though his internal springs weren't coiled as tightly anymore. Everything that happened today was finally falling, sinking in, and he suddenly realized he was crying.

Sol realized it at the same moment because right away he stood up and hugged him, and the next thing Eridan knew, he was clinging to Sol and sobbing into his shoulder and he didn't even know _why_. Cronus wasn't dead, his fish weren't dead, everything was going to be okay—but he was just so tired. It went beyond physical exhaustion, though, delving into a mental and emotional ache because he was so used to being the "little brother," so used to the idea that Cronus would always be there, that the moment he realized it might not always be the case, that suddenly Cronus was the one who needed to be taken care of, he accepted it without thinking. But now that he saw what could have been, he was shaking, crying, terrified of what it would mean when Cronus was gone for good. He knew deep down that he wouldn't rely on Cronus forever, but he'd taken his brother for granted and almost lost him.

Everything had changed, though, for the second time in as many weeks. He wasn't sure he'd ever go back to really feeling like the little brother again, not after he'd seen Cronus at what was possibly his worst. He'd go back to thinking about the first few seconds after he saw Cronus lying in that hospital bed and he didn't know what had happened or if he'd be alright, and he'd remember that his charmed childhood was over and he'd grown up more in the last few hours than he had since he turned eighteen.

But mostly, he felt relief. Cronus was still alive, he would be okay, and he had Sol here to hold him. It was soothing to have him here, to be able to cry into his neck and feel Sol's arms around him and one hand in his hair (and that felt really nice), but his tears finally subsided and he pulled back, wiping his nose. "So," he said, laughing, "you goin' home or stayin' here?"

Sol grinned. "I am _not_ doing my Walk of Shame in a fucking bee costume. Take me home."

"Alright, suit yourself."

"Are... are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I just haven't decided if I'm comin' in to school tomorrow. After all this, I think I need a' early weekend, an' if Meenah can't watch him tomorrow, I'm gonna do it."

"He probably doesn't need you to watch him," Sol said gently.

"I know he doesn't, but it's for me, not him. I'm still a little... fuck, skittish I guess. I know he's gonna be okay but I just wanna be like triple sure."

"That makes sense."

"Thanks." Eridan rubbed his temples for a moment. "Let me just change my clothes—I've been in this fuckin' costume for like twelve hours now. I'm ready for somethin' comfortable for a change."

Sol nodded. "See if you can dig out a pair of sweatpants for me, too. I got a regular black shirt underneath this, but I really don't want to walk around in all black right now, especially black leggings—it's just asking for trouble."

"Yeah, I'll try to scare somethin' up for you."

"Thanks." Sol went into the living room, already starting to shrug out of the bee costume.

* * *

No matter what he'd said about not going to school the next day to watch over his brother, it was _really_ tempting to sleep at Sol's place that night. He resisted the urge to ask if he could stay over, but just barely. Concern over his brother and the fact that he didn't have anything he needed for a sleepover finally won out, so he just dropped Sol off, gave him a quick kiss good night, and went back home.


	65. Act 65

Vriska fell asleep that night to sugar-coated dreams and a smile on her face. This had been one of the best birthdays she could remember since before she turned eight, and it was because Jade had been with her. As hesitant as she'd been at first to accept Jade's offer of friendship, she was glad she had—she didn't feel quite so alone anymore.

* * *

"I just want to take a nap," Rose had said. "I'll be up in an hour," Rose had said. "Let me go back to sleep," Rose had said, and seven-thirty came and went and Kanaya sat there on the Lalondes' sofa in her chainsaw-murdering costume, watching TV while next to her, Roxy sipped at a martini. Kanaya couldn't help being a little bit irritated—they were supposed to go trick-or-treating with friends and she'd been looking forward to it, but apparently that wasn't about to happen.

At eight-fifteen, Kanaya took her fake chainsaw and left, asking Roxy to tell Rose when she woke up that she'd left. Roxy agreed, slurring her words slightly, and Kanaya wondered if Roxy would even be sober enough to remember telling Rose anything later.

* * *

They'd continued on with trick-or-treating, trying not to think about how Eridan's brother could be in mortal peril right now, dying or dead already, but it was really difficult to stay in character. About an hour after Eridan and Sollux left, though, Aradia received a text message from Sollux.

_hey EDs brother ii2 okay apparently the bullet ju2t cliipped the 2iide of hii2 head or 2omethiing but hell be fiine. he al2o got pii2tol whiipped the way he tell2 the 2tory whiich ii2 kiind of funny am ii a bad per2on for laughiing at that_

Aradia grinned and breathed a sigh of relief. She was glad that Cronus was fine—she would have felt awful if he'd ended up dying for taking her sister's shift. Not that she was glad he'd gotten shot or anything, because she would have strongly preferred that not to happen at all, but at least he was going to be okay. "Hey, guys, Eridan's brother is fine. Sollux says the bullet clipped the side of his head and he also got pistol-whipped," she announced before returning Sollux's text message. _i supp0se it depends 0n why he g0t pist0l-whipped. was the pers0n being a jackass?_ Around her, her friends exchanged relieved looks and laughed in relief.

_no the way cronu2 explaiined iit he wa2 beiing an iidiiot and makiing really 2narky comment2 or 2omethiing liike he wa2 beiing deliiberately obnoxiiou2 two the guy2 who were robbiing the 2tore_

Aradia snorted with laughter. _then n0 it is perfectly acceptable t0 laugh at s0mething like that_

_he2 al2o hiigh on paiinkiiller2 iit2 kiind of funny actually. he keep2 2ayiing 2tupiid 2hiit and arguiing wiith ED_

_then that seems t0 be pretty 0n-par with h0w he acted last weekend_. She put her phone away and their small group continued trick-or-treating, the mood now much lighter than just a few minutes ago, and they didn't stop collecting candy until nearly eleven, when porch lights started to go out all throughout the neighborhood.

The six of them that remained piled back into Equius's Suburban (strictly speaking, Nepeta could have stayed behind since their place was only a block or so away, but for whatever reason, she'd decided to come along too) and Equius dropped them off one by one—Feferi, then Dave, John, and finally Aradia before he turned around and headed home himself. Although Kanaya and Rose had never shown up, Aradia still felt fairly content with how the evening had turned out.

* * *

Sollux got home after midnight, which wasn't too bad considering his first class the next day was at nine-thirty. He certainly wouldn't suffer too badly from slightly less sleep than normal, although he would have to shower after he woke up the next morning since he was too tired to do it now.

He shrugged out of his black shirt and the sweatpants he'd borrowed from Eridan (a bit short in the leg, but he had long socks on) and tossed those and the black leggings he'd worn into his laundry basket. He dug out a pair of sweatpants that fit properly and a clean T-shirt, tossed a pair of jeans onto the floor for him to wear tomorrow, and crawled into bed.

Sleep didn't come immediately, though. For a few minutes, he let his mind wander. After all, Eridan had seemed close to asking to spend the night here, and Sollux wouldn't have refused him. It actually had little to do with the prospect of fooling around with him, either—he'd gotten used to falling asleep with Eridan pressed up behind him or burrowed into his chest. His presence had a strange sort of comfort to it that soothed him. He had a feeling that Eridan really wanted to sleep next to him tonight, something he would have gladly allowed him if it hadn't been for Halloween and his stupid bee costume getting in the way.

He supposed he could have asked Eridan to wait for a few minutes while he packed his backpack for another night at Eridan's place, but by the time he got back up to his apartment, he was too tired to even face that prospect, so here he was, home alone and wishing he had Eridan sleeping soundly next to him. It would have been nice, but that was going to have to happen another time. _Like this weekend_ , he told himself. After all, it was technically Friday morning. Maybe sometime this weekend, they could even go on an actual date or something. Breakfast on Tuesday morning had probably counted as a date considering Eridan paid for the whole thing himself, but it would still be nice to actually go out and do something, like see a movie. _Runner, Runner_ was supposed to be pretty good...

With that thought, he finally drifted off.

* * *

When Eridan woke up the next morning, he smelled what was definitely real bacon frying (it was decidedly _not_ tofu bacon), and his stomach churned with nausea. He could generally handle the smell of cooking meat unless it was bacon—it just made him sick. He slunk out of his bedroom, holding his nose and wondering what in God's name had possessed Cronus to cook _actual bacon_ (he knew they had it in the freezer but usually, Cronus was good enough to make it after he'd left for the day). But it wasn't Cronus in the kitchen.

It was Meenah. She'd actually come over.

"When did you get here?" he asked, still holding his nose.

"About three—oh, Jesus fuck," she muttered, turning around and getting a good look at him. She seemed irritated. _"Cod_ damn it, you're not a fucking vegan like Feferi, are you?"

"No," he said, bristling at the condescension in her tone. "Just a vegetarian."

"Animal rights?" That was what had inspired Feferi's vegan eating, after all.

He shook his head as best he could. "Meat makes me sick."

Meenah sighed, turning back to the frying pan. "I guess I can't fault you for that, then."

"I got fake bacon in the freezer. If you're dead-set on makin' breakfast, _that's_ what I'll be eatin'."

"If you weren't Cronus's little brother, I'd _conch_ you in the fucking face."

Eridan rolled his eyes. He assumed she meant "punch," but her affinity toward fish puns leaned more toward the ridiculous and horrible. The less they made sense, the better. "So you got here at three?"

"Yeah, a _boat_ then. I mean, I was passed the fuck out when I got that text, but when I woke up and read it, I came right over."

"Did Cronus let you in? I didn't hear the doorbell or knockin' or anythin'."

"Nah, he gave me a key a few weeks ago. I _net_ myself in." She set the spatula in her hand down and reached for a small stack of plates. "He was still asleep when I got here, anyway." She dug the package of tofu bacon out of the freezer. "How many slices do you want?"

"Two or three. I'm gonna hop in the shower." Now that he knew food would be waiting for him, he'd take a shorter shower than normal. He'd taken a shower last night, too, so all the product had been scrubbed out of his hair—all he really needed was a rinse. "Um, thanks, by the way."

"No problem. My pleasure to _kelp_ out."

In a way, he was glad Meenah had shown up. If she was planning to stay all day, he wouldn't have to worry about Cronus hurting himself in a drug-induced confusion or something, plus she was making sure he ate, which was definitely an improvement over his typical habits.

He took one of the shortest showers of his life before dressing and heading back to the kitchen. When he got there, he saw that Cronus had woken up and was brewing a pot of coffee. Eridan had completely forgotten about coffee until he smelled it, and the smell alone was enough to perk him up slightly. It also covered up the bacon smell, which was a relief.

"Hey, little monster," Cronus said with a loopy grin. "Coffee?"

"Sit down before you hurt yourself. Lemme see the stitches."

Cronus stuck his tongue out at him but allowed himself to be pushed into a kitchen chair. He'd taken the bandage off from around his head sometime between last night and this morning, although what he'd done with the dressing, Eridan had no idea. "Feel okay?"

"Uh-huh."

Eridan tilted Cronus's head from one side to the other. Against his left temple, almost reaching his eye, were two thin rows of stitches that had already started to knit together a little, but it still made him a little sick to look at. On the right side, about an inch above his ear, was another row of stitches, this one a little wider. That must have been where the bullet grazed his head. _Jesus. He really got shot at last night._ "No pain, no dizziness?"

Cronus grinned at him, a crooked little smile that Eridan knew meant a wisecrack was coming. "No, Doctor Monster."

Eridan was really tempted to smack Cronus's forehead, but considering he already had three head wounds, it would be in poor form, so he restrained himself. "Meenah, how long were you plannin' on stayin' here?"

"Probably until four or five. Haven't quite decided. Maybe later."

"Alright. Just need to make sure this clown doesn't hurt himself."

"I'm not a baby," Cronus said suddenly.

"I never said you were. I called you a _clown_ , remember?"

Cronus stuck out his tongue again.

"That's what I thought. An' I called our parents last night an' let them know what happened. Then I told them I'd have Cronus call them back to reassure them he's okay, so can you make sure he actually calls them?"

Meenah nodded. "No problem. When are your parents _netting_ back from their vacation again?"

_Crap._ He'd forgotten all about that when he'd called the night before. He'd also forgotten about their anniversary two days before. He was apparently a crap excuse for a son. "Sunday, I think they said. Probably pretty late."

"Alright, _whale,_ as soon as he finishes eating, I'll have him call your parents and then I'll put him down for a nap."

Cronus stuck out his tongue again before downing two pills from the orange bottle behind him on the table. "You can't boss me around! You're not my real mom!"

"And thank _cod_ for that," Meenah muttered.

Eridan closed his eyes and tried _not_ to think about anything even remotely related to his brother and Meenah having sex.

Meenah scrambled some eggs for them and they had a fairly comfortable breakfast considering Eridan still hadn't decided if he liked her or not. Right now, the scales were tipping in favor of liking her, considering she was taking care of his brother and had made them all breakfast, but he kept going back to the condescension in her tone when she spoke of Feferi and it irritated him all over again. Still, he managed to keep his thoughts to himself.

"What did you do with the bandage, by the way?" he asked.

"It's in the trash," Cronus said, pointing toward the kitchen trash can.

"Ew. That's like a biohazard or somethin', I think. Maybe you should wrap it in a Zip-Loc bag or some plastic wrap or somethin'." He did not envy the poor assclown that trash bag potentially split open on.

Cronus twisted in his seat to look at the trash can. "But it's so far away!" he whined.

"Oh, my _cod_ ," he muttered. He finished off his eggs and put his dishes in the dishwasher. "Alright, I gotta head to school. I'll be back later. Take it easy today, Cro," he added. "No wild sex while I'm gone." As soon as he said it, he regretted it. It just conjured up more mental images he didn't need.

Meenah grinned at him. "Damn."


	66. Act 66

Rose woke up slowly, her alarm blaring in her ears. She was disoriented, but she got the vague feeling she needed to be somewhere. Her eyes fluttered open, but it seemed to be a typical Friday morning. With a groan, she rolled out of bed and silenced her alarm. After a moment, she glanced at her attire and suddenly, with a wave of guilt, realized what happened.

She was still in her Halloween costume. It was Friday morning, and she'd napped all through Halloween.

Actually, it hadn't been a nap so much as an extended fall hibernation period. She felt like she'd slept for twelve or thirteen hours. Still, as Jaspers came over and rubbed against her ankles, she felt awful. She picked him up and buried her face in his fur. "Why did you let me sleep so long, huh? I bet Kanaya's angry with me, and it's all your fault." She was kidding—she knew if Kanaya was upset, Rose had only herself to blame for messing it up. Still, Jaspers meowed at her in confusion, so Rose set him down and slunk out of her bedroom to feed him.

Roxy and her mother didn't seem to be up and about, but that was typical. Roxy didn't work until after noon on Friday and her mother was frankly nearly always home, unless she was out on a booze run (and even then, she sometimes had one of the household staff go out and pick up something they'd run low on). The fact that she was the only one stirring shouldn't have surprised her, but somehow, she'd expected that her family would like the opportunity to gloat over the one fuckup she'd made.

Jaspers barely stopped weaving in between her feet as Rose poured his food into his bowl, but the moment she set it down, he began feasting and completely ignoring her.

She sat down in one of the kitchen chairs and ran her fingers through her hair. If she concentrated and thought back to last night, she seemed to recall being woken once or twice and feeling vaguely annoyed. She must have insisted on going back to sleep since whoever it was—probably Kanaya, she realized with another pang of guilt—had left her alone after that. She wondered what time Kanaya had left last night and if she'd just gone ahead and met with Aradia and the others or if she'd been too late to join them.

She went back to her room to plug in and check her phone. Surely someone would have called her...? But, no, she had a few new emails from stores she frequented, but nothing of import, and no new calls or text messages. Not even from Kanaya, which worried her. If Kanaya was angry, Rose wouldn't blame her in the slightest. She had to think of something to do to make up for last night.

_Hey, Kanaya, what's up?_ She sent the text to her girlfriend and set the phone down. She only had two hours before she had to be at school, so she set about getting ready for a shower.

When she finally got back into her room, toweling off her hair, she was disappointed to see that Kanaya hadn't responded. She tried to reassure herself that it was no big deal, she was probably busy, but Rose had a feeling Kanaya was giving her the silent treatment.

She quickly dressed for school, scarfed down a quick breakfast of instant oatmeal that they inexplicably had (her family was not the most healthy group of eaters), and headed to school to do damage control and, hopefully, think of some way to apologize to Kanaya.

* * *

Vriska yawned and stretched, not wanting to wake up. She was sure she'd had a good dream the night before—not that she could remember it. She typically couldn't remember her dreams, anyway. Still, it left her with such a feeling of contentedness that there was no way it _couldn't_ have been good.

Finally, though, she silenced her alarm and rolled out of bed, groping for her glasses and eye patch but only putting on the patch and not the glasses. "Morning, Marquise," she mumbled, not really looking into her tarantula's tank. She went to the bathroom to pee and came back feeling much more awake than she had a few minutes before, sliding her glasses onto her face.

That was when she got a good look into Marquise Mindfang's tank and screamed.

Devastation, horror, and fury all battled for dominance in her mind, but she fell to her knees and let out a sob. The Marquise was dead, but it was obviously not a natural death—not if the wooden skewers through her head, thorax, and abdomen were any indication. It was grotesque, seeing her beloved pet frozen in place, her eight legs limp and dangling an inch or two above the bottom of the tank, some dark fluid that might have been the tarantula's blood or blood equivalent oozing down the skewers. She barely registered the piece of foam the skewers were embedded in on the bottom, keeping The Marquise upright in a ghastly caricature of her natural pose—all she knew was that her pet had been murdered, and she had a pretty good fucking idea who'd done it, too.

She tried to summon rage to the surface, but she was too distraught. She wanted desperately to reach out and cradle The Marquise, but it wouldn't do any good. She was gone—sometime last night, someone had slipped into her room, killed her tarantula, and left her on such garish display. There was nothing she could do but accept her pet's death, and possibly seek her revenge.

"I hate you," she breathed to the invisible, lurking presence of her sister in the room. Aranea had killed The Marquise—there was no doubt in Vriska's mind. "I hate you so much."

Aranea had always told her that you could only trust your family—any friends you thought you had were either using you or pawns for you to use. But she knew Jade would never, ever hurt a hair on The Marquise's abdomen, and Aranea had killed the tarantula. Aranea had shown in one singular, horrifying spectacle, who could be trusted and who couldn't. Aranea was wrong about everyone and everything—it was your friends, people who _chose_ to be with you despite everything, who would always be there for you. Your family was obligated to care, but the water of the womb only went so far. Aranea had used their familial bond to manipulate her, and Vriska couldn't believe how long it had taken her to see that.

Last night—and this terrible discovery this morning—had just proven that. And maybe she couldn't bring back The Marquise, but she could hit Aranea right where it hurt.

Vriska pulled herself to her feet and fumbled for her phone. She wanted photographic evidence of this in case it needed to be used later against Aranea. Once she convinced herself she'd thoroughly documented the grisly scene, she gingerly reached into Marquise Mindfang's tank to gently pry her free of the skewers and scoop her out. "I'm so sorry she did this to you, baby," she murmured, cradling her tarantula's lifeless body. She partly blamed herself—she was a notoriously sound sleeper. A freight train running through her room probably wouldn't wake her up once she hit REM. "I wish I could have saved you. You didn't deserve what she did to you. But I promise on your grave and the graves of the two Marquises who came before you that I will make her pay." She ran a forefinger down The Marquise's body, shuddering as her fingertip brushed past the holes the skewers had made. "I hate her so much. I hate her."

She stuffed her feet into her closest pair of sneakers. Still clad in her pajamas, she went to the garage to locate her mother's gardening tools. There was a hand shovel and a tiny rake hanging up next to the watering can and her mother's gloves, so she took those, still holding The Marquise as carefully as possible, and went to the backyard to dig a new grave beneath the same tree the other two Marquises were buried under. It was a painstaking process and the knees of her pajama bottoms were covered in dirt by the time she finished, but she finally deposited the third Marquise Spinneret Mindfang into her grave and covered her up.

She sniffled and set the hand shovel aside. "I'm sorry, girls," she whispered to the deceased tarantulas. "She joined you far too soon. It wasn't her time. But..." She reached out and pressed her palm to the spot where she knew the first Marquise Mindfang was buried. She had exhumed the first tarantula's remains the day after she buried them and saved them in a Tupperware container to bring her to their new house and re-bury her there. (Her mother had then thrown away the container.) Vriska had memorized the exact locations of all of these graves long ago. But now that she thought on it, she wasn't convinced that the first Marquise's death had been natural, either. After all, Vriska had discovered The Marquise's death after Aranea had locked herself in their room for nearly two hours in a rage. It _had_ been about the right age for a tarantula, but Vriska had taken really good care of her and she'd never shown signs of being sick or close to death. And the second Marquise... well, Vriska had thought later that the tarantula's tank smelled suspiciously like bleach, and that was right around the time Vriska had rekindled her romance with Tavros Nitram, telling Aranea that she thought she was in love with him (he was so much nicer than Eridan Ampora, after all).

And then last night, she had introduced Jade to her family. It wouldn't surprise her at all, now that she thought on it, to discover that Aranea was behind every single death of her tarantulas.

But this had been different. The first two had been meant to look like natural deaths. The third one had obviously been to send a message, and that message was, _If you stay friends with Jade, this is how she'll end up._ Vriska highly doubted Aranea would resort to murder, but it was a metaphor. Aranea would emotionally destroy Jade.

Vriska couldn't let that happen. Aranea had taught her to be emotionally manipulative, but it was time for the protégè to turn that power back on the master. She already had an idea of how to get Aranea out of her hair for a good, long while.

Now that she had a plan in mind, she took a deep breath, stood up, brushed off the knees of her pajama pants, and returned her mother's gardening tools to their appropriate locations. She had to hurry to school to intercept Jade before her first class—there wasn't a whole lot of time.

If she'd expected anyone in the house to come running at her scream, she would have been sorely mistaken. Both her mother and her sister had already left for the day, though, and she knew it. She also knew that she should have probably called her mother to rat Aranea out right away, but it was imperative to her plan that her mother not know what was going on. It would be better to tell her later, but for now, Vriska had to pretend that everything was normal and fine.

She brushed out the tangles in her hair, casting a sad glance into the now-empty tarantula tank and wondering if her sister really had killed all of her pets. She tried not to think about it for long, though—she had to keep her mind occupied, or else she'd break down. She had to keep going, keep pushing on. Revenge would be the only thing to ease the aching in her chest.

The revelation of the true nature of Aranea's betrayal made her feel terrible, though. All this time, she'd been so convinced that Aranea was right, that people who were not her family were only meant to be used, but now she saw that she was wrong. She thought back to the people she'd hurt—Eridan, Tavros, John, Kanaya—and wondered how deep those scars ran. She wondered about the extent of the damage she'd done to them.

Maybe, one day, she'd find them all and apologize. But for now, she had to find Jade and warn her about the impending Serket storm.


	67. Act 67

Sollux dragged himself slowly but surely out of unconsciousness. He stretched out, his back popping comfortably, and tried to remember what day it was. Friday, right? Halloween the night before?

The bee costume on the floor certainly lent credibility to his assumption. Had it really only been hours since Cronus had gotten shot?

That thought sent a shudder of horror through him. He barely knew the guy, but Cronus was his boyfriend's brother. He couldn't even imagine how Eridan would have reacted if Cronus had been seriously hurt. Eridan breaking down last night had freaked him out a little, but that had been an expression of relief. What would despair have been?

He threw off his covers, climbed out of bed, and quickly yanked the sheets back into place. He'd never been one for making his bed before, but Eridan was and he supposed it had rubbed off on him.

He wondered about what had happened last night after they left. How much longer had they all stayed out? He did hope they'd had fun, but he found it difficult to imagine they had a lot. After Damara had left, the whole evening had kind of been ruined, so after finding out it was Cronus who had gotten shot, he had to think no one else had really felt like staying out.

_hey ii2 your brother okay_

He put his phone away and went to take a shower since he hadn't gotten the chance the day before.

Eridan hadn't answered by the time he got out, so Sollux figured he had decided to stay home for the day and probably not answer his phone. He eyeballed his bee costume before sighing and hanging it up in the back of his closet. Three hundred and sixty-four days would be enough time for him to lose it again, he was sure. Maybe this time it would stay lost. Aradia was right—he couldn't be a bee again. It was time to find something else.

He double-checked that he had everything he needed for school, briefly considered some of the leftovers in his fridge for breakfast but ultimately deciding against it, and headed out the door. He sincerely hoped this would be a relatively drama-free day.

* * *

Rose arrived at school and went straight for the cafeteria building to locate Kanaya. She expected her girlfriend would be in there somewhere, presumably talking to Aradia, but Kanaya still hadn't replied to Rose's text message, so she couldn't know for sure. She reminded herself that yes, she _had_ fucked up, but it had been relatively minor, right? It wasn't like she'd dropped a baby or called her a bitch (mostly because she could come up with far more creative insults than _bitch_ ) or something like that, but she sensed that Kanaya would still be upset with her.

Considering the silent treatment Kanaya was giving her, she was probably _really_ upset.

Just as she thought, there was Kanaya at a table with Aradia who, for the first time in the past week or so, sat apart from Equius and Nepeta. Rose couldn't see Kanaya's face since she had her back to the door, but Aradia noticed her and glanced over briefly before returning her attention right back to Kanaya.

_Shit._ That one flicker of a look on Aradia's face spelled Rose's doom and she knew it. Kanaya was definitely not in a forgiving sort of mood this morning. _I'll come back later_ , Rose told herself, and quickly retreated to the campus coffee shop. If Roxy wasn't at home, she would definitely be at work.

"Hi, Rose!" Roxy said happily, waving at her sister as she walked in. She was most likely tipsy right now, which Rose had expected but still found frustrating. Sometimes, she wished her sister could be at least somewhat normal and mostly sober.

"Hey," she said. She set her backpack down at the first unoccupied table she saw and went to the counter. "The usual."

"Everything okay?" Roxy asked.

Rose blinked. "Yeah, everything's... okay, no, but... How could you tell?"

"You seem down. Plus your g-friend left in a huff last night so I figured you two had a fight or something." Roxy shrugged as she scribbled down Rose's order on a venti cup and slid it to Jane.

"When did she leave?"

"Like eight-fifteen or something. Yeah, she seemed pretty upset. What happened?"

Rose groaned, letting her head fall to the counter with a dull _thunk_. "We were supposed to go trick-or-treating with some friends, but I wanted to take a nap before we left and I guess I overslept or something... Like I think she tried to wake me up around six but I insisted on being left alone, so... Here I am, in the proverbial doghouse."

Roxy patted her head. "I'm sure everything will be fine. Did you talk to her this morning?"

Rose grimaced, finally looking back up. "I sent her a text message that she didn't answer and I saw her in the cafeteria but she was talking to one of her friends and Aradia looked like they were talking shit. I'm presuming I was the topic of discussion so I don't think Kanaya is in a very understanding state of mind."

"Aw, I'm sorry. Give her some time to cool off. She's probably disappointed, but she'll get over it."

"I just don't get it. I mean, I'm supposed to be able to understand girls, right? I _am_ a girl. Shouldn't this be easy?"

Behind the glass half-wall, Jane snorted with laughter. "Relationships aren't easy—come on."

"Hey," Roxy said soothingly. "Newsflash, little sister—not all girls are the same. Just because _you'd_ forgive her in a heartbeat over this doesn't mean she would."

Rose sighed. "I guess you're right. I just... I don't know, I hoped that she would be a little more forgiving."

Roxy resumed patting her head. "Just give her some time. And if she doesn't come around, well, that's going to be up to you. You have to decide if waiting for her to forgive you is worth it. How much do you like her?"

"A lot," Rose admitted.

"So you'd be willing to put up with a lot?"

"Of course."

"And just because she's mad at you doesn't mean she doesn't like you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Order up," Jane said. She slid Rose's drink across the counter.

"Five-fifteen, dearie," Roxy said.

Rose handed over a ten, pocketed the change, and grabbed her drink, turning around. That was when she caught sight of an exhausted-looking Eridan Ampora sitting in the corner and nursing a venti-sized something. _What the Hell is this?_ It looked like he'd had a rough night himself. She wondered whether or not he'd be open to her joining him before deciding against it. All she really felt like doing was hiding and not talking to anyone right now.

* * *

Eridan stared at his computer screen without really seeing it. He sought the motivation to finish this homework, but it wasn't coming to him.

He could have gone to the cafeteria and hung out with Fef or Sol, but he didn't really feel like being around anyone right now. He felt too emotionally raw to hang out with anyone—even Rose, he noticed, who looked a little upset as she sat down at an otherwise-empty table. Actually, now that he thought about it, he wondered where she'd been the night before. He thought he'd heard that she and Kanaya were supposed to join their merry band of wandering sugar-seekers, but they'd never shown up. Maybe they'd made other plans.

But Rose didn't look happy. Maybe something bad had happened the night before. Maybe that was why she and Kanaya had never arrived.

He took a swig of his coffee and peered at her, interested in spite of himself. She'd just gotten finished talking to Roxy and Jane—he'd seen them talking—so whatever it was probably wasn't _too_ bad. But Kanaya was nowhere to be seen and she and Rose had been nearly inseparable since he'd met them.

_Shit._ Maybe they'd broken up. Taking in the dejected way she was drinking her coffee and the sympathetic looks Roxy was shooting her—they could be related, he realized, they looked so similar—that was probably it. He wondered what happened with them and if maybe he should say something to her.

But, no, that was probably a mistake. If she wanted him to talk to her, she would have said something. So he sat there and tried not to fret over basically everything.

That was what last night had done to him—now he couldn't stop worrying. Cronus getting shot had come out of nowhere, and now he was convinced he was going to get blindsided by something like that again. What if he got into an accident tonight? What if his parents' plane went down? What if Fef drowned? (He knew that one was next to impossible since she'd been swimming for twenty years now.) What if Sol got electrocuted or hit by a bus or died in a freak elevator accident?

He needed to stop. He needed to find something else to focus on—he was worrying way too much. Fortunately, it was almost time for his class, so he finished off his coffee, packed up his bag, and headed out.

* * *

"You don't look so happy," Aradia said.

"If you'd had the evening I did, you wouldn't be smiling, either," Kanaya grumbled.

Aradia raised an eyebrow. "I'm not so sure about that. There was a pretty eventful night last night as it was."

"What happened to _you_?"

"You first."

They exchanged looks for a moment before Kanaya let out a sigh. "Alright. Well, you remember that Rose and I were supposed to accompany your group for the festivities last night, correct?"

"Of course."

"And that we didn't."

"Mmhmm. I wondered about that."

"Rose fell asleep."

"And?"

"And... well, that was it. That was the reason we weren't able to join you. She decided to take a nap and when I went to wake her up, she was unreceptive to the idea. So I left her house and went home."

"I'm sorry," Aradia said softly. She ran her fingers through Kanaya's hair for a moment.

"And last night was also Vriska's birthday, so I ended up at home thinking about that all night. We were together on her birthday last year, so..." Kanaya sighed. "I was hoping this year would have better memories, but apparently that wasn't to be."

"Well, she didn't know what happened last year, did she? Rose, I mean," Aradia added. "She didn't realize how important last night was supposed to be for you."

"Should I have to tell her something like that? Shouldn't she just _want_ to make something like Halloween special?"

Aradia almost laughed, but she restrained herself. "It's been a trying few weeks for all of us. I'm not surprised she wanted to take a nap. Besides, how easily woken are _you_ when you've slept long enough?"

"Not very," Kanaya admitted grudgingly.

"Exactly. If you don't tell her it's important, how is she supposed to know? I know she might seem like a mind-reader sometimes, but she's not."

Kanaya rested her forehead against the table and let out another sigh. "But I thought she _wanted_ to spend time with me."

"Oh, dear, just because she fell asleep doesn't mean she didn't want to spend time with you."

"You're not helping."

"I won't be helping by lying to you, either. I'm not going to make you more mad at her for something that's not her fault. Nor will I make you feel bad about something that's not _your_ fault, either," Aradia added, running her fingers through Kanaya's hair again. "It was just miscommunication, right? Nothing wrong with that. And I understand you're disappointed in her and you have every right to be, but... Well, have you tried to talk to her?"

"She sent me a text message this morning."

"And?"

"And I didn't answer."

"Oh, dear. What do you want from her? It's not like you can go back in time and fix things."

"An apology."

"Then you need to give her a chance to apologize, okay?"

"Okay." Kanaya sighed, keeping her head down.

Aradia saw movement out of the corner of her eye and focused right on it. There was Rose standing there, looking nervous, clutching the strap of her backpack. She tried to beam a mental message to Rose— _Not now, it's not a good time—_ and Rose seemed to get it because she turned around and left the way she came in.

"So what happened with you all last night? Something as bad as Rose and me?"

"Um. Not exactly."

"What was it?"

"Eridan's brother got shot."

Kanaya immediately straightened up. " _What?_ "

"Yeah. Covering for a shift that should have been Damara's. Cronus is okay and everything, we found out—I guess the bullet just scraped the side of his head or something—but we were all really worried about him for awhile. Eridan and Sollux went to the hospital to see him. From what Sollux tells me, he's home now."

"Wow. If something happened to Porrim..."

"I know. And it could have— _should have—_ been Damara. That's the scariest thing to me. And Eridan nearly lost his brother. Everything is fine and all, which is great, but still."

Kanaya nodded solemnly. "I suppose it kind of puts everything into perspective, doesn't it?"

"It does. So maybe you should talk to Rose and get this taken care of. I know she didn't mean to upset you, Kan, so if you give her a chance, I'm sure she'll apologize. She probably feels horrible."

Kanaya nodded again, resting her elbows on the table. "I suppose you're right. I wouldn't want to do to her what Vriska did to me, after all."

"Exactly." Aradia threw her arm around Kanaya and gave her a side-hug, placing a quick kiss on the side of her head. "Everything will be alright. Just give it a chance."


	68. Act 68

_J8DE WHERE 8RE YOU? WE NEED TO T8LK NOW!_

Vriska was beyond caring about missing her first class. This was at least eight million times as important as anything she could possibly learn on a Friday, anyway. She suspected Jade might be in the cafeteria but she knew that Kanaya and Eridan and even Tavros tended to hang out there and she really didn't feel like seeing any of them right now—confronting her own mistakes was something she couldn't bear, not like this—so she hoped Jade would be somewhere else.

Fortunately for her, she was. _I'm at the pool right now. What's up? What happened?_

_I c8n't expl8n here. I need to tell you in person. It's really b8d._

_Okay, no problem. I'll be right here waiting unless you want to go somewhere else._

_No it's fine, w8 there. I'm 8lready on my w8y to the pool. Just st8y there._ She wasn't sure she could wait any longer than she already had, and deciding on a different place would take too much time. No, she just needed to sprint to the pool as fast as she could, ignoring the stares and shouts of, " _Run, Forrest!_ " that anyone running across campus always elicited. Normally, she would stop and punch out (at least verbally) whoever dared call after her like that (they were only funny the first time), but she was too preoccupied to care today. Those people were lucky. Next time, they might not be so fortunate.

Once she drew up to the locker rooms, she slowed to a walk and texted Jade again. _Where by the pool?_

_Like right next to the pool. Go through the locker rooms. I'm sitting up in the bleachers._

_What are you doing up there, anyw8?_ Vriska was calming down slightly but part of her still wanted to scream.

_Well, I was going to swim for a little while with another friend of mine, but this sounds important, so I can w8._

Vriska smiled at both Jade's use of her typing quirk and her being willing to forgo her swimming just to talk to Vriska. It reassured her that Aranea was wrong, and Jade truly wouldn't intentionally hurt her. Not like Aranea had done so many times—Aranea was twisted.

She headed through the locker room as quickly as she could, taking care to avoid meeting anyone's eyes or slip on the water that had been tracked in. Her sneakers threatened to lose traction on the slick tiles, but she made it through without incident (mostly—she skidded once and grabbed at a fuchsia towel hanging from a hook to steady herself) and emerged into the main pool area and open air again. She looked around until she located Jade, but when Vriska saw who she was sitting with, her heart sank.

There was Feferi Peixes. When Vriska had known her in high school, she had been Eridan's best friend. It wouldn't surprise her to find out they were still close and, moreover, that Feferi knew what had happened between Vriska and Eridan. Feferi wouldn't be friendly to her, not with the devastation Vriska had undoubtedly wreaked on Eridan's life.

Still, Vriska squared her shoulders and walked toward them. Feferi might be Jade's friend, but _she_ was Jade's friend, too, and she wasn't going to go away just because Feferi hated her.

Jade saw her before Feferi did, probably because she was looking for her. "Hey, Vriska!" she called, half-standing and waving wildly. "Up here!"

Feferi's head whipped in Vriska's direction and the look she shot her could have only been described as hostile. It was gone in a moment, though, as Feferi turned back to Jade and whispered something Vriska couldn't quite here. Jade's face fell for a second and Feferi stood up, grabbed a fuchsia backpack at her feet ( _Oh, crap, I hope that wasn't her towel_ ), and stalked down the bleachers to the ground, giving Vriska another murderous glare and hissing, "Bitch," as she passed.

Vriska very nearly punched her, but that would in no way endear her to Jade—besides, she had no idea what Feferi had said to her, so she might make herself look worse. So for once, she held her tongue and climbed up the bleachers, pretending Feferi hadn't said anything to her.

Jade wasn't smiling anymore, not like she was when she first saw Vriska. She tried to tell herself it didn't bother her, but that was a lie—Jade was supposed to be her friend. "What did Feferi say about me?" she asked quietly.

"She told me how you hurt people," Jade answered, just as quietly and not meeting her eyes. "Actually, she told me awhile ago—about Eridan and Kanaya and Tavros and John—and John is one of _my_ friends, too. She just never told me your name. Rose told me, too... She told me you were evil, although she never specified how. I'm beginning to get the idea, though. But, yeah, Feferi just told me it was _you_ who did all of those mean things to my friends."

It sounded so simple when Jade said it like that, but that childlike simplicity made it even worse to hear. Despair twisted like a knife in Vriska's ribs and she felt like crying—in a few words, her only friend had been turned against her just as she'd started to realize how wrong she'd been. Right now, what she needed more than ever was Jade's support, and Jade was now starting to pull away.

_Aranea can't be right. This can't be what she meant. Please don't let her be right._ If Aranea was right and friends couldn't be trusted, and the only people who _could_ be trusted killed her pets while she slept, she didn't know what she could do. There would be nothing for her.

Everything was starting to fall apart, faster and faster. Her eye burned and she wiped at it, hoping Jade didn't see the tears threatening to spill over.

Would Jade even care anymore? Feferi and Rose might have done so much damage to her reputation in Jade's eyes that maybe she would think Vriska deserved whatever she got. That prospect was almost too much to contemplate. What could she even do anymore?

"I... I know I was a bitch. They're right about who I _used_ to be, but that's not who I am anymore. I'm trying to change, I really am. And that's actually why I wanted to talk to you about, though."

"I don't get you. I thought I did, but I don't. I thought Rose was wrong or something, like you were just misunderstood or something, and I gave you a chance and I thought you were a good person and she was wrong. But you really are just an evil, two-faced person, aren't you?"

"I'm _not_!" Vriska protested, even though deep down, she suspected Jade was right. "Do you know how many times my sister told me I can't rely on anyone but my family? Do you know how convinced I was for ten years that she was right? You have no idea how much trust I put in you just to even consider you a friend and not someone who would hurt _me_ if I didn't hurt you first. You have no idea what I've been through—only what other people have said about me—and now you're passing judgment on me! Like _you've_ never made mistakes before? You're my only friend, Jade, and now you won't even listen to me."

Jade twisted her fingers together in her lap, finally looking up at Vriska. There was a hint of anger on her face, along with something else Vriska didn't quite recognize. It wasn't until Jade started speaking again that Vriska realized it was guilt. "I guess you're right. But how can you possibly excuse toying with people's emotions like you did?"

"It was the only thing I ever knew. When I was younger, I had friends, and every time we fought, Aranea would tell me that they hated me... and I believed her. So I cut them off because I thought they didn't actually like me, that they were just using me. Or I was jealous and bitter so I shut them out. I lost a lot of close friends that way." She still despaired to think about losing Nepeta and lashing out at Tavros when she was eight, and the way she'd treated Terezi back in middle school. It had been all her fault—she thought she had just been unlucky, that the universe was transpiring against her, but it really had been all her fault. She couldn't even blame Aranea for how she'd treated Nepeta—that was all on her. "But you met Aranea last night. You know what she's like."

Jade nodded haltingly.

"She doesn't like you."

"You think?"

"I know." Vriska pulled out her phone and flipped through her gallery until she found the one picture she'd taken of the Marquise that showed the full horror. "Look at what she did."

Jade let out a squeak and covered her mouth with her hands, staring aghast at the picture. After a few unblinking moments, she looked back at Vriska. "She did that?"

Vriska nodded sadly, putting away her phone. "It was either her or my mom and I really don't think my mom would do that to me. I already know Aranea doesn't like it when I have friends, and I thought she had a reason for it, but now... Jade, she's been controlling me my whole life, and I think she killed my other two tarantulas, too. I can't prove anything since it's hard to do autopsies on ten-year-old tarantula remains, but... the first Marquise died the day my parents' divorce was finalized and our mom told us we were moving, and Aranea blamed _me_ for it and locked herself in our room. Two hours later, when she finally came out, it was only to tell me that my tarantula was dead. The second one died a couple of days after I started dating Tavros. I really liked him," she added quietly. "I'll admit that I did kind of like toying with Eridan. Having that kind of power over someone's emotions is an ego boost, plus he was a dick anyway, so I felt like he had it coming." She sighed. "And Aranea did the same number on Eridan's older brother, so I figured I was doing the right thing by messing with his younger brother. I liked the symmetry of it. But Tavros... I really liked him. I think I was in love with him, too. I just... I didn't know what to do. I was afraid of what that meant for me. Suddenly, I didn't have control anymore since I just wanted to be with him, so I... I hurt him when I started dating Kanaya, except I sort of fell in love with _her,_ too—like I relied so much on both of them that I didn't like how they could hurt me now, so I found John through our mutual love of shitty Nicolas Cage movies, and... well, I guess you know the rest. I bounced around from one to another to another to keep myself from getting too attached to any of them. And in the process, I hurt all of them. And now, I guess they all moved on, huh?"

Jade nodded slowly. "They do seem to be doing better."

"And that's great. I don't know how I'm supposed to have a normal relationship, though. I mean, I haven't had a real friend in years, and none of my romantic relationships could ever remotely be construed as healthy."

"I get what you're saying, but what are you going to do about Aranea?"

Vriska rubbed her knuckle across her eye again, willing herself not to start crying. "I have a plan, but the thing is, I think Aranea means to hurt you somehow."

"I got that impression. I thought she might have dropped a house on me last night if she could have."

Vriska laughed, but it came out as more of a half-chuckle, half-sob, and she wiped at her eye more vigorously, trying to keep her damning tears from spilling over. "Yeah, I thought something like that, too. So... I don't know what she intends to do. She wasn't home when I woke up this morning, but I know this is the first time she's outright, brazenly murdered one of my pets so I know she's not fucking around."

"What did your mom say?"

"She doesn't know. Not yet. I'll let her know later. That's part of my plan, actually. I just need to get more dirt on her."

"What are you going to do?"

"She's basically been psychologically torturing me for ten years and let me think the only way to relate to people is by _more_ psychological fuckery. She killed at least one of my pets. She's twisted and no matter how evil you think _I_ am, she's eight thousand times worse. I'm gonna try to get her committed. She's psychopathic—she needs professional help."

"How are you gonna do that?"

Vriska half-smiled. "She made me a good actor, so I'm going to act like her sick mind games with me are working."

"You think you can pull it off?"

"Yeah, I think I can."

Jade finally smiled. "Good." After a moment, she looked away. "I don't think you're evil," she added. "Not anymore. You were right. I... I didn't know everything. And I think if the others knew you, really knew you, they wouldn't hate me."

Vriska bit her lip. "Maybe. One step at a time, though. I don't want to talk to any of them yet. I already feel bad enough about what I did to them. I mean, I'm gonna apologize to them eventually, just... not right now."

"Alright. I understand." She reached for Vriska's hand and squeezed. "Everything will be okay."

"Even you?"

Jade grinned. "What could Aranea _possibly_ do to me?"


	69. Act 69

Eridan's hands shook so badly he could barely type and doing anything in Photoshop was completely out. He was beginning to regret drinking so much coffee—he must have had nearly a gallon by now, and all the caffeine was coursing through his veins. He probably would have bled coffee if he'd been cut, and considering how badly he had to pee, he'd probably piss coffee, too. It was time to stop, so after a not-so-quick trip to the bathroom and once he gathered up his belongings, he headed back to the cafeteria building. At least there, the temptation to buy yet another cup of coffee wouldn't be present—the cafeteria had really bad coffee.

To his surprise, about five minutes after he sat down, Fef appeared, looking angrier than he'd ever seen before. It actually kind of scared him a little because she was usually so calm.

"That absolute _bitch_!" she raged, slamming her backpack on the table.

Eridan resisted the urge to cower under the table. She was _really_ angry—she hadn't made a pun when _beach_ would have been her usual go-to insult. "Um... so I take it not everything is okay?" he asked meekly, half-hiding behind his computer.

"That spider-bitch is stealing my friends right out from under me!"

Eridan felt his eyes widen. "V-Vris? W-what do you mean?"

"I _mean_ , you remember my friend Jade from the swim team?"

"I never met her."

Fef groaned. "Ugh, whatever! Anyway, Vriska somehow has Jade convinced she's just a misunderstood little _angel_ or something, and now they're super-close or some crap like that. Fuck, I _told_ Jade what she did to you and the others, but apparently, she doesn't care!"

"Crap," Eridan muttered. "Think Vris is gonna try to hurt her?"

"I don't know—maybe! I just can't believe Jade let herself get sucked in by her! It looks like she still has her talent for emotional manipulation firmly intact."

Eridan bit his lip. "Well, as selfish as it sounds, as long as she's not buggin' me, I don't really care what she does."

Fef ran her nails through her hair, staring intently at the tabletop as if it could yield all the answers she sought. "There has to be some _fin_ I can do," she murmured.

"Like?"

" _Glub_ with Jade. Figure out what Vriska told her. Figure out how to break this damn spell she has over her. I don't want Jade to get hurt like you or Kanaya or anyone else. She needs to stop."

"Sounds like a good idea. Vris isn't dumb enough to pull the same crap on you."

"I almost wish she _was_."

Part of him did hope that Vriska wasn't about to destroy another life, but most of him was preoccupied with his sandwich and returning the text that had just arrived from Sol— _hey ii2 your brother okay_

Eridan was pretty sure he'd sent it a long time ago and for some reason, his phone had just received it. It was probably time to think about upgrading—he'd had it for awhile. _yeah i left him wwith meenah so shell probably take real good care of him_

Meanwhile, Fef had unzipped her backpack and fished out a couple of books marked as Sociology textbooks. He could have probably worked on his Calculus homework with all the free time he'd given himself, but the prospect of facing homework was frustrating and exhausting.

_ew_ came Sol's response. Eridan was just trying to think up an answer—Sol hadn't given him much to work with—when another message came in. _so iif youre up for iit you want two come over and watch a moviie at my place twoniight ii ju2t dont really have the money for a moviie theater or 2omethiing_

Eridan grinned. _depends on wwhat movvie i guess_

_2omethiing 2uiitably horriifyiing like texa2 chaiin2aw ma22acre part 2_

_oh swweet baby jegus no_

_come on iit2 more funny than 2cary that one anyway .liike the oriigiinal in 1974 or whatever wa2 actually pretty fuckiing 2cary but 2ub2equent iin2tallment2 got darkly funny plu2 biill mo2eley ha2 2ome great liine2_

_wwhy does that name sound familiar_

_probably becau2e he2 a horror moviie iicon at lea2t ii thiink 2o anyway_

_wwhat else has he been in. i might a seen it_

_well you probably havent 2een texa2 chaiin2aw ma22acre 3d but he wa2 iin that two a2 a diifferent member of the 2awyer famiily probably becau2e the guy who played drayton 2awyer iin the fiir2t place diied and mo2eley2 oriigiinal character chop top wa2 kiilled iin tcm2. he wa2 al2o iin hou2e of 1000 corp2e2 and the 2equel the deviil2 reject2 whiich were fuckiing hiilariiou2 but iim gue22iing you never 2aw tho2e eiither and he wa2 iin repo! the genetiic opera whiich ii2 a rock opera and that actually kiind of 2eem2 liike the iindiie hiip2ter thiing youd love 2o_

_jegus fuck thats right i saww him in repo he wwas that luigi largo guy wwasnt he_

_yeah that2 the one anyway he2 fuckiing hy2teriical iin ju2t about everythiing iive 2een hiim iin_

Eridan was still a little skittish on the idea of seeing anything with the phrase "chainsaw massacre" in the title but he figured if it got too intense for him, he could always close his eyes and cuddle up to Sol. That wouldn't be so bad.

And he could cover his ears if the screams got to be too much.

_alright wwell im a big baby wwhen it comes to horror movvies so if you hear wwhimpering dont be alarmed_

_thank2 for the warniing my la2t cla22 end2 at two twoday 2o whenever youre ready two go ju2t let me know_

_yeah sure_

And with that, Eridan had plans for the night. He figured Cronus and Meenah would find some way to entertain themselves while he was away, so he didn't feel too bad about potentially not coming home tonight. Besides, Cronus _had_ complained about the noise level.

* * *

They couldn't avoid this conversation forever. It was lunch time, and Rose was frantic. She knew that Kanaya was mad at her and she completely understood why, but she deserved a chance to apologize, right? She didn't know what she could do to make it up to her, but she knew that she wanted to do something.

Roxy, in all her drunken wisdom, and been right. Rose had had to decide for herself what she was willing to handle in this relationship, and she'd decided that she was willing to handle quite a bit. She liked Kanaya a lot more than she'd originally thought, and not all of it was rational. She enjoyed Kanaya's company and her conversation and her insight, but she also liked stupid things like the way she licked her lips as she thought and twisted her hair through her fingers and bounced her foot when she was bored and laughed when she thought Rose had said something deliberately naïve. The thought that there might not be anything more between them was potentially devastating—she'd gotten ridiculously attached to Kanaya ridiculously quickly, and now all she could do was pray Kanaya could forgive her.

Kanaya either hadn't left the cafeteria at all or she'd gone back to the same table because there she was, sitting in exactly the same place Rose had seen her last. Rose didn't know if that relieved or worried her—but this time, at least, Aradia was nowhere to be seen and Kanaya was alone with her elbows on the table and her back still to Rose's door. She swallowed nervously and crossed the room, hoping Kanaya would at least be willing to listen.

"Can I sit?" she asked softly, coming around to the side so she could look at Kanaya.

The other girl looked up at her from her phone, annoyance clear on her face, but Rose stood her ground. "Fine," Kanaya said finally, and looked back down at the screen of her phone.

So Rose sat. "Look, I know you're upset with me, and you have every right to be." Kanaya gave a snort of what could have been agreement but didn't look at her. "But I want to apologize. It wasn't a deliberate slight against you—I just had a very long day yesterday and I didn't realize how tired I was. I wouldn't have done something like that on purpose," she added as she realized Kanaya had paused whatever she was watching. Although she still didn't look away from her phone, she did appear to be listening. "So I'm sorry. I don't know how to make it up to you, but I want to, any way I can."

Kanaya finally looked at her, and though Rose couldn't get a read on her expression, it was a relief just to be making eye contact with her girlfriend again. After a moment, Kanaya sighed. "I don't quite know why I'm so upset, Rose. I just am."

"And that's fine."

"I suppose that last night was intended to be a lot of fun with our friends, and spending a vast majority of it in front of the television in your living room was a big letdown."

"I'm sorry," Rose said again.

"I know." Kanaya let out another sigh. "And I spoke with Aradia this morning and we might not have actually had as much fun as we planned anyway—it turns out that Eridan's brother Cronus was shot last night, which rather put a damper on the evening."

_That_ explained the look on Eridan's face earlier. Rose suddenly wished she _had_ approached him, if only to offer whatever comfort she could. "Is he... dead?" she asked quietly, as though speaking the word aloud would make it so.

Kanaya shook her head. "The bullet apparently grazed the side of his head. He's home already, but he had covered for Aradia's sister, meaning it could have been her who was shot."

"Wait, _what_ happened? When was this?"

"Last night, while Cronus was working. It was a robbery gone bad or something, and apparently the culprits didn't get away with much. I imagine the police are scrambling to find them, but they wore masks, so they could be anyone.

"But anyway. Everyone is alive, although last night wasn't as much fun as it should have been. They were all very worried about Cronus."

Rose nodded slowly. It seemed crazy to think that the guy who'd supplied them with alcohol just the week before had almost died last night. She wondered what they'd all be doing right now if the worst had actually happened. "I don't blame them."

"Of course, I just found out about this all this morning. But still. It would have been nice to be there, to know what had happened as it happened."

"I'm so sorry. I know you were looking forward to it. I... well, I wish you had gone without me."

"Why?"

"So you wouldn't have missed it. I mean, it's nice that you wanted me to come with you, but you didn't have to."

"You were supposed to be my ride there, and by the time I realized you weren't waking up, I didn't feel right calling Equius for a ride."

"Oh." _Shit._ Somehow, she felt even worse than she did before the conversation started.

"But I suppose it's in the past now. If you're really serious about making it up to me, you won't miss Thanksgiving with my family," Kanaya said with a small smile.

And just like that, the guilt she felt eased and a smile crossed her face, too. "Really? You want me to meet your family?"

"Well, it's just my parents and my sister, most likely, unless my crazy aunt Dolores shows up, but I would like you to meet them. Porrim especially has been anxious to meet _you_. Porrim is my sister," she added.

"So you talk about me to your family, huh?"

"Mostly to Porrim, although I've mentioned you to my parents once or twice. And can you blame me?" Kanaya reached out and brushed a few stray strands of hair behind Rose's ear. "I just... don't want this to turn into another Vriska situation."

Rose caught her hand. "I have absolutely no intention of doing to you what Vriska did. Please believe that."

Kanaya nodded. "I do. I believe you."


	70. Act 70

Art History was stupidly boring for Sollux, but he'd taken it because he needed another liberal arts class. Apparently Creative Writing wasn't enough for his Bachelor's requirements so he was stuck in a class he could barely tolerate.

Fortunately, the class was in a lecture hall as opposed to the regular classrooms and he sat right in the back, so he killed time and kept sane by turning the volume on his Nintendo 3DS all the way down and playing _Pok_ _é_ _mon X_ while glancing up every so often to make it appear that he was paying attention. The teacher had already said the only thing that really counted was the final and his classmates posted halfway decent notes online, so he had it all covered. He wouldn't have even bothered to show up if it hadn't been for the school's policy of not counting a class if you missed so many sessions of it.

They were dismissed at one-forty-five, and Sollux quickly packed his bag (he hadn't taken much out of it in the first place) and slipped out the door before anyone else. He never stayed back to talk to anyone because most of his classmates in this particular class were all way too excited about the course—all hipster, art-loving douches who actually reminded him a lot of more-annoying versions of Eridan.

He grinned to himself. He could only imagine how much better the class would be with Eridan actually in it. He probably _still_ wouldn't pay attention, but there would be another reason for his distraction.

And now he would be heading back home to watch terrifying movies with Eridan. The intent really hadn't been to scare him or anything, but if the night ended with Eridan huddled against his shoulder, it would be a bonus. He'd be willing to change movies if it got too intense, but there wasn't much truly terrifying about _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2_. Really, Bill Moseley's lines just made everything funny.

Then again, while Aradia shared his warped sense of humor, not everyone else did. Maybe this was a bad idea. He didn't want to freak out Eridan too badly. _hey iim out of cla22 but lii2ten iif you dont want two watch tcm2 we dont have two_

_its okay, i can handle a little blood an gore an besides i made you sit through harry potter_

_yeah well harry potter ii2 not remotely terriifyiing two me then agaiin neiither ii2 the tcm franchii2e but you 2aiid iit 2care2 you_

_wwell honestly i nevver saww any a those movvies before so idk if those ones wwill scare me. wwho knowws i might end up likin them_

_oh okay well iif you change your miind ju2t let me know hey when doe2 your cla22 end_

_supposed to be 2:30 but shell probably let us out early. she usually does since its friday an no one pays attention on fridays anywway_

_hahaha fact of cour2e ii dont pay attentiion becau2e the cla22 ii2 utter bull2hiit_

_wwhat class_

_art hii2tory_

_aww that is crap! its a really interestin subject! howw can you not like it?_

_2ay2 my boyfriiend the art nerd but prof mendiicant get2 way long-wiinded. liike iim 2ure 2he2 a great teacher but 2he ha2 a tendency to ramble al2o art 2tuff ii2 not my deal_

_oooooh yeah i did hear that about her. an you havve that class in the lecture hall right_

_yeah_

_not a real learnin-conducivve envvironment_

_ii ju2t 2iit iin the back and play game2_

By then, Sollux was back in the cafeteria and heading toward the table Aradia and Nepeta were sitting at. He set his bag down next to Aradia's seat and pulled out his 3DS to continue playing Pokémon while she and Nepeta paused only a moment to greet him before returning to their conversation.

"Alright, so Halloween wasn't so great, but we can do something _paw_ esome for Thanksgiving, right?" Nepeta said.

Aradia laughed. "Most of us are going to be with our families."

That prospect sent a wave of dread through Sollux. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Mituna again—it was the main reason he hated holidays. He did kind of miss his mom, but he'd have to clue her in on his life and considering he could barely go five minutes without thinking about Eridan, he was sure to come up at some point. That, and Mituna would probably spill the beans before Sollux was good and ready for their mom to know, so that was almost guaranteed to be a train wreck. Maybe he could just skip out on the holidays this year or spend them with someone else like Aradia or Eridan.

Or maybe not. Maybe Eridan's family wouldn't be as accepting as his own mom was. Sure, Cronus seemed like a cool enough guy (certainly the idea that his younger brother was fooling around with another guy in the next room didn't faze him) but their parents could be completely different. And as far as Sollux knew, Eridan hadn't come out to them—although there also might not have been anything to tell them, Sollux reminded himself. After all, Eridan hadn't expressly said that he was bi or something. All he'd done was imply that he was pretty sure he might be, and at this point, that wasn't enough for Sollux to go leaping to conclusions like that.

"Yeah, I guess, but we could still have a _purr_ ty or something the weekend after or before Thanksgiving! I had fun last weekend—what about you?"

"Yeah, actually, it was pretty awesome."

"So we could do something else. I was hoping we would have more people last night but..." Nepeta looked sad for a moment. "I don't think anything could have fixed last night. But if it _hadn't_ happened, and more people had joined us, like everyone from last weekend, we could have had a blast!"

"That is definitely true. We should probably organize another discussion on Pesterchum to plan that. Although going up to Eridan's house should probably not be involved," Aradia added with a laugh. "Not that it wasn't fun, but that holiday drive would be _stupid_ ridiculous."

"Dibs on not hosting that party," Sollux mumbled.

"Oh, no one was asking _you_!" Aradia said, messing with his hair. "No one would want to hang out at your place, either."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically. He stuck out his tongue.

"It's okay, I think Equius would be okay with us doing something at our house. We got enough floor space and a pull-out sofa in case anyone ends up staying the night."

"And what would we do?"

"Play games! Like... um... pin the feather on the turkey?"

"Oh, Jegus," Sollux muttered.

"And drunk Twister! Oh, and we can do our own Thanksgiving dinner!" Nepeta squeaked, as though the idea had just occurred to her (it probably had). "Equius is really good at Thanksgiving turkeys! And everyone can bring something else to eat!"

"Which will be great since ED's a vegetarian and FF's a vegan," Sollux added. He was becoming more invested in the conversation as it progressed, mostly because it seemed like a great alternative to seeing Mituna. Although if Terezi came and happened to bring along Latula... He tried not to think about that. _Doom. Only doom._

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Well, we'll just have to make sure we have vegan-friendly food there! No big deal!"

_my class just got let out_

_oh good theyre talkiing about thank2giiviing plan2 now_

Sollux stood back up and made to abscond, but Aradia grabbed him by the wrist, keeping him in place. "So, where are you off to?" she asked sweetly.

"Uh, home."

"Oh, good. I'm coming over this weekend. We're hanging out."

"Um, okay."

"You better be ready, because I will drop in with zero notice."

"Wait, tomorrow or Sunday?"

"Yes."

"That's not an answer."

"Sure it is."

"It wasn't a yes or no question!"

Aradia just grinned. "Be on your guard, Sollux Helena Captor. I'm like a ghost. I'll walk through your walls and watch you while you sleep."

Sollux rubbed his forehead, exhaling slowly and deliberately through his nose. "Go creep on Horse Cock."

Both Aradia and Nepeta let out squeaks, but where Aradia looked embarrassed, Nepeta seemed highly amused. "I'm gonna assume that 'Horse Cock' is your nickname for Equius."

"He started it!" Aradia said accusingly, pointing at Sollux as he backed away. "He said that ever since he found out Equius was going to be a horse for Halloween, all he could think about was 'Horse Cock'!"

Nepeta dissolved into laughter, tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh, my God!" she wheezed between giggles.

Sollux figured now as a great time to leave since both Nepeta and Aradia were preoccupied, so he hitched his backpack higher and scurried away. As he left, he happened to glance to the side and see Kanaya and Rose tucked away at a corner table, and part of him envied how uncomplicated their relationship seemed. Even after a week, the amount of drama between him and Eridan had reached headache-level proportions.

Not that he didn't like Eridan, because he liked him a lot (he had it bad for him, and he could only hope this wouldn't blow up in his face), but sometimes he wished they could just be them without worrying so much about what other people thought.

Eridan's BMW was idling outside the cafeteria building when he finally got outside, so he hopped in and tossed his backpack on the back seat. "Hey."

"Hey, what's the word?"

Sollux couldn't resist a smart-ass remark. "A combination of letters and sounds that existentially should have no meaning but—"

"I'm gonna hit you."

Sollux gave a snort of laughter as Eridan pulled away from the curb. "Nah, but AA and NP are on about this Thanksgiving thing they want to do, like a friends-only kind of thing. NP has this idea of EQ making turkey and people bringing vegetarian and vegan-friendly food."

"Oh, _that's_ what you meant. Shit, I don't think any a' them would know vegan-friendly food if someone flung it at their face."

"It's a lot of shit no one really thinks about," Sollux said, not sure if he should take offense to Eridan's comment or not. He was pretty sure he knew what vegan diets entailed.

"Yeah, there's milk an' eggs in stuff most people don't realize."

"Well, NP really wants some vegan main course for you and FF, so... I hope you have ideas."

"A few, but Thanksgivin' at the Ampora house usually involves me eatin' a lot of mashed potatoes and carrots. I'm not really big on the tofu turkey."

"There's also green bean casserole."

"For me, yeah, but it's not vegan-friendly. That cream a' mushroom soup has all kinds a' non-vegan stuff in it."

"Oh. Crap, yeah, I didn't even think about that."

"Am I goin' the right way?"

"Um." Sollux looked around at the street around them. "Oops, no, whip a shitty right here."

Eridan slowed to a stop at the red light and turned to stare at him for a moment. "What?"

"Make a U-turn. Sorry. That's what my mom calls making a U-turn."

"Whip a shitty, oh, my God," Eridan muttered, putting on his blinker and getting into the turn lane. "Where am I goin' after this?"

"You were here yesterday," Sollux pointed out.

"Yeah, an' I was distracted by the thought a' your bee costume. I thought you were jokin' but you clearly were not. Oh, hey, this looks familiar."

"Yeah, that's because it's my building—and you just missed the entrance."

"Fuck." Eridan scratched the back of his head. "Alright, I'm goin' around the block."

"Fine and dandy, except that's a one-way street and it's going the wrong way."

"Why are the streets here so fuckin' stupid?" Eridan grumbled.

Sollux chuckled and leaned back in his seat. "So what are you actually going to do for Thanksgiving?"

"Parents' house, probably. Same as every year. Except this time, Cro will pretty much _have_ to come. My parents are gonna want visual proof that he's alive an' unharmed."

"Relatively."

"Relatively. An' I _know_ my grandparents are gonna be there this year for the same reason—my parents have probably told everyone in the damn family that Cro got shot so everyone's gonna wanna fawn all over him. But, hey, as long as they're not hoverin' over me..."

"That sounds... really irritating, actually."

"Yeah, well, me an' Cro are the only kids in the family. None a' my aunts an' uncles had kids so everyone just kinda zeroes in on us. Great when it came to presents when we were younger, actually—fewer kids meant we got some mad Christmas mornin's, but for Thanksgivin'... not so much."

Sollux had a few cousins he hardly ever saw, mostly because they were on his dad's side of the family and he hated them as a rule, and the only relative he had on his mom's side (besides his mom) was his maternal grandfather. The guy was overall pretty nice, but he drank way too much and started talking about his days in the Navy, so his mom kept both him and Mituna away from the guy. Essentially, his whole family was nuclear—in more ways than one. Still, he was a bit jealous of the way Eridan had grown up. He'd obviously been surrounded by a lot of love as a kid, and it was hard not to wish he'd had a little more of that.

"You okay?" Eridan's voice broke through the cloud of his thoughts and Sollux realized they'd parked.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"You need to talk?"

Sollux shook his head. "Nah, let's just go inside."


	71. Intermission VII/Act 71

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Limited spoilers for The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 contained herein.

_**INTERMISSION VII** _

This was stupid. He was Dave motherfucking Strider, wasn't he? So why was he so freaked out by the mere idea of asking out a girl? She wasn't just any girl, true enough, but he still couldn't believe the level of his own nerves. After all, he was pretty sure she liked him. She'd certainly laughed at all of his jokes and witty, sarcastic lines. He was the coolest of the cool, the smoothest of the smooth. The only way he could get any more cool and smooth was if he somehow magically transformed into Reese's Cup-flavored frozen custard—and even then, the other frozen custard flavors would be like, "Damn, Strider, you're too cool and smooth for us!"

And yet, for all his coolness and smoothness, even thinking about asking out Feferi Peixes gave him palpitations. It was a decidedly un-coolkid reaction, but he couldn't help it. He liked her a lot. She was sweet and funny and didn't take anyone's shit—not even her best friend Eridan's. Part of him harbored an impressive amount of disbelief that Eridan was her best friend anyway—he was a bit of a tool—but no one was perfect. At first, he'd thought there was something going on with them, like maybe they weren't just friends, but last weekend had proven him wrong. Eridan started to get way hung up on Sollux, and now Dave was pretty sure the two of them had a thing. This assumption, at least, had more basis—he'd seen them making out last weekend and then they showed up together for the Halloween festivities.

He was grateful that she still seemed to be single. He wouldn't even be contemplating this if she wasn't single—that would be a dick move. Still, he was nervous. He'd been rejected before, and it stung. All he had to do was muster up his courage and say something like, "You wanna see a movie with me?" and, one way or another, it would be over. _Better do it fast_ , he told himself.

And there was the other issue—actually running into her to ask her. He was worried that asking her out via text message would be seen as too aloof and that finding her in the cafeteria and leaving right after would be desperate. He thought about inventing some excuse to run into her, but nothing came to mind.

"Earth to Strider," John sing-songed from next to him, elbowing his arm.

It jolted Dave, but he didn't let it show. "What?" he asked calmly, turning his head to stare right at him through his sunglasses.

"You seem distracted. Something wrong?"

"Nope."

"You sure? You're not really paying attention and you seem kind of—"

"I'm fine," Dave said, a bit more sharply than he intended, but John left him alone.

He felt like an asshole, though. It wasn't John's fault he was stressed out, and it was in John's nature to be curious and want to help him out. Sure, he could be irritating sometimes with his nearly-undaunted cheeriness, but that was another reason the little weirdo was his friend.

Still, this wasn't something that he could just help with.

He found his way to the cafeteria after class, and there was Feferi sitting at a table with a textbook open in front of her. _This is a bad idea_ , he told himself, but he turned to John anyway and said, "I'll be right back."

"Ooh, where are you going?" John asked excitedly, starting to follow him.

Dave put his hand against John's chest to keep him in place. "If you follow me, I will garrotte your head off and play football with it. I just need to do something, okay?"

John furrowed his brows. "Okay. I'll be over with Nepeta then." He headed off to Dave's left, toward a table where Nepeta and Aradia were sitting. Apparently John's crush on Nepeta hadn't quite dissipated yet. _They deserve each other._ Then again, they were both so obnoxiously cheerful, they might end up annoying each other.

Dave turned back around to look at Feferi again. She hadn't moved (unsurprisingly), so he took a deep breath and headed over to her. She didn't look up at his approach which unnerved him slightly, but maybe she was just really absorbed in her studying. Once he drew up to her, he said, "Hey," hoping he sounded casual.

Feferi finally looked up with a harsh look on her face. "What?" she snapped.

He froze. _What's wrong with her?_ he wondered. "Um... never mind." He turned right back around and headed out the door. _I guess she really doesn't like me all that much._ He tried to tell himself that it was okay, that maybe she was just having a rough day or something, but he still couldn't help feeling like maybe he'd completely misinterpreted the situation. _That was not how that was supposed to go at all._

As soon as that angry _"What?"_ had flown out of her mouth, she regretted it. She saw his eyebrows shoot up and even though she couldn't see his eyes behind his sunglasses, she got the impression she'd hurt his feelings a bit. Before she could apologize, he'd mumbled a hasty, "Um... never mind," and hurried away, out of the building, leaving Feferi to drop her forehead to her book.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," she muttered. If _that_ wasn't a sure way to get the guy she liked to hate her, nothing was. It hadn't even been Dave's fault she was so upset—even though she'd calmed down from the Vriska thing somewhat at Eridan's somehow relaxed demeanor, she'd gotten angry again after he left, and then she'd gone and lashed out at Dave. That had been a huge mistake, but now there was nothing she could do. _Fuck!_

Plus, she'd wanted to ask him out, but obviously, that wasn't about to happen anymore. _Come on, Fef, think of something._ An apology wouldn't be a bad place to start, but she couldn't exactly go tearing out of the cafeteria trying to find him. Text message it was, then.

_)(ey, Dave, I'm reelly sorry aboat t)(at! I didn't mean to be rude! 38C_

Maybe should could have done without the fish puns, but she was too used to them not to. Anyway, he answered a few moments later.

_it's okay. i figured you were having a bad day or something._

_Kind of. I don't reelly want to get into it, t)(oug)(. So w)(at did you want to glub aboat?_

_oh nothing in particular. just wanted to chew the fat. like the mad nasty fat fresh off the cow was practically begging to be chewed, just eyeing my teeth like damn son i want to get in that and my mouth was like well okay if you insist._

Feferi let out a snort of laughter. _W)(ale, t)(en I guess you're not mad at me anemonemore?_

_i wasn't mad at you at all._

_Good. W)(ale, I actually )(ad somefin I wanted to ask you._

_i'm all ears. there are ears literally everywhere on my body just waiting to hear this._

Oh, God, _that_ made her nervous. She was even more nervous now than when she'd sent the apology to him initially. _W)(ale, okay, feel free to say no to t)(is but I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out wit)( me sometime._

_wait like on a date?_

She cringed and fisted her hair. _That_ didn't sound promising. _O)(, cod, I'm sorry, just forget I said anyfin! 38C_

_well i just wanted to know since i was actually planning on asking you the same thing._

_Wait, reelly?_

_yeah i was about to ask you a few minutes ago but you were upset so i figured it wasn't a good time._

She blushed but felt like an even bigger idiot than before. _O)(, my cod, I can't believe it. I am a )(uge doofis)( 38C_

_hey it's okay really. so i guess that's a yes to both our questions, huh?_

Feferi grinned and bit her lip. _Yea)(, I guess so! So w)(at did you want to do?_

_i was thinking something incredibly lame and clichéd like a movie._

_T)(at sounds suitably overdone. I'm all for it!_ Trying not to giggle hysterically to herself, she hid her face and grinned. The bullshit with Vriska aside, today wasn't turning out so badly at all.

  
_**END INTERMISSION VII.** _

* * *

_**ACT 71** _

Eridan hadn't been in Sol's bedroom before. He bounced a few times on the bed before Sol, who was rummaging through his DVD collection on the floor, shot him a dirty look.

"What? Just queue it up on Netflix or whatever," he said.

"I would if I could, but Netflix is a supreme asshole and only has the _TCM_ movies available through the mail."

"Fuckin' twats."

"Exactly." Sol located the DVD and popped it into his PS3. "It's really not that bad," he added, climbing up to join Eridan on the bed. "You don't actually see anyone getting killed except—wait, no, spoilers. Anyway, all the gory parts are like after the actual sawing, not during. Plus, it's a lot of really shitty 80s special effects. You can tell how fake it all is."

"Well, okay," Eridan said, bouncing again to mask his uneasiness.

"And if you really don't like it, we'll put on _My Little Pony_ ," Sol added with a teasing grin.

"Shut up an' play the damn movie, Captor."

Sol continued smirking and hit the A button on his PS3 controller. A few moments later, an ominous-sounding narrator started reading off the text on the screen. _"On the afternoon of August 18, 1973, five young people in a Volkswagen van ran out of gas on a farm road in South Texas..."_

"That's always like the stupidest thing ever," Eridan murmured. "Like how can you not realize you're runnin' low on gas? It's not that hard to fill up the damn tank or somethin'."

"Shh!" Sol hissed.

" _Four of them were never seen again. The next morning, the one survivor, Sally Hardesty-Enright, was picked up on a roadside, blood-caked and screaming murder."_

"If I saw some blood-soaked broad, I wouldn't pick her up," Eridan commented. "Sure way to get killed yourself." Sol put his hand over Eridan's mouth.

" _Sally said she had broken out of a window in Hell."_

Eridan tried to mumble around Sol's hand, "That explains the blood," but he failed. Sol shot him another dirty look.

" _The girl babbled a mad tale: a cannibal family in an isolated farmhouse, chainsawed fingers and bones, her brother, her friends hacked up for barbeque, chairs made of human skeletons... Then she sank into catatonia."_

Eridan licked Sol's palm and the taller boy pulled away his hand. "Ew."

"Chairs made a' skeletons don't sound very sturdy."

"Preferable to being made to sit in your paraplegic brother's wheelchair while his corpse is still in it," Sol shot back.

"Ew, really?"

"Yeah, really."

" _Texas lawmen mounted a month-long manhunt, but they could not locate the macabre farmhouse. They could find no killers and no victims, no facts, no crime. Officially, on the record, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre never happened. But during the last thirteen years, over and over again, reports of bizarre, grisly chainsaw mass-murders have persisted all across the state of Texas. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre has not stopped. It haunts Texas. It seems to have no end."_

"Just like this ramblin'," Eridan said.

"It's over now," Sol said. As he said it, an eerie music started playing and the opening credits rolls.

Eridan talked a lot of shit during the opening sequence, but it was to hide the fact that his heart was already racing from the sheer prospect of getting scared out of his mind. He didn't understand how anyone could watch something like this—who really wanted to get terrified? He grabbed onto Sol's hand—fortunately, the one he hadn't licked—and clung to it for the first ten minutes or so until half of Buzz's head fell off. Sol was right—the special effects were so cheap, he could tell it was fake, and he actually found himself laughing at the fake blood spurting out of his head.

"See?" Sol said. "Not so bad."

"Not really." He relaxed his grip on Sol's hand, holding onto it loosely, but just tight enough so he could run his thumb over the back of his hand. He didn't mind this all that much, actually—he felt like he was watching a trope of every bad horror film ever made, plus the two characters to get killed at the beginning had been assholes. He didn't feel bad for them, causing him to silently revel in their deaths. It was always satisfying when jackass characters got killed.

Throughout the movie, he flinched and closed his eyes for a moment once or twice, but once he got used to the sound of the chainsaws running almost constantly, it was strangely enjoyable. Sol had also been right about there being only one actual depiction of someone being killed with a chainsaw, and since there wasn't much blood, it didn't bother Eridan as much as he thought it would. He laughed at Chop Top's stupid jokes and was suitably grossed-out at the fingernail in the chili, but at the end of it, he was surprised that he actually kind of liked it.

"So I don't get it. How was there a sequel after this? It looked like every one a' the Sawyers died."

"They did," Sol said with a sigh.

"An' Leatherface died, right?"

"Well, I find it hard to come up with a way to survive with a chainsaw going right through your stomach and out the other side."

"So how—"

"I got no fucking idea. I could understand like Freddy from _Nightmare on Elm Street_ and Jason from _Friday the 13th_ since they have like Hellish influences. Freddy haunts your dreams so he's clearly supernatural and Jason drowned when he was a kid but was resurrected to kill campers so there's something demonic or whatever about him but the Sawyers are just a family of sick, cannibalistic psychopaths, so how they came back to life is beyond me. My theory is that the third one is an alternate version of what might have happened after the first one since Drayton was gunned down in the opening part, so he obviously couldn't be alive for this one."

Eridan flopped back onto the bed and ran his fingers over his hair. "Weird."

"Yeah. So you want to watch something else? It's only four-thirty."

"What else you got? Something less scary. Not that this was too bad, but..."

Sol let out a snort of laughter. "Have you seen _John Dies at the End_?"

"No, but now I'm curious. Why would they give away the ending?"

"Let's watch and find out."

So Eridan ended up wrapped around Sol for another movie, laughing a lot more at this one than he did at _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2_. It was ridiculously funny, and it had a lot of really weird twists and turns that kept Eridan thinking and guessing right up to the end. It was the kind of bizarre indie film that he found entertaining, and he was starting to think that his boyfriend's taste in movies wasn't so bad.

He probably enjoyed it more than he would have if he'd watched it alone because now he had his head against Sol's chest and Sol's arm over his shoulders and he had his arms around Sol's middle and when he could spare brain cells away from the movie, he kept thinking about how Sol was right there next to him and they were all snuggled up. He trailed his fingers up Sol's side and though Sol didn't say anything or even look at him, Eridan could hear his heart rate tick up for a few moments and feel him take a deeper breath than normal.

Eridan grinned. He liked that reaction. Sol was paying attention to him.

Sollux couldn't focus on the movie. He knew he was screwed when, the moment the DVD was in the slot, Eridan curled right up to him and held onto him. Sollux put his arm around Eridan, half through necessity and half because he really liked having Eridan close to him, but he knew any hope of actually being able to watch the movie was lost. Eridan had put his head right on his chest and Sollux stared determinedly at the screen but was internally focused right on Eridan and the warmth radiating off his body and the clean, intoxicating smell of his hair and the general soothingness of their proximity. It was really nice to just have him there.

And then, when Eridan lazily rubbed his side, Sollux had to struggle not to twitch. It tickled, but more than that, being touched by Eridan like that sent an irrational surge of hormones through him that made him want to pin Eridan to the bed and make out with him.

Maybe he'd fucked-up by having this movie marathon in his actual room, on his actual bed, where he actually slept. Back at Eridan's apartment, it made sense because Cronus hung around and there was no way to get privacy, but here, they could have just as easily moved the TV back into the living room (he moved it back and forth from time to time but its home was the living room) and they could have watched movies out there, and at least he wouldn't be this tempted to sleep with Eridan. He'd be a little tempted, but it would be a lot more difficult to pull off—plus, he had this idea that, at least the first time they had sex ( _if_ they had sex, Sollux reminded himself), he wanted it to be on a bed, so now he was really trying not to think about that.

But the temptation to make out with him was still there, even after he became dimly aware of the hunger gnawing in his stomach. It would make for a really good way to divert attention from the sexual tension later—suggesting they eat something, although all he had in the apartment was Ramen noodles and he didn't want to make Eridan feel like he had to pay for everything, because that was fucked-up. Noodles it was. Noodles were delicious, although it usually took him four or five cups to feel full. Jesus, he felt like a loser.

If Eridan was aware of his internal struggle, he didn't say anything. He simply stayed cuddled up to Sollux and occasionally ran his fingers over Sollux's side again, which really only exacerbated things. Toward the end of _John Dies at the End_ , his stomach gave a loud growl and Eridan chuckled, glancing up at him. "Hungry?"

"I could eat." Sollux cleared his throat. "I have noodles if you're hungry."

Eridan snorted. "Fuck that. Let's go out."

"I don't have—"

"Calm down, Captor, I'll pay. It doesn't bug me."

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't say it if I wasn't sure." Eridan yawned and stretched for a few moments, finally letting go of Sollux and sitting up. "Besides, I'm hungry myself." He bounced off the bed, and despite his nerves, Sollux rolled his eyes at that.

"Alright." He slid off the bed and put his shoes back on.

"Where did you wanna go?"

"You're the one with the restrictive diet. You pick."

"Surprise, then. Come on, let's go." Eridan shrugged into his pea coat and threw his scarf dramatically over one shoulder as he led the way out of Sollux's apartment.

**_END ACT 71._ **


	72. Act 72

They ended up at Rubio's for dinner. Considering what had happened the last time they were there, Sollux wasn't so sure Eridan had made the right call, but again, it wasn't on his dime, so he wasn't going to complain. Much.

"You have an interesting sense of humor," he said, glancing at Eridan as he parked.

Eridan grinned at him (which was preferable to the alternative, a blank or bewildered look). "I liked the symmetry a' it."

Opening up his car door, Sollux grumbled, "I fail to comprehend the symmetry, unless you're planning on breaking up with me."

This time, Eridan did actually look confused. "A' course not." He suddenly smirked. "I had somethin' else in mind, though."

Sollux sensed an impending prank. He wasn't sure what Eridan could have possibly thrown together in a few hours (they hadn't even made plans to hang out until this afternoon) and, moreover, what he could be planning _here_ , but he went inside the restaurant with Eridan anyway, glancing around suspiciously for any sign of whatever Eridan might be about to pull.

Meanwhile, his boyfriend went to the counter and ordered the same thing he'd gotten last time: a vegan burrito with the works. "Whatever he wants, too," Eridan added, motioning back toward Sollux.

Sollux eyed the counter carefully before stepping up, too. "Street tacos. The plate."

"Sure thing, hon," the cashier said with a smile. "Steak or chicken?"

"Chicken."

"Anything to drink?"

"Dr Pepper."

"Large?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Anything else, hon?" she asked, still smiling. It was actually a little unnerving. _Something's screwy here._

"I'm good."

"Okay. Fourteen eighty-seven," she said, now addressing Eridan.

Eridan was practically _glaring_ at her as he handed over his debit card. She didn't seem to notice—in fact, she smiled quite pleasantly as she handed them their drink cups and receipt. Eridan pocketed the receipt and grabbed the cups in one hand and Sollux's with the other and dragged him away.

"Um, you okay there?" Sollux asked once they were at the soda dispenser.

"Just fine," Eridan muttered.

Sollux raised an eyebrow and took one of the cups from Eridan. "You sure? You seem a bit... livid."

Eridan ground his teeth. "You didn't even notice, did you?"

"Um." Sollux glanced back at the counter for a moment. What had he missed? Was there a prank? Something significant about $14.87? Oh, shit, was Eridan giving him shit for eating chicken? No, that couldn't be it, he'd never done it before. "No? What happened?"

"She was _flirting with you_!" Eridan hissed.

Sollux couldn't help it. He started laughing, doubling over and holding his sides. "No, she wasn't," he choked out when he could finally speak without wheezing.

"She called you ' _hon_ '," he growled.

"She was just being friendly. It's her job."

"She didn't call _me_ 'hon.'"

That made him stop laughing. "She didn't?"

"No, an' she certainly wasn't smilin' like that before you showed up."

"That's... really weird." After all, Eridan did appear at first glance to be a douche, but he was a pretty hot douche. Sollux considered Eridan to be way more attractive than him—he never would have figured the cashier was flirting with him. It wasn't something he was used to happening. "I wasn't flirting back."

"I _know_ ," Eridan said, practically whining, "but... it's still annoyin'."

Sollux had to fight to hide his smile. "Are you jealous?"

Eridan went red and ducked his head to hide his face behind the collar of his pea coat. "No," he muttered unconvincingly.

"Why are you jealous?"

Eridan didn't look up as he spoke—it was more of a mumble, actually. "I... I don't know-w, I guess I just... thought it w-was obv-vious that w-we w-were... y'know-w, together."

As neurotic as Eridan was being right now, Sollux had to admit that it was also kind of cute. "Hey. It's okay. I know and you know, right?"

"Yeah, but..." Eridan finally looked up. "I still thought people could tell."

Sollux chuckled and rubbed his forehead. "Alright, I got an idea. Just, first, how comfortable are you with PDA?"

Eridan shrugged. "Fine, I guess."

"Alright. My idea is, I wait until she's looking and then I kiss you. Okay?"

Eridan thought it over for a minute. "I got a better idea. We do exactly that, but first..." He got down on one knee, sliding one of the rings off his right hand. "Will you wear my ring?"

_This is a prank. It can't be a prank—she was flirting with me and there was no way she could be in on it, that makes no sense. No, she wasn't in on it, he's just taking advantage of the opportunity. But what purpose could that serve since he's the one on goddamn bended knee right now? Is this actually happening?_ But Sollux was grinning like an idiot and sure, his face was heating up, but he nodded and Eridan was grinning, too, and sliding the ring he'd just taken off onto the ring finger of Sollux's left hand and for some stupid reason it fit perfectly and he suddenly realized that if you weren't really listening, _will you wear my ring_ sounded a Hell of a lot like _will you marry me_. He grabbed Eridan by the collar of his pea coat and pulled him to his feet to kiss him, and Eridan wrapped his arms tightly around Sollux's waist until someone behind the counter called, "311!"

"Whoops, that's ours," Eridan murmured. He gave Sollux one last, quick kiss before heading up to the counter to get their food. Sollux felt his chest tighten and he glanced behind the counter to see that their cashier had turned away, looking sulky.

He grabbed Eridan's empty cup—he couldn't remember what Eridan wanted, let alone what _he_ wanted and sat down at the closest table, pulling out his phone. _AA WE HAVE A PROBLEM._

"Hey, what were you gettin'?" Eridan asked, setting down the tray and picking up the cups.

"Um... whatever's fine."

Eridan shot him a mildly concerned look but nodded. "Okay."

_0kay whats the pr0blem_

_ii thiink iim iin love wiith eriidan_

_0000h y0u must be seri0us, y0u spelled 0ut his name and everything. but again, whats the pr0blem_

"Here, I got you Coke," Eridan said. He set down Sollux's cup before sitting down. "'Bout time it was ready, though—I'm starvin'."

"Yeah, me, too." _hello ii ju2t told you the problem iim iin love wiith eriidan_

The tacos were good, but his mind was racing. He'd never even _thought_ he was in love before. That thing with Karkat hadn't been love—it had been trust than ended in a lot of pain, but Sollux had never been in love with him. And now this... He wasn't used to it. He was terrified because there was no way Eridan felt the same—absolutely none. _He'll just get tired of me and leave, and I'll just fucking let him._

_um h0ney i think y0u g0t "pr0blem" and "g00d news" mixed up_

_no AA thii2 ii2 a problem becau2e what iif he doe2nt feel the 2ame_

"Now _you're_ the one actin' weird," Eridan said, poking lightly at Sollux's hand.

"Sorry, just... distracted."

"You sure? Ever since I... _Oh_ ," he said, a look of dawning comprehension coming across his face.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I guess I should a' asked first. I didn't really get a chance, though," he added sheepishly. "I... wow, sorry, the thing with the ring—was that weird? You don't have to keep wearin' it after we leave if you don't want. I just kind a' had an idea an' went with it."

Sollux's phone buzzed, but he ignored it. "It wasn't _weird_ , exactly—it was just a surprise. And... well, what if I want to keep wearing your ring? It fits," he added quietly, as if it were the deciding factor.

Eridan smiled but hid it behind his hand. "Well," he said, and there was a definite note of teasing in his voice, "if you wanna keep wearin' it, I guess that's okay. Really, if I was any kind a' proper boyfriend, I would a' given it to you on Monday."

Sollux almost laughed at the double entrendre but he managed to keep his face straight. "AA probably would have lost her mind if you did, though. Not to mention the ' _cat-nip_ tion' Nepeta would have had."

Eridan blinked, looking horrified. "You did not."

"I blame AA for that one—she said it first."

"Bad enough I gotta deal with Fef's fish puns—I shouldn't have to hear cat puns when the crazy cat lady isn't even around."

Sollux finally laughed, the tightness in his chest easing. Nothing had been said to indicate that Eridan was in love with him, too, but somehow, what _had_ been said was enough to calm Sollux down. He'd started freaking out, but it was okay now. Eridan was okay with—no, seemed to _want_ Sollux to keep wearing his ring, and that was an outward sign that there was something between them. Maybe Eridan felt it, too, and for him, it just hadn't gotten to falling in love or he just didn't realize it yet. But it was still _something_ , and even though Eridan could be an obnoxious little shit, it was enough for him.

"But, yeah, sorry, still should a' asked before I went all _Rent_ on you," Eridan added.

"All _what_ on me?"

Eridan looked aghast. "You've never seen _Rent_? It's like the greatest musical ever!"

"How come it took you twenty years to realize you like dudes?"

"Shut up. Come on, I figured you'd have it on DVD _and_ Blu-Ray!"

"Yeah, I don't even think I've seen it before."

Eridan smacked his forehead. "I can't believe this."

"We can watch it on Netflix, right?"

"No, we can't, actually, because it's only available on DVD for Netflix!"

"That's fucking stupid."

"I _know_ , right?" Eridan groaned and finished the last bite of his burrito. "Alright, I'm ready to head back—what about you?"

Sollux still had half a taco left, so he folded it up and smashed it into his mouth. "Ready," he mumbled around his food.

Eridan was staring at him. "Oh, my God. Take me now."

"What?" Sollux struggled to finish chewing.

"It's a joke, Captor, chill." He picked up the tray, now littered with trash. "Let's go."

Sollux finally swallowed, drained the last of his Coke, and stood up. They were out the door as soon as they threw away the trash.

* * *

"So I don't have _Rent_ and we can't watch it on Netflix. What is your alternate proposal? Going back to your place and getting it?"

Eridan scoffed, following Sollux into his apartment. "Hell, no. Cro an' Meenah'd never let me hear the end a' it. Nah, I'm sure we'll think a' somethin' else. Probably won't involve watchin' _Rent_ , though."

"Such a tragedy," Sollux said with mock seriousness.

"I can tell how devastated you are," Eridan replied in the same tone. He wrapped his arms around Sollux's waist as they went back to his bedroom.

"So, again, what's the plan?"

"Again, somethin' that won't involve watchin' _Rent_."

"Harry Potter?"

Eridan laughed lightly against the back of Sollux's neck. "Mm, no. Somethin' that won't involve watchin' movies, actually."

Sollux had an idea he knew where this was going, but he felt like messing with him anyway. "I don't watch much TV and _The Mighty Boosh_ isn't available for streaming on Netflix, so you're going to have to pick."

Eridan growled softly in annoyance. "The TV will be off."

"Sure you don't want cover noise?" Sollux joked. "You were kind of loud the last time I sucked you off."

"Shut up," he grumbled, scraping his teeth over the back of Sollux's neck. "But... well, what if I wanna do more than, like, blowjobs this time?"

Sollux turned in his arms. "Like what, sex?"

Eridan swallowed. "I don't know. Maybe. But like the whole warming up to it thing... Could we do that?"

"Let me just see if I get what you're saying, okay?"

He nodded.

"You want me to finger you?"

He waited a beat and then nodded again. His heart was racing against Sollux's chest, but Sollux's heart was picking up speed, too.

"Okay. We can do that."

"Um, do you have lube here?"

"Yeah. I just didn't bring it to your place Monday night since..."

"Since you didn't expect to need it?"

"Well, I was _going_ to say that my backpack was full of toothpaste."

"Shit, I forgot all about that prank."

"It's still your turn. I actually thought you were pranking me by bringing me to Rubio's."

"Nah, I'll come up with somethin' _way_ better than that," Eridan said, grinning. Sollux was glad he was relaxing—he'd seemed really tense moments ago, and it made _him_ nervous.

"The bar's pretty high," he joked, tilting Eridan's head up to kiss him lightly.

"Trust me, you won't be disappointed." Eridan wrapped his arms around Sollux, meeting each kiss eagerly.

"Good." Sollux tried to come up with a witty add-on, but his brain was starting to melt as he and Eridan continued kissing, and it was becoming extremely difficult to focus on anything except that a few minutes from now, he'd be fingering Eridan. He certainly hadn't expected _that_ twelve hours ago.

Eridan shrugged out of his pea coat, unwound his scarf from around his neck, and dropped it to the floor. Sollux was satisfied since it was easier to hold him with the coat gone, and he playfully ran his fingers under Eridan's black T-shirt and over his sides. Eridan squirmed and let out a giggle before grabbing the hem of his shirt (knocking his glasses askew in the process) and yanking it over his head and starting on Sollux's hoodie.

"Here," Sollux murmured, sliding off Eridan's glasses and pulling back just long enough to set them on his nightstand. Eridan definitely looked different without his glasses—his purple eyes seemed bigger even though the lenses magnified his eyes until it looked like you could pick up Cartoon Network on them, and his nose seemed smaller in proportion to the rest of his face, but Eridan was looking right at him and Sollux couldn't look away.

He kissed Eridan again and nudged him backward until he hit the bed and scooted back. Eridan kept one hand at the back of Sollux's head to keep their mouths together, and the taller boy crawled onto the bed, too, between his spread legs. Eridan was finally able to pull off Sollux's shirt, actually completely removing Sollux's glasses, so Sollux fumbled for them and set them next to Eridan's while the other boy just tossed his shirt aside.

Sollux liked kissing him like that—Eridan's back to the bed, their bare chests pressed against each other's, no glasses to catch on anything, and with their jeans still on, he could rut against Eridan and get a decent amount of friction. Eridan let out these tiny, breathless little moans whenever Sollux moved, and Sollux couldn't get enough of hearing them; he hitched up Eridan's leg, running his hand over Eridan's ass, and ground against him.

Eridan groaned louder and moved his hips to match Sollux's motion. "You can quit teasin' me now," he muttered, weaving his fingers through Sollux's hair.

"Yeah?" Sollux asked, grinning. "Ready for the next phase of my nefarious plot?"

Eridan both giggled and tried not to, and a choked sound escaped him. "Yeah, get goin'."

"If you insist." Sollux moved his mouth to Eridan's neck and started biting and sucking—those hickeys from before were fading—while his hands went to Eridan's jeans to unbutton and unzip them. They both shoved down his jeans as quickly as they could (Sollux was forced to move off him and Eridan had to shimmy his hips before he was able to kick them off) and Sollux went for the lube in his drawer while Eridan slid off his boxers.

"You sure you're ready?" Sollux asked. "It's going to feel weird. Kind of uncomfortable."

A flicker of uncertainty crossed Eridan's face for a moment, but he nodded. "Yeah, I'm ready."

"And if you want me to stop, just tell me and I will, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise me, okay?" Sollux said, leaning down and cupping Eridan's cheek. "I don't want to hurt you. As soon as you want to stop—"

Eridan caught his hand. "Captor. Stop talkin'. I _promise_ , if I want you to stop, I'll tell you. I trust you," he added quietly.

Sollux nodded. "Okay." He flipped the top of the bottle and poured a palmful of lubricant. He made sure his first three fingers were covered and moved his hand in between Eridan's legs after lazily trailing his fingers over Eridan's stiff cock. "Knees up," he murmured, tapping one knee with the back of his left hand.

Eridan obligingly pulled his knees up and Sollux slowly circled his opening with his index finger. Eridan let out a shaky breath.

"Relax," Sollux breathed.

Eridan nodded, exhaling again, slower.

Sollux eased his first finger in, and Eridan inhaled sharply, eyes closing. "Keep breathing," Sollux murmured. "Just relax."

"Definitely feels weird," Eridan gasped.

"Want me to—"

"No, just give me a second, okay?"

Sollux nodded, waited a few moments, and then started giving small, shallow thrusts with his finger. Eridan moaned, one hand fisting in the sheets and the other drawn to his erection. "Mmm, God, Sol," he breathed. "Startin' to... _mmm_ , feel good."

Sollux bit his lip and started going a little faster, a little deeper. Eridan's chest was heaving and his moaning was getting louder and he was starting to jerk himself off— _he's getting off on this, he_ likes _this—_ and his whole body was rocking a bit, trying to meet Sollux's finger, so he leaned over the shorter boy and breathed, "You want more?"

"Mm-hmm," Eridan nearly whimpered, eyes still closed.

So Sollux managed to slip another finger inside him and continued thrusting. Eridan let out a high whine and he started stroking himself faster while Sollux scissored his fingers, spreading them as he dragged them out, and Eridan twisted his hips but didn't tell him to stop. "You good?"

"Keep goin'," Eridan breathed. "Don't stop."

Sollux shoved his fingers in deeper to graze against Eridan's prostate. The first time he touched it, Eridan's entire body jolted in shock and his eyes flew open. "Jesus _fuck_ , Sol, what was that?"

"What, this?" Sollux asked teasingly, rubbing against it more firmly now.

Eridan let out a long, low moan. "Oh, God, _yes_ , that—Sol, _please_ , don't stop..." He let go of his dick to fist the sheets with his other hand. _"More,_ Sol," he pleaded.

Sollux obliged him, sliding a third finger in and just rubbing it. He couldn't believe how Eridan was reacting—it was like he'd been made for this. He rocked his hips against Sollux's fingers and moaned nearly nonstop and begged for more, and it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Part of him really wanted to fuck Eridan right now, but a stronger part of him was just glad that _this_ was happening—proof right here in front of him that Eridan would more than likely enjoy having sex with him, Eridan liked guys, he was fingering Eridan—and besides, Eridan hadn't said anything just yet about wanting to have sex with him. He could wait, though. Eridan was so hot like this, and Sollux had a feeling it had been awhile since anyone treated him right.

"Fuck— _Sol_ ," Eridan gasped suddenly. "Just a little more, _please_ , keep goin'—yes, yes, _yes_ , fuck, I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come— _Sol—_!" Back arching off the bed, fists buried in the sheets, Eridan came, louder and hotter than ever. Sollux was glad he was still in his jeans—he was rock-hard and he didn't want that fact to be immediately obvious. At the same time, he was grateful his shirt was off since Eridan's come had hit his arm.

"Oh, God," Eridan laughed dizzily, and Sollux took that as a great opportunity to pull his fingers out. Eridan winced but otherwise didn't complain. "I wasn't expectin' _that_."

Sollux grinned, reaching for his shirt to wipe off his arm and hand. "Still bicurious or whatever?"

Eridan shook his head, still laughing softly. "I think I careened pretty far from 'bicurious.' Like, I liked that _a lot_."

"Yeah, got that when you started jerking off."

"Fuck off," Eridan said, grinning. "So I guess that makes me bisexual, huh?"

"I don't know. Do you wanna fuck guys?"

"Guys, no. One guy in particular, yeah."

Sollux grinned. "That's cute, but—"

"Leo," Eridan went on in a dreamy sort of voice.

"Leo? DiCaprio?" Sollux asked. "Fuck it, I can't compete with that guy. I'm leaving." He started to climb off the bed but Eridan grabbed his arm.

"I was just kiddin'. I guess I'm attracted to guys but... right now, you're the only person I'm interested in havin' sex with."

Sollux leaned over him and gave him a light kiss. "Good to know. I'm just glad you didn't think it was completely awful."

"Yeah, me too," Eridan laughed. He ran his fingers through Sollux's hair for a moment. "Thanks."

_I love you._ The words almost flew out of Sollux's mouth, but he caught them at the last second. Instead, he said, "Up for another movie now?"

Eridan laughed.


	73. Act 73

Halfway through _Finding Nemo_ (yet another movie Eridan had a bizarre passion for, and a welcome reprieve from strange and semi-scary movies), Sollux realized he'd never actually checked the text message he'd received. He was pretty sure it was from Aradia (they'd been in the middle of a conversation at the time, after all), so with Eridan curled up next to him under the blanket clad in only a pair of sweatpants that Sollux had found in his dresser, Sollux reached for his phone to check what had happened.

_um h0ney d0 y0u kn0w h0w incredibly weird that s0unds like breathe s0llux its 0kay y0u guys have 0nly been dating f0r f0ur days 0r whatever. falling in l0ve takes time_

_i think the fact that y0u are still t0gether with him when a week 0r tw0 ag0 he was c0nvinved he was straight is definitely g00d news t00 l00k he definitely likes y0u and i kn0w its pr0bably n0t what y0u want t0 hear but y0u need t0 just take a step back and enj0y what y0u d0 have with him_

_y0u there s0llux?_

_shit im s0rry i didnt mean t0 upset y0u 0r anything 0_0_

Sollux sneaked a quick glance at Eridan before responding. The other boy looked to be about half-asleep, drifting somewhere, and Sollux couldn't help but envy him slightly. _you diidnt up2et me 2orry we were out at rubiio2 for diinner and we 2tarted talkiing whiich dii2tracted me and then we—_ he paused, struck by indecision. Should he say anything about what had happened between him and Eridan? Probably not—that should probably stay with them. He was okay with that, though. — _started watchiing another moviie but um yeah youre riight and the conver2atiion me and ed were haviing made me feel better about the whole thiing ii gue22 2o iim okay_

"You're not watchin'," Eridan murmured, nudging Sollux sleepily.

"Sorry. AA sent me a text awhile ago and I never got to answer her."

Eridan nodded in acknowledgment and cuddled closer to him. "Okay. You answered her. Now put your phone away—we're on a date," he added, half-teasing and half-serious.

Sollux grinned at that. This was an actual date, wasn't it? They'd watched movies and gotten dinner and fooled around and started watching another movie. It was nice to just sit here and be with Eridan—the two of them fit well together. Plus there was the ring Eridan had given him—just thinking about that made him want to hide his face and giggle—and the impossibly sweet delivery.

He spun the ring around his finger with his thumb. He was actually really surprised it fit as well as it did. Upon closer inspection, he discovered it was Eridan's class ring from high school. The band was yellow gold and the stone was something deep, ridiculously purple (it almost matched Eridan's eyes) that Sollux was pretty sure was an amethyst; on one side of the band was etched Eridan's name and on the other was _2012_ , the year they'd both graduated high school. Sollux's first instinct was to ask for a ring that wasn't obviously worth so much—he wasn't planning on losing it, after all, but it was always a possibility and he didn't want to lose something so valuable, both in monetary value and sentimental value—but when he glanced over the other rings that Eridan had dropped on his nightstand, he looked to be hard-pressed to find something that fit that criteria. He reminded himself that Eridan was really rich—his house last weekend had proven that—so it wasn't unexpected that his jewelry probably all came from actual jeweler's stores, but _still_. It looked like the class ring might have been the least expensive one there.

But part of him was really happy about it, too. Sollux's own class ring was back at his mom's house because he didn't want to lose that, either, but it had a lot of sentimental value attached to it. He didn't have a lot of great memories of high school, but they weren't all terrible, either. He wasn't quite at the point where he was nostalgic for high school yet (he hoped he never was—he got made fun of way too often for his lisp and his heterochromia and his general nerdiness to really feel like he'd ever miss it), but some things weren't so bad. He almost missed the days when he and Karkat had been best friends, although if the general weirdness between them had never happened, he probably wouldn't have gotten so close with Aradia later.

And it wasn't like Karkat had been a bad friend, either—he'd been just as supportive as Aradia, actually—but Aradia was more gentle than him. She didn't yell all the time whereas Karkat's first instinct to show he cared was to yell at you until you felt bad. It was a nice change of pace to not immediately be made to feel guilty or something. Plus, when Aradia fucked with him, he knew it was all meant to be lighthearted whereas you never really were quite sure if Karkat was serious or not.

He wondered how long Eridan and Feferi had been friends. He didn't think they'd ever really talked about their pasts (aside from what the huge spiderbitch had done to Eridan), and he couldn't help but wonder. "Hey, you still awake?" he asked quietly, shaking Eridan's shoulder slightly.

"Hmm? Yeah. Watchin' the movie."

"Your eyes were closed."

"Shut up."

"How long have you and FF been friends?"

Eridan turned his head, giving him a slightly puzzled look. He'd put his glasses back on when they started watching the movie, and he took advantage of them to peer over the frames at him. "Random question."

"I had a train of thought. I started thinking about how this is your class ring and I can't believe you're letting me wear it since I'm so paranoid of losing my own class ring that it's at my mom's house, and then I thought about my high school years and they weren't the greatest and KK wasn't a bad friend back then but he yelled a lot—fuck, he _still_ does—and I think AA's a better friend for me than he was. And then I started wondering about when you and FF became friends, I guess. Like we don't really talk about stuff like that."

"Hmm." Eridan stretched under the blanket for a moment. "Yeah, I guess we don't. But with me an' Fef, there's not a lot to tell, really. We met... hmm, I think it was summer between third and fourth grade. My family already had the pool in the backyard, but my parents liked to take me an' Cro to the public pool anyway since we probably wouldn't socialize otherwise. Neither a' us were all that popular when we were little."

"I'd have figured rich kids would be _really_ popular."

"Meh—our whole neighborhood is rolling in money. In terms a' my classmates, we weren't all that rich. Money wasn't the popularity thing—it was all about who you knew an' how you looked, an' I was a weird-lookin' kid," Eridan added with a laugh.

"You're still weird-looking."

"Shut up." Eridan reached up and tugged Sollux down by his shoulder to give him a quick kiss. "I meant weirder than now. I kind a' grew into my looks a few years ago, but back then... not so much. Anyway, back to this story.

"So that summer, we went to the pool almost every day. One a' our parents almost always went with us for the first few weeks, an' then they decided that since Cro was eleven, twelve years old at the time, he's old enough to supervise me, plus there was adults an' lifeguards everywhere, so no big deal. That was where I met Fef—at the pool. She'd just moved to the neighborhood like a month before summer vacation started an' I think her mom had the same idea that my parents had since she went to the pool with Meenah even though they had a pool at their house, too."

"That's it?"

"Well, I think there was some splashin' involved an' she tried to drown me once, but after that, we just kind a' stuck tight. I went back to school with a friend finally an' since I didn't really have friends before that, I didn't even care if my only friend was a girl since she was way cooler than most a' my other classmates anyway. An' then we went to the same high school, an' in high school, things changed since it was one a' those big schools with kids from all over goin' there, so suddenly bein' rich was an advantage an' I was finally lookin' less like a swordfish an' more like an actual person. So we both got other friends in high school—I think that hangin' out with me in grade school an' middle school made her a social outcast by association since I was her only friend, too. It's weird, since she could a' easily made other friends if she stopped bein' friends with me since she's such a nice, likeable person, but she chose to stay friends with me anyway. So that was really cool. I probably wouldn't have made it through the Vriska mess if she hadn't been there."

"I thought FF didn't know about what happened with you and VS."

"She didn't, but she could still tell somethin' was buggin' me I guess. She asked a few times but I didn't tell her, but she still did what she could to cheer me up, an' it actually helped. So I guess to answer your question, we've been friends for eleven years now."

Sollux ran his fingers over Eridan's hairline. His hair was still stiff with product, but Sollux still felt like touching it. His hair looked good, but it was a pain in the ass when Sollux wanted to stroke it. He didn't like not being able to just touch his hair without a big fuss, plus he had a feeling he was pulling uncomfortably on Eridan's hair when he tried. "Better track record than mine, I guess."

"Yeah, you an' Ara have only been friends since college, right?"

"Yeah, after the crap that went down with KK, I avoided people for awhile. We've really only been friends for like a year since before that, I was just tutoring her. We became friends from that."

"What about when you were friends with Kar?"

"Well, we're still kind of friends, just not as close. But... I don't know. We were both kind of hated in high school. People shoved him into my locker since he would fit and I wouldn't, but I got more of just the name-calling since I've always been taller than just about everyone. It's easier to beat up KK since he's so short, but... fuck, I think I would have preferred that."

"What did they call you?" Eridan asked quietly.

Sollux shook his head. "Lot of stuff. I don't... I don't really want to think about it."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. They didn't get me in the end. That's what counts. Besides, being in high school but not actually at school wasn't so bad. Mituna and I liked to fuck with people for awhile by switching places and going to each other's classes. Only a few people could really tell us apart—I already had the contacts at that point, so people couldn't use my eyes to figure it out—but whenever Mituna talked, pretending to be me, he would give it away pretty quickly since he kept fucking up my lisp, whereas if I make an effort, I can actually sound normal."

On the TV screen, the blue fish (Sollux knew she was voiced by Ellen Degeneres, but he didn't know the character's name) was saying something heartfelt to the clownfish. Sollux could kind of see why Eridan liked this movie—the obsession he had with water and fish made sense. "I don't want to forget," Ellenfish said.

"I'm sorry, Dory. But I do," the clownfish said sadly.

"What did I miss?" Sollux asked.

"Wow, you haven't been paying attention at all, have you?" Eridan said obnoxiously. "Okay, Dory—the Blue Tang—has short-term memory loss. She forgets things almost immediately. Except that she found the goggles that the diver who took Nemo dropped an' the diver's address was on the goggles an' she could read human language so she read the address an' for some reason, she remembers things a little better—like the address—when she's around Marlin. Marlin is the dad clownfish," he added."

"Okay, all that sounds a bit familiar."

"Oh, dear, Lord," Eridan muttered. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, Marlin wants to leave an' go back home since he thinks Nemo is dead an' he's just leavin' Dory to fend for herself really which is a dick move since she's basically mentally handicapped an' in a strange place a really long ways away from her actual home, but yeah, when he leaves, she starts forgettin' things again an' she doesn't want to forget, but he does since Nemo was the only family he had left."

"Oh, right, his fish-wife and most of the fish-babies got eaten at the beginning."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"This is Pixar, right? It has a happy ending?"

"Of course it does. Plus _Finding Dory_ is comin' out in 2015 I think. Just fuckin' watch the movie, Captor."

Sollux laughed and tightened his arm around Eridan. "Whatever you say, Ampora."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter count will be 75 because I'm updating tomorrow and Thursday, and the next day starts NaNoWriMo, so I figured it was perfect. Finish the fic with a sequel later instead of just a month-long hiatus before the last however many acts. The sequel to this will be called "Reworking the Terms" and will focus on either RoseMary or PB&J instead of Erisol. (I will also probably try to introduce Calliope and Caliborn into that one.)


	74. Act 74

The last thing Jade wanted was for Vriska to go straight home—she had a feeling something bad would happen if she did. After they left the pool and Vriska went to the library to study a bit before her next class, Jade considered following her just to make sure Aranea wouldn't try anything (she had no idea where Aranea actually was or what she could possibly do, but that didn't stop Jade from worrying about her), but in the end, she settled for just waiting. She went to the cafeteria building and caught sight of Feferi, who still seemed pretty angry, so she just skirted the edge of the room and hoped Feferi didn't notice her. Jade knew her life was about to get very dramatic—she didn't want to add to it.

Once she was sure no one had seen her (at least, no one who was mad at her), she set up camp at a table in a corner and started pondering. It really seemed like Aranea was the one who had killed the Marquise—Jade remembered how obviously attached Vriska had been to the tarantula and found it hard to believe that Vriska would have killed her own pet just to turn Jade against Aranea. Unless Vriska was even more of a conniving bitch than Aranea, which Jade supposed was possible, but altogether unlikely. Besides, Jade had seen the way Aranea looked at her, that pure loathing that read, "I would kill you if I could," and it made her shiver. And then, later, when Aranea had been nothing but sickly sweet to her, it was even more unnerving than the earlier, unadulterated hatred. No, Vriska was right—Aranea was definitely a psychopath. Killing a tarantula was definitely within the realm of possibility.

Jade wondered how she had been able to sneak up on the Marquise, though. Marquise Mindfang must not have been fully aware, because any kind of threatening gesture, even from someone as close to her as Vriska, would probably set her off her natural defenses. Admittedly, Jade hadn't gotten a very good look at the picture Vriska had shown her besides gawking at the wooden kebab skewers, and the picture itself was kind of poor quality and not even at the right angle, but it hadn't looked like any of the itchy little hairs had been jettisoned.

_If only they had, though_ , Jade thought sadly. If only the Marquise had gotten the chance to defend herself, whoever had killed her would be very itchy right now and it would definitely point the finger of blame in the right direction. It would probably also make it easier for Vriska to convince their mother of Aranea's sadistic tendencies.

Vriska had to have a plan to make this work. Jade had no idea what that plan might entail, but then again, she'd never had to deal with anyone quite as vicious as Aranea Serket before. Vriska had. Vriska was used to what Aranea could throw at her and had most likely come up with defense strategies without even realizing it. Living with Aranea had made her cold and bitchy, but it had also made her smart.

_Vriska, you aren't going back home after school today, are you?_

_I can't really stay away... I wouldn't have a good excuse._

_Well, what if you said one of your classes was having a study group and it was MANDATORY so you couldn't skip it? That way, you don't use the word "friend" and tip off Aranea and it also seems like you don't really want to be there? She wouldn't suspect anything._

_Jade Harley, that is the most devious thing I've heard all day ::::D_

Jade grinned.

_8ut where am I going so as not to go home?_

_You're coming to my house, of course. I mean, I'll have to warn my grandpa since he gets a bit... snappish around new people, but I'm sure I can convince him to let you stay, at least for a little while. Besides, I think it would be better for you if you didn't go home right away. At least not until you have a game plan._

_Well, I do have a fairly well-thought-out plan, 8ut you're right—I should mull it over a 8it more._

_I can help! We can plan the most conniving and devious of plots and make popcorn and drink cider!_

_::::) I would actually like that a lot._

_Well let me know when you get out of your last class and we can go._

Now that Jade knew Vriska wasn't going right home, she felt better. At least now, if Aranea really was planning something else (Jade suspected not, at least not right away, not until she'd seen the effects of what she'd done this morning), it would be that much longer before Vriska found out. She deserved whatever peace she got.

* * *

Aradia and Nepeta settled down in front of the TV while Equius sprawled out on the sofa and fell asleep. The three of them had finished their classes for the day and gone to the house that Equius and Nepeta had rented a little ways out of the city. Aradia had just been here the day before, but things had already changed a lot. Just about all of the Halloween decorations in the neighborhood had come down (a few remained obstinately up, pumpkins and window-cling skeletons and one or two witches smashed onto trees), and there seemed to be candy wrappers strewn on the sidewalks everywhere, which astonished Aradia. This was California, after all, and littering was especially frowned upon here.

But inside the Leijon-Zahhak residence, there wasn't a single concession to the day-past holiday at all. Instead, there were sheets of construction paper taped up all through the hallways and the living room, paper with hand turkeys on them in various sizes—not just Nepeta's tiny hands, but larger ones, Equius-sized hands. Aradia amused herself with imagining Equius sitting at the kitchen table, tracing his hands, and decorating turkeys with markers, crayons, glitter, and more construction paper while Nepeta hissed at him for protesting.

There were also pumpkin-scented candles on the coffee table in the living room—one lit, filling the room with the smell of pumpkin pie, while the rest remained unlit, but the wicks were charred, so they'd been out there for awhile—and a big window-cling turkey in the front window.

"I guess you guys really do celebrate the holidays," she laughed.

"Mmhmm," Nepeta said with a nod. "My sister Meulin came over on Sunday night after we got back from Mr. Am _purr_ a's house and helped us decorate. The hand turkeys were Equius's idea, though," she added, giggling.

" _Really_?" Aradia grinned and glanced back at the couch. Equius was snoring softly, one arm thrown over his eyes. "I wouldn't have pegged him for the type."

"Nope, most people don't, but Meulin thought it was a great idea! She also brought some Christmas decorations, but those are hiding in the _claws_ et right now."

"I didn't know you had a sister," Aradia added, giggling a bit at the pun. "I mean, I knew Equius had a brother, but... Meulin, you said her name was?"

"Yep! She's basically just a younger version of me. She's seventeen now, which is weird, since I still see her as a little five-year-old, but she's already got her license and she's driving my mom's station wagon. I can't believe how fast she's grown up!" Nepeta said, making a big show of wiping her eyes with her sleeves.

Aradia couldn't help but smile. Nepeta was quickly becoming a close friend of hers, something she probably should have expected since Nepeta had basically been the great matchmaker for her and Equius. Equius and Nepeta were basically a package deal, so it was a good thing that Aradia liked them both.

"So, wanna play _Grand Theft Auto_?" Nepeta asked abruptly, scooting toward the cabinet under the TV. She popped it open and pulled out an Xbox, two controllers, and rummaged around until she found _GTA IV_. "I feel like running over some hookers."

Aradia actually burst out laughing. She certainly hadn't expected _those_ words to come out of Nepeta Leijon's mouth, but then again, this was the girl who mainlined Everclear. Nepeta was definitely one of those secret badasses that she'd looked forward to meeting in college.

Equius, jolted awake by Aradia's abrupt laughter, snorted and suddenly sat up. "What? What's happening?"

"Nothing, sorry," she said, grinning sheepishly. "Nepeta just said she wanted to run over some hookers."

"Hmm." He nodded like this was an everyday occurrence and lay back down.

"I'm not very good at video games," Aradia admitted to Nepeta. "I mean, I play _Rock Band_ with Sollux and Terezi sometimes but that doesn't take a whole lot of coordination, you know?"

"It's fine, we don't have to play any missions! Besides, you're _purr_ obably better than Equius, anyway!"

"I heard that," Equius rumbled.

"Shoosh!" Nepeta turned and swatted at the air. "Besides, you _suck_ at this game!"

"Because I seldom play," Equius pointed out.

"Be _claws_ you suck at it!"

"No, it's becla—" He cleared his throat. " _Because_ I don't wish for my driving habits to become tainted by anything in that game."

Nepeta scoffed. " _GTA_ won't make you a bad driver any more than _Call of Duty_ will make you an expert sniper!"

Aradia covered her mouth with her hands and tried not to giggle. Their little arguments were adorable.

Equius heaved a sigh. "I know that. But still." He wiggled to make himself more comfortable on the cushions. "Play if you must, but leave the volume at a low level."

Nepeta rolled her eyes. " _Fine_ ," she griped. "We should play drunk _GTA_ ," she added to Aradia. "It's the closest we'll get to drinking and driving without getting a DUI!"

From the couch, Equius groaned.

"It's a bit early," Aradia said, trying to be placating. "Maybe once it's after five or something."

"It's five o'clock somewhere!" Nepeta said, sticking out her tongue, but she accepted it anyway.

As it turned out, Aradia actually was pretty terrible at _Grand Theft Auto_ , but Nepeta assured her that she was, in fact, better than Equius was. Half-awake, Equius mumbled something about building robots and not having time "for such absurd tomfoolery," adding, that the game was "foolishness upon one hundred-thousand prior, equally unsolicited foolishnesses." Nepeta ignored him.

Just as Aradia was starting to get the hang of playing (she and Nepeta would hand the controller back and forth), her phone buzzed and made her jump in surprise. "Crap. Here, you take it," she said, handing the controller to Nepeta.

It was from Sollux. _AA WE HAVE A PROBLEM._

She rolled her eyes. He was probably being a drama queen. _0kay whats the pr0blem_ , she replied.

Nepeta drove to where she'd parked the helicopter last and got it. Aradia couldn't believe there was a helicopter in this game and that it was so easy to fly. She knew real helicopters were quite difficult to pilot, so she wished the game had a bit more realism.

Then again, if you sent twenty people to the hospital and ran down pedestrians in crosswalks, you'd probably end up in jail in about five minutes, so maybe _realism_ wasn't the thing to expect.

_ii thiink iim iin love wiith eriidan_

Aradia squeaked and smacked Nepeta on the arm. "Wha—oh, my God!" she gasped after she saw the text from Sollux. "Find out what happened!"

Aradia ignored her—if Sollux wanted to tell her, he would. Still, she didn't know why he was freaking out so badly over something that was only a good thing. _0000h y0u must be seri0us, y0u spelled 0ut his name and everything. but again, whats the pr0blem_

It was a few more minutes before a reply came back. _hello ii ju2t told you the problem iim iin love wiith eriidan_

She sighed. Yes, he was being unnecessarily dramatic right now. She loved him to pieces, of course, but sometimes, she just didn't get him. Being in love was supposed to be a good thing, after all—who honestly dreaded the revelation that they were in love? Besides Sollux, she supposed. But he'd basically had a crush on Eridan for weeks now, even if it was a hate-crush. Things seemed to be going better, but still. _um h0ney i think y0u g0t "pr0blem" and "g00d news" mixed up_

Part of her wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, but she couldn't for physical reasons and she wouldn't because they were friends and she knew that, if he was freaking out about this, shaking him would only upset him further. Still, Sollux didn't seem to realize how great he was—maybe all this was projecting because he didn't think Eridan felt the same way about him, which was absolutely crazy because Aradia didn't know many supposedly straight guys who made out with other guys and then started dating them as an experiment. Eridan obviously liked Sollux a whole lot.

_no AA thii2 ii2 a problem becau2e what iif he doe2nt feel the 2ame_

She wanted to sigh. That was it. _um h0ney d0 y0u kn0w h0w incredibly weird that s0unds like breathe s0llux its 0kay y0u guys have 0nly been dating f0r f0ur days 0r whatever. falling in l0ve takes time_

She was speaking from personal experience—she felt something strong for Equius, but she wasn't sure it was flat-out "in love" feelings yet. Maybe soon, but hadn't Sollux been the one to be concerned with not rushing things with Eridan? Or maybe that only applied to the physical parts and not the emotional ones.

But her musings were interrupted when Nepeta snatched her phone out of her hand, turned the screen off, and thrust the controller back into her hands. "Your turn! We're still bonding!"

Aradia giggled and let herself be sucked back into Liberty City.


	75. Act 75

"So, basically, I need to set up a whole bunch of surveillance equipment to record Aranea being a massive bitch. Once I have enough evidence, I will present my findings to the court of my mom, and I have to expect she'll take it from there." Vriska leaned back on Jade's bed, putting her hands behind her head. "Of course, in order to get the reactions from Aranea that I need to _prove_ that she's a massive bitch, I'll have to utilize my own brand of manipulation. I can't decide if playing it like I'm devastated by the Marquise's loss is the best way to go—which I am, don't get me wrong," she added, "but I'm not really in favor of letting her see that. Or I could pretend like I don't care and that I didn't get the implied message. I think that way would be better, because then it might egg her on to try to retaliate again."

Jade nodded slowly from her desk. "It probably would. She seems like the type who would crumble if she was ignored."

Vriska grinned. "That, she would. Hopefully it's enough to send her over the edge."

"But surveillance equipment... I don't know, Vris, that kind of sounds illegal."

"Here's the way I look at it: it's _my_ house—I'm not setting this stuff up at someone else's place just to spy on them. Second, I'm only planning on putting it in like the kitchen and living room and common areas—no bedrooms, no bathrooms. I want privacy to be maintained. I may put an audio recorder in my room and station a camera on the door just to see who comes in, but that's in my own room for my own protection. And three, it's _my_ idea. If anyone gets in trouble for this, I'll take the heat for it. I've never really been able to rely on anyone else for something, so I'm used to doing it on my own anyway," she added quietly.

"I see."

"The only thing I really need at this point is someone else, someone who knows their way around these computers to set up the monitoring grid I want. Preferably someone Aranea's never met, so she can't try to threaten them in case she finds out about this. Plus all that data we're going to be collecting? I want to make sure it's stored away from the house so she can't get to it and try to destroy it. I need all these safeguards in place, which is kind of sad and ridiculous." Vriska's shoulders slumped and she sighed. "I still can't believe it's come to this, though. Like, we were never really _close_ or anything, not unless you count her telling me only family is worth trusting, but she's still my sister. And she killed my tarantula."

"How often does your mom go in your room?"

Vriska gave Jade a puzzled look. "Once in a couple of days or so, but she probably wouldn't notice the recording stuff if it was small enough and well-hidden."

"That's not what I was getting at. I'm just thinking—how could you explain the absence of the Marquise? Would your mom notice she was missing?"

Vriska drew her knees up to her chest, pulling her bare feet across the covers, and thought for a few moments. "Probably," she said finally. "That would give it away, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah," Jade said, nodding. "So you should probably get a new one. I mean, I don't know how much they cost, but—"

"They're not too expensive. Ten dollars is pretty cheap, and those are wild-caught ones. You can't be sure that those are female—the ones that die a few months after you get them are definitely male. The females can live up to twenty years. I'll probably get one of the really cheap ones in case it _is_ a male and Aranea decides to try to skewer that one, too."

"That's awful."

"Yeah, I'm not a big fan of possibly sending _another_ tarantula to its death, but I can't very well go home without one. My mom will wonder, and I can't really tell her I loaned her to a friend because my mom knows I wouldn't do something like that." She sighed. "She wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the tarantulas, of course, but I still have to have one."

"And then you have to get all that recording stuff... when were you planning to start watching your sister?"

"Very soon. Like 'this-weekend' soon. I have a feeling it's going to be a very expensive weekend."

"You can stay here, at least for tonight. Obviously, I want to keep you here all weekend so you don't have to go back there anytime soon, but we'll probably have to go set up sometime this weekend."

"We?"

"Of course—I'm helping you. I can't very well let you do something like this alone. Your sister is evil, Vris. You shouldn't have to deal with it on your own. That's why I'm here."

Vriska tried to hide her smile, but Jade still saw it, and it looked like Vriska had been offered everything she'd ever wanted.

* * *

Several hours later, after slipping past Jade's insane, gun-toting grandfather not once but twice, they closed the bedroom door tightly and started setting up.

Vriska put her new tarantula on Jade's dresser to keep it (she refused to call it a she since it was one of the really cheap ones, but she still felt herself forming a bond with it) out of the way. Then she and Jade pulled out the tripod and the handheld video camera and attached the camera to the platform on top of the tripod. She had been right in thinking it would be an expensive weekend—she'd dropped about three hundred dollars for this whole mess, but she hoped it would be worth it.

"Alright, are you ready right now?" Jade asked, peering at the camera's fold-out screen and training the camera on where Vriska would be sitting.

Vriska rubbed her arms. She didn't feel ready. She felt raw. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Alright. We should get started. We can order pizza later," she added. "I know I'm getting pretty hungry."

Vriska half-smiled. "Yeah, me too." She plopped herself on the edge of Jade's bed, brushed her hair back with her fingers, and straightened the collar of the blue long-sleeved button-down shirt she wore. "Okay."

Jade hit the record button, waited for a moment, and said, "We can edit out the extra pieces at the beginning later. I know a bit about video editing."

"Good, 'cause I don't know _shit_ ," Vriska said, trying to laugh. "I've got way too many irons in the fire."

"All of the irons?" Jade joked, having already picked up on Vriska's mannerisms.

"All of them," Vriska confirmed, her smile turning more genuine. "Okay, here I go." She sighed, squared her shoulders, and straightened up. "My name is Vriska Serket. It's November first, 2013, at ten-fifty PM. Yesterday, I turned twenty years old. This morning, I woke up to discover that my pet tarantula had been killed. It wasn't a natural death. It was murder." She paused and leaned forward, addressing Jade now instead of the camera. "Can we, like, cut to one of the pictures I took on my phone later?"

"In editing? Yeah, no problem."

"Cool." Vriska sat back and continued. "Something like that can't be attributed to an accident. I know someone killed my tarantula, and I know who it was." Vriska's gaze turned steely. "It was Aranea, my sister, and while I can't prove that she killed my tarantula, I _can_ prove that she has been sadistic and abusive for twelve years, and she needs treatment. My name is Vriska Serket, and this is _Operation: Out of the Fire_." She paused again. "Cut. How did that look?"

Jade hit the record button again to stop it. "Pretty good. Come over here and watch it. I think I caught some things we'll want to fix, but I need your input, too."

"Like what?" Vriska asked, hopping off the bed.

"Like... come watch. Look," she said as Vriska circled behind her to watch the tiny screen. "You keep folding and unfolding your hands. It's distracting on-camera. We can't really crop the view, either, since it'll mess up the proportions, and you can see the movement through your shoulders anyway. We'll have to record it again."

Vriska nodded. Jade was right—her constant movement did draw attention.

"Just, at the same time, don't try to hold completely still. If your head is the only part of your body that moves, that'll look weird, too. Try to keep your movements simple and at a minimum. And deliberate. There's a difference between fidgeting and gesturing."

"Okay, let's do it."

They had to re-record Vriska's spiel three more times. Jade hadn't wanted to do that—there was nothing quite like a passionate first delivery—but Vriska managed to keep her intensity strong every time, and the fourth time that Jade stopped recording, they had good footage.

Now all they needed to do was find one last accomplice to help them. Jade sat down at her computer and asked the only person she knew who didn't have an immediately vested interest in not helping Vriska: Dave Strider.

– – _gardenGnostic began pestering turntechGodhead– –_

_GG: DAVE! i need your help!_

_TG: sure with what_

_GG: do you know anyone whos good with high-falutin technology_

_TG: how high-falutin are we talking_

_TG: like king henry viii high-falutin_

_TG: or queen elizabeth ii high-falutin_

_TG: or steve jobs high-falutin_

_GG: the last one, i guess! theres just a lot here and its a lot of high-tech stuff... i just need someone who knows their way around this kind of thing, thats all_

_TG: yeah i think i know a guy. his name is sollux. pesterchum handle is twinArmageddons. he might be on right now, these are his peak hours_

_GG: okay, thank you!_

_TG: hey where did all that high-falutin technology come from, anyway?_

_GG: just bought it. its for a project_

_TG: and you got it without knowing how to use it?_

_GG: i kind of know how to use it! i just need a bit of extra help with it, is all. but thanks for the guy's contact info, ill try to talk to him this weekend!_

_TG: sure, no problem. have a good weekend_

– – _turntechGodhead ceased pestering gardenGnostic– –_

Jade turned triumphantly in her seat. "I got a name!"

"Really?" Vriska sat up in interest. "Who?"

"Dave says this guy's name is Sollux."

She didn't know what Vriska's reaction _should_ have been, but it certainly wasn't the look of _are you fucking nuts_ that she shot Jade right then.

"What?"

"Um, I know a guy named Sollux, and based on who _he's_ friends with, he probably wouldn't be in a position to be sympathetic."

"Who's he friends with?"

"At least two of my exes, for starters—Kanaya and Eridan."

"Oh." Jade thought it over. "Look, what do we lose by talking to him? He can really only say no, right?"

Vriska sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Alright, fine, I guess it won't hurt to ask."

* * *

Sollux and Eridan ended up staying in Sollux's apartment all weekend, only emerging for food before retreating back into the haven they'd made for themselves. Whenever Eridan fell asleep before Sollux (which was often), Sollux would amuse himself by playing _The Sims 3_. It was a great way to kill time since it didn't require a whole lot of brainpower, and besides that, it made hours pass by like minutes. He was always surprised to start playing at eight or nine and look up fifteen minutes later to discover that it was one in the morning. That was when he'd finally crawl beneath the covers and Eridan would sleepily turn over to let Sollux spoon up behind him, and then he'd be able to drift off, slowly but surely.

It sucked to emerge on Monday, but they did it anyway. Eridan reluctantly headed off to his first class and Sollux went to the cafeteria building and started playing _Pokemon X_ on his 3DS to pass the time while Aradia tore through the last few chapters of _A Dance with Dragons_. Soon, he supposed, he would pass on a few details about his weekend to Aradia, but right now, the glow hadn't quite subsided, and he was content to bask in it.

At least until he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a certain spider-bitch striding right for the table he and Aradia were sitting at. They both noticed her and the girl with the long, dark hair, round glasses, and buckteeth that Sollux had seen days ago trailing behind at the same time, and Sollux immediately closed up his 3DS, tensing up. This promised to be awful.

But when Vriska opened her mouth, what she said was _not_ what he expected. "I need your help."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! It's been fun! Keep your eyes peeled come February or so for "Rewriting the Terms"!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Get Your Smile On](https://archiveofourown.org/works/593612) by [L_Greene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Greene/pseuds/L_Greene)
  * [You're Lucky to Have Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/942473) by [L_Greene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Greene/pseuds/L_Greene)




End file.
